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Fbilidttpbla, Silurdiy. December 27. 1)1)
m ACTION, GENTLEMEN!
MONTHS ago the organization of tho
joint Delaware River Bridge Com
mission was completed.
Tho commission held a meeting yes
terday. "We may discuss the engineering
staff," said Governor Sproul.
The world knows the leisurely ways
of commissions. If the gentlemen con
cerned officially with the Camden bridge
project are not yet certain of what they
-will discuss at their all-too-infiequent
sessions, how often will they have to
meet before they can agree on questions
of design and terminals?
SUBBING FOR THE SALOON
WITH a confidence that seems born of
inspiration, Ernest L. Tustin, the
new director of public welfare, enteis
the long list of zealous people who be
lieve that they have found or can find
a substitute for the saloon. Mr. Tustin
has not made his plans public. He ap
pears to be thinking of a light-hearted
combination of dance hall and movie
show supervised by prophets of right
eousness from the municipal welfare
department.
The scheme is interesting. Mr. Tustin
should be helped and encouraged. We
wish him luck. But the average hard
drinking barleycorner went to saloons to
be deluded. He could believe that he was
an unbeatable strong man, Caruso, a
prophet, the wisest politician of all, a
poet, a prizefighter. He could have one
delusion at a time or a whole flock of
them simultaneously. Saloon substitutes
will not meet all his lcquirements. They
will not give him headaches, either.
That's why Mr. Tustin's task is not easy.
POSTAL EFFICIENCY
II AN UNPRECEDENTED burden was
rV jxl puj; Upon the postal. organization in
this city m the week preceding Christ
mas. The volume of mail and parcel
post matter was stupendous. There was
a time on Wednesday when it seemed
that the delivery system would be hope
lessly -congested. Yesterday, however,
the postoffice officials were able to an
nounce that every letter and package
mailed up to midnight on Christmas Eve
was delivered before the force quit for
their own holiday.
The tradition of efficiency is very old
In the postoffice organization. Six years
of bad management, tyrannical authority
and poor pay have not sufficed wholly to
destroy it. It will survive until a suc
cessor to Burleson arrives to provide a
fairer administration. But the credit be
longs to the hard-working civil service
personnel and not to the political ap
pointees. HIGH SEAS AND HIGH BALLS
A N AWFUL picture of a ship with an
" unspliced main-brace accompanies
the announcement that the shipping
board is considering disposing of all its
vessels to private American ownership.
The utter hopelessness of competing with
foreign passenger steamers on which
alcoholic refreshment is legally sanc
tioned is ominously forecast.
But what is a woefjl horoscope on
land is not necessarily applicable to the
sea. Epicures both in food and drinks
have been known to fast persistently on
shipboard. And some of the most indig
nant words ever voiced havo been flung
at more than one immune and self-constituted
Samaritan who called champagne
a cure for seasickness.
THE WILD EAST
DANDITRY of the soit that was sup-J-'
posed to have passed forever with
the s,tage coach is having an astonishing
revival along the line of the Lincoln
Highway between this city and New
York. Motortruck crews are required
to go heavily armed. One driver was
shot dead not long ago by thieves, who
got off with his machine and a consign
ment of cloth valued at $20,000.
Outlaws have been quicker than the
police to perceive the possibilities of
motor vehicles. The automobile is their
chief dependence and tho belief expressed
by the authorities at Passaic, N. J., that
an extensive organization of thugs ex
ists, with first-aid stations, hiding places
and equipment at various places along
tho route between Philadelphia and Jer
sey City, seems well founded.
Over a year ago traces of an elaborate
organization of motor bandits were un
covered in this city. It was found then
tnat trucks with valuable loads often
were trailed in fast passenger cars by
thieves who sought opportunities to
steal tho machines, even if an attack on
tho driver were necessary. The fre
quency of hold-up stories in the news
shows how abfectly the police in this
city and elsewhere have failed to meet
the new tactics of resourceful criminals.
In New Jersey as well as in Philadel-
' S;upSiS?irSSl,0,,eo dcpatU
I Aitf-lwii-Ufna nf Vin vii-lrttla nfnt.rs will
I 4v..w....ca -i v..w .-.. -- ---
havo to learn speedily how to deal with
. .. . ,i .. !r t--
ino new type 01 nigiiwayinun u muiui
traffic is to bo mado safo on important
roadways.
RAILROADS HAMSTRUNG BY
CONGRESSIONAL BOLSHEVIKS
There Is No Hope for Business Until the
Old Hostility to Capital Invested In
Transportation Is Abandoned
rpHE solution of the whole railroad
-a- rtrnhlnm nnntnva nvrmml tlin nrntpc- '
tion of tho light of the public to con
f,..... ..... ..u u.wm..u -.. , ,
tinuous and rfllcient service from the
transportation corporations.
President Wilson has not touched upon
this phase of the question in his procla
mation ordering the return of tho roads
to their owners on March 1. If he refers
to it at all it will be in a special com
munication to Congress while that body
is trying to agree on a new plan for
railroad regulation and on what the gov
ernment is to do to reimburse tho rail
roads for the losses sustained during tho
period of public control and operation.
Railroads are not private corporations
in the sense that a corporation manufac
turing shoes or hats or clothing or type
writers is private. 'Ihc lailrcad is a
public highway in fact and in law. The
courts have held that the owners of the
loads arc trustees of the people to whom
is committed tho tabk of operating the
loads m hucli a way as to give the same
service to every one on the sumo terms.
Government has had to interfere in
order to secure uniformity of service and
uniformity of charges so that there might
not be discrimination in favor of any one.
But the interference has not been in
telligent. Rates have been fixed so low
that it became impossible years ago for
the railroads to secure tho capital needed
for extensions and improvements. It
would bo about as easy today for the
railroads to float a loan as for the soviet
government of Russia to sell an issue
of bonds in the American market.
The Bolsheviki have been little nioic
hostile to all capital than our own Con
gress has been to capital invested in
tho railroads. A billion dollars a year ih
needed for the next five yeais to provide
the improvements and new equipment
requited by the roads if they are to give
the country the service that its business
demands. But to ask for it under present
conditions would be like asking sane men
to throw their money into the fire.
Congress hat. two months, more in
which to undo tho evils of the past and
to leimburse the railroads for the losses
sustained under government operation.
If it acts intelligently and without preju
d ce it can lay the bugaboo of a panic
which has been stalking up and down tho
land ever since the signing of the armi
stice. The railroad payrolls hae been in
cicased by the government more than
$1,000,000,000 a year, according to Judgo
Lovett, of the Union Pacific system, and
the rates have been increased barely
enough to cover this item. The increased
cost of fuel and material equipment has
not been provided for in any way, and
the government is insisting that the roads
owe it large sums for equipment bought
during the war.
Several of the brotherhoods whose
members are employed by the roads are
planning to flemand a further increase
in wages before March 1, while the gov
ernment remains in control and while
the threat of political reprisals against
the party in control of the executive de
partments can be used with some hope
of success. If these increases are granted
the railroads will be in a very serious
condition when their owners get poEses
sien of them.
There is no way out save thiough a
further increase in lates which the pub
lic will have to pay. And in addition to
the further increase in rates, the public
will be buidened with the payment of
$613,000,000 which Secretary Glass has
asked to be appropriated this year out of
the national revenues to pay the deficit
that is accumulating under government
operation.
It has been estimated that the total
deficit will amount to $1,500,000,000. If
an attempt is made to pay this out of
the ordinary revenues at once, the na
tional budget will be so large a.s to be
beyond the ability of Congress to pro
vide for. If a leconstruction bond issue
weie made to cover this sum the tax
payer would be temporarily relieved, for
the payment of the debt would be spread
over a long period of years. Men inter
ested in the railroads would doubtless
buy the bonds and accept the govern
ment's promise to pay, while they would
use the money thus supplied for the de
velopment of the roads.
This is not a matter to which, as wo
have said many times before, the man
in the street can be indifferent. The
railroads are not owned by a group of
rich men with inexhaustible resources.
They aie owned largely by the holders
of life and file insurance policies and by
the depositors in savings banks. This
means by the plain people of model ate
means. If the railroads are bankrupted
the value of the savings bank deposits
and of the insurance policies is seriously
impaired.
This property must be protected, not
only against the folly of Congress but
against the unreasonable demands of the
men who work on tho railroads. But
whenever some cbngressmen think of a
railroad they think of what used to he
called a bloated bondholder reveling in
riches, drinking champagne for his break
fast and dining on terrapin. It has thus
far been impossible to get this idea out
of the mind of the lawmakers in Wash
ington. The men who have looted tho
railroads in the past are largely respon
sible for thi3 belief, but the day when
railroad looting was easy has passed,
never to return; that is, railroad looting
by unscrupulous speculators.
The menace now comes from the broth-'
crhoods of employes. They succeeded in
holding up Congress when tho Adamson
eight-hour law was passed on the eve
of a presidential election in September,
1910. They are planning another holdtup
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGBR -
on the cvo of another presidential elec
tion. There is grnvo danger that Congress
will forget that tho public is more vitally
interested than tho railroad employes
in tho wage question and in tho protec
tion of tho capital invested in the rail
roads. Word camo out of Washington
yesterday afternoon that tho plans in
the Cummins bill to protect tho public
against strikes were not to bo ndoptcd
in the bill finally passed, and that no
adequate plan had been devised for tho
settlement of disputes ubout wages and
hours of woik.
Unlet.8 moral pressure is brought to
1. .... u.. - .. M. . ...!.
uuui uiuu vuu tuiifjiuHsmen uiu tvuni
will doubtless justify this forecast.
THE TREATY SCAPEGOATS
TDEVIEWING his dark and distuibing
impressions of his recent trip through
Europe, William Potter deplores the fact
that tho peace treaty was over made a
political issue. In that opinion u huge
majority of Americans concur. The dis
agreement starts with the futile process
of fixing the blame.
There arc hindsight experts who de
nounce tho President for having urged
the election of a Democratic Congress,
for having gono to Europe at all, for
having appointed on his commission no
other Republican save the experienced
but not influential Henry White.
From another standpoint the round
robin against the league was tho pri
mary offenso. It swayed raitisan Re
publicanism toward a policy wholly at
variance with the best party traditions
and was pla'nly marked with bad temper
as well as haste.
There aro times, however, when culprit-hunting
is among the most sterile of
enterprises. Tho logical order of acts
which make for progress has been re
versed in tho present crisis. Tho na
tion is under the crucial necessity of rat
ifying the treaty. A moratorium on
fault-finding should be the first step.
With it, acceptance the pact will be
come comparatively easy.
Later on tho scapegoats may be soiled
out and there will be plenty of political
arguments for all hands. It is notice
able that even in Germany leconstruc
tion comes first. Disputes about punish
ing the guilty have not been permitted
to cmbanass the concerted plans for
revival.
In our own country those politicians
who wish to make the trebly a campaign
issue will have their most effective am
munition after the document has been
made operative. The question of who
blocked it most may then legitimately
be raised.
AN OBJECT LESSON IN FRANCE
rpHE oversubscription of the new
French loan on tho first day that it
was offered is more than an index of
patriotism and an optimistic view of the
future. It is testimony also of the sound
financial habits prevalent in the leading
European countries.
The small investor, composing the pre
ponderating large portion of the pub
lic, is thoroughly accustomed to bond
buying. Stock swindlers and easy
money artists arc generally less trium
phant abroad than hero at home, not so
much because Europe is virtuous or its
public averse to gain as because respect
for security is firmly implanted in the
popular mind.
It is America which is emphatically
the happy hunting ground of the get-rich-quick
concern. Proof of this fact
could be supplied by the postoffice to
any skeptic.
The Liberty Loans, however, were a
wholesome financial as well as a patri
otic stimulus. It will be well to remem
ber that merit should the government
sen fit to float any additional general
issues. Such bonds do not merely help
to pay the debts of the United States.
They furnish an armor against flighty
finance, which France in particular has
long successfully worn.
Tho victory of the new loan proves
j that, despite the alleged "orgy of extiava-
gance" in Pans, a good many stockings
over theie are not silk but wool.
The fair-price board
As to Fair Prices may set what it aims
for fair piicp.s; but
fair prices nre not necessarily low prices.
The best that can be hoped for iu the cir
cumstances is that Mr. MrOlain. with tho
aid of the newspapers, rnny be able to drive
the heartless profiteer out of business.
All tho mathemati
Just a Little Chore cnlly inclined political
economist lias to do
nowadavs is to square the weious circle in
which Wage and Cost of Pioduot are play
iug ning-Around-Rosj.
Bandits in Chicago invaded a fu store,
forced clerks and customers to lie on the
floor and escaped in an automobile with loot
to the value of $2.",000. Sounds like a chap
ter of Philadelphia's current history, doesn't
it?
The Homo Defense Guard has been mus
tered out. Tho ttnining thej r reived will
always be an asset to the men and the serv
ice thej gave will bo remembered by ull
citizens.
The holiday spirit everywhere noticeable
gives direct refutation to tho assumption of
the friends of John Barleycorn thnt siccity
makes a sick city.
The man who has both patriotism and
money has a good opportunity to show his
colors by presenting a standard to the local
post of the American Legion.
Stanch in our admiration for General
Pershing, wo concede that fried dried apple
pie has too much dignity for blapstick
comedy.
Wonder if Admiral Kims ever vvonders
if the time is not near when it may no longer
be said Jhat no President has ever come from
the navy? .
Steps being taken to prevent holdups
in financial institutions stem to show a lack
of desiro for u bank where the wild time
grows.
The Profiteer is tho Other Fellow and
his residence is Elsewhere. And where the
Rlsewheio would it be?
Here's where Chef Time makes hash out
of the Christmas dinner.
We all feel better for the dissipations
j of a prosperous Christmas,
PBILAPELPHIA, SATURDAY, DEOBJfBlBB
MAYOR-ELECT MOORE'S
LETTER
Op-State Politicians Havo Yet to
Learn That. Philadelphia Admin-)
Istratlon Will Not Recog-
nlzo Factions
POLITICIANS aro watching with curious
I - interest the checkerboard as tho game
may be plnvccl liet rafter from Ilatrlsbiirg
and Philadelphia. The Governor has his ear
to the ground nnd travels ocr the stntc
freqiicntl), coming in close touch with public
sentiment He knows the political gnmc
fairly well. The Philadelphia situation,
however, does not seem jet to be thoroughly
understood by tho people up-state. Candi
dates for high places lookiug to Philadelphia
for favor nnd support do not seem to have
fully renlbed the change that has taken place
in the Quaker City. There Is an inclination
to go to old leaders or to jield to their rec
ommendations with regard to appointments
on the rather dubious ground Unit the
"domlnunre" of factions lins not .vet been
idenrh determined. Iu iew of frequent
Htatenients bj the Mnor-olrrt of Philadel
phia that factions will not be toleiated or
i (-cognized, tho doubt of some of the ttatc
'caders is somen liut mjstifying, but it is
believed in due course thon who havo been
accustomed to "go-nlong" methods will
come to a full realization of the truth that
"the old order changcth," and thnt it bus
netually (hanged for all practical purposes.
pRLSIDKNT CALWELL. of the Corn
Ichange lia'i?., who ties up pictty close
to .igridilture, has ilieeoveied that blooded
stock Is hard to get nnd that when cattle
mo offered for vale, which is now rare, the
icdigiced stock is quickly bought up. Every
one will agice that we should have more
cattle, and still more cattle, if the cost of
living is to come down. Our consuming
population seems to bo increasing much
more rapidly than is our edible block. Mr.
Calwcll has an idea thut wc could encourago
cattle raising in the East by an occasional
evhibit of blooded stock, nnd there nre many
otheis who ugree with him.
r"1 II. CARTER, secretary of the National
Association of Hosiery and Underwear
Manufacturers, asks for a laigc hall suit
able for the sixteenth annual convention
and evhibitiou of that bodj. The associa
tion has used tho First Regiment Armorr
and the hall of the Comiiiciciiil Museum",
but is clnmoiing for more room. Tho meet
ings of the nntional association biing many
bujers to tho city nnd thej are undoubtedly
of great commercial value, all of which goes
to show that Philadelphia should have a
big now hall not too big, but big enough
to meet such emergencies as that described
I)) Mi. Carter.
rplIK Stale Highway Department has a way
-L of filling up odd automobile numbers by
assigning them to persons more or less
prominent iu public affairs. It may be a
good thing in more wa.vs than one, since it
is easy to detect car No. 2." or car No. 101
if the driver happens to he cutting up anv
didos. which, of course, he ought not to do
with tho car of any public official. Perhaps
Commissioner Lewis S. Sadler nnd his
motor vehicle force intended bv this method
to pay a compliment and to set an example.
TUinitn is much complaining up in the
-L vicinity of Park uvenuo nnd Olnej ave
nue. Forty-second ward, concerning stiect
improvements. Milk wagons stuck- in the
mud when trying to reach new houses are
said to bo a feature not altogether pleasing
to those who purchased property in this
vicinity . C. IJ. Fcnstermaclier nnd n num
ber of other property owners in the vicinity,
having brought this matter to the atten
tion of the authorities, hope something may
he done A milk wagon stuck in the mud
on n frosty morning is not very helnful in
the matter of babv culture, and the Forty -sreond
warders will probably find some
redress before long.
rpnE Northern Liberties Welfare Workers'
- Association is agitating for a plnvgrouud
in the vicinity of Fifth street nnd Fnirmount
n venue. The Rev. Edwin S. Lane,, of the
social service commission of the diocese of
Pennsylvania, is pressing this matter, along
with other active citizens, including Clinton
Rogers Woodruff, chairman of the commis
sion. On the committee surveying the sit
uation is Mr. Carter, of the Beth Eden
Community House, and Miss Rosenbaum.
of the Northern Liberties Plnyground.
piIARLES'.T. WEISR, the big wool factor,
-' is as well known in Wyoming as he is iu
Philadelphia, and iu Australia as ho is iu
Wj online. We do not nlwajs nnnrecinte
the extent to which the big Philadelnhia
business man is appreciated elsewhere. Con
gressman Frank W. Mondell, the leader of
the House of Representatives, recently stated
that the names of Webb, Grundy nnd Cum
mings were almost household words in his
home state. The Gmndv referred to is
Joseph R. Grundy, of Bristol, who buvs a
great deal of wool in Wyoming, and tho
Cummings is Co'onel J. Howell Cummings,
of the Stetson .Co , whose hats, or rather
sombreros, are quite familiar to the western
people.
THE piesident of the Pennsylvania
Lumbermen's Association this year is
Harry J. Myers, of Bethlehem." Harry
dabbles a little in politics and generally keeps
posted as to what is going on in the state,
and he never lets go the business side of it
and hence is nb'e to talk pol'tics without
' ''ring to secure office. Mr. Myers is one
of the active spirits in the direction of Naz
'iiethiHall Military Acadcniv at Nazareth,
npil he also figures in the big Lincoln Day
celebrations at Bethlehem.
FORREST H. RIORDAN, chairman of the
publicity committee of the South Sixtieth
Street Improvement Association, has let it
be known thnt that association is in favor
of the incoming administration and exneets
to co-operate with it. The association,
which is headed by H. G. Heebncr, presi
dent, renrcsents n big part of the Forty
sixth wnrd, claiming for its boundary lines
the cast side of Fifty-eighth street, west to
Cobbs Creek, .north side Cedar avenfiV and
south to Baltimore avenue. Tt is said that
the members of the association are 00 per
cent owners of property a very good show
ing. DOWN in Washington they have organized
a War Department Co-operative Stores
Association to beat the high cost of living,
'niesp workers in the War Department have
devised a system by which they can dispense
to their members at wholesale prices food,
clothing nnd other necessaries of life. Tho
association has the indorsement of men like
Julius Knhn, rhnirman of the military
affairs committee; P. O. Harris, the.
adiutnnt general; General March, chief of
staff, and Quartermaster General Rotters.
There are 23 000 einnloves in the War De
partment nnd the members of the associa
tion think thnt by drawing this large army
together they can make a big dent in living
costs. Tha plan is something like that of
the celebrated Rochdn'e svstem. which for a
long time has had fontho'd in England.
J. nAMPTON MOORE.
The real sweetness of sugar is with the
seller rather than with the buyer.
A ''-WrstLtoriNCr
THE CHAFFING DISH
To His Brown-Eyed Mistress
Who J'allietl Iltm for Praising Blue Eyes in
His Verses
TF SOMETIMES, in n random phrase
- (For variation in my ditty),
I chance blue eyes, or gray, to praise
And seem to intimate them pretty
IT IS because I do not dare
With too unmixed reiteration
To sing the browner eyes and hair '
That arc my true intoxication.
KNOW, then, that I consider brown
For ladies' ejes, the ouly color;
And deem all other orbs in town
(Compared to yours), opaquei, duller.
I PRAT, perpend, my dearest dear;
While blue-eyed maids the praise were
drinking
How insubstantial was their cheer
It was of yours that I was thinking!
It seems to us perfectly natural and cred
itable that the retiring councilmen should be
eager to take their mahogany desks with
them. Those desks, undoubtedly, are asso
ciated in their minds with the plcasautcst
and easiest job any of them ever had; more
over, like our own cherished rolltop, they
arc probably crammed and pigeoned with all
sorts of neglected correspondence which they
intend, borne day, in the happy leisure of
their old age, to answer.
Certainly, to speak for ourself, we would
rather push the desk home on a tnrrow than
have to answer all the letters in it.
One of the problems that worries the
architect of the projected new building for
this newspaper is what to do about our desK.
We understand that, after one look at it,
ho decided that the only safe way to proceed
would bo to jack up the pile of unanswered
letters and then erect a new building around
them.
If General Pershing goes on eating fried
dried apple pie, tho question of his candidacy
for the presidency will soon be decided.
It is our opinion that the reaily sagacious
man is the one who saves until ftcr the
festival some of those "Don't Open Until
Christmas" seals. He saves them, of course,
to put on tho presents he hastily mails, the
morning after Christmas, to the people he
inadvertently forgot.
And the really base-minded man is the
one who reckons up, on a sheet of paper,
the number of people he forgot who sent
cards to him, and compares it with tho nuiny
ber he sent to those who sent him nothing,
and coucludes that he stands about even.
Many of tho thoroughly well-meaning
schemes of social regeneration puzzle us
grently ; but wo profess ourself even more
than usual nonplussed by a broadside from
Xcniu, Illinois, which has just reached us.
In this it is said, "We holu that tho orderly
evolution of society cau bo secured only by
the abolition of interest."
Testing that doctrine by applying it to n
particular case, ourself, we take the liberty
of observing that nowhere has interest been
more substantially abolished than in our own
case. At the moment wc art somewhat
soiled, to the pure vision of Ufo Xeuia
thinker, by having battened on tho incon
siderable Interest of a few Liberty Bonds;
but there was a time when for several years
we never got near enough nny interest even
to know what it looked like And we do
not remember that this condition mado us
any more gay, innocent or altruistic at heart.
The Xenla enthusiast complains that "In
terest has thrown man on the scrap-heap,"
but we think he is too optimistic. ,
Dovo Dulcet, who is a biraple-minded
thinker, has confided to us that he believes
the Deity to bo a kind of publisher who has
issued the 'universe in tho form of galley
proofs- We are now in the stage of cor
recting the misprints, Dove avers; and he
27, . 1919
THE BACKWARD GLANCE
thinks the page proofs will be along about
the year J5000.
Dovo also maintains that once tho volume
is ready for publication, the publisher will
back it to tho limit with a big advertising
appropriation.
Dove's theory is an interesting one, and if
Dove weren't so 'tedious wc would have liked
to discuss it with him more at length. Wc
did remark, however, that books that arc
published by the nuthor himself larely have
a successful sale and arc usually panned by
the critics.
Looking over our modest reasons for
thankfulness and preparing our spirit for
the bracing discipline of New Year resolu
tions, we are very pleased not to bo the
owner of a railroad that has been two years
under government control.
But as director general of the Urchin's
clock-work train we assert that the success
ful conduct of such a system makes the
trousers very baggy.
Out' in Cincinnati they face the "facts of
modern life with refreshing realism. From
a friend in that city wc got a Christmas card
with' the following sentiment printed on it:
Perchance 'twill Santa somewhat gripe
To crawl in through your flat's steam pipe;
Though modem apartments are minus a flue,
There is no chance that he'll miss you.
Our favorite author, Shepherd M. Dugger,
well understands the effectiveness of alter
nating the sublime and the comic. Students
of literary nrt will note his technique in the
following passage:
Tho beautiful clouds, the ships of tho
etheieal sea, in whose electric bertha tho
Blant thunders were sleeping-, now sailed
only mountain high over the valleys, pre
senting1 a sdi view to the tourists; and, as
they caughv the lays of the sun In their
rigging or allowed his beams to pass
through between them to the beautiful
earth below, tha landscape wasleopardlzed
for miles around with a moving robe of
light and shadow
Just at this instant a buffeting breeze
lifted Skipper's light hat from "his crown
and gave him a lively southward race for
Its recovery, and eveiy time that one of his
big- feet went forward, the heel of the
other flew up behind and hit him on the
hip, while, his great hands were extended
forward In pursuit of tho structure of
cereal straw. The Balsam Groves of
Grandfather Mountain.
The "Balsam Groves" has aroused genial
comment from a number of our gently nur
tured clients, one of whom, Mr. George II.
Mcll, tells us that within sight of Grand
father Mountain, North Caiolioa, is u gen
eral store with tho following sibn :
Terms Strictly Cash.
To trust is to bust; to bust is Hell.
No trust, no bust, no Hell.
Another client says that at the time of
the Centennial, Philadelphia was the birth
place ofa book no less unconsciously amus
ing than the "Balsam Groves." It was
called "The Staple Dell of '70," and our
client sighs to see it again. Does any one
know of a copy?
Social Chat
Tho Rev. Robert Norwood is a keen ad
mirer of the Gumps.
Roy Helton is at work on a poem for the
Dish.
Tomorrow being President Wilson's birth
day, the Dish has scut him a present, but
we doubt whether he will rend it.
If tho back-page Beauty Corner can hold
out for ubout eighteen years Jouger wc have
a daughter who will knock tllcni cold.
A. Edward Newton has collaborated with
James Boswell in writing a little book about
the late Samuel Johnson. 'The lucky pub
lisher of such a pair of sprightly writers is
Mr. R. B. Adam, of Buffalo,
SOCRATES.
THE WELL
TT7ITH osiers straight and long
' Wo stir the water
That slips away
So quietly :
Let us play
That we arc fishcrfolk
And this the Well of Song
Beneath the Scarlet Hazels,
In its shadowed deeps
Fintan tho Salmon sleeps
Like a bright-plumed bird;
Ho will wake, he will rise
At a whispered word,
And we may snare him
Tangled in a net
Cunningly staked and set
And have the world for prize,
Or better, cease to care
For any kingdom there,
Both grown so wise.
Ella Young, in the Nation.
Today's menu : Turkeybone soup.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. When is it proposed to return the rail
roads to tho government?
2. What is the flechc of a church?
Ii. What is the origin of the word chore?
4. Why was tho Bridge of Sighs so called
and where is it?
5. What is the literal meaning of the word
"nee" attached to tho name of a
married woman, as "Mrs. Mary Smith,
nee Jones"?
0. Where are tho Canary islands?
7, Who is the premier of Japan? '
S. What is the mean heat of the human
body?
!). What was the battle of Bennington and
what state celebrates its anniversary
as a legal holiday?
10. What President of the United States
was the longest lived?
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
1. Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" was
ivritten for the Christmas of 113.
2. Tho salary of tho Yico President is
$12,000 a year.
3. Unalasku is one of the largest of the
Aleutian islands, which extend iu a.
chain from the southwest extremity of
Alaska. Its seaport is also called
Unalaska.
1. "The Phjslology of Taste" ("La Phy:
siologio du Gout") was written by
Brlllat-Savarin, a noted French epi
cure and gastronomist, who was also
n writer on other subjects and a jurist
of some repute. His dates aro 1753
1S20. 5. New Orleans was undqr Frpnck do
minion for forty-eight years and under
Spanish for thirty-seven.
C. The Republican Presidents were Abra
ham Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Uljsscs
S. Grant,' Rutherford B, Hayes, James
A. Gnrticld, Chester A. Arthur,
Benjamin Harrison, William Mc
Kinlcy, Theodore Roosevelt and Wil
liam H. Taft.
7. Tho great firo of Rome occurred in the,
reign of the Emperor Nero. ,
8. General Pershing spent his boyhood in
the town of Laclede, Mo.
0. The word arctic is derived from the
Greek "Rrk,tlkos," bcarin allusion to
"Ursa Major,'' the Great Bear, tho
brightest lonstellation of tho. northern
heavens. ,
10. Because' Lady Abtor holds a seat in
Parliament, King Georgo broke prec
edent luopenlng his speech to that
body. The old form of address was J,My
lords and gentlemen of tho House of
Commous." The new revised version
was "My lords and members of the
House of Commous."
y
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