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PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
,Chrl It I.iullnclon Vlcn l'r'M Vnt 1 Mm O.
Hftrtln. Brrpry nn1 Trfurrri 1'hltlp P e'nlllnii.
Jonni D wllllnnn, John J Fpnrp;con, Director
nnrrorttAi, DOAnm
Ctncs 11. K Corns, Chairman
DAVID B. 0MIIJ:T...,.i Editor
JpitN C. MAIITIX .. Oi-iiorainualiiM lliinnjrfr
l'ublltlic.l ilally ut I'irilo I.Uhjiii, rulMliu.
Atiaktio City..
Nsw Ionic ,
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At. Iiiik... ,,
Cuicco
intitpfnuiniQ i.aunre, riintuifinnn
.Imifl hioii lltilMlrur
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"Oil Mr troMlttan lower
7t ronl IliUMIn?
llni CiilCrtnii llnlMInu
. .trilS Tribune nullum
NISWH Ill'ItUAUHi
WjUtllKIITnN lltJIIIMt,
N. I:, rnr. I'uiii-jlwmla Af iinrt I llh SI
Ntir lone lit nmi 'l!i ei I uiMlnr
Losixkn lllrnu Union rimti
. , Hi'nscniPTtov i i:hmm
Th umMvo I'tiiin laiimm l rvil to ""
writ In Philadelphia anl eurroiin4ln;t lowna
at the rnto nf twrlvo (U) lent 11 r wcil. pa alilo
to the rnrrlor. .
Hv mail to point outMo of Vhllo U1rlila In
tho T'nltrl Slatra Cinn.1i. or Unllnl HHtr po
pri.iilr.iih, tMistui.8 frw. nrt Col f uti t r month
Blx ?CI1 itollnra pr- rnr rwjnliln In mlvynr.
To all foreign rcmntrlri on" (Sll loll ir per
Nonet! iilwerllieri wl'hlnc n.Mrem changed
mtut Ble u'J ua Tirll n nriv a Mrca".
BFIL. J10O TlAl.MT KETOM. MAIN" 2000
ET AMrms nil onminuiifrnt nn tn rtrnlvn 'iiWIc
, ilgir. iirlrii. nl u . uw i I'lWi il lyiun
Member of the Associated Press
rnr. Assort ri:n vur.RS exriu-
thrlu rntlilrtl tn the if fnr rcnnbUialian
of all ne-irs ilhpatrhci crcdittd tn it or not
otlwnrhr credited Iv thli P'ljiri , and nlin
the lot nl tint? iiubliahed thcicln
All rltihti nf rcpuhlienttnn nf special dls
patrhci herein nre aim rrtrrt rd
1'hllarlalpliit. 1 rdl.fMla llr'rinl.rr 10 1919
KHAKI AND POLITICS
"DOSSES and job-hounds in politics who
- feel t need of improved intrcnch
ment will dotheiv utmost from now on
to trim their sails to what they vaguely
call soldier sentiment. Khaki will figure
large in 2 goctl ninny elections of the
near future. Men who stayed safely at
home and emerged fiom the war period
without a decent understanding of the
war's causes or purposes will look around
for service men whose names on big or
little tickets might insure victory for the
usual huddle of professional place
holders
Regard for the service man or his work
doesn't figure in the lamentable game.
Ho will be a wise soldier who, when he
runs for office, doesn't lun solely on his
uniform or peimit the debasement of the
service spirit by cliques who seek to use
the symbols cf military service as a
mask for shabby political jobbery.
Somebody in New Jersey actually pro
posed legislation to "insure preference
for honorably discharged soldiers" in
the public service. Since there arc 1G0.Q00
honorably discharged soldiers in the state
and only about 10,000 places which any
of them would wish to hold, the pro
posal is plainly not sincere It is a poli
tician's way of appealing to soldici sen
timent. The Public Service Commission of the
state in opposing, the suggestion ob
serves that "soldiers did not return with
the feeling that they had to be perma
nently subsidized." They did not But
politicians who live by subsidies will
refuse to believe it.
THREE LINES
rpo ALL those who, irritated by sugar
- restrictions, the coal shortage, dimin
ishing train service and the high cost of
Christmas, have yet not lost interest in
the League of Nations a three-line dis
patch from Paris yesterday seemed one
of the most significant of many moons.
Italy, we were informed, has referred the
touchy and dangerous question of
Adriatic settlements and readjustments
to Lloyd George.
A month pgo the Allies by common con
sent were leaving the initiative to Mr.
Wilson whenever Fiumc or other un
pleasant or difficult pioblems demanded
solution or emergency treatment. If
enmities were to be made, if somebody
had to shoulder the sort of blame that is
inevitable in the case of Fiume, for ex
ample, the statesmen in Europe were per
' fectly willing to let America lead. So
the Senate delay, while it may be un
comfortable for the President, is uncom
fortable for others, too.
Mr. Wilson may yet thank Mr. Lodge
if the treaty blockade has served more
evenly to divide the terrific responsibili
ties of peace making among Washing
ton, Paris and London.
REFERRED TO MR. LODGE
"M'OT long ago an army train manned
' entirely by soldiers passed close to
this city on the way to Baltimore. It
was loaded with steel containers filled
with poison gas fifty times ra,oro deadly
than any used in the war. The gas was
an American invention. Americans de
vised an aerial torpedo, a self-directing
airplane, which was intended to drop
projectiles filled with this compound on
enemy cities.
Chemists say that one such shell would
have exterminated the population of
Berlin. If the Germans had used this
gas, instead of explosives, when they
were bombarding Paris, few people would
have been alive in the French capital
after the first shots. The Wrights per
fected the nerial torpedo at Dayton and
a chemist from tho Northwestern Uni
versity compounded the gas. The work
of these men was completed shortly be
fore the armistice was signed. It is too
much to suppose that scientific men in
other countries have been idle.
A great many people are talking of
"the next war." Few of them have any
conception of the means by which it will
be fought.
The containers taken to Baltimore held,
all the new gas made thu3 far. They
were loaded on a ship and sunk some
where in midocean.
NEVER TOO MANY COOKS
NOT all good cooks are good wives, ncr
all good wives good cooks; but be-'
cause everybody will concede that ability
to cook is an excellent thing in a wife
there is cause for gratulation in the
establishment in this city of a new post
graduate school in domestic science.
It Is true that the school is not pri
marily designed for the supplementing of
good wifely qualities; Its ostensible pur
pose is to teach lunch and tearoom man
ferment and medical dietetics; but who
en-wi for ach things as well-laid plans 7
fr"'
i . .
inj-lnlnt b jrtiaoy busmots'-s
EVENING
that women are less desirable than men
as employes for the reason that no
sooner do they become proficient than
they get married. In this particular
Instance the fact, so "far from being a
detriment. Is a positive benefit.
We venture the assertion that the stu
dents who plan, cook and serve monls
in the newly established public dining
rooms will not lack for beaus with de
cidedly serious intentions. In the mntrl
moninl mnrkct they will go like the hot
cakes they know so well how to make
and serve.
CONSIDER PRINCIPLES
BEFORE CANDIDATES
When the Republican Issues Are Framed
They Will Point to the Man
to Head the Ticket
rpiin primary purpose of the meeting
of the National Republican Committee
in Washington today is to select tho place
and date for the meeting of the next
national convention. The forecast this
morning was that Chicago would be the
place and that the opening date would be
Tuesday, June 8.
If this forecast be coricct the signifi
cance of this date is tremendous, for it
indicates a determination on the part of
the leaders to fight nn aggressive battle
next year on the issues already in the
minds of the Republican voters. It has
been the custom for yeais for th party in
contiol of tho presidency to hold its con
vention first and for the party contesting
for- that office to wait until the party in
power had framed its issues and then to
meet them. This happened in 1870, in
1880 "and in 1884 when the Republcans
made their nominations in advance of tho
Democrats. It happened in 1888 when
the Democrats renominated Grover
Cleveland before the Republican conven
tion was held. In 1892 Benjamin Harrison
was renominated two weeks before
Cleveland received his third nomination.
There was an exception to the rule in
1890 when, with a Democratic President,
Major McKinley was nominated in ad
vance of Bryan. But there was a return
to the rule in 1900 and thereafter.
Tho national committee is evidently in
an aggiessive mood. It reflects the mood
of the party for which it speaks. There
will be gossip in Washington today and
tomorrow about possible candidates for
the presidency, but the country is just
now moie interested in piinciplns than in
candidates. When the principles are
formulated the felection of a candidate
to apply them will be easv.
Now what is the big thing about which
every one is thinking in these months
following a war in which we raised the
largest army in our history and sent two
million men across the Atlantic, break
ing all precedents in the military history
of the world?
Wo have discovered that whether we
will or not we cannot isolate ourselves
from what is going on in other nations.
The war in Europe was our war. The
icsues involved in it were issues vital
to our own national life and independence
and self-rcbpect. We fnced them bravely
for two years and did our part heroically
and well. But there has come a reaction
and there are men who want the United
States to withdraw itself into its shell
and let the rest of the world struggle
with the world problems as though they
did not concein us.
But the time when we could do this
passed many years ago We cannot
escape entanglement in world affairs
if we would. Roosevelt saw this during
his presidency and he said time after time
that the United States must play a large
part in the affairs of the world, and
that the only oppoitunity for the exer
cise of our will was in deciding whether
we should play that part nobly or ignobly.
We are confident that the nation as a
whole desires to play its part nobly and
to shoulder all the obligations that par
ticipation in the war has placed upon us
rather than to act the part of a scuttler
and a shirker.
The record of the Republican party
during its more than sixty years of life
qualifies it to lead the nation in adjusting
itself to its large place in the family of
nations. The party has been characterized
frorji the beginning by its ability to per
ceive the problems that must be solved
and by its genius in solving problems
and it has not been handicapped by servile
bondage to any academic formulas or
political doctrines that would hamper it
in its constructive work. No dead hand
has bound it. It has regarded the con
stitution as a living document expanding
with the needs of succeeding generations,
which find in its provisions warrant for
carrying out within the lines of a rep
resentative government the undoubted
will of the majority.
It was not until the leaders of the party
failed to perceive the trend of popular
sentiment and became reactionaries that
serious disaster overtook it in 1912. They
turned their back upon the forward
looking constructive program for which
Roosevelt had been fighting, and as the
inevitable result the party suffered the
most humiliating defeat in American
political history.
The party stands on the threshold of
a great opportunity. Its members are
ready to pass through the door and use
the party as the instrument for carrying
out their will. They can be prevented only
by the blindness of leaders who face the
past instead of the future.
Npt only are the Republican masses
committed to the proposition thnt the
United States must do its full share in the
family of nations, but they desire also that
it apply to the domestic problems the
constructive wisdom which pieserved the
Union, abolished slavery, solved the finan
cial problems of the Civil War by bring
ing about the resumption of specie pay
ments in an incredibly short space of
time and then developed and applied the
policy of protection to native industry
until the nation has become the great
manufacturing center of the world.
The industrial problems which con
front us today require for their solution
the same effective genius that carried the
nation through the forty or fifty years
succeeding the Civil War. The sons of the
men who did this great work are also Re
publicans, heirs of a splendid heritage
nf n, InrinVflCiMiiilft vital in achievement.
1 v "-"! "T 1 -
PUBLig LEDGER
They are going to Insist that their party
turn Its back on tho blunders of the recent
years and tackle tho adjustment of tho
industrial questions and the questions of
foreign trade and domestic commerce in
tho same broad-minded spirit as their
fathers attacked the questions of their
time.
Tho formulation of the issues hns
already begun. The collapse of the Dcmo-
ciatlc party in its handling of the rnil
roads and the telegraph and telephone
lines and in its blundering blindness in
dealing with tho coal nnd the steel strikes
and tho sugar shoitnge Is what was to be
expected from a party which has in mod
ern times shown little nptitude foi effi
cient conduct of national affairs.
Nothing but purblind leadership cpt
pi event the formulation of issues whn
will Inspire every Republican with con
fidence in the mission of his paity in
these critical times. And when the issues
are clearly framed they will point with
an unerring finger to the candiilnto to
lead the Republican hosts to victory
BEHIND CARRANZA
QINCE Mexico is a pressing issue that
seems to grow more complicated nnd
threatening in spite of nnything that can
be done in a spirit of patience and for
bearance at Washington it will be well
for tho people of this country to scruti
nize it calmly. We ought not to permit
ourselves to be deluded by surface evi
dences which never mean much in any
international controversy.
Carranj-a is a vain and visionary old
man. It would be like him to give fui
tive aid to Bolshevists or I. W. W. agents
or any one with wild dreams of revolu
tion in tho United States. Ho gave aid
and comfort to Germans nnd pro-Germans.
Yet he is but an incident in
Mexico. The forces that lie behind him
are permanent nnd far more dangerous
and perhaps even less friendly to the
United States. They are the highly
emotional groups of able, educated and
energetic men who form the background
in Mexico City and do more thnn any
president to inspire the national policy
with relation to foreigners and foreign
interests.
The Mexican intellectuals are a rela
tively small element, but they are all
powerful. They are influenced to a large
degree by Continental education and
training. They have a temperamental
dislike of America. And even the few
sincere patriots among them are im
movable in tho conviction that the United
States has long been determined to seize
large portions of Mexican territoiv.
The Germans moved heaven nnd eaith
to spread that delusion in Mexico during
the years of the war. And certainly some
of the propagandists of intervention in
Washington have done good woik along
similar lines. We have few friends among
Mexican officials. And even the few en
lightened and infibential natives who
really know the United States and its
motives find it impossible to rid them
selves of a belief that we will make a
war of conquest upon them at some time
or other.
The Mexican conference held nt
Atlantic City after the Vera Cruz inci
dent served to reveal the depth of this
feeling. Representing Mexico on that
occasion were many extraordinarily able
men. They were cosmopolitan. They had
honorable careers behind them as bank
ers and railway executives, engineers
nn,l ct,nl Tt, ....,i.i ',. " -..i j I
...... ..... .. ..,, .,, ui cuuiii
assured them, as the other representa
tives of the United States did, thnt we
had no unfair designs on their country
nnd no desire to profit nt its expense.
They smiled cynically nnd changed the
subject. The end of the conference left
Mr. Lane and his associates in despair.
One of the Mexicans was accompanied
by his two daughters. They had been
educated abroad. They were clever and
brilliant nnd, like all Mexican women of
breeding) they were good horsewomen.
Leaving they smiled on one of the mem
bers of tho American delegation with the
utmost friendliness.
"You will not have an easy war," they
snid, "Even the women will fight your
.soldiers. And we will ride with them."
It will he noticed in
Sep Maxim Mnyor-elect Moore's
Concerning letter tenia thnt the
Glass Houses congrcismtn draws at
tention to the fact
thnt whpn Secretnr.v GInss refers to the
intricacies of the revenue hill and its In
volved processes of reaching income nnd
exe ess-profit tnxes he is indlrectl, if uncoil
ciously, reflecting upon the Democratic ad
ministration of which he is n part; for the
Treasury Department Itself, nt the Instance
of Its experts, was responsible for said
intricacies nnd Involutions.
Delegates from Itend-
Towpath of TrogrMS Ing, Pottstnwn nnd
other points In the
Schuylkill canal coal regions, meeting in
Washington as nn auxiliary to the national
wnterways association, are urging the re
opening of the canal between Pottsville nnd
Philadelphia. With resumption of tnifBe by
one and two mulepower boats, possible lack
of train service might prove a shade less
menacing.
Attorney General
Caution the Kennte SchnlTir has urged the
constitution revision
comnilBslon to observe caution. Our guess
is that the admonition w III be heeded j that
proceedings will 1 losely resemble liana An
dersen's duckponil, where something impor
tant appeared to be happening, nnd thnt
nothing will rcallj happen until a constitu
tional convention Is siimrnoned In a conven
tional and constitutional manner.
One of the former kaiser's farms near
Hlvas, Turkc, Is being used by the Allies ns
a pla ground for Armenian orphans, Tls
a little -comfort for them wrung from the
man who caused tin Ir misfortunes.
When Rnnta Clnus visits the House of
the World where Capital and Labor and
Consume nre children let u hope that he'll
put a lot eif (liarlt) In their stockings.
The Bibulous One says onl a sufferer
from aphngla can be ludlfferent to a certain
Important declslou boon to be handed down
by the Supreme Court.
Cravers for alcoholic stimulant who
swallow hair tonic arc doubtless seeking to
revivify the hair of the dog thnt bit them.
Fernet there would be gre.ate calm in
the Contemporary Club If the lemonade jad
HnmlwlfhM came UMt.
PHILADELPHIA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER
MAYOR-ELECT MOORE'S"
LETTER
When Secretary Glass Criticizes,
Revenue QUI Intricacies His Ani
madversions Are Indirectly Aimed
at the Administration
Washington, Dee. 10.
s
Diiiiirtmcnt, In IiIh final report toConcrcss
Klvt-t littl" hope of relief from lienv) nntkmal
Inintl.m fm initnv jears tn crime. He veri
fies wlint Clnude Kltrliln, of North Carolina,
I frijpienth (iintcndeil durlni; the onHitle(n-
tldji nf the grent war levemie bill, tliKt it
wittlil niiilre nt leiit 1,0(10.000,000 -per
nillitim tn meet our expenses, nnd that. the.
ilib Incurred would neic-Bllatc annual In
oret (hnrciH of more thnn SI. 000.000.000
nnd 5.1,000,000,000 inteiest In theKC titne.H
Is 1 iiinl to nil tlic annual expense?) of llic
((ueinmenl prlnr to the wnr The nutottk,
therefore, is not promising, mid lt( pulilienn
l.miler Mnnilcll and Clminiuin Good, of Jhe
nppropiintioDH committee, are taking jtlic
wis nnii-se in iiilinonMilnK CoiiRress "nnd
the people thnt (conomv must he prnctltrd.
Hut there Is MimethlnK ill Secretrrrj'
(Ihss'k repoit ttith referent c to tlic-gmj
lilcutiis of the revenue bill nnd its involved
proeei'es of leuthinK intomc and excess
prolits tntes that might, if one cared trdo
so, he intcrprtttd im a icfkttion upon the
Diimicrntlc administration Of tourse, rt:
retnrv O'nsi, who was icgnrdei! n it
retMiimliH K.tne ltgislntor, Iind no intPiiirto
nvohe the udmluistrntioii Hut in fulrites"
to (lie Hi piih'.icanK who litlpctl to fnuncthc
icvenue hill, and who in conference Imhulul
St nattii l'inrose. Senator Lodge, Mr. 1'ord
ne, of Michigan, nnd the Muvor-tlteP of
I'lili ulelpl In, It Hhouhl he recalled that llie.v
pointed out the embarrassment that uas
ilKdv to urUi' from tre.tsur.v interpn tntTons
of "edentific" parnglnphs of thu b!llj -
Jn fairness tven to the hading Dunocrajs
in conference, including Senator Simmons
lyid Mr Kitchin, it should be mW. thattlic
Tritrsurj Department itself, nt the InsttJncc
offls experts, was responsible for tho form
11s. well ns the substance of muny ofthe
troublesome ftatures of the measure. Sec
retnr) McAdoo Kurrounded himself with able
men, some of them pretlj strong in the. ilsc
of language nnd mighty clever nt calculation,
who said the proposalx emanating from "Hie
Trcusurj Department would work out. So
it is not surprising to members of the
finance committee of the Semite, 01 the vvajs
and means comntlttie of the IIoue, that
thej nil did not work out ns expected ,
pOMiUESS mil 'he obliged ultiniatdvt to
take n hand in the Delawaic river briilge
question The Wnr Dipiitiuent icrtnhih
will, ns the proposed stiudurc may affect
navigation The bridge plnimirs, however,
spun to hnvc the national situation fnfUj
vwll in hand and when (loverno Sproul and
his tonfrcres get into nction it in more
thnn likih the govcrnmtnt, bailing the
question of expense, ma lintl . its aid.
Meanwhile, the mntter of locating the ap
proaches to the bridge is undir discussion
'the odtgning Mnvm of Philadelphia,
Thomas It Smith, and Architect John 'T.
Wirnlrlm, in a leport to Governor Brum
baugh favored a southern terminnl, the en
tram e tn which would he ppmewherc in the
vidnit of Washington Square. Alfred
Vs. Hurk, president of the Manufai turcrs'
Club, one of the commissioners along with
Mnvnr Smith and Mi. Windrim, favored
ltnte street for several reasons, one of width
involved the question nf expense. Other
bridge pininntrrs have been tnlking Spring
Garden street with the suggestion thnt that
thoroughfare could be mails n fine approach
to the Park. The 1'li K. Price suggestinns
hnve been made public nnd former State
Treasurer John O. Shcatz comes a!ongwit4i
nlmiK nionnilnir tn save tho henvv tntt'nt
condemnation all the wnv back to Fifth hc
Ut IK Ll.fMll Kt I..1 nn.kmn.l. rt f n.wl tn a a,n
"'"" """ D " apprnat a extending :nn
further west thnn Second street on Market
so conM I lifted ns to enable trafhe to piss
over Mnrket strict tn the bridge level on
three rising turns so graded as to accom
modate vehicular traffic. Governor Sproul
has called n meeting of the Penns lvijiia
eomntisslonc rs, when some of these questions
will he considered, T
pvANIHL CRAWFORD, Jr , who is fnfrly
.representative nf the operative builders
of-IIhllnilelphia and who hns been conferring
with others equally interested in the housing
pr'flblem, insists thnt Philadelphia's Increas
ing population could be accommodated if Ihe
cit.v could bring its sewage and other facili
ties up to date.
Mr. Crnwfnrel thinks the Legislature
should provide fur some method by which
necessary Improvements cnuld proceeePin
anticipation, or through the builders them
selves nfTcring indemnity. 'T
Meanwhile, Secrctnr John Ihlder, nfthe
Philadelphia Hnuing Association, bollntTic
housing problem down to two phases J J3at,
a lack of dwellings to accommodate oufflft
creased population and to replace worlpnlt
buildings, and second, deterioration of exjst
Ing dwellings. Apparently there is work
ahead for those who desire to meet the needs
of our increasing population.
GLHNN C. MKAD, the eloquent .and
ancient Rntnrlan Glenn stuck tn it until
he got to the top of the heap is wmc
traveler. Like Theodore Justice, Gefirge
Wcntworth Cair, Dr. W. W. Keen, 1 1nilnas
Knebtirn White. Dr. Jtidon Dalnnd nrSl. a
few other Philndelphlans who go on tours
for health, recreation, business, or vthat
not, the assistant eitv solicitor was fnr.jfnr
away when registration time came. Like
a good citizen he made the jump SOO&jnllos
from California to get in bis vote." ; .
nd one vote sometimes determines Kfejnt
sjirs these clnys. It was a majoilttr "of
omevote that threw the majoralty of-the
city of Charleston into the Supreme Cmirt
of the state. another Illustration of tho
importance of the individual In any contest
if the Individual will milv realize how im
portant a factor he Is. (
TIIH president of the Business Men's As
Hociation of Gcrmuntown this ear Is
Colonel Slicldoi Potter, once ellrettor of
public safet, 11 jw president of the Chellen
Trtit Co. And its special representative In
Washington for all festive occasions Is
Congressman George Potter Darrow, who Is
a director of the trust company of vyhjch
the colonel Is president. Neither the t-plo-nel
nor the congri ssmau has any apnleigips
to innne iur irtriiiuiiiimn or me lUISIOess
Men's Association. The colonel insists Jbnt
the population of the Tn cut -second ward
has now reached 100,000 and that the
volume! of business there has grown to the
proportions of a city of the third cfuss.
Congressman Simeon D. Fcsh nnd Secretary
Carter Glass, of the Treisury Department,
who hnvet been up to Germantowu on speak.
Ing engagements arc Inclined to think the
colonel is right.
TnB Leonard Wood (League Is one ofthe
new political activities which arc said to
be expanding throughout the rountr.
Former Commissioner Harry L. West, ofiJhc
District of Columbia, who was associated
with the national surety league during yhe
war, lias takea charge of the Wood league
work, and It Is presumed that we will lienor a
great deal about it frprn now on. .
h 3, HA'MITON MOOllIi.
,1
yrr
THE CHAFFING DISH
What Every Woman Knows
TIID shopping damozel looked dowu
On a bargain-counter heaven:
Her bag was henv.v with the weight
Of gifts for Christinas liven;
She hnd three bundles in her hand,
And the names on her list were seven
IT WAS the subwny mcz7aninc
That she was standing on,
Herseemed she scarce had been n day.
Albeit ten hours were done;
The lights thrilled toward her, circlcwise,
Each like a fretful bun.
AROt'VD her, shnppcrs, newly met.
With sudden, loud acclaims,
Spoke evermore among themselves
Of just-remembered names:
Wrought garlands stirred continually,
Like green and crimson flames.
HK1
'I
KB steps still sought the portals of
The lift, for downward flight;
In the sheer gulf below, she saw,
Beyond deep wells of light,
Gents' furnishings, in circling charm,
'Mid dummies clothed in white.
"I
WISH his gift were come to me,"
Her voice was hushed and slow:
"Not endless unity of Micks,
Hut some new thing to know
Occult, withheld, 1 find it not
Seeking it high and low.
t(fS OTIIEItS have 1 meetly fixed:
v Uncle, nnd Cousin Fan, s-
And the five rclntives, whose names
M shopping list began
Kmil, Albert, Mnrguerlte,
Henry, and Mary Ann."
I HEARD her moan. Rut soon her path
Was vague in distant aisles,
Where the clear-ranged, unnumbered ties
Shone In fierce rainbow stjlcs,
And then, half-romforted, she paused
And bought. (I saw her Bmiles.)
COUINXi: ROCKWELL SWAIN.
We regard tho above as the best parody
the Dish has been honored with In the
course of its existence. We wish we might
hear from Mrs. Swain more often.
Every philosopher welcomes a chance to
have his creed tested b misfortune par
ticularly by the misfortunes of his friends.
- ,
Democracy, observed some powerful
thinker, tends to bring life to n dend level
of mediocrity, Wo recent! had a chance
to confirm this doctrine Our friend the
Quizcelltor began treating himself to n very
fine brand of mellow, expensive nnd richly
flavored tobacco. But It was not long before
his colleagues smelt the difference, nnd as he
moved among his encyclopedias nnd statis
tical almnnnes they noted the rich bine
trail of aroma that fumed from his pipe.
Naturally, this being a democratic office, they
began to use bis pouch rather than their
own reel and green tins. It was not long
before the learued Qulx found hlrrisclf com
pelled to return to the general snioke-stuH
of IiIb colleagues. Thus, by the sound In
btlntt of the Demos, nn man who seeks to
raise himself above his fellows Is promptly
penalized.
There Is only one way, in a democratic
community, In which nn upper social stratum
tan be preserved permanently wltnout tiau
gcrous upheaval. Tho only chance for the
Quizcelltor to have continued to smoke that
alluringly fragrant and opulent blend would
have been If there had grown up n lower
order of smokers, a kind oi villein class, who
had been so long sunk in degradation and
bitter shag mixtures that their palates re
fused to respond to the delights of t)ie more
aristocratic fumigation. Our friend Demos
thenes McGinnls, for Instance, hns smoked
his violent nnd cruel mixture mi long that
nothing else contents him. The QuIzedltor'B
handsome leather pouch offered no tempta
tion to him. I'nfortitnntely for the luxurious
G;ulz, his other colleagues were not so bard
Md la apslby.
10,
1919
"00 OOH, BOY, JUST S'POSE
J.
Man, born free, wild old Jack Rousseau, is
ever where in ihnlns. The pciils of New
York life seem to have cnused the islanders
in the Hudson river to nsort to shirts of
mail. For vvc saw in a window of the Hotel
Pcnn.sjhanla a sign sning Cham Shiil Stop
inJ open here thortly.
G. K. Chesterton once lemarked that
George Bernard Shaw was probably the only
living man who hnd never wiitten n poem.
After n visit to the movies vvc can add an
other name, viz., Burton Holmes, who wrjtcs
rhjnied captions foe- his travel films
The 8am Browne Watch Chain
Wc are never able to understand how it is
that some ambitious oung incii tuo able to
wear their watch chains dlngonall ncross
their waistcoats, running from the upper
pocket on one side to the lower one on the
other finnk. Wc have occasionnlh experi
mented in this wav, but our watch chain
will not reach. Is this only possible for
those who are concave below the collarbone,
or does It require a specially long hawser?
Page the Art Jury
T. N. T., one of our watchful clients, has
spotted the following ad:
you salt:
A masterpiece oil painting, 24 by C5, of
the V. It It, and Glrard Avenue Bridges
nnd beautiful surroundings $175, Watson's
Cafe.
And T. N. T. suggests, In that brutal way
of his, wouldn't the back of the canvas make
a lovel movie screen?
Wc inquired about Dr. Berthold Rner, the
raplclly-becomiiig-wcll-known mortunr cs-.
snIst, and have received two lively replies.
One asserts tersely thnt when he lived in
Philadelphia the Doc was a scream. The
other Is more cruel to all concerned. Wc
arc told, by our friendly client James D.
Law:
In many ways ho resembled yourself
so far as I can judge, never having1 seen
OU
.
Doctor Baer, who is now putting New
York In on uproar by his little cssns in
honor of a Manhattan undertaker, edited a
sprightly little German paper In this town.
a dozen ears ago. J J was called Die
Glockc" (The Bell), nnd carried on its front
cover a picture of the Liberty Hell. But we
notice a letter the Doe printed, to one of
his subscribers who hnd signed himself "Wil
liam S." "Why," grieved the Doc, In
good German, "do you call ourseIf Ml'il.
Iiaia'f Doesn't 'Wxlhelm' sound good enough?
Wonderful bow qulckl people get Ameiicnn-
ized."
On learning that the Doc is a German we
understand more tie ail his enthusiasm for
funerals, For' certainly Germany has been
the cause of more of them In tho last few
cars than any nation ever was before.
Natural Anxiety
Tress reports concerning tho recent Car-j)eiitler-Ili:kett
disaster state that English
men In Paris Bang "God Save tho King" after
learning that tho Frenchman had knocked
out his English opponent. Wo didn't even
know that George had challenged tho winner
of the bout ALI 1IA1IA.
When Colonel Houso writes his auto
biography wc hope be will call it "Tho Good
Listener, or vild 'lnlkorn I Have Known,"
Wo hopu that Dorothy Glsh will get back
to the locnl screen soon, because fas we have
said before) our loyalty Is being put to severe
tests. iAVc have Just seen Helenu Chadwlck
In "An Adventure In Hearts," and if wo
were a movie netrcss that's what we'd like
to look like. We particularly fancy ourself
In the situation when Miss Chndwick realizes
that she Is In negligee and there Is that big
boob looking at her. If wo weren't sur
rounded by editorial writers and qulzedltors
nnd other stern but far from silent men we'd
get up aud practice Miss Chad wick's siiddvu
shrinkage wis very moment.
BOPItATBS
7,-'j;,,..3,U . &..&& M
?J
NOW tw
Al
&Xu
(From ihe Chineic)
T HAVE bidden my little boat among thc.
river grasses ;
It Js dusk and the stars arc out.
Mv boat rocks qiiictl on the grav vtfaters
That the rising moon spangles with 'Silver.,
The wild duck seeks her nest and the trout
lc aps no more.
I nm alone with the night about me,
Sorrow in my heart. The cool wind "
Touches my temples with phantom kisses,
O Sister Moon, you do not bring comfort
to mc, waiting;
Now I think only of lost loves,
And old memories nnd old regrets
Troop like snd ghosts before me, peering into
ni eyes. The Nation.
The confidence with which politician?
have fixed on .Tunc 8 nnd Chicago as the time
nnd place of the next Republican conven
tion suggests the possibility thnt some of
them have nlrcady made their reservations
Pullman, hotel, interpretative and othcr
w isc.
Pittsburgh smoke has tnken on prls
mntic hues in II. C. Frlck's gift to New
York.
Meanwhile the treaty patiently awaits,
the bound judgment of a soniferous Senate.'
The voice of America is now raised inc
the clarion call, "Dig coal !" '
What Do You Know?''
QUIZ i
Who is Captain Ross Smith and upon,
what novel exploit has ho engaged?
What commission Is to consider Ger
many's responsibility for tho Scapi"
Vlnw fccnttlinir?
3, In what century did St.
4AKHllit live?
Francis
t
of.
4. What is the meaning of the title of the
opera "Cavalleria Ilusticana"?
5. Who was General John IJurgoyne?
0. Whcro is Cape Fear?
7. What noted American painter has just
died?
8. What celebrated Roman writer was the
author of a treatise, on old ago?
0. What is cassia?
10. What is a steppe?
Answers to Yesterday's Quit
1 Aldcrney cows take their namo fronj
tho British island of Aldcrney, one o'
tho Channel Islands long famous for
their breed ot cattle.
2. The Uattlo nt Salamls was fought be J
tween tho Greeks and Persians.
3. The engagement was fought in Jhe bay
between Salamls and Attica, Greece
180 1J. O. Themistoclcs was the Greek,
commander.
4 An ethnographer is a specialist in the
scientific study of the races of men.
C Tho United States Supreme Court can
annul nn net of Congress after It has
Kanmnn nnortl tl w
""'" - tii, t .,
U Tim Hcapa 1'iovv ueet was scumca oy "
the Germans on Juno 21, 1010, t j
1. The word mamma is derived from Nora
inaii-rrcnch and the word mother
from Anglo-Saxon, (
8. tf'Cinque Cento" is on epithet applied
to art between tho years luOO and 4,
1000. Literally It Is Italian for five
hundred, but the phraso is a contract "
tlon of "mil cinquo cento," Incanlof' I
fifteen hundred, "
0, "Cicerone" should be pronounced a '
though It were Bpellcd "chcc-cha-io?
ua." The word now ineans a guide.
It alludes to tho loquacious Cicero, the
Roman orator.
r l t r m
K V 1 Mi
v. hm
ON THE RIVER
10. According to the Mohammedans tiff IAr tA
bidden fruit of the Garden ofJCds
watbo banana. f '
MA
M
'.t
V
-H.