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-VEN-ft? PUBLIC LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, SATURDAY, HOYlJMBER 29, 1919
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John, D. WIUiam. John J. 6purson, Director.
. EDITORIAL UOAltDt
Cues II, It Ciratis. Chalrmin
DAVID B. SMILEY Editor
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I'hlUdelpliU, filutil.y, NoTembrr 29, 1919
SNIPING THE CHARTER
rpiIE chargesof Director Gruenbcrg, of
the Bureau of Municipal Research,
that officials of the present city -administration
are making n deliberate at
tempt to discredit the new charter dc
eerve serious attention.
Mr. Grucnberg is an expert in munic
ipal affairs. He is familiar with tho
provisions of the charter, with the fram
ing of which he, had much to do, and he
ia interested solely in tho efficient con
duct of public Business. So, when he
cays that tho men commissioned by law
to carry out the provisions of the char
ter are seeking to make it appear that
they cannot be carried out without pro
ducing serious complications, it is up to
those men to clear their skirls.
Controller Walton has declined to issue
warrants for subway work on the ground
that the recently authorized loan was
pronounced by the couits to be illegal,
and thus it became imp6ssiblc to raise
the money to pay the warrants.
As a matter of fact, only a small
amount of the loan was illegal. It was
that, part which was to be used for cur
rent expenses. The city can borrow the
money for all the other contemplated
purposes, including payment for tran
sit work. Arrangements are now in proc
ess for borrowing the money, and it
will be available in th- mar lucre. Yet
tho conroller, instead of making ar
rangements with the contractors for a
little delay in pamcnt, makes a formal
announcement that the city hi. no money
and cannot pay it; transi creditors be
cause of the clfarter provisions.
Tho officials who are making up the
budget for next ynr are encaged in
Bimilar attacks upon the charter by their
failure to make adequate provision to
carry on the various dcparfmentj as thev
wm De reorganised TiiPir lust esti-
L mates would have provided money
enough to last net wore than nine
months. When tho money was ex
hausted it could have been said that the
new charter compe'led tho expenditure
of so much money that the sums
which the city used to find adequate
were not sufficient. We should have been
told that not only was the charter a
failure but that the new administration
had found itself incompetent.
So long, however, as there are coura
geous men who know the truth it will
not be possible to put this sort of thing
over. The responsibility for providing
money enough to run the city next year
Is up to the present administration, even
to the extent of providing for an in
crease in the tax rate to cover the def
icits that have accumulatedi during its
conduct of public business. J
The men who fought theaSarter while
it was in the Legislatm-ond objected
to its many beneficent rjjovisions are
still hostile to it. One hasjf inly to listen
to their conversation in 'private to bo
assured of this. They will continue their
sniping tactics in the hope thai, they can
discredit it and every one who had any
connection with it.
COLD COMFORT FOR SPOILSMEN
CANDIDATES for positions in the
classified service in the City Hall are
astounded when Mayor-elect Moore tells
them that they should see the Civil Serv
ice Commission and not him. He will
fill the exempt positions, but the others
must Le filled from an ejigible list.
Thus does he throw a bomb into tho
ranks of the place hunters. And at tho
same time he escapes responsibility for
the disappointment of innumerable am
bitions. Under the charter the Civil Service
Commission has responsible duties.
There has been a suspicion in the past
that it has been used to whip the devil
of spoils around the stump of a farcical
examination and bring about the ap
pointment of the man the politicians had
selected. There is hope that in tho fu
I ture it may enforce the law in spirit as
'well as in letter and bring to naught
tho plans of the spoilsmen.
LADY ASTOR, M. P.
T ADY ASTOR'S campaign for entry
"Into legislative halls abroad won far
more attention than did Jeannette Ran
kin's progress toward Congress in our
own country. Arguing by analogy, it
may then perhaps be inferred that the
resourceful Anglo-American peeress will
fee in the House of Commons a factor
of more moment than the lady from
Montana was in the House of Repre
sentatives. On this subject nobody can really
prophesy with safety. Those who re
reed their Trollope will recall the great
figure which Phineas Finn intended to
cut in Parliament and the insignificance
which finally 6nuffed him out On the
other hand Disraeli, with his passionate
Tho time will como when you will hear
mei" presents another side of tho pic
ture and is pot fiction but fact,
i ThU much, however, Is sure. Lady
Astor proved a brilliant and earnest
campaigner. She will be the first wo
man to enter Parliament. That fact
alono makes history and is nn index of
the remarkable political changes of the
day.
Her recent endeavors have commanded
the world's attention. There is a chance
that tho Commons, notwithstanding tho
dislocation of precedent, may be com
pelled to heed her.
Woman suffrage has virtually won its
case. "Stateswomanship" is on trial
now. As represented by Lady Astor
it has tho best wishes of all persons
capable of rememboring that the globe
spins on.
LET GOVERNMENT MINE FOR
FACTS IN SOFT-COAL FIELDS
Federal Interference Should De Prelim
inary to a Sweeping Survey In
the National Interest
TT IS regrettable that the government
has had to resume control in tho soft
coal industry. Federnl interference in
volvos responsibilities for which there
is now no adequate machinery at Wash
ington. It implies that the miners or
the operators or both have been unfair,
leckless and blind to considerations of
justice in all their recent deliberations.
Yet thero was no other way out of
tho deadlock. And if there Is to bo gov
ernment regulation thero ought to bo
government regulation. The approach
of the cabinet and Doctor Garfield to tho
newer policy is hesitating and half
I'carted. For that reason alone it is dis
quieting. Their program is obviously
uncertain. Definitenoss of aim nnd ef
fort and quick and certain action are
the great needs of the moment.
Tho miners' refusal to accept, under a
government decree, a wago increase less
than that which tho operators themselves
proposed, can easily bo understood. Men
cannot be forced to work, and thero is
a suggestion of valid and hidden griev
ances in the voluntary and spontaneous
refusal of miners everywhere to return
'to work.
Union leaders and operators are alike
fond of citing specific instances of Gain
ing power and woiking conditions to
prove the logic of their claims. But
the country is beginning to feel th;t in
dividual cases prove little and that there
is something fundamentally wrong in
the coal fields which only a general and
impartial survey, made in the national
interest, can reveal and remedy.
If, therefore, government interference
in this instance carries the assurance
for the miners that their claims will be
considered in detail; that thero will bo
a new beginning, and that wage scales
and working conditions will finally be
revised and improved on a just basis,
irrespective of present estimates, the
newer plan should cause a prompt re
sumption of operations at the soft-coal
mines. If, on the other hand, Doctor
Garfield hopes to force his own terms on
the men without any further general
consideration of the claims still in dis
pute, he will fail. And ho will fail mis
erably. It is becoming clear that there is
more to tho toft-coal controversy than
wage rates. Mr. McAdoo and Secretary
Wilson, of tho Department of Labor;
Doctor Garfield and tho other members
of the President's cabinet are men who
might be expected to view the wage
question impartially. They seem utterly
nimble to agree on the rights and wrongs
of the present strike. How, then, can
the miners and the operators, whose
lives are bound up in the coal industry
and affected by it in a thousand ways,
be expected to reach agreements uni
versally satisfactory?
The fact seems to bo that only the
surface of the question has been touched.
The way to settlements does not lie
through casual government interference
in a crisis like this. It cannot be reached
with the aid of troops alone or by any
method of coercion.
A vivid clue which indicated the state
of mind of the strikers was given by
one of th" union leaders, who complained
bitterly that Doctor Garfield is substi
tuting academic estimates for a sense of
justice.
It is possible to interpret that charge
in the light of contentions advanced by
Mr. Lewis at one of the recent confer
ences. He, like other representatives
of tho miners, objected to the system
under which the soft-coal operators have
been pooling their interests and concen
trating productive effort in one or an
other field while leaving other regions
to fa.ee long periods of uncertainty and
enforced idleness.
There is nothing sinister in tho de
sire of coal operators so to arrange their
business as to save unnecessary ship
ping costs, especially when the with
drawal of wartime control has revived
strong competition among various fields.
And yet it is apparent that the habit is
one certain to confuse existence for vast
numbers of workers in many areas as
the henvy demand for coal shifts from
ono point to another.
Unle-s there can be such control or
systematization in the coal industry as
will insure reasonably steady work for
'miners and freedom from the stresses
of competitive schemes with which they
have nothing to do, there will be no per
manent peace in the coal fields and no
assurance of maximum production.
There is an impression in the mind of
the country that coal costs enough in
every retail market to provide n fair
late of wages to all miners and fair re
turns on all capital invested in the busi
ness. Unquestionably that general as
sumption will be justified by the facts
if they are ever brought to light.
Government interference in the pres
ent case, therefore, ought to be merely
the preliminary to a sweeping investiga
tion and a sweeping report of a sort
that will give the public the information
it needs. Thi3 method of dealing with
a complication that has got beyond con
trol of those who are now running the
soft-coal fields ought to enlist the im
mediate attention of Congress on Mon
day. Congress is likely to be shy of the
question. It didn't help Mr. Roosevelt
In tho anthracite crisis of 1002. It hung
back and left the President to tako the
risks and faco the music. Mr. Wilson
can expect to find this bame, spiritual
aloofness in the House and Senate. He
can force tho coal crisis to the attention
of Congress, however, nnd ho can com
pel a showdown at least.
Tho present situation justifies such
action. Normally tho government has
no moral or legal right to interfere in
formally with the operation of pri
vately conducted industries. That is not
what tho government is for. The sort
of control which Mr. Garfield proposes,
therefore, should be scientific, "construc
tive and inspired by a sense of justice
and a regard solely for national wel
fare if it is to bo justified at all, oven
in a ciisis like the one which now con
fronts the country. Temporary or inci
dental meddling will do more harm than
good.
The public pays and it Is paying high.
It is tired of controversies and tiled
of talk.
It wants to know what is the matter
with the coal business and it wants jus
tice done to the miners. It has no de
sire to despoil investors of any legiti
mate right, nor does it grudge them a
fair return on their money.
Every conventional method has failed
to prevent upheavals and interruptions
in the mining industry. The time has
come when surface remedies seem worth
less. Wo ought to got to the root of tho
trouble nnd examine it.
MEXICAN MYSTERIES
rpHE imprisonment of Consular Agent
Jenkins in Puebla, tho execution of
General Angeles and tho report of a
revolution in Mexico City are porten
tously timed. Tho sequence of events,
however, and the relations of cause and
effect are still obscure. The State De
partment thickens the mystery by a si
lence in Washington which El Paso le
fuses to imitate, since it is that border
city which acquaints the public with
both tho text of tho peremptory Ameri
can note and with the Carranza Govern
ment's reply concerning Jenkins. Tho
American note is translated from the
Spanish!
Under such circumstances it is not
easy to fix values in the controversy.
Unless a full disclosure of the facts is
made not from a rumor hot-bed on the
Rio Grande, but from the national capital,
American opinion on the Jenkins case
is inevitably confused.
To defend Jenkins if ho has been a
lawbreaker is sheer jingoism. To aban
don him if ho is an innocent victim is
to make a tiavesty of the national honor
and dignity and tho elemental princi
ples of justice. Public enlightenment
is imperatively needed.
Thero is, of course, n possibility that
the administration has knowledge of
facts that may soon change the whole
complexion of tho situation and that, in
accordance with thespre-Adamite diplo
matic code, it has deliberately chosen
to be enigmatic until a cardinal and ef
fective play can be made. Certainly
there seems to be no question that the
shooting of Angeles has mado in Mexico
a deep impression, of which reaction
against Carranza highhandedness may
be the consequence,
Tyrunny has a tendency to show off at
tho moment when it begins to realize
that its regime may fail. Witness 'the
execution of the Duke d'Enghicn by Na
poleon. At the peak of his popularity
the emperor would never have committed
that blunder. As it was, the date of tho
act marked a date in his decline.
For some months it has been clear that
in certain essential particulars Cafranza
has not been his own master in Mexico.
He has declined re-election an unprec
edented performance in the southern
republic, unless under pressure. Prom
inent civilians and army officers are said
to be leagued together into a. powerful
cabal, under the terms of what is known,
with Hispanic irony, as a "gentleman's
agreement."
Unquestionably, politics in Mexico is
at the boiling point The traditional
next move is revolution. If Obregon,
who recently announced his candidacy
for tho presidency, has really taken up
arms, his enmity must -have been fore
seen by Carranza, whoso answer was
the intimidation policy exemplified by
the fate of Angeles at Chihuahua.
Washington refuses to be surprised
by the latest revolt rumor.'1 Its attitude
of omniscience may resemble that of tho
doctor playing safe with his conven
tional "As I thought," or it may result
from inquiry, of which the nation is
kept in ignorance.
With every fact in hand the Mexican
problem would be tragically baffling.
Sooner or later, however, a start toward
solving it must be made. Frankness
and resolute, candid policies are the
prime necessities.
The covering method, either with re
gard to a representative in trouble, a
traveler waylaid or a revolution in fo
ment, leads nowhere.
A more or less careful
Scant Praise at That analysis of legislative
bodies here nnd abroad
tempts us to the conjecture that Lady Astor
will considerably more tliau meet the intel
lectual average of the members of tho British
House of Commons.
The Bureau of Municipal Research says
that Mayor Smith in passing the buck in
the preparing of the 1020 budget missed an
opportunity to rehabilitate his administra
tion In tho public eye. But perhaps the
.Mayor realized that rehabilitation is n
bigger job than the bureau imagined.
As art instance of unnecessary labor, Mr,
Grucnbcrg cites the case of City Controller
Walton, alleged to be framing a picture of
Philadelphia broke with $17,000,000 cash in
bank.
The Young Lady Next Door But One
surmises that "Content Examinations" are
designed to separate the optimists from the
pessimists,
If AedVs Atropalpus were opening a new
plioe-BhluIng parlor he couldn't complain of
the free, advertising he is getting.
If the aerial fox hunters can't get a
fox they might compromise on a flying
squirrel.
Passing the buck seems to be the favor
ite Indoor sport of city official. 4
MAYOR-ELECT MOORE'S
LETTER
Presidential Politics Seen In McAdoo'a
Attempt to Blanket Palmer by
Talking About Coal Prices
While Palmer Is Strug.
gllng With Food
Prices
THE smartest man In Wilson's cabinet was
McAdoo. Of southern origin (like the
President) he studied law and engineering,
lashed into New York with n great scheme
for tunneling the rh'cr and made a go of it.
Forging nlirnd In the metropolis in flounce
nnd politics, he llnnlly landed in tho Presi
dent's cabinet at, secretary of the treasury.
Then he married the President's daughter.
AVhenvthc European war broke out McAdoo
was easily the premier of the administration.
The big things were referred to him nnd his
power increased. Before congressional com
mittees he was the administration's ablest
spokesman, always amiable, always forward
looking nnd never lacking originality.
Whether tho transaction Involved $100,000,
000 or ?S,000,000.0()0, it made no differ
ence, the thing lintl to he done and the money
would be forthcoming. He wus always con
fident, nhn& bonyant, always ready with
mi nnswei" Sometimes somebody would sug
gest to the versatile secretary that ho was
tiding for the presidency or for a full, but
that did not worry the becretary. To be
a candidate for President under existing
conditions would be unthinkable, he vvould
f.a. Then came rumors that the White
House was a little envious of the son-in-law,
or thnt the financial responsibilities had
piled so liigli ns to make a continuance In
office tiubrnratilo. The While House rumors
wen; denied and were the others, but
eventually tho secretary resigned and the
big job wus put on the shoulders of Carter
(Jlass, of. Virginia, who has since been
promised relief to become United States
senator.
"HVDn a moment we may pause to contcm-
plate tho vigorous cx-sccrctary In his
various poses since- quitting the treasury
"resuming the prnctlee of tho law" for in
stance, or championing the movies and
figuring ns attorney for the Mary Pickfords
and the Charlie Chapllns. All good stuff
and sufficient to keep one's mind employed
while overlooking the presidential situation.
Hut and here's a suggestion for the wide
nwnkc movie skctchist enter Mitchell
Palmer! Modestly at first us the ulleu
property custodian, collertiug ?1, 000,000,
000 worth of German holdings, which in
cidentally connected him with the banks
nnd bankers throughout the United States,
to say nothing of the mjriad attorneys,
agents nnd directors appointed by him;
second, n little more conspicuous as attor
ney genernl of the United States, champion
ing tho cause of law and order; puttiug down
Bolshevists and the like, nnd becoming a
household word on the excellent politico
economic topic of the high cost of sugar
and so forth ; nnd third, in consequence of
the foregoing, insidious reports that the
snge of Stroudsburg might become tho ad
ministration choice for the Democratic
nomination to succeed Mr. Wilson.
Is it any wonder Mr. McAdoo's facile
mind reverts to those Internal revenue
reports which he had well in hand before
leaving the treasury? Is Palmer to get
away with the trick on sugar when coal is
so high' What does Palmer know about
the profits of the coal barons, and if he does
know, being a Pciinsylvanian, where some
of those 200 to 1000 per cent profits referred
to by Mr. McAdoo wore supposed to have
been made, would ho care to use. the In
formation as campaign material?
Having thus introduced the plot and the
star performers, "may we not" suggest ns a
title for tho play "Sugar or Coal"?
rpiinnn is nothing mean about Miss Mary
-L B. l'eirce, the businesblikc daughter of
tho lute Thomas Muy Peirce. As the head
of a large Philadelphia educational estab
lishment she goes after the biggest men In
the country when commencement day rolls
around, and these commencements come along
with such studied legularity that Miss
Peirce has become quite a figuro in Wash
ington, where the big orators are supposed
to nbound. Her latest excursion led her to
Massachusetts in quest of the governor who
is now being tnlked about for President.
Miss Peirce usually fortifies herself with
letters of introduction and then argues It
cut at first hand with the senator or gov
ernor, or whoever it may be. She has had
Presidents come to Philadelphia and to that
extent is a real city boomer.
"PATRONS of the stage are gencrully
- touched In more ways than ono when tho
cry goes up for funds for the destitute actor.
They know the actor is not a saving man,
and being an artist and highly tempera
mental, does not know much about money.
Therefore, appeals for help for tho disabled
and for the aged nnd inflrm are generally
responded to liberally. Daniel Frohmau is
the president of the national Memorial Day
to collect for the Actors' Fund of America,
but when the call is sounded In a city like
Philadelphia, it is generally up to men like
E. T. Stotcsbu.-y to put It Into operation.
Mr. Stotesbury has taken up the work this
year and around him has gathered one ot
the strongest committees that could be
named. Governor Sproul's is tho first name
on it and of course it includes Edwurd W.
Hok, Colonel J. Howell Cummings, Alba b!
Johnson, Arthur H. Lea, Joseph E. Wld
euer nnd men of that type.
plLLY ROPER, one of the new Council
D of twenty-one, who has been giving close
attention to Princeton football for the last
few weeks, has readied Boston. The new
councilman is studying conditions in other
cities. He says wc are living In an age
chnrged with dynamics and that most any.
thing can be expected, but thnt the best
thing to do in a city like Philadelphia is
to save money by eliminating waste. The
councilman was once in the customs service
whore ho tried to put this Idea Into execu
tion. Ha will have a fine chance to help out
when the new Council gets under way.
WHAT is it all nbout? Governor Sproul
is already on the hustings doing double
time us n speechmakcr and he gets better
ns he goes ilong. Some peoplo suspect the
Governor has something in his mind
although the Governor states frankly that
he considers it a duty not only to get in
touch with the people, but to keep posted
as to their needs. But Lieutenant Governor
Beldlcmnn nnd Auditor General Snyder
thcro's tho rub! For high-grade oratory
they are In constant demand, and generally
amenable to persuasion. They say nothing
for themselves, but some people say that If
Governor Sproul should be looking for some
higher station the trimming of Attorney
General Pnlmcr ns a presidential candidate,
for instance they would bo willing that is
Beidleman or Snyder would bo willing to
tako the Governor's place. It Is curious how
these notions get about, but they do obtain
a foothold. J. HAMPTON MOORB.
y
ML? "II iil-TiN' -r' r
. - J f
THE CHAFFING DISH
To a Burlesque Soubrette
UPSTAGE the great high-shnftcd beefy
choir
Squawked in 2000 watts of ornuge glare
You came, and impudent and deuce-may-care
Danced where the gutter flamed with foot
light fire.
Flung from the roof, spots red and yellow.,
burned
And followed you. The blatant brassy
clang
Of instruments drowned cut the words you
sang,
But goldcnly you capered, twirled and turned.
Boyish and slender, child-limbed, quick and
proud,
A sprite of irresistible disdain,
Fair as a jonquil in an April rain,
You seemed too sweet an imp for that dull
crowd.
And then, behind the scenes, I heard you say,
"O Qaxcd, I sure caught some cold yetter
dayl" We are beginning to get agitated over the
question of what we shall give ourself for a
Christmas present. When wc were young
wo were carefully taught that whenever we
found anything wo particularly wanted for
ourself wo should give it to some one else.
This low-spirited doctrine has spoiled many
Christmas seasons for us. This year wo are
not going to allow it to interfere with our
"happiness, and we have decided to go ahead
with our private ambition, which is to framo
nnd hang over our rolltop Bill Sykes's origi
nal cartoon of Walt Whitman which he gavo
us last spring.
Another Christmas present we aro going
to give ourself is the re-rending of tho
Jungle Books, which wo esteem ns not very
fur from being the grentest thing of their
kind in the English language.
Wc arc sorry to have to report that in
spite of all our agitation against the white
margins that tailors sometimes put insldo
vests, the Quizeditor is wearing one. That
puts him la the same class as Blasco Ibanez
and George Creel, wc fancy. Wo also havjj
a suspicion that James M. Beck wears one.
Fraternal Hymns of Hate
The Quizeditor is a mnn we detest :
He wears white margins on his vest.
Now that the football season comes to an
end, college professors will have to work
harder thnn ever to try to keep their classes
amused.
Jovial Jim Bennett, who Is very busy these
days superintending the translation of Car
dinal Mercier's memoirs, confides to us that
the telegraph operators think he has gon
into the sub-appareling business. For, says
Jim, the monks in England who are doing
the translating of the Cardinal's book keep
on cabling him portions of the text, In
which Baron von dcr Goltz and Baron von
der Lanckcn are frequently mentioned. And
the monks, quite Innocently, abbreviate these
Huns as 11. V. D, Goltz and B. V. D.
Lanckcn.
There is so mucn talk about releasing
Gene Debs from quod that a 'headline the
other day led us to believe it bad been done.
It went thus: 9
DEBS TO" DANCE WITH PRINCE
Congratulations!
Our client Ann Dante came in to see us
on Thanksgiving Day, and jve asked her, in
our genial fashion, what she had to be
thankful for.
Ann spoke up briskly and replied that her
chief reason for gratitude is thnt her recently
acquired husband Is not a "regular feller,"
a "live wire" nor a "real guy."
Our idea of thereally Indolent man is the
one who waits by the revolving door until
some one else comes along to start it going.
HASH
j-
J"
TiML AFTP-
intri.A.sT TWO
EH, 0UPPY?
April
SHEILA, Sheila, Sheila I Sure 'tis I
thnt's calling.
Calling down the evening winds from the
hills of France,
Asking are the April eves still at dusk's blue
falling
Filled with stiver shadows in a moonlit
dance?
Do the little crickets still bravely make their
singing
Thousand little happy voices blended In a
note,
Softly, keenly, down the meadows their stout
hearts outflinglng
Joy of living anthemed through a single
throat?
Drifts the honcysucklo still sweetly from the
hollow
As when wars were stories and your lips
clung to mine?
Thinking even long ago of bitter -days to
follow,
Bravest little soldier, brave eyes all a,-shlne!
Lest they should forget mo tell the April
singers,
Tell it to the river fields nnd the river foam
So that they shall welcome me, nnd while
April lingers
I shnll come to Sheila love, glad to be at
home.
ALEC B. STEVENSON,
Clermont-Ferrand, France, March, 1019.
The average man doesn't like to hear him
self, referred to bo often as a "consumer."
Every time ho hears that word he begins to
feel uneasy in the region of the right-hand
trouscr pocket.
H
Moonlight
rpHE moon was a slender sickle on the first
afternoon that I came,
When it grew to a lover's half-shilling you
ventured my Christian name.
As the full moon bound the St. Lawrence
with a deep broad girdle of gold,
On an evening quiet as folded wings I guessed
your new secret untold.
The quarter was just at Its turning when
you stole a caress like a breeze
That rustled shy kisses as gently it slipped on
its round through the trees'.
As tho second quarter was waning our time
became treasure to spend,
And we flirted, still clinging to freedom, both
knowing how matters must end.
So did the old moon, for It left us. As it
rises to watch in tho dawn,
It chuckles and tells tho stars over love-
talcs of the days that arc gone.
PnOEBE HOFFMAN.
It Has Happened to Us Also
Dear Socrates When wo were In London
we told our landlady ot our cousins who live
in Ohio. t
"Is that how you say It, now?" she ex
claimed. "The last gentleman I knew who
came from there called it Iowa."
CECELIA.
Cccclin, who seems to be a young lady of
lively wits, adds a remark for Rollo's benefit.
She says the real advantage of tho side-door
car is that while you cannot get out without
paying your own carfare, you can often es
cape without paying the other fellow's.
We aro rather sorry Lady Astor won her
seat in Parliament. We had been watching
the lady's line'of chatter, nnd had just about
dctermlned-to Invite her to become a con
tributor to the Chaffing Dish.
We have traveled between Philadelphia
and New York as often as most people, and
we have hardly ever dono so without won
derlng why it is that the express trains that
are said to be '.'For Manhattan Transfer and
New York only" always stop at Trenton,
Princeton Junction and Newark.
SOCRATES
CONVENlEtiT SM-.T6r-
s
"NAVY
TINSEL
T USED to think the world to be
A tinsel ball of revelry.
A place of joy and happiness
Where one might laugh with carelessness
A world that flung its night away
And bnly tolerated day.
Within whose arms the harshest voice
Was soft and sweet as though by choice.
I quite forgot a tinsel ball
Is crushed ns if 'twero not at all!
Oliver Jenkins, in the Boston Transcript.
A "low form of profiteering" is how ths
internal revenuo department describes the
work of ticket speculators at tho football
game. Which goes to show that there are
some federal agents with a pretty gift for
felicitous characterization.
"It is time to call a spade a spado,"
declared Farrlngton to Garfield. But the
public is anxious that it be called a coal
shovel and be put to work.
Peace based upon Garfield's fourteen,
points apparently has no attraction for the
miners.
Defeat having opened, her eyes, Bul
garia had no difficulty In finding the dotted
line.
W-al Do You Know?
QUIZ
In what part of Mexico Is Puebla, where
Consular Agent Jenkins was im
prisoned? Who was the first American woman to
become a concert violinist?
yX yF o jC-i
wh ML
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' --ry(iS
ii! fsfiituiiHSxj333&a
?r !0ySU
Who is "Pussyfoot" Johnson? L I
the Allies at Neullly. Where is this
town?
Who coined the word "Chinaficatlon"
nnd what does It mean?
What is feldspar?
Who was the American commander at
the battle of Bunker Hill?
What non-Christian religion forbids the
use of alcoholic liquors?
Who was the Greek god of the ses?
What was the War of Jenkins's Ear?
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
The Monroe Doctrine received its name
from statements in President Monroe's
annual message to Congress in De
cember, 1823, at the period of a sus
pected concert of the powers in the
Holy Alliance to interfere in Spanish
America.
Khartum is a city in Nubia: (Egyptian
Sudan), situated at the junction of
tho White Nile and the Blue Nile.
The naval battle of Jutland was fought'
between tho English and German fleets
on May 31, 1010. "
Bayard Taylor wrote "The Story of
Kennett." .
The feminine of the word executors
executrix.
Rattan : Kinds of East Indian climbing
- palm, with long, thin, many-jointed
pliable stems. Pieces of the r&ttaa
stems are used in cane seats.
Napoleon blamed his failure to win, the
battle of Waterloo partly on the slow
ness of Marshal Grouchy, who failed
to come up with his troops in time.
"Sordamentc," a term used in music,
means in a muffled manner.
In the coinage of Italy 100 centesiml
make a lira. The par value of a llrs
is about nineteen American cents,
, Justices of the United States Suprwae
Court are appolncd for life.
B
B-
A
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