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EVENING PUBLIC LEDGEK PHILADELPHIA, TUESDAY V HO V-EMBEft i, 199
K
tfyenmjg $Jublic 2fc&gec
PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
. CTnUB H. K. Ct'IlTIfl, 1'nrsmKNT
..Chstln U. I.udlnirton. VIcb Prrnlih-ni Jnhn C
rlln, BrrrctnTY nl Treanurrr, Phlllii H fnllln.
John D, Williams, John J. Epurgcon, Directors.
KDlfOlllATT IIOAHll:T
Cnc II. If. Cct.tis, C'ValriiiAH
.DAVID E. SMILKV rMllor
f
JOHN C. MAIITIN.... General limine Manager
rubl!hrl daily at I'liiiio I.raiorn ltullillnc.
inucnrnucnce square, rnuHticirnm,
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NEWS IIUIICAUS:
wnnixoTo.v ninr'f,
N. K, Cor. Pcnnthanla -ie. ami Htli Ht.
Jsnw York nrimiu T'.ie Kim ItutMlnir
LOMKJ.f Uoctc IonJon riMi
SUDKCniPTlON TUIXJIS
The Eiiwivo Pi'iiTic L.EIX.C1. Is nerved to pub
eerltiera In l'hllartlth'a and rurroumllnff towni
nt tha rata of twelio (12) tents ier Meeli, pnjablo
to the carrier.
By malt tn point onWUo of TMilla.lelj.hlii In
tha united States. Canada, or I'nllrt State poi
r?KSlon. pontafro free, flits' (."01 rcnta ler month
tilx (III) dollars per yet r. nnynblo In advance.
To all forelcn countries one ($1) dollar per
NoTirr SuWrlber wWilne address changed
must elve old ns well as new a 'dress,
BELL. 5000 WALNUT KKYsTOM MIV 3000
tty Address all oommvnieattona to limlntt 1'iWto
Lcdffcr, Imlipcmlmca Square, VUUcilelplii.
Member of the Associated Press
Tim ASBOCIATllV PltnSS U crrhi
Dtvclv entitled to the usa for republication
of all lines dispatches erected to It or not
otherwise credited In Hilt paper, and also
the local firire puhllxhcd therein.
All rlijhti of tepuhllentliin ol special dis
patches herein arc also reserved.
l'hihdrlphla, Tucvlo)", in rml.fr 1, 1911
SLACKERS ALL
-rpiIE man who wants Kood, clean cun
, duct of the city's u'lfairs, but who
fails to vote in the election today, is just
as completely n slacker as the army draft
dodger.
The man v. ho L tuo indolent or too
disinturi-'Mtcd to take the trouble of cast
ing u ballot and thinUs to ecuso himself
by remembering that he oted "right" in
the primary election in September is in
exactly the tame category.
The man who refuses to vote on the
ground that the light is a struggle be
tween factions cannot hope to e.-cape the
same epithet.
They are all slackers, and their neigh
bors ought to tell them so.
It is not neaily so culpable for a man
.J to vote wrong as not to vote nt all. Ho
may be a grouch, ho may be laboring
under delusions, ho may be just a plain
fool or he may have a selfish, sordid in
terest in voting wrong. That is his privi
lege. But the man who does not vote at all
when he is able to do so is recreant to
that thing which we all talked about and
venerated in exalted language duruig the
war democracy.
Now, neighbors, look around and spot
the vote slackers today!
SPEAKING OF JAYS
STREETS are old. They were one of
the first of human inventions. It is
odd to think that a lot of time and money
still must be expended in teaching peqple
how to cross them.
The fact is that men and women and
children who.trip off the curb in the mid
dle of a block for the journey to the oppo
site side of the street cling to old ways.
jr They like to feel that life is as simple and
safe as it used to be. It isn t. All the
world is trying, to make itself safe
against its own inventions. The jay
walker, so called, is just a little behind
the procession.
By a jay, we may suppose, the propa
gandists of safe crossings mean one who
is unsophisticated and, so to speak, green.
It may be admitted that some of tho.e
who risk their lives in the heavy traffic
are green if you are as willing to admit
that a disagreeable minority of those. who
drive motor vehicles are, let us say, yel-.
low. A few of them have abominable
manners.
Jaywalkers, after all, are dangerous
only to themselves. Jaydrivers are dan
gerous to others, and that is why there
are too many accidents at crossings as
well as midway in the blocks.
Of course, the jaywalker will reform
'and cross sensibly under the protection
of the traffic policeman. Then Tet us
begin with the jaytalker a much more
regrettable phenomenon apparent in art,
politics, literature, science and public
affairs.
THEY WANT MORE WORK
nnHE request of certain workmen em---
ployed by the Bethlehem Steel Co.
that they be permitted to work ten hours
a day instead of eight wins instant atten
tion because it is so very unusual. More
over, it is in striking contrast to the ac
tion, 'of tr miners, who want a thirty
hour week and are now working not
at all.
The trades union idea lias always been
that the fewer hours men work the more
men will be employed. Whatever justifi
cation for the idea there has been in the
past, there is none today. The world
needs all the work possible from all men.
It is because the world is being denied
in its hour of need that public sentiment
is against the present miners' strike.
.Public sentiment is not particularly con
cerned with the rights or wrongs of the'
controversy. If the operators have cur
tailed production, as Mr. Gompers alleges,
they deserve condemnation and punish
ment But two wrongs don't make a
right; and it is impossible to give sym
pathy to one of two brothers fighting on
the river bank while a third drowns.
The workmen in the Bethlehem Steel
plant have their eyes on the man in the
river. They are going to pull him out
'with the rope of production.
Theirs is an example all labor might
well follow. It will bo lime enough to
o ijettle differences when the world is safe.
THE INEXHAUSTIBLE PURSE
IT ISN'T easy to brag about the United
States. The inhibition is not the re
sult of modesty. There are public speak
ers and individual citizens, too, who cer
tainly do their best to vaunt the merits
' of "God's country." Among foreigners
' our reputation for boasting is unenvia
, ble.
And yet the difficulty of overstating
8 the natural und inexhaustible wealth of
ihto.nation is truly formidable. The gov-
' fjeptftent last Saturday opened to pros-
Motors 18,000 acres of land in Arizona
IiUn W'njsrvntipns. The region is said
' to bo especially rich in gold and copper.
Five thousand Tcxnns, Arizonans and
New Mexicans rushed in. The situation
recalled the breakneck settlement of
Oklahoma.
There has been an imprcssifin that such
days had gone by and that once opulent
Uncle Sam had disgorged virtually all of
his treasures.
,11c has not. Thousands of federally
owned acres ate still promise-crammed.
There are veritable empires within this
republic still to be developed. Tile end
of such scenes as were enacted in Tono
pah some years ngo nnd in the hinterland
of Holbrook and Gallup the other day is
not yet.
When they recur they arc enough to
make the most fulsome platform orator
register himself as u conservative..
PUBLIC BUSINESS
AS A PRIVATE AFFAIR
City Sinking Fund Commission Persists
In Its Policy of Ignoring. Requests
for Information
rpiIE last paragraph of the letter by
Director Giucnberg, of the Bureau of
Municipal Research, to the Sinking Fund
Commissioners challenges the commis
sioners to take the public into their con
fidence. Their attitude in the past has
been that what they did was none of the
public's business. Here is what Director
Gruenberg wrote:
T'ei.iiil ui lo vtiirtf, i luitlier lli.it .m
oiwn ipply to lliis open letter InforminB
tin- public o the sU'Ijm tuKen .mil tlie steps
iiintemplnteil In your lioily in this mat
ter will be a liighlv alualile contribution
to the effective democracy that the new
charter seeltH to mlinlice.
After reading the letter und conferring
with Mayor Smith, Controller Walton an
nounced tliat the commissioners would
have nothing to sa on the subject.
This h:is been their consistent attitudo
for years. They have made their annual
estimates of the amounts required to
meet the annual nteds of the sinking
fund, but those estimates have been too
large. The ta.paycrs have been burdened
with charge-, not properly levied upon
them, It has been said that these excess
charges have amounted in some years to
as much as ten cents in the tax rate.
In 1910 it was discove.ed that the com
missioners had accumulated a large sur
plus'. This was disclosed in its report.
It was compelled to use that surplus for
the relief of the taxpayers. It did so
reluctantly.
Then the commisiiuiei3 at once
changed the form of their report, so that
since then it has been difficult to learn
the exact status of the funds in their
contiol. Councils in 1917 asked for defi
nite information on various matters, but
the commissioners have ignored that re
quest to the present day and have not
deigned to supply the body to which by
law it is directed to make reports with
the facts which it sought.
There is lenson to believe that out of
the payments to the sinking fund in ex
cess of the annual lequirements there is
now in the hands of the commissioners at
least $4,000,000. Its existence is said to
have been concealed by bookkeeping
methods and the commissioners are dumb
when they are questioned about it. Their
announced intention to ignoie the com
munication from the Bureau of Municipal
Research is characteristic.
The new chaitor contains provisions
intended to refoim the processes of the
commissioners and ultimately to abolish
the sinking fund entirely. This fund, as
every one knows, is accumulated for the
purpose of paying city bonds as they
mature. The moneys in it are used to
buy the bonds. The money -appropriated
by the city to meet the interest on the
debt is paid over to the commissioners.
They in turn hand it over to the city's
fiscal agent, who distributes it- among
the bondholders, including the Sinking
Fund Commission.
The commission now holds nearly $30,
000,000 of city bonds, paid for out of the
tax levy, on which the city continues to
pay interest to itself. Under a proper
system of financing about two-thirds of
this amount could be canceled at once,
relieving the city of the interest charges
and easing the tax burdens on every one.
The city is in the condition of a busi
ness man who has floated negotiable
notes and finds himself with money with
which to buy them in the open market.
But when the business man buys his note
he tears it up and stops paying interest
on it. The city, however, buys its own
bonds and continues paying interest to
itself on them till their maturity.
The abuses from which the city is now
suffering have grown up under the sink
ing fund system, a system necessary
when long-term bonds are issued. Cer
tain sums have been appropriated each
year to provide money with which to pay
the bonds when they fell due, so thnt in
ten or fifteen or twenty years the bonds
could be retired without putting an enor
mous sum in the annual budget. The
finance sections of the new charter have
been drafted in accordance with the
theory that serial bonds are better than
long-term bonds.
Now, serial bonds are like installment
mortgages, payable a little at a time.
For example, if the city wishes to borrow
$30,000,000 for thirty years, under the
serial plan it would issue the bonds in
thirty series of $1,000,000 for each scries,
the first of the series to run for one
year, the second for two years and so on
until the thirtieth, which would run for
thirty years. An annual appropriation
of $1,000,000 a year, plus the constantly
decreasing interest charge, would wipe
out the debt by the tirne the last install
ment fell due and it would save to the
taxpayers a largo sum in interest.
The new charter docs not directly com
mand this system to be adopted, but its
provisions, for the disposal of the bonds
held by the sinking fund commissioners,
are sucn tnai u woum do so mucn more
expedient to adopt it than to continue the
present system that reasonable men can
not well .refrain from accepting it.
It would simplify municipal bookkeep
ing; it would make it impossible to jugglo
with the accounts in a way to conceal
from the public the real state of affairs.
It would muke it impossible for the city
to pell to bankers a new issue of bonds
nnd thpn for the Sinking Fund Commis
si T
1 sloners to pay a commission to brokers to
buy from the successful bidder the very
bonds which had been issued a few days
earlier. And, above all, it would be in
the interest of economy.
If the Sinking Fund Commissioners
persist in their determination to ignore
Director Gruenberg's pertinent commu
nication it is likely that the director wi'l
address the same letter to the new com
mission which will be in charge after the
inauguration of the new Mayor in Jan
uary. The Mayor is an cx-ofllcio mem
ber of the commission.
Congressman Moore has announced
that he will enforce the provisions of the
new charter in the spirit in which they
were written. He cannot keep this prom
ise and ignore the sections of that docu
ment to which Director Gruenberg has
called attention. If he finds the other
two members of the commission deter
mined to continue their old policy, and if
he has a new Council in sympathy with
him, the new Mayor can find n way to
get a Sinking Fund Commission that will
respect the charter.
DEATH-TRAP CROSSINGS
"NJEIGHBORHOOD tics are strong in
- Philadelphia and by reason of them
the Clarksboro tragedy takes on a pecu
liar poignancy. The disaster is a cruel
and shocking blow, which will leave
for many a year its dark impress on the
particular community in Kensington
whence all the victims were drawn.
The inquest will set forth the con
ventional succession of bitter "ifs." They
will not repair wrung hearts, but they will
be worth proclamation if they prompt
action against the venerable but still
potent perils of grade crossings.
It is a prevalent impression that the
abolition of such death traps in New Jer
sey would be particularly costly and
would in this level region necessitate vir
tually the reconstruction of most of the
railways. If viaducts or tunnels fur
nished the sole solution of the problem
the obligation would indeed assume for
midable proportions. But relaying the
surface lines is not the only remedy.
Much may be accomplished by the
right sort of picketing at the danger
areas and by the use of safety gatos so
designed as to be something more than
mere theoretical barriers. Continental
Europe is well supplied with grade
crossing safeguards which really do halt
the highway traffic when it should be
stopped.
The elaborate fencelike gates employed
in hill-less Flanders are unremittingly
tended. They protect the rashest indi
viduals aimost as well as would a bridge
over a cut or a drive through an em
bankment. The topography of South
Jersey uocs not, therefore, render the
situation incapable of reform, save at
prodigious cost. If we cannot yet, in all
parts of the country, imitate England,
where level crossings are reduced to an
inconsiderable minimum, we can at least
follow the vyise example set on so many
of the flat stretches of land on the Conti
nent. It is vain repetition to point to the
Clarksboro shambles simply as a "warn
ing." The inevitable "ifs" will some day
be brought again into tragic play unless
tai.gible reiorms are adopted. Crossings
of the Clarksboro type, with no gates
whatever, are murderous archaisms.
FINISH THE JOB!
rpHERE is one way in which the voters
who nominated Mr. Mooro may yet
see most of their efforts and hopes
wasted. They can permit the capture of
the new Council by men who still aim to
tie the hands of the new Mayor, to frus
trate his plans and to defeat the city's
hope for clean and modern government.
The job is only half done.
Finish it!
The president judge of the Municipal
Court advocates the establishment of a poor
man's court, where justice may be dispensed,
like salvation, free. This is iii line with
the FUKRChtion recently made in a. bulletin
issued by the Carnegie Foundation, and the
idea should not bo permitted to languish.
Hats off to Mr. Feelian ! He hod the
nerve to stand up for the I'nitrtl States
Government against the council of the Itcds
that dominated the Pittsburgh meeting of
the Pennsylvania State Federation of Ln
bor. And sooner or later the rank and file
will have the nerve to back him up.
"Festering Bolshevik architecture" is
the way Philadelphia's skyline was do
scribed by a speaker at a recent meeting
of the T-Hquare Club. By which we may
judge, taking into account the tempcra
mcntalism of the artist, that ho considers
it not exactly as it should be.
Senator Jones urges the establishment
of a new merchant marine corporation with
headquarters in Philadelphia. The senator
shows appreciation of the prophecy of Prof.
Liuigi Luiggi that this city is destined to be
the principal port of the country.
Bobbing Peter to pay Paul ia-comes sim
ple arithmetic compared to the municipal
custom of causing Peter to draw on Peter
to pay Peter and then nlloiving Peter to
remain unpaid.
Governor Sproul shows .wisdom in ap
parently ignoring the statc-widc-Btrlke
threat. Hut he'll doubtless he ready to cross
that bridge if it is ever reached.
What the government is lighting is not
labor unionism but radicalism. It is a fight
between democracy and revolution.
The action of Bethlehem steel workmen
in demanding a ten;hour day instead of
eight shines like a good deed in a naughty
world.
Gompers declares that capital plotted
strikes, and admits that "labor fell for it."
The suffering public is more interested in
some way of ending them.
It is to be hoped that the neiv Indus
trial conference will stress the Industry and
elide the con.
It has aforetime been noted, and recent
arrests may hear it out, that the Incarcerated
Bed loses color.
The proposed new Industrial conference
will be able to profit by the mistakes of the
old oue.
Trlends of liberty everywhere have
their eyes fixed on Massachusetts today.
"oal breakers ahead J
THE HABIT OF BROWSING
Writer Finds It Commendable and
Helpful and a College Library
Makes Excellent Pasture
lly JOSKPII M. 1H5ATTY, ,IIt.
T ItKMKMIIKU very distinctly with what
delight I used to spend hours in the
college library during my undergraduate
days, with no other object In icv than
that of making chance acquaintances with
hooks. That Mas the period before my zest
la the discovery of an ancient leather-bound
volume with gilt letters had been dulled by
the so-called critical point of view, n devel
opment not undesirable in itself, but one
thnt takes away the pristine glory of n
ast collection of miscellaneous writings.
Nou, J Hud myself inadvertently rushing
through a book at lightning speed to sec
Whether It contains the particular Informa
tion for which 1 am seeking; In the old
days, I would browse to my heart's con
tent, nnd would care but little if I passed
two or three hours of nn afternoon delving
into the works of somu quaint rimctcr
whose poems have not found thyir May Into
modern anthologies.
Till! hiibit of browsing is, indeed, n
supreme voyage of adventure torthemnn
Mho Is just Making to the Immensity of
the bod) of literature, nnd is trying to find
himself in the thoughts of past nnd present.
I- hae often thought thnt tho Baconians
luiic nut an understanding of the lino nrt
of brow sins Mhich Shakespeare, must have
had to such perfection. ' Imagine, dear
c.Miic, with what eager eyes the player
poet must have turned for the first time
the pages of N'orth and" llolinshcd, tiiink
with what discernment his mind caught the
significant detail. Xo scholar he, with
thick -lensed spectacles unseeing in the
world, and no mere memorizcr either but
n fine brave fellow who skimmed his books
and let his imagination make them lire.
Keats, too, must have been a prince of
browsers, else had ho never looked into
Chapman's Homer, and the world had been
the poorer. Aud surely tho model for all
the craft must be forever the beloved
It. I. S. with his love of romance and his
omnipresent notebook.
OXK of my chief avocations in mj college
days was the study of genealogy, in which
I was aided nnd abetted by two nged aiiuls.
It was not strange, therefore, that occa
slonally I turned to certain collections of
lives of eminent Americans and Englishmen
in the hope of preening my plumes of vanity
by gloating over the famous deeds of some
long-deceased ancestor. There was one
mnn in particular who fired my imagination,
a distinguished soldier and statesman of six
hundred years ago, who stood nt the top
of one ancestral line. I would read of his
exploits, nnd muse half-pit) ingly upon the
fate of those less fortunate men who did
not have as an ancestor a friend nnd coun
selor of Chaucer's king. My roommate
continually boasted thnt his ancestors hud
come oier on the Ma)Hower; since none of
mine had had to leave England at that
time, I was forced to depend for my repartee
upon my ancestor of Edward's reign, beside
whom any passenger in 1(120 wns a mere
parvenu. Unfortunately, I decided in nn
evil moment to write a complete life of my
noted forebear. The first fact that I dis
covered was that he did not leave any
descendants I
T HAVE always found the winter the best
- season for browsing, because, unless one is
in just the proper poise between physical
laziness and mental alertness, and unless
the atmosphere outKide urges one to remain
within doors, it is difficult lo enjoy this
gentle nrt to the full. In the fall we were
busy getting under way we had the stress
of new courses, the delight of new friends,
the rush of the thousand duties thr.t mark
the beginning of a college year. But by
December, the football season had ended,
Thanksgiving had passed, nnd the first
snow had sifted lightly across the soccer
fiild.
rplIEN tho library found its own. I used to
sit through the long winter nfternoons
in one of the small alcoves, on the one side
a window looking out over the campus; he
hind me nnd in front were book shelves
reaching up to a height of eight feet or
more. Here I needed scarcely to move in
order to reach the treasures that were mine
for vthe moving of an arm : Chaucer, Villon
thnt beloved vagabond whose rimes were
wrought of gold Kit Marlowe and Tom
Nash with his marvelous refrain ;
I am sick, I must die,
Lord have mercy on us.
There, too, I discovered Herrick and wrote
lyrics In which I tried to catch his mugic,
but in vain. Keats nnd Shelh'y, Browning
and Swinburne were in the poetry corner,
nnd ns I plunged from them further and
further into the mountain land of Carlyle,
I became in turn hero-worshiper nnd In
articulate poet. I think it was in my
sophomore year that I reveled in . Omar
Khayyam, and decided thnt Christian opti
mism wns largely n pleasing delusion. I was
reading ravenously nnd uncritically; I tried
to assimilate Whitman and Emerson, aud
did not know whether to be a disciple of the
great Gray Poet or of the transcendental
Brahmin. This was the golden age of im
pressionism. IT WAS on n late afternoon when I was a
freshman that I had my first long talk
with the great scholar whose magic had
lured me to follow in his path hack to the
golden land of high romance, the paradise
of the singer of songs. I had snt spell
bound in his classes, listening to his wealth
of learning, carried away by his stnlwart
viking personality. But until then I had
worshiped afar off.
I was curled up in my favorite place that
afternoon, reading of Robin Hood and Lit
tle Jnhn, when the great man, in search of
a book, came into my alcove. 1 ean see
him still, with his steely mustache
whitened still more bv the snow, nnd Ids
bushy brow under which shone the kind
liest of eyes. He spoke to me, and fresh
man ns I was, I summoned up courage to
ask him a question on the ballads I
was reading I forget tho question it was
probably some simple query such ns a
fledgling would ask, yet the great man snt
down, nnd before I knew it I wns pouring
out to him nil the hopes nnd ambitions he
had inspired in me. I forget much of his
advice, but some of it dealt with wide read
ing und this very subject of browsing which
he considered one of. the most essential ele
ments in the training of a lover of litera
ture. I hove never kuown a mini who com
bined so well the characteristics of a
scholar and a litterateur which he portrayed
to me thut afternoon the need for ac
curacy, for wide reading, and for a sym
pathy with the great minds of all time.
From that afternoon dated a friendship
that has only recently ceased to be.
For those library wnlls will never again
resoundto his quick tread, and his former
students ran never again have the benefit
of his words of counsel which had never
failed them. I visited the college last Juno
just after the great man had been laid
away in the quiet graveyard near the old
mcetlng-house, and so deeply had he bullded
himself into the very buildings and the. In
stitutions of the placo that sitting in the
library I could not help looking out half
Vxpcctnnt ncroas the greensward, to see his
stalwart forip appear beneath tho elms. "
"LET'S
THE SAUCEPAN
At Sixth and Chestnut
A'
T SIXTH and Chestnut when the day
Grinds out its many duties,
Aud work forhlds the mind to stray
In search of Nature's beauties
Romance seems far enough away
From Sixth and Chestnut.
And yet upon a ccrtnin morn
When all the world was youthful,
A glorious band, a hope forlorn,
Spake words courageous, truthful,
And straightway Liberty was born
At Sixth nnd Chestnut.
At Sixth and Chestnut there's no dearth
Of sweet romance. 'Tis coming
In guise of glory, grief or mirth
With news the wires are humming
From nil four corners of Ihc earth
To Sixth and Chestnut!
HINTS FOR YELLOW JOURNALISTS
Jotc ro Write an Editorial
Tirst get 'your facts coffined and hearsed,
then bury and forget 'cm.
Give the people what they want. Give
cm JAZZ.
Play up patriotism. When people en
thuse they forget to think.
Wave the starry flag. No one can guess
what is going on behind it.
Remember always that those who agree
with you arc saints ; and those who disagree
with you arc cutthroats, thieves and
WORSE. , , ,
And whenever you have anything to say
that is particularly commonplaco nnd banal
PLAY IT UP IN LARGE CAPS.
(Example)
SPEED.
Speed is the most desirable thing in the
W THE WOULD HATES A SLOW TOKR.
The slow poke Is usually a counterfeiter
nnd a wife -beater. ,.
Better be a BABBIT than a SLOTH.
Work fast, eat fast, live fast, speak fast
nnd bo ever ready to say tit thing thnt seems
to be lu what you call your mind.
Don't wait to have something to say be
fore tnlkiug or writing. Such a rulo may
condemn you to silence or rob you of the
joys of writers' cramp.
Say something! Be something! Have
pep !
ZIPPY !
Entries In a Frayed Notebook
It s.trlkes us as being very delightful that
the gentleman from whom we buy grapes in
the afternoon at Eighth and Spruce Is tho
same gentleman from whom we buy in the
evening nn orange nt Ninth nnd Chestnut.
It is charming to realize that ho moves north
with the same regularity that the sun moves
west and thnt at some point in their journey
they cross each' other's path. The two
wheeled vehiclo on which la displays his
wares is topped with a riot of color. There
is a mountain of bright red apples of apple
red; orange-colored oranges, pear-colored
pears and grape-colored grapes, and the
copper-colored copper kettle that houses the
roasting peanuts sings songs through n thin
whistle and, well, really, if wo ever get
through the mall that clutters our desk, wo
must perpetrate a little pnstelo on this
subject. We are sure it will be very well
worth while.
'We acknowledge with' shame thnt we have
not yet answered a pressing Invitation of
the king of Slam to visit Bangkok or is it
Manayunk? to go fishing on tho Toule-Sap
(or,- mayhnp, tho Schuylkill). Wo admit
our remissness is all tho more reprehensible
because his majesty on the last occasion we
were in Siam was pleased to express his
riotous appreciation of a harmless littlo quip
of ours when invited to n court function,
'"Will I be required to wear my soup and
fish," wo demanded, "or will you take mo
just as SlamV' Oh, well, we jnpesters must
bo merry once In a while.
Our wife Is sometimes filled with fore
bodins; when she real two that the tljno will
HAVE NO SLACKERS
come when the Nipper will have to exchange
his frilly little dresses for short parils. Wo
sometimes suspect thut tho foreboding is not
wholly unconnected with tho fact thut there
is more feminine joy in the planning of
skirts than lu the cutting down of papa's
pants to make three complete suits for
weekdays, Sundays and holidays. The
Nipper, by the way, said something un
usually clever tho other day, but, unfor
tunately, ' we have forgotten what It was.
But no matter. It will come to us later.
A Weather Myth
Tho Sun had given jolly Earth much wine;
His hoso was pointed west, a rosy red ;
A drunken drowsiness dulled every sense,
And the Stars were forced 'to light him to
his bed.
The gentle Moon came, sailing slowly by,
Shedding all about a modest light;
She saw, and slipped behind a cloud, for
slinmo
At seeing Earth in such a sorry plight.
Next day old Earth felt pangs of keen re
morse ;
His head was throbbing with- an awful
pain ;
The tears began to fill his aching eyes,
And men said, "It is surely going to rain."
WALTER A. Dl'ER.
Fillers
The world is fresh and sweet and clean
but you can't prove it at all musical shows.
Musical shows are slapstickcd into shape
by a series of undress rehearsals.
Don't bo a tightwad. When jour wife
tells you that she just has to have some new
dresses, why, let 'cr rip.
Get it? s Enjoyment depends upon tho
point of view. A woman can have a ripping
time working over her old clothes.
Clothes may make the man, but with the
present high cost of living they .arc just ns
likely to break him.
In thCfucc of winter nnd the coal strike
the coal" pile has a lean and the furnace a
hungry look.
Life grows a little sweeter with the
promise of more sugar this week.
Tho high cost of living is not worrying
local thieves.
Tjc public has been tho goat in every
strike ever pulled off. Realizing that it is
the goat it is now going to use its horns.
The children's game of "Heavy, heavy,
what hnugs over?" is answered by tho
weather sharp: Heavy underwear.
The motorist who strikes, kills and
speeds away may not be a plain brute, but
he assuredly has a large streak of yellow
in him.
Today's election results will be as ap
posite us tho polls. v
ABOUT A STICK
"About a stick," tho printers say,
Will fill my space. Aluckuday
No thought will como to give me caso;
No quip, no quirk, no jape, no wheeze
To brighten up my weary way.
No stick can mako mo grumble ! Nay ! '
Though Fato belabor mo each day
There's naught to bring me to my knees
About n stick!
A stick of typo! Two inches! Pray
What's there to hurt? Of matter gray
Just half a spoonful, if you pleaso;
Stir gently; set wbcro fancies tease.
1 'Tis thus one drivels out a lay
About a stick.
DEMOSTHENES MqOINNIS,
TODAY!"
GRAND OPERA
rpHE fiddles are twanging, the kettledrums
banging,
Tho gifted soprano is shooting top-notes;
The solemn contralto, Maria Rialto,
Is urging the chorus to crack their white
throats ;
The tenor and basso, compatriots of Tasso,
Are having a row with the fierce baritone.
They're making it willing and soon there'll
be killing
With bloodthirsty snorts from the Prussian
trombone.
The maids are capricious, the men's tem
pers vicious,
The costumes arc quaint and the manners
nre bad;
No visible copper, staKIX silent and proper,
Keeps watch, and knives gleam in the belt
of each lad;
So trouble, bad trouble, arrives at the
double,
And some one goes down with a last ringing
shout.
That's one gone to glory. Bit pleaso read
the story
Once in you will never guess what it's about.
It's rather a tax on the calm Anglo-Saxon
To beat the Italians nt this finnv came:
With gestures erratic and movements rheu
matic The Aussies get through, but there's rarely
a flame ;
But Swell!, and Belli, and Ovhntayelli
Behave as they would in n sieaka'-da-oyst;
Beneath that proud banner tic grand-opera
manner
Is practiced all day round the cook's kitchen
hoistj Sydiey Bulletin.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
How many voyuges did Columbus make
to tho New World?
What are incunabula?
When did soft coal nihing become a
-recognized industry in Pennsylvania?
Wlfpt is the last book in tho Old Testa
ment? When did the Sepoy lebellion break
out?
Name an article of food especially char-
. utiensnc oi i-niiauclpiiaY
7. What is a "Fidus Achttes"?
8. Define majority and plurality?
0. What are the colors of (ho flag of Swe
den?
10. How did the Roman wite 40?
Answers to Yesterday's Qui
1. A significant event In American history,
which is to be hoiored with a ter
centenary celebrathn next year, is tho
landing of the Pilo-ims,
2. Brand Whltlock, Aucrican ambassador
to Belgium, accompanied King Albert
back home. '
3. Serendipity is tho dft of finding valu
able or agreeabh things not sought
for. Tho word vas coined by Horacp
Walpole in allusbn to tie tale ot tha
"Three Princes if Serendlp."
4. Shakespearea voabulary was about
24,000 words.
D. This is about 10,0(0 more than are used
in the King Janes Bible.
0. Daniel Defoe wrob "Moll Flanders."
7. Dr. Karl Muck is at present back in
Berlin. t
8. Two works by Gmtave Flaubert or
"SalaInmbo,, nnd ''Vadamo Bovary."
9. A federal district court In Indianapolis
granted) the injunction against tho coaly
strikers. r
10. Tho copra ot the Ornish (lag are red
nnd white, ,
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