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(EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER PHlL'Af)EL?HIA,i MONDAY. OCTOBER 6, 1919
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i. PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
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Martin, SrMarv ani Trdium Philip B Cilllna.
hn P. wllllama, John J Spurgeon, Directors
EDIIORIAL HOAHD:
Crjos H K. Cmtit, Chairman
DAVID E. SMILET Editor
JOHN C. iiARTIN.. General Eualncta Manager
PubllahM dally at TcBttc I.cpoeh Ilulldlnir.
Atuntio Cm
1'EW YOBK.i
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jnurprnuence bquaxe, i-nuaneinnia,
Pr...jt.I7nfmi nulMtne
208 Metropolitan Towfr
. ...rJl Tord nulldll-T
ions I'nllfrion ilulMInc
.1302 Tribune Building
UHEAVS:
NEWS
. tvatniMiTnv uinrtu.
N. 11. Cor. rennsjlvanla Av. and tlth St.
New yokk lUnruu . Th Sun HulLlIng
Lo.MtON Dutac London rimes
suBcnii'TioN Tcnyt
Tha Evcmvo Pi PLir Lrmm l pervert to pub
crtr-ers In Philadelphia and purroumllrts towns
t the it of twelve 112) cents per week. pavabla
to the carrier
I3v mall to point outMdt) of rhtladelphla. In
the United States, Canadi, or United States po
pehalnns. potace free, fifty ,Mi) cents per month
Sir (10! dollars iw year parable in advance.
To all foreign countries one. ($1) dollar per
month.
NoTifr SnWrlberw lhlnc mldress cnanred
must give old as well ns new address.
' BELL. 3000 WALNUT KE1 STONE. MAIV 3000
C Address o!f ewmmunlcodoiu (o Etculiifl Pub ta
Ledger, 'ndcpcHdcnco Square, J'ltt'rdrjp,! n
Member of the Associated Press
' THE ASSOCIATED PRESS h cxr'u
slvctu entitled to the use for republication
of all news dispatches credited to it or not
otherwise credited In this paper, and alio
the local new? published therein
All rights of republication of special dis
patches herein are also icsertcd
Philidrlphia. Mondi, Otlobtr 6, 1111
BANNING TRANSIT ARCHAISMS
"PHERE are atavisms in public utilities
- just as there are in biology. Une of
them is Sansom street as a factor in
trolley routes.
Several years ago the P. R. T. manage
ment was wise in abandoning that nar
row thoroughfaie as an cast and west
section of its "L" shaped surface lines.
Today the indication that it may use
Locust street for "looping" the Tenth
and Eleventh, Twelfth and Thirteenth
and Fifteenth and Sixteenth streets lines
Is further encouraging cidencc of the
company's utility to disentangle itself
from- awkward tradition in handling its
transit problems.
The value of both Sansom and Filbert
streets for trolley service passed away
when central Philadelphia became over
crowded. The key to progress in this
city is to forget how things used to work
and to illumine the changed modern sit
uations with independent vision.
PRODUCE, INCREASE, MULTIPLY
rpHE United States Council of National
- Defense has undertaken a campaign
of education concerning the high cost
of living; indicating the cause and sug
gesting a remedy.
.It is old stuff; and true as it is old.
The-cause was war waste. The
remedy is increased production.
The fact that the council finds it nec
essary to start a campaign of education
indicates where the remedy should be
initiated: With the workers.
The council speaks vaguely of punish
ing profiteers and hoarders; but it is
,. difficujt to take adequate precautions
against or steps toward punishing a
crime that has not been legally defined.
And its wish for "better co-operation
and method in distributing and market
ing goods" is praiseworthy rather than
helpful. There is need for these things.
The need was there before the war be
gan. But it is a trifling detail of a big
subject.
What we need is more goods; then
more goods; and then still more goods.
Because appreciation of the fact is all
that will save the world from disaster,
the work of education being undertaken
by the council is worth while emphasiz
ing. ENLIVENING THE TREATY
VTO MATTER what the Senate does to
-- the treaty, it is extremely likely to
be soon in force for four nations.
The large majority in favor of the
pact in the French Chamber of Deputies
is 'valid indication that the French Sen
ate will soon complete the job. Britain
has already approved the document. It
is the immediate expectation that Italy
will do so by royal decree. The Fiume
tangle has nothing to do with this sub
ject. All the territorial adjustments
affecting Italy are involved in the Aus
trian treaty.
With Britain, France, Italy and Ger
many in line, the treaty, by the terms of
Article 440, will come into operation.
But it will be in force only for those
nations which have signed up. In other
words, the agreement of four nations is
necessary before the official establish
ment of any peace at all. After that
any other country can have peace or not,
just as it chooses.
THE SUGAR SHORTAGE
AMERICA is throwing candy bouquets
. on the grave of John Barleycorn.
" Chase a man from the saloon and he'll
Tun to tne candy store. Balk his willing
ness to imbibe spirits and his weak flesh
demands sugar.
We have it from a member of the
pugar rehners' committee that last
month 60,000 tons more sugar were con
sumed than in the same month last year.
' That's at the rate of 4,320.000 barrels a
'year.
Add to this that the war has decreased
European production and you have the
cause of the sugar shortage.
But though prices go up, there is no
ground for despair. The coming Cuban
crop will prevent famine, and sooner or
later prices will be stabilized.
Inr the meantime let us cultivate a
tweet -disposition, for which no sugar
iu needed. .
'v
" PASSING OF HINDENBURG
HOW deeply the militaristic idea was
ingrained in the German conscious
ness was shown during the war by the
tSrection in Berlin of the giant wooden
Kludenburg monument.
U , Hindenburg was the god that was to
lead them to victory and pails driven
' tnjo Ws statue stood for the "money which
-maw matte wm man ui iron anc w-
vmeaa.
z -- -.. ;.me . m . - ..
f B hirapiper rotted and n' nails.
i.i
rutted, and the victory his followers
hoped for was turned to defeat.
This week the monument is to be torn
down. But with the exploits of Von der
.Goltz in the Baltic states bcfoie us thero
is small ground for hope that the people
have changed their ideals. It must be
simply that they need the nails.
ALL THE COUNTRY IS WeArY
OF ALL SORTS OF RADICALS
Three Great Conferences to Seek a Sane
Middle Course Between Opposed Ex
tremists in Industrial Disputes
TN T
-1- rail
THE steel regions, in the British
railway strike, in Russia and even in
the drawing rooms where bolshevism
succeeded jazz in flie list of fads the
tides of red fienzy are beginning to re
cede. Pittsburgh, it now appears, was to
have had a soviet with millionaires
cleaning the streets an'd begging plain
tively for biead while ecstatic Lithuanian
puddlers rode m their limousines and
heaved objets d'nrt at the police.
That sort of thing will not be. It
would do nobody any good. And,-, be
sides, it wouldn't be fair to the Pitts
burgh millionaires, who, no matter what
you say about them, have worked harder
in their day than any Lithuanian with
led leanings ever did or ever will.
Piactical bolshevism has given Russia
some pleasant dreams. But the popula
tion cannot supply itself with the neces
sities of life. Lcuuie is feeling for peace.
The silent opinion of intelligent people
m and out of trades unionism is defeat
ing ladicalism in England just as it is
defeating Foster and his associates in
the United States.
The pendulum, everybody is saying,
has begun to swing backward. How far
will it go? That it may not swing too
far in the opposite duection everybody
with good sense and a decent regard for
the common welfaie will devoutly hope.
Jubilant hvmns of praise are already
gathering volume under the white osts
of the world. It is already clear that
some of the loudest of th"m will carry a
note of hatred. It is not bolshevism that
we have to fear in this country. It is a
violent and extreme leaction after the
futile and troublesome demonstration of
amateur levolutionists.
if the present hubbub is to bring about
a revival of the brutal and defiant ma
terialism that in years bcfoie the war
left communities depressed, bewildered,
ignorant, overdriven, desperate and dis
illusioned, then we shall have learned
nothing m the costly experience of the
last four years. We shall have pro
gressed not at all.
There is a vanishing type of would-be
industrial baron who plainly anticipates
with a sense of victory some such culmi
nation as this. He is not lepresentative.
He crowds to the front at intervals to
speak for a world of industry that,
though it shares none of his delusions, is
too busy to speak for itself.
They are the odd fish of the period.
The oddest thing about them is that they
are sincerely convinced of their own vir
tue. You probably would find that each
of them feels somehow assured that ulti
mately, m heaven, lie will bo able to
show them how to care for their desti
tute and keep their poor in order.
Industry in America has often been
as unfortunate as labor in its choice of
spokesmen. Schwab, Hoover, the younger
Rockefeller with his new social conscious
ness, Rea and Atteibury, of the Pennsyl
vania Railroad, and Mitten, of the P. R.
T., suggest in their various ways the
actual trend of opinion now dominant in
the industrial life of the country. Their
views are far nearer the views of the
active working army of American indus
trial leaders than are those of an occa
sional conspicuous reactionary with
moie time for the spotlight.
Men and women who actually do rep
resent the rational aspirations of labor
and industry and the people and the
country will try to make themselves
heard above the turmoil at three confer
ences to be held in Washington during
the present month.
The work of the industrial conference
that is to open today and of the Woman's
Trade Union Congress and the great In
ternational Labor Congress which will
assemble later will be quite as impor
tant in a general way as anything at
tempted recently m the House or the
Senate.
It w ill be the aim of these conferences
to formulate a new philosophy of indus
trial relations, to dismiss the conflicting
doctrines of the divine right of money
and the diwne right of strength with
which capital on the one hand and labor
on the other have been deluding them
selves for years. Industrial relation
ships are to be minutelv surveyed in a
culminating effort to find a basis for
fixed peace between forces that are quite
as potential for good or ill as any two
mutually suspicious nations m Europe.
Representatives of labor, of industry
and of governments are assigned to the
task of protecting the country at large
and civilization in general from hard
boiled employers and inflammable neu
rotics who would like to rule the world
with the assistance of organized labor.
One of the inexplicable phenomena of
American politics is the attitude of
aloofness which official Washington haB
majntained toward the plan to relieve
the economic processes of the country'
from the influence of extremists of op
posed types.
Mr. Wilson, Mr. Taft and Mr. Hoover
are the only men with political influence
of high potentiality to manifest an ac
tive interest in the aims and plans of the
three great labor conferences.
Campaigners for the presidency seem
concerned mostly with Shantung, Fiume
and the league of nations. Yet in any
real emergency we could cut away from
the issues of Fiume and Shantdng. Far
more important is peace and the adjust
ment of differences between the two
forces that direct the destiny of the
United States from within.
Anything fthat limited initiative in
America, wouwDe
'
unwunai aumiiiy,
If in this country men are not to have
a right to the rewards and fruits of
their industry and talent, we shall have
to depart from the one principle that
has been an animating force behind
civilization from the first. It is possible
to recognize' and admit the truth of this
and at the same time to Insist that the
accident of poverty should never be per
mitted to operate to leave great masses
of men, women and children defenseless
against systems of exploitation and op
pression. That sort of thing is bad for
everybody. It is bad for the country.
The test of a politician's fitness for
high office in the United States might ac
tually be found in his attitude toward the
October labor and industrial conferences.
The man who first turns his face to the
future rather than to the past in efforts
to find an answer to what is now tho
most important question in tho woild
may be expected to be seriously consid
ered for the presidency.
MOORE AS TRUE REFORMER
f HAMPTON MOORE has an admir
." able lecord of fidelity to his princi
ples. If, as there is every reason to
believe, it is unbroken, his coming term
of office as Mayor will be free from the
unsavory blight of political assessments.
A significant sentence in his Washing
ton letter to this newspaper last Satur
day clearly defines his position. "If the
new Mayor of Philadelphia," declares
Mr. Moore, "succeeds in cnfoicing the
law against political assessments he will
help the officeholders and set a good ex
ample to the Republican paity m the
nation."
It was logical to expect that this
would be his attitude. But it is invig
orating to read his stern and explicit
disapproval of an indefensible tyranny
which has so lpng been a prime factor
in the continuance of political corruption
in this city. Naturally the officeholders,
especially the "little fellows," resented
their bondage, but they were helpless.
Theie is really some hope that the police
and firemen will be taken out of politics
if they are no more to be compelled to
pay tribute to the machine. (
Mr. Moore is a practical statesman.
He knows how the political game in
Philadelphia has been pla.ed. He knows
also how to eliminate its crooked fea
tures. After his inevitable election the
public will watch with heartened interest
the steps, already foiecast, taken to end
a degrading outrage.
The Ilnriard endow
In the Good Old Dajs merit fund committee,
which is trjitis to
raNo the salaries of professors to tho level
of that of a f.iirly good butler, draws atten
tion to the fact that teachers got good pay
in the days of Vespas'ian and Marcus Au
rolius Antoninus. Some private instructors
sot as miii'h as $300,000 a ear Queer how
they managed tilings in the old days! Whv.
tlmtS almost us much as a prize-fighter gets
nowadavs.
Air navigation is still
MiHioieutly n c vv to
p r o v i d e spectators
witli thrills, and the
over the citj recently
of publieitv matter de
When Thej
Cease to Thrill
O 1, which passed
dropping "bombs"
tailing the advantages of life in the navv.
received interested attention; but, sooner or
later, when the newness wears off, we maj
look for ordinances prohibiting the dropping
of literature from the air, for the reason
that it may litter up the streets or frighten
horses
The (lerman (Joveru-
Where the ment has issued a dc-
Mark Stajs rrec ordering the re-
moral of monarchical
insignia from all buildings, stationery, '
stamps and other places. But in Bern
liardi's recent pronouncement that Germany
will yet wield the sword successfully there is
evidence that the governmental decree is not
sufficient to remove the insignia from the
German mihd.
A horse attadied to
(jood for a the Tirst Division,
Horse Laugh A 13 r , jumped from
a Brooklyn pier three
weeks ago and has just beeu found He was
standing in three feet of water. It is be-
lieved he lived on garbage and rested be
neath piers between swims "Ain t he a
bird!" exclaimed the forage master Yep
a mud lark.
Mrs Pridinorc, foun
Foundry and Kitchen Irj woman of Chicago,
attending the conven
tion in this, city of the American Foundry
men's Association, says there is a held for
women in the foundries of the country.
Doubtless, doubtless! But let us hope they
will not wholly disdain the molding of pics
with the old familiar tore.
The assuniUon that
Still Fighting the American Legion
will go into politics is
premature. But it may be taken for granted
that the organization will bo a unit against
any attempt of agitators to upset the demo
cratic institutions for which ther risked
their lives.
There is cause for mingled regret and
hopefulness in the confession of M. F Tighe
before the Senate committee that the steel
strike was precipitated by tho unions be
cause of the fear of what the I W. 'w.
vvould do regret that the I W V should
have such power and hopefulness in that
there are mn in the unions opposed to their
methods.
Scientists know that metals get tired,
but as yet have found no meai's of discover
ing how much they can stand before show
ing fatigue. But they are experimenting
and have hopes. Similar Conditions confront
political orators in tho matter of their con
stituents. A Frenchman has invented an adjust
able gauge truck which enables a car to
pass iiova wide to narrow tracks and back
again without stopping It might be found
useful in the Senate for the railroading of
the peace treaty.
If the populace chanced to ba as famil
iar with the peace, treaty as it is with the
batting averages of the world series con
tenders Congress would have le6s ercuse for
protracted conversation.
The premier of Jugo-Slavia is stand
ing rat on three aces Wilson, Lloyd George
and Clemenccau.
Respectfully submitted to strike com
mittees eTery wheys: If you starve a cow
you can't expect to milk her.
The) nett President will nrnlmhW k.
I fine weo-djusss uib una maoai, .
DR. KRIEBEL DOES HIS BIT
Educator Who Is Also Good Executive.
Convention of the Great Unterrl.
fled at Which Pat Foley Hit
vthe Big Drum
By GEORGE NOX McCAIN
pLUMMER C. JEFFKRIS, of Chester
- county, is a frequent visitor to Phila
delphia. Ho has retired from public life.
4I do not know any one who is more de
serving of release fr6m public care than
Plummcr .Tffcnr. He has grown gray in th
service of the people. And lie has left be
hind him nn excellent record.
A Republican, but an independent, he firct
came Into prominence at the legislative ses
fion of 16(17. Hit constituents thought so
well of him that they returned him to the
session of 1S00.
It was at the latter session that Dr. John
B. Rendall, the eminent educator and pres
ident of Lincoln University at Oxford, was
his colleague. Both were interested in the
anti-Quay movement of that period.
In the j ears that have elapsed since, Mr.
Jefferis has tilled a number of offices hi
Chester county, the last being that of major
of West Chester.
He has been particularly interested In
education and was for years one of the
trustees of the State Normal School at
West Chester. Ho has been active as a
contractor, and though still on the sunny
side of seventy, has decided that his remain
ing years shall be jears of rest.
O. S KUIEBEL belongs to that
L' cla
as-s of educators who are business c-
ecutives as well as directing heads of edu
cational institution!
Ho is principal of the Perkiomen School
for Boys at Peunsburg. It began years ago
as a modest preparatory school under the
auspices of that rare but militant sect, the
Schwcnkfeldcrr. Iu tho course of half a
century it has grown to have hundreds of
students, commodious buildings, acres of
campus and all the requirements of an ad
vanced preparatory school.
Doctor Kriebel has been responsible for
this.
There is not a week in nine months of the
year, I think, that his big high-power car
cannot be seen on the streets of Philadel
phia, Re-idiug, Hnrrisburg or Allcutown.
And he is nlwajs intent on business per
taining to the institution.
There arc students this year iu attendance
from seven foieign countries.
Every returned soldier who applies is
given a scholarship. It is expensive for the
school, perhaps, but Doctor Kriebel believes
that "doing jour bit" does not end with
hostilities.
The war lias drtne wonders for the ad
vancement of education is the opinion of the
doctor. It is due to a stimulated desire for
higher education. "Deferred desires" play
a big part, he says. Tho opportunity to
realire the aspirations of young men for a
higher education is now made possible.
HOUSTON DUNN, after a summer spent
with his family iu the heart of the Adi
rondaeks, is back home.
He is one of tho few insurance engineers
iu this country.
It is a profession that combines architec
ture, construction and topographical engi
neering. It has to do particularly with
manufacturing plants, where fire prevention
is the first essential.
In this class arc uil refineries, chemical
works, paint and djc plants and similar in
dustries usually turned down in cold blood
bv old-line insurance companies. The en
gineering part has to do with the proper
location of buildings, their contiguity to
units of danger and everj thing that pertains
to the elimination of danger from fire or
explosion.
Mil. DUNN was one of the two members
of the Pennsylvania food administration
who owed their appointment to Herbert
Hoover. He wrote to the national food ad
ministrator, whom he had never met, in
September, 1017, offering suggestions for a
campaign of instruction among farmers iu
the production and ecouomic distribution of
food. The idea came to him on one of his
numerous automobile trips over the state.
A month later he received a request to
call at the headquarters of the food admin
istration. Hoover had forwarded his letter
of suggestions with the following laconic
vommeut :
"This man hns an idea. It looks good.
Better sec him."
The Pennsylvania administration adopted
the Dunn idea and Dunn himself. It set
him to working it out.
It was Houston Dunn who, in the critical
period iu the summer of 1018, arranged for
the establishment ot emergency depots in
Philadelphia where food could be sold with
out profit should such a necessity arise.
Fortunately the crisis passed without
having to resort to this extreme measure.
CHA
of
rtLES P. DONNELLY, titular head
the unterrified Democracy in Phila
delphia, real estate dealer and political
philosopher, gets from his Chestnut Hill
home to Broad and Chestnut every day. The
time i for his appearance is between 10 and
l'J o'clock. He mixes up business with his
politics during his dally rounds of banks and
brokers' offices.
Charlie Donnelly Has lost a perceptible
amount of bis partisau belligerency of twenty-five
j-ears ago. He and the late Patrick
Foley, of Pittsburgh, divided militant honors
then at Democratic state conventions.
In those dajs, when A. Mitchell Palmer
was yet" an undergraduate at Swartbmore
aijd dreamn of Democratic empire had not
begun to flit through his sophomore brain;
when Vance McCormick was nn inchoate
politician, to whom Ben Myers, of Dauphin,
was a sage to be revered, James SI. Guffey
was the undisputed czar of the Jacksonian
host. William H. Snowdeu, William Uhler
Hensel, John Ancona, Victor Piolette and
Congressman Tom Mutchler were state lead
ers of prowess and renown.
Pattison's two terras as Governor was
a recurrent inspiration of hope that some
day some other Democrat might grace the
gubernatorial chair.
They had real Democratic conventions
then.
Charlie Donnelly was not always as dig
nified and suave as ho is today. He is mel
lowing with the years. No Democratic
state convention was complete in that era
without a shindy. No make-believe, either.
It was a red-letter day in Reading when
the embattled hosts of Democracy let their
combative instincts get away with their cold
judgment. In his earnestness to protest
against some unpopular ruling of the chair,
Donnelly (purely by accident, of course)
"pushed" Pat Foley off the stage and he
fell through the bass drum in the or
chestra. Those were g-r-r-and and t-1-o-rieus
days, believe me.
The music of the spheres is said to
linger in Hawaiian okolebea. It is to the
ukulele what the nightingale is to the crow.
It is an angel's voice in a concourse of
gweeb sounds. Ob, no, it is not a musical
instrument a -tall, It is distilled moonshine ;
a drink with a kick like a mule.
France will soon seek Allied aid in the
aettiement of financial problems, says a dis
patch from Paris, And no real settlement
Js jttlf until everybody' jets totvorktlie
wtd world over. ' " . V f
AND LISTENERS
. 7 VSaXr-
T-VSSMwirtH. .itiSJI-IJ . F-t. ! BM! - -i: Ifi fcaPKMHM fti ft Yr.iiT7'Sr .
THE CHAFFING DISH
Confessions In a Hash House
T'M THROUGH!
J- Seven years I've worked at this hash
counter.
Stooping down five hundred times a day
To shout down the dumb-waiter to Pete
(That Polack never pays any attention,
I can't get a thing I ask for)
And spilling a line of cheerful chatter
To my customers.
I should think men would get tired of kid
ding. THOSE guys that are so particular,
Send back their scrambled eggs for an
other three minutes, -
Must have tholrtomatocs on a side dish
And not-on-tbo ineat, - -
Gee, I'll bet when they're home
They take -what comes to them
And shut up about it. i
And I'll bet that the fresh guys
Who pull the jazz talk day after day
Have mighty little to say at home.
Men are a bunch of fakers :
If I ever get one where I want him
I'll make him behave.
I'll bean him With a sad-iron.
I
SI TIRED of kidding the bunch.
I'm tired of listening to their yap about
what they like
And what they don't like.
Just for a change I'd like to see some one
Como'fn here and order his lunch and eat it
Without trying to be funny about it.
If all this stooping wasn't so good for the
figure , ,.
(But, oh my back by six p. m. '.)
I'da quit long ago.
WELL, girls, I'm through.
Next week I'm going to marry a fellow,
And I don't mind. telling you, I'm in luc.
He works in a restrunt on Girard avenue,
So he won't ever be home to meals.
60 ne GERTRUDE.
We always believe in going to headquar
ters fdr our, Information, and to settle the
question whether J. M. Barrie wrote Daisy
Ashford's book we would long ago have
written to Sir James to ask b m about it
but his handwriting is so indecipherable that
we would not know what he said. Seven
vears ago we had a letter from Mr. Barrie,
and we still take it out sometimes in the
long winter evenings and try to read it.
Our own expert's condensation 'of "I'm
Forever Blowing Bubbles" has brought us
some communications from our always
helnful and nice-natured clients. Two of
these have hastened to Inform that the au
thor is John William Kellette, formerly a
llnotyper on eeteral newspapers ; and we
earn that Mr. Kellette is about to knock
the public ear for another loop with a sequel
entiled "Bubbling Over." We may be
wrong, but we doubt whether the public can
be bubbled again bo soon.
Another letter is from our 'good highbrow
friend Edwin Edgett, literary editor of the
.. ua fi m T miicr - .
Uostou Transcript. - - " -fess
my ignorance, but m Forever Blowing
Bubble, is new to me." Now Lb it that
typical of Boston? "Mr. KeUette had
called his ditty "I Am Perpetually JBJaeu.
latins Unsubstantial Spheres of Vapor,"
bow quidkly Boston would have fallen for it
Obviously TennyfcorTM not thinking of
Elaine, Ark., when be pulled that line about
Elaine the fair, Elaine the lovable.
Additional Argument for Prohibition
Another highly Important plce ' of ' evl-
aJZ .t,ini. wan-1, wonderful effective
ness was the fact that not a. Hed-nosed
"player reached third base. Our favorite
morning piper.
When we. hear anyj-one
speak conde-
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HEAR NO GOOD OF THEMSELVES, EITHR
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THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS
1 ' ORATION
Address to An Employer Upon Demand
lug a Raise
As Planned
As Delivered
If you aro not too
busy, sir, there is one
other matter iu
fact, tho truth of the
matter in fact is ex
actly well, sir, I
was precisely won
dering whether of
course I know this is
a bad time indeed
I have been very
pleased to seo busi
ness picking up a bit
lately, an'd I am sure
my own department
has been but to tell
you the truth, sir, I
have been wondering
of course it is just
as you think best and
I wouldn't think of
insisting, but after
all perhaps I have
made a mistake in
mentioning it, but
I was thinking that
possibly you might
bear in mind the idea
of a possible future
raise in salary at
some future time.
I think you will
admit, sir. that tho
quality of my work
during tho last two
years has been such
that my services could
not easily be fo
placed. I speak more
in pain than In anger
when I say that it
has been a matter of
profound surprise to
me to uoto that you
have not seen fit to
acknowledge my value
to the firm in, some
substantial way. I
think I may say that
I have been patient.
I have continued my
efforts with unremit
ting zeal, and I think
I may flatter myself
uiat my endeavors
nave not been with
out result. I have
here, carefully tabu
lated, a memoran
dum of the increased
profits in my' depart
ment during the last
twelve months, due
in great part to my
careful management.
I am sorry to have to
force you into a de
cision, but I think I
owe it to myself to
say candidly that un
less you see the mat
ter in the same way
that I do I' shall feel
obliged to deprive the
firm of my services.
Wo have often noticed that the college
students who complain most bitterly of the
difficulty of memorizing dates and mathe
matical formulae can absorb the most com
plicated football signals with apparent ease.
Personals
E M. MARBLE Drop in some time.
RICHARD DESMOND If the same will
call at office of the Chaffing Dish, will learn
something to his advantage. a
PETE No, Socrates does not write the
Quiz.
Georgians Is Herself Again
We have received a number of inquiries
about the welfare of Georgtana, our pet
bookworm, and beg to reply on her behalf
that she is-doing nicely. George Glbbs has
asked us to propound to her the antique
conundrum that runs thus:
A bookworm, starts to eat her way
through a two-volume, work which stands
on a bookshelf. The thickness pf each vol
ume Is two inches of paper ; the covers are
one-elghth-lnch boards. Beginning r.t the
first page of the first volume and chewing
In a straight line to the. last pagro of the
second olume, how far does she travel?
Georgians saya that Mr. Rigby tried to
fool her with that riddle when she first
turned up ia bis shop. Her answer is "One.
quarter of an Inch, unless the books In ques
tion are' novels by Mr, Gibbs himself. In
that case, so much am I enamored of his
enchanting style I w6uld take the trouble
to retrace my mouthfuls, and the answer
would be six and one-half inches,"
Georgians adds that her finder, -Mr.
Rigby, makes a hobby of mathematics and
taught her that two and two do not always
total four, Bsld.she Is expert atrlddlbig
things, '! 1 1' ! 'v i, . . Z " . s
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THE FAN
NO WORDS have yet my fancy caught
Anent the league of nations,
I don't Include intensive thought
Among my dissipations.
No Shantung bugaboo can raise "
Sly dander or my terror ;
But, say! the game still wins my praise
A game without an error!
D'Annunzlo may drain his cup
And all the beans be spilling,
No Fjuine fuss can stir me up
While Ruethcr makes a killing.
Though British votes the council grab,
Thus driving patriots batty,
I think but of the Korr-fuU job
That swatted Cincinnati.
State problems never were for me.
They're, not what I was. made Jor. .
Let politicians find the key,
For that is what they're paid for.
But cheerfully I make report,
And tenderly I pat it:
If politics was just a sport
I'd bo a wonder at if!
GRIF ALEXANDER?
Matthias Erzberger says Germany needs
financial aid from the United States. 'Tis
true. The whole world needs it. But the
whole world will have to go to work first.
Wellcsley College has posted notices
prohibiting smoking. And for every girl
who quits the chances are two4 will start
just out of pure cussedness.
From Boston comes the news that the
number of Christian Endeavor societies in
creased In Germany during the war. When
the devil wis sick, etc.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Which one of the central powers tjulfc
first in the war?
2. What President of the United States
later became a citizen of another
country?
3. What is plankton?
4. What American river runs through the
Royal Gorge?
6. Iu what direction does the Gulf Stream
flow?
0. What was Dorr's Rebellion?
7. Whep did it occur?
8. When did Venice cease to be an inde
pendent rijiubllc?
0. What Is the'fly of a flag?
10. What vital Strategic mistake was made
by the Germans at the beginning of
the war?
Answers to Saturday's Quiz
1. The French Chamber of Deputies has re
cently ratified the peace treaty.
2. Cicotte should be pronounced as though
it were spelled "Seecutt," and
with sn equal stress on each syllable.
3. President Wilson is not quite sixty -
three years old. '
4. Benjamin Franklin married Deborah
Read, of Philadelphia.'
D. The game of lacrosse Is of-Canadian
origin.
6. The Lion of St. Mark is symbolical of
Venice. J
'7. Little John in English tradition was a
tall, stalwart fellow, who became a
member of Robin Hood's band of out
laws. His original name is variously
tUta as John Little or Jphn Nallor.
8. William G. McAdoo was President Wil
son's first secretary of th treasury.
0. The minnesingers were the earliest
lyric poets of Germany. Their name
i is derived from "wlone-isng" (loye
..ditty)., ;., ,H,
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