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EVENING JPUBLlC LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1919
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L' PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
r- .emus it. k. cinvrts. rriPT
Wfc'
trUn.8cTtiry and Treasurer. Fhlllp k C-illlns.
John B. Williams, John i Spurgcon, Directors
EDITORIAb llOARUb
Cis.cs II K. Cmns. Chairman
UAVID E. SMILEY
Editor
JOHN C. MARTIN Ocneral Business Manaser
Published dally at Trniio I.rnnrii Jlulldlnc,
Independence Square, Philadelphia,
AraiNTia Cirr. Prttt-Unlon tlulldlne
Kit 1'tu,,: ,, 100 Metropolitan Tower
DrnoiT .701 Ford Building
St. Loth.. . inns Fulterton Hulldlns
Cmcioo. , 1302 Tribune Building
NEWS BUREAUS
wuntvoTov Bt,rA
N. n. Cor. renn)hanla At. and 14 th Fit.
Kinr YonK Utitiuu The Suit BuHdlnc
ZoxDON &LCCAD . . . London Times
BUDSCItirT'OV TCTM1!
The Err-Mso Ii pile Lfjioeh Is seT to sub
tcrlbera In Philadelphia and rurroundlne towns
at th rate of twelve (12) cents per week. paablo
to the carrier. . ,. . , . ,
Br mall to point" outride of rhltallphla in
tha United States. Canada or United State pmi
peftalotm, pontage free fifty so cents per month
8U (IB) dollars pr yenr pivable, In advance.
To all forelcn countries one (SI) aollir per
month. . ,,
Notic! Piibcrlbrs wlhltie n tdres chanced
must five old as well as new nddres.
BELT,, 300 H sLNUT KESTOr. MAIN 30CO
Cy Atdrtss all oommmifcnrloiu to I lenlnp Pu&flo
LedotTt Indtpendcnce bquarr. Phi nrt'lphia
Member of the Associated Press
? THE ASSOCIATED rilESS ft cxchi
(vetu entitled to the use for republication
0 all lines dispatches credited to it or not
otherwise credited in this paper, and also
the local ncu-s puhllihcd therein
All rights of republication of special dis
patches hercti. arc aho rcscn cd
PhiluMphli, .Untie1', 'rptrmbtr 22 191
THREE DAYS NOT ENOUGH
rpHE annual convention of the National
Association of Purchasing Agents,
which will be in sessiot. hcie today, to
morrow ana wednesda;., will ieccie a
hearty welcome from eerv one with I
anything to sell.
But three days is not long enough for
the purchasing agents, even if they do
nothing but inspect our factories and
warehouses. The goal toward which the
live Philadelphians arc heading is n per
manent informal convention of pur
chasing agents in session 300 days of the
ear, the delegates to which shall be so
busy purchasing that they will have no
time for any othei business.
STILL IN THE PRIMER CLASS
"U7E COMMEND to 'the attention of
' those interested in the relations be
tween labor and capital a delightful
essay by Samuel McChord Crothers in
the Atlantic Monthly devoted to a dis
cussion of the methods employed m the
Same School of Experience.
Among other things, Doctor Crothers
has the Dame say:
'When a healthy oung troglodste was
hungry he snatched his food from somchods
who was weaker This was erv con-
venlent for the snatcher and the snatchee
didn't count But the time cime when the
enatcher came with a (rood health appe
tite and there was no one to snatch from
After a while It dawned upon the bright
enatchers that. If they were to make their
business profitable, they must Ieae the
snatchee enough to keep htm alle
This was the first lesson In political
economy
A large part of the industrial unrest
today arises from the belief of tho mod
ern snatchees that the modern snatchers
have not learned this lesson.
TROPIC WRATH
T5UT for the discovery in the quicksands
-off Rebecca Shoals of a large passen
ger steamer said to be the Valbanera,
American tropic waters would propound
another Cyclops mystery. As it is, the
loss of the 300 passengers and entire
crew of the foundered Spanish steamer
, eeems almost incredible. Vessels above
a couple of thousand tons in size rarely
succumb to tempests nowadays.
The gulf and the Caribbean, however,
.sustain the old and terrible traditions of
cyclonic fury. Stanch steamships ca
pable of weathering terrific blows in other
Tvaters ore still overwhelmed in West
India hurricanes. Three or four years
ago a fruit steamer about the size of the
Valbanera vanished in the attempt to
cross the gulf in a terrific storm.
It is arguable that the Cyclops, huge as
she was, went down m a gale. The Ger
mans are prodigal with their confessions
now, but the story of the great navy
collier has no share in them. In default
of any other explanation of the loss,
tropic wrath once more commands at
tention. STRESSING A LOSING ISSUE
fpiIE average American has too much
common sense to be led to affiliate
himself with a political party which
makes its appeal to class interest. There
fore, the project of a committee of forty
eight to call a convention in St. Louis
for the purpose of organizing a new
party with the farm and labor organiza
tions as its basis is not likely to prosper.
Men of all occupations and all classes
are in the Republican and Democratic
parties. They profess to seek the general
good rather than the good of a group of
citizens or the prosperity of a section of
the country. This is only another way
of saying that they are based on the
American idea of democracy, at the bot
tom of which lies belief in equal rights
for all and special privileges for none.
Those who think that the old parties
have survived their usefulness will have
to find a broader issue than that of class
2onsciousness on which to found a new
party.
a wt ml. ec ulau iu ott ir-itryi
rr" i A i-N r m . .
KC rpHE Teport in Paris that Premier
. Clemenceau and Marshal Foch are
,, likely to vidt America in December is
ir. IS- wedible.
J -a , It would not be surprising if not only
-," thy, but thousands of other Frenchmen,
, "' pbould be ;urious enough about America
tomake us a visit. Americans have
Br Mtn Koine to Europe ingreat numbers
(cv years to see what the Old World is
r' Vki. We have shown Europe what wo
" vgtm 4p in the way of waging war, and.
K . ! aw&Kenea in me urn woria an ln-
1 tfliyiit in uj which can be satisfied only
$f; personal visit
W have commercial structures to
4B0W them which are as remarkable in
tkAr, way as the finest architectural
Bouumenu on tne continent, ana we res-
ol our cfcpuiBS inmmvry emu
old nobility of France and England. A
largo proportion of tho great art works
of the world has been assembled here in
public museums 'and private galleries.
Our natural scenery is equal to any in
the world.
But the Frenchmen who come here will
come primarily to see what the nation
is like which can .tend 2,000,000 soldieis
across 3000 miles of ocean and keep them
supplied with food and munitions. We
shall be glad to see both Foch and Clem
enccau and all the lesser men and women
who may see fit to visit us.
BUSINESS AND POLITICS
AND JERSEY'S PRIMARIES
Behind the Election and the Trolley Row
Is a Desire for the Separation of
Public and Private Interests
TTTHEN Governor Runyon, of New Jer
sey, announced on Saturday that the
fhe members of the Public Utilities
Commission responsible for zone faies
will be summoned to show cause why
they should not be ousted in a clump the
august commissioners had reason to be
lieve that the world actually does move.
Nothing so astonishing over happened to
a utilities commission befoic.
Tho gentlemen hae much to explain.
They have reason to feel that they are
to be a grand sacrificial offciing to the
gods of political chance. And quite un
intentionally they have brought about a
cnsis that will give to tomoriow's puma-
er in New Jeisey a sprightly signifi
cance unknown to any recent elections
in Amenca. For it isn't candidates oi
the utilities commission or even the Pub
lic Service Corporation that will be on
trial at the polls.
The thing that the voters in New
Jersey have grown to hate and the thing
that they wish to eliminate is the old
fashioned, disastrous relationship be
tween big business and politics.
That relationship is out of date. It is
no more acceptable nowadays than horse
cars or the mauve-colored plug hat of
the eighties. Yet it persists in New Jer
sey, as it persists in many other Amer
ican communities, as a dark inheritance
from unregeneiate and unenlightened
days. Most business men of experience
have found that it doesn't pay. Wher
ever you look in America you will find
big corporations doing their utmost to be
free of a political relationship which,
after all, was rarely of their own seeking.
Tho Pennsylvania Railroad and the
P. R. T. saw the light long ago and
profited. Wherever there is a belief that
politics and business can mix there will
be loss and trouble. It is the apparent
domination of county and city govern
ments by the steel interests in western
Pennsylvania that has provided labor
leaders with effective strike propaganda.
And it is because of sentimental ties
that are presumed to exist between the
Public Service Corporation of New Jer
sey and the State Utilities Commission
that the people, after years of resigna
tion, have suddenly demanded a show
down that may be costly for everybody
concerned.
Once youf are suspected, once you
achieve a questionable reputation, you
are doomed to go unheeded even when
your woes are authentic and your claims
just. The Public Service Corporation
may prove some justice in its claims. The
utilities commission may have decided
honestly according to its lights in the
zone-fare business. But it will have
a hara time convincing the people of New
Jersey of its virtue.
Its past has returned to haunt it
as pasts always do.
The Public Service Corporation, the
real issue at tomorrow's primaries, is a
consolidation of all the street railway and
electric and gas interests in the most
populous parts of the state,. It is in
every sense a monopoly. It has revealed
the usual aberrations of monopolies.
And it was formed under auspices more
or less political.
Davy Baird was one of the original
geniuses of the corporation. The Public
Utilities Commission, which is supposed
to regulate public service in the interest
of the people, is named by the governor.
Naturally the servicp corporation has
figured large in Jersey politics. The
present commission has been openly ac
cused of subserviency to the monopolistic
influences. Governor Edge appointed the
five commissioners who are now to be
grilled by his friend and successor, Gov
ernor Runyon.
Rum was to have been the issue to
morrow, and some Republican candidates
have been making desperate efforts to
divert the attention of the populace to
woman suffrage. They might have suc
ceeded had it not been for the utilities
commission itself, which in a misguided
hour sustained the' appeal of the street
car corporation for the right to whoop
trolley fares to an undreamed-of altitude
in South Jersey.
That decision would have been unwise
under any circumstances. Coming imme
diately before an election, it was disas
trous. It reminded all the users of gas
and electricity of their own troubles. It
revived old grudges. It looked ominous.
What had happened was what has hap
pened with every monopoly in the past.
The Public Service Corporation over
reached and brought down the house
about its ears.
All utilities corporations in the country
will sooner or later feel the effect of the
Camden trolley boycott. The immediate
result of that hubbub was an organized,
agitation throughout all the state for an
elective utilities commission. Heretofore
no one has seriously questioned the wis
dom of laws which permit the appoint
ment of such powerful commissions by
the governor of a state. But the prin
ciple now advanced by one of the can
didates for the governorship in New Jer
sey is sure to appeal powerfully to the
good sense of the rest of the country.
Governor Runyon turned reluctantly
at the last minute uppn Governor Edge's
commission. To Warren C. King, the in
denendant KaDttbUcaa candidate, bolanaa
courago and energy. Mr. King has prom
ised to turn out the present commission,
body and boots, if he is elected. He will
not even investigate it. But the most
significant thing of all is tho refusal of
the people to believe that there is any
justice in zone fares or in the commis
sion's decisions. Yet It is plain that the
Public Service Corporation operates
many of its lines, particularly in the long
reaches througlf sparsely "populated re
gions, against difficulties that are un
known to corporations like the P. R.' T
which do business in busy and densely
populated areas.
If the question were analyzed tq the
bottom it probably would be shown that
the angry flare of opinion against, the
service corporation had a deeper origin
than zone fares. Energy for the grand n
outburst was stored up in the old days
when naive financiers supposed that they
could set up independent empires of their
own under the shadow of state and mu
nicipal governments. Thomas L. Ray
mond, of Newark, a Republican candi
date, wants elective commissions. New
ton A. K. Bugbcc merely promises an
investigation and appraisal of public
service property. Mr, King would ap
point a commission pledged to restore
five-cent fares provided for in old con
tracts with the municipalities. The Pub
lice Service Corporation is without a
champion!
The primaries were expected to be a
spectacular test of general prohibition
sentiment. James H. Nugent, of New
arkBig Jim as the dominant Demo
cratic candidate seemed in a way lo seri
ously upset all Republican calculation?.
He was the frank and able advocate of
rum and the good old days. Mr. Nugent's
campaign addresses had a lot of foicc.
He was frankly againstrall things new
including woman suffrage.
But New Jersey has tempoiarily for
gotten even its hotels and their interests.
The zone-fare decision sent Big Jim
zooming to the far background.
GRADUATED COURTESY IN-PARIS
AT THIS rate, the Turks, when they
' go to Paris to sign up, will luxuri
ate in the Elysee Palace. Comforts for
the enemy delegates increase as their
onentalism grows moie pronounced.
Quarters for the German commission
wore cramped and stuffy. They were
offeicd nothing better thrin the antiquated
and second-rate Hotel des Reservoirs in
Voi sailles. .
The Austrians, coming fiom farther
East, faied better in the West. The cha
teau of St. Germain is prison-like, but
not without imposing" historic associa
tions. A great king was born there.
Other French monarchs hae dwelt within
its walls. ,
But the Bulgarians draw a prize. The
Chateau de Madrid, where they are
housed, faces the velvety lawns of the
exquisite Bois de Boulogne. Before the
war the charming gabled structure was
a rendezous of smart society. Its res
taurant was one of those considerate in
stitutions which refrained from wounding
its sensitive clientele by quoting prices
on the carte du jour.
As the courtesy thermometer rises the
augury for suave times for the Turks
should cheer the most easterly of civiliza
tion's former foes. It looks as if Lissauer,
with his "one hate and only one," had
given a tip to France.
Housewives are sore
A Disgruntled as food prices soar.
Sorority They are told they,
the prices, rise on
natural planes hv economic power But
they doubt it. Thev Rive credence to the
cry from1 Chicago that army food is stored
away by those who hope to do some gouging
later And they declare that rising prices
are not planet, but dirigibles inflated by
greed. '
When a Washington
The General Escaped girl tried to kiss Gen
eral Pershing and got
a stranglehold on him she might have made
good if members of his staff hadn't butted
in. The genernl remained unkissed and the
girl lost a hundred dollars. She had wagered
that amount. It was a silly stunt. Satis
faction in the thought that she lost tho
money is tempered by the knowledge that
some other simpleton won it.
Modern women are
Page "cocoon women" apd
Flora McFllmsej! wear too many clothes,
declared a woman spe
cialist in gymnastics addressing the inter
national conference of women physicians in
New York. Let her bide a wee an' dinna
weary. Reports from Paris indicate that in
thp near future lovely woman will be
wearing next to nothing.
A sixteen - year -old
Sweet Sixteen New York girl has
confessed to having
committed fifty burglaries during the last
three months. She netted $0000 in cash and
jewelry and is now out on S2.-500 bail. She
says she worked on nn eight-hour-a-day
schedule and strictly observed the Sabbath.
Verily the way of the transgressor is a
pathway of roses with a cell at the end.
Germany, says Henry
Morgenthau, has been
hardened by war while
U. S. Senate,
Please Note
her enemies are weak
The apathy and foolishness of her
ened.
aforetime adversaries may encourage her to
strike again. In the meantime she hustles
while Mie waits.
The president of the
Never a Strike for French Metal Work
Greater Production ers has vision. And
he has courage. He
told the labor federation convention in
Lyons that what organized labor needed was
to get to work. Happily the world eventu
ally gives ear to John the Baptist crying
in the wilderness.
N
A delegation of Stony
Bid for Stony Stare Indians presented a
wouderful headdress to
the Prince of Wales and made fciima chief
of their tribe. At the present, price of
feather bonnets the hat may be a useful
thing to pawn if the new chief ever goes
Stony broke. " '
Only 40 per cent of the food ordered by
Philadelphians from Uncle Sam, retail
grocer, has been delivered. Somebody ought,
to investigate the grocery clerk, Burleson.'
He needs, among other things, an .acceler"
ator,
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF
Enterprise of Thomas' E. Mitten Had
Its Counterpart In Old Trolley
Line Company In This City
n- oeohoe nox mccain'
IF THE gentlemen who are responsible for
that "Hide With Vs" sign on the trolley
cars are flattering themselves that they are
pulling off 18 new stunt they arc mistaken.
It isn't new.
The same thing was thought out and
worked out thirty years ago. The late John
Lowbcr Welsh, nt the suggestion of Ian Jay
McGnnej, then ft fertile brained young
hewspnper reporter, used the scheme as nn
inducement to get people to ride on the old
Fourth and Klglitli streets line.
Mr Welsh not only placnrded his cars,
and the line of loute, but he utilized the
newspapers to induce walkers to ride. Thc
terminals of the line were at Chestnut Hill
on the north and Snjder avenue on the south.
The fare was ten cents
That fare brought endless protests. "Dele
gations waited upon Mr Welsh from Oer
mnntovn and Nicetown They impressed
Mm with the iden that low fares meant more
riders. He frankly told them the argu
ment was a good one
McGaney expressed his views, after the
delegation had left, to the effect that a
woman with n market basket would spend
fiic cents to ride oftener than if the fare
were ten,
A week later John Lowber Welsh an
noiuued n leduition of fare to Ine cents.
Placaids and sign announced the change.
The" lesult in increased income justified his
judgment.
NOW along romes Thomas E. Mitten
with appeals for more riders. The three,
word legend on the proiv of enih trollcv
is clear-rut rind distinct The anagram,
rebus, annstic. or whnteer the devi cr
the entrance inside mnj be called, is a
waste of good ndcttising space.
1-ooking nt it hastih, any clTcetic adver
tising must he of the Kind that the render
hbsorbs, comprehends, interprets or under
stands instnnth ; one does not know whether
to read it ertically, horizontally ordiag
onally. A'nyhow it is not convincing. I
don't bclicte John I.owber Welsh would
hnve gone hunting trolley rides with a
Chinese puzzle
This is but one of the sjioublcs of trolley
management, though.
The late John II Parsons once enter
tained the idea of n one fare ticket. I
was in his office one day twenty yearR ago
when the ptoiect came tip. The price of nn
exchange ticket was to be base'd on the
distnnee traveledi There were n lot of
difficulties about it, one of which was the
inability to tell which person was entitled,
to the longest ride He dropped it as im
practical. ' There arc a lot of people living in West
Philadelphia who .would be willing, I think,
to shoulder nn increase in taxes under the
Mitten proposition laid before the Public
Service Commission under one condition : '
That the compnnv install half a dozen
benches on each station platform on which
elderly and stout people could rest after
climbing the long stairs.
TF THOMAS A. EDISON makes a new
-"- application of nn old principle, or Nikola
Tesln imcuts nn electrical device which he
hopes will bring Mars nnd the other plnnets
into communication with 'tis, the world
knows all about it through the acthity of
cleer press agents.
Let a surgeon, or an oculist, invent n new
instrument, or nn attorney discoier some
new kink in nn old law, professional ethics
present thein from rccciung the credit they
deserve. It is onlj when a technical paper
before some equnll technical society reveals
the fact that the world becomes acquainted
with the fact.
Which lends me to observe that a Phila
delphia surgeon, Dr L. T. Ashcraft. pro
fessor of genito-unnary surgery at Hahne
mann, has perfected n new surgical device
The fact was disclosed nt the meeting of
the Stnte Homeopithic Medical Society in
this city last week
It is something entirely new. It is de
signed to make possible radium applications
to cancer of certain internal organs, notably
the bladder.
Surgery is making wonderful strides right
here in Philadelphia But the Philadelphia
world, owing to the rigidity of ethicnl
standards,, knows little about it. Dr. W.
W. Keen's work in cranial surgery is known
njl over the outside world. Then there Is
Charles H. Frarier, John B. Deaver. Ernest
LaPIace, John O. Clark, II. L. Northrop,
It. G. Le Conte and G. A. Van r.ennpn.
whose names are familiar to the medicaf
profession over the entire hemisphere.
There is not a town of any importance in r
the United States in which the name of some-
-one of these men is not known in medical
circles.
In Mexico Cit and Caracas I have heard
those of Keen, LaPlacc and Deaver uttered
by physicians with the saie familiarity as
though they lived in a neighboring block.
-p EV. DR. R. S. SNYDER, of the First
j-v I'resoyterian rnurch, Ocean City, was
In Philadelphia the other day. It was
the first time since he arrived home from
"over there" last Julv.
For months Chaplain Snyder was sta
tioned in Texas at one of the concentration
camps. Then he went to France to look
after the interests of our returning soldiers.
For a while he was chapmln of the Eighth
Division,
Doctor Snyder is a brqther-in-law of
Harry Davis, the widely known baseball
player, scrap iron broker and politician.
He is also a warm personal friend of Dr.
H. Croskey Allen, late major in the medical
service, now of Norristown, and of Dr. II.
P. Keely, former treasurer of Montgomery
county, and Dr. H R. Loux, of Jefferson
Medical College, and a lot of others that
might be mentioned.
Doctor Snyder was educated at Ursinus
College and the Reformed Theological Semi
nary. He has hundreds of friends who will
be glad to know that his abilities have been
recognized by the bestowal upon him of the
degree of doctor of divinity.
My association of his name with the above
doctors, is due to the fact that the trusttes
nnd faculty of Anselmo University, Cali
fornia, gave him hk degree while he was in
France as Chaplain Snyder.
Attorney General Palmer's suggestion
of a ""six months' Industrial armistice Is
packed too tightly with common sense to
meet with general commendation. The in
dustrial world has its mouth set for didoes.
Paulsboro boasts a hen' that, so far
this month has laid thirteen double yolk
and four triple yolk eggs. A conscientious
chicken this. At the present price 'of eggs
she wants to give plenty for tne" money.
'
Camden citizens will probably find the
boycott, of street cars more efficacious than
rioting, with the added advantage that the
law will not interfere.
When the President minimi Tvt. In
J4afen et the league of nations be k stejl-
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THE CHAFFING DISH
As to Puns
TJEYWOOD BROUN, a gentleman of in--"
sight nnd shrewd observation, has taken
up the cudgels in behalf of the pun. "Not
to like puns," he says, "is an acquired
taste." Particularly he is genial toward
bad puns. We agree with hiu that a really
outrageous and ntrocious pun often affords
a kind of ecstasy. We regard ourself as
somewhat of nn authority on this matter.
The greatest collection of puns ever struck
l?C!hlXV: SL"d 1?li,.,:rir,ldt !
"Faithless Nelly Gray," and its companion
piece, "iaitliless Hally Hrown.
After
these one hns to turn to the works of F
C.
Iturnand, the famous editor of Puiicn, for
second trest. The pun has never flourished
as bravely on American soil as it does in
England, we fancy. Mark Twain was not
n punster. Byron spoke of some one
"hatching a pun." This was wisely said.
Most puns do not come spinning to the sur
face, but are carefully and painfully incu
bated. As for the word, we have no idea
what it comes from. It seems to be of long
history, for John Dennis used it over two
hundred years ago. Oliver Wendell Holmes'
said "People that make puns arc like
wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad
tracks." '' This is so mild a condemnation
(for the coppers don't hurt the train and
the result amuses the boys) that we suspect
the doctor didn't feel very strongly about it.
In fact, he committed a very lukewarm pun
himself in his poem, "The Height of the
Ridiculous":
"These to the printer," I exclaimed,
And, In my humorous way,
I added, (as a trifling jest)
"There'll be the devil to pay."
The Market
LIGHTS and mingled odors, and long
1 rows
Of high-piled counters redolent of food
Jumbled green and orange, apples red,
And purple giant turnips tipped with white ;
People jammed in wavering serpent lines,
White "and yellow and black, and shades be
tween Half the city is here tonight, buying,
Saturday night, stocking up for Sunday.
F.T baggy wives with velvet hsts
Black and bedrmggle-feathered, thick in
dust,
Resting wicker baskets on their paunches,
Waddllrfls two by two, and gossiping ;
Little grandmothers, Russia-born, and bent,
Their white wisped hair caught tight by a
tawny shawl, i
Their swarthy cheeks hollow and toothless,
lined ; '
Shiny black mammies, yellow girls
All dolled'up In lavender and spats.
Old Uncle Charlie, paralytic, crippled,
With'hls big-eyed pickaninnies on his arm.
M1
ISS PRISCILLA, prim and quite old-
fashioned.
Trips 'consciously along, not unashamed
To think that poverty should bring her here,
To chaffer with the market bargainers,
And jostle shoulders with the common mob j
VOU are younff, you two walking to-
, gether,
And married, not more than a year or so
at most j-"
Your eye is a trifle too bright, my boy,
and your face
Too pale and thin and hard the glamour
is past
And bills must be paid every penny counts.
AND you, gray ged lovers, 'tottering,
. You have braved together many a storm,
. and still '
You cling tq each other's arm, and quaver-
" lngly s
Shrink as the rrowd flaunts by, unheeding
you,
v,.jHmLwmgsm
HEAR YOU CALLING ME
6TStj
Vf. 2-V ! ft.
Who peers through lenses thick and broadly
curved,
Is the great Arabic scholar, Professor Flu-
ellcn,
Who carries, forsooth, his leeks in a leather
suitcase,
Disdaining a basket.
APPLES, oranges,
nut-finked
sweets sticky and
Cabbages, onions,
and the wine -cheeked
0-t lol of ruddy beef and doT-rid.
beet;
hams
Silver-bellied
bass
trout and the blue-scaled
It might be old London now, with its nar
row ways
And open shops I can almost think I hear
The vendors crying their immemorial calls :
"What do ye lack, my masters? What do
ye lack?"
OLD MOTHER MULDOON is ladling
hominy,
White and stringy, from a tub, with a
half-pint measure
That overflows, dripping down in a pan.
She's a jolly gay body but tonight
Her mobile lips twitch and quiver quickly
Her only daughter died three days ago.
mHAT little country girl, thel Johnson,
-- Behind the mound of eggs long strictly
fresh,
Smiles' with a wonderful radiance, for Jack,
The butter-boy, has whispered loving words,
And she carf scarcely keep her eyes away
from him.
CORPORAL -JIM that ancient-faced
young man t
Wrapping up bread always sits on a chair
Back of the counter the better halves of
his legs
Are burled somewhere back in the Argonne
Forest ;
And there he left his youthful joyousness.
MOTHER AlULDOON and Ethel and
"Corporal Jim
And a score or two more Schwitzer, the
hot-dog man,
Whpse son has studied symphonies In Berlin ;
Great-bearded Isaac, guarding iiving fowls,
Dreams of Zion while he folds his dollars,
And plans a flat in the new-won city oGod.
And Tony, vending peanuts piping hot,
Is heart and soul 'in olived Italy,
It's a whole world, this imarket-place to
night. J. M. BEATTY,
We are eagerly awaiting the most delicious
odor that ever glads the nostrils of. man
the scent of roasting chestnuts. In the mean
while, we solace ourself by strolling through
Washington Square to enjoy the fragrance
of burning leaves. When they are not burn
ing leaves out in the square we have to -fall
back on the fume of burning leaves In our
Pipe.
Which reminds us of something we have
long, meant to mention. Our objection to' a
curved-stem pipe is that when It gets
clogged and we puff and blow in an endeavor
"to cleanvoit the stem we usually waft a
fragment of nicotine-soaked' tobacco into our
left eye and "endure ten minutes of blood
shot agony, Now this may be due to the
fact that our-favorite pipe )ias a very pe
culiar shape. It was originally a curve-
stem implement, but one day the stem fell
Into a kettle of-boiling wuter' and straight
ened oat. The result is that) the curve, of
the pipe, smoked at the end of a straight
stera, points the bowl directly at our eye.
Anyway, we tbiight we would jhst mention
It as an evidence that life Is full of per-
piexuj.
' SOCRATES.
President Wilson has sent President
CtrrssM his crdil felicitations on the
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THE DEAD MARCH IN FALL
rpHE corn is brown, the last late rcse
Has dropped Its velvet leaves,
The caterpillar for itself
A shroud of satin weaves. , "
The blood of dying summer stains
The Ivy on Jhe wall,
And in the early morn we miss
The robin's merry call.
The cricket scrapes his tdolin
Beside the garden gate,
The katydid her graphophone
Keeps going long and late,
The melancholy fall bug pipes
From branches turning sere ;
Thus plays the sylvan orchestra
The dead march of the year.
Minna Irving, In the New York Sun. '
The French Chamber of Deputies has
expressed appreciation of the resolution
passed by the Urited States House of Rep
resentatives in recognition of July 14.
Hands across the sea with the right grip.
The United Tenants' Protective Asso
ciation has demonstrated that a "shoe
string" Is the most expensive commodity on'
the market.
When Foch and Clemenceau come to
this country every three cheers will include
a tiger. . "
When D'Annunzlo calms down it may
be possible to determine the difference be
tween the divine afflatus and a brainstorm.
Sartor Resartus?
is still on.
Not yet. The strike
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. What Is fneant by "sending a man to
Coventry"?
2. What is a .counter-tenor In music? i
.t3.
4.
S.
Into how many zones 1s the earth
divided?
What are their names?
i
i
Who has been the head of.the .United
States investigating commission 'in
Poland?
Does ice expand or contract on being
heated?
What book is accounted the master
piece of all biographies?
What are persiennes?
6.
8.
. 0. What is a retrousse nose?
10. What is the largest city in Kansas?
i ssaw
Answers to Saturday's Quiz
X. Capon lawis a code of rules agreed to
by a church and in opposition 'to tra
ditional rules, serving as the absolute
rule of faith and .life.'"" The word
'canon1' Is Greek for'"rule.r
2. French is the language 'of Haltl.
3. ThV British empire, 'acting for -all Its
colonies and dependencies, has cjne
vpte, in the council of the 'league of
nations.'
4. Giovanni da Verrazzano was. an Ital
ian navigator who explored the coast
of North America from Iforth Caro
lina to Newfoundland in 1524. He
discovered New' York' bay.
6. Daniel Webster represented Massachu
setts Iu the "United States Senate.
0, Permutation Is a mathematical feru
describing variation of,th.e order of 1
i set of things lineally arranged or any
one such arrangement.
7. Gumbo soup Is a table specialty charac
teristic of New Orleans.
8. The Bulgarian indemnity has been fixed
at $450,000,000.
0, The Dead sea is a salt lake In Palestine),
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