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10
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGERr-PHILADELPHIA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 1919
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PAYID E. BU1LET . . Editor
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A GOOD USE FOR JAILS
pONFERENCKS like thnt held here
'"' yesterday by Attorney General
Palmer and others interested directly in
the reduction of living costs show clearly
that federal departments are now rela
tively helpless and that, like the public at
large, they must turn to Congress for
assistance in the emergency.
The food administration cannot be or
ganized with volunteers. War psychology
gave Mr. Hoover's organization its
potency. The war is supposed to be
over. Existing laws are inadequate to
meet the needs of the hour. It is the im
perative duty of Congress to concentrate
its attention on this one towering ques
tion. When laws are made to curb the food
gamblers they ought to provide not fines
alone, but jail sentences. Fines are
easily paid if you happen to be making
millions in illicit profits. But there arc
a good many plungers in the food mar
kets who might go slower if they were
confronted with the prospect of ten years
at Atlanta.
THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION
TN NAMING a candidate for Mayor the
Democratic city committee preserves a
harmless tradition. Harry D. Wcscott,
son of former Attorney General Wescott,
of New Jersey, its choice this year, is re
garded as able and he is well liked in the
community. So far as politics goes, how
ever, it is evident that sentiment is one
of his chief attributes.
For sentiment alone must be the mo
tive of any one accepting a Democratic
nomination for municipal office here un-
-- . less, as has sometimes happened in the
jj, past, political bartering has been the
a motive. The city is Republican and will
Jf remain so.
..J T"Ma van mAn U ..- I r. U .,
i but) muit; UMiii etui, ; Hie ffl.lt--
f tical futility of writing a Democratic
ticket evident. An anti-machine candi
date who is also a Republican is the type
that appeals most to the best ranks of
the Philadelphia electorate. Such a
nominee for Mayor is in prospect in J.
Hampton Moore.
A quaint parody of the rcully signifi
cant campaign here is provided in the
fact that the Democratic primaries are
to have their little battle. Mr. Wescott's
rival, supported by the "Bonniwell Demo
crats," is former Congressman Michael
Donohoe.
The outcome, so far as the future gov
ernment of Philadelphia is concerned, is
of no consequence. The most that the
little group of willful local Democrats
can hope for is that their party will not
be used here for base trading schemes.
Under the old Ryan-Donnelly domination
its extinction was morally preferable to
its existence.
r V A JUUUt IN A t-uu
JUDGE PATTERSON did not say that
because it was comfortable, especially
in face of an uncertainty. That kind of
talk would at least have been understand
able. The five reasons which he does give
are not.
His "firstly" expresses deep concern
for pending cases before him "that have
not been decided." Such sensitiveness is
somewhat belated. It failed to disturb
him sufficiently to deter him from play
ing a role which, if the public should sup
port him, would eventually lead to his
. retirement, irom me juagesnip to wnicn
he now so affectionately clings.
His "secondly" evinces ignorance of "a
judge resigning without finishing the
public business before him." He appar
ently never heard, of course, of Charles
EVans Hughes and Alton B. Parker, two
of the many who drew the sharp line
between the impartiality of the judiciary
and the special pleading of politics. His
reference to other sitting judges who are
running to succeed themselves is beside
the point and puerile.
His, "thirdly" emphasizes itgard for
the people of Philadelphia who elected
him a judge. But what then will be their
feelings if he throws down that office in
November?
His "fourthly" points to the desires of
members of the bar that he should hang
on until election day. Naturally the
amiable judge has friends. But what is
fche bearing of that fact on the actual
merits of the question involved?
His "fifthly" cites "the right of the
humblest citizen to run for office."
Sure. He is entitled, if he likes, to be a
candidate for Mayor. But he defies all
good precedent and practice here by re
, taining a judge's commisbion during his
campaign. This is indeed, as he says,
''the land of opportunity." Nothing
would make that clearer than an oppor
tune resignation.
LAWLESSNESS DE LUXE
TIJJF, everything else that appeals on
.samfivUt reason, the New York stTeet-ear
strike served a good purpose in the final
analysis. .
Llko the recent imperial gestures of
the railway brotherhoods, it helped to
wake the pcoplo up. It permitted them
to get a good look at the powers that
threaten to make life intolerable for
them. Conscienceless labor leaders on
one hand and conscienceless corporation
men on the other were shown frantically
trying to outdo each other in n tussle
for loot.
The public, which suffered acutely, can
not but wo wiser now and better able to
deal with the whole general problem of
utilities. If the militant capitalists and
militant labor leaders find themselves left
before long without the public sympathy
that is necessary to the survival of any
organization in this country they will
have such demonstrations as that re
cently made in New York to blame for
the disaster.
Tho general public is organized, too.
Its union representatives sit in the Legis
latures and in Congress. The vehicle of
its purpose is the law of the land. Sooner
or later it will institute leprisals and in
sist upon justice, and its leaders will have
to do its bidding. Then we shall see
something new in the way of united no
tion. MR. TAFT BUILT THE BRIDGE
FROM WHITE HOUSE TO CAPITOL
The President and the Senators Meet on
His Conciliatory Plan for
"Interpretations"
TXTHEN the history of the ratification
''of the peace treaty is written the
credit for harmonizing the differences be
tween the President and the Senate will
without doubt be given to William How
ard Taft.
In his famous letter to Will H. Hays,
chairman of the Republican national com
mittee, Mr. Taft suggested that in order
to remove any misapprehension about the
American understanding of the treaty
tho ratifying resolution should be ac
companied by a scries of "interpreting
paragraphs." Until he made tho sugges
tion there had been talk of nothing but
"reservations."
Reservations are radically different
from interpretations. They involve a re
fusal to assent to a proposition in its
original form. Interpretations involve
merely an explanation of the understand
ing of the meaning of the proposition to
which one assents.
The word "interpretation" is the bridge
across the chasm between the Capitol and
the White House.
The President made this clear in his
conference with the Senate committee on
foreign relations yesterday afternoon.
After suggesting certain explanations of
the meaning of the most discussed arti
cles of the covenant of the league of na
tions he remarked:
"There can be no reasonable objection
to such interpretations accompanying the
act of ratification, provided they do not
form a part of the formal ratification
itself."
Whether they form a part of the rati
fying resolution or not seems to be a
detail of little consequence. The point
to be noted at this time is that the Presi
dent, after having let it be understood
that he was opposed to everything but a
categorical assent to the treaty as a
whole, has decided to meet the wishes of
the Senate so far as to agree with those
senators who desire by clarifying expla
nations to make it sure that the United
States surrenders no essential rights and
binds itself in no unconstitutional way to
obligations which it is not willing to bear.
Tho President was most conciliatoiy in
his formal address and in his answer to
the questions put to him afterward. He
reminded the committee that when he
met its members last March and dis
cussed with them the first draft of the
league covenant they made certain objec
tions to it. An attempt had been made,
he said, to meet those objections. The
Monroe Doctrine has been safeguarded in
language which seemed to the peace com
missioners adequate to exempt it from
the jurisdiction of tho league. The inter
ference by the league in domestic ques
tions, such as immigration, the tariff and
naturalization, had been forbidden. The
United States was not the only power
interested in the preservation of its right
to fix its own policy in these matters.
The right of a state to withdraw from the
league was clearly defined and there was
nobody created which could question that
right or could prevent a nation from
withdrawing when it chose and under
such conditions as satisfied its sense of
national honor.
And Article X, which guarantees the
territorial integrity of the members of
the league from external aggression,
placed no legal obligation on any nation
to act in accordance with the advice of
the council. The President explained he
had been at especial pains to mako it per
fectly clear to the conference that the
final action of America rested with Con
gress under our constitution. He in
sisted, of course, that Article X was the
very backbone of the league and thnt
without it "the league would be hardly
more than an influential debating so
ciety." Tho President is clearly willing that
the interpretations shall make it clear
that the Monroe Doctrine is exempt from
league jurisdiction, that internal ques
tions of internal policy shall not be con
sidered by the league council and that
the United States is not expected to take
any action under Article X without the
express direction of Congress.
These are substantially the interpreta
tions which Mr. Taft suggested not quite
a month ago. They embody the under
standing of a majority of the Senate re
garding the meaning of the treaty and
they do not modify its provisions in any
particular.
When the President asked a commit
tee of members of the League to Enforce
Peace to consider the question of inter
pretations a week or so ago his formal
approval of such n course as Mr. Taft
had suggested was foreshadowed. Con
sequently the conference at the White
House yesterday may be regarded as re
moving allpossible doubt about the early
ratification of the treaty in such a way
as to save the face of those supersensi
tive senators who were timid about it in
the first place.
The Democratic senators, with, one and
pdssibly two exceptions, will vote for jfc,
About twenty-flvo Republicans arc
needed to make the necessary two-thirds
majority. Knox and Lodge and Brando
gee and Borah may vote against the
treaty till the cows come home without
being able to defcut it, provided twenty
five of their Republican brethren disagree
with them. The irrcconcilablcs may be
expected to fight to the last ditch for
reservations, which, as the President
points out, would delay ratification nil
around and postpone the restoration of
peace conditions, without which the or
derly processes of industry cannot be re
sumed and without which it will be im
possible to restore American trade rela
tions with Gcrmnny. But the Irrccon
cilablcs cannot defeat it.
It is morally certain that the foreign
relations committee will report the treaty
to the full Senate in the near future.
Then, after each senator has freed his
mind upon it, the final vote will be taken.
Tho discussion thus far hag not been
without value. It has clarified the think
ing of the Senate and the longer it con
tinued the clearer it became that the
Peace Conference, performed a difficult
task with surprising wisdom. It is not
such a treaty as Mr. Wilson would have
written if left to himself, nor such as
would have been written by Senator
Lodge or Lloyd George or Clemcnccau or
Orlando or any one else. They all admit
that it is made up of compromises and
concessions. There is sense enough in
the Senate to refrain from trying to re
write the whole document as it would
have it without considering th wishes
of any other nation.
It has already been ratified by Eng
land. When it is ratified by the United
States and France all its provisions will
go into effect. The ratification by the
United States will hasten the approval
by France. It is of so great importance
thnt the United States be a party to it
and be a member of the league of nations
that it is not at all likely that any power
will question the interpretations which
we put upon it. Rather, they will all say
that they understand it to mean just what
we say it means.
Thus .out of all the babel and confu
sion, the denunciation and recrimina
tion, the bitterness and spleen which ac
companied the formation and considera
tion of this remarkable document, at
last come order and rationality and calm
ness just as the average man thought it
would all along; and much of the credit
for this happy approaching consumma
tion must be awarded to the reason, dis
cretion and sound judgment of the great
est Republican statesman in or out of the
Senate Mr. Taft.
DIVIDENDS FROM GOOD NATURE?
SINCE August, 1918, $3,000,000 has
been added voluntarily to the wages of
the P. R. T. employes. There have been
no strikes and rumors of an agitation for
eight-cent fares proved to be unfounded.
A letter from Mr. Mitten to the working
force of the lines explains these happy
circumstances. It is an odd sort of let
ter to read in the light of what is going
on in New York and New Jersey street
car lines.
"We want more rides at five cents, not
less rides at a higher fare," writes the
P. R. T.'s president. Trolley crews are
asked to be amiable with patrons. A
ride on a street car is to be made "a
pleasant experience." That will be diffi
cult in the rush hours, but perhaps it can
be managed. The motorman will keep
his eye alert for passengers on sparse
corners. He is asked to pass none of
them, but to "catch" all short-distance
riders and "pick up all the nickels."
Smiling pleasantly he will waft each con
tented citizen to his destination without
delay and slip another nickel into tho
company treasury instead of letting it lie
in the pocket of an angry walker.
Here is a bright new policy of sales
manship. There arc car rides for sale
under a theory of big business and small
profits. Everybody is to be made happy
if the tiling can bo done. The sleety
minded old buccaneers who used to run
street railways twenty years ago would
have called all this visionary and that
is why they are extinct. The newer doc
trine is bringing in the money, keeping
fares down and wages up.
Those who are still
Echoes banking on Kolchak
might feel a bit more
comfortable if the latest military dictator
in Russia wore not talking in a vein strongly
siiRROstive of (ionoriil Ludcndorff's outgiv
ings in the days when his army was re
tiring 'triumphantly" to defeat and chnoa.
II begins to look as if
The Public the stage strike will be
Is I'aiient vttled nmicably. Will
audiences ever strike?
Who uill lend n public demonstration
against managers, authors and aclors alike
In insist, let us say. upon one good play,
one good song and one new joke a year?
I'erhaps the theory is that food hoarders
uill become scared by reading of the nu
merous schemes to drive them out of busi
ness. The farmers knocked the daj light out of
majority rule when the House passed the
bill repealing daj light saving.
He is a wise witness who reads a pre
pared statement before submitting to cross
exuininatiou. All too soon there will be nothing left
of I'ncle Sam's entry into the grocery busi
ness but u beggarly array of empty cans.
Wonder if the senators thought they
weie going to have another Henry Ford on
the stand?
The purchase of a home by the ex-kaiser
Is expressive of a doubt that the Allies will
provide him with one.
The President's refusal to confer with
them adds a drop of bitterness to the Cali
fornia wine growers' cup.
Having won his strike, ,thc wise New
York street-ear man will follow his own
advice and mind his step.
Judge Patterson has decided to remain
on the bench. Then how can he expect to
make a hit or a run?
Archduke Joseph of Hungary is n dic
tator who readily submits to dictation.
Wnuii't it atmnlv nivfnl if tlmt I ti...i
l ,...".. . .- ,- ........ ... .,.. , n,,-t,
1 Stair officer iu Mexico to bunco a bandit?
CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S
LETTER
Shipping Board Keeps Cuban Sugar
Out of the Market Interest of
Physicians In the May
oralty Fight
rnHH high cost of living Is the big thing
now. Many remedies are suggested, but
there are some who hold that nothing short
of a financial catastrophe f some sort or
other will bring prices down. Internation
alism h suggested by others, n leveling, as
it were, of economic conditions very inurh
as President Wilson proposed in one of hli
earlier messages. Attorney (Jencral I'almcr
is talking tight, but up to date little has
been done In the way of prosecutions. Why?
For one thing, it is difficult to throw n stone
at profiteers without hitting somebody who
is close to court. While in Philadelphia the
other day, Mr. Palmer talked about the
price of sugar. lie thought the sugar condi
tions outrageous, and yet we are told here that
certain operators hnve volunteered to bring
sugar from Cuba to relieve the situation,
but are held down by the shipping board.
The shipping board has been under suspi
cion for some time because of Its interna
tional relationship-". It is clear as n whistle
that foodstuff are going lo waste in Florida
nnd on Islands like I'orto Itico because trans
portation cannot be had. Congress has ap
pointed a live investigating committee, with
Joseph Walsh, of Massachusetts, nt the head,
nnd we will know more about ships and
shipping conditions when it gets under full
swing. The committee is stnrting its work
iu California and Washington, but it will
come Kast in due course. The cost of con
struction nnd waste which enter into the
cost of living ultimately are among the
things to be investigated.
JOHN P.. PARSONS has passed away. He
was one of those semipublic men who
earned his way to distinction. He was never
too proud lo let it be known that he had
started as a car conductor. When ho became
head of the traction lines he knew the busi
ness, and thnt is why Widener and Elkins
likerl him. It's a good thing to have that
kind of foundation. Thnt's the way the Diss
ton' Saw Works developed in Tacony. The
Disslon boys usunlly started right. They
knew how to make saws beforn they under
took lo manage the big business.
QJAMCDL KDELMAN. a bright joungster
from Ihe Third District, obtained an ap
pointment to West Point, some jenrs ago,
but did the unusual thing of resigning lo
go into the consular service. All through the
war Kdelman. who had become an accom
plished linguist, speaking seven or eight
languages, was most useful to the State De
partment. There were times when he was
obliged in the Far Fast to mix with pashas
and other oriental potentates as if he were
one of them, and nil this on u salary which
ranged from $1!00 to about iKM) at the
best. When the Turks were assaulting the
Armenians early in the war Kdelman was
of great service in saving life. Sometimes
by reason of his acquaintanceship he was
aide to stay the hand of the avenger against
whole colonies. Hut the government is not
a liberal employer, nnd Kdelman, who mar
ried an Knglish girl nnd is now a happy
father, after waiting for the government to
recognize fittingly his services, bus gone
into a Near Fast entei prise which is sup
ported very largely by Charles .1. Webb, the
Philadelphia wool man.
PHILADELPHIA medical men are taking
a lively interest in the mnjoralty cam
paign. Some of them do not like the way
the coroner's office has been conducted, but
most of them are anxious to have the city
cleaned up. Doctor Anders, who was a lead
er in the movement for clean streets, attrib
uted the "flu" very largely to the germ
laden thoroughfares. It is a curious thing,
but the opiuion holds in the medical profes
sion that the healthier people are the better
it is for the doctors, and looking at it from
the practical apart from the humanitarian
viewpoint, it is reasonable to presume thnt
the people are more cheerful payers when
they are happy and prosperous. They are
not so well able to pay when the town is
overrun by an epidemic. But as to the
majoralty campaign, listen to Dr. L. Web
ster Fox. who has been summering in Col
orado: "Wherever 1 go I hear constantly
quoted against us that horrible slogan 'cor
rupt and contented.' This blot on the es
cutcheon of Philadelphia must be wiped out."
TOH" McWADE is out in Idaho. He is
-E-) "conciliating" for the Department of
Labor. Robert says the political power of
organized labor is growing immensely nnd
that many of the labor leaders look to tho
pab6ing away of the two great political par
ties. He says the universally exorbitant
prices demanded by unprincipled and avari
cious profiteers for food of all kinds nrc
the chief cause of labor unrest. He looks
for the creation of new political parties, and
gives Senator Miles Poindexter a bigger send
off than any other man in the Northwest.
He says Poindexter is stronger than "pretty
Hill liorah."
CONGRESSMAN VAKE'S announcement
that he does not want state honors, but
prefers to remain in Washington until he
can become chairman of the all-important
committee on appropriations, is a topic of
interest in Washington. Mr. Vnre was put
on Jlhe appropriation committee shortly after
his arrival in Congress upon the relinquish
ment of that honor by W. W. Griest. of
Lancaster, who had prior claim to it, but
who was satisfied to remain on the
committee on postofficqs nnd postroads, Mr.
Vare went on at the foot of the list like
all other new members with a reasonable
possibility of reaching the chairmanship at
a remote period, but swift changes in mem
bers ranking above him occurred. Several
were defeated; the head man, Mr. (illicit,
was elected speaker; another prior member,
Mr. Mondell, of Wyoming, was elected lead
pr, until finally the list stood Good, of Iowa,
first; Davis, of Minnesota, second, and Vare,
of Pennsylvania, third. That left Uncle Joe
Cannon, who came back to Congress after
Vare was put on the committee, behind the
latter. Today, therefore, Mr. Vare stands
very close to being chairman.
SENATOR PENROSE has not been able
to help out ery much in the leaguc-of-nations
fight because of "pressing business,"
which keeps him in Philadelphia and New
York. Senator Lodge and others of the Re
publican leaders are hoping for his return,
because his judgment and influence in party
matters arc appreciated more than is gen
erally understood at home. The Washing
ton "statesmen, who have learned to enjoy
the senior senator's wit in debate, are be
ginning to think Pennsylvania has an end-less-chain
campaign. They do not under
stand what it means to be up against the
Vares, the Lanes nnd the Martins us much
an Penrose does. They know about the Vares
and they enjoy the touches of philosophy
that percolate through the papers from Uucle
Dave Lane, but they really wish thnt Penn
sylvania factionalism might come to an end.
The judge evidently believes lu having
an anchor to windward, even if It does seem
to show a belief that its opponent will be
I elected.
ALL THE THRILLERS DON'T HAPPEN IN MEXICO
iiil1'1'' AM yS
- is captur&d by
BANDITS 3nd . afr- expert
dreadful to here Jijcuj,
THE CHAFFING DISH
News Item in 2019
Washington. Aug. 'JO.--The American pu
nitive expedition into Mexico, to chastise
the insolent bandits who recently dropped
mothballs on the Secretary of War from an
airplane, crossed the border this morning.
The War Department has addressed to the
Mexican (!ocrnmcnt one of the most strin
gent notes ever compiled.
Lost and Found
LOST: The good old tlajs. Liberal re
ward for return of same and no embarrassing
questions asked. Everj'bodj. Everywhere.
North Pi'iin I'.ank busters must be grateful
to their fellow-plunderers the Mexican ban
dits for relieving them of some of the un
enviable space on the front page.
Every one must wish that the $7."IIO saved
by Captain Matlack when he rescued Lieu
tenant Davis could be divided between them.
Hut the voucher for that money will prob
ably be passcil round the offices of the War
Department for fifty years and O.K'd and
referred and tiled a thousand times.
One of the fellows who ought to be com
mitted for contempt of courtship is the dmp
who married eight women and says he con
ducted all his wooing in n ?-'(! sack suit.
Another man we have it in for is the one
who sews the buttons on Pal in Peach suits.
It seems to us that a week is such a brief
career for a trouser button.
We hope that when the Kaiser really does
leave Ainerongen Mrs. llcutiuck will be able
to get a nice long vacation. Fall house
cleaning will be coming ulnnn soou, the
winter curtains will have to be put up, anil
it would be such a relief to know whether
the spare room will have to be done over.
And Tongue Sandwich Is 15 Cents
Everybody knows the little pay-checks that
ton get in the lunchrooms, the kind that
say nt the bottom, "Please Pay Highest
Amount Punched lo the Cashier." We
thought it was a very sinister omen when
we saw the other day that a lunchroom we
frequent had laid in a new stock of these
checks. The "'Highest Amount" printed mi
the old checks was seveuty cents, but the
new kind run up lo a dollar.
Bring Them Along
Dear Socrates: When my father died he
bequeathed me a steady income of three Ideas
a year. The course of my business does
not compel me to use these up very rapidly,
and It has occurred to me that some of the
surplus might be intern! to you. I have been
hoarding them, I wonder what they would
be worth lo jou? t.ODFREV.
The Downfall of George Snipe
A Story With a Concealed Moral
GEORGE SNIPE was an ardent book
lover, and sat in the smoking car iu a
state of suspended ecstasy. He had been
invited out lo Mandrake Park to visit the
library of Mr. Genial Girth, the well-known
collector of rare autographed books. De
voted amateur of literature as he was,
George's humble career rarely brought him
into contact with bookish treasures, and n
tremulous, excitement swnm through his brain
as he thought of the glories he was about
to see. In his devout meditation the train
carried him a station beyond his alighting
place, and he ran frautically back through
the well-groomed suburban countryside in
order to reach Mr. Girth's homo ou time.
They went through the library together.
Mr. Girth displayed all his fascinating prizes
with generbun good nature, and George grew
excited. The palms of his hands were clammy
with agitation. All round the room, 'en
cased in scarlet slip-covers of tooled morocco,
on fireproof shelves, were the priceless booty
of the collector. Here waa Charles Lamb's
Kuinya ot Ella, inscribed by the author to
the woman he loved. Here tra a copy J
meA... y-jMrM .
-tnt (.' -stjBm rv- vj joro&uish imr i. i
enceo" too s.r SA i'
lnt 1
Paradise Lost, signed by John, Milton. Here
was a "Hamlet" given by Shakespeare to
Ilaeon with the inscription, "Dear Frank,
don't you wish you could have written some
thing like this?" Here waB the unpublished
manuscript of a story by Robert Louis Ste
venson. Here was a note written by Doc
tor Johnson to the landlord of the Cheshire
Cheese, refusing to pay a bill nnd accusing
the tavern-keeper of profiteering. Here
were Milumcs autographed by Goldsmith,
Keats. Shelley. Poe, Ilyron, DeFoe. Swift,
Dickens. Thackeray and all the other great
figures of modern literature.
Poor George's agitation became painful.
His head buzzed as he surveyed the faded
signatures of all these men who had become
the living figures of his day-drcains. His
eye rolled .-Hilly in its orbit. Just then
Mr. Girth was called out of the room, and
left George alone among the treasures.
Just at what instant the mania seized
him we shall uever know. There were
pen and an inkpot on the table, and tho
frenzied lover of books dipped the quill deep
in the dark bine fluid. He ran eagerly to
the shelves. The first volume he saw was
a copy of "Lornn Doone." In' it he wrote
"Affectionately yours, R. D. Hlackmorc."
Then came Longfellow's poems. He scrawled
"With deep esteem, Henry W. Longfellow"
on the flyleaf. Then three volumes of Ma
caulay's "History of Eugland." In the first
he jotted "I have always wanted you to
hnve these admirable books, T. II. M." In
"The Mill on the Kloss" he wrote "This
comes to you still warm from the press,
George Eliot." The next book happened to
be a copy of Edgar Guest's poems. In this
he inscribed "You are the host I love the
best. This is my boast. Yours, Edgar Guest."
In a copy of Browning's Poems he wrote
"To my dear and only wife, Elizabeth, from
her devoted Robert." In a pamphlet reprint
'of the Gettysburg Speech he penned "This is
straight stuff, A. Lincoln." Hut perhaps
his most triumphant exploit was signing a
copy of the Rubnijat thus: "This book is
given to the Auti-Saloon League of Naisha
pur by that thorn in their side, O. Khay
j u m."
lly the time the ambulance reached Mr.
Girth's home (Jeorge was completely beyond
control. He was taken away screaming bc
cu use he had not had a chance to autograph
a copy of The Songs of Solomon.
Notes In Independence Square
The Chaffing Dish, always first with the
news that really matters, paid a call on
Fred Hckersburg and George Illoom, the
friendly engineer and carpenter who reside
iu the basement of Independence Hall. They
informed us that searchlights are about to
be erected on the roof of the Hall, to light
up the tower nt night. When this news gets
into the papers, as it will shortly, you nrc
privileged to remark that you read it first
iu the Dish.
Fred and George arc always hospitable,
and urge the wayfarer to tarry a while.
Fred can always dig tip something Interesting
from his remarkable collection of relics.
With a mystic air lie produced a dangerous
looking tlask, cased iu wlckir. Our heart
reared up, and for a moment we thought that
here, iu the very palladium and bullseyc of
Ihe American constitution, we were to have
a chance to thwart the eighteenth amend
ment. Wc shook the fJngon, expecting to
hear a swash and swirling of good cheer.
Empty. We looked Inquiringly at Fred, and
he explained that it was tho II ask in which
water from the Washington Sprlog nt Valley
Forge was brought to Independence Hall
on the Fourth of July a few years ago, for
Presldem Wilson to drink.
It looks as though George Washington,
who is now lying under canvas on tho west
side of Independence Hall, is going to keep
his lowly and Inglorious posture for some
time. For we observe that a neat little
wooden crafct ku toe built round him,
BCCSATEA-
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1
NEXT TO NOTHING
When Miss McFlimny once inveighed against
a lack sartorial
That minimized enjoyment of a femiuin
display
She voiced the cry of Mother Eve who in
grove arboreal
Put lig-leaves on the fashion plate, to ruli
there for a day.
In silk or fig-leaf petticoat
Upon hyperbole they dote 1
And so I earnestly deelnre
That when they say they've naughl lo wear
They mean just next to nothing!
Dear Eve and Flora ! Ulcss your hcarti,
each of you is the prototype
Of girlies of today we see iu ballroom,
beach or street,
lu arms and necks and shoulder-blades you'll
very quickly note a typo
Of feminine complaint that's old as it la
sometimes sweet.
The girls of old were sometimes free
Indulging in hjperbolc;
Hut modern girlies, I declare. j
Are right in saying that they wear -Well
really next to nothing!
GRIF ALEXANDER.
Judge Patterson's live reasons for not
quitting the beuch are discounted by the.
one reason that such quittance would b
right and proper.
Have you patronized Uncle Sam's bar
gain counter yet?
When the cider is hard it is soft for .
the toiler.
A sinner is more endurable than a baint
with a grievance.
What Do You Knoiv?
QUIZ
1. What army is replacing the American
troops which arc evacuating the Rhln
area?
1'. Who wrote that in Eugland it was
necessary to execute an admlrul now
and then "to encourage the others"?
If. Who was called the "Napoleon of
Mexico"?
1. What is said to be the origin of the
word jingo?
5. Which is the deepest of the Great Lakes?
(I. Who succeeded Lord Teunysou as poet
laureate of England?
7. Who was the ruler of France 100 yeara
ago?
8. How many standard times arc used la
the Fnited States?
!). Who wrote the music of the grant! opera
"The Huguenots"?
10. How many Presidents of 'the United
States died a natural death in office,
and who were they?
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
I. Hamburg is the largest city iu.Germany
after Ilerlin.
U. A begum is a Hindu queen ,or lady ot
high rank. .
a. Chaucer is ca)led the father of Eng
lish poetry.
1. El Dorado is Spnuish and menus the
glided.
5. Alaska was acquired by the United
States from Russia in 1807.
0. Letters of marque arc licenses to fit out
armed vessels and tynploy them In the
capturo of the .enemy's merchant
shipping.
7. Edgar Allan Poe was born in Hoston.
8. The St. Mihiel offensive began on
September 12, 1018.
0, Velasquez Is regarded as. the greatest of
Spanish painters, i
1ft, . Jackstaff of p -Wu U the flsg'v!
V.rt lwv.
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