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EVENING PtJBLIC LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 1919
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" THE EVENING "TELEGRAPH
v PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
,. crmjB If. K. CURTIS. rnriint.T
Ctrl H. iAidlnitcn. Vies Prfl1nt: John C.
Martin, SeenUry and Treasurer: Philip S Cellini.
fofcn B. Williams. John J. Spurrrwi, Director.
EDrroniAij noARD:
1 CtirI II. K. C cutis, Chairman
DAVITI K. SMILEY Editor
n
r. JOHN C. MARTIN. .Oneral nulnf Managf
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PhUld.lpMi, Urdnnd.j, Jul; 2. 1910
BLOCKLEY'S WAR RECORD
THE Philadelphia Gencinl Hospital has
a right to pride in its war record. The
general public has scarcely realized the
measure of its accomplishment, for, as is
usual with work efficiently conducted, the
performance was unobtrusive.
It was known that under army juris
diction the Blocklcy institution was
caring for invalided soldiers. Publication
of the admirable results attained, how
ever, waited upon the completion of the
task. The account was closed with the
transfer of the hospital back to the city
yesterday, when disclosure was made of
the fact that of the 1053 service men,
many of them very severely wounded,
who were treated there, only four died
and a hundred and forty-four were dis
charged as cured.
Furthermore, the hospital, as well as
Its inmates, benefited by the regime,
since approximately st-venty-five thou
sand dollars' worth of improvements were
made to the buildings by the govern
ment Doubtless the prime reward of the
skilled physicians responsible for saving
10'many lives of the nation's defenders is
the simple knowledge of that fact. But
It is right that outsiders, hitherto un
aware of what was being done, should be
acquainted with a fine performance.
Though far indeed from the base of
operations, Blockley was brilliantly in the
war.
OUTGUESSING THE POLICE
fVE sweet and lovely thing about our
present police force is that it enables
esthetic thieves to indulge their taste
for the thing beautiful without any
"S Jiorrid fear of untimely molestation. So
when robbers entered a store on Chest
nut street the other night they showed
no unseemly haste as they went through
the, stock, but were able to pick and
choose, with a nice discrimination, just
what they wished to steal. They went
leisurely away at last with six or eight
thousand dollars' worth of the finest
shirts, underwear, hosiery, offiee coats
and raincoats. The best is none too good
for those who know the ways of the
police.
Knowing the ways of the police pre
sumes a shrewd knowledge of police
psychology. It so happens that the
guardians of the law were notified last
Saturday of an unsuccessful attempt the
evening before to jimmy into the place
and had promised extra vigilance. But
that was bunk. Any wise guy knows that
lightning ain't a-goin' to strike twice in
the one place; anybody, that is, but the
lightning and the crook who is a good
guesser.
Doubtless the men in blue have a clue.
While they are nursing it the thieves
have, for a time at least, quit worrying
about the high cost of men's furnishings.
NEW MOTOR LAWS
'HE new motor regulations approved
by the Governor and the Highway
Department of the state have been de
vised to make the theft and resale of
motor vehicles more difficult and dan
gerous for those who make a living by
that means. The clause which makes it
necessary for drivers to be ohvsicallv
N Qualified is like that which is onerativn
in the'motor regulations of several other
states. It imposes a desirable restric
tion. As important as physical qualifica
tion is .temperamental qualification in
the operation of automobiles. Nothing
so clearly reveals the disposition of an
individual as the manner in which he
drives a motorcar in crowded streets. If
the police could arrest drivers whose
stupidity and bad manners are conspicu-
ous under such circumstances they would
i eliminate the causes which must bring
;" about a growing multiplicity of restric-
, 'tlcris to bother the vast maioritv who use
fffei'-automobiles with decent care for their
' ewn safety and the safety of others.
' .?'.
V5 .
KirT
SPANISH LESSONS FOR THE HUN
4il I'UiNri years alter a war wnicn
(vdeprived Spain of her colonial empire
PENTY.ONE years after a war which
ffn usi vrtca vvbaoiuu bu Mil:! piety ,.c
ft rtf it wiliiOi rrroafav tnn flint- eta a ana-
Via Vtllait tnlAc aajbIa Itii-nvnvA tVli n
tf il, augury of happiness for the nation
y-wfekh so swiftly and decisively humbled
", late own.
' ;i"I ask you to accept," entreats King
'AJfonso of President Wilson, "my very
"ft" Wt wishes and those of Spain for the
.Itapplness and prosperity of the United
States in the new era now beginning."
ftv "Here is more than the conventional
,- wAtliLA(fflflnntt in iht TntontA whlrli Rnnin
' 'j--!.- i- ii j. 1 i l
Rl'jwr eagerness " imruue ner nuuuiiai
dignity into u .situation in wnicn sne
iyd(no active part has been so prompt
i tklif laim The note of sincerity is un
latakable. No policy of "revanche" has
Iliad a"i?sUndlng in Sp&in as a result of
. '.TliMt'war was gallantly fought, gal-
.lanlly UutL ,Orvra. Mentljo and Toral
'im wiw"ittt,,ld tf'aUrW fail-
urc. Their spiritual splendor is as fine
as Don Quixote's. ,
As a partner in civilization, Spain to
day plays a far more potent part than
she did as the possessor of external pos
sessions infinitely richer than those over
which imperinl Germany ever tyrannized.
From America the proud Castilian realm
has won respect and sympathy, emotions
inspired by Spanish chivalry even before
the ink was dry on the peace treaty of
more than two decades past.
The reciprocity of understanding be
tween each of the former belligeients is
an illustration of how the wounds of war
can be healed by moral attributes
stronger than the mightiest battalions.
Not until Germany has learned to dis
tinguish fine-souled pride from debased
sentimentality will that fallen nation be
enabled to compiehond how Spain and
her former victor can co-operate to make
the earth a more decent abiding place.
NOT A HOSPITAL
fplIE Public Seivlcc Commission was
not created to provide offices for
"lame ducks," or fat salaries for personal
friends of the appointing power, or to
give momentary prominence to obscuri
ties in order that they might be "quali
fied" for high office.
Yet almost since its creation it has
been used forhesc purposes. Capable
men have served on the commission and
they have donr good work. James Alcorn
is one of the most conspicuous among the
men of this class. But he has been
dropped without notice in order to make
a place for a personal friend of Governor
Sproul.
Thomas II. Smith was appointed to the
commission by Governor Brumbaugh and
thus made an "available" candidate for
the mayoralty. Mr. Smith lcccived his
commission on August 18, 1915, and re
signed on August 31, serving just four
teen days. Then he was made Mayor.
A number of men who have failed of
election to other offices have been taken
care of by putting them on the commis
sion. And this sort of use has been made of
the most important technical commission
in the whole commonwealth. The com
mission should be composed of experts
untouched by political influence. It
should contain a lawyer versed in rail
road and municipal law. It should con
tain a man familiar with the manage
ment and operation of railroads and
other public service corporations. An
expert engineer should be a member, and
there should be a man trained in the
ways of big business, capable of under
standing the financial problems involved
in the just treatment of the public serv
ice corporations. But there has been no
effort to create a commission of this kind
with a permanent personnel.
The commission is a semijudicial body
intrusted with what amounts almost to
the powers of life and death over certain
kinds of business. It is as reprehensible
to name to it a man who must learn the
duties of the office after his appointment
as to put a layman on the Supreme Court
bench.
SMUTS AS A STIMULANT
THE "gloom" which General Smuts's so
pnllorl 4'nrnfpt'' mrninst thn npneo
tieaty was reported to have cast over the
proceedings at Versailles last Saturday
is susceptible rather of hopeful than of
depressing analysis. While the distin
guished statesman and soldier crnsured
the pact for harshness, the heart of his
observations was referable not so much
to what has been done as to what remains
to be accomplished.
His appeal for a healing peace, one
which shall act as a restorative to the
whole world, even including broken Ger
many, is one which not even the most
fervent advocate of iron justice to a
criminal foe caa dispute. Nor is there
any unconquerable reason, in spite of
General Smuts's honest forebodings, why
civilization cannot be repaired according
to his sane principles. The treaty need
not stand in the way of them and the
league of nations should be of the ut
most assistance.
Indeed, the great Anglo-Boer admits as
much. He is firm in his position that
"the Germans must convince our peoples
of their good faith" and equally insistent
that the Entente shall remember its im
mense responsibilities and not abuse the
fruits of its overwhelming victory. The
league of nations he beholds as yet a
form, but none the less "a path of escape
for Europe out of the ruin brought by
this war."
"A new creative spirit," he adds, "must
fill the institution with life and with tho
inspiration for pacific ideals, and so con
vert it into a real instrument of prog
ress." Statesmen at Versailles who were
troubled over reflections of this sort if
any, indeed, were are unworthy of their
office. To read a warning General Smuts
painted a dark picture. In its outlines,
however, it is a true one. But admission
of the fact need not be accompanied by
pessimism concerning the treaty. Arro
gance, stupidity and blindness can make
a mockery out of the most admirable
document ever penned. Vision, a sense
of obligation and sound liberalism applied
to the future can render the Versailles
treaty the solid basis of a new and loftier
civilization.
General Smuts is only one of millions
in passionately hoping for a fairer era.
As a spokesman for moral standards, tho
battle for the maintenance of which justi
fies the existence of mankind in his
earthly habitat, the stalwart champion of
the league of nations is a stimulant, not
a depressant. His criticism is of the
courageous, healthy type, which should
disturb only the purblind.
CONGRESS REPEATS
pONGRESS, dealing with appropria-'-'
tions for the further development of
naval aviation, is adopting a course sug
gestive of earlier disastrous blunders in
the routine ordnance program.
Appropriations necessary to keep army
artillery up to the European standard
were stubbornly refused almost to the
moment when we entered the war. There
was a delusion in Congress that gnns were
guns and nothing more. Of the elaborate
technical experiments, or tho length of
time and the exacting effort necessary to
a scheme of modern artillery, the mem
bers of the appropriations committees
knew nothing. When the United States
declared war on Germany, and not be-
fore, funds were mndo available for a
large scale gun development program.
The War Department was blamed for un
preparedness. The Dcmoeiuts in the House who
fought bitterly to have tho aviation ap
propriation cut to $15,000,000 show the
old spirit.
If there if. another wnr it will be fought
in tho air. And we may be assured that
the countiy will be unready for it.
The United States is doing less for the
development of nir traffic than any coun
try in the world.
BORAH, BUNK AND BUGABOOS
rpiIE gravest political crime of which
J- any man can be guilty, in the opinion
of certain western demagogues, is to
have nny dealings with Wall street.
Bryan rang the changes on Wall street
in the days of his greatest popularity.
The country was ruled by the "money
power," nnd tho money power had its
scat in Wall street in the offices of half a
dozen bankers. We were exhorted to rise
and throw off the yoke, and to legislate
fifty cents into a dollar so that we might
scale down the debts we owed to the
money kings.
There was sanity enough in the coun
try to l eject this demagogic advice and
honesty enough to commit the nation to
a financial standard under which repu
diation was impossible.
But now comes Senator Borah, of
Idaho, a state with a population less than
one-third of that of this city, with the
charge that the league of nations is fa
vored by Wall street because the money
power wants to invest its capital in Eu
rope and is anxious that its investments
should be protected. He seems to think
that this is a valid argument against the
league and that by dangling the Wall
stieet bugaboo in the face of the nation
ho 'can frighten it into opposition to
everything that big business seeks.
Now, tho only effect the league can
have on tho investments of Americans in
Europe will be through the preservation
of peace. If peace is maintained property
rights will be secure. If there is war the
ability of Europe to meet its obligations
will bo impaired. . It is difficult to under
stand by what process of leasoning
Senator Borah or any other man can
reach the conclusion that it is a political
or economic or moral offense for Wall
stieet to be interested in the preservation
of peace.
Further, the rehabilitation of Europe
and the lepnyment of the European debt
to America of eleven billion dollars are
dependent in large measure on financial
assistance from America. Europe needs
capital. We have it. If Wall street, on
its own initiative, were not willing to go
to the relief of Europe, it would be nec
essary for the protection of the invest
ments of America in the war bonds of
Europe to take such steps as would in
duce our capitalists to piovide the ready
money needed to put European industry
back on its feet.
Such demagogic blatherskiting as
Borah is indulging in is disgusting to all
thinking men, even in the West, where
there is still some financial sanity.
And when Borah talks about the un
willingness of America to send men to
Ireland, under Article X of the league
covenant, to assist England in putting
down a possible insurrection, he is in
dulging in pure bunk which cannot even
deceive himself. There is nothing in the
covenant which requires any nation to
lend its military forces to assist in put
ting down an insurrection in another na
tion. The league is merely to protect
nations against external aggression, and
by no stretch of the imagination could
any one call an Irish insurrection an ex
ternal attack upon the integrity of the
British empire.
The longer the discussion of the league
continues the more piffling become the
arguments of its opponents.
An the Bibulous One
Keminlscenccs leaned nRninst the bar
he mis heard to sing
tho variation of nn old song : "It is soda
lightful. it makes, mo feel quite full but not
quite so full ns old John Barleycorn."
What is a poor three
Canreled rent stamp to do? It
has no more rights
than n periodical drinker. Its travel privi
leges have been cut and its invitations to
stick around nre growing seanter.
The fnet that brewers
Taking Stock nnd distillers can't get
lid of their stocks
would seem to indicate that (1) People'
haven't the money to buy; or (2) They don't
believe prohibition will really prohibit; or
(3) They don't rare for the stuff anyhow.
Which may be amended toead: (1) They
have better things to do with their money-;
or -) When one door shuts another opens;
or (8) What's the use of fussing?
Score another black
Circumstance's mnrk ngainst profl-
Queer Kinks t c c r i n g landlords !
They have hampered
the recording of Philadelphia's man-contribution
to the war. Tho policemen intrusted
with the delivery of the necessary blanks were
in some cubes unable to hand them to occu
pnnts of houses because the householders had
been warned by the Tenants' Protective As
sociation not to receive notices from 'consta
bles or others who nj.ay be interested in the
raising of rente
Old lled-eye is going color blind.
A man has to put up with a suspender
now when he needs a bracer.
Nowadajs there is nothing brewing but
trouble.
Happy tho man who owns a self-starting
buttermilk cow.
Even Yo, ho, ho will have to get along
without his bottle of rum.
In future we must look to airplane hops
for btimulation.
Mary Pickford is to retire after nine
more pictures are taken. "She is then
going to enjoy life," says her mother. But
it is possible that she will find that it isn't
possible to have more fun than she bos hud
already.
It Is recorded that on the receipt of the
news of the signing of the peace treaty Ger.
mans in the Rhine territory drank more
beer than usual. Conditions on this side
ot the Atlantic have served to keep the
world average unchanged.
CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S
' LETTER
Some Doubt About the Center of
Political Power In Washington.
Big Men In the Lincoln Club.
What Carleton E. Davis
Is Doing
Washington, July 2.
ANY ONE who can tell whether the Iteptib-
licans or the Democrats, ns such, have a
political ndvnntagc in Washington just now,
will deserve a I). S. medal. Mr. Wilson is
the President nnd grduped around him nre
the most strongly entrenched bunch of
office-holders the country hns ever seen. They
nre in power oud need only legislation nnd
npproprintions to continue. They know
their chief has the veto power nnd can
block nlmost anything nn avowedly Repub
lican House and n very dubious Scnnte
may do. In tho House of llcprescntntives,
thus far, under the guidnncc of the spenker
nnd n steering committee which hns been
working in mcnsurnblc harmony with the
main body of the House, tho Republicans
hnve met most problems ns they have arisen
intelligently nnd with nn eye to economy;
hut on some questions, due to geogrnphical
nnd other conditions, differences have arisen.
On the Sennte side the league of nntions
discussion hns bored holes into Republican
Lnrmony. In both bodies the Democrats,
shorn of their dictatorship, hnve been ying
low like "b'rer Rnbbit" waiting for the Re
publicans to disngree nnd chuckling over
such differences ns hnve arisen. In the
House they hnvo begun to make light of
Republican rlnlms of economy, seeing thnt
what the House does to effectuate economy
is offset to n large degree by riders nttnehed
to appropriation bills in the Senate, nil the
while knowing thnt those Senate riders
demonstrate the inlluence of the Wilson
bureaucrats to perpetuate their Influence
through the Senate when they ennnot obtain
.11 they want through the House. And tho
Dcmocrnts likewise obsenc signs of Repub
lican dissension with respect to lnnd bills,
soldiers' pay, snlnry increnscs and so forth,
while the effort is being mndo to reduce
tnxes. The rock upon which most Repub
licnns rest their case with the public is
economy, a lessening of the frightful expense
hills incurred by the preceding Democratic
Congress. But there are Republicans, nnd
there nre big interests, and there arc expen
sive labor claims for n continuance of large
appropriations nnd the crentiou of new
governmental agencies. And they nre strong
enough to justify the tnxpnyer putting to
himself the plain, blunt question, "How
enn Congress, or any nation, successfully
continue to incrense its expenses nnd nt the
same time meet the popular demand for n
reduction of tnxes?"
TOSIAII MARVEL, whose name Is n house
" hold word among the Blue lien's Chick
ens, is n Democrat, but despite the fact he
is to be president of the Lincoln Club of
Philadelphia, a hitherto decidedly Repub
lican organization. Associated with him
on the executive committee arc such men
ns John H. Mason, of Victory Lonn fnme;
James II. Eckcrsley, of Germnntown, the
grnnddnddy of the organization ; George
Stunrt Patterson, the Pennsylvania Rnil
load's legal luminary; William C. Sproul,
whose pen thnt signed the new charter law
is now the proud possesion of one John
('. Winston; Murdoek Kendrick, who has
so adjusted his legal affnirs ns to spend a
month in New England; William I. Shaffer,
whose fame ns attorney general may or may
not rest upon a certain stnte sedition bill';
Charles It. Hamilton, who has a horse which
now and then tnkes a blue ribbon; Samuel
M. Clement. Jr., whose opinions ns n pub
lic utility commissioner may ultimately shake
the foundations of a commonwealth ; William
J. Conlen, who is so revising the port of
Philadelphia through the medium of the
Chamber of Commerce ns to make it (the
port) a deservedly potential adjunct to the
national wclfnre, and Howard B. Lewis,
who nets nnd tnlks ns Abraham Lincoln
is snid to have done in his serious moods.
To such a gnlnxy hnve recently been ndded
Elishn Lee, of the Pennsylvania Railroad,
nnd Samuel M. Vauclnin, head of the Bald
win Locomotive Works, with the thought
that ninety-eight other Americans of equal
distinction, if they oin be found, shnll mnke
up the sum total of the club's membership.
And when thnt is nccomplished, nccording
to Senntor Wolcott, the youthful but im
pressive Delawnrean in Congress, the club
under Mr. Marvel's direction, will be able
to induce President Wilson nnd other dig
nitnries to put their legs under the club
mnhoennv. And n ili ri.n.iii.i- ,t
Idea continues to develop. It is nn nsset
which progressive citizens may well en
courage. milERE were three happy men in the rhif-J-
ndelphia congressional delegation Inst week
George P. Darrow. who mode a real fight
on the floor and got through nn nmendment
increasing the nllownnce provided for dis
nbled soldier in the vocational educational
bill; Peter E. Costello, who nssisted in
having restored on the Sennte side an appro
priation to encourage the manufacture of
small arms ammunition, the Frnnkford
Arsennl in mind, nnd George W. Edmonds,
he of the merchant marine and fisheries com
mittee, whose legislative wrinkles were en
tirely ironed out on the arrival of Mrs.
George W. Edmonds, who hns so many
friend in Washington thnt the Honornble
George was compelled to forget all about
Mr. Hurley and the shipbuilding program
in order to complete a round of social engage
ments too long postponed. And not the least
of the matter was a little tete-a-tete with
the new president of Brazil and certain other
notabilities who have been in our midst.
Oril Philadelphia Water Bureau's chief,
Carleton E. Davis, Is also president of
the American Water Works Association, and
that association is endeavoring to have Con
gress authorize the compilation of official
statistics with regard to municipal owned
water works the country over. At present.
however, owing' to the stnte of the treasury,
Director Sam L. Rogers, of the Census
Bureau, is not inclined to nsk for any extra
money. The American Water Works Asso
ciation comprises about 1200 members, rep
resenting water works of every size and
character, and If they understand propa
ganda work as well as some other public and
private agencies do, Brother Davis may yet
be able to impress Congress with the neces
sity of providing for what he wants.
rpHE candy men are up in arms. They
i. say candy Is nourishing and that the
candy manufacturers have been patriotic
throughout the war. Many of them insist
that they have also bought Liberty Bonds
as an evidence of their intense Interest in the
country's welfare. Like the Ice-cream and'
soda-water men, they also Insist thnt their
products are purchased by the poor. There
fore, according to many of their correspond
ents, they should not be taxed now that tho
wnr is over. The candy men have taken the
place of tho fur men und the jtwelers and
the various other dealers wlio opened up the
demand for a repeal of taxes. They are now
flooding Washington with letters and tele
grams, but it is fairly noticeable, in Wasff
ington at least, that the candy atorea are
doing a sood business, and that they are
getting good prices.
1 i
,-.. sSA-:i.:SYi;-t'''F-r '
THE CHAFFING DISH
The Club of Abandoned Husbands
AJAX : Hullo, Socrates, what are you
doing patrolling the streets at this late hour?
Surely it would be more seemly to be nt
home?
SOCRATES: You speak sooth, Ajax, but
I have no home to repair to.
AJAX : What do j ou menn by thnt?
SOCRATES: In the sense of a place of
hobitution, a dormitory, of course I still have
a home; but it is merely an nbaudoncd shell,
n dark nnd silent place devoid of nllurc. I
have tent my family to tho seashore, good
Ajax. and the lonely apartment, with all tho
blinds pulled down and nothing in the icebox, .
is n dismal haunt. Thnt is why I wnnder
upon the highway.
AJAX : I, too, have known thnt condition,
Socrates. Two jenrs ngo Cassnndrn took the
children to the mountains for July nnd Au--gust
; and upon my word I had a doleful time
of it. What do jou bay, shnll we have re
course to a benker of ginger ale and discuss
this matter? It is still only the shank of
the evening.
SOCRATES : It is well thought of.
AJAX : As I w ns saying, the qunint pnrt
of it was thnt before my wife left I hiid
becretly thought that a period of bachelor
hood would be nn interesting change. I
rnther liked the idea of strolling about in the
evenings, observing the pageant of human
nature in my quiet way, dropping in at the
club or the libiury-and mingling with my
fellow men in a fashion that the husband and
father does not often hnve opportunity to do.
SOCRATES: And when Cassandra went
away you found yourself desolate?
AJAX : Even so. Of course matters were
rather different in those days, before the
nrchons had taken away certain stimulants,
but the principle is still the same. You
know, the inconsistency of man is rnther en
tertaining. I hnd often complnined about
having to help put the children to bed when
1 got homo from the office. I grudged the
time it took to get them nil safely bestowed.
And then, when the children were away, I
found myself spending Infinitely more time
nnd trouble in getting some of my bachelor
friends to bed.
SOCRATES: As that merry cartoonist
Briggs observes in soml of his frescoes, Oh
Man!
AJAX: I wonder if your experience Is the
same ns mine was? I found that about bIx
o'clock in the evening, the hour when I
would normally hnve been hastening home
to wife and babes, was the most poignant
time. I was horribly homesick. If I did go
back to my forlorn apartment, the mere sight
of little Priam's crib was enough to reduce
me to tears. I seriously thought of writing
n poem about it.
SOCRATES : What is needed is a Club of
Abandoned Hubbands, for the consolation of
those whose families nre out of town.
AJAX: I have never found a club of
much nsslstnnco at such a time. It is always
full 6t rnther elderly men who talk a great
deal and la a manner both doleful and ill
informed. SOCRATES : But this would be a club of
quite a different sort. It would be devised to
offer a truly domestic atmosphere to those
who have' sent their wives and Juveniles to
the country for the benefit of the fresh air,
and have to stay in the city themselves to
earn what is vulgdrly known as kale.
AJAX: How wquld you work out the
plan?
SOCRATES: It would not be difficult.
In the first place, there would be a large
nursery, with a number of rented children of
various ages. Each member of the club, has
tening thither from his office at the conclu
sion of the day's work, would be privileged to
pick out some child as nearly as possible
similar in age and sex to his own absent off
spring. He would then deal with this child
according to the necessities of Its condition.
If it were an extremely young infant, a
bottle properly prepared would be ready in
the club kitchen, and be could administer it.
The club bathroom would be filled with
hilarious members on their knees beside small
tubs, bathing such urchins as needed it.
Others would be playing games on the floor,
or tucking the children in bed. It ought to
be qulto feasible to hire a cumber of children
for this purpose. Durlnjr the day they would
GENTLY BUT FIRMLY
be cared for by a competent matron. Baby
carriages would be provided, and if any of
tho club members were compelled to remain
in town over the week-end they could tako
the children for nn niring in the pnrk.
AJAX: This is a brave idea, Socrates.
And then, when all the children were bedded
for the night, how would the domestic at
mosphere be simulated?
SOCRATES: Nothing simpler. After
dinner such husbnnds ns are accustomed to
washing the dibhes would be nllowcd to doiso
in the club kitchen. During the day it would
he the function of the matron to think up a
number of odd jobs to be performed in the
course of the evening. Pictures would bo
hung, clocks wound, a number of tin cans
would be waiting to be opened with refrac
tory can openers, nnd there would always be
several window bliudi that hnd gone wrong.
A really resourceful matron could devise nny
number of ways of making the club seem
just like home. One night she would discern
n smell of gas, the next there might be n hole
In the fly-screens, or a little carpentering to
do, or n caster broken under the piano. Hus
bands with a turn for plumbing would find
the club basement a perpetual place of
bolace, with a fresh leak or a rumbling pipe
every few days.
AJAX: Admirable! And If the matron
really wnnted to mnko tho members feel nt
home she would take a turn through the
building every now and then, to issue a gentle
rebuke for -cigar-ashes dropped on the rugs
or feet elevated on chairs.
SOCRATES: The renlly crowning touch,
I think, would lie in tho ice-box rnids. A
largo ice-box Would be kept well-stocked
with reminders of apple pic, macaroni, stewed
prunes and chocolate pudding. Any hus
band, mnking a cautious inroad upon' these
about midnight would surely have the au
thentic emotion of being In his own home.
AJAX: An occasional request to empty
the ice-box pan would also be an artful echo
of domesticity.
SOCRATES : Of course the success of the
scheme would depend greatly on finding the
right perbou for matron. If she were to
strew a few hairpins about and perhaps mis
place a latch-key now and then
AJAX: Socrates, you have hit upon a
great idea. But you ought to extend the
membership of the club to includo young men
not yet married. Think whnt an admirable
training school for husbands it would make I
SOCRATES : My dear fellow, let us not
discuss it any further. It makes me too
homesick. I am going back to my lonely
apartment to write a letter to dear Xanthippe.
Sonnet
your vanished
Tho
incense of
blood and
breath
Within the amber spaces of the night,
Cool as child-love and dark as very death,
Is still my one and bittersweet delight.
Those ghostly tapers hold the fume of you,
Wreathing this quaint, impalpable reward,
The twined perfume of one so falsely true,
Wherewith the dark was subtly spiced and
starred.
For gone that crown of pale, reluctant gold,
And those white hands that rose like chords
and'fell.
Oh, you, so gravely young, so gayly old,
High lamp of Heaven and spark of sheerest
Hell :
Who but I, Bittersweet, have understood
Tour gentle evil and your valiant good?
RICHARD DESMOND.
Mr. Maurice Weyl hns been kind enough
to send us a copy of hts novel, "The Choice,"
which has just been published.
The first thing wo always do to a new book
Is to Binell It, and we can tell by the fra
grance of the paper tha,t Mr. Weyl's book is
one we shall greatly enjoy.
But why, we wonder, does the publisher
say on the jackef "It is nn American novel
thnt might have been written in England."
Surely the old gag about English literary
superiority is wearing a little thin?
We prefer to look forward to the day when
a New Yorke publisher will print on the
jacket of a book? "It Is an American novel
that might have been written In Philadel
phia." SOCRATES, h
THE CURTAIN
THE curtain falls, the light gdes out,
And silence ends the play;
And Columbine nnd Harlequin
In dust are laid away;
And Pierrot of the nimble heart,
And frail Pierrette, the star
So must we laugh and go, my lass,
God's puppets that we are.
Who knows but that their little tricks
Still live, and still amuse?
And Columbine still runs away.
And Pierrot still pursues?
Who knows but that we, too, shall play
Our parts, and reign supreme
Upon the Stage of Silence, lass,
Within the House of Dream?
Kendall Banning,
Speaking of resolutions, Knox falls and
Fall's knocks.
It the cellar as well as the seller b
abolished It will bo a dry spell indeed.
It is a certainty that horseshoe tables
wHll nnvr lift Tinnnlni- nt flArmnn hfinnuata l
" -n
Motor bandits are dally becoming more
numerous, but cheer ud ! tho airnlane ban
dits have' not yet arrived. Si
For the second time the negro is finding
liberty in the slogan of "The-TJnion for-
Therc Is also a nice little Mexican prob
lem awaiting the arrival of the George Wash
ington. The new German-American League In
Milwaukee has just one word too many In
Its name. The members are either German!
or Americans. The hyphen must go.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
I. Who Is assistant secretary of the treaa
ury7
2. What Is "long pig"?
3. What is the capital of Rumania?
4. Whnt Is the origin of the expression "th
Slough of Despond"?
5. What state does Senator Gerry repre
sent
0. When did Edison Invent the talking
machine?
7. What Is the meaning of the expression
"to chronicle small beer"?
8. Who was "Peter Pindar"?
0. What centuries compose the middle ages
10. Who are the members of the new Coun
cil of Four at the Paris Conference?
Answers to Yesterday's Quli
1. The Chinese delegates to the Peace Con
ference refused to sign the Versailles
trenty.
2. Knmehamcha, surnamed ''The Great,"
mnde himself master of the Hawaiian
Islands in 1800 and consolidated them
into a single realm. He suppressed
human sacrifice and encouraged com
merce with Europeans. HU is the
greatest name in the native history' of
Hawaii.
3, Gold is heavier than Iron.
4. Brooklyn is the 'JCity ot Churches."
G. Donegal is in the north ot Ireland in the
province of Ulster.
0. Pico della Mirandola was a noted Italian
humanist and philosopher, one of the
leading scholars of the Renaissance.
He died in 1404.
7. A parallelogram is a four-sided rec
tilinear figure whose opposite sides ers
parallel.
8. Sericulture is, silkworm brjedlni, pro
duction of raw silk.
9. Ambroisc Thomas wrote the music of the
opera "Mignon.''
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