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THE EVENING TELEGRAPH
PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
. CVJIUS II. K. CUItTIfl. t'tirMtit-M
'.. .Ktrtln, Secretary and Treisurerj Philip B Colllna,
?V" i wiiiiam. jonn
Spurirron. DlrertoM.
K , 4 nnrroniAi. noAttD:
y Ctsob 11 K CtmTM, ChBirmn
. DAVtn E. SMtT.ET
Editor
JOHN O. MARTIN . Cli-mrnl nunliifii Mann
Published dully at Pcrlio ln, llulldlnt.
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I'hiUdrlphU. -liiril. lw 21. 1I
Mi
GOMPERS MIGHT HELP
-PPONEN'TS of the anti-setlition hill
jJT-'in Harrishui-K think that if Snmupl
i"Gompcrs could br aIIowimI to talk for live
hlinutcs on tlm floor of the Houie hi1
'Would makr its passacc impossiblo.
Its paLsagc is not likely in any frnt.
thfThe loneer the members have thought
tbout the bill the more lias the foolish
ness of it impressed itself upon them.
They know that the criminal laws are
"'already tronp; cnouph to reach any bomb
e-rlhrower, whether he attack a private
'. ?itizen or n public oflicer, or whether he
attempt to destroy a public or p.ivate
"building. And they know also that the
"" laws cover incitement to such acts.
i.' Mr. Gompers i. a man of sound sense.
Ato if he should to to Harnsbuvp; next
Monday he mifjht make the defeat of the
'"bill doubly uie by stienctheniiifr in their
' detcrminaticn to vote afjainst it those
' men who have already put themselves on
' record as havinp confidence in the ade
quacy of the existing law.? to reach all
,Bolsheviki and anarchists.
THE INEVITABLE HAPPENING
11 r
I&' mHK WHI'lil Jl.Ts hnnii trn.-itrwl 1 1 morfl
J. nnr'nilPfllwl fltuin ilnriiwr fl,i n?l .iv
"ii'vui ivu f,'i,.-'i' 'iui iii tin- mrn. ;ia
"nonths than in any similar period in n
century.
"f The peace commissioners went to Palis
hWto draft a treaty which was to be sub
" mitted to Germany to sign. We were
lold that the commissioners could not
t agree among themselves, that tbey weie
vJlkely to abandon the task, that the
,('trcaty would be so strong that Germany
- VVAlllH not C'OMT it !lfl tllnl it I'.rinl.t U.. L-. .
mi ' " " """" uc "
h' h.weaK mat ueimanv vrtm n win tin wnr
after all.
4t ' J..
Ihe Rossipers
seeminuiy forgot that
.the leading statesmen of the world wer
"'not in the habit of s?ttm: out to do a
- "thine and then turning back before it
vas done.
When the treaty in its Una! form was
.handed to the German delegates we be
..gan to get the same kind of unfounded
gossip from Berlin that had been coming
trom Paris. We knew that Germany was
helpless, that she wa utterly defeated,
"without a navy and with her army de
' spoiled of its big guns and the whole
country dependent on the rest of the
world for food. liut the gossips said
'""Germany would not sign the treaty and
;'-Would defj the Entente Allies to do their
worst.
t - But while the gossips are still talking
h ithe German National Council at Weimar
Jias accepted the uxnty. with a wry face
"it is true, but it h3s accepted it. and thi
placing of the signatures will begin when
" that act can be delayed no longer.
o- This result, which was inevitable from
the moment the armistice was signed, is
i-'now upon us; but all those who have ac
cepted at their face value the utterances
of the multitude of men who did not seem
to be nble to keep their feet on the solid
'ground have had a most exciting six
rnonths.
1 WHY THE-BORDER IS QUIET
,,nARRANZA decare-, the Juarez inci-'-'
dent "closed." A courier from the
jucamp of Pancho Villa significantly an
nounces that his chief will make no re
prisals because of the border battle. In
.other words, the frontier is to be re
'' spected for the extremely specific reason
1 that the United States Government dis
played a ceitain regard for it.
Such vigorous consideration is deplor-r-'ably
belated, but it is nons the less wel-
pome. The Mexican policy which will
rnost commend itself to Americans is one
. which will protect energetically and
Without woolly vacillation their lives and
.property.
' Secretary Baker's authorization of the
recruitinir of twenty-six thousand mm
" for the southern frontier service has the j
"ririg of decision worth moie than a riock
of A-B-C conferences and pretentious
.."warnings. It was high time for sane
.. 'determination in the matter.
i,
ORLANDO REPUDIATED
INTERPRETING the temper of a court-"J-
t?y through the action of its Legisla
JaTnrfi is not invariably a safn miiilu no
.rtiw.AA iYia mlcraWicontfljn ..e it. ..
fT VIVCt HV Ituu.tj.n.osu.nnyn Ut lny
widespread sentiment for the league of
f' 'Rations by excited American senators.
4tJTh'e trend of Italian opinion regarding
tno now concLiatury viuono urianuo is
Ihsrcforo not to be hastily judged by the
ilure of the Chamber of Deputies to
hard him a vote of confidence.
.Evidently also there are Borahs and
aennans in Italy. The hysterical cry;
rS'A'TJJO Allies have never been faithful to
iiTiis. Why should we be faithful to tnem?"
eS Suggests a Roman politician of their
r"s tlstrine.
j, It hyiuite'as unjust to Italy to appraise
her by this -sort of rot as the utterance
itsoU is unjust to the Invaluable aid
which the associated powers contributed
to that nation in her tlnrkest hour.
Through the murky political haze
which has settled upon Rome it is dis
cernible that Signor Or'amlo is less of
a jingo than at the time of his melo
dramatic exit from Paris a few months
ago. He now warns against "any blind
form of obstinate intraiisigcance." Tint
is naturally displeasing to reckless fire
caters. As for those Italians, of whom Signoi
Bissolati was a conspicuous represent
ative, who opposed n blanket imperialis
tic settlement of the vexed Fiumc ques
tion, it is possible that tbey are indiffer
ent to the prime minister's fate, even
though lie does give evidence of having
changed sides. His prc.-ent role is far
from enviable.
The situation as a whole clearly exem
plifies the drawbacks of a diplomacy of
passion and indicates that reasonable
ness and a spirit of adjustment have high
compensatory value in a crisis. The
trouble with Signor Orlando seems to
have been that he took each of bis stands
at the wrong time.
FACTIONALISM MUST NOT
DEFEAT THE LOAN BILL
Members of Councils Should Agree on
the Plan to Raise Money for Perma
nent. Not Temporary, Improvement's
THE memliei- of the majority and mi
norilj fact, ons in Councils hnulii
promptly come to an agreement on the
loan bill, which failed or pa:-sage this
week.
MtHvof the uoik for which this money
is to be bonowed i imperatively needed.
Seme of it can be delayed and some of
it. accordinir to th" plans of the original
ordinance, is work which ought to be paid
for out of current levenues instead of
from the proceeds of a loan.
The independent members of the mi
nority pioposctl a l eduction of certain
item-i for permanent improvements and
a reduction of others for curt cut ex
penses. The majority declined to accept
the modifi'Ution- and an adjournment
was taken befoie the matter wj settled.
It has hern intimated that the majority
i- willing that the situation thus created
It allowed to continue so that it may
secure what po'itical advantage there
may he in charging the minority with
ob-stiurting public work.
It i not likely that the majority will
It co fooli.'h, for this charge is a two
edged word which cuts both wiy.s. It
can be used with equal force and perti
nence against the majority.
As the matlrr nnv stands holb factions
are jointly rcsnonsible and reprehensible
for the failure to act. If a compromise
shall not be i cached and the deadlock
continue, the minority can justly charge
the opposition with icfusing to consent
to reasonable modifications m the plan
based on sound principles of municipal
finance. And if this point is properly
pressed, whatever political advantage is
to be gained would benefit the independ
ents. A little carefu' thought on the subject
will convince the majority of this. Its
leaders are not po'itical infant and are
not likely to consent to be p! iced in a
position where they would he put to it to
find any justification foi their attitude.
When the schedule of improvements to
It coveted by the loan was first pub
lished, this newspaper protested against
some of the items on the ground that the
tost of them should be met out of cur
lent revenues.
The policy of issuing long-term bond-;
to pay foi repairs to streets ami to pub
he bui'dings cannot be defended under
any ciicumstance. At the present time,
when the rates of inteie.t ate high, it is
financial madness to load the taxpayers
with the burden of bonds for stieet re
pair0. The city would have to pay
J2,U0fi,000 inteiest on a fifty yeai 1 per
cent loan, in addition to the principal,
making ? 3,000. (100 to pay for work win th
one-third of that sum.
It is bad enough tn have to borrow
money and pay intorc.it on it when we
make permanent improvement-, without
following the course of bori owing for
current expenses, which if indulged in In
a privtite bus ness man lead'- straight to
the bankiuptcy tourtsll
Some of the independents announced
that they intended to oppose the loan as a
whole because the present administra
tion could not be ti listed to --pend the
money and because they wished the new
administration, to be elected in the fall,
to have all the available lesources of the
city at its command.
We protested on May 21! against this
and lemaiked:
If tin' niiiiiii'it) in I'otiin'iN i' lies t.) do
a teal public scr ice it will cnnccntiMte
its iipiiositinn on lbi)c mmus in tin' pro
1ioiI loan that are tu lie ns,.. in pm
cnni'lit 'Xl"'iist's whiih s i !,i' met lij
tlic intuitu! tax lev.t .
This course has been substantia'ly fol
lowed, but not so closely rs it should
have been. The original plan was to bor
row $14,7!5O,000. This sum has been
scaled down by the independents to $10,
570,000. They have reduced the original
item of $1,000,000 for repaiis to asphalt
streets to 5300,000 when they should
have rut it out altogether. And they
have reduced the item for repairs to fire
boats from $300,000 to .$50,000 and other
repair items have been left in the sched
ule after they had been cut down.
The lepairs are necessary and they
ought not to be delayed, but Councils
ought to have financial courage enough
to order them made in the proper way.
The original schedule called for ?3,000,
000 for new tewers. Building projects
are delayed for lack of sewers and fami
lies are looking in vain for suitable
houses because the builders are not will
ing to te up their money by putting up
houses in unsewcred streets which they
can neither sell nor rent.
The money for the projected sewers
ought to be provided an.d the contracts
let at the earliest possible' momrnt, no
matter ho gets the contracts. The ooo-
pie do not carir who builds their sfewors
so long as they"uro built properly.
The wisdom of other reductions made
can give riso to honest difference of
opinion. It may be argued that the re
duced sum is all that can bo spent to
advantage at the present time when
prices arc high; that delay will injure no
one and may save the city hundreds of
thousands 'of dollars when prices return
to a peace time level. There is no dispo
sition to lie hypercritical about these
i matters.
Hut there is an earnest desire through
out the city that work on permanent im
provements which han been delayed on
account of the war be resumed as quickly
as may be and that Councils take the
necessary action to make that resump
tion possible. The membern should have
political sense enough to smooth over
their differences and come to an agree
ment. THE KAISER AND THE LAST ACT
rplIE present political debility of Wil
liam Hohenzollern has somewhat ob
scured the truth that a rogue who has
been found out and shorn of power is no
less guilty than the criminal untouched
by adversity.
Itylns become the fashion to describe
the ex-kaiser as a "pitiful figure," as a
lamentable weakling from whom it is
hardly worth while to withdraw the cloak
of oblivion.
Enrtunate'y, the Paris peacemakers
had no patience with sucli sophistry, and
the provision which their treaty makes
for solemn official examination into his
iniquity is one of its strongest moral bul
warks. Call it weakness or (till it
strength, it was the character equation
of the Get man emperor which was the
primary personal cause of the world
war outrage.
' If the old description of him as a figure
of force was correct, his responsibility
admits of no question. If his vanity was
merely a mask for his helplessness in
the bands of a military clique, then such
colossal egoism was as base and detest
able as a forthright energy for wicked
ness. He is grossly sin-stained in either
event, and as th" fateful hour in Weimar
strikes for his fallen nation, the role
which 'he plays in the last art of the
tragedy is no less significant because it
is utterly ignoble.
The fates which pel mitted his life to be
spared up to this point must have quaffed
deeply of the cup nf exquisite and cosmic
irony.
Piroctnr Genernl of
I'alr Words ltailroads Ilinos says
In' expects a (treat do-i-lino
in tlic price of ntaterln's anil an in
i'P'.'im' in the available skilled labor, wlin-li
vwiiiM offset the need fur an mlvaiiee in
freialil iittos. Mr. Hiin's ntaj be more of nu
nitiniisi than a prophet.
If lij nnj i lintiee tin
I'lanlts n-I'lentj tmrsenn :i ml ubolly
utiexncctPi! b.t 111 tn tlie
lilitnin; should strike Major lii'iii'nil Wood
.mil lie -limtlil find himself a entnlidnte for
tin' presideiiej. his platform i. at ery easily
m isinstriicti-il from any otic nf Ids iccent
poiM lies l'repnredni'ss, m bo. . procured -
After 111" I'Piisus nf
Reds" tins been taken
the Spcri't Scr ice will
(basilic the .
iionili Throwers
classifj tln'in tfcordiiis'
tn similes from crimson to brick and p.ib1
pink iiiid bj a process nf elimination, tnv
dear Wat-mi, will at last put its liuiiil mi the
iu- that stiiicl liilly rutt-M-siiti. Tlic rest
will be iniiipniathc'.j ens .
('liniifji's in wninen's
fnsbiniis have resulted
in the dbappi'iii'iinep
Disease No l.nnqcr
Fashionable
nf tin- "llnaliti" kill
inn ' lis :i fashionable ili-osc, ileclaieil- a
iliielor at tin- Asbtifj I'mk convention of
homeopaths. Diseases nf that kidney bine
-imply limited over fashion's hnri.oii, as it
Illcs o ii i e a r t.
n e a r cipvj body is
Ii ii pp j in I'hihub'l-
I'lesicssive
Dlstmitcnt
p Ii i a ! Aiitomobi'e
thieves and automobile tire thhu's are happy
beciiiiM' the police do nut bother llicin much.
The police are happy beemise, since the au
tomobiles and tires at1" ifiul. insured, the
ic tints don't bother them miifli. And the
insurance companies ate happy because, with
increased business ami inerensn! iate,, dam
nse claims don't bother tli"tn much. Hut
.when the automobile owner begins to realize
that h" lias to pay for the link of police pro
tection and the insurance company hears
about it mid the po'.i'c are notilied of 1 ho
new uncle win. then. - I t'raeious. Aiinn-
belle, the first tltitii; ou know the pnljiv will
be making arrests!
At present prices there are
complaint in every eotfe cup.
rounds fur
The tint too genial autocrat of the stamp
shop and wire notion -tor" should ptomptly
lake measures to put it stop to longrebsloiial
Gallivanting;
A recent Philadelphia incident stresses
the fint that bullies, matches nml window
curtains should neer he tnether. And
women alone are responsible for the curtains.
The League of Nations is the cMM f
the war. sns '"' I'rcshlent. There are
I'ulttil States senators inclined to treat it
us a steprhi'd.
If the sight of a sailor with a bottle of
whisky will cause a riot in Painuount l'mk
this w'eek. the same thing after .Inly l wdll
probably i ause a revolution.
That aerial military band concert at
Camp I'ix waH' "' necessity, etiinpospi) en
tirely of soloists The air alone interested
tlieiii. And they doubtless nitnle heavenly
music.
A Germun coal nmgnate declares that
(iermnuy cannot honestly sign the treaty and
hope to fulfill her obligations. That she will
dishonestly K" UId hope to evade her obli
cutluiitf Is contitlcittly expected.
CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S
LETTER
Washington Watches Penrose and
the Varcs Local High School Boys
In the Navy Gossip About John
B. MaeAfee, William T. Budd,
Colonel Elliott and Others
Washington, I). ('.. .Tune 21.
lOOI) feeling among the dining clubs, for
which Philadelphia is famous, helps the
i it In many wnys. Organizations like the
Clover Club, the Five o'Clock Club, the
Terrapin Club, the Lincoln Club nnd others
have persisted for years In bringing to Phil
adelphia prominent men who hnve gone away
with a better understanding of the city and
its people. The menu cards and souvenirs
which these clubs provide for their guests
are carried off and treasured in many cities.
The little clocks which are distributed at
anniversary dinners by the five n'Clnek Club
are now fairly well known In Wnshlngton.
It is not unusual to find them in the otBce of
a fongre-smnn or senator. Heeently when
the Phe o'clock was entertaining n number
of congress-men at the Philadelphia Country
Club it was a typical .lack llolton party
tindrr the direction of Dr. Ilobarl A. Hare
and .lieeph Va.nc, ,lr. was the apprentice
-tlie Lincoln Club, which was dining nt
ISiiigstetten, sent Charles It. Hamilton and
William ,1. Conleu over to ask that a few of
the congressmen might be apportioned to
them. It wi's a case of wanting to do the
right thing. The Lincoln Chili boys sought
to share in the hospitality that usually goes
out to our visitors, and the congressmen ap
preciated it. We owe something to "the
good fellows" who talk up Philadelphia
through the dining club medium.
PTNUOSi; and Vare are nnt synonymous
terms. Washington understands that.
Itut making allowances for Penrose's long
lecord nt the capital, the Vnres have come
to be talked about In connection with Penn
s.thntiin politics. Itrotlier Hill is here to
talk for himself, nnd he does not hide the
Vare light under a bushel, Itut statesmen
nsk about Pennsylvania. T'ven Senator
Lodge will have his joke. "When Penrose
gets through reforming Philadelphia" he
will say. "And when the big red touring
ear returns," some one else will observe. So
Washington evinces an interest in our af
fairs. It isn't quite on to the curves of
I'liilitdelpliians in politics, but it Is inquisi
tive. As to the outcome, Charles M. Ilortcr.
nn active spirit in the charter-reform move
ment, tells us tluj city will nnt stand for a
continuance of tlie Smith -Vare regime.
Taking tlie Twenty -fourth ward for example,
he says the people out there are decidedly
for a change. Ilortcr is cIohc to Ccorgn
W. Coles, of the Town Meeting party, ami
lias an occasional look-in with big Tom
('iiiiiiiiighiini, of the Hepiiblii'iiu Alliance.
Hut William S. Vnre, he just looks wise
like when interviewed, and hints "as how"
the "old order prevalleth" and the Vares
will be just as well satisfied under the new
city charter as under any uther.
nplIKUK is much satisfaction in sending
J- boys to Annapolis who make good. The
examinations are severe and the boy who
stands nil the tests may be set down as ex
ceptional. If the appointee floes not pull
through tlie ("ongressman making the ap
pointment must stnrt all over again with a
new applicant or lose tlie place. Hoys at the
Central High School will he glad to know
that William Itutler, who figuted big in
athletics for several years, is among those
who came out smiling, lie is now a full
fledged ensign and will go to sea on tlie
I'nited States steamship Louisiana. Paul
Italph Ili'itieman also came through with
Hying colors. He will start to sea us ensign
on the United States steamship Ctnh. Natty
boys these, and both of them from river
wards.
JOHN I'.LAIU MacAFHi:. who used to
s' practice law in Philadelphia but who
now is engaged in the bunking business in
London. Ims been looking Washington over
with an inclination lo take in Norfolk be
fore again crossing tlie water. "MaeAfee
A: Co , Limited, ."i Cnptlnill street. London,"
is the way the card reads, but in addition
John Hlair has become a director of tlie
American Chamber of Commerce, with
hcaihpuirtcrs in Pall Mall. It has not been
so many years since MaeAfee. who looks
about as young nnd business-like as ever,
was lining big things in trolley construction
in Virginia. His residence in Kugland dur
ing th" war has naturally brought him in
contact with many of the celebrities over
there.
WILLIAM T. IM'DI). formerly of the
Harlan & Hnllingsworth Company, has
becnnii. tlie secietnry of the Chamber of Com
nierie of Wilmington, succeeding Mr. Killcn.
who lint gone into the newspaner business
Heing one nf the best-posted waterways men
in the Knst. Colonel Iliidd may be expected
to bring Wilmington across to the De'awarc
liiiT in due course. He hns a big job on
hand, for Wilmington has large transporta
tion and industrial Interests. However, lie
is already plugging away at WtHilugton.
where his nciuaintnncc with senators and
representatives am! with department heads
will count heavily. And Incidentally it may
lie stated that Delaware's new congressman.
Caleb It. Lnyton. is taking a lively interest
in what Is going on here. He has made sev
eral speeches already and may be counted
for economy and a reduction of the high cost
of living.
c
(iLOI:L (iKOUCK .1. KLLIOTT. the
1 minie Colonel George who co-onerntes
with Cn'onel W. II. Sayen, Colonel William
A. Pntton nnd the other colonels who look
after the upkeep of Valley Forge Park, lias
been down here for several ilnys on business.
Any one who knows the colonel's deep in
terest in tlie affairs of the Hell Telenlintu'
Company can guess the reason. Congress has
been teaily for some time to turn the tele
graph and telephone companies back to their
owners. Hut there are many details to look
after. The unscrambling process is n little
more difficult, even as Mr. Hurleson find, it,
than the taking over process. Wages, rntes
nnd restoration of pre-war conditions nil
enter Into it nm. as Colonel Cieorge observes,
"raising wages !?T.I00,000 and rates only
S2tl. 000,000 is another element of govern
ment control that's hard to figure back to
uuiniai."
pnXfSUKSSMAN HILL UROWNINfi
v gave a llsb dinner to his colleagues on
the naval affairs committee at the eoneln-
inn of the big fight tin tlie naval appropria
tion bill. The fish cnine from somewhere out
on the Pacific toast and wits too big to be
shipped up to Camden. Hence tlie feast.
Hut big as the Pacific product was, there are
mine people who live in the vicinity of Salem
f.rf,.k-U. C. Hallinger, of the Huilders'
llxchnnge. for instance who have the no
tion Hint Delaware shnd is still king of the
tinny trihe. Dick Ilalllnger is n loyal .ler
seyninn who is not averse to taking a hand
in Philadelphia affairs, which makes him
useful on both sides of the river.
The Hoy Scouts are still assiduously
seatching for (iood Old Scouts.
It Is gratifying to know that the detec
tives who are seeking the perpetrators of
bomb outrages still have a clue. -
e..-""' .
'-.!! :'';.vi;;'''!'r'.,:'ffi5i v-iif&rIiSIxC" "-'.."" 1 "- ''' "'.. .....-..-.
. - v"h v,;'.-'t:iS'''i'Aa?sStK5ji '-
' '-'. I I I. - '-...I - .III. I- .1.1 II . I -- -., ... ,, ,,., - - -
THE CHAFFING DISH
A City Notebook
IN THK nice cool cellar under Independence
Ilnll, where Fred Kckersburg, the engi
neer, and Victor Anderson, tlie carpenter.
have their pleasant haunt, we inquired after 1
tlie health of Martha Washington, the Mate
House cat. We were very sorry to miss her,
she having gone out for a saunter about the
square. Victory, her rising young daughter,
was there, however, and Fred Kckersburg
dusted her off a chair so that we, might sit
down for a chat. We nsked him if any
treasure trove had been found under the
grandstands which hnve just been taken
down. The Indies who watched tlie Iron
DUision parade must have kept their trinkets
well pinned on, because Fred assured us that
tlie only findings had been one cent and a
councilman's badge. Nnt even n hairpin.
So our intention of pulling a wheeze on the
Indies wits frustrated.
FltOM a mysterious store-cupboard Fred
pulled out an interesting old raddle rack
which wns found in the Hnll some years ago.
He thinks it may have been the very one on
wlili h the statesmen of '7i hung their sad
dles wliPi) they rode up to tlie State House
and hitched their horses outside. He also
showed us one of the former visitors' books,
with Mr. Tuft's signature in it. dated De
cember lit). 1011. Helow Mr. Taft's name
were those of John Wannniaker and Major
Archibald Htitt, Mr. Taft's nide, who was
lost. If we remember rightly, on tlie Titanic.
ON ONI! of the little streets that runs
south front Market street near Third
there is a sign. "No Parking." An upstate
Pennsylvania Herman looked nt it thought
fully iiiid then turned to his wife. "You
see vot a vell-govemt city this is," he said.
"Kfen the docks ain't allowed to park in
public."
IF YOU went to the postottice nt Ninth and
Chestnut yesterday you may have noticed
that big barrage of pink roses at window
No. .", where Letters, etc., for Men are de
livered to the anxious public, tleorge Scott,
ihief trace clerk, who lias been in the service
for twenty-four years, was having another
birthday thrust upon him, nnd the (lowers
were in his honor.
t
WF. ARE glad to see Hint good old (!. A.
Unity keeps his hold on the younger
generation, ouiiiig u unmsicji at leuin
and Kelly streets, during the noon hour (and
what we were doing in thnt significant neigh
borhood is our own concern), we found, a boy
immersed in n book, it wns Ilenty's "Heady
to Abdicate: A Tale of Waterloo.
WK OFTKN wonder what the business col
lege flappers, who are so throng on
Chcstuut stieet nt luueli time, talk ubotit.
Many n time we have loitered along behind a
coitpie of them, hoping tn get n line on the
way their busy little minds revolve; but
their busy little jaws revolve so much faster,
with tlie customary adhesive confection, it's
hard to get a word out edgewise.
A COMMUTER on tlie Cinder and Hlood
shot tells us that the roses along the
embankment beyond Wayne Junction station
ate now In full and magnificent bloom: For
n few minutes we were almost sorry titat we
had given up commuting.
IF YOU want to see how well Uncle was
prepared for a long war, have a look
at the despairing announcements of the
siirplus'property officer, posted on the boards
in the halls of the Federal Htilldlug, if,
for Instance, you should need 100.000 curry
combs, or several tliuimaiid tous of. oleo
margarine, or a dozen steam boilers, or a
hundred acres of overall cloth, or a few
hundred tons of lubricating oil, which has
been expo-ed to the weather and is to lie
sold "as is," you en n bring i. gleam of
brightness to (lie orbs of tlic surplns-i rop
crt.v officer by offering a bid. All these and
many other strange asiutmcnts "were
bought in emergency and, due to tlie sudden
termination of tlie war. are held for dis
posal as surplus property." With morbid
furiosity we looked thioitgh the lists to see
if tlieie were a few million spurs or Sum
Hi-own belts left over, but apparently these
were the only tilings the War Department
couldn't get enough -of.
T3ANDOLPII STREET, one of tlie byways
" of that Enchanted Village lying just
east of Franklin Square, has a .iiagie all its
own. On the steps of its trim little houses,
in the blue summer twilight, sit crisply
gliighaiiied small girls. We saw one reading
and asked her what it was. "A story," she
said shyly. We persuaded her tn show us
the book, which was ( ailed "Fifty Old
Stories Retold," and the tale she was deep
iu was "Tlie Tine Other Wise .Men of
Cotliiiin." We knew that there were three
wise men of Oothnm. but t e Other Three
were new to us, mil we badly wanted to
know what happened to them.
Any oifi' who has written a bcok that will
be rend by the urchins of " ndulpli street
on a hot evoninj lias dc. erved Will of his
fellow men.
No Encores
My daughter's nose U snawndcr, is s.nuv-
eudei or snub,
A shnpelffs little li'ivender, a navender or
nub.
Her hair's a yellow s.'iravender, a slir.iveiidi'r
or shrub.
Tlie floor she has to seravcii.'er. to sera ven
der or scrub,
Or else her ma will drnvender, will tlrav-
ender or drub.
Which makes tlie maiden blavender, yes,
blavender or blub,
Hecause she is in lavender, in lavender or
Int.
With a boy we all call Uau-niler. just Hav-
einler or Hub. HUM HAY.
Just this once, by special Ik-eniu
Among other necessary revisions after the
First, we call attention to tlie first sen
tence of "Uncle Tom's Cabin."
We hope the citizens aren't building their
hopes too high as to that comention of press
humorists here next week. You must re
member that these drolls will be on their
vacation.
This Is the Swan Song
Of persons 'neatli the siivcnder,
The savt'tider or sun,
I'm sure that there is navender,
No, navender, or none,
I'd rather give the Haveuder,
The Jluvt'tider, or Hun,
Than tlie poor thoughtless waveuder,
The waveuder, or one,
Who first began this favcuder,
TbN faveuder, or fun(?). i ,
For through inv mind rhymes ritvcudcr,
They ra'vender or run.
And ere one verse Is daveuilcr.
Is (lavender or done,
Another is begaveuder,
Hegavend er begun !
AESCULUS HIPPOCASTANEU.M,
Probably one reason why the President
tarries In Europe is that the unfortunate
man drcuds to face the number of letters ho
will huc Jo write when he gets home.
SOCRATES.
A BOY'S PRAYER
,
GOD Who created me
Nimble and light of limb.
In three elements free.
To run, to ride, to swim :
Not when the sense is dim.
Hut now from tlie heart of joy.
I would remember Tliin :
Take Ihe thanks of n boy.
Jem. King ami Lord.
Who-e me my foes to fight.
tlird me with Thy sword,
Swift and sharp and bright.
The" would I serve if I might,
And conquer if I enn
From d.iv-diiwn till night.
Take the strength of a man.
Spirit of Love and Truth.
Hreatliing in grosser clay.
The light and llame of youth,
Delight of men in the fray.
Wisdom in strength's decay;
From pain, strife, wrong to.be free,
This best rift I prav.
Take inv spirit to Thee.
Itv. 11 C. Hcediing ( tS,"9-1919)f
IFhat Do You Know?
QUIZ
Whnt pait of the United States is most
o:po-cd to woman suffrage?
What European premier has just been
denied a Mite of confidence?
How ninny bushels tnaku a coomb?
What one of the three coa-.ts of tho
United States is the shortest?
Into how many days were the months
divided according to the calendar of the
French Revolutionary era?
What is the crior in this quotation from
(liity's "EIe'.v in a Country Church-
yind": "Tlie path of glory leads but
to the grave"?
Who wai President of the United States
100 years ago?
What is the meaning of the word im
pinge? Who wns Epictetus?
What American philosopher is in Pekin
engaged in drawing up a new nnd com
prehenshe national education system
for China.
,;
10.
Answers to Yosterday'3 Quiz
Six senators voted against the declara
tion of a state of war with Germany.
They were Lane. Stone, Vnrdaman,
Norris, (ironna and La Follette.
Cauliflower and sweet corn were ttu
known in the United States tit the tinio
of the Revolution.
A dossier ii a set of documents, espe
cially a reiord of a person's antece
dents, "Nolens voleus" is Latin for willy
nilly. Antwerp is nn the Scheldt river.
A siiccednnriim Is a substitute that ono
falls hack on in default of another.
lion Franco!" de hi Peroitse wns a dis
tinguished Fiench navhutor, noted
especially for his South Suit discoveries,
Slmyfc'a rebellion w-ns an insurrection In
, Massachusetts in 17KIU87 against nl-
' legeil abuses by tlie state government.
Daniel Shays was leader cf the upris
ing. 'Hollvla Is the third largest country jn
South America.
Charles E. Hughes resigned as a Su
preme Court justice in itlltl to becotns
Republican candidate for Prcbldcut,
4l.
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