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THE EVEN1Ng",TELEGRAPH
PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
CTTIUS It. K. Cl'nTIfl. rRminrsT
. Chtrl If, Ididlnilon. Vlcx Prllinl: John C.
Martin. Secretary nd Treaimrtri Philip S Colllnt.
jonn u. wunanm, Jonn .1. npurirpon, iMrerion.
DDITORIAI. 110 MID
CtCs II. K. Ctnms. Chairman
DAVin E. SMIt.ET
Editor
JOHM C MARTIN. . . Onrl tlwlne m Mnaicf
Publlihfil dally at FcMO l.nnii.11 llulldlnt-.
murpenaenco square, rnuaueirniu,
TIUJitio ClTl 7rr Cnion llullitlng
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.20(1 MotropnlUnn ToWer
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701 Ford iiulMinc
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1302 Trllmpir UullJInc
WiSniTOTOV Ttt'&EAC,
N R Cor. IVntmlvanla Avp. ami Htli St.
KW York Huniuu .. .. The ttun UulMInr
London Dubeatj .. r.omton 7 (mi
mrnscntrTiov terms
Th 7hnino I'rniio IjEpufh n pril (o nl
cjitwrs In Philadelphia atvl aurrouniltnc tom
it-tlie rat of twMo (12) centu per ek pawbla
to th carrier.
By mall to point nuMlu of FhHfnl,TpMii, In
tha Unll' PtntB Crumla or fiittM State to
mmIoth, potagf tr. fifty fn cent rr month
tx ($(l) 1olIart per yar, rayMe In enhance
To all forelgni countrl" one 111 ilollor rr
mvinth. ...
NoTirnSuWrlberp within oudrpufc rtiHtied
must rive old a well a iipw nddr,i?.
BELL. 090 WUAUT
KFYSTONF. MMS 3000
K3T Addri9 all c omtrttinfraMotil to J 1 ' nuti Mi,
JjfttO'r Hrfep-M(f ir SVjt'nrr. I'hilntlflph i
Member of the Associated Press
THE AKSOriATVl) l'RL'SS i r
tivel'j entitled to Ihr mr for icpiiMhatliin
0 alt news ilspatehe crrilitrd to it or tint
oihentiiir credited in thil inprr. nml nho
thr local rtrirt ptibhilntl therein.
All rlqhti of lepuhlicntion of iprrial dis
patches herein are also meruit.
Pllll.dflplil., rilnJ. Junt 1. HI'
A REFORM THAT FAILED
A
LARGE numbur of pei.soiiM will be
grievously disappuintel by tlio defeat
of the bill reorganizing the school boards
in this city nd in Pittsbutjih. it wn.
opposed by the PittsbuiKh lepie-ent-ath'es
and by neatly all of the represent
atives from this city. Theie wort? only
twenty-eight votes cast in favor of it.
The House of Representatives, which
has passed the charter oer the objection
of the local legislators, evidently thought
it had gone far enough in one session in
yielding to the demands of the refoi mors.
At any rate those who conttol the House
did not take the tiouble to order the bill
passed.
A more meritorious measuie might
have met the same fate. The defect in
the bill lay in its attempt to save the
feelings of the present members of the
local board and nt the same time go as
far as possible toward legislating them
out of office. Its advocates have fallen
between the two stools.
Every one at all interested in the sub
ject knows what is the matter with the
school board. And every one :.lso knows
how conditions can be improved without
legislation. When the city really wants
a different kind of a board it can get it,
for the appointing power is amenable to
"" public sentiment. The city as a whole
seems to be satisfied with conditions as
they are. There must be greater and
more widespread dissatisfaction before
any radical change is likely.
A BLOW AT PROFITEERS
.'TUIOSE who have been suffering from
- the demands of rent profiteers are
hoping that the Walker bill, passed by
the House in Harrisburg yesterday, will
be approved by the Senate and sent to
the Governor.
It provides that a tenant whose rent
has been raised may appeal to the couit
against the increase. His appeal will
act as a stay on the rise until the case
has been decided. The judge will say
vwhether the landlord is justified in asking
for more money.
,, Whether this plan will afford the relief
sought remains to be seen. There
, is "an undoubted demand that something
be done to prevent profiteering. But
expert lawyers have found it difficult to
propose anything better than the plan of
the Walker bill. It makes the court an
arbitrator between landlord and tenant.
But it does not and cannot order a land
Jord to rent his house against his will.
If the bill is passed the first case under it
will disclose whether it is worth anything
t or not.
or -
FREE SPEECH IN McKEESPORT
ATA time when a serious effort is
being made to enact national legisla-
tion designed to protect the country
against bolshevism, but actually to cur
tail liberty of speech and the freedom of
the press, it will be interesting to watch
developments in McKeesport.
,, The mayor has ordered the police to
prevent open-air union labor meetings
and has instructed owners of halls to re
fuse to rent them for such purposes.
As a result twenty-four presidents of
, international labor unions, now attending
the convention of the American Federa
tion of Labor in Atlantic City, have de
cided to visit the Tube City and risk
arrest.
Pittsburgh's busy little sister city
seems determined to emerge from the
smoke long enough to get into the lime
llffht. SUFFRAGE PROSPECTS
TtTTHIN twelve days after Congress
. ' decided to submit the equal suffrage
i amendment to the states it was ratified
by Bix different commonwealths Illi
nois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Kansas
, and New York.
In Michigan, Kansas and New York
the right to vote had been previously
granted to women by amendment of the
state constitutions. In Wisconsin and
, linois the attempt to amend the consti-
tution has failed, but the Legislatures
' p have by statute granted to women the
," right to vote for presidential electors.
a lln, Ohio men only can vote.
.- Te IenI)sylvanIa Legislature is now
. a UnnfclHprino- a rntifvincr rp!nliiMni AM
equal MJffragc amendment to the Btate
constitution has twice passed this body.
When it was submitted to the voters it
fcwast voted down. The amendment passed
LiKls year will be submitted to the voters
ffi,f Sa the fall unless those In authority decide
i41ithat the chancqa for the ratification of
frif. jtho federal amendment are so gpod that
Wh i is not necessary to go to the expense.
wioien vote on the same terms as men.
istaUtt will undoubtedly (ratify the
federal amendment. In ten states women
may vote for presidential electors. If
the example of Illinois nnd Wisconsin is
followed these ten will ratify the amend
ment, making twenty-five nfflrmativc
states. Ohio is the first of the non
suffmge states to agree to the amend
ment. This makes twenty-six votes ac
tually cast or in prospect. Ten more
will be needed and they must be found
among the states east of the Mississippi
river. New Hnmpshiie, Massachusetts,
Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey,
Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, West
Virginia and Virginia would make the
ten, and unless all these consent then
votes, must be found in the southern
states, which are not yet favorably disposed!.
GERMANY NOW FACES REALITIES
AND SO MUST THE SENATE
It Is the Antagonists, Not the Support
ers, of the Intensely Practical Treaty
and League Plan Who Are the
"Dangerous Idealists"
'"pilIC nation which cairied idealism to
-1- a pitch of fienzy unexampled in the
woiM'.s histoiy has been accoided seven
days in which to think realistically.
The Senate of a great republic is
faou'd with a longer peiiod for mental
leadjustment. Until Mr. WiKon leturns
with the tieaty the upper house of the
Amencan Congress will bo enabled to
think anil act as idealistically as it
pleases.
Realitiis. howowr, will ciowd some
what heavily upon it after that date, just
as they are now piessing seveiely on
the German people, who dismissed them
so aiiily when they invaded Belgium in
l'JM.
The final answei of the Allies to their
fallen foe and M. Clemenceau's "covering
reply" are concerned strictly with irre
ducible facts. Both for Germany and for
statesmen of the type of Borah, Lodge,
Knox and Reed the withdrawal of the
di earning piivilege is in .-.ight.
Doubtless the kaNor in li'lD would
have declaieil himself the most' practical
of men, leprcsenting the most practical
of empires. Material pieparations for
the Teuton masteiy of Euiope and, in
deed, of the win Id had been carefully
and elaborately made.
But it was not upon formidable arma
ments and man-power alone that the Ger
man mind based its confidence. The em
pire was not merely fiiiting with ideal
ism. It was passionately caressing it,
clasping it to its bienst with insensate
fondness.
That this ideal was base, detestable,
ruthless and savage does not in the least
invalidate the significance of the word.
Indeed, .the very orgy of extravagant
fancies was so attractive to the Hun con
sciousness that the British aimy was
called "contemptible," the just wrath of
America was unconsideied and the
righteous anger of virtually the entire
woild was fatuously challenged. It was
"dangerous idealism" which consum
mated Germany's downfall.
The phrase is persistently obtrusive at
this moment. It falls par.icularly glibly
fiom the lips of those bind politicians
who oppose the league of nations and
convicts them of two offenses:
First. Subscription to the very code
which they profess to repudiate.
Second. Ignorance of the English dic
tionary. That volume may be profitably con
sulted. "Idealism" is elucidated as fol
lows: "Representation of things in ideal
form, imaginative treatment."
As an explanation both of Germany
and of tecaleitrant forces in the United
States Senate the definition is incon
testably pat. Imaginative treatment of
an outraged and concretely existent
civilization is clearly discernible in the
record of Teuton submarine lunacy. Im
aginative treatment of months of in
tensely practical endeavor and of the
most realistic effort to erect a structure
of world peace which shall be based, not
on any flattering misconception of human
frailties, but on a substantial system of
checks and balances, is vividly evident in
the opposition to the covenant.
It is the logical part of the simon
pure idealist to despise the international
pact. That still unsanctioned agreement
considers men and nations not as they
oughi to be in a world purged of sin, but
as they are. Idealism should proclaim
that human nature has been so scarified
by war and desolation that it may be
trusted not to resume armed strife.
To be strictly consistent the arch
radical, who adores the alleged "high
brow" weeklies and practices parlor bol
shevism with verbal effulgence, should
be adamant against any peace-preserving
pact whatever. His lamentations
over the so-called offenses of the present
document are unconvincing. His advo
cacy of "imaginative treatment" is un
represented unless he loftily dibdains any
formal pledge.
But the Senate muddlers, and their
supporters among the citizenry, are out
spokenly unsympathetic both to the
crazed militaristic, "will-to-power" ideal
ism which went to smash in Germany
and the iriational hyper-refined but still
inconsistent brand distinguished by jere
miads over "Mr. Wilson's failure."
The Borahs, the Lodges, the Knoxes
and their kind flatter themselves that
their feet are on the solid eaith. Yet
hv nrp the arch-chamnions of imagina
tive treatment in its most perilous form.
Unless their tactics arc exclusively
compounded of political bluster and par
tisan spite, these "practical men" are
embattled to wreck the only tangible and
authentic constitution ever devised to
keep erring mankind at peace, and they
are arrayed to overthrow an exhaustively
explicit treaty in favor of something else
which they would be sorely perplexed to
define in set terms.
If this is not deluded Idealism run ram
pant, what is it?
Mr, Wilson will return with a practical
document guaranteeing the world's long
deferred return to a peace basis. Per
haps Idealism in the truly noble sense,
the spirit hlch infuses concrete stipu
lations with the spirit of the loftiest
justice, might have invested the treaty
with a grandeur which it does not attain.
It is a worthy, a monumental and, on the
whole, a clean pact, none the less. But
to attack it as impractical and void of
realities simply paralyzes reason and the
Englinh language.
Germany's insane idealism will prob
ably crumble away at the eleventh hour
of the "seven days' leave." The nation
will then be fnce to face with grim reali
ties. It will acknowledge them and affix
its signatures on the dotted lines.
When the treaty the real thing this
time reaches the Sennte the last battle
in this particular phase of the eternal
struggle between the real and the unreal
will ensue. It is well that the public be
clearly informed as to what the line-up
is. Those statesmen who contemplate
repudiation of a scheme for policing an
imperfect world arc dwelling amid the
thickest fog of utterly irrational idcnl
ism which ever settled upon the political
arena.
Their destructive schemes, if executed,
will serve only to intensify the haze.
Imaginative treatment will be fantas
tically futile if the United States has no
partnership in the world peace and in the
league to prrsenc it.
If the Senate has any regard left for
popular opinion concerning its sanity it
will quit its specious nttacks on practical
measuii's for restoring the earth to nor
mal and will face the solid actualities in
its delibeiations.
The treaty is an impressive fact. Us
provisions aie authoritative and soundly
practical. Its champions have concerned
themselves with existent conditions. Its
antagonist-, have flown off upon a tangent
of "dangerous idealism." A mockery is
made of logic when they who have scoffed
at dreams soar off into impenetrable
nebulae.
Facts are the order of the day in
Weimar. They are about to become ex
ceedingly formidable in Washington.
THE GIST OF THE CHARTER
TN A few days this city will have what
A comes nearer to being a charter than
it has ever had before. The bill now on
its final stages combines into a single
document the provisions that are to legu
late virtually all of the functions of the
city government. Some functions will
continue to be performed in accordance
with old laws, but they are comparatively
few.
The Bullitt law, of which much has
been said and written, is not a charter.
It is merely an amendment in a few par
ticulars of other statutes. We have been
governed by a lot of separate laws never
concentrated into a single act. The new
charter is a codification and a modifica
tion of a laige number of old statutes.
The modifications have been radical in
some respects. The Council is entirely
reconstituted. Instead of two chambers
containing 145 members it is to have a
single chamber of twenty-one elected
from senatorial distiicts, with one coun
cilman for every 20,000 voters or con
siderable fraction thereof.
The city solicitor, who has hitherto
been elected, is to be appointed by the
Mayor. And non-specifiable public work
is to be done by the city instead of by
contract unless the Council orders other
wise. The other changes deal with details.
The civil service commissioners, for ex
ample, have been appointed by the Mayor.
They are to be appointed by Council.
There have been laws intended to prevent
the policemen and firemen from taking an
active part in politics. These have been
strengthened. The financial estimates
for the year are to be submitted to Coun
cil by the Mayor and the money needed
is to be raised by a tax, the rate to be
fixed at such a figure as will yield the
amount needed. This puts an end to the
pernicious practice of fixing the tax rate
arbitrarily and allowing deficits to ac
cumulate from year to yenr, to be wiped
out by an issue of bonds.
There are other changes affecting the
Department of Health and the purchasing
agent, but they are to increase efficiency
and concentrate authority.
The attention of the voters must be
directed toward the kind of a man to be
elected to the mayoralty and to the kind
of men to fill the new Council, for these
men will control the appointment of those
who exercise most of the other functions
and will decide on the amount of money
to be spent, and on whether the streets
shall be cleaned by contract or not.
1j n c k nf funds nnd
Three Hold -bark m-areitj of labor are
lilamoil for the stop
pBRP of lnrce railroad ronstrnetion projects.
It mifiht bo piissiblp to make a trinity of
things responsible with hail management.
The colored boy of
Slipped His Mind seventeen who has
confessed to many
burglaries with a loot Milued at $;i0,000 tins
a wonderfully retentive memory. His miml,
however, did not retain the short command
ment, "Thou shnlt not steal."
Though there is evidence
His Whiskers thnt the operations of
Sometimes Hristle United States cavalry in
Mexico were necessary
for the protection of American lives and that
their action tended to support the Mexican
government in the iiuelling of disorder, there
is unfortunately no- evidence that Carranza
will view things exactly that way.
A resolution passed
O. K. and K. 0. by the Allied Medical
Association of Amer
ica declares the use of bceis and light wines
is absolutely essential in the treatment of
certain medical coses. With the O. K. from
the doctors how can legislators be harsh
enough to give the beverages the K. O, ?
One may or may not
Youth and Age grieve over the fate of
the "school ripper,"
but one part, of it, at least, deserved defeat.
There Is no sense In putting an age limit on
the members of any cxectulvc or legislative
body. A man may bo old at forty or young
at eighty, and there are hundreds of cases
right at hand to prove It.
Kcd defenders of Petrograd, having been
forced to raiso the white Hag, are' naturally
feeling blue. Admsity may et make patri
ots of them.
CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S
LETTER
How the Five o'clock Club Boomed
Philadelphia Controller Walton
Military Record Urslnus Col
lege and the Clark Me
morial Organ
Wnshlnctnn, .Tunc 18.
WHIM the Five o'clock Club hns a mem
bership limit,,,! ( thlrt.i five and Is only
n dining organization. It hns been doing
important things fur Philadelphia during the
last month that count here in Washington,
l'irst. its members made an up-river tour
to inspect the shipjnrds in the vicinity of
ltiKlol. It is jilea.sanler in warm weather
to have an nl fresco alTiiir than to put on
evening clothes, so while eijjojing them
selves on their up-river jaunt, the members
of tl tub, who are verj substantial 1'hll
ndelphians, were able to inform themselves
nml their guests upon public affairs. The
taking over to Philadelphia of the new
speaker of the House, Mr. (illicit, to wit
ness a launching nt Hog Island, however,
proved that the festive Five o'Cloekers were
iilile to dA a turn. for the city nnd the Dela
ware river which might well have been
inti listed to some iiniiini'rcinll.v organized
promotion society. And the way they did it
is what pleased the Washingtoninns, for it
left in the minds of the latter a decidedly
pleasant Impression of "Ihc real thing" In
the life of the Quaker City. On his return
to Washington the speaker, who is a
Massachusetts man, admitted thnt his eyes
h.nl been opened with legaid to the Dela
vvaie liver and the industrial nnd coal
men inl possibilities of the Philadelphia
cnviioimient. Mr. i.ongvvorth. an Ohio
man. spoke in a similar strain. He said
it was good to know Philadelphia nnd Phil
nilelphiniis belter. This same thought was
expressed by Mr. Dunn, of New York, who
miis oni e state treasurer over there; Mr.
Vt'inslow. of Massachusetts, a big inanu
liutiirer. who recently warmed up to l'enn
mIvhiiiii while attending the Itach Festival
at lb thleliem; Mr. Campbell of Kansas,
vvhosp (oii'itituents nre too busy farming
to know much about what is going on along
the Delaware river, and Mr. (ireen, of
Inw a. from which slnte occasional com
plaint is heard with n-gnrd to the so-called
lug interests" of the Fust. All in all,
what the Five o'Cloikers did was e
tremelj helpful in warming up the leaders
nt the capital to the hig men and the big
things in Philadelphia. Few of us realize
hnvv much we have to show to the visitor
when we go about doing it in the right wny.
pAPTAIN' .-JOHN M. WALTON, citv
v i ontroller, lias a moie intimate knowl
rdge of hig men in Washington than ninny
nf his confreres about the City Mall. llis
old military record stands him in good stead
in Hns regard. In the "sixties," following
the civil war. the captain was an Indian
fighter under General Graham, a Virginian
with a line military reroiil from whom the
captain derived much of that military pre
cision which characterizes his direction of
nffniis in the controllers office. The method
of his appointment to the army is inter
esting. George W. Childs had something
to do with it. So had General George G.
Meade, who was a frequent visitor at the
Childs ofh'ce. If the taptaiu told the story
of the letter written in his behalf by Gen
eral Meade to General Grant it would de
light the younger soldier accustomed lo
modern military discipline. That letter was
to he delivered "personally" to General
Grant and the essence of the story is in the
wa.v the young Penns.vlvnnian who wanted
to light finally got it into the hands of the
gieat soldier. And it is noteworthy that
Piothonotary Henry F. Walton, a brother
of the captain, wears two service stars, nn
indication thnt the military spirit has not
vet gone out of the Walton family.
JUNK, the month of brides, loses and
commencements, has given the Penn
s.vlvanin schools and i olleges a fine oppor
tunit.v to display their work of the jenr.
Nicholas Ijirzeleie, of Norristovvn, and
Congressman Ilcnr.v W. Watson, of the
Him ls-Montgomery district, nre both very
inuih pleased with the outcome at Urslnus,
Collegeville. Under the efficient direction
of Dr. George Leslie Omvvake, this institu
tion seems to have borne up exceptionall.v
well during the war. In fact, it stood eiy
close to the bead of the list for war service.
C.u'us II. K. Curtis, John AVnnamaker and
Alb. i H. Johnson who need no introduction
to a Philadelphia audience have interested
themselves in Ursinus and constitute the
advisory council. It would have done ItJeli
ai il Campion's heart good to listen at the
commencement to the tones of the Clark
organ, since that instrument was set up as
a memorial to bis personal friend, the author
and tariff expert, Charles Heber Clnrk, of
Norristovvn.
JOHN SINNOTT, Joseph O. Trainer, Carl
0 K. Lauber and other Philadelphia dis
tillers nre looking to the White House for
some relief measure to enable distillers and
others to dispose of from 00,000,000 to
MMMMI.OOO gallons of whiskies of various
ages that nre now stored in United States
bonded warehouses throughout the country.
Il is a serious problem which the President
has not indicated a purpose to alleviate
except as he suggested in his message to
Congress that there might be a lifting of the
ban on beer nnd wine. Natiounl prohibition
takes effect nt the end of the year, but it is
the period between June .'10 nnd December
!10 that gives concern to the distillers with
icgard to stock on hand. The revenue
ofiice hns been discussing the possibility of
extracting the alcohol from the whisky in
bond, but that has not relieved those who
have so much money invested in warehouse
stock. The revenue loss is going to be heavy,
but thnt Ih not all. Soda-water, iec-crcara
and the like usked to be relieved of taxes,
though they are largely used as substitutes
for the harder stuff. Meanwhile, enforce
ment of the law in prohibition stntes is
costing the Federal Government a large bum.
THERE arc two men in Congress who nre
entitled to wear five service stars. One
of them is Florlnn Lampert, of Wisconsin,
who sent five sons across the water, and the
other is our Pennsjlvauia veteran, General
Willis J. Hulings, who contributed a like
number of bojB to the European war. The
Hulings boys comprise an interesting bunch
of young fellows, every one of whom seems to
have proudly followed in the footsteps of
their Spanish war. pater. Garnet 8. Hil
lings is a lieutenant commander in the navy,
having hnd charge of a submarine in British
waters; Courtland M. Hulings, n major in
the :UL!th Infantry, was cited in orders;
Norman McDermott Hulings was a lieuten
ant nnd pilot in an nerial squadron on the
French front ; Joseph D. Hulings commanded
the Uniteu SStaies transport, nrauonu, ami
George S. Hulings was pnymastcr on one of
the naval transports. When the Hulings
boys get together after this war Is over they
will be able to put up a line of talk that will
make the Porto Itican experiences of the
general look like a last summer's bird-nest
maybe.
There ate men la Harrisburg who aro
determined to get the scalp of the ticket
scalper if it takes all summer.
- -
The suggestion that Congress give medals
to Alcock and Brown is au excellent one.
Nor should the heroes at the. tbrc O's b
fortetten.
; direct-r1 gBt J7-- 'lifemf I
vjini i i - i-ii,j ,. . v-s w fcJ& ii'V.rfiIri;-,vijs."v; x
. " ny'i ?' -thL: ;t- '-- - j- "v Tjnui t - j-.1 . ' .-r
, . .
RUBBER
"NH of the real benefactors of humanity
" this warm weather is the man who runs
the enrdshop at HIM) Chestnut street. In his
window he keeps (.nrd with the message,
"Kind Thoughts nnd Good Wishes," and a
jolly little picture of a snow scene, probably
intended as a Christinas card, but very re
freshing to contemplate on a hot day.
We sometimes wonder if the pilots of the
Camden ferries know how much we envy
them their job?
We notice thnt the good old Beverly, Walt
Whitman's favorite ferrjbont, is undergoing
some repairs as she lies alongside one of the
Camden piers. Probably she is getting ready
to take a hand in tiansporting the July
Fourth crowds. The Beverly always gives
i:' it secret smile, for she was the scene of an
incident of pine ami unalloyed happiness.
Walt Wliftinati was crossing on her, one
evening in the npi ing of '811, when two re
porters from the then newly started Camden
Courier asked him to vviite down some of his
leuiinistences for that paper. Nothing
pleased Walt moie than to be asked to do
this. In fact, nothing pleases any one more
than to ho asked to relate the story of his
life.
Unhappily, not nil remiuiscers nre as In
teresting, as Walt. We knew an old parson
oin e he came from Brooklyn, we believfc
who used to inflict upon us copious excerpts
fiom the annals of his very blameless and
uneventful career. At thnt time we were a
student nt a certain foreign seminary where
theie were a number of Americans, nnd this
worthy old gentleman, hav(ng retired from
active pulpiteering, had apparently con
ceived the notion thnt his joung compatriots
abroad might be suffering from homesickness
and that their pangs could be nlleviated by
hearing him chirp at length on the subject of
lomparutive religions. For some unknown
reason this excellent old man fastened his at
tention upon us, ami would occasionally up
pear in our room, with a large fascicle of
inemoianda, to continue his argument
through the long course of Persian nnd Sans
krit and Oriental m.vthology. Wc were
joung and bashful and did nof know just how
to evade the garrulous elder. But at last we
became restive. One day, nt a meeting of
earnest joung men, wc seized a friend of ours
whom we knew as n youth of exceeding pa
tience and docile simplicity. We tooklhim
up to the reverend doctor, who was waiting
to catch some one's eje, and introduced him.
"Doctor Trapezoid," we said, "wc want to
present to you our friend Godfiey Fruit,
who is more eager to learn about comparative
religions than any man we ever met. Wc
have given him an outline of what you have
so delightfully explained to us, and you can
continue the argument from the point where
you stopped last night."
The old man's eyes beaconed. Godfrey
Fruit cast an anguished, gaze upon us, but it
was too late. Wc left him In fhe clutches of
Doctor Trapezoid, who was already iu iiux.
We thought we had pulled something no
tably amusing. We had bhifted the history
of comparative religious upon Godfrey, who
(wc knew) wus far too long-suffering and
gentle ever to be able to escape.
And indeed it was as we thought. Doctor
Trapezoid nnd Godfrey became inseparable.
Of an afternoon, just ns Godfrey was about
to go out to play tennis, nlong would come
Doctor Trapezoid with a new sheaf of notes
on the Zend-Avesta or something of that
sort. In spite pf Godfrey's determined ef
forts, Doctor Trapezoid insisted ou spending
a vacation with him. Wo even heard that
the doctor hod taken Godfrey on a trip to
the Levant, paying all his expenses. We
heard a rumor that Godfrey had made the
acquaintance of Miss Trapezoid, the daugh
ter, and we smiled to Imagine what the young
lady must be like.
And then, some years later, wo learned the
truth. The young lady Amanda was her
name was ns fair as the dawn, as lovely as
the rainbow. She hnd eyes that shone like
stars ou an autumn evening, 8he was slen
der without being thin, she was humorous
without being talkative, she was a creature
of curves nnd coniellnees. Godfrey had fallen
Jn love with, her and she with him, They
"SEVEN DAYS LEAVE"
HEELS
wero married. They had been married six
weeks when the old man died, and left them
$100,000.
And Godfrey did not even send us an in
vitation to the wedding.
Sentimental Reflection
As an ex -commuter, it has often occurred
to us how delightful it would be to be buried
in a lailvvay station, near the train-gate,
where we would hear, l.ving under our slab,
the footfalls of cur former fellows hurrying
for the 5:18.
It is not hind to guess thnt the section of
the pence treaty dealing with inilvvays was
drawn up by the English. For instance:
A now convention for the tr.'cnstioitntlon
of passengers, luggage and ioods.
Germany nhall accc pt tuilus and carriages
comlnK from tlio teirltones of the Allied
and Associated Powers. Ger
man wagons shall lie lilted with appcratus
allowing of their Inclusion in goods trains.
Perhaps this un-Ainericnn language is
one of the things that bothers the Senate.
And speaking of the English and Ameiicnn
languages, one of the variations of usage we
do not remember scelm; mentioned in Mr.
Mencken's book on thnt subject is the Eng
lish loaf sugar for what we call lump or cut
sugar.
The Giver
(Joyce Kilmer)
lie gave, in gentle hours,
A song of faith and flowers,
That all the world might listen and be glad.
Then darkness came . . and pain . .
And he? He gave again,
He ivc the world the noblest gift he bad.
JOHN BLACK.
The Lay of the Newfoundland Hen
Now I lay me down to lay
If only the planes will keep away:
For all my oviparous powers flee me
When I bear the roar of a VlcKcrs-Vimy.
A friend of ours fiom New York came to
Philadelphia to look around (like Doctor
Syntax) in search of the picturesque. He
told us that the first place lie went to see was
Bridesburg, as he was attracted by the ro
mantic name. Apparently he thought Brides
burg was the Philadelphia Gretun Green, and
he was disappointed to find no brides in
evidence,
Wc told him he should have gone to Elk
ton, and we also explained, to guard against
further mistake, that there are no lemons on
Lemon Hill.
And, by the wny, is there a stag hotel iu
Elkton?
One stimulant that will continue to be
brewed after the First will bctroublc.
The other evening we stopped by Ben
Franklin's grave on Arch street, and it oc
curred to us thnt Ben, as a lover of typogra
phy, would have been pleased with the excel
lent clear Caslon lettering of the tombstone
inscription. It is very rarely that one sees
stone-cutting so beautifully and legibly done.
Sam Sloth, who must have been wander
ing in the neighborhood of Eighth and 'Vine,
writes to sny that our paragraph the other
day about Clemencenu frisking with his
pupils nt that girls' school In Connecticut re
minds him of a theatrical poster ho has been
seeing. It runs thus:
40 Unklssed Maidens 40
On Tantalizing Runway
Now that the Victory Statue is gone and
Independence Hall rc-emcrges from behind
the grand stands, the town really begins to
look "as though the war was over.
SOCRATES.
-lucre is uu uni suyius umi oner mnv
uer n
drive n horso and carriage through any act
of Parliament. Investigation of the Michi
gan senatorial election may demonstrate If
such a thins is possible with a-ord.
THE LORRAINE CROSS
THE silver Cross of fuir Lorraine
Upon its azure shield,
Worn by our brnve boys, safely home
From the dread battlefield, f
Wakes in our henrts such joy and pride
As tongue can never tell,
Sicli love for every gallant lad
Who did his work so well.
What of the ones they left behind,
Docked fnst in Death's long dream?
Above their graves, through countless yean,
The same blight Cross shall gleam!
Each biave young life, so freely spent
For all the soul holds dear,
But bids us love with fonder heart
The ones who still arc here.
Our dear brave boys ! Who sees their smile
Or meets their dauntless gaze,
But visions on each valiant brow
The hero's deathless bays?
May the high emblem they have won
Be e'er their guard unci shield
The silver Cross of fnir Lorraine
Upon its a.urc field.
SUB ROSA.
Said Premier Clemeneeau to the Ger
man delegates, "I hope I make myself un
derstood." He doubtless did. He did not
iniiice his words.
Clemenceau's recapitulation of Ger
man 's crimes against civilization was
needed not only by the German delegates
but by sentimentalists the world over.
If the United States Senate should suc
ceed in defeating the treaty as It stands, has
that august body any plans, for instance, for
the government of the Saar basin?
1
What Do You Knoiv?
QUIZ
1. Who was Carranzn's predecessor
president of Mexico?
2. What is the derivation of the word nick
name? Vfi. What is a deck?
4. What territory does Germany yield to
Belgium by the peace treaty terms7
(". What is regarded as the national religion
of Japan?
0. What is the fife-rail of a ship?
7. Who wrote the story, "Daisy Miller"?
8. Is the word strata singular or plural?
0. What is palristic, literature? '
10. What American statesman was chiefly
responsible for the Missouri Compro
mise? Answers to Yesterday's quiz
1, Arthur W. Brown, navigator of the first
airplane to make a nonstop flight over
the Atlantic, was born in Glasgow of
American parents.
2. The area of England, including Mon
mouthshire, Is 50,874 square miles.
The area of Pennsylvania is 45,120
square miles.
S. The accent in the word cigarette should
fall on the last syllable.
4. Scm Benclll is an Italian poet, now ac
tive in the political affairs of the city
of Fiume. lie is the author of the
dramas, "The Eove of the Three Klnits,"
out of which an opera has been made,
and "The Jest."
5. A pangolin is n scaly ant-enter, found
in the East Indies.
0. Jute Is fiber from bark of certain plants,
chiefly imported from Bengal and used
for canvas, cordage, etc.
7. Fay Is another word for fairy.
8. Tlio Mississippi wns first seen by a white
man when Do Soto discovered it in
1512. f
0, Serbia now forms a part of the Serb-Croat-Slovene
state. '
10. The Japuneso is now the predominant ',B
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