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J&ienmg public Hedger
, ; ,THE EVENINGnTELEGRAPH
.' PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
nvntta tt r-ffnflci ii.hikw
aufctiarl If. Liiillnrloti, Vice Prildnt! John C.
rlln, He ertry ni Trenturc-r: i-niup nanin
nn ii. Williams, jonn j. BpurKfon, mrrccpra.
' EDlToniAI. BOAIID:
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Member of the Associated Press
T1J? AttSOrrATEl) 1'RKZS err',-
' att'e:i'jl cntitlal to ihr Hie of lepiihhmlhn
of nil neirs rfii;ii.cic nnlilrd 1o il nr not
,othenme nrtliteil in thii pnper, nml Uo
thr local tiftr' pulliilirii thrrrin.
All riVii- nf irpuhliralion iprft'iil i'
patches herein nxe nUo teserved.
1 Fliiladlilua, Mulidi. .Mar :t. ll'
BELGIUM RECIPROCATES
DOM PEDRO, of Brazil, wa, the la-t
royal tuler whom Philadelphia saw.
He was a goodly monarch, but tU'inoe
racy outpaced him in his nathe fond.
The kins ho is to visit us net fall is
equal to any race with that inesistibb'
movement. In fact, it was to af'$iiard
it that Albert of Belgium took up uim
against brutal tyranny and piedatory
injustice.
It is haul to tealize that he wears a
.crown. The lauiels on his brow ate those
of superbly won leadership, of aloi and
' of unalterable devotion to tlip light.
Kingl, too, is the companion of Albert
and Elizabeth. The power with which
Cardinal Mercier sustained the heroic
souls.of his countrymen, his epic e-paunl
of the truth stirred ail civilization. To
Belgium he gave hope in the face of the
blackest tragedy. To all the sane wnild
he gave an example of incoi uiptible
patriotism which inspires new faith in
the human race.
V
The pride which the city will take fiom
Ihe coming isit is veiy vital. It rejoices
also in the since. e. gratitude expiessed
by Cardinal Mercier in his letter to Mrs.
Bayard Henry, chahman of the Belgium
relief committee of the Emergency Aid.
That untiling organization and its leader
achieved a noble woik, in line with Phila
delphia's finest traditions.
As a miraculously foitunate climax to
a tragic tale the visitation of a king
greater than his office and of this il
lustrious prelate will be unique.
AN OLD-FASHIONED FOURTH
IXjlVERY once in a while it looks as
- rjinllrrfi wn vlu crMtfino a littln (n.n
and then some blamed thing comes along
and proves we aie just as fooli.-h as
ever.
That is the experience of every indi
vidual; it is also tiue of everj commu
nity and of every nation.
Take the matter of a Fourth of July
celebration. Nobody pietends to be
lieve that noise has anything to do with
patriotism. But year in and year out
we spent tens of thousands of dollars on
fireworks; and hundreds of small boys
hlew off fingers and blew out eyes; and
hundreds of thousands of dollars weie
lost in fires. Then wisdom came to u
and we advocated a safe and sane
Fourth; and when we enteted the war
we, perforce, put into practice the thing
we advocated. We had a compaiatively
quiet Fourth last year but we nevei
had a more intensely patriotic one in the
history of the country.
But now that we've won the war we
feel that we may be young and foolish
again and, despite the appeal of the state
fire marshal, dealers are laying in fue-
$& crackers and things anticipatory of the
ii' noisiest Fourth of July we have ever
known, their only fear being that the
supply of fireworks will not equal the
f. . ui.nitiu, isiauBG vk iiiaiitv IlliluuJctClUierS
Ei urora rrnov tl'ltll 1l'll onni.qnK- ,1... I i
F&V no chance to lay in stocks.
So this year the fire depattments and
the hospitals and the morgue wagons
Will be as busy as ever and the cele
braiors will be even noisier than their
Euy wont; It is plum discouragin' to peopl"
Ki of quiet tastes! '
'. TURNING OUT PURE GOLD
rpHE fact that the foreign-bom of
- Philadelphia subscribed moie than
eighty-three million dollars to the last
p$t. 'fpUr Liberty Loans gives this city a right
ki?4 wioiir It-m ,iaAii1!.iH J. ......... .1. .
r ?s, , ..in jictuimi ijiLcicai me pro
'riA eceedings of the ninth confeience of thp
U-i National Federation of Settlement Work
ers, soon to take place here. For the
I'iAi-R.""' v' " ",c '"""" tuti seiiiemenis,
1 .hi amrtiil'a nf tlia itminim 1 r.,.., t . lil ....
by educating the strangers within our
gates and making them at once conscious
!rvtKof the privileges that go with good citi
liVfaenship and the obligations that it
61 f i .. ..,. 1... ,i:.i . , . .
. jiiiiiuocs ujjwii mem, uiu raucn 10 nring
V.liAm in n fmmo nf minil"tMf1 ;v.l..... .1
' with a confidence which promoted them
ti-..'! f.ni Ivivnttf tbpir mnnov in a. :.
.v tvvji bi.iuiu.i.i.vu t,ircit uiiui aim Kinaied
'ibefr patriotism.
-ikThero fare in America today about
''Wtecn million foreign born and about
.r'.jw'enty million more of foreign parent
: .ce. Here we have thirty-five million
people who must be inspired with loyalty
' r'to the land of their adoption. It is a big
t ijrder for any melting pott
The public school doe$ much. It can-
"n Mo all. What the school does for the
" jj&ljdren the Settlement House does for
tWr parents as well as or the children.
, tt, hag tieen estimated that in an uver-
weeK loriy inuusunu persons use the
lelphia. Neighborhood Houses. Each
,CO-QprBiea wim iu i.eignoor in
UK the jiefdg of iU cllenta arid in
! tfcir liWWOHM '- s,i" . . it
-J;';
accomplishments is the bi caking down of
the racinl barriers of distrust and misun
derstanding. It needs tact; it needs care
and infinite patience. The people who aio
taught refuse to be pationized; and they
are particulaily sensitive to anything
that savors of ridicule as who, indeed, is
not? A piime necessity for their social
improvement is contact with the finer
types of Ameiicans so that they may be
nble to discriminate betwee.i the K"'1
citizen and the blatant demagogue.
It is not too much to say that what the
settlement workers do tells only half of
the story; what they nre is the other half.
THE OPEN SEASON FOR
PESSIMISTS IS STILL ON
And the Man Who Is Discouraged Over
the Mayoralty Campaign Prospects
Would Better Keep Under Cover
'TWERE aie neaii.v 4011,01)0 men nf vot--
ing ag in this city. About X25.000
of them qualify for voting by regi.-tering.
About L'nO.UOO of thorn vote. Last fall
Mr. Sproul polled lV2.44li votes and
Judge Bonniwell polled i'i!).:!'". making a
total of 211,70:1 cast for the Republican
and Democintic candidates for the gov
ei 1101 ship.
In elections foi local cantlidates sub
stantially the same 1 elation exists be
tween the number of men of voting age
and the numhei of men who go to the
polN.
Local candidate- aie Humiliated at the
local primaries. The number of persons
I actively inteiested in the selection of the
I candidates to be voted foi does not exceed
1 2.",000 that is. the men affiliated with
the paity organizations as otliceholdeis
and watd and division workoi. This 10
per cent of the voting population tell the
other HO pel cent what to do and the other
JO per cent do it.
If one were disposed to analyze the
system a little closer it might be said that
half a do7(n men tell the '25,000 what
to do.
The peitinence of this ipsume of elec
tion figuies lies in its application to the
effoits of the Chamber of Commerce to
secuie an expiession of opinion from its
membei.s on the type of man to be elected
a- .Ma.v nr next December and on the kind
of a government the city needs. A list
of questions was sent out many weeks
ago to the 7000 member- of the chambei
with a leq'uest that they answer them.
Answer- have thu- far been leceived
from "only lHOO,'' to use the phi use of
Mi. Trigg, the piesident.
But why 'only'".' This i- a pes-imi-tic
woid when used in this connection. As a
matter of fact. Mr. Trigg should feel en
couraged by the discovery that so lai gp
a pioportion of the membership ha- in
teiest enough 111 the subject to study the
li-t of question- and has already foimu
lated opinions which it is leaily to put
111 w 1 lting.
Mr. Trigg invited the 1U0 membeis of
the council of the chamber to a luncheon
to di.-cus- the .situation and l"i0 of them
went. This is a laiger pioportion than
he could leasonably have Expected.
Theie is encouiagement in it for those
who aie hoping for better thing-.
These men do not belong to the laige
gioup of "piofessional" politicians. They
are the citizens who. although they do
not take any active pai t in the nomi
nation of candidates, have definite views
on the kind of candidates they would
like to have nominated. If theie is
throughout the tanks of the voting pop
ulation the same proportion of men
with an equal inteiest in the subject they
can put their views into effect.
We have recently seen what a -mall
organized and active gioup can do when
it sets out to secuie the adoption of an
ainenument to thu national constitution
against the opposition of large vested in
terests. The nation as a whole is no
moie anxious for prohibition than the
people of Philadelphia ate for an effi
cient ami businesslike administiation in
the City Hall, and the piofe-sional poli
ticians are no more poweiful here than
the distilleis, the hi ewers and the con
sumer of alcoholic drinks aie in the
nation.
If 1300 lepresentative business men
agree on the type of a man to be nomi
nated for the mayoralty and then agiee
on two or three men of that type in whose
integrity and independence the people at
laige have confidence they can nominate
one of them and elect him. The task
would be as easy as persuading a gill to
eat a plate of ice cieam oq a hot day.
The people aie hungry for that kind of
a Mayor. But they cannot 'be fooled by
any stuffed image set up and labeled with
beautiful insciiptions. They know too
much. They have lived here too long to
bp ignorant of the character and affilia
tions of all the men of mayoralty size.
They cannot be interested in any piogram
which involves nothing more than the
transfer of the control of the mayoralty
from one group of piofessional politi
cians to another gioup. That is why in
numerable falsely called "reform" move
ments have failed in the past. The peo
ple have preferred the evils with which
they weie well acquainted to in new set
of evils to which they would have to glow
accustomed.
What is needed in the present crisis is
constructive, organizing leadership. The
voters are ready to follow any one who is
headed in the right direction, provided he
proves himself qualified to carry them
any distance on the way.
We do not mean to discourage the at
tempt of the piesident of th? Chamber of
Commerce to secure a fuller expression
of opinion by its members. It would be
splendid if every one of the 7000 should
nnswer the questions, but that is too
much to hope for. We are Jn the habit
of delegating power and delegating the
duty of selecting the men who are to exer
cise that power. This is why not only
Philadelphia but every other large Ameri
can city is really governed by a small
group of men willing to take the trouble
to manage our political cf airs fqr us. It
is why abuses grow up which period
ically exhaustithe patience of the voters
and bring about spasmodic efforts at re
Then matters Binkhack to their old
lftun? trie QJiiKians are4 on the
T . - II .i'i ,'! i,l '.hir,
EVENING PUBLIC LI3D&ER PHILADELPHIA,
the trade. The virtue of the attempt of
the Chamber of Commerce to concen
tiate the thinking of its membeis on the
next mayoralty campaign lies in its free
dom from all factional bias, and in its
application of the theory of the profes
sional politicians that the way to carry
nn election is to begin months before any
candidates have been selected by organiz
ing sentiment in favor of a specific type
of man to fill the office. The chamber
ran even force the piofessional politicians
to "pander to the moral sense of the com
munis " by nominating first-class candi
dates, as a Tammany leader once con
fessed that it was sometimes prudent
to do.
Theie is no occasion for pessimism yet.
GETTING ON TO THEMSELVES
..pHIMMIE" FADDEX, whose re-marks
were widely quoted twenty
years ago, remaiked of an acquaintance
given to subtle sayings that one needed
an elevatow to get on to him.
No elevator would have served before
the war to enable the Geimans to get
on to themselves. Their conceit was
monumental. But it has begun to shrink.
They have discoveied what the world
thinks of them and it is sinking into
their consciousness. Count von Urock-d01tT-Rant7.au
in his protest against the
economic terms of the treaty lemaiks
that (lei-many must continue. to feed the
people at home because emigration is
impossible, as the most impoitaht coun-tiie-
will oppose the entry of any Ciei-niaii-.
This is a wholesome discovery, condu
cive to humility and may lead to repent
ance. When the count lead the leply of the
Allies to his protest against the eco
nomic conditions of the treaty he must
have made another discovery not exactly
Hattering to the (Jeiman intellect. Who
ever wrote the leply is a master of state
ment. With lelentless logic he has
shown that the peace treaty does not lay
upon Germany a burden anywheie near
so heavy as she deseives, and that the
German attempt to escape fiom the con
sequences of the war cannot be allowed
to succeed.
She destroyed twelve nml thiee-quar-ter
.million tons of shipping and she is
asked to leplace only four million tons.
The fact that this will leave her with
j little shipping i, a matter which ought
1 to have been considered befoie she began
j to violate the laws of nations by sinking
I meichant craft with submarines.
And so on thiough the Hist of objec
tions mised it is made evident that the
(ieimans are asking that they be treated
to exemption from consequences which
the victorious nations themselves must
face in their own economic rehabilita
tion. Eveiy position taken by the German
delegates thus far has been demolished
as completely as the aimies of the Allies
demolished the Hindenburg line. Their
talk of lefusing to sign the tieaty must
be legarded as mere words, for they aie
as well aware as the rest of u.s that no
other course is open to them.
SAFE!
rpHEY'RE safe!
-- This was the univeisal thought when
the news became public propel ty this
moining.
If the gieatest dramatist that ever
lived had deliberately plotted the sce
nario of the Sopwith plane's adventure,
he could not have arranged a more per
fect sequence of suspense, tragedy, and
joyful, cuitainfall. Humanity is never
so rich as when it is united by some
common emotion.
Hawker and Giieve are great peace
maker. They have taken the fiist step
toward the new and happier day when
the world will again be united in a
decent community of enteipri.se. Their
Adventuie is one in which all civilized
men can lejoice. It points the way to
man's true destiny, which is the conquest
of Xatuie, not the conquest of his fel
lows. We hope the kaiser will caiefully study
the world's reception of this magnificent
news. It might teach him something
concerning the mqtives and ambitions
that elicit the affection of men.
Ma be the bo.is in
(irateful for paiade for us and
fjinall .Aleicles mabe they won't, but
whether they do or
don't, we are glad to hear that two of the
transports cart- ing detachment!! of the Sev
en! -ninth Division have been diverted to
this, port and that we shall be able to say
"Howdy!" when our fellows debark.
Theie's n touch of
Hansen He weakucs even in the
Hasn't Sampled 'ttongest. Take Ser
geant Alvin A. York,
hailed as "the greatest soldier in history."
After long experiences in the trenches in
1'iancc, which ought to he enough of its
kind, he is pining to visit the New York
subway.
The chief sanitary in-
Cli.irge. Chester, -pec-tor of the I'nited
Charge! States Public Health
Serviie says that of
'.HIT!' premises inspected in Chester, -0.''(
showed -.unitary violations. The blaina for
much of the tumblers laid on inadequate
taxes and lack of civic pride.
.General M a r c h has
(ilad to lte Home announced that all
Just Ihe Same troops except those in
the tegular divisions
will have left France by June P'. Some of
the bojs nie going to arrive here just in time
to see the country go dry.
Peace-treaty military termslfor Austria
are tegular littlo cut-ups.
Hotii charters and treaties are born of
compromise.
One always has the impression thar
Villa's name is two letters 'idiy.
Even in a bone-dry country the sun Jf
hope of the toper will rise in the jenst.
The Bibulous One declares that the only,
kick In -7i l cent beer Is found in the
courts,
It must orafort jme of the critics 'of
PrMldHt WHQBito realiw (bat no man". !
. I irf 'j..isJ- 'uaJ a '-i--J--L.au.
If
r.
PONTA DELGADA AND
i-rr- iiiiimiiinrn MAMC"
MO VVUUIVLiuu linmi.
The Ocean Flight Emphasizes tho
Need to Give the Isolated but
Exquisite Azores Their
Deserts
TF THE pangs iiiviciiiK the heart of Pitts-
ImiKliers when hu one,. uncouples tho
fiiml "Ii" finin their town nre n faithful
Index of civic senstllveness, Pont a DclRntln,
In the Axotes, is in for nn ngonl.lui time.
No less tlinn twelve different spellings of that
name have been current In the cables tie
scribinc the transatlantic tllcht. Poulndel
(indo, Pontn Oelgrmla nml Pontn Uclngndn
rank unions the tlisicspectftil prize-winners.
Other errois 'have been subtler. When the
next hatch of American newspapers arrives
the worst will be known.
Perhaps a few of the injured Pontn Del
Kntlano will understand linvv It nil hap
pened nnd he tolerant. The majority, how
ever, will doubtless be nt 11 loss to account
for the muddle, unable to appreciate how re
mote their well appointed mid attractive
little city has been from the thoughts of the
ordinary dweller ou this planet.
TXllEED, until the othei day the, English -J-
speaking world had n chronic habit of
forget ting nil nbout the Azores. When it did
leniemher them it was to laiigh with Mark
Twain or to thrill with Lord Teiinon.
One of the most delicious passages In "The
liimiients Abroad" loin-ems the bewildering
cu'iieiicj tender in Portugal mid her posses
sions before the monarch fell. Murk and
his fellow "Pilgrim" hud enjo.ved an excel
tent but not elaborate meal in a Hottn cafe.
The bill amounted to mauy thout-ands of
"rcis." Consternation ensued nt the pios
licet that the memorable excursion would be
baiikiiipt almost at tin outset.
However, iinestigntion proved that the
coin in which the natives weie accustomed
to figuring their pi lies wits worth precisely
one American mill and that what was appm
cntl a hundred-dollar glass of milk cost in
realitv only n dime.
Follow ing that vivaciously penned farce
is an admirable deciiption of the islands as
I he. appeared to the tommeiitator's keen
e.ves in the lute sixties. Hut the penalty of
humor is a heavy one. Memory of the
hilaiious restaurant scene happily nbides :
but just the same, there is a chance that
Pontn Delgadu wouldn't have been un
spoiled so often if man tendets were not a
pre to the reprehensible practice of roaming
through Mark -olel for the funny places
Actiunintiiiiip with the vivid reporting of
"The Innocents Aluoad" would have cleared
up mull a muddle during the last exciting
week ol tiausoccan 11 ing ventures.
Tcun.son is a feeble pi op. Of course, we
all know that "At l'loics in the Azores Sir
Iticliiiul I'renville hi." and we have thrilled
over that supcib picture of the "Utile He
venge" desperately battling against fifty -three
Spauish menof-war. But those pul
sating lines told us extremely little about
the locale of the epic engagement, inflicted
mi unauthorized accent on '"Flores" and
made it .difficult to pronounce the word
"Azoies" correctly without wrecking the
pi-Qsocl. No. "Tho Revenge" is not geo
graphical! illuminating. Pontn Uelguda is
unmeiitiouccl. It took the air knights to
make its "poor wolimleil name" ring around
tike globe. '
"POSSIBLY if the war hadn't smitten civili---
zatiou the charming metropolis of the
mihipelago might have been better served.
Tourist travel to the Mediterranean had come
to include a brief call at Poiitu Drlgndu. and
there was in stole for the traveler a series
of agreeable surprises. lie realized, often
enough for the first time, that the Azores
bote no relation to his fancied pietuie'.
Isolated the are. !)tl(l miles fiom Europe
to the ea-t. more than 3200 from Newfound
land to the northwest. Hut their seasoning
of civilization is just about sufficient to har
nioni.e with their supeilutive natural charms
and a climate that honestly deserves as burs
does" not the name of temperate. Some
times the mercury descends to 48 or rises to
.St!. I.uvurianf vegetation, without the occa
sional lankness of the true tropics, is the
result.
The tiees bear a banquet of fruits. - The
well-tilled and fertile fields supply most of
the lice e-sities of life. The'sceuic investiture
is well-nigh unsurpassed. The volcanic origin
of the gioup is responsible for mountains of
fantastic- beaut, for healthjgivinK. hot
spring-, for fascinating miniature geysers,
(iieen hillsides descend clear to the water's
edge There are vistas in the archipelago
wheie the -en takes on Ihe aspect of a mighty
blue liver contained within majestic bauks.
COMING nfter nn ocean voyage, the first
view e,f Pontn Delgada is a positive en
f'liaiitiiieiit The impression is qlmost Vene
tian. The buildings, kaleidoscopic in their
lines, seem to rise straight out of the harbor
waters, l.nige steamers cannot anchor nt the
shore. The landing is usually made in har
bor rowboats mid the traveler is carried to
a well-worn marble or other stouc stairway
which he mounts to the embankment, Hanked
on one side by pink, blue or white ware
houses and commercial buildings, faced with
the decorative tiles that are So common in
Portugal.
The picture is very much like one's dream
of what is "foreign." North America can
show nothing like it. Its appeal is a com
bination of the Levantine nnd sunny lauds
peopled b folk whose ancestors once spoke
Latin. -
Theie is no ueed to be suspicious of the
native costumes. They are not theatrical,
like those of the Niagara Falls Indians, but
authenticnll worn. Among the quaintest
are the huge dark hoods of the women
Fortunately, discomfort does not go hand
in baud with pictuiesqueness in this in
stance. There nre motorcars for a spiu
through the lovely island of Sao Migupl not
San Migitel, as the common misspelling has it
- there arc native hotels for those who enjoy
tiled bedroom floors and eggs with tomatoes
in the Portuguese fashion; there is an abun
dance of sua,ve light wine; and for those
fearful of "foreign habitations and harmon
izing food" there is Brown s.
At least there used to be before the war.
Brown's siirvejed the broad Atlantic from
the crest of ,a high hill back of this engaging
little city of 17,000 souls, nnd no Devon
shire could surpass its clotted cream nor the
English cleanliness of its cool apartments
and great downy beds.
A brief trip in the surrounding country
disclosed more surprises palatial homes of
wealthy springtime visitors from Portugal,
formal gardens rivaling those of the Riviera
in splendor.
IN A sense it is Calypso's isle on which
Commander Bead has lauded. Magically
lie flew to a magic realm. By virtue of his
marvels the world has been brought to know
that IV'nta Delgada exists. Do not good
manners, therefore, dictate that one should
correctly repeat' the name after the intro
duction? V
When the king and queen of Belgium
visit Philadelphia, they may be sure of a
welcome both hearty and democratic.
Court proceedings have justified the very
natural conclusion that Atlantic City Board
walk chain Votnpnlw are plwrig&aHJwct In
1
"V
" J2
'
;
MONDAY, MAY 2Gl,
iolo
"HAWKER AND GRIEVE, PASS BY! . dA'T STOP YOU ! IT
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THE CHAFFING DISH
NINETEEN public: -spirited Ineu in New
Yoik. of various professions, submitted
themsclns to tesfJi in order to ascertain
whether -:,i beer is intoxicating.
It seems to us interesting that Ihe greatest
prowess was exhibited by u steel engraver,
who drank fifteen bottles. Hard on his trail
weie a pi-inter, a bookbinder and an elec
trician, vvitli thirteen .bottles each. A bank
cleik mid a cignrmaker dispatched nine.
Is there any subtle significance in the fact
that those who logged the lenst lager lagged
brhind ;vitli the lager, we might say came
iu several laps behind were a journalist, a
publicist uud an artist. The journalist sank
six and a half beakers, the publicist three,
the humiliated artist only two.
It was the miauiniqus verdict of the doc
tors who presided at this interesting func
tion that none of the sodality showed any
tokens of excess. The broker's clerk who
dinnk eight bottles if. three hours left to
attend a wedding. The only one who seems
to have been nt all deranged by the ordeal
was the manufactuier of t.vpewriter sup
plies, who drank six bottles and then "ad
dressed the company, outlining a project for
establishing a social center nt Newark,
N. .1." '
Halted at the Altar
The uaygisli humor, of our friend Lieu
tenant JohnJtansom has jiof 6ce tarnished
by his military service. ''From his present
nail in the school detachment. Sancu,
Fiance. A. I'. O. 013, A. E. F., John sends
us the following. And hjl the May, those
ncho are inclined toicatd high-tension litcia
luie will do icell to have a look at John's
book, "1'ocms About God," some portions of
telikh fust saw the light in this department.
I. Obeisance
ROGER THE BEAUTIFUL, that finished
blade.
Descended fjill of conquest on n city,
v,l uhnt a furious racket Boger made!
He sacked the town, and ruled it without
pity.
He jilted the city maids. The city mothers
Praved heaven to thunder on that cllov
pate,
Until at lust, surpassing all the others.
Appeared a maid equipped for Roger's
mate.
And her he royally wooed; for she had
beauty. , , , ,
Estate, and loved him with a lacking vvtt ;
A noble alliance being Roger's duty,
Behold the nuptials set, the license writ.
But wait! The lordly lover has smelted a
fault,
The biddcu guests may laugh, the wedding
must halt.
II, Obesity.
ROGER contemned -the 'obese of woman
' kind: ' '
Himself he teetered like n poplar tree,
His love was like a willow In the wind
Albeit her mother ambled heavily.
But monstrous" grandara, corning many a
league v
To bee the bridegroom, weighed upon his
joy j,
Iud pictifres, .showering on lfrm like the
plague,
Ancestresses of huge avoirdupois.
He knew .his beauteous bride was doubly
dooiuejr
By two heredities to Increase and thicken ;
This bride, he swore, bad better not be
groomed !
He took another town. .But she was
stricken.
And has she waxed amalu, and does stle
grow
Unto his dread V-Jronically. No!
JOHN CROWE RANSOM.
Early History of Teetetalltm
. jKarW
iu'titf is -
a
v-
self under Doctor Tiillilll. who has pie
scrlbeil water. I'harles, in consequence,
lesolved to accommodate himself to her,
and since Ixml-ilayor's clay has abstained
from all other liquor, as well as fiom
smoking-. We shall all rejoice If this ex
periment succeeds. His Change
of habit, though It, on the whole, hnpioves
his health, jet vhen he is low-spirited
leaves him without a-iemedy or lellef.
Letter of Henry Orabb I'.oblnson to Miss
Wordswoilh, Dtcember 23, 1810.
Spent part of the evening with CharleS
Lamb (unwell) and his sister.
Robinson's Diary, January 8, 1811. -
Late In the evening Lamb cajled, to sit
with me while be smoked Ills pipe.
Robinson's Diary, December -0, 1814.
Lamb was In a happy frame, anil I can
still lecall to my mind the look arid lone
with which he addressed Jlooie: "Jllster
Jloore, will you drink n glass of wine with
me'.'" suiting the action to the wool, and
liohnobblng.
Robinson's Diary, April A, 1823.
Lightship breaks away from her moor
ings, but Is safely bi ought to port. News
item. '
What one might call, bringing home the
beacon.
It is safe to guess that Alvin York, the
red-headed sergeant from Tennessee who
killed twenty-five Germans with his machine
guu, would have been glad to turn the
weapon loose on sonic of those who tried to
heroize him at a New York hotel, v '
How Old Was the Reporter?
Blown (navigator of the Vlckers-Vimy
plane at St. John's) was born In Glas
gow In 1886, 13iown Is a quiet, dark-haired
man, whose bright gray eyes' belle his
age. Dispatch to New York Times.
Every little bit jelps seems to be the at
titude of Germany on reading the text of the
pence treat'.
Notes From Marathon
(By our special suburban correspondent)
Now that the war has been vj-on, Bill Stites
is. said by competent, observers to be loafing
ou his garden. It is alleged that he spends
most of his time ou the back porch mending
tires.
Hank Harris has found a tobacconist in
Bethlehem who has a stock of genuine pre
war Vulcan safety matches,"' but refuses to
divulge the name of the dealer Hank has
had three radishes and a currant worm from
bis garden already. Loud sneers from Fred
Myers. -
'
There are excuses for Mlank, however,
Both his neighbors keeii chickens, but they
don't keep them home. " '
Fred Myers has movvrd his lawn.lmt re
fused to cut Hank's, saying that he was not
a haymaker. '
,.
The hunting season has opened with, a
blare of glory. Hank Harris, muster of the
Marathon weasel pack, has conquered three
rats.
-
Bill Stites is rarely seen on the 8 :13 these
flue days. It is rumored that he rides on
the 8 :, the Bankers' Express.
H. T. C. says, that humanity is altruistic
at heart, and adduees as evidence the fact
that when one's lint blows off one never
needs to chase it. Some one else will al
wayg run after it and retrieve it.
Or, Damn the Kaiser Anywayr
The wireless call signal of Hawker' vlaue
was D, K. A. We r wondering. In, the
i ASLi'KLfeffisa
r.iswhe
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UK'H".
THE OPEN BOAT
.w1
'HEN this 'ere war is done (sajs Dan)
and all the tightiu's through.
There's some will pal with Frittf again as
they've been used to do
But mil me tsa.v's Dan the" sailorman), nott
me (sa.vs he).
Lord knows it's nippy in an open boat on
winter nights nt sea !
When the Inst battle's lost nn' won or won
nn' lost the gnme.
There's some'll think no 'arm to drink with
square'eads just the same
But not me (says Dun the snilorman), an
if you ask nie why,
Lord knows it's 'thirsty iu an open boat
when the vVnter beaker's dry!
When all the 'bloomiu' mines are swep' an
ships are sunk no more,
There's some'll set them down to eat with-
Germans as before.
But not me (says Dan the sailorman), not
me for one.
Lord knows it's 'ungry in an open boat
when the last biscuit's done!
When peace is digued, an' treaties made an'
trade begins again,
There's some'll shake a German's 'and and
never see the stain.
But not me (says Dan the sailorman), not
me, as God's on high.
liord knows it's bitter in nn open boat to
see your shipmates die !
C. Fox Smith, iu "Small Craft.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Who is Hugh Wallace aud what is his ,
post?
i. AVhat is the wettest known region on
earth ?
.'I. Why is a drink to a lady a toast? ,'
4. Who wrote the novel "The Fnir Staid1
of Perth"?
(i. Why is n violoncello so called?
u. What were the names of Columbus's
ships? A
7. AVhat- is the literal sense of "en
thralled"?
8. Hovy did the Bolshevists regulate tips?
"J. Who fixed the prize for the transocean
flight?
10. Why is a bay or n gulf called a bight?
s
-
Answers to Saturday's Quiz
1. Arislides the Just was an Athenian '
statesman and general, born about -lflH
B.C. He instituted important civm
icforms and paVtielpated iu 'the vic
tories of Mtirathon, Salamis and
Plataea.,
2. Paraffin is fatty substance, derived
i by dry distillation from wood, coal,
petroleum, etc.
3. "Parthian thrust" ; remark, glance, etc.,
reserved for the moment of one's de
parture, like a missile discharged back
ward by a tlying Parthian horseman.
i. United States seuators are paid $7500
a year and nioneyfor mileage and cer
tain other expenses,
5.. Formosa was annexed to Japan Iu 1805,
as a result of tji'e Chlno-JIipaueso war.
0, A "blimp" is a. type of lig'hter-thau-air
airship. '
7, A- catamaran is a raft or float of logs,
tied, side by side, lougest Iu the nitddle,
used for communication with the shore,
or for short voyages,
8. Trepaug is a kind of shellfish or sea-
nine, found in tropical vvatef and used
extensively by the Chluese in making '
soup, : fa?
n. The battle of Waterloo was on.Juit'
,., 18,1810. a ,, ., ,. x '-1 S
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