:
y
7
)."
r
! iV-t
-
-,
it "
t , ! 10
-EVEXJLNtt PUBLIC LEDGER-PHILADELPHIA, THURSDAY, MAY 15," 1919
L
Stoning public Ule&ger
k THE EVENING TELEGRAPH
jtfri' PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
. t'.CYfllfS Jf. IT. fTITttTt PirtitiMuT
ripM ti. i aid met on, view rrtfnnt: .John i'
. cnrreiary ana Treniurer: I'niup comns,
j. will. amy. John J Ppurirpon. Director.
rniTntit A 1. n inn
U-- .4' l nn ir 1.' Jn-.. !,. !...
E,nA,VlD B. BMII.RT K.lllor
g'.jHHW tf. aiAKTIN nenerl ninlnm Managn-
fti . Illblllhrd dallv at Titi in f.Kltnfcn ItnllHInr.
AUlmo ClTT
Nnr YoiK.
. rirROIT
inarprnaence equarr, riiuaiif ipnta
:. .. I'rrsT-tHifm iiiiuiiinic
. -00 M-lropollfin Tower
Till Tord llullfllnc
Inns Kiillcrion nnlMlnr
1.102 ri-itiimr UutMltif
t?'OMIPAOO. . i
'WiSHltoTON tii'rr.
't tt. R. Cnr Iennlnnla A aiirl 11Mt SI.
BiVWur.'Toiiic notir.tij . Th Sim iiMiiiiim
WW7" ?!PO! Uuor.AU ... Unnlon riiiii-t
r st'tw nirTiov TKnMs
"? The KrHNtsn Pi to Ir Lrnnrtt I aArM In anh
wriDars in riiljarlelphm ami aiirrmimlltiK town
t tha rat nf twelve (ll'l rent, p-r weet, paabt
to the carrier.
,,nr full lo point" nulln of PlillnnVlnliln In
th United Stiles Canada or t'filld Stat" tin.
elons, poMnfe free flft r.nl irnts par mmtth
81 (fni dollar per veai nay-thle in ndanc
To all forelsti totmlrlrs one 111 dollar per
hlnnth.
Nimrn Rnlnrrlbers w 1. bine Mdre.s fhnniwd
WUBt irlVG old as well rs new addre...
IllI.L, 3000 WAI M T KM STOAT. M UN 3000
E7" Addrrai all cttmuntral tonv lo Hi rutt'O Vuhlu
JdCdofr hldrpriidr rr Srpinrr, PlilJnilrlphin
Member of Hie Associated Press
RI ilia daoui 1.1 I bii 'rv.s.s n crew-
fcfk lively entitled to tlir me for icpiibliealinn
' of nil (icirj dispatches credited to it nr nut
otherwise credited in this paper, and ntso
ihc local neivs published therein.
All rights nf republication nf special dis
patches herein are also reserved.
PhUlrlphl. Ihur.da.. Mil n. 1111
h THE RIGHT THING
AA"f (TlH l'i nni'L i-nmnikcmn lii iclml in n
1" t.. . ..... V. ... .
cj. muiuy way in ticiiiiiieiy ;iii(i wiuioui.
;'A equivocation authoiiKinp: the ilniiijr of
games in the paiks on bumlav .
Golf has Iouk been pled in I'olib
Creek Paik and baseball lias been played
at Fairmount. It was suggested tliHt
the park guards be dnected to permit all
orderly games on Sunda without any
formal action by the commission. Tln
could have been done, and we could have
hypocritically pretended that we were not
t consenting lo Sunday sports for the
people.
j. The commission has been too honest
?t and self-respecting to take any such
P cowardly course. Its action will com
mend itself to the judgment of all those
j5 who believe m providing all possible
ways lor the orderly lelaxation oi me
''' neonle on Sunday.
lv :
& TUC nilADH IM THC RCCT UAMnC
PENNSYLVANIA ha long been pioud
ffi of William G. Price, but theie is a new
PA thrill in its admiration and affectum as
K if" Trftrrn trie tilic rrull.ittt .flw.ot. uimI ti,n-
; -.v 'v.-avo v.iu (.(tiiuni. iri.ii.i-. linn 1 1 -
WpK. nntllnrl nntltv iti liic twi iln nf immmiin.
der-in-chief of its reoiganized National
Guard.
Governor Sproul, who announced the
appoiplmcnt at ths city's dinner to Gen
eral Muir last night, fervently hailed
Brigadier General Pi ice as his boyhood
friend. To this charm cf old association
the citizenry of this state fondly yield.
Not alone for his admirable services in
Rshis artillery command in the Twenty
KJ eighth Division during the war is war
feranty for Geneial Price's new honor to
ff be found.
S Vr tnn 1 aannio K.. 1. .. . !.-.. .. l.ultl!.. a. 4
4. ut i.iaii.y tuai itu iiu uuuu u utiuuiiiL
and conspicuous liKure, lirt as colonel
of the old Pennsylvania Third Regiment.
Kand his sound administrative abilities
H' have undoubtedly played a notcnt part
g in the achievements of our state troops.
The link between their superb accom-
f-foi plishments m riancc and their able
Li, training at home in the National Guard
& days can be clearly traced.
If .Brigadier ueneral 1'rice is as pleased
$ over his deserved laurels as Pennsylva-
nians are, he is a happy man today.
v.: .- r.-ZZ
rC MUW lUUtl lUbttJbAUhV
fTIHE Chamber of Comraorw meant well
; - in cabling President Wilson to sus-.
pend further removal of the pneumatic
moil tubes until Congress could discuss
ytho subject, but it obviously avoided the
heart of the difficulty. That, of course,
Sr.is the incumbency of Albert Sidney Bur-
Sileson, whose responsibility for destroying
a yital instrument in Philadelphia's
R postal service is direct.
"ST Tired as the nnblic mav bp nf lnirmr-
anuub int.- pusunusier general s prolonged
I eeries of fatuities, the monotony of this
t censure is less wearisome than the pres-
J ence of a discredited blunderer in office.
The mail-tube mess is merely one of an
indefensible series. This expeditious
postal' machinery for years served the
ity admirably as a similar system still
Tdoe's in Paris, where the speedy "petits
Sbjeus" often reach their destination
-within an hour. The excuse for abandon-
spine it ncrc is aoout as clear as that lor
jpStMr. Burleson himself. That is to say,
: a. . i . i ....
fuliy as transparent as a masonry wall.
SENATE CAN TEAR IT TO PIECES
ferpHE Senate is under no compulsion of
J- law, precedent or custom to accept
ifihe peace treaty in the form in which it is
fSjiubmitted to it.
No attempt to create the impression
fhat the treaty must be accepted or
fersrbjected can succeed, for the reason that
Bjjnowledge of the processes of trcaty-
H?jmntrinp' is ton n-eneral.
' The constitution provides that the
sfc'rresident "shall have power, by and with
ri ir j..:- 1 AAHn4- -p iu c x i
"tine, auvitu aiiu (.unoviiL ul iiie oenuie, 10
wjnTako treaties, provided two-thirds of the
fliinators concur." The initiative lies
rIVith the President. Advice is the func-
& 4? i. .. ji f 4hi C?nlin T atl IAt1tinlP 1tfaa..ln
i flHJ Ul H1U t3CHI.C Ullll VUIIACUI. uciiuijua
ij 'whether it wisnes to insist that its
jrjgo be accepted. There can be no
ty unless the minds of the benate
of the President come together,
is elementary and fundamental.
" ."'Treotics have frequently been amended
k- AtA. C?nH..rt Till. DMaidnnf hn.'n.l...!
py me ot:nai.e, mi. iwiutiiv hud iiimtu
thl nation, jnterestcd to accept the
r'' i 1 1 ...!... 11 1 1
UHlHieiUB, anu wiicii Hicy imvu ueen
eeuted the treaties have become valid.
r Rut the President is as free to reject
aQtcndments made by thg Senate as the
Seiii,ia tp make amendments.
PiesidentQjfc, in loio, sent to the Sen-
ale '"JIWh" li fitly wiin rrussia,
f which He explained
The Jjenatti ratified
le, Piesident reftw
jrrXtctioiW flU'l. $it)1fi
Mlmt. znimeuK ;.very
knows that the Senate has rejected many
treaties which the President has nego
tiated. The power of the Senate and the powct
of the President are clear and definite.
The Senate may rewrite the peace treaty
from beginning to end, but it would only
have its tioublo for its pains, for it is not
likely that the President would submit
such a lewritten treaty to Germany.
The question nt issue is not one of the
powers of the Senate, but one of expe
diency. Is it prudent for one In audi of
the treaty-making power, through pride
of opinion, to delay or possibly to pi event
the making of peace between this coun
try nnil Gei many?
The Senate, whatever it may do, can
not pi event France and Kngland from
making peace.
WHAT DO THE SOLDIERS THINK
REVIEWING THE GRAND STANDS?
The Iron Division Fought In an Endless
War That Requires More Than
Cheering at Home
T"1'.T us in iinajriliu
familiar oidur an
nation ii'wi-o the
lid suppose foi a
moment that the foil; at home wcie
icviewed by the men of the Iron Divi
sion. Would theic be applause and flag
waving in the stands as we went by'.'
What have ive been doing in a vast
adventure that included the Maine and
the Aigoiiue forest and the collapse of
Germany as moic tn less fleeting inci
dents? How should we appear m the
eyes of men who, a ilo.cn limes a day,
had lo be gieat oi die?
The Iron Division and the othei divi
sions that fought beside it didn't go
abroad mnioly lo crush Geimany. They
fought to continue life, libcity and the
pursuit of happiness, for justice and
right and to insure, above all things,
reasonableness and decency in nil human
lelationships.
That sort of wai is end'ess. To assume
that it was won finally in France is to
cherish a delusion. The ultimate deci
sion will be made where all gieat vic
tories aie won in the minds of men.
I'cniis.vlvauia, which sent the Iron
Division to France, has been one of the
great battlegrounds in the univeisal
cause, The pioneers weie men who
lcbellcd and lost and rebelled again, and
retiied fighting to new positions of
advantage. They fought the stubborn
earth and wrung wealth from it. They
fought the wilderness and they fought
ignorance and inherited haticds, and yet
they did not win completely. They came
in succession English, Gcimans, Welsh,
Irish, Italians, Poles waging together
an instinctive warfare for a common end.
These men coming home are their sons,
who have been merely continuing ovei
the ancient course and onward to a des
tined light.
Theie was a time when it appealed
that the end of the way had been almost
leached at the Marne and later in Paris.
If we were an imaginative people we
should have seen the departuie and the
arrival of American soldiers as a gieat
symbol as the end of a vast cycle. They
would have been the sons of ancient war
riors, striking back once more when they
had become stiong and completing a task
beg i in far centuries.
But it is becoming appaient that Ger
many was but a major obstacle that had
to be cleaicd away.
Ignotance, greed, selfishness, bigotry
and cowardice, familiar curses, aie still
pcisistcnt. Thev make a blight that isn't
confined to Europe.
It is pietty certain that if the Iron
Division occupied the stands today and if
our conduct at home had been as "minutely
repoited as theirs was in France a great
many of us would pass in silence along
the route of the parade.-
There would be the political profiteers,
who even now are fumbling and plotting
furtively with what, in their lingo, is
called "the soldier sentiment." Theie
would be civilians in high hats thou
sands of them who believe that their
service to humanity may be done and
completed in after-dinner speeches.
What of the Legislature that is so
often dtoll when it isn't inept? What of
the senators who flee away to quaver and
pray for guidance at the ivied tombs of
their political ancestors whenever an
unfamiliar thought drifts along to strike
them helpless with pure funk?
Lawyers and judges would come in a
considerable number, and about a good
many of them the men of the Pennsyl
vania division might hesitate in doubt.
Have they been valorous, reckless of self
interest, brave, self-sacrificing, resolute
in the service of truth? The men who
endured the Argonne forest, who made
chaos of the proudest contingent that the
Germans could organize from all their
divisions in the field, would not be likely
to cheer men who quake at shadows and
waste their days in quibbling over the
precise meaning of a traditional phrase
in times like these.
The Iron Division in the reviewing
stands would look with tolerant curiosity
on those editors who are professional
propagandists of ignorance and the
deliberate weavers of popular and
profitable delusion.
Men of the sort who compose the Iron
Dlvied0" have found ignorance a deter--mWii
siwsiy in all the generation of
. tlteir VufcflBt- '")
lMt jroureT power.
ful kings, the wealth of empires, the
shrewdness of men trained in IbVarts
of befuddlcmcnt have been mobilized
against them. And yet they have never
been conquered. '
They never can be conquered because
theirs is n cause greater than kings,
greater than d.tnastics greater than
empires, greater than money and greater
than life. It is the desire for liio triumph
of justice and reason in the affairs of
humanity. It is universal.
Every tyrant has opposed it. And
where aie the tyiants now?
Men do not always define their pur
poses even to themselves. And Ameri
can soldiers fought instinctively for an
idea. And if, through a superficial view
of the war, we at home do not realize
that idea, the war in which the lion Divi
sion won gloiy will be lost so far as we
aie concerned.
If there is one duty that America owes
the returned soldiers it is to think clearly,
bravely, without hysteria about the times
that are past and the times that arc
coming. Left-over platitudes and the
abort ations willed on us by high-salaried
hatcmakcis will not do.
Base old men who called themselves
scholais, naiiovv groups huddled in sod
den complacency without consciousness
of the common life that moves the world,
have been the sources of what we have
born calling cultuie. Wc have aped their
gestures sedulously enough. But the war
and the experiences of the lion Division
and its like have provided clear sugges
tions of a truci cultuie in Ameiica.
To be as clean-handed as our. soldiers
were, as proudly aloof from a thought of
loot, to lecognize the validity of no rule
of life that is cruel or unjust lo others is
to approximate an intellectual ideal
worthier than anything yet commonly
taught m schools.
It is not because we are niscr, but
because we are stronger and more free,
that America may lead and serve the
world. And we cannot be propagandists
of liberty and justice among others if we
aie illiberal and unjust, soidid and selfish
in our lclalions with one nnothei.
Welcome home, Iron Division!
This would be a great day foi Penn
s.'lvania if people every wheie in the
stands, big and little, high and humble,
could shaie in the next few years even
a little of the spirit that swept you along
at the Marne, at Fismes and in the
Argonne.
HARMONY WITH A CAPITAL P
rpHE agi cement of the Republican sona---
torial caucus on Cummins, of Iowa,
favoied by the piogressives, as piesident
pio tempore, foreshadows a haimonious
organization of the Senate next Monday.
It is intimated that the progiessive
minority has secuied the promise of fair
treatment in the apportionment of com
mittee chairmanships and in leturn has
agreed to support the general program.
Whether the piogiessives will vote for
Penrose as -hairman of the finance com
mittee and Waircn as chairman of the
committee on appropriations docs not yet
appear, but it is not likely that they will
vote against them. Between what they
regard as two evils, they seem to prefer
to accept Peniosc and Warren to permit
ting the Democrats to organize the Sen
ate by continuing the fight within their
own party.
As they hold the whiphand. and will
continue to hold it so long as the Repub
licans control the Senate by a narrow
margin of two votes, theie is likely to be
harmony with a capital P, standing for
progressive legislation. All forward
looking Republicans hope so at any rate.
Tin- Kc.vstoun Division lirln up the arch
of llio Allied offensive.
The magnitude of the grand stnml inani
fistocl by those of us who could procure no
srats is tlm real recoid-breaker.
TIip Huns seemed to have misiiuderstood
our way of making peace just an completely
as thev did our method of waging war.
No matter vvlint the calendar niijs, the
t niversity of Pennsjlvania teaching stall
re'oiees that the next fall means u rise.
The Vnivcrsity has round the money
needed to increase the pay of its professors,
but the Board of lMucation gives up the
tak.
In a WUJ- it is ton bad IliHt (ieruinny
loses all her aircraft. A little "see-plain"
nimpment would he decidedly beneficial in
her present quandary.
When it comes to decorations for a
naiade Philadelphia does not have to take
a back, seat for anybody. Her artists and
architects have done themselves proud.
The prospect of cheaper wheat, which
means cheaper bread, is dangled before our
eyes. Hope it is not like a carrot tied to
a stick before a donkey's uose iu order to
keep him going.
And the wounded men who reviewed
the parade now know how General Persh
ing feels when the men march before him.
And every American ioldier carries n gen
eral's stars in hia knapsocK.
The Peerless belied Its name and did
not bring its load of troops home In time
tn be welcomed today. But there will bo
welcome enough left over to warm the hearts
of the boys when they land tomorrow.
'l'lic Dutch (iorcrnment denies, that it
has decided to give up the former kaiser.
No one has asked for him yet, It says. Uut
if Count; Bentinck should be consulted ho
would certainly say that his guest is out
staying his welcome. ,
Now the Democratic senators will quote
holy writ and ay to the Republican major
ity, "Wo? unto you, for ye pay tjthe of
mint and j.riw'aadCummiwr and ncjleej
to ISgltV f m pHwurejV
THE GOWNSMAN
The Questionnaire
AQi;i:STIONNAIIin Is a piece of .other
J' wle harmless paper on which some idiot
ha caused to be printed, or otherwise mani
folded, a lint of idle cpiestlons. Ingeniously
concocted to consume time nnd lo ninvver
what nobody cares n rap about mid what no
body can possibly be the wiser for knowing.
le shnll not call the tiuc.stionnnlrr n scrap
of paper: it is too Unimportant for that, al
though vexatious enough to beget, even in a
hnbkually temperate man, the exasperation
out of which wars are made. The color of
the paper on which the iiiestiojinalre is
printed is unessential ; it is the color of the
questions that tell, or rather that make the
victim tell. Kor the thing begins with the
Insinuating (lattery that there is rrnlly some
body who actually cares what opinions jou
maj hold .tbout something or other. It pro
cerus with the seductive assumption thai,
holding opinions, jou courleouslj desire to
share them with that eager nud appreciative
body, the rert of mankind ; and that jour
intensely becoming modesty has alone pre
vented jou from the illumination of the
world, until thus cross-examined into levela
I ion.
rpllll subject of the qiipatiiiiinuiie is uni
J- porta nt, nnd it maj be verj diverse. 'I
I in
Che
onjpa is nlwnjs the snme, (lie ultimate ven
tilation of some notion or other and the
affected support oT it by the happy indcter
lnlnateness oT statistics; to the end that ve
max decide the primary laws of existence,
the fate of nutions, the policy of schools, our
belief In gods or ghosts, our stand on rum and
ruin, our notions about votes and violence, all
by the simple democratic method of a slioiv
of hands. , '
TN IjUROPE (he questionnaire is pari of a
J- man's daily life ; bis birth, his christening,
education, marriage, death nnd burial are
subject to it, and his income, as ours, too.
of hite. suffers a questionnaire only sboit in
Its thoroughness of that of the Spanish In
riuisilion itself. Women in Europe feel no
affront upon inquirj into their age: thej are
inured to it from joulh And what can il
matter, my dear, if you really don't look if
So truthful ii( this ipport have Tieuch and
English women become that il is said that
few fail to remember their actual birthdajs
by moic than a slip nf ten jears or so. al
though longevity in the sex is limited abo
Intel to the age of forty.
THE Gownsman has icgislei
n In roiiln qiirstinnnairubl
led his opinions
ble iiuiiij a day
and oft. ami he has consumed much linnel
grnjMi matter, the gasoline of tbo brain, in
I be process. I low often lias be recorded his
"name, surname, middle name (spelled oul
in full)" the Gownsman bates In spell out
his middle nnine or even to disclose it all
at tliebibesl of the questiniiiiaiie. How often
has he discovered the place of his hiilh (Hie
onlj compensation about which is Unit it was
not Philadelphia I : how often thai distant
prehistoric peiiod, Ihe dale of bis fust an
pe.iraiue on this distracting planet IIi
phue of residence, alwuvs subject to liieh
change; his present orriip.it ion. bis previous
auditions of servitude, the maiden nnine of
his wife's aunt Ihe nulj name the poor, dear
ladj ever had his leliginn nnd his lnomen
tarj adhesions to cieed, his politics uui des
peration therein, bis hopes of salvation and
trepidations thereon, the color of his ejes
and his hair what theie is left of it his
favorite game as if theie inuld he any
gnnie left after niisweiiug All is subject
In the questionnaire.
TllK (inw nsman has
kind of a man is tl
has oflen vvondeied what
le cnncoctcr of u ciues-
ticinnaiie. lie must be alike n verj liusv and
a verv idle per-on. Ilusj in the affairs of
eierjboclv. one wonders if be can have auv
nffairsaiif ho own. Idle, or be would never
have the time, ns man's linfuV with man
iisiuillj goes, to think oul such ingenious nnd
trivial questions or to attach such importance
to trifles which nobodv ele would think of
lurking up off of the footwiijs of djilv life.
Sometimes the questionnrj is a school
hioker. Vow n school -broker i- the go
between, coupling a would-be teacher with
his rmplnvcr. and a questioiinaiic is part of
the equipment. It inquiies narrowly into
ever.vtliing and comes alvvajs, like Hamlet's
father, in a questionable shape. "Is he (or
she! a stiicl disciplinarian?" "Is he (or
shel a Methodist V" "Docs he lor she)
drink or use tobacto to' excess''" These are
actual questions of actual questionnaires.
And how is the honest man to answer them?
How is an unobservant (!ow nsman to know
whether he (or she) really is a Methodist, ex
cept bj means of a theological investigation
from which his natuio shrinks? How is he
to know whether he (or she) drinks to ex
cess'' What is excess? And. nowadajs,
drinking what? Resides, who is the Gowns
man that he shall pass on the sweetness of
any woman's voice? Another query, asks
solemnly. "Have jou seen him (or hei )
leach?" The Gownsman would respcctfullv
suggest that "Have jou seen him cut?"
might be a pertinent question as fo n teacher
about to be taken into a frugal boarding
school; and that a better question than "Is
she a good disciplinarian?" might be, "Haw
jou seen her spank?"
THK piofessioual maker of questionnaiies
is the most deadly of the species, for
having nothing better to do, he thiuks others
equally unemployed, ami he adds to the im
pertinence of his questions the irrelevancy of
his statistical results. He is apt to ask you
what proportion of your class is uupunctual,
or left-handed, or gray-eyed, or pigeon
toed, and he formulates great things on the
premises. Sometimes he insinuates, "Do jou
inerelv teach your students to write I.ntin
fluently or do you impart to them (here
lead parenthetically "as T do") a speaking
facility in Ciccioniun diction?" We reply
that just nt present we nrc only teaching
them to write classical Latin fluently, very
fluently; but that we are looking forward
hopefully to turning out a Demosthenes or
two. probably net winter. Wherefore, the
reader may gather that the questionnaire is
conducive to that species of comity in lying
wherein nobody is deceived but everybody
concerned feels much more important.
A Voice From the Past
The Piesident succeeded on this occa
sion because he acted without sense and
without constraint in n panorama that was
gotten up more for the benefit of his party
than for the glory of the nation and the
honor of the oeati. - nr iuom uvw cue
sillv remarks of the President; for the
crcillt of the notion we are willing that
the veil of oblivion shall be dropped over
them and that they shall no more be re
peated or thought of.
This is not an extract from an editorial in
the New York Sun or the New York Tribune.
Nor were the sentiments quoted above taken
from any of the public utterances of Senator
Poindexter or Senator Sherman or Senator
McCormiek. They are from an editorial that
was printed In the Harrisburg Patriot and
Union on November 24, 1SC3, and hove, no
reference to Woodrow Wilson.
The President iu question was Abraham
Lincoln. Tho "silly remarks" were tbo
Gettysburg speech. New York World.
Oue Interesting fact which tho World fails
to mention is that the Harrisburg Patriot
and Union was a Democratic anti-war organ
of the most Virulent type.
In the midst of wonders it is difficult
to assess values. An effective way to ap
preciate tho marvclouBncss of the trans,
ntlantlc "bon" is to remember how imnos.
sible such 0j iblng seemed when Wj6r 1
-"?'.ftir ..;1';
5:. . S.C- '.t-. t . ,v
' . it : lit V . ... ,: .
i s.' ' i'ii. . , 'ill. ! i .' It
f
w: A.,v ;
, tV !. : V. -Pfc'Sl'i. "si
- skV-Vt
V5.
"-"a- -.' 5,. 1 . I -
V1 ".SVB. VV"-"
L .-w v V
-4 :-. ".
f. ST-tJ'"
It f Te-r "T& sAeit
','3&-TOailv?lc
O-Br- -- .::-0. &&ritZ&tiHx& Kvvtf -tr.' X3efgS-v . '-ra-lrT.
. - w K-a. .1- i liMM-'tTVtVWiJTi . nUTi ? -MitJO--. " ir. a. r
-3- - -.:j:-,. &$$S sMrf J'' vllk &&?? --,
V-'- - r. ,v - "J "Wtoakrn , rrMS.. r-. ,
vSi' Wr ! vin wwCTs -.--fe
1 F -LtrErfLUUT a7 "- i i.- 1SBT, - -- aa ;. i-ii n .-) ILnaVi - - 1irjtfVf, JTsa-rmi LIS ! Ml ' TL.m.W';k,aaaaaB
THE CHAFFING DISH
rpllGRIO were no skip-stops in Philadcl--L
tibia's welcome to the Iron Division.
Ihirlj this morning the weather man's
morale was said to he crumbling under the
strain. AVe hope for his own sake that he
will bo able to hold out. The cilj is in a
desperate mood and will not allow its holi
day to be trilled with.
I'.ven William Peiin on the City Hull is
said to have turned his head when he heard
them coming up Broad street behind him.
General Demure!
General Muir says the parade is to be con
tinued on stiictly military lines and ladies
must not try to kiss the soldiers as they
go by.
But suiely the privilege of being bussed is
one of the most cherished of strictly military
piivilcgcs.
.lust. for oue day nobody really cared about
what's happening nt Versailles, or whether
the seaplanes bopped off from Trepasscy, or
how badly Ilrockdorff feels about the treaty.
One of the curious phenomena to be ob
served this morning was the number of
people who entered restaurants along the line
of march about S::!0 o'clock and ordered
bicakfast. luncheon ami dinner to be served
by the window, all three meals to be deliv
ered consecutively. "And sec here, George;
I want my eggs boiled ninety minutes, nud
don't be iu too much of n hurry about it."
i, .
Happy were those who had forethought
enough to provide themselves vvilh il home
made periscope.
Most of what they call grand stands are
really grand sits. The greatest grand stand
of nil is the pavement.
The Whirligig of Time
Nothing is so ironical as the calendar.
Forty -eight years ago today the Germans iu
Philadelphia were celebrating the triumphant
founding of the German empire by a huge
parade. In the Public Ledger Almanac for
1S72 we. find the following item in the "Phii
ndelphiu Chronology for 1871":
"May 15 German peace celebration ; pro
cession nine miles long, nnd included repre
sentatives of various trades and occupations
in line. Numerous buildings were hnnd
somely decorated with flags."
But n parade of the rhiladelphiaus who
have t hanged their minds about Germany
since 1871 would now make a procession at
least ninety miles long.
Tomorrow morning will be a rich harvest
for the shoe-shining contingent.
Fred EckersburgJ the Independence Hall
engineer, put Martha Washington, the State
House black cat, through a special grooming
this morning. Nicely combed and with a
tricolor ribbon, Martha watched the parade
from a niche tinder tho reviewing stand. In
terviewed by our representative, Martha said
she had never seen so many feet m her life.
She was much impressed by the dpg mascots.
Wo predict a considerably overiubscrlbcd
quota on home-hound trolleys this afternoon
and evening.
All the trolleys crossing the line of march
were diverted from their usual routes during
tho parade, and one excitement was to boird
a cor and wonder just where it was going.
For one clay, r-a least, the proud and shiny
new straw hat yielded precedence to "the,
oversells cap and the steel helmet.
Compenmtion is swift and sweet, Qnly
last week wo were laying down our Iron,
men for the Victory Ijoan, And here they
arc marching back again as urge as njc.
'.t -
"OUR' OWN, GOD BLESS 'EM!"
dr fib, m''5 .r-a
ivm, .jauw itn ?,: "ajv 'S .,'- .. -jfUfx" -jt
tfmm?m rtw: -aftsMr w .
... ":fc-i'-iSJthTttgaajaaTaVaJHrfrVav
in... i. t ' t. . . i - i-ii-r-i :i. r- ai fr.raTT gnr airani
jv' 1.V - "ViTjKfflStSEafaWlSnWS! t ''.-' .'" a
n . -,:.-thiHm;aeSyiaaSfiFr'.in3 Erf .PHi'S-a,?r-fi'aJti';"' -F1lir.B5c' ,3-lrL?aj!J5-arlMaSB.
, . .- . 1 1 ,.ua..-s- iftr-msii.R.- si..r.ii.iin-.L.f.ir.irrfHU'jrcnwuwns;. j.i!Mn.ii..ustf:ui,-a's-nx..-ra!cr:
:, v&jamEgsmm&mimmr. ?m, MmsBssmmsm.
who could get to a bank through the crowds?
Never mind, they're just as good tomorrow.
A number of our clients have called us up
to ask whether The Chatting Dish has made
any preparations to give first aid to Dish
contributor who swoon iu the crowds today.
If nny of our patrons are overcome in this
manner we tan "give them a few unanswered
letters to fan themselves with. That is the
best we can do.
Philadelphia capitulated gladly to i(s army
of occupation.
Chestnut sticet, arrayed iu summer
dresses, properly lived up to its waitiine title
s our own Chcmin ties Dames.
The Voice That's a-Calllng to Me
There's a place that is bathed in the mista
of the past ;
know not its name, be it land, be il sea;
There's n faint reminiscence that's fleeting
and fast
Yet its voice is a-callinfff a-calling lo tne.
In a distant recess of the lime that is gone
There's a place that is strange, be it land,
le it sea;
Mem'ry serves me no longer it leaps like a
fawn
Yet its voice is a-calling, a-calling to me!
There's a spot far .away from the laud of
my birth ;
I know not its name, be it land, be it sea;
Yet I'm ready to go to the ends of the earth
Just to answer the voice that's a-calling
lo me.
There's a place which, to find, I for seasons
may roam;
T know not its name, be it land, be it sea:
A planet, a star, or a cloud ; but my HOMK
I shall find where that voice is a-calling
to me.
ROBERT TjESfdE BELLES
Wonder what the German life insurance
companies with whom the kaiser holds poli
cies are thinking about?
After considering the case of the kaiser
and the crown prince, no ono will be in
clined to dispute that'hcrcdUy does count for
something.
What's New York going to do about tho
Bronx after July 1? That borough's only
claim to fame gone, vanished, evaporated !
After reading the terms of the peace,
treaty tho chief occupation of German states
men seems to be, in the immortal words of
"Alice in Wonderland," "reeling and writhi
ing and fainting in coils."
Desk Mottoes
Nothing so needs reforming as other peo
ple's habits. MARK TWAIN.
Special Feature Tomorrow
A notable dispatch from Lieutenant Wil
liam McFee, our special "correspondent
abroad. Order your Dish early,
SOCRATES.
No one was ashamed of the tears that
camn unbidden to his eyes as he watched the
soldiers march by.
Independence Hall, all dolled tin for (he
welcome, looked as gay as a slitcen-.ear-
old. - , '
The Grand Army veterans have not for
gotten how the boys la line feel today. They
have been there themselves.
The trouble with many of the presiden
tial balloons sent up into the air is that they
are not dirigible.
.-.,,. It U.-ivat.so. wuch A'bulde itself " .
sX&
Keystone Dialogue
AVE
Dow were jou ever so clever in doing it?
How did jou hurtle them through' the
Argonne?
Hon did jou rush and so crush 'cm that
rueing il
Is what the Heinies MI never be done?
How did jou thrive in that hive of artillery,
Popping from "slcllungs" from Rhcims
to Sedan?
How did jou run cv'ry Hun to his pillory
Squarely according to Justice's plan?
IIow did you (ling cv'ry ring of pomposity.
Baffled nnd crestfallen back toward the
Rhine?
How was your trick grimly slick with
jocosity?
How were you ever so wondrously fine?
THEY
Seeing we'll take it and stake it's believing.
Why have jou mulled over books of cam
paign? Even the best arc all dressed with deceiving,
Ponderous answers to what is so plain.
AVhy did you jog iu a bog of obscurity?
Why did jou fiddle with figures and maps?
AA'hy should n lingering finger give surety,
Tiacing the sweep to the Mcusc of us
chaps?
If you would know why our "go" had
vivacity
Banish all bombast's inadequate aid.
Find in the starch of our march the
veracity.
. Tasto of the truth in the way we parade!
II. T. O.
What Do You Know?
i QUIZ
1L AYho is chancellor of Germany?
2. Name two American Presidents who
virtually named their successors?
3. How many farthings make a penny?
4. AA'bat are the colors of the flag of Por
tugal?
fi. AVhat is the origin of the line "Win
maketh glad the heart of man"?
0. AYhat Is a ranee?
7. Who was the Roman goddess of fruits?
8. In what novel of Dickens docs the pom
pous character of Uncle Pumblcchook
occur?
0. When did hostilities between the Entente
and Turkey terminate?
10. What is Jhc meaning of "malice pre
pense"? -
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
1. The first Monday in December is fixed
by 'the 'constitution for the opening of"
the regular session of Congress.
2. A sabbatical year is every seventh" year
allowed for rest, travel, research, etc.,
to professors in some colleges.
3. "God tempers the wind to the shorn
lamb," was .written by Laurence
Sterne, in the "Sentimental Journey."
). A dcodan or deodand is a thing forfeited
to -the English Crown to bo used in
alms, etc., us having caused a human
death.
5. Kansas City is tbo lurgest city in Kan
sas'. 0. Tho "Maachc" is the French nrfme for
the English channel lying between
France and Britain. .
7. Napoleon Bonaparte was known as the
"Man of Destiny."
8. Tho Latin phrase "nil desperandum"
means never give up In despair. It
is also used in" the sense of "never
say die."
0. For every cubic foot of nn icrberg above
water, there inuet bo nt Icast'.elght
' enpUf&.jt bfllawhs. surface.
tl
J
M
.a
1
3
T 'J
&' "Ui
tfc&iti.. ' . . i,JMm&u . . 1, , -J.ikMMlMM. iJLa