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EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 1919
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Euening JJublic ffie&cjec
THE EVENING"TELEGRAPH
PUDLIC LEDCER COMPANY
CTnt'fl It. K. Ct'IlTIS. PataiMsx
Cnarlre It. I.u.llnaton, vlre Prealilniti Jnhn C.
Itastln. Secretary and Tr'Ourrri 1'hlllpS. L'olllni,
John n. Wllllama, John J. Cfurifon, Dlrrctora,
HDtTOniAt. nOAttD!
Cum It. K. Cmtii, Chairman
DAVID K. 8MIt.Br Editor
JOHN C. MAHTIN. ..General nualneia Manager
Publlali-il dally at PiMIC t.Klxira tlulldlni,
linlrrerilMice Square. Philadelphia.
ATI.1 NTIC ClTt Vrrtf Union PulMIng
Naw Vnns 2VQ Metropolitan Tower
DiTaiUT 4n.1 Konl llull.llni
ht. Iuu lout KuiItiaii ItutMlne
Cllicinn ftlitz Trl'miw llulldlnu
Nnw8 itrriRAt'tt:
WaaiiiNOTnN lliaair,
N K. Cor. rrnnflvanla Aw, and lilh SI.
New Voaic UiarAi The Sun riulldlna-
Lonpu.s IILar.L' London limtt
scnscnirTio.v tiuims
The Kirmmj I'litlic I.eihii.ii la eer-'l to autf
aerll-era In 1'hlln.letphla and aurrnvjridlntf towln
St the rate of twthc tll'l centa iur week. pauble
to the carrier.
lly mull lo pnlnts outxl.le nf rhllnlelphla. In
the t'tiiteil SUtea, Canidn. or UiiIImI Hltilca pea
ataalim. ikijiiik.. free, fitly (.'01 tenta p-r month.
Bli (lit) doilara per ear. ra)alle In ndnnce.
To alt fnrelcn cuutilrl-s one lit I dollar per
month.
Niitics Subieriliera wishing mMr-aa chanced
Biuil glvt old aa well aa new addreea.
tlFLL. 3000 WALNIT MVl-TOM.. MAIN Jnoo
0 Atitirtts nil cominimlcfltiosa lo r'l enlittf f-uMie
J.ttlotr, inif'rriiffritrc Squmr. Philadelphia,
Member of the Associated l'reti
Tlln ASSOVIATV.lt J'f.V'V.' Is rxrlu
tlvelu entitled to the use lor trpuMfcadou
o all netcs illspittrhes credited to It or nof
othcurlir credited In this pnver, nml nlso
the local ricic.e jiifM's'iril therein.
All itphts nt renuhllenlion of tpccinl efl
patches herein me aim reserved.
i i..i.iri'ini4, "niniiii). til. int.. :.. I9H
OVERPLAYING THE HE!)
QOMEWHI-'Ri: or other the nmnteur
Bolshevists of America must hnvo n
press nuent who would le worth hl
weight In koUI to n rlrruit. A hnnilful of
Irrational linulern-mit of clvllizntinn who
make a IIWhk ti talk cet Into the news
Jiaper.s eer day and are cen advertised
widely by the Senate of the I'nlted St.iteK.
Sleanwhlte the thlifs that Poncretsmen
call ii menace l.s collapsing dlmnlly even
In Jluxsla. I.enlnc, havlnt; a mind actually
trained In economics, l heRlnK the nsnlat.
nee of the men he professed t hate. Only
the persistent e of Trotsk, the howllni;
dervish of unrest, keeps Itolshevlsm on Its
wedkenliiK less In Ilussla.
It Is a hit stranRe, therefore, to reafl of
Judfto J. Willis Martin's announcement of
a vast force of "secret police" sleeplnc on
their arms somen here In Philadelphia and
waiting for an outbreak of some sort.
The home Ktiards nre fairly efficient In a
pinch and the navy yatd iMi't far uway.
If the city police do not or cannot deal
with petty hlKhnaymen and occasional
agitators, they can net help that Isn't or
ganized in secret.
GERMANY STILL LOSING
"pnEMIint KISXKIt, of Bavnrla. will be
remembered In the future as one of the
saddest and most dramatic rasunltles of
the war. The bullet that killed him jea
terday silenced n voice that was orylnj;
out bravely through the wilderness of 1r
norance, vanity and discontent that Is the
Germany pt today. It was a voice that
passionately derided all those in the pros
trated country who mutter and complain
and threaten nnd boast In these crucial
hours and seem unable to meet the Iron
responsibilities which He so heavily upon
the nutlon. It called to all that was best
In the Oermnn character nnd demanded
tnat the people admit their slna and the
sins of the leaders whom they used to
applaud,
Germany needed a man like Eisner be
cause It Is the soul of the nation that Is
sick and thut can be cured only by truths
which few are brave enough to utter. It
was not surprising that the u!tra-tor!es
whom the Bavarian hatrcl ar.d fought
should resort at last to the detestable
method of gutter assassins. There cannot
be room In one country for a spirit such
as Eisner had and the philosophy that
ruined Germany.
In France alt the organs of an enlight
ened liberalism are admitting bitterly that
tho man who shot nt Clemenceau struck
a terrific blow at tho fundamental causes
of the plain people by an act of conscience
less cruelty, which will be wrongly Inter
preted as a political stroke Inspired by
organized liberals. In Germany, by the
samo rule of reasoning, the peoplo should
M-l-ituirn t new imirru lor ine imperillisii
reactionaries who killed Eisner. For the'
Germans have lost one of their best
friends with the death of a man who waa
trying to free the national consciousness
from the curse put upon It by thirty years
of perverted education. Eisner's appeal
vaa to the older Germany of Imagination
and tenderness that vanished under the
Influence of I'rUBslanlsm. He. believed that
It still lived beneath the surface.
THE TERSENESS OF TROLLEYS
TpNIGMATIC trolley service seems to
" have become a hublt. When the lnllu
nza epidemic was at Its height objection
to the removal of the route guides to make
Way for placarded medical advice In the
cars might perhnps have been unreason
able. The lesser good had to make way
for the greater. Then came the skip-stop
campaign, In which the transit company
wa so eager to Justify Itself that It neg.
lected to dispense other Information. Com
pliments to cautious "kiddles" are now
prominently posted.
The tribute and its accompanying warn
ag are unlmpeachably wholesome, but
they help not ut all the Justified passenger
who humbly seeks to know where his car
ts going. The route synopsis was an ex
cellent Idea, compensating to some extent
for the extreme terseness of tho outside
Igns. A mere number anil the awesome
word "Wolf" or even the delectable word
"Strawberry" are not of muchjistarlee
to the trolley patron unvere(fcll the
intricacies of tb transit systenvKi.
The route keys should be restored? If
the company wants to sermonize It should
be able to find space In Its cars without
shrouding In mystery the way of the pU
rrimag, A WISE AMERICAN
k
TttB spontaneous demonstrations of
esteem and admiration that attended
Cardinal Qtbbons's Jubilee celebration In
Washington Included men and women of
gill oreeds'and dispositions. The tribute
jTM -f n1 humane man.
VMM Mfsjsssntlsl '"truths that nevsr
ssasiff JSULAm sst Ufa saV amli that
stay flxctj nnd Immovable In nil tides nnd
through all time. Minds ruled by n con
sciousness of these essentlnls of philosophy
are proof ngalnst panic nnd fear and
bigotry and hatred and nil the transient
passions that degrade nnd confuse exist
ence for many of us. Such minds nre truly
educated. Cardinal Gibbons Is nn eduentcd
man. He Is able to see tho world as n
place In which there Is room for everybody
nnd happiness for nil who know how to
seek It. Wise men are rharllntile and
patient. They hate nothing nnd love much.
And Cardinal Gibbons Is one of the wise
Americans.
COCKED HAT AND KNEE
BKKECHES OUT OF STYLE
Rut the Mnnlincs. nf Wiiahlngion, Which
The) Clothed, Descries Rejpert anil
Emulation Tntluy
II- Till-: spirits of tin' dead could revisit
the glimpses of the union George Wash
ington would rise fiom his gravi- and
rebuke thino who are trying to obstruct
the progress of the win Id In his name.
It Is tilting that on this one. hundred nnd
t-lght.N -seventh minlwrsnry of his birth we
should consider the pi Inclples which he
laid down In the light of the knowledge wv
hive of the conditions prevailing at the
time.
Tho nation was young. It was Isolated
from the Old World by three thousand
miles of ocean. ntil,ileiit now to twenty
five thousand miles. Communication was
slow and dltllcult. America was democratic
and Europe, with the exception nf the
newly awnki-ned Frame, wns monarchical
and hostile to tile experiment begun here.
Vet there were main Americans who
vanted to go to the assistance of France
out of gratitude for wlint France had done,
and there were man other American who
in spite of tin- war with England, were
nnlous to Join themselves nnd their coun
try with the Hritlsh.
Washington realized that If the new
nation was to establish Itself It must keep
as far away as possible from entangle
ments with Europe. Consequently, ho
urged his countrymen In his famous Fan
well Address to avoid permanent alliances
with any power. "Taking care always to
keep ourselves, by suitable establishments,
on a respectable defensive posture," he
went on, "we may safely trust to tempo
rary alliances for extraordinary emergen
cies." The point for us to note today Is
that Washington was statesman enough
to perceive that It was Impossible for .my
nation, ex en one mi Isolated as the 1'nlteil
.States, to exist In permanent Isolation
from the rest of the world.
Washington understood also that no man
could tell whether the experiment which
he and his fellow countrymen had begun
would ultimately succeed. "Is there
doubt." said he, "whether a common gov
ernment can embrace so large a sphere?
I.et experience solve It. To listen to mere
speculation In such a case were criminal."
So he pleaded for support of the Constitu
tion nnd patient loyalty to It in the confl?
dent hope that patriotic men with a com
mon purpose would succeed In establishing
a free government over n Inrge territory.
Men were as critical of the Constitution
then as the are now of the draft of the
charter for a league of nations. Although
tho Constitution had been adopted, they
were afraid It would not work. The dif
ferent states resented the Invasion of their
sovereignty. They questioned tho suprem
acy of Congress and the power of tho
Supreme Court to Invalidate acta of the
State Legislatures. Hut John Marshall
came along and by a series of decisions
mnde a nation out of what had been a con
geries of Jealous states, He succeeded
because ultimately the minds of men of all
parties came together on the great ques
tion involved. Washington met the issues
of hfc time and solved them in the light of
the conditions which then prevailed, Just as
he would meet the Issues of today In the
light of the changed world conditions. He
laid down policies based on the principle ot
fair play and Justice to all. The principles
are eternal, hut the policies chance with tho
progress, of the world toward complete
civilization.
The successors of Washington, who had
known him personally and had read his
Farewell Address with approval when It
was made public on September 19, 1791,
were not afraid to meet the new Issues
which arose. For example, vvlun Canning
sought our co-operation to prevent the
Holy Alliance from carrjlng out Its pur
poso to suppress free government In South
America. President Monroe asked the
advice of both Thomas Jefferson and James
MadUon, who had preceded him In the presi
dency. Jefferson, whose dictum against
"entangling alliances" is being quoted
nowadays ad nauseam, heartily Indorsed the
plan to make nn agreement with England.
It would effect a division In the body of
European powers and It would prevent
Instead of provoking wars. "With Great
Britain withdrawn from their scale nnd
shifted Into that of our two continents," ho
wrote to Monroe, "nil Europe combined
would not undertake such a war (that Is, a
war against the Spanish-American repub
lics), for how could they propose to get nt
either enemy without superior fleets?" And
Madison agreed with Jefferson In Indorsing
tho Tlrltlsh proposal for Joint action for tho
protection of Spanish America, but he sug
gested that they should also agree to
oppose the Invnslon of Spain and any Inter
ference with the efforts of the Greeks to
free themselves from Turkej. Thus within
less than thirty years after Washington
spoke Jefferson favored a league of nations
for tho protection of the American conti
nents and Madison favored such a league
for the protection of free governments
everywhere! "VTonroo agreed with these
advisers.
And yet we are hearing the sayings of
these men quoted now In Justification for
opposition to an American program for an
International league to protect tho peace of
the world.
Jefferson, Madison and Monroe were
ready to make an atlance In response to a
proposition from Europe. The proposition
for the league of nations originated in
America, We have asked Europe to Join
with us in a compact Intended to combine
the moral force of the civilized world
against war and, If need he, the military
power of the nations to compel u. selfish nnd
rebellious power to abandon its policy of
greed. And tho representatives of the great
nations have agreed unanimously to the
American program.
America tody is Ttot the feeble power It
van to Ue tm M WMWwrton er ip the
time of Monroe. It Is the richest and
strongest nation In the world. It Is no
longer Isolated, geographically or commer
cially or socially. And It could not be If It
would. Europe Is nearer to It than Mexico
was) In the days of Washington. It l no
farther In time from London to New York
than It used to m from rhllndolphla to
Hoston. There ran lie no war In the futtiro
which will not afTerl us,
The only question before America Is
whether It will rourngeoiisly shoulder Its
responsibilities ns a member of the family
of nations or whether It will Ignomlnlously
shirk them. Washington would not have
ndvled shirking them. He would have
confronted the Issues of the present with
the same wisdom that ho displayed in
solving the problems of his own generation.
The glory of the past, as Clemenceau
said the other day, Is a Justification for the
living only If the sons of great ancestors
are of a stature to equal that of their
fathers.
What we must study today Is the groat
purpose nf the mm Washington and not
the cocked lint and kneo breeches which
he wore; the principles that he Interpreted
anil not the siierlllc policies to meet tempo
rary ronilifliuis thut he advocated. Most
of us, thank God, are big enough to do
this.
THE UNCHANGING CODE
"AriLITAlMSM n America, for war or for
' extensive "preparedness," will not be
hetpeil to popularity by the disclosures
which Itrlgadler General Samuel T. Ansel!
has made through Representative Itarnett
In connection with the prellmlnarj moves
of a rongresslonal Inquiry relative to the
processes of army courts in the war period.
General Anell, as n member of the Judge
advocate's department, risked court-martial
and was himself gngged because he Inter
vened to save four enlisted men from the
death pen.iltj ami made objections which
later were upheld by the Secretary of War
and the President. Provost Marshal Gen
eral Crowder Ik now facing the necessity
for extensive explanations In relation to
the hnrshntss of the method followed In
punishing soldiers. Genernl Ansell's charges
Involve his administration directly. There
are promises of a mild scandal when the
public finally team of the excessive penal
ties Inflicted even at the training camps.
It Is probable that a great many enlisted
men who have been sentenced to thirty
ears or a life In prison will receive new
trials, since they were often no more seri
ously accused than soldiers who, when
they went abroad, were punished with
light fines and short periods under guard.
In the final analysis, however. It Is the
military- code nnd not the men who admin
lster It which Is chiefly to he blamed. Every
army In the world Is held together nnd
mnde etllcient b a system of regulations
that have not changed In hundreds of
j ears. When an army Is established It
rules its members by laws that are vastly
different from those with which the aver
age civilian has been familiar. Military
courts cannot afford to be merciful or even
meticulous. A whole army may have to
depend In nn emergency upon the fidelity
of ono man. So armies live by a rule of
Iton. Each soldier, no matter what his
rank may be. Is subject to the will of his
superior. Punishment Is harsh nnd swift.
When a military court errs It prefers to
err on the side of safety. It Is concerned
with the safety nf the army and not with
the safety of the Individual.
Evidence Is accumulating to show that
the military code, administered often by
new and Inexperienced officers nt the train
ing camps, was made unnecessarily harsh.
There will have to be a lot of reviewing
In the army courts after peace Is signed.
Hut Genernl Ansell's charges against the
Judge advocate's department nre the most
berlous so far madu anywhere in the
American rr.iiita.ry estiblishrr.er.t. Soldiers
sentenced to'dcath have a right to have
their cases reviewed by the President and
the Secretary of War. General Ansell
charges that General Crowder nnd his asso
ciates made such an appeal Impossible and
disciplined him when, after trying every
other method, he carried the matter Indl
rectly to Mr. Wilson and Secretary Baker.
Thern should, and
Vnrmers lluvo there probably wU be,
Muny Yiitri nn uproar from the
country If tho Sunate
Agriculture CommltUe can find support In
In iffort for the repeal of the daylight
saving law. In all Industrial communities
d.i light saving brought comfort to Innum
erahlu millions during the warm weather
period. Fanners complain that the rule In
terfered with their schedule of work and the
Agriculture Committee Is willing to act upon
their suggestion for n rexil.
f -
Proftssor Roman, of
The New eat Antl .Srucuse I'nlverslty,
one j of the ardent
lenders of a new- anti-tobacco movement,
leaps to the spotlight to warn the nutlon that
his movement Isn't to be taken "with levity,"
He Is unduly alarmed. That movement will
be met with an even mixture of pity nnd
di-rlslon.
It the work at Hog
Ho It Henna Island Isn't hurried
along Bhlps of the sort
they nre building down there now win be
obsolete and the wnjs will have to be
changed for the construction and launching
of Zeppelins.
The great man-dale Fibruary
Tho President has a habit ofi using
telling words, nnd that's JubI what makes
Senator Sherman so angry.
I.Ike all iiersons who come, here from
nlirouil, Mr. Wilson will soon be telling us
what ho thinks of America,
"Of nil the kings In Europe," boasts
Alfonso of Spain, "I am the latest creation,"
Really up-to-date rulers, however, are not
wearing crowns this season.
The man that shot Premier Clemenceau
can take small delight In the reflection
that tigers are In the habit of "couching"
before a new spring.
Time was when a true Westerner con
demned ns unfit "to be trusted over night"
would have exploded picturesquely. "Mis
leading." twitters Mr. Borah. Is he really
from the great state of Idaho?
, . vjj
A new Gibbon Is hardly needed to devote
another eight volumes to the latest decline
and full exemplified In the situation
created by Mr. Wilson's senatorial 4aar
CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S
LETTER
Wt'strrn Interests in Philadelphia.
What the. Bankers Should Dm-
cuss Lcit'M E, Bcitler on
Ex'Secretaries
Washington, Feb. 22.
rpiIE white roso of York nnd the red rose
of Lancaster differ In this, thnt Con
gressman Orlest, of Lancaster, stays per
manently In place nt Washington, while
the whjte rose of York chnnges Its Ilepre
Kentntlve In nlmnst every Congress. Bank
ing Commissioner Dnnlel F, Lnfenn, who
wont nut with the Brumbaugh administra
tion nnd who likes Washington ns much
as ho docs Harrlsburg, If not better, was
tho first Itcpuhllcnn to take the York
Adams dlsttict away from the Democrat.
In many years. He yielded to his former
successful opponent, Andrew It. Brodbcck,
of Hanover, a Democrat, who now gives
up to Edward S. Brooks, a Republican.
Lnfenn was down looking over tho situa
tion lost week. He learned that Brooks
had been here nnd was already making a
hit.
TF WE only knew how many people nre
Interested In Philadelphia and Phllndel
phlnns we would be prouder of our city.
Ramifications of Its Influence nre so ex
tensive ns to nfford us a pleasant Introduc
tion to nil corners of the earth. How many
people In Philadelphia 'know Ira Copley,
nn Illinois Congressman, who tins grown
rich In the gas business? Yet he has very
close connections In Philadelphia. John C,
I.owry, vice president of the American Gas
Company, and one of the stantibus nt tho
Union League, Is one of them. So Is Mor
ris W. Stroud. William U. McKlnloy, of
Illinois, sometimes spoken of as a candi
date for Senator to succeed Larry Sher
man, Is another westerner who stops over
at Philadelphia occasionally for personal
nnd financial reasons. McKlnley wns the
congressional manager of the Taft cam
paign of 1912. He has large traction In
terests In the West.
SEVERAL questions nre agitating Phila
delphia bankers Just now, and It might
be well for the Philadelphia Chapter to dis
cuss them n little more fully. One relates'
to the restriction of Immigration, which
some bankers contend should be encour
nged to check Bolshevism: another Is the
Increase of loans nnd Interest rates thereon,
nnd still another Is the Investigation pro
posed by Congressman McFudden, concern
ing the activities of Comptroller of the
Currency John Skelton Williams. Tho
Comptroller never was very popular with
the bunkers, but he has n reputation of
being a fighter, and Congressman McFad
den will probably need help to put his reso
lutlon through. Material here for Austin
W. Davis, of tho First National; Anthony
G. Felix, ot the Peoples, nnd Howard E.
Deity, of the Tradesmen's.
rpHE little party nt the Manufacturers'
Club which Is led In thought nnd spirit
by Benjamin P. Obdyke is partlnlly broken
up by tho departure for Chile of J, R.
Brunei. Jr., and Dr. Emlllo M. Barrelro,
who recently touched Washington for pass
ports. Mr. Brunei, who has large interests
In Chile and South America, has purchased
a costly home at Merlon, to which he ex.
pects to return In May. Meanwhile Brother
Obdyke has the consolation of knowing
that his grandson, who recently became a
midshipman at Annapolis, Is making good.
TT WILL be interesting to Johr. W. Liber-
ton. of the Atlantic Refining Company;
E. W. Drinker, of the Lehigh Navigation
Company, and O. C. Purdy, of Wilmington,
who have Interested themselves In the
merchant marine service, to know thnt the
Emergency Fleet Corporation now has In
hand no fewer than 10,000 applications for
tho position of supercargo and that they
come from all parts of the United States.
This Information will nlso be Informing
to that group of young men who were
engaged In Emercency Fleet Corporation
work during the war who desire to be con
tinued In the service.
Tll. EDWARD MacI.VALL, who Is at-L-'
tached to City Solicitor John P. Con
nelly's force, has been digging into the
nrchlves of the Pennsylvania Historical
Society But the doctor nnd his good
wife do not overlook the movements nf
public men, and dispatches from Washing
ton seem to contribute to their mental re
freshment. For one thing, the doctor
likes the Evckino Punuc Lkdoch letters,
which, he tells us, flt In delightfully with
research work.
TTEUK Is what Lewis E. Beltler says
LJ- about the proposed society of ex.,
secretaries; "I was first Mayor Filler's
private secretary, 1887-1891; then Mayor
Stuart's, 1R91-1R5; then Governor Has
tings's, 1885-1S39. Edgar C. Gerwlg, of
Pittsburgh, followed me as Stone's, 1809.
1303; then Bromley Whnrton, Philadelphia,
as I'ennypncker's, 1903-1907; then A. B.
Millar, Philadelphia, as Governor Stuart's,
1907.1911; then Walter S, Gaither. Pitta J
burgh, as Tener's, 1911-1915, and then Wil.
Ham H, Ball, Philadelphia, as Brumbaugh's,
1915-1919, I followed Humphrey Tate, of
Bedford (now deceased) as Governor Pat
tlson's private secretary, 1891-1895, and
he, George Pearson, Pittsburgh, as Gov
ernor Beaver's, 1887.1891, so you see wit
'Ex's' now come In at least half-dozen
lots, assorted."
TWTAGIBTRATE JOHN MECLEARY and
' the boys of tho Vesta Club have reason
to rejoice over the home-coming of Colonel
Horatio B. Hackett, of Kensington, who
was shot up In France. Since the days
when "rtash" Hackett, the "little drummer
boy" ot the Civil War, was Republican
ruler of the Thlrty-flrsi Ward, they have
been watching the progress of the Junior
Hackett with neighborly Intertit and pride.
They kept track of him on his Journey
through West Point, and when he went to
France they knew he would give a good
account of himself, and he did. The one
regret they I ave Is that th doughty little
leader ,who waa elected Iteglster of Wills
on "the drummtr br" Issue did not live to
f,wnw mo prows sn onprtn(r.
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THE CHAFFING DISH
Inside Stuff
"How- nice It must be to sit down In a
quiet office and have nothing to do but
write simple little poems." A Friend of
Ours.
THE building hums nnd trembles
With the dull roar and boom of the
presses
Tearing off the Sports Extra.
In one corner of our cavern
An eddying whirl of tobacco smoke
Surrounds the leader-writer who Is clasp
ing George Washington to his bosom,
As leader-writers must do once a year.
In the next room an editor is shouting
"The best thing that could happen to the
league of nations
Will be to have Borah
Stump against it!"
And while ho says this, a colleague is en
treating him
To supply some more "ears"
(You know them, those Jolly littlo squibs
With Indented blackface heads,
That run In tho third column).
And nnother Is brooding mournfully over
his typewriter.
Bleeding his brains away
Over a Jocular paragraph.
OUTSIDE, In the Local Room, half a
dozen reporters
Are clashing away on local storleo.
Two more are rushing to the phone booths
With handfuls of copy paper
To take down something big coming In
from the districts.
Tho smoke from Innumerable pipes swirls
and sifts,
The floor is nnkle-deep In papers,
Two young ladles, seated near" the clear
green water-fountain,
Are busy about something the details of
which
We are too bashful to Inquire,
And the dramatic critic
With a cup of coffee and n pot of paste In
front of him
Is spearing the adjectives out of press
agents' flimsies.
BACK In the telegraph room Is tho con
stant chatter
Of the Instruments, wireless stuff coming
In from Paris
At twenty cents a word.
And Old Bill, the veteran operator, Is
grunting to himself
Because he can't get n clean wire
From St. Paul to Worcester,
And It is raining,
And that "takes the stuff off tho wire,"
And some boob keeps breaking In on him.
The more delicate clucking of the stock
tickers
Reels the slender tapes of cryptogram un
heeded on the floor.
AT THE news desk a man with a corncob
Is shirt-tailing Kurt Eisner's obit.
In other words explaining who Eisner waa
when he was somebody,
And the, Rewrite Man, of whom It Is said
"He could do the Fall of Man In a stick,"
(I. e In two Inches of type)
Is weaving Into an Intelligible story
Something that has been gathered over
the phone.
THE Assistant City Editor, seated before
his enormous Assignment Book,
Is checking off his list of Items covered
during the day,
Politics, City Hall, Federal Buildings,
Shipping, KarlyP Duty, Lau FeUea
Duty. i ' . k. "
TODAY
'.
, -,"
'":-d.,
Hotels and Clubs, Weather, Society, Finan
cial and U. of P.,
And mennwhllo shouting up tho speaking
tube
To the make-up man
"Thnt Number 8 on tho price-of-mllk story
Will have a. new lend It tho Final,"
"OHILIP GIBBS once wroto a novel
About the newspaper business In
London ,
Called "Tho Street of Adventure"
(That street being Fleet street).
In which he described young men and lady
reporters
Taking tea and muffins together
In tho Reporters' Room,
By a nice open Are. '
He goes or. to tell ia the story
(Which you ought to read)
That the newspaper failed.
Oh boy, they don't sip tea In the Local
Room
Of nn American afternoon paper,
At least not In Philadelphia.
''VVER In the far corner
A man with a whimsical luce
Is putting a new caption
On a photograph, some mistake
Having slipped In In tho early editions.
And tho Cartoonist, coming Into the sanc
tum While the-editors are feverishly
Trying to "get through,"
Shows a strange Inclination to tnlk over
the news of the day,
Hoping to snare some elusive Idea.
It is In the welter of this strnnge, delight
ful confusion,
O friend of ours.
That these "simple little poems" are
written.
Dahy Poems
Wo nre exceedingly sensible of the honor
conferred upon us by those who send us
photographs of babies, asking us to write
poems nbout them.
The rules of the American Federation of
Sentimental Songsters are very strict on
this matter. Union laws forbid our', doing
this gratis, though ot course we would be
happy to oblige.
Our rate card Is aa follows:
Male babies, under one year,, poems. S5
per pound.
Female babies, under one year, poems 10
per pound.
Male babies, over ono year, $20 per
pound.
Female babies, over ono year, $30 per
pound.
Young women, over sixteen, If brunette,
poems Ave cents per pound.
These weights refer not to the weight of
the poem, but the weight of the baby.
Please Inclose stamps for return of
photos of the babies, otherwise we shall
keep them and display them as pictures of
our own offspring. SOCRATES.
Monday will make It the "Hubbub" of
the universe.
Milk, has come down a cent a quart,
but we have heard no report tbat restau
rants will serve It In bigger glasses.
Howard Coonley says that Philadelphia
Is certain to have three new drydocks. Ifs
hope he knows.
IOs1 bit odd to realise that when you
stop'tas raooMJfhws you'"ilifc tM Mashlne
'".I '"-
"5 ; ;. ;'
.Ti ,.-'. , ! a;,T',r
.:, v.
Yes, He Was Human!
ITIOTTT .1.1. I.a nt .a t s1ltni-a mimmnvA
XJl In thc,lr flies for the familiar materlalilj
for the annual editorial proving that Oeorgey
Washington was a human being nnd not the
austere, Impeccable prig of tradition, the
Washington of the cherry tree and 'the
"Rulea of Civility and Conduct." ,
Our own favorite evidence that Washing
ton was something more than a marble bust
lies In his own account, written, nt the age
of sixteen, of his experience With those crea
tures slnco called "cooties," during a sur
veying trip In the Shenandoah Valley. It
runs thus:
We got our supper & was Lighted lntof
a Room & I not being so good n woods
man ns ye rest of my company, striped
myrlf very orderly and went Into yo Bed,
as they called It, when to my surprise, I
found it to be nothing but a little straw
rr.atted tdgether without sheets' or any
thing else, but oftiy one thread bear"
blanket with doublo Its weight of vermin,
such as Lice, Fleas, &c. I was glad to
get up (as soon ns ye Light was carried
from us.) I put on my clothes & lay as
my companions. Had we not been very
tired, I nm suro wo would not have slep'd
much thnt night.
Wednesday, 16th. We, got out early &
flnlsh'd about ono o'clock & then travell'd
up to Frederick Town, where our Baggage
camo to us. Wo cleaned ourselves -(to get
rid of yo game we catched ye night be
fore.) I took a Review of ye Town ft, then
returned to our Lodgings, where he had a
.Nl ..-Ann. .a n. ,0 Xl'InA A VTtlOTt
KOOU iliuiirr iu-,i.nr.A v um. .. ...v - ......a
Punch in plenty, k a boou reamer
with clenn sheets, which was a very agree.
ablo regale.
What Do You Know?-
QUIZ . -
1. Who was the. man that .attempted' to
assassinate Premier Clemenceau?
o How manv farthings make a penny In
English money? . "wsJ
. .;.. ..
3. VVnat IS tne Jiumanmn iiiune iui u-
manla?
i. What Is the derivation of "cock and bull,
story'? -
B. What Is another name for leap year?
0. What Is the origin of the.' phrase, "si'
tight as Dick's hatband"?
m m. ...n. Via first nnma of Tird- Ifa. 1
r.iulav? )
a nn.. n.na TnPAh T7ll VHlinol ? " I
9, What was supposed to be the food of '
VHC Via fcvH, i
- n- .. feA nnlv Amrlrnn Pr-fflnt
u'hnfiA nn filao became President? xJ
... U
Answers to Ye.terijay's QuU '
1. The twelve slgns.of the zodlno are Aries,
the Ram; Taurus, the Bull"; Gemini,
the Twins j Cancer, the Crab ; Lso, the
X,lon; Virgo, the Virgin i Libra, the
Balance; scorpius, tno pcorppn,
Sagittarius; the Archer: Caprlcornus,".
the Goaf, Aquarius.. the'Water-Beaxer,
and Pisces, the Fishes. . s
2. Quito 'is the capital of Ecuador; '
S.James Russell Lowell was ' born oa
Washington's Birthday, 181B; 1
4 The Ku-Klux Klan was a secret orge.ni
ration which sprang up Irt' the Bouthi'
In reconstruction days after th7
Civil Wan Its object, was to Intlra-
in. iiacrwinn rnrnet.hairrArM anl
mum o.-, ,--r- ...-- -... . -
"scalawags." and to prevent them from 1
H.llil.il nMlnn. I
5, Vlvlanl, Brland, Rlbot, Palnleve and
Clemenceau nciu me umve ot rremicr 31
of Franco during the. course of the ?
war.
'An
S. Senator .Polndexter represents the ftaU jf'
Ol WU3IHHSW"- l " " - )ij
7. Thomas A. Arne, an English 'composer 'f
n ihA Alirhteenth century, wmini thm r
music of -"Rule Britannia." U
8, The Duko of Wellington ,dppo8ed""?fa- J
J . . ........ ,.... . ... .t. m
poicon uunui'urie pui unco in ' oaiUfi,T$
at WaterloA. ' ' ' "',7
ne Austen wrote "Pride, and PrcteU-J
9, Jane Austen wrote "Pride, and PreJsiUvs
dice'' arid "Sense and 6ensb!il(y,V L,
10. BlsvsM. states cemtasea tke vtixtimtrnt
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