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Eliciting public He&ge
THE EVENING TELEGRAPH
nrrnr Tr t t-rr.- .-,-.-..
t uuuii lluocr iUiirAlii
M,.,EIn.Fs,Ir;.K'. CURTIS, PumviKT
iS, " 'Lu'llnrlon, Vice rraeldrnti :
John C.
' 'JOHN C. MAtlTIN.
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J lMfcr.t,lkBtJ.r1?,,,,'r and Trfaturfri PnlllpA.Colltnal
jaf"1 n- willlama. John J. Prurron. Dlrtctora
editorial hoahd:
f Cliea II. K. CctTii, Chairman
.3DAY1D K. 8MILKT ... Editor
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EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER-PHILADELPHIA,- SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1919
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dlviduals who sought to make llfo pleasant
In Philadelphia for scrvleo men on leave
at various times during the exciting year
of 1918. Patriotism and humanity spon
taneously prompted tho admlrnblo work
accomplished.
Necessarily tho record of that achieve
ment Is Imperfect, but tho War Cump Com
munity Scrvleo has none tho less set Its
statisticians nnd estimators to work, nnd
its approximations need no florid common,
tary to heighten their meaning.
Moro than half a million tailors, soldiers
and marines on furlough arc said to have
been given food, lodging nnd special en
tertainment in this city last year. It Is
estimated that 32,000 private homes opened
thclr doors to tho men and that hospitality
In some concrcto form was dispensed more
than two million times.
The totals arc stimulating to legitimate
pride, and particularly so becnusn tho good
work was efficiently and sanely performed
and with comparatively llttl trumpeting.
THE WASHINGTON MYSTERY
GROWS GREATER EACH DAY
One Corner of tho Corld Where Every One
Sternly RclWs to Agree Wilb
Any One Else
"VESTEHDAY, while lYvsldent Wilson
J- U.
1
if
U
B
I'hlla.lrl,h)a. atunlay. Wbriiary I. I'll
"NOT GUl.TYP
rpiJIJ Major of I'lilladolphl.t does not havo
to go to Jail with Ike l)eutscli, I'ollco
Lieutenant Dennett ami tho other llttlo
fellows who did tho dirty political work lit
tho Fifth Ward pcindal, boratiso tho Phila
delphia Jury In Ills caso was not of tho
same mind as tho West Chester Jury in
theirs.
Although tho case required ten days for
presentation, tho testimony covering 300
pages, or 75,000 wordt each day, tho twelve
Jurymen did not deliberate long oer It,
acquitting as soon as they could tako their
first ballot. As nuo of them put it, they
had talked It over us tin1 trial proceeded
nnd were In agreement from tho first. S'o
It Is clear that they uero not very deeply
Impressed with tho charges ngalmt tho
Mayor. Technically, therefore, nothing
moro remains to be said.
But there were many things brought to
light at tho trl.il uhlch require explanation
by tho JIayor to the public
What does ho think of those higher of
ficers of tho I'ollco Department In whom he
placed such childlike trust that after ho
told them tho police must be kept out of
politics in tho Klfth Ward he dismissed tho
subject from his thoughts, despite tho fact
that every newspaper readrr In this part of
tho State knew how flagrantly tho law was
being violated?
Tho Mnjor hraiil every word of tho
damning cldonco against these officials.
They convicted themfclies out of their
own mouths. AVli.it verdict will he find
as their official chief Wo confess ina
bility to answer, but we venture the
uion that the people of Philadelphia, while
havo been spaicd tho humiliation of
'seeing their chief tiniiiiclp.il magistrate go
i to a nrison cell alone with his milltv subor-
,J dlnates, aio decidedly unsatlsllcd with tho
1 uuiteijiij uvufetiiife ii, Mini inn imjiiv.ii'ui
i police officers Indulged on thu witness
stand. It was convincing vvidenco of
W official Incompetence and a thuiough house-
cleaning or tno department or i'uuuo
i.....
j tsaieiy is immediately in oraer.
it ,,
i uuvt,niuH sruuubs uri'uttiu.Mix
TUIEI'E Is too much talk about unem
' -Ploymcnt in the United States and too
' llttlo action.
Pennsylvania so far has a cheering
record in tho statistics of the present labor
situation. Thero is no enforced Idleness
In this State, thousli unemployment is be
coming something of a problem elsewhere.
The situation Is not such as to warrant the
comber warnings which Secretary Wilson,
of tho Federal Department of l-abor. has
just coupled with a request for a $100,000,000
fund for emergency work. Mr. Wilson is
"merely beginning now a constructive
scheme which he might better havo started
a year ago.
tho industrial and financial and natural
respurcca of this Stato are perfectly ade
quate to provide plent of employment at
decent wages If they are wisely and
promptly utilized and adjusted. Tho na
tional government is In a mood to do all
that Is possible to help in stabilizing tho
prices of raw materials In order that manu
facturers may proceed as usual without
danger of loss.
No man who ever entered a public office
in Pennsylvania has had an opportunity
for original and conspicuous service such
yas now confronts Governor Sproul. Wero
ho to use nil his energy at once to act as
an arbiter and as an Inspirational force, to
erganlzo tho co-operative spirit of Pennsyl-
yanja business men for the reconstruction
pi'fiuu, lie wuuiu matte it nioro uniuani do
ilnnlng than any Governor who has pre-
Yr ceded him.
was talking of endless pcaco at l"arls.
Secretary Daniels talked lit Annapolis of
n dominant navy. Heforo any ono can tell
whether we are drifting Into tlmeji of en
during quietude or to enrs of overwhelm
ing armaments nnd new nnd mighty en
mities tho IIou.-o Commlttco on Military
Affairs Is placidly approving plans for a
standing army of 500.000.
Postmaster Gen. ral Uurleson, at play
amid tho telegraph wlrr-s. It getting deeper
Into his muddle. 1 1 seems happier for It.
Thero 1.. hardly ii day when Senator
Borah and Senator Lodgo do not arlso to
let It bo known that after tho world
has inado up Its mind and arranged lis
peaco they will have something terrible
to say. Indeed, It is Impossible to look
toward Washington in these .ues without
experiencing n senso of looso and Hying
ends of thought, of fogs and unceitnlnty,
of an absence of Ideas and convictions and
working knowledge.
Congiess 1h about the only remaining
corner of civilization In which it Is dim
cult 'to And a general und whole-hearted
sympathy for Mr. Wilson nnd his pur
poses. There aro'too many Senators and
Keprcsentatlvcs who know what they
would nut do. But they do not know what
they would do at Paris. It would bo pos
sible moro greatly to ndmlro Mr. Lodge
and Mr. Borah, for example, if when they
aroso to talk they would wiggest a better
method than that which Mr. Wilson and
tho other Americans are applying at the
Peace Conference.
Thero Is one serious fault to be found
with most of tho criticism aimed at tho
Wllsonlan policies. It is suited only to
old times. And everybody knows that old
times never return.
pcan peaco that vast Investments, com
incrcUl I n I crests, enormous loans, flying
slilpi anil wireless anil nit tho rest or Hie
war's aflrrmath have Involved American
Interests deeply with those of Kurope.
Anything that helps to tho peaco and
comfort of Kurorta will help to tho peace
and comfort of America.
To suppose that Mr. Wilson Is working
abroad solely in tho Interests of for
eigners, to set up Hottentot republics, in
Mr. Lodge's sprightly but woefully mis
leading phrase, Is to misunderstand a far
sighted statesman who usually has been
nblo to fico twlco as far as his adver
saries. Hut Congress likes Its old habits. It
loves to do things In tho happy old way.
When Senators nnd Kepresentatlvea nnd
Cabinet members talk wildly now and then
It Is comforting to observe that they never
agree. They nro merely casing the pres
sure of natural eloquence,
Washington means well enough. It will
bo Its old elf when it has something
tangible to think about. Meanwhllo wo
can bear Its llttlo Idiosyncrasies. And it
Is worth remembering that thero are men
In Washington who understand tho Im
mensity of our present nnd future protn
lems. But they nro watting. They rarely
talk. They are the silent ones.
CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S
LETTER
Primary Systems, Old and New.
Souvenir Cannon Wanted Spon
taneous Origin of a Local
Political Ditty
SPEAKING OF THE CONTINUOUS FLIGHT RECORD
.--"
'1
COMEDY IN MOL'KNING
4 'T'"K stugo can ill afford to bparo such
'j, ' accomplished masters of the; difficult
M 'art or comeuy as Nat t". Goodwin and
: Krmcte Novclll. Fun-making dependent
t .Unnn Annfn vnrnl imintirriatii or -i.i.nnfptnl(..
,t physique Is exceedingly common in the
WHiern theatre, whose managers cry for
$Tpe"; but the ability to arouso merrl-
,JM)t through legitimate, methods of ar-
-, , Mry. after tho fashion nllko of tho Amor
Wn and the Italian player, Is fast becom
'ri'M'Xoo raro:
;.wvuj.,..t ...... j..., IIIVUaaDII,Lll VI
marital ventures, was rffcctlve newspaper
'rtinv'l nf lain vpjra Tto'ni-A tli fnAllnl.i..
-,-ar.f -- ---- rf--... .-v.v,v ixv vfit,,iiaj
l"livr, iic war uiicriy uovoiu or rrcaKlsu.
Ills (Taftsinansliln was xnrn .m.i
n JH!t. l'b sen of -fum spontaneous, -and
JDarcto wero added flashes of so-called scrl
ttr power highly uppoallng In comblns
tawi. Whcnover ho fctcained tho latter gift.
owjvrf as in his Bhylock, the resulta
disastrous.
Jelther actor was a. supreme genius, but
cleverness delighted thousands and
yrill be mourned
t , ,
W THE CITY PLAYED HOST
vitality which blows Its own iorn
Of insincerity, and this imputa-
t wtyrttbji cat;op Um Hotnsreus
fgmm'
It is commonly said in Washington that
tho President is to blamo becauso he
didn't take tho country or lis Senators
and Representatives into his confidence
beforo ho went abroad. Does the skipper
of a ship tell his owners Just how ho Is
to make his course dally and hourly upon
strange seas?
Mr. Wilson appears to have known
beforo he started for Uuropo what every
one who reads has sinco been able to per
ceive that he was to bo opposed by forces
as formless ami as dangerous as a tempest
and as difllcult to grapplo with. It Is ap
parent that he has had to steer, as any
good navigator steers, not In accordance
with previously determined forms and for
mulas, but according to the drift of tides
and wind and weather.
Of course, Washington Is distressed and
mystified. The whole world Is distressed
and mystified. To listen to Mr. Lodgo
and Mr, Borah, to study the reactions of
Mr. Daniels and Mr. Burleson and tho
other Cabinet members who grope in cir
cles Is to be acutely aware of tho mental
vacuum that now afflicts most of ofllclal
Washington..
Washington is making a noise to show
that it 1h busy, whistling to keep Its
courage up and waiting for some real
news by which It may form solid judg
ments and be Its old self again. Foreign
parliaments and kings and chancellors
and prime ministers arc doing precisely
tho same thing. Tho whole world Is whis
tling to hldo Its weariness nnd its con
cern, livery one Is trying to feel mas
terful to case tho stress of waiting.
Those who aie actually lntcrestod in
America will do well to remember in theso
days that talk Is easy and achievement
difficult. The critic has no responsibilities.
Those whom he criticizes have great and
heavy ones. Washington is killing time.
A part of it Is getting Into mischief for
the want of better things to do. Mr. Bur
leson, with his wires, and Secretary Wil
son, of tho Department of Labor, when
ho talks of tho Bolshevists in America,
nro running rather wild. They show tho
absence of a guiding hand. They, too.
aro symptoms ql a general affliction.
Washington Is liko a man in an empty
house, who feels suddenly anxious and
forlorn and wishes the family were homo,
without knowing what to do meanwhllo.
Definite criticism, definite plans, schemes
for tho futuro will be Imposslblo until the
President, returns and makes his report to
tho nation. Wo shall havo to know the
nature of the futuro world beforo wo can
know tho terms upon which wo can deal
with it.
For the present the world is In flux.
Thero Is no precedent to guide America,
nothing In history which might guide a
man in dealing with the situation which
confronts tho American delegates at Paris.
Wo shall have to trust for tho present In
the astuteness Hnd dovotlon of the President.
But thcru aro men In Washington with
reputatlonHfor sagacity to maintain and
others wh" haven't outlived the pleasure
which they derive from seeing their names
li, print, If only In the Ilccord. AVhcn wo
know how far tho nations of Kuropo are
willing to go to avoid the sickening
menace of futuro wars and (lie almost
equally ruinous, burden of armaments we
shall be able to make plans and talk In
telligently of tho future.
And we shall know, too, whether the
President has succeeded or failed.
Meanwhile It Is a bit wearying to hear
the reiterated appeal for the old American
attitude, the old American isolation. Tho
President may havo taken a moment to
raUM Mftre e Mftatavta work for Sure-
CYNICS AND SKEPTICS OUT OF ORDER
po.VDi:.M.VATIOX of tho proposed man-
datory system of colonial control li
biucd upon a hypothesis. On tho supposi
tion that the plan will not work out In
practice, it becomes exposed as simply a
pretentious method of carrying out tho
cynical provisions of t-ccret treaties and
covert agreements. On tho other hand,
purely speculative arguments have often
been refuted by subsequent facts.
Tho Clermont whs "Fulton's Folly" until
It successfully made that memorablo voy
ago from Now York to Albany.
Tho Constitution was a compendium of
flno phrases until It actually united a na
tion.
Moreover, when tho test of a project has
not passed tho conjecture sta go It Is surely as
equally permissible to deduce lessons from
tho past as to envisago difficulties to come.
Had tho mandatory colonial system, sup
ported by it firmly wrought league of na
tions, existed fifteen years ago. King Leo
pold's cruel exploitation of tho Congo Freo
State might havo been promptly halted.
It Is concclvablo that mandate: from an
authentic partnership of nations might
have quenched tho Balkan Arcs which were
the proxlmato Cdtises of tho world war.
It was tho lack of any coopcrattvo au
thority In Kuropo which enabled Austria
to sclzo Bosnia and Herzegovina In bel
ligerent defiance of the Mlpulatlons of the
treaty of Berlin. It is arguable that she
was a mandatory, since until sho started
pledge-breaking she merely ndmlnlstcred In
supposed "perpetuity" those territories to
which Turkey retained the title. But there
was no unified prebsuro to stay tho Haps
burg hand. Even a loosely formed league
could probably havo accomplished that.
Granting, therefore, that tho proposed
International partncishlp will exhibit Im
perfections, It Is not extravagant to Im
agine It administering salutary warnings
should Australia abuse her rights In Papua
or Japan seek to step beyond her privi
leges In Yap.
The prospect that Britain's overseas do
minion and Japan will divide between them
tho wrcckago of Germany's colonial empire,
and that this appropriation may coincide
with tho secret treaty arrangements, need
not necessarily a"larm champions of a new
code of International dealing. These un
developed possessions, inhabited by black
or brown folk incapable now of self-government,
aro unfit for consideration undir
the self-determination principle. Somebody
must rule them. The proposal to turn them
over to their civilized neighbors Is sane.
If the world Is about to lose faith in the
leaguo of nations principle, then the sug
gested annexations come under the cate
gory of "grab." The survival of faith In
ttio major doctrine ought to bring hope for
the successful execution of one of its de
pendent projects.
No reasonable human being need be
fooled by the alleged compromise proceed
ings in Paris. Tho betrayal will como if
mandates promulgated in a crisis fall to
function. If they work it should not bo
depressing that Japan, Australia, New Zea.
land and South Africa got In open fashion
the same things which they fought to ac
quire by Intrigue.
Washington, Feb. l.
rjlHK suggestion attributed to Larry Uyre,
x the debonair Senator from Chester
County, that Pennsylvania shall abandon
the expensivo primary election system and
return to tho nominating conventions
would havo Intc tested the late Dr. W. B. Van
I.ennep, who counted among the Interest
ing experiences of his busy llfo tho nppcar
nnco ho once mado at the .Walnut Street
Theatre as spokesman for Tom Dugan, tho
republican nominee for Corcpor. The dele
gates from tho various wards w'cro duly
assembled and tho organization prelimina
ries wero all over when tho noted surgeon
was pushed out, nctor-llko, from bohlnd
tho files, IIo (iiileklv told about Tom
Dugan's virtues there Is an affinity be
tween tho Coroner's ofllco and .the medical
world and as quickly mado his bow and
backed off tho stage. "It was u pleasure
to do that llttlo thing for Tom and tho
party," tho doctor used to say, "but I
would have been Just as comfortablo In
the operating room." And that old con
vention rystcm, while it was abused, gen
erally compelled the part.es to put up good
men, or at least forced their sponsors in
tho open whero tho voters could eco what
was going on.
a
rp MILTON SHAFTO, who keeps In touch
x with Vnclo Davy Balrd and the big
fellows on tho New Jersey sldo of tho Dela
ware, used to bo ono of tho top lights at
tho Builders' L'xchange. He was "almost"
a member nf the celebrated "Skldmoro
Guards," of which Franklin M. Harris, the
late Bert Beeves, Cyrus Borgner nnd
Charley Welttr were charter members. In
recent years his activities havo been trans
ferred to New York, although ho keeps nn
eyo on tho Washington situation, having
a son in tlio navy. Tho members of the
Builders' Lvuhange, when tho record Is
written, will show up strong in thcl. per
sonal and financial contributions to the
ar.
rpili: tax on admissions to t.ymphony
orchestras. In which Commodoro Van
Hcnshelaermid other Ililladclphlans aro in
terested, provoked a discussion in which
Lodge, Kltchln, Penrose and Simmons par
tlclpated. Kltchln volunteered tho sug
gestion that people "would travel miles to
hear Caruso." "And there are lots of other
people." said Penrose, sot to voce, "who
would travel miles to get away from him."
'I he Uu1ct Thlnr
lit Do la to Ppeml
Here's hoping that
Undo Sam will lore a
billion dollara! lie
will lose that much if
the country has a bumper crop of wheat.
Tho government (with a perfectly gtfod rea
son) guaranteed tho farmer a price which
will likely provo a dollar moro than the,
market prlco If large crops are grown tho
world over. If L'nclo Sam loses that billion
dollars bread will bo cheaper; It won't cost
soYiuch to keep .chickens; poultry and eggs
will b cheaper; and the people of tho coun
try will raise the money to reimburse I'ncle
Sam in Jig time..
Tho faco of a Bolshevik In the window
Is speeding up the work of tho Pcaco Conference.
Secretary of Labor Wilson tells us. In
effect, that wo phould take our dose of
"hysteria" calmly.
The 108th Artillery, tho old Second
Ileglment, la going to sail as a unit. And
that's the way woil welcome It.
With the lifting of restrictions oij the
construction of steel ships a possibility in
tho near future. Uncle Sam's merchant navy
will get a big boost
Franco has proposed to the Powers that
Finland be recognized as an Independent
nation. Iter sister nations have, so far, con
stdered her merely a "flapper."
The announcement that the New York
Shipyard will employ from 3000 to 8000 ad
ditional men Is a fine optimistic note among
altogether too many "blue" ones.,
The National AaocU.tlon of Merchant
Tailors has ordained that man shall wear
"shapely, form-fltllng raiment In IJIS."1
Bac! to the paint and feathers I
Word comes from Paris that the Czechs
and Poles aro willing to accept the decisions
of the Peace Congress. Already we begin to
see the effect of the self-denial 'of tile big
powers in the matter of the Ilgn colonies.
The President's Mctory pn that one point
OIIANGUS of personnel at Frankford
Arsenal and the recent laying off of
many of the war workers remind us of
tho home-coming of Colonel Georgo Mont
gomery, who worked so long and Indus
triously to forco tho arsenal to tho front as
tho biggest small-arms ammunition plant
of tho country. While tho Colonel was
at tho head of the Institution Itock Island,
Springfield and tho others were kept awake
and watching. The commandant believed
In Philadelphia nnd kept everlastingly at It.
a a a
jyTAJOrt A. J. DB.EXEL BIDDLE. who
' stands very close to General Barnett,
the head of the marine corps, is giving
Bible class talks In Washington churches.
Tony Is generally announced ns carrying "a
burning message from the front." He Is
Just as good-natured and popular in Wash
ington aa he Is In Philadelphia, and as tho
"devil dogs" know that ho can set up his
lists and mako a good fight, a la Jack
O'Brien, they respect his appeals to tho
nobler side of life. And so long as wo
have Tony on the mat why not recall that
early temperance movement of his about
tho time his nctlvo mind took up tho Bible
class idea? Disposed of all tho wines In
his Walnut street homo and proclaimed
milk his favorite beverago forcvermore!
That was beating tho thirty-six States to It.
a a
TTERE'S one that helps to clear up tho
-" story of tho origin of tho South Phila
delphia marching song that greeted Presi
dent Wilson on his arrival in France. Con
gressman Vare. who is an authority on
downtown products, vouches for II, Dur
Ing tho fight of tho Leaders' Leaguo to
wrest control from tho old Martin-Porter
combination, Harvey K. Newltt, who had
jDocn biartcd in politics by Senator Porter,
was selected to run for Itecelver of Taxes
against AVlllIam J. Honey, who was very
closo to Senator Martin. The Vare brothers
were getting tho First Ward delegates In
readiness for the convention at the old
Quay Club, at Seventh and Mifflin, but Just
beforo tho boys wero ordered to niovo
Charley Fov,lcr, u local celebrity, who had
been reading about "tho gang," vvhlcji was
a familiar political term In those days, be
gan to sing out after tho manner of, tho
camp-meeting enthusiast, "Hall! Hall! the
gang's all here." (To which tho come-back
was "What tho 'hell do wo carei" And
thus, ac?ordlng to the Congressman, was
planted the germ from which has sprung
tho rival of "Tipperary" and "Marching,
Through Georgia." "
TjTOKMKR aOVErtNOrt EDWIN S.
STUABT, who Is now at the head of tho
Board of City Trusts, which looks after
Glrard College and the Glrard Estato cen-
crajly, has started something In the war
ofllco. They are all enthusiastic Americans
In the Glrard Estate, and acting for his
fellows, the former Governor. is seeking
to obtain one or moro of tho cannon cap;
turca irom mo uermans to Do placed on
tho grounds of Glrard College. Tho Gov
ernor Is In early, but the War Department
has been receiving so many requests for
captured war material o.- for unused ma
teria! desired, by vaiious Institutions for
memorial purposes that nothing has been
done thus far except to -mako record of
tho requests. As In most .European war
matters the 'department has put the re
quests up to. Goneral Pefshlng, around
whom, personal and orflclal.'all Amorlcan
war matters In Europe seem to center, The
department seems unable to tell Just how
much captured cannon and other war ma
terial will bo available. Some of it lias
been shipped over for exposition purposes
In connection with the Liberty Loan drives,
but It wlll-be some timt.yet beforo any
I
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,
lit
' V.I
ELBOW ROOM
Tomorrow m
TTOW sweet a consolation there is in that
llttlo word "tomorrow"! Tho poets
havo given it an unduly melancholy tang
probably because "soirow" and "borrow"
aro the only ready rhymes for It. You
can never trust a poet to tell the truth
when he Is pinched for rhymes.
CTOB. poor, easygoing humanity "Tomor-
row" solves all problems. Tomorrow
(we trustfully sa) tho shirts will come
back from the laundry; we will write that
letter to Bill; wo will give up smoking; we
will be brave enough not to temper our
cold bath with warm water. Tomorrow,
after wo havo had a refreshing sleep, we
villi compose the Immortal poem; wo will
refashion our llfo on an austere, reason
able philosophy; wo will get our hair cut;
we will astonish the Boss.
TTUMAN1TY must bo fond of Tomorrow,
- because thero Is always so much work
being saved for that occasion.
a
HE THAT works Tomorrow will triumph
Testcrday.
TT IS sad to reflect that for each of us
- there Is coming the day with no To-
Fixed Ideis
SOCRATES, long havo I loved end' ad
mired you;
Fertile your brain, lad, and fervid your
pen;
With no "Fixed Idea" how was It they
hired you?
Oh, Soc, If you love me, don't tay It
again.
For whero wero the fun In tho day's dizzy
battle;
The scratching for fihekels, the looking
for loot;
Had wo no "Fixed Idea" to din on end
prattle, .
Had we' nothing, mo darlint, to arguo
1 aboot?
I shake in the morning the dew from my
whiskers; ' '
Then open my highboy, wherein I have
stored
Ideas, all "fixed" some todatcv yet bomo
friskers,
I draw forth a fresh one, then lock up
my hoard.
T walk to the corner, my idea glistens,
Today It Is Freo Lovo, mayhap Clnglo
Tax;
I argue liko Cato If 'any one listens;
At night I return it' and let It relax.
Then up In the morning I Jump like a
tinker,
I dust off another and give It the. air;
This habit lias earned me a rep as a.
thinker;
I'm invited to dlnners.Mn fact, EVERY
WHERE. Socrates, long will I lovo and admire ybu
Go get an Idea that's healthy and wise,
Or go catch a docen and twang on your
i lyre, you;
Disciples will fbttk to your feet, Soc, like
AIM.
Yes, We Bit
TT Is sad to have to confess that the
following was 'pulled on us by a caller
from Brooklyn.
"Why Is it," he asked, "that when you're
looking for something you always And it
in tho very last placo you think of?"
"Why, indeed?" wo murmured placidly.
"Because after you've found It vou don't
look anywhere else."
As to Cartoonists
We missed Irvin Cobb's "Eating In Two
or Three Languages" when It appeared in
tho Saturday Evening Post, but wo wero
lucky enough yesterday to run Into it in
book form. Wo think Herb. Johnson's pic
tures, which aro reproduced in the little
book, aro about the best amusement wo
havo chuckled over in a long time. Par
ticularly tho ono that bhows Irvin falling
to on a plump chicken leg with plenty of
gravy, and Mr. Hoover, with tears in his
eyes, Is begging him to desist. "Herb!"
cries Irvin, "stand back! Stand well back,
to avoid being splashed."
If there Is any cartoonist doing more
dellciously amusing stuff than Herbert
Johnson, wo don't know of him.
We have often wondered how it comes
about that so many of tho most talented
cartoonists como from tho West and South
Thero seems to bo somo subtlo elixir In
thoso parts that lends odd humor and
genial mockery to- tho pencil. Herbert
Johnson Is from Nebraska. Claro Brlggs,
who Is now a national byT.-ord, from Wis
consin. Darling ("Ding") of tho lively wit
Is from Michigan. And Rollln Itirby, of
tho New York World, whom some think
the most talented of them all, from Illinois.
Sidney Smith, who does the ever-dcllghtful
"Oumps," Is aUo from Illinois.
And from the South como our own Char
ley Sykcs, Just overhead on this page, who
claims Athens, Alabama, as birthplace, and
Fontalno Fox, from Kentucky.
a a
Speaking of Fontaine Fox-, the origin' of
the Tooncrvlllo Trolley is amusing. Fox
was at one time a reporter on a paper In
Louisville, Ky and was sent out on an
assignment to write a story-about a ram
shackle old street car lino that was a dis
grace to the town. Instead of writing his
story ho .at down on a convenient curb
stono and drew sketches of the ancient
vehicles as they rumbled by. Tho news
paper, seeing their comic value, printed a
series of the pictures, and .tho public mer
rlmont was so great that the old cars wero
mugnea out of existence. Subsequently,
when Fox becamo a cartoonist, he took up
the Idea of the old trolley and developed
It in the way all students of our comic
page know,
Wo tell this from memory only, but Fox
told us tho talo himself and we think tho
facts aro very much as we liavo stated
them.
Wo are not awaro under what sign of
tho odiao Mr. Wilson was born, but cer
tainly It was not Capricorn. Wo havo yot
to'hear of any one getting his goat.
Compared -to W.W.. Job was hot-tern-pered
and quick on tho trigger.
Speaking of Uniniwereci Letters
In human Intercourse tho (rrfgedy begins,
not when thero is misunderstanding about
words, but when' silence Is not understood.
Thereau,
Wo r mors trli9t Tirlw than of.
THE TRIOLET
Your triolet should glimmer
Liko a butterfly;
In golden light or dimmer,
Your triolet should glimmer.
Tremble, turn and shimmer,
Flash, and flutter by;
Your triolet should glimmer
Liko a butterfly.
DON MARQUIS.
I
Sf;
Maybe They Jlare
Tbelr Own Ideas
Director General Plez,
of the Emergency Fleet
Corporation. In a re
cent interview, said,
by Implication, that striking shlpworkers
were unwitting benefactors nnd uncon
scious political economists. He declared that
with Increased wage there had come de
creased efficiency, and that what the ship
yards needed was a breathing spell to mako
the necessary readjustments. Which, of
course, Is not at all what the shlpworkers
aro fighting for.
British Colonials havo a grievance
against tho mother country because of the
assent of the English delegates to President
Wilson's plan for tho government of the''
Hun colonics; but tho grievance Is one that
is likely to disappear as events unroll.
There Is a scrarhblo among the "wets"
In Harrlsburg to get on the band wagon
which, In this case, Is the water wagon.
Man Is a gregarious animal. And the man
who dares to be a Daniel Is only occasion."
ally found.
oil
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The trouble with somo of the laws for
regulating tho .firearm business is that guns
are regulated out of tho possession of law
abiding citizens, whtlo crooks and Jhugs.
manaKO to eot them. This Is dlatlnctivelv
encouraging to a burglar in tho wco sma" ''"b
hours. y pf
?
If one doubts tho fact that German Mo
propaganda is Mill active, one has only to ,
r!irl lhA uHr1Ha r1lnii41i it iinm, Ainprl.
can correspondents in Berlin. At this late JP!
date one may find therein veiled defense of rn
submarine warfare, pitiful stories of Ger
man suffering and alleged fear of German
Bolshevism; but not u word of regret for
Hun rapine, nor u word of confession con
cernlng German buslness's deliberate de
struction of French prosperity.
, j
X
M
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i
What Do You Know?
IIS '
. H
P,
tIT-
QUIZ
,
1 YTnw .minv United Ktatea nrmv rnmna
were maintained In the country during 'ft-w'
the war? ' ' ' JlJ
2. What long popular American comedian &ltt
died yesterday? . , jo
3. What are the ailerons of airplanes? rft'
4. How many Psalms arc there In tho Bible? '--ikr
D. When did President Wilson deliver his. tli'
"Fourteen Points' speech? ,$
6. When did Oeorge V ascend tho tlirono? rts'rti
7. Who discovered the Virgin Islands In the ' -rra '
S, Who said "After me, the deluge"?
9. Who invented smokeless powder?
10. What Is the meaning of "fofllsslmo"?
WJ
Answers to Yeilerdiy' Quiz , .j v'
1. The capital of the Australian Common- , ,
wealth, pending the transfer to Csn- j.
uerra is iuctuourne, iu wio Diuie oiw ,p
victoria. ",M
2, The. word ''aUto" means Jumped. f. 'ff
3, Iowa Ci tho "Hawkeyo State." "V'wHJ
4, Luke Erie la tho shallowest of the llv ' (
great lakes of America. .'"$
B. Bart. Is. the abbreviation for baronet. "
6. The
United
States pays the Panama
.-5 1
republlo zt0,000 annually for occupa !',
iiou oi me canai ono. , ,
7. aucllelmo Marconi Invented wireless
telegraphy in 1800. i y
I. Tho majority of the presidents of th'
United titates were lawyers by pofoe-'
slon. ..
9, Sixty minutes make, a degree. in, oirur
"7"yTt
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