Evening public ledger. (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, January 24, 1919, Night Extra Closing Stock Prices, Page 10, Image 10

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THE EVENINGnTELEGRAPH
PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
emus it. k. cuhtis, rumrtNT
.Charles II. Ludlns-ton, Vice President, John C.
Martin, Secretary and Tressureri Phltlus Collins,
John B. Williams, John J ("euraeon. Directors
EDtToniAii noAnDi
Cuts It. K CcntK, Chairman
DAVID E. SMILHT Editor
JOHN C. MAtlTIK Otneral uualness Manar
TublUh'd dally at Tittle l.rixun tlulldlnc,
Independence Square. Pnlladelphia
Ltsars Cmia Broad and e'hestnui Rt'eetj
Atlintic ClTt I'irfi I'nloii BulMInc
New Yoac 206 Metropolitan Tower
DrraoiT 411.1 Knr.l Htiihlinc
BT. Ixtcia loos Kullerlon HulMlne
Cmciuo 1202 Tribune liulldlne
NBW8 BUREAUS:
WnnivoToN Ctmc,
N. E. Cor. Tenniylvanla Ave and 11th st
New York Bireau The Sun liulldlne
Lonpo BCRtAU... London Jtmei
SUBSCRIPTION THUMB
Ths nrcMvi Pcbiiu Lcnuia la served to mid
acrlbers tn Phltadelrlit.i and surroundliii: towns
at the rate of twelve 1121 tenia per week, paiuble
to the carrier.
l)y m.ill to point" outside of Philadelphia. In
the Untied Htates. Canada, or Unite Males pos.
assslnns, pontace free flfty l.vn centa ter month.
6!x (ffl) dollars per esr. payable In advance.
To all foreign countries on (111 dollar per
month.
Noncr Subscribers wlahtnr address chanced
must give old as well as new address.
BELL. 3000 TALMT KF.YSTONf. MUX JOOO
CT .tddrru nil communlcntwni fo Kvvino rubllo
Ledger, Independence Square, Philadelphia.
Member of trie Associated Press
THE ASSOCIATE!! PllESS is e-xrlti-sivclu
entitled to the use for republication
of all news dispatches ct edited to it or not
otherwise credited in this paper, and also
the local news puhlished thcicin.
All rights of republication of special dis.
patches herein arc also teserved.
Philadelphia. Vrldai, January II. Ill'
POLICE AM) POLICE
BETWKEN the Individual policemen of
Philadelphia and the police depart
merit there Is a vast difference. The men
of the sen-ice ate almost Invariably vic
tims of their direction. Vet ait easy-going
public opinion often docs the man In uni
form the Injustice of listing him as a will
ing participant In "the system."
The Patrolmen's Benevolent Association
hns a membership of .1:00 men. There nre
only 3700 rankers In the whole sen Ice.
The benevolent association l.s out with a
formal appeal directed to Governor Hproul
and the State Legislature in behalf of a
new city charter wh'ch would reorganize
the police department. In order that "po
Hcemen may be free to do their duty."
The quotation Is from the tet of the
formal statement Issued by the patrolmen
themselves.
In other words. 3200 of the 3700 mem
bers of the Philadelphia force s.iy In black
and wtilte that the ate sick of politics;
that they want to be free of the "clutches
of the politicians," and that they wish to
be enabled to work under a police com
missioner whose appointment would be
made possible by a new charter. The am
bition does them ctedlt and ought to be
fulfilled.
Arrests following an Nploslon of an
ammunition dump Indlcite th.it the criminal
Hun Is still bit-- In Belgium.
MAKE THE WELCOME REAL
1T7U1.COM I NO so d.ers is a pleasant occu-
' pation. It Is one In which every
community reveals a whole-hearted en
thusiasm. Now that this el'y Is to have
an opportunity to express Itself In this
fashion. It may be worth our while to re
member that In some parts of the country
at least thete is one fault lu the usual
welcome extended to home-coming service
men. flood intentions evaporate too quickly
after the soldiers land. The welcome burns
Itself out In cheers and flag-waving.
" The men who havo fought In France
dosetve a welcome that will extend over
from day to day and make the way easier
for them when they seek a way back into
the scheme of everyday life. An uproar
at the river front, speeches b centlemen
In frock coats, flag-bedecked tus tooting
good-naturedly aro all well enough. The
soldiers themselves will bo Justified If they
expect consideration and regard and u
touch of warmth In the receptions to bo
accorded them later on when there are
no flags around and no committees of wel
come: when they go, in other words, as
rather lonely lads looking for Jobs and a
place In the society which they helped to
preserve.
It Is then that this city and every other
city will have an opportunity to show
whether Us welcome was merely a super
llclal flash of emotion or tho expression of
u genuine understanding of what wo owe
to the men in the service now on their
way home. Doubtless some of the stories
of soldiers left di stltute and lonely ore
exaggerated. But It beems to be pretty
plain, too, that a good many Individuals
In ofllces and factories are often dwpoied
to forget their obligation to returned serv
ice men and to shift tho whole matter out
of their minds with the vague feeling that
tome one else will live up to a duty which
they evade.
It must be said l'oi the IJulieh. viks and
the Spa.rtac.ins that tin usually get iihat
they want. What tb-' i i t l a rlo.
THE l.KLAT II UIM.-W ItC MYsTKKY
OK COl'UHK l'enn-v'uthl.i will get In
line, as the iuIiiI-im uv, with the
"drs." What Is to be. will l.r. And tdnco
J. Barlejcorii has such an nivonotno record,
tho pronouncement of his doom might as
well be unanimous.
Yet, If tho shades of old and vanished
politicians haunt Ilarnsburg, they must
liavo a helpless seno of profound mystifi
cation at a spectacle, that would confound
' any sngt. In many .State capita s tho
ablest students of American political meth
ods have confessed themtolves; utterly
stumped by a phenomenon now common
in Harrlsburg. What win ou my about
rotund, Jolly, Jovial and sophisticated gen
tlemen who gather In groups mid announce,
Tver cold bottles or with tinkling glasses,
ondly upiaibcd, that they were always lor
prohibition und uro going to du their best
to make the country bone drj '.
In Harrlsburg Ulinliinc on tho water
wagon Is synonymous with climbing on tho
band wagon.
WILD TIMES TO COME
IN THE old days tho lly cop whs a llguro
of speech. Now ho Is to bo u reality.
Winged Itlvverp, priced tit $700 each, will
blacken tho tky In the near future M fi.
Douglas Wardrop wasn't spooling the
Engineers' Club when he revealed the In
aide plans of the airplane muniifactuiers.
An air fijvier will do HC mllea an hour
easily, and sluco wars nre likely to be no
more, the .tremendout energies mobilized
behind aviation sclcnco In America arc to
bo diverted to make llylng rafe, easy and
cheap for civilians.
Air policemen, Mr. Wardrop said, will
havo to bo organised. Ordetly folk who
tin not fly will have to become accustomed
to vIsIIoih at riving through the ce ling and
tho upper windows. Any one who knows
what motor Joy rides are on Saturday
night will feel now that prohibition didn't
tn rive n day too soon. Ch ekens will be
glad they lantiot fly high and cows will
have i canon to chucklo because they aicn't
born with wings.
W ILSO.VS LIBERALISM WI.VS
FIRST VICTOR Y LN PARIS
Arrcptjitce of His Proposal tn C.ivc Rllsia
an I'libun'il Hearing u Profounill) Heart-
cuing Index of Heal Proprcss
TTON'ESTY of intent, courageous sin
cerity of purpose compose the moral
fiber of tho Peace Council's proposal to
Rive all Russia a fair hearing. So
straightforward and manly is this deci
sion that it is the most reassuring of
aupuries that the old discredited di
plomacy of the Congress of Vienna breed
will not be petmittcd to prevail at Paris.
Whatever attempts ut its assertion were
made in this particular instance and
the outgivings of Foreign Minister
Piehou were evidences of such en
deavor they have been signally de
feated. The prime agent in this victory has
been President Wilson. The text of his
proposition, accepted by tho Palis con
ferees, displays a blend of practical wis
dom and determined, truth-loving zeal.
The method of simplicity is forcibly
applied to a problem of perilously in
creasing complexity. Enigmas which can
survive such treatment arc insoluble.
The most Stygian fog is consumed by
direct rays of .sunlight. Primarily, the
Russian riddle has been baffling because
of defective illumination. Misinforma
tion, propaganda on all sides has clouded
the issue.
The credentials alike of taints or devils
are now sought. Whatever the concerted
Powers' future course of action may be,
it will be taken in strict cognizance of
facts. Peace congresses of the past
have been wont to shy at such stubborn
things, as strikingly evidenced in the
way Vienna in 1S14 deliberately mistook
the helplessness of republicanism in
Europe for its nonexistence. Today the
first great triumph for open diplomacy
is to be registered and tho test is es
pecially vital, since the most hidden of
themes is about to be uncovered.
The proposed procedure is re-enforced
by the most urgent practical necessity
whereby even selfish interest is brought
in line with ideal aims. The President
has emphasized this point in his declara
tion that "Europe and the world cannot
be at peace if Russia is not." The post
ponement of peace damages purses as
well as lofty sentiments. The latter are
stimulated by Mr. Wilson's recognition
of "the absolute right of the Russian
people to direct their own affairs with
out dictation or direction of any kind
from outside" anil the disavowal of any
with "to exploit Russia or make use of
her in any way." The former will un
questionably be fortified against shrink
age by any means which will help to
restore tho largest country on the globe
to a state of order.
As was recently pointed nut in thse
columns, tho regeneration of Russia by
means of great Allied aimics, compelled
perhaps to tight a new and teniblo war,
was n conception so revolting that even
the blindest Tories, who may have nour
ithed some such notion in their hearts,
foresaw the uselessness of energetically
proposing such a "remedy." M. Pichon's
fulminations against the Bolshevists, not
publicly repeated, repre-.ented the ex
treme of the Junker efforts. The most
vivid retaliatory thrust was made in the
British attempt to secure repre.-entation
at Pari.- for the Leninists.
That attitude, however, had tho dan
gerous nutur of a venture in the dark.
The course adopted has been called a
compromise. In icalitv, although it had
the advantage of appealing to both sides,
it is much more forthright than such an
adjustment in diplomacy usually is. Its
supremo merit is an opon-mindedness
which leave the Powers free to act to
tho best of their ab;lity find discernment
on the evidence submitted and at the
same, timo absolves them from tho least
suspicion of official unfairness at the
outset.
No uch inquiry as the one scheduled
for Princes Island hits ever in history
been conducted on tho state of a nation.
Fantastic manifestoes will be worthies.
If tho Bolshevist case can be justified,
opportunity for extenuation will be
given. If tho Omsk government or tho
"Republic of the Don Cossacks" has
suppoitaide pleas they may bo advanced,
The tribunal will not judge until the
facts aro in or at least every chanco has
been given for their admission.
Tho selection of a balmy isle in tho Sea
of Marmora for tho hearings Wpcnks
a keen senso of "situation" lu tho ex
traordinary drama. Tho native Turko
Orck population, by reason of language
barriers anil numerous, other c revm
stances, will be impervious to the wiles
of the propagandist. Furthermore, tho
locale lenders posiible the appnrance of
all the Slavic delegates. It is the judges
who will reverse tho usual procedure by
traveling to meet the witnesses. Rumor
cloyed Paris will not embarrass tho pro
ceedings. Tho court will be as exempt
from insidioub inlluenc-s of environment
as a Puddhiist monastery In the Hirsa
layas. Unlike that, however, it will be
open. He may come who will.
The comprehensiveness of this oiler
neofi only dismay those whoso causes
nie not intrinsically worth nmseit'ig.
The Bolshevists, who have accused the
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER
liberty-loving nations of the world of
aggressive capitalistic sordldness, may
perhaps come to scoff. But if they do
appear, it will at least display the cour
age of convictions. Repudiation of the
Entente's offer, predicating nothing be
yond n conference, would thoroughly
warrant tho elimination of the soviet
regime from consideration. If it is re
calcitrant, protests ngninst conceited
foreign action against It, undertaken for
tho restoration of order and sanity,
would lose validity. Tho burden of proof
is now on Moscow nnd other head
quarters of diverse factions.
The protest already registered in
Paris of such anii'Bolshevist lenders a.i
SaiotwfT and Lvoff sound suspiciously
like crs for special and un'ivarrantcd
favoritism. The justice of a cause of
which u fair examination is diseoun
trnnnccd ia indeed questionable and the
bitterness of thcic special pleaders in
Paris beara ugly implications of resent
ment over the poisibility of a defeat for
purely selfish interests. S'lrgius Sazon
off was a former minister of the Czar,
fie ts under peculiar obligations to prove
Inn sincerity.
Fortunately there is as yet no indica
tion that such men as he, making tho
most of the old associations between
France and the former Russian mon
archy, speak with final authority. It
will be madness and a clear confession
of moral weakness for any of the
Russian "governments" to reject the
inquiry. A response from all factions
seems unavoidable and doubtless will yet
come. The Russian situation as viewed
from special propaganda circles in Paris
is seen only from a very oblique angle.
Moreover, it is more than probable
that nn ensemble of really honest
champions of other than Bolshevik in
terests may be of profound import.
If their governmental structures are
jerry-built, inquiry will reveal that
weakness. Facts to tho contrary, how
ever, may prove to be of the highest
moment in the world's monumental re
construction task. Co-ordination of these
Slavic movements might conceivably re
sult in the extinction of Bolshevism.
It should bo understood, none the less,
that such an event is not the aim of the
sincere invitation. The Allies, empower
ing P'csident Wilson in this instance to
be their spokesman, solemnly declare
that "they regard the Russian people as
their friends, not their enemies, and aro
willing to help them in any way they
ave willing to be helped" and" that they
"are seeking some way to assist the Rus
sian people to establish order."
The means employed is in the quintes
sential spirit of the new code of interna
tional dealing which unprejudiced free
men everywhere insist must be the re
ward of all the years of strife antl bloody
sacrifice. Grandeur and a most winning
frankness arc combined in the sympa
thetic offer enabling Russia to clear her
self. The formation of a binding league
of nations wiil not be more fittingly in
tunc with tho ideals of the age, since
the inevitable condition precedent to
peace i the functioning of honest nnd
orderly self-detcimination throughout
one-eighth of the land surface of tho
globe Russia.
It is particularly noteworthy that tho
unique message which the radio is deliv
ering to nil governmental seats in Rus
sia recognizes "the revolution without
reservation" and stipulates that the
Powers "will in no way and under no
circumstance aid or give countenance to
any attempt at a counter-revolution."
Accompanying passages make it clear
that the stupendous change specified was
the oveithrovval of Czardom. Explicit
wording forbids misconstruction on this
significant point and, indeed, misconcep
tion of the logic and sanity of the whole
document is impossible save to the pur
blind. Th" pioposal and unimpeachable
integrity of the efforts toward its execu
tion constitute by far th" finest tangible
fruits thus far of the President's unre
mitting labors in Europe.
The American and Ihistllt-li point of view
is tl.ut before there Is an murr fighting In
ItuKsla thr Alius should hn,- u-finlte lnfor
ma..on as to what It is all about
That Juryman's opinion ns to the rela
tie Importance of polities and the milk
busitie-s will hi- rumuIiiiU h every Infant In
the Commonw'Mth
After ptufants had luli.iaeil his cistle,
I'ount Andran- du lured h would never
live In It again It n be that the count
is malting u virtue of necrsiit
The Krupp works at llixri are busy
making parts for guns surrendered to the
Americans. So far from considering this a
sample of drl'iatcpsui Uertlu knows this
u be u bitter mouthful,
Mabe then was tio Intention to dis
criminate ag.itnn Philadelphia In landing re
turning troopsbut It didn't hurt a little lilt
tn lt the country know where Philadelphia
stiindr.
There is mighty little news nu.it on the.
bone the supreme council of the 1'iuce Con
feretico dally hands out. As a hand. out it Is
far from s.itlxfylm; ; but it l.s amazing what
a lot of good soup can by boiled out of it.
llet a bag of pianuts that hcti the
President attends the ship's "old Halt Thea
tre" em his return irlp Mr. Tanibo will hae
lomcihiiig to my to Mr Hones about Prance
tailing (ifoige Wellington to her IirM.
The tur tux on cabaret admissions Is
to be Increased from 1" tu II per cent
Patrons with real strength of tnlnd might
dedui t the excess from the hnt-chick b,in
dlt tip Hut are ihe e any p.itrons butll-cii-itly
(iironB-nimilid
Hermans must pay gold for American
foml They are plavlng In luck They will
get what they pay for When they paid gold
for propaganda In this country they got
nothing but disappointment.
V
PHILADELPHIA, FRIDAY; JANUARY
OCULAR MAGNETISM
OF COLONEL HOUSE
The Prrsithmt's Adviser Character
ised at "a Great Reporter"
Lord Northcliffe, Master
Propagandist
By CLINTON W. GILBERT
frtarT Cnrrtiponilrnt ef Ih l.vrnlni Public Ledger ilh
Ihe Teaee Detriatlnn In Irenes
Special Correspondence
ropirioht, IS ll, bu Public l.eilner Co.
Paris, Jan. 7.
rii:OIlCli: CIIKHI Ih typical of the Amor-
lean pence mission. The mission Is
a great International propaganda. Mr. Wil
son's prosenco in Europe was propaganda.
The President expects to accomplish free
dom of the seas and the league of nations
by propaganda, And propagandists aro
not executives. It was not the act of a
good executive to arrive hero too soon.
There Is no good executive in sight.
TTNI,i:ss, of course, It Is Colonel House,
the man of mystery, whose friends al
was describe him In one set phrase, "an
exceedingly well-informed man." Somehow
unanimity about that phrase does not sug
gest capacity to get things done. You
look at Colonel House and at first you
think what an Inslgnltlcnnt figure he Is.
Then gradually ou forget tho ttltllng
frame, the unimpressive .ountenatice, the
h'tnds thrust deep In poc'.tett as the colo
nel carries his unobtrttslvencss to nlwajs
hiding Ids hands from the view of man
kind. You como to the eyes. You become
absorbed III the ees. The eyes fascinate
you. They are seeing eyes, ryes that have
seen much, eyes that will seo much, eyes
hat mlsa nothing. Unquestionably a great
reporter. The colonel honors occultism
without knowing It or Intending It. Tho
reporter's eye has made him the most Im
portant man In the American peace mis
sion outside the President,
"CmuM this
House pern
ou perceive that Colonel
mlts himself to be seen seen
nf the press, a reporter standing up before
reporters. The commission l.s on exhibition
once a day, lu the morning at the Ctillon,
It talks. It answers questions. It un
bends and chats individually. It tells noth
ing and It says It has nothing to tell, and
everybody believes It.
The eyes of the V. S. A. ire honored lu
an amusing waj. Secretary Lansing Is
the head of tho delegation. He talks to
the press, the trtir-blue American press, all
foreigners barred. Occasionally he savs
things with a rising Inflexion, looking un
easily toward ("oionel House. When the
colonel hears the rising Inflexion he thrusts
Ills hands deeper In his pockets, shifts his
feet Into a more lounging attitude and
takes tip the thread of the slory. speaking
flatly and with a confidence that the head
of the delegation never shows.
SKI: INC, the pres shows how men will
fall when far from home. Kven Presi
dent Wilson has seen the press. Colonel
limine sees the piess. This slipping from
one's high estate Is probably something
like tho-e lapses which made KIsIc Janls
or some one call the Hue da It Palx the
street where American husbands rue and
pay. The fiber goes out of you In a
foreign place. Vim condescend. You see
the press or worse.
PMKHAPri It Is loneliness,
cllfle seemed to have n
Lord North
sense of the
President's lonelltH'ss and came over to
Pat l.s to bear him company. Instantly
something happened The air was electric.
You felt as If the Ilrltish Government Ivid
arrived. The troubles were smoothed. The
great Anglo-Saxon co-operation which was
to till the future dawned suddenly. The
league of nations almost began to function.
The ISrltlsh (iovernmi-nt was for It. The
Ilrltish (loviTnnient ' Well, Northcliffe,
then. What Is tho difference between the
two'.'
IN TWO d.i.vs the ene
has no i counterpart
ttergetlc editor, who
anywhere In the
world, had taken the President under his
wing. The league of nitlnns was North
clltfe's Idea and the President was for It!
Or that Is the way It seemed. The Presi
dent had glv en an Interview to North
cllffe's London Times, and Northcliffe be
came the foremost propagandist for tho
league of nations.
IT IS all vpi.v amusing to any one- who
Ins been In Washington and who knows
liuvv Northcliffe came to merlcn to be
come a little father to America, and how
coldly his paternal Intentions were received
In Washington. In Washington Wilson
was his own propagandist. Northcliffe with
one government under one arm wns not
permitted to take another government
under another. His praises of America's
efforts and of the Administration evoked
no smile. On the contrary, they were re
sented by the confident man In tho White
House The Notthcllffe propaginda was
frowned upon. The chill grew. Pinally
Northcliffe went home.
bi;i
T now it Is dlffeient. Perhaps It is
being awnv from home In n strange
land that makes It different. We are all
children when we find ourselves alone In
the dark. Northcliffe rushed Into the dark,
piercing it like a rav nf light. He grnsped
the President's hand nnd went away for
the moment at least with the league of
nations, his league of nations, clasped to
his breast.
AND Nurl
Ollfll w
Northcliffe Is a factor to bo rei k-
that when the slory of the Peaco Confer
ence comes to be reckoned with, his name,
will bulk larger than that of any other
man than Woodrow Wilson. And make no
mistake. Woodrow Wilson outranks by
much every one ele who will be nt the
Peace Conference. There will be men nt
the conference, no doubt, as able men
tally as the President, but there will be
no one so big.
Hut publicity Is going to be u big factor
In the pc-ai e Conference. And Northcliffe
U the greatest publicity man the world has
ever .,en He has taken a great American
Invention and developed It ten times fur
ther than any American ever dreamed of
developing It. In the Times he hns a won
derful publicity organ such as Is Impossi
ble In our country, which does not enter
anywhere. No city In America Is as much
of America 'is London Is of Hngland. And
no newspaper In America can speak for
or to the whole nation as the Times can
... .....1 f.. ITni-luin! .Inst as tho Tlmeu
k lu leu' " -- -' -...,,..
onco made Do lllowltss the greatest cor
respondent lu the worm, inmost me equal
of n prime minister In Kuiopean diplomacy,
no It has made. Northcliffe something
stronger tlun a government, and now It
..ii in msko him the publicist mi.
preme of the federated nations of the world,
FOOD FOR THOUGHT, ANYHOW UR
h .'v ' nj if ,ii Mfffs&vvf T,,f7.ij.r').-M.Jr?- iTsriatiwf.'jf.p I'l iW'ji i i!l!.wtfi!inM:',)iV 3 1 rvv.
; .-M mil "--- Vif ' :i m j wip: ' W
v!pt I'l- x&ytf-k , r ' " i il li fife ' . 1
THE CHAFFING DISH
Abou Hen Woodrow
A HOC HKN WOODROW (may his tribe
. Increase!)
Awoke one night from u deep dream of
peace,
And saw, among the gifts piled on tho floor
(Making the room look like a department
store),
An Angel writing in a book of gold.
Now much applause had made Hen Wood
row bold
And to the Presence in the room said he,
"Qu'eit-cc que e'est que en que tu cc.rUt"
Or. In plain Kngllh. "May I not Inquire
What wrltcst thou?" The Angel did not
tiro
Hut kept on scribing. Then It turned Its
head
(All Kurope could not turn Pen Wood
row's head!)
And with a xolco almost ns sweet as
Creel's
Answered: "The names of those who
grease the wheels
Of pi ogress nnd have never, never blun-
dcred."
lien Woodrow lay quite still, and sadly
wondered.
"And Is mine one?" he epierlcd. "Nay.
not so,"
P.eplied the Angel. Woodrow spoke more
Hut cheerlv still, nnd In his May 1 nottlng
l-'ashlon he said: "Of conrfe oti may be
rotting.
Hut even if you are, may I not then
Ho writ as one that loves his fellow men?
Do that for me. old chap; Just that; that
merely
And I nm jours, cordially nnd slntcrely.
Tho Angel wrote, and vanished like a
mouse.
Next night returned (accompanied by
House)
And showed the names whom love of
Peace had blest,
And lo! Hen Woodrow's name led all the
rest!
When a man appears In court, no matter
what he is v.caring, he Is always said to
be "nattily dressed" or "Jauntily attired."
The Depot HriRade
IWKNT to join the army. I thought 'twas
mighty fine
To be a goiy hero In the very front line,
To mess around with hand grenades
'twould be amazing fun
To Jab a hungry bayonet Into a howling
Hun;
To get my right arm shot in two and lose
my eagle eye.
And hang my spinal column on the barbed
wire fence to dry.
King Ceorge would come to greet me and
take me back to mighty
And Pin a colored ribbon on my pretty
little nighty;
Then when tho war was over, with all my
deeds bewilderlr.',
I'd scare Into conniption flt my children's
children's children.
A SI) so I came to Kunston the weather
. went to zero,
And underneath the shower .bath I hardly
looked a hero.
They stuck me In the kitchen, I mounted
guard all night,
And I was such nn Ichabod my clothes
they looked a fright.
I scrubbed the hall a dozen times and
finished up the floor;
Tho corporal, he enme along and bald,
"Now scrub rome more."
They bawled me out at reveille, they nagged
me at retreat,
24, low vmm
They made remarks I really think I'd bet
ter not repe-at;
Hut worst of all their Insults alas, the
sorry trade
They turned at last and stuck nie In the
depot brigade,
MXiAV all the friends I ever had went
' fighting Huns In Prance,
They raised Old tllnry to the winds In
Pershing's great advance.
They died In Herman dug-outs, they gave
their lives to save
Some other wounded fellow from n muddy
Flanders giave.
They swept like eagles through the sky
nnd won the cross of war.
Their youth was like a flaming sword, their
fate a falling star.
Hut I'm still here In Funston God knows
how long I'll stny,
I search the printed list of dead with
growing dread each day,
l'or when the war Is over and all of his
tory made,
Thej'U say, "He stayed In Funston In tho
depot brigade."
PVT. WILLARD WATTLHS.
Lin nUrlien Papier'.'
The war embalmed a number of tlcrrnan
Idioms, such as t,purlos tcrsenkt, llaispe
sit n a and Kamnadl It seems curious to
us that the German version of the earliest
and most Important of all has never come
to us. "A scrap of paper" what was the
German of Hollweg's phrase? Does any
body know'.'
Desk Mottoes
The Time needs heart 'tis tired of head . . .
Vainly might Plato's head revolve It:
Plainly the licit t of a child could solve it.
Sidney Lanier,
Fourteen points on a paper scrap,
Yo ho ho and a League of Nations!
I'ray that there may be no mishap,
Yo ho ho and n League of Nations!
Trials of a President Traveling Abroad
10 a.m. Arrive at railway station. Wei
corned by King nnd Queen, Hut on head.
Umbrella left hand. Gloves on,
10:01 Right glove off (hastllj) Into left
hand. Hat off (right hand). Umbrella
hanging on left arm.
10:02 Right glove Into left pocket Hat
to left hand. Shake hands with King.
10:03 Shake hands with Queen. Left glove
off to receive flowers. Umbrella to right
hand. .
10:04 Shako hands with Prlmo Minister.
Left glove In left hi.n. Umbrella back
to left hand. Flowers In left hand. Hat
In left hand.
10:03 Knter King's can luge. Try to drop
flowers under carriage unobserved. For
elicit Minister picks them up with gal
lant remark.
10:06 Shake hands with Foreign Minister.
In his emotional foreign manner ho In
sists on taking both handr. Quick work:
Umbrella to right elbow, gloves left
pocket, ha under right t.rni, flowers to
right pocket.
10:08 Received h Lord Mayor, who offers
freedom of tho city In golden casket.
Casket In left hnnd. Lord Mnor In rlKlit
hand, Queen on left arm, unibrc.la on
right arm, flowers ami r 'oves bursting
from pockets, hat (momentarily) on head.
10:10 Delegation uf stntesnen. States
men In right hand Hat, umbrella,
gioves, rung, now era casKet In left hand,
Situation getting complicated,
10:15 Ceremonial reception
Mother. Getting confused. Queen Mother
In left pocket, umbrella jti head, gloves
on right hand, hat In left hand. King on
head, flowers In trousets pocket. Casket
under left arm.
10:17 Complete collapse. Failure of the
League of Nations.
SOCRATES.
livery Power dedi
cated to a League of
Nations means the
Always
We .XI imt Pay
surrender of a na
tional right on tile part of the signatory
nations. This isn't nearly as terrible ns It
sounds, livery step man has taken toward
civilisation has demanded such surrender. A
willingness to part with a certain amount of
Initiative will make for the peace of the
world. It Is with the nation as It Is with
the Individual. Smith surrenders his right
to manhandle Ilrown when he feels like It
because he realizes Urown may Join with
Jones and do him up. So Jones, Drown and
Smith consult with Robinson and the rest
and formulate the law relating to assault
and battery and enforce It against all
offenders The lesi-on la rapidly being learned
by the .voung mutilated ollicers of the Italian
army. Judging from a recent statement of
CSuKllelmo Ferrero, vice president of the Ital
ian committee on the League of Nations. The
spirit of Imperialism may hover over fron
tier lines, but the spirit of sacrifice has a
broader vision. Tho men who have fought
now desire that their sacrifices Bhall benefit
all humanity. Who can doubt that with
such sentiments a satisfactory settlement
can be made of all vexed questions that agi
tate the world?
There Is hopeful augury In the Cabinet
crisis In Rome. It rnny mean realliAtlon
that the fulfillment of a treaty founded on
emergency may possess more dangers than
advantages.
Nobody will find fault with Congress for
leaving the matter of army organization to
Its successor. In the meantime the country
may have made up Its mind as to Just what
It wants.
The secretary of the Federation of
Labor predicts that we shall have bread
lines here- before May 1, and suggests that
Immigration be prohibited for four ears. lie
Is probably unduly pmslmlstlc hut he may
console himself with the knowledge that If
his prediction comes true ids suggestion may
be followed.
What Do You Know?
J
QUIZ
I. UllFll l SI.
Sullliln Iev nii.l what I, h.
Miifrtltliin rnnnre led
with It "
:. VVIirre Is 1'rlliren l.linil. where the lare
(nnerrs. has ,knl Ihe rriirr.rntntltf. ef
II,- lyloii- lliisshin i-oifrnnimts ,o "
3. tvii t to'stlon wus iiiIeon II
Iron 1?
to Nnpn-
' " pn'stlreioT """""lnt vni orl8ln of t'" "
3. Will Amerlriiii i.ritnr enil llti i.in was
known us the "l.lltle tiUnt"? I""''n "
. Wl-.il rlt. lire aiias of II. silk Industries. ,
known ns the "taenia nf America."?
,. Wlutt U nn annulet?
Hf "lYAolu't.Jn?1" "'""l""," f Ihe Treneh
"' "'.'.'ViVimuVuV1'"' ,rl""1 ln"""t llh,
III. Whut l the iltrcstorj of a rallirelrul?
Answers to Yesterday's QuU
I. (Iiist.iv .ilnr N I'rrsldsnt of Swltierland,
'.J. The Hrat three American snldlers to die nn
lie Mill of rrunre n the. war were I'rl.
vulm hnrliiht. t.rr.lmni and lla.
3. Some half million people out of tr,,, four
million In Ireland run siieiik Gaelic,
4. Mhnirsotiv Is the "(iophrr Mute."
8. 'Ihe eirriinn "Kern Homer nods" mnr ho
triecM hack to u line li- llor.re, "("an!
iloiiiie Ihiiiu dornillut llniiierus'' (Kierl
uurtli) Homer iioilsi. ir.te
0. Hie route of the m-iln line nf Ihe rorarn.
mrnt rullnji In .L.ka I. fr..niAe"yr0!:
Ilrsiirrerllon Hay to ralrhanks. on 'th!
lunanie lllier. u dUtmteet of 411 miles
1. anr irrirni I unirrns Is lh Sllll.tlfll,
H. Ahraliani Lincoln was the first, Amerla.,"'
I'resldrnl to wear a full beard. 'm.,r5,
0. MrofKdwHriMliiwrr.tattuii wrote. e'The l.d
....! II , - -.- -.
111. (iorthe. the rreat I
figure
of derma n Ihrrsv
w turjaSFjs iartleiilari aotlatr,i
s-r
art I
ntr
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Pk "mH,n Herd there for m
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