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EVENING' PUBLIC' LEDGElMjmLA.Di5LPBiA, F1JIDAY, . OCTOBER 11, MS
rr
. .
9 public HeDget
EVENING TELEGRAPH
1I1LIC LEDGER COMPANY
1118 It. K. CUIITIS. PIDENT
n. I-udlnc ton, vice President; Jfthn C.
fetarv anil Trnlulvri 1'hlllnM. f-nllihs.
vllllams, John J. Bpumeon. Directors.
EDlTOntAt. llOAIlt)!
Crsts It K. Ccbtis. Chairman
IDK. SMtLET
Editor
C. MAHTIN ...Ucneral Iiualnesa Stanaser
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nuv I.omlon rtmes
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ErCMMO I'rsLtrt Leimi&s 1m aerel In sub-
rs In Philadelphia and aurroundltiK towns
rata 01 iweivt u-l runs per wecK. paniie
carrier.
mall to points outside of Philadelphia, In
ilea piaies. Canada, or t nue.1 smtca iis-
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t alee old aa well as new address.
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V
PHUsdelphls. Irld.T, (JHol.fr 11. 11
p Kir,
7vH3Ik
1-35J,"
S ZONE SYSTEM TOR DOCTORS
w fpitE shortage In physicians, combined
' 'IWlth tlie demand for them to treat the
wSlultlplylng cases of crip. Jusilfles Health
' JWrector Krusen's suggestion that those
milles whlcli need medlc-ii help should
eU.tn the doctor neurest to their homes.
'.JThU Involves a radical departure In
jwactlce. It Involves, too, the IgnorliiK of
,ih old-fashioned professltnal etlquetto
'"whlcli makes a physician relJctant to take
.-;;th patients of a colleague. But thli ctl
.';tte is Ignored In emergencies, when a
"jifiyslclan has to he called In without delay.
- vTIie present cmerBency Is Krave enoush
'-,'jlt Justify dlsrcpard of all precedents which
r Interfere with the most clllclent use of the
medical talent of the city. There Is no
!.'estIon that a physician ran make more
eftlls in a given time within a radius
.' ef a mile of his ofllcc than In a
.rtdius of five miles. x A West I'hlla-
delphla doctor summoneu to Ccrman-
j Ijenn wastes valuable time, and u (.lerman-
',.;'tewn physician called to South I'hllndel-
phia could visit half u dozen patients near
.'kofne In tho time that would ho spent visit.
lug one so far nway. No nrgument is
-necessary to prove tills. What the nf
Ulcted people need Is medical attendance
vsMa not the attendance of a particular med-
JI5?5. man. The physicians arc all Good,
. 4tven though It must be adml.lel that sotno
ro better than others; but the treatment
it. srlp Is ptetty well standardized and they
Ml, know what to do. By all means adopt
( t zono system so far as may be piuc--Hrcable.
.Some thine altogether different from the
ilk' ot Human kkidness" will bo sold at
rteen cents a quart.
A'
! Tf
PROFITEERING DE LUXE
r"WOULD be interesting to know what
. magic reacted on oranges which .sold
;af few days ago at slxty-flvo cents a dozen
to, make them worth a dollar and a half
tlM) r&te fiskod In mnnv unrts nt this ritv
' "sresterdav.
7
-The price of this essential sick-room
,, requisite doubled as the demand Increased
'l Because of tho needs of countless persons
irho are gravely 111. No more brutal prof.
,'lteerlng has been revealed bo far In any
Jart ot the United States.
.; The situation Is of only pusslui; im
portance, and yet It demands the instunt
ltentlon of Mr. Ilclnz, whose authority as
,feoa administrator gives him the power
sVasUstsOaC fa 1V 4 Vl C Ofll Mla rf tllrt anllrn .in ti
jly',of oranges If such a step Is deemed
sWgeseary to the good of the community.
f(Few people can afford to buy oranges at
, if; dollar and a half a dozen. Those who
'lim've Jockeyed with the price of this ncccs
'ty.have manifested a lieartlts.sness that
vltes tor them the most relentless sort
C. treatment by tho food administration.
H Pi The German peace idea seems to have
."en decidedly a "uuesticmable" aff.iii
y- -
iffH NOT YET, BUT SOON
THE report that the KaUer has abdl
..ated, which contlnueH to circulate In
i Ofcirepe, is merely premature.
.- P.w.wq. v .v.... ...,b j ,,,-t UllllllUlf
IxUcatlon as surely as It points to the
at.of his armies. Ills people have not
rgettcn his boast that, although Alexun-
Caesar and Napoleon had failed in
AMstfrlr nlanx in ninlfn n nutl.t cvttiln l.n
; fV)& succeed by virtue of his mailed list.
'. .Tjkhen he falls beyond the possibility of
"jfcovery there will be an end to Hohen-
. liUTilsm, and let us hope to the dream
,,'..sr'orld dominion by any mad creature
lho thinks that brute force can rule the
'jrtBrid and tramplo upon tho sense of right.
v t unds lending at homo bring Huns bend-ilf"8bruad-
-je
"r.
s'men -who are not slackers
J viz. vi imu most spienuiu mumrestations
,ef the war spirit is found in the dread
ClHCn Incapacitated for military service
t, they may be called slackers by those
are of their Incapacities.
t-ery man wants to do what he can
i hold himself in readiness to respond
call when It comes. Tho men with
Jents are sometimes m eager that
"Will Ignore their obligations to euro for
.families In order that they may get
uniform and escape the odium of
em. '
traen yield to mistaken zeal. The
of the selective draft is to ex-
uch from direct military service
I'leave the way open for them to
essential war Industries. No man
rr essential war work of any kind
leer. He may be providing recrta-
i education for the soldiers, but de Is
what Is necessary. And men pliysi.
pieapable of bearing arms are by tho
neueed In Juit that kind of work.
na attaches to them even though
tatternal appearances they may be
the men in uniform. They
Vktt eiptainlB their iaca-
"THE RIGHT THING"
Soinc Observations on Grip anil Telephone,
War, Soldiers and the Aer
age Citizen
VfOT long ago n Gcrmnn army captnin,
' ' who hntl examined tho first Ameri
can prisoners taken in France, reported
to Ilia overlords that vc, lis n people,
were impossible quite! He had been
regarded with the utmost insolence by
a youthful infantrymun, who was
brought to him under guard. Obviously
Americans wore undisciplinedt Ho had
nsked about the number of Americans on
n particular sector. "Ask Pershing,"
snid the p oldicr. The captive was pressed
to tell why he and his comrades entered
the war with such enthusiasm. "It's per
fectly simple," said the young man fiom
America. "We merely want to do the
right thing!" ,
The German division stuff was in
formed that "tho Americans did not
know why they were in tho wur." The
intelligence officer of the Huns couldn't
understand tho meaning of "the right
thing." The simple creed cmboaicd in
that epic sentence of American slang
its splendor and its universal incluaive
nefs was beyond him.
Is it in their reverence for "the light
thing" that democracies are ultimately
triumphant?
Here in Philadelphia, b'ecause of the
confusion of war and epidemic, the aver
age citizen is being tried out much less
harshly than his younger brotheis-in-hcart
overseas. He, too, so far as he
is being tested, is showing a patient de
votion to the right thing that serves
somehow to stimulate faith in all the
processes of democracy.
Your average citizen is experiencing a
lot of new sensations. His movies have
been cut off. He has been told that he
mustn't go to the theatre. He has been
severed for an indefinite period from his
cocktail if ho huppens to bo one of the
sort that mingles with cocktails. Ho isn't
permitted to go to church. Ho cannot
have enough sugar in his tea. He has
been told to put away his motorcar on
Sundays and to invest all his spare
money in Liberty Bonds. Ho has been
taxed, taxed again and retaxed. He has
moved placidly backward in an atmos
phere of resignation and formaldehyde
to the conditions of his youth, when ho
was poor, and when self-denial was his
portion. He has given up his sons and
he has been left often in great loneliness
or greater grief. Yet he has never once
been heard to utter a complaint.
-Now he lifts up his telephone and gives
a call number and a gentle voice asks:
"Is this call absolutely necessary?" Your
average citizen hesitates and replies, as
often as not: "No. I only wanted to talk
to a man about golf clubs. I'll wait."
"Thank you," says tho far voice. How
those girls maintain their patience and
their good manners in times like these
is beyond understanding. The average
girl and tho average woman know what
is meant by "the right thing."
The citizen who couldn't telephone
saya no more. He will realize dimly that
the voice ho heard was not a girl's voice,
but the voice of his own intelligence,
made audible and authoritative by tho
social and administrative system which
he has cicated out of his own desires.
Later along he may decide to go out to
the club in his automobile to arrange
about the g,olf clubs. But he hears that
at some hospital or other there are tired
nursing sisters who need fresh airNaftcr
eighteen hours of vigil in tho wards. So
he offers his car to them instead and lets
the golf clubs wait fixing.
It used to be said that democracies
were not only inefficient, but cruel. Those
who were clever at that sort of patter
often tried to prove that men who lived
under free government lacked social con
sciousness that the democratic citizen,
so long as he was well fed and warmed
and housed, cared nothing about the
troubles of his neighbor in tho next
house.
Can that ever bo said again of Amer
ica or France or England, who have so
wonderfully endured for "the right
thing"? Is it a love of "the right thing"
that differentiates us from the Germans?
As the average citizen hero and abroad
has gone along cheerfully, asking no ques
tions, making no complaints, he is serv
ing "the right thing," which, in this in
stance, is the common good of human
ity in the house next door, in the hos
pital around the corner, in France or in
Belgium. It isn't for a theory of gov
ernment, but for "the right thing" that
men have done heroic things without the
pretense of heroism. For this they have
fought in the air or marched into the
fno and been wounded or killed.
The principle seems to have been un
known in Germany. If the Germans had
known what an American soldier meant
when he said he. was "in the war merely
because.he wanted to do tho right thing,"
Germany might not "now be watching a
half-mad emperor wailing his prayers of
desperation amid the ruins of a nation
that has broken under the weight of a
world's hatred.
If the 1'renIdent'H mind were a little
niorf( dehiscent Just now the Senators would
not be so greatly excited over his reply to
rrince Max.
THEY'LL GET HIM YET
THC pursuit of the Mayor continues, for
the action Just brought by It. Francis
Wood to prevent the payment of his salary
to Oudehus, the Mayor's supervisor of
recreation, 13 but the latest move in the
effort to bring Mr. Smith to the bar of the
court to answer for his conduct.
It Is charged In the complaint that
(ludehus was appointed without warrant
of luw If he were so appointed then he
cannot be, paid with warrant of law. Tho
disbursing olllcers of the city are to be
asked to defend the appointment or to
. te Illegality, If it Is Illegal, then
Jparth
. fCO0l
tlon Hoard clear to tho Mayor who Btarted
tho plot, liavo violated tho law and are
liable to some form of punishment.
There Is a prima faclo case of the vio
lation of tho law. It ls possible (hat the
expert lawyers for the derenso may llnd a
way out for their clients. Hut whether
they do or not there is not tho slightest
doubt that the Mayor has flagrantly dis
regarded tho wholo purpose and Intent of
tho statute tecjulrlng tho appointment of
tho supervisor of iceroatlon from an cllgl
hlo list properly made up without regal d
lj thu political pull of any of tho men
whoso names appeared on It. The wholo
machinery ot the Civil Service Commission
and of tho Recreation, Hoard was manipu
lated In the Interest of a speclllc candidate.
This Is admitted by tho Mayor. Indeed,
ho litis come llttlu short of boasting of It.
IIo has been so frank about what he
did that It will surprise no one who has
confidence in the courts If they get him
yet.
Ti.iels with a Donkey" hiking back
home with Lmlendorff.
THE HUT IN WASHINGTON
rpHESU me trying times for everybody.
They arc most trying for those In poM
tlous of lesponslblllty at Washington
Harsh criticism is to bo expected. It Is
one of the sine Indications ot national
tensity and general earnestness. And jet
we are disposed to feel that the militant
suffragists permitted themselves some
slight exaggeration when they jcportwl
that President Wilson, in a private Inter
view with them, spoke "sarcastically" ot
tho Senato because of the Senate's refusal
to pass tho Susan II. Anthony amendment.
Mr. Wilson Is too Judicious to turn sar
casm on the Senate, even In a private con
versation. He may have expressed dis
appointment or even Irritation. Hut that
Is a dlffcicnt matter altogether. The inel
dent serves to draw attention again to
tho novel rift between tho executive and
tho legislative brandies of the Govern
ment. It is a picturesque situation due
altogether to tho nervous tension of the
hour. It will not last.
There have been times when Mr. Wilson
Ins seemed to feel that he was tho Con
gress, And theto have been Senators and
Congressmen who have appealed to feel
at times that the President was super
fluous. On tho whole, the President has
liMson to have a pretty good opinion of
Congress. Congress certainly has teusons
without number to have a good opinion of
tho President. When they cease to differ
nt nil points the processes essential to
democratic government will cease to ho.
On both sides there have been ctrors
and misunderstandings, as there have al
ways been and will be among men. Hut
Congress Is earnest. The President's earn
estness is unquestioned, 'uotvvcon them,
despite their occasional failures and grum
bling, they huvo done wonderful tilings.
They have demonstrated superbly tho
validity of democratic theory. They have
shown that a free government can have
Idealism, force, vision and efficiency and
a nobility of aim heretofore undreamed in
history.
The Government and hy the Govern
ment we mean tho wholo organism at
Washington, in which party issues are al
most completely forgotten did wonderfully
well in rousing an easy-going nation from
diovvsy contentment to the performance
of miracles. This sort of thing Involves
nervous stress, liven Presidents and Sen
ators aien't perfect. Yet It Isn't easy to
Imagine a President saying sarcastic
things about the Senate to inn audience ot
private citizens.
The President and Congress will get
along It they aren't rushed and lrr.tated
too constantly by men and women inter
ested in side Issues. It isn't necessary to
have a commission of mediation to act be
tween them. They have done their work
and they have done It well, Iff accordan-o
with tho rules of government vvhk-'. t'.ie
present war has proved bei '. for mankind.
Now is the time when "loanllncss"
phalically means co-operation.
USHERING OUT AN EMPEROR
pitOIJABLY there is no one In the civil--
lzed world or In Germany who hasn't
wondered at tome time .recent! About
what is to be done ultinr.tely with tho
German Hmpcrnr. Hatching schemes for
the lilting disposal of the Flist Hun has
come to he one of the most fashlonablo of
indoor sports.
Strangely enough, Wilhelm himself has
Inttoduced to the vvorld an appalling va-'
rlety of tortures. Having pract ced kultur,
he will go to his grave without ever know
ing how kultur feels when you meet it in
tho dark. That Is one of '.he Ironies of
the war. If the Allies were to apply .to
the Kaiser some ot his own methods civil
ized opinion would be outraged, of course,
and yet the law of compensation would
but follow Its normal course.
Thus WW elm, Instead of being exiled,
might be put In u trench, wounded and
gassed to death. He might bo stood up
before a squad of flame-thtowera.- He
might be mutilated, like the children of
Belgium, or crucllled on a barn door as
Canadian soldiers were crucllled by his
men. He mlitlit be shot and left to die
of fever in the open.
liven theso methods of torture seem
relatively humano when considered with
other barbarities devised with Wllhelm's
consent. Tho German Government warned
the British early In the wur that tho hunt
ing of submarines by warships masked as
tramps would not bo tolerated. The hunt
went on. Finally a submarine caught a
small gunboat that had had the look of n
helpless coaster betoie she unmasked sud
denly and opened fire. MoH of the crew
were chained to the submarine's deck rulls;
coveted with purauine and set on fire. As
they buined tho U-boat chcled around a
lifeboat 111 which Jive uf tho crew were
left alive. Tho survivors wero Instructed
to row home und tell their Government
what had happened.
The price of milk has gone up one cent,
but the unfortunato public has grown so
stoical these days that no one has whim
pered. There would be prostrations, how
ever, If any one heard of prices of anything
going down.
The battered German line suegents that
the Americans' reputation as "dentists" was
thoroughly well deserved.
It seems permissible to rate the WlUon-
lan "inquiry" aa a tt of tastineea,
SebbbSsbbbbbbbbbbbsSbsbvm 'I JsKBiBKhiliallBZ
RHYMES OF THE TIMES
I'rom Voems of All Homes
riHANCELLOR, Chancellor, what have
you done?
I've written n letter to Washington.
Chancellor, Chancellor, what did they
there ?
They sent me a frightfully frank ques
tionnaire. "DEACE porridge meek,
Peaco porridge bold,
Peace porridge made of check
Soon grows cold,
rpO PARIS to Paris to steal a fat loot
Home again, home again, jiggcty-
scoot!
To Cambrai, to Cambrai to launch a last
drive;
Home ugain, home again, hardly alive!
rpHERE were two blackbirds sitting on
X n hill,
One named Karl, the other named Bill.
Cry away, Karl! Cry away, Bill!
Snivel on, Karl! Snivel on, Bill!
"WILLIAM KAISER, lately wiser,
How does your urmy grow?
With bodies fleet and each retreat
Not as I willed it so,
pATTLE their bones,
" Three thieves on three thrones!
And who do you think they bo?
Two Kaisers, a Sultan,
Who's far from exultin'
Turn them out, knaves all three!
fpHERE was an old mossback who lived
in the past;
He had so many soldiers ho thought they
would last.
He dressed them up stiffly, stuffed lies in
each head,
Hut Foch whipped them" soundly and
filled them with lead.
T'LL tell you no lie sir.
Proud William, the Kaiser
And now my story's begun.
I'll tell you the sequel.
He's learned how to shriek well
And now my story's most done.
TJAPLESS HINDY heaped a hoard of
hindering hejRes,
A hoard of hindering hedges hapless
Hindy heaped.
But though hapless Hindy heaped a hoard
of hindering hedges,
Where's tho hoard of hindering hedges
hapless Hindy heaped?
II. T. C.
Little Studies in Words
HUMANITARIAN.
VTINH persons out of ten who wish to
speak of tho work of the hospitals
and of tho Red Cross Society and of gen
eral relief enterprises will refer to them
as humanitarian Instead of philanthropic.
Why they should prefer a word that comes
from the Latin to one that comes from the
Greek It would bo foolish to speculate.
There probably is no conscious reason, but
simply an Instinct for variety. ,
But humanitarian does not really mean
philanthropic. The word for centuries had
a peculiar ecclesiastical meaning and de
scribed the doctrine of the ht'manltv cf
Christ and tho negation of His divinity.
It dates back to the fcecond century, when
Theodotus of Byzantium, sometimes callel
tho Tanner, was excluded from the
church by Victor, the Roman pontiff, be
cause after denying Christ In a time of
persecution ho defended himself by saying
that ' ho had denied not God but man."
He was historically the lirst humanitarian.
The word is also applied to the disciples of
Saint Simon and to those who believo in
the perfectibility of human nature without
divine help.
Somo loose thinker In tho latter third uf
tho last tenuity, believing that works ot
humanity could be described by the ad
Jective humanitarian, u word whose mean
ing he had rever looked into, used it In
this bastard sense. It began to creep into
books and newspapers In this sense, until
Fitzedward Hall In his "Modern English,"
published in 1S73, indorsed it as a word of
"wider scope than philanthropic" and
"pregnant with deeper significance." Hall
was born In Troy, N. Y In 1825. nnd went
tu Harvard, but before he had finished his
course he sailed for India to find a run
away brother. He studied Sanskrit there
and taught In one of the Indian colleges.
Later ho went to London, where ho be
came examiner in Sanskrit Jn the civil
service, and It was In Iondon that this
American published his book Indorsing the
secular use of a word which was originally
confined to theological discussions.
Language, however, grows In this way.
Obnoxious, fcr example, means exactly t-.o
opposite, today from what it meant when
Milton used It. An obnoxious man or an
obnoxious act nowadays Is one which is
offensive or repulsive, whereas In M.Iton's
time an obnoxious man was one who was
exposed to that which was offensive or
repulsive. Tho word really means exposed
or liable to harm, and not harmful,
. W. D.
.
Quick Change
One of the .German u-glmcnts opposite the
Americans, the members of which are, by
this time, probably listed as "missing, j,e.
llcved prisoners." had Just been paid wlion
the cuttahi went down on their activity In
la guerre.
Exactly forty-eight hours after the Ger
mans marched before their paymaster and
got their pay. they marched before an Amer
ican officer, who relieved them of the mod
est collection of marks, pfennings and other
things they had received. Paris stais and'
Stripes.
- -
Straw Ga for Motorcars
Even with a lonir series of gasollneless
Sundays we shall probably not see here In
"the East any extensive use of straw gas.
In western Canada the Use of straw gas for
operating motorcars has lately been demon
Btrated Humxnded above the cap i a i.i-
roon-llke b holding 30 cubic feet: of ra.
iuwi raj vgs-w sKiiuii tfi ajaio
0&K f set Of , hist
;i
-
" '' "" ! fff -7"TTT--? rTtirSflarrTl h arS7ia m sssffti,-'afsf sssWIsssHaKlsWlas'
" "? m0 ,t 1 wit -satt' .I 17, t? ilsiijsjP-sLiisjI? t; f ft. 'Jt ffchJJVT?sf 1 V it jnljiT 2 ft V ." l
- sarfegs-icg!! .,
' '' '' " "
' . 1
GOING AND COMING
By BART HALEY
GEORGE'S HILL
T5ELOW lay the town,
- Dark wreaths on her head,
Content with her toll.
And tho thoughts of her dead.
Black-plumed nnd veiled was she
Maker of doom.
1'atlent and passionate.
Bent to her loom!
Nothing sctmod left
Ot the tilings that are fair
When, a turbulent song
Was filing down from tho' air.
A golden-winged battlcpiano
Flushed In the skies
Llko a btcm parent
Of all butterflies. x
.
With a thundering cioon,
With t. silvery gleam,
(Like u bit of tho moon
Broken off In a dream)
Sho walked in the sky,
Fxall terror of kings,
And sang to herself
As she tested her wings!
And her wings were of flame
In tho cool tides of light
As she vanished and came
In her Indolent flight.
And arrow-like mounted
Each ladiant slope
Quicker than wishes and
Surer than hope!
Sprung from the dust and grime
Vlcsscd hy immortal fire
Slvtcr of truth and time
Hlmlol of man's desire!
The War in Berlin
(.Vooii Communique)
AGAIN the glorious German arnishave
-triumphed. Our men In the Picardy sec
tors have again beaten all the pig dogs
and devil hounds of the British and Ameri
can nrmles In a flvg-mlle rearward dash
and have captured tho nonstop record for
foot speed. ,
Many casualties are announced In tho
enemy forces.,' Several hundred soldiers
of tho Americans died horribly of laughter
and others were put out 3f action lu vari
ous ways In fruitless attempts to keep up
with the armies of tho fatherland as they
proceeded magnificently to retire.
EMM
En
MMALINE Is a frlond of ouis.
mmallne is young and she has blue
eyes and an eager disposition. When Bhe
heard of an airplane that recently flew
from London to Paris carrying a full-sized
upright piano Emmallne was stirred pro
foundly. A conviction that had longtAb
sesscd her, she said, was now Justified.
She suld It had made her blood boll -to see.
ho everybody tolled aijd schemed and
plotted to make life cheerful for the boys
In tho trenches and the boys in the navy
without ever giving a thought to the lonely
airmen.
Emmallne has given thought to the.
lonely airmen.
It pleased her intensely to know that
some pno had been thoughtful enough to
give them a piano,
"'It Is better late than never,' s the
man said," said Emmallne. "Surely," she
urged, her blue eyes shining, "the aviators
must havo long and lonely hours In tho
upper ulr, miles above the world, when'
there is no fighting to'tlo and when they
could pass the time with cheerful music.
Orffanoy an .4mmm WjUMK. W" .
"P-SS-T! GANGWAY!!"
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fell to tho earth In flames! Could anything
bo more seemly?"
Tho idea of music In the airplanes had
never occurred to Emmallne before. But
now the idea has taken hold of her with an
iron grip. She has done a lot of telephon
ing. She Is organizing her friends nt the
rate of ten a day Into a new soldier uplift
organization. She has evolved a great
slogan with which to appeal to tho world
at largo in order that one of the best
branches of the service shall not longer bo
neglected by those who wish to make tho
lives of soldiers easier. The slogan Is to
bo put on posters and spread broadcast.
It will read llko this:
Help the Boys in the Air!
A PIAXO IN EVERY AIRPLANE
For Sale
A COLLECTION ot old clothes suitable for
amateur theatilcals; cloaks, swords,
sabers (self-rattling); crowns, medals and
decorations of various metals that will bo
disposed of by the pound.
Also a vast quantity of goods In various
lines Hlndenburg, AVotan and Siegfried
varieties that have been damaged by fire
and water.
Closing out! Some remnants of family
honor that will be disposed of to the high
est bidder!
W. HOHENSSOLLERN & SON, Berlin.
Situations Wanted
TTtATHEH and son, qualified 'for work in
; a gas house or In an abattoir or as
circus press agents.
Address W. II., Lokal Anzclger, Berlin.
TS THIS an absolutely necessary call?"
- murmurs the telephone girl every time
you lift the receiver nowadays.
We used to suppose that tho telephone
companies had efficiency down to a fine
science. Wo were wrong.
Ninety-nine out of every hundred tele
phone calls are not absolutely necessary.
A man who has the proverbial faith In the
newspaper press called us yesterday to as1
when George Washington had his first
shave. Wo told him, too. But obviously
he might have dropped In to put the query
personally.
It is probable that CO per cent of the
telephone culls are made by young men In
love, who ring up to renew their acquaint
ance with young ladles whom they haven't
seen for hours und hours, Then there are
the men who ask you whether you'd like
to go to the theatre or for a Joy ride. This
practice makes for unnecessary wear and
tear on the wires.
If there wero no telephones most people
would do the old-fashioned thing and take
the obvious for granted.
$. Loan, Lustiness ,
Our llmt LlSerty Loan was for ?2, 000,000.
000, It was oversubscribed 1,000,000,000.
Our second Liberty Loan was for 3, 000, 000,.
000, but 17,000,000 wanted bonds and so
J,n0,019,650 worth of bonds were sold. The
fourth Liberty Loan began September 28 and
will close October 19. It Is for 16,000,000,
000, This sounds like a stupendous amount,
and )et tho resources of our banks at this
time equal nearly seven times this amount.
If we lived In Germany we might well fear
that (he country could never pay back such
sums ot money, before the war Oermany
was worth 110,000,000,000. She la now In
debt 130,000,000,000. Amerlea la worth about
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New York's Suffragists
and Human Nature
TT IS better to travel than to arrive,"
said Stevenson. Tho women of New
York, whose indifference about registering
for tho first election in which they may
exercise their new franchise privilege lfas
refuted all recent political "dope," seem to
agree with him. .
Certainly tho strugglo for the ballot was
Inspiriting. SulTrugo campaigners, enthu
siastic propagandists, feminist chieftain
esses, dauntless committees and subcom
mittees, mistresses of tho arduous art of
exhortation and ingenious press agents
swept through tho Empire State with tho
prido and courage of Zcnobia. Thrills and
glory wero in the. uphill impetus. On the
crest, debllo hands leave tho lam els of
victory unplucked, Ballots are to be had
by all New York adults this autumn for
the asking. At tlie present rutef of regis
tration many women will leave them un
claimed. It is most humanly posslblo that If
Ponco do Leon had ever really found the
fountain of youth ho would havo said he
w ain't thirsty.
"I wish to have the
Advice to 3Iur greatest posslblo In-
Jemnltlcs," says Prince
Max, "so that after the wur wo shall not be
too -poor." Alas I Max, If tjioso Imaginary
indemnltles aro all that you are counting on
to support your old ago you had best get out
and hustle for a better job than the chancel
lorship. The principal reason
Walters anil Warers why the AlTres justlfl-
-ably Indulge In flag
waving Is that tho Germans so repeatedly
cannot walvo flagging. '
' The multitudinous de
A lirme CrJals mlses of humbled Hln
denburg aro only nat-'
urat In a land long fumed for Its dyers.
Preliminary Step
"I want to get some Information," said
the tired man with three suit cases."
"Why don't you apply to the bureau ot
Information?"
"I'm working up to that. First I've got to
get Information us to how I can find the
bureau of Information,'' Washington Star.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Murine Herrtlnrr Ilaker'a ab.rnrr ub i. '
W..nhTn.t"onTttC '" ,he W" "wSrlrSfit fc
S "'.'a. p'i.'lir.n.!!pnhrW.rf"tPhe,,:?Ilerr,rir. """"'",
3. What Is the r turret pronunciation of mortra-
4" " i?r?"frlclaTBrt hMe ""k" ' rr" n '
R, Mhat la n totrm pole?
6. Mint re the names of the three l.li. n
jfoi? ' voj"e to America .i
7. VVImt N the niranlnr of Hesperian;
' "united Mates?' ba'Mor '"Went or the ,
0. What Is darU?
10. What are the nollllral rhararlerUtlrs of the
turesV l-'Uropean continental Iriltlu-
Atiswer to Yesterday's Quiz
' 6"i.rld JiffiiV..,';. the Flr,t I-"u ' "
i. Chamnacne Is the chief. wine muiiufartureil
II th?,.a,r.,.t0clt,,n'e f """ Kh""" .
S, The planet .Mum I so, enllnt because r H.
rendli.li hue auscestlvo of Mars, the IUiusii
4, ('alirnrnU t, the second
lulled HUtM.
a.
larirst Nta
to of the
8. Hedonism Is the doctrine that pleasure Is
tho chief food.
6. A fes la a Turkish cap a tssselcd, dull tt4
truncated cone, -
7. Wlr Kdmuml Cartwrisht wa Die reputed
AetMr li ljTtallJtMl M jajvtlal'a la.
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