EVENING PUBLIC LtoaER-PHlLADEfiPHIA; THURSDAY, l SEPTEMBER 19, 1918
CV . f ' w
J
J - "J" j'Vl
sl'M,
!
Bit
BubHclIeDaec
ynEfEmTELEGKATil
.PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
TMJB H. K. CUIITIS, rstaiDKiT
i H. Ludlnrton, Vise President; John C.
M-retarv Anil TrinNF! PMHdH. Collins.
Williams. John J. Spurs eon, Directors.
Jv vnrmntir. nninn
kj - Cutis It. K. Ctnma. Chairman
fcYID E. BMIMST t Editor
C UAnTIN.... General Buslneu Manacer
Pattlshed daily at 1'ciuo I.imm nulldlns.
inaepenaence square, l'nuaacipnia.
I CaimuL Uroed and Cheitnut Street!
nfci CtTT.. ........... . Press- Vn ton nulldtnir
KJYoaK . SOS Metropolitan Tower
T ....., 4us .roru iiuuainc
Cl lOOS Fullerton llulldlnc
a.. 1202 Tribune Dulldlnr
ES J, ' NEWS BUREAUS.
WWHISOTON Dtl,
i,'!" & B. Cor. Pennsylvania Ave. and 14th Bt
V Toas: Buauu.
m. loan
The Sun Bulldlna
. ihmnow bcbuu.
London Times
to
yVv SUBSCRIPTION TERMS
K'lfhoeiseni In Philadelphia and surrounding towns
. at. ah Mt tit tw1vjt M'Jl intt nr weelt. naxabla
SSff -Bf'tnall to' points outside of Philadelphia. In
S ' Wilted States. Canada, or United mutes pos-
ijt ions, pqhibbq tree nny laui iciiib ir iuuhhi.
h Mrl dollars per rear, payable In advance.
Til all forelen countries one ($1) dollar per
Ifjr NOtlcs Subscribers wishing- address changed
y Must (ire old as well as new address.
KM
re r. matt mwi wiiMirr
KEYSTONE. MAIV 3000
I '"J DbMif WV rttJ.l V a
m m Ij... , ........I....,.... f.. l'i ntlitn D.hfl.,
Kj m AoaiTW all tviwnniliin ..... vw. ....,...-...
rl.M 1Anitnf ftnunr-r. I'll ilftlil'lnll Irt .
W .mnjimi. ........, - .
jit Mcmoer oi ine Associaieu rrest
- tTITB ASSOCIATED PItESS Is cxclu-
gy ,ivcij ciiruiea to me use ior Tpuoiicaiion
Lrf ejr ai ncics niapatcnej crrauca tu iv ui im
3 4Wcrte crcrfHed In ft paper, and alo
R me local nctcs published therein.
"iV, AH rlnhti nt mtuhHcatlnn of sneclal dts-
W, patches herein are also reserved.
r &. .' tn.ii. J. f-Lt. TL..UJ.. L..i..t... Id lOlt
( siiuaTipaii, iuuri7i jtjinuiuti art t'iui
ft.' OOT THE SLACKERS OUT OF HOG
K.( ISLAND
P' CHARGES that Incompetent slackers and
-$m
yes
W army shirkers are Imperillns the cm
w! eiency of Hob Island call for drastic
kk.UiO.ulry. If verified the manaRement of
1 the fleet corporation cannot afford to waste
i& An Instant In dismissing the soft-snap
tlL smlii!lata nhncp nitrldnn nrPRPnrp In the
Rtyard at the moment when the expanded
Ct.v-i"-"-""" ' -
Pv-draft law is operative proclaims them as
j not only dlsiojal, but as Intolerably
fjt ,Tho Influence of such men on their
y rellow 'norkcrs can oe poisonous ana
!tV ubtle. Already the rate of process In
Ej the yard is said by General SlanaKcr I'iez
Vy to have been ureatlv reduced. Baseball
IS slackcr8.or clergymen, poolroom loafers,
;t weu-orr cravens or common -oums inese
4anger-brecdinff employes must fro.
The progress of the greatest shlpmaklng
t7 plant In the world hits been handicapped
jfefVby obstacles for which some lCKitimato
explanation could bo given lor Mich
pv conditions as are now alleged, conditions
K. under which workers are found totally
fej unfit for their vital duties, there can be no
Palliation. Betrayal of a monumental
fe'veJnterprfee must cease.
m& Tha logical consequence of a Liberty
&Loan Is a liberty gift for mankind.
JERSEY CANALS? CERTAINLY
K A OLD, revered and unassailable prln
ILf a.x:iple of economical transportation Is
tnreiiintAr1 liv thp nlnn fnr an plnbnrntp
;reytem of inland waterways on the At-
jUlatrocoast approved yesterday In a re-
Xjrt made to the Senate by the Depart-
ent of Commerce.
pl j A sea-Iel canal across New Jersey
r Will be applauded, of course, even though
i)t exists now only upon paper.
IR "Meanwhile If any one can And a wav
RTto cut that same canil through the Dela-
(ware Jtner parades In his Honor will be
C? held -tin- Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
KfcThen automobiles might be trained to
R; BWirn from Ctato to State under their own
M power In the absence of the bridge that
Vatiii seems as far in the future as a re-
ijusciiui.iil VMVininny.
; . .
Wi It seems fittlnsr that as we see the stars.
I. the riun. should feel the stripes.
TT SHOULDN'T be called Snnnlsh 'nfln.
fo-- enza. The malady Is of Hun origin.
ffTJt is a. by-product of the war. Specialists
r$!n Europe who have had almost a year for
4weearch 'know little about the disease.
'iThejr have proved that it isn't often fatal
jfBd tha,t it s dangerous because it often
fcft leaves a victim neculiarlv Kiispr-ntlhlo tn
Uflnaladles that are.
EiAvOUance and ereat caution will prevent
ptk spread of Influenza In this city. If
iWiw assailed suddenly with what seems
K tft.be a-bad cold, if jour muscles ache. If
Xirour eyes, throat and nose become Inflamed
PjMdU you experience a sudden senso of
Incomplete exhaustion, with theso symptoms
ao not v waste time with pills and home
K-treatment. Go to bed, open the windows.
EHthe doctor and resolve to buy more
CClLlDerty Bonda. Then all will be well.
As Metz is neared. the "can" in Amerl-
f ason . men-m ad tn avnn nia-.Vimi t rt. n..llU1.
vbw Mnv(j4to no juvai, ciiiyiitiww ayuauiv.
;MBY THE ENTIRE COMPANY"
r H VTBW pressure by Pershing toward Metz,
rW 43 a Franco-Serbian offensive northeast
Rf of Monastlr, Mangln's wedge driv en toward
Sjthe Chemln des-Dames, the British thrust
moving at a higher speed In the St. Quen-
tjtln country, the recapture of Important
K Peel t Ions by the Italians are all slmulta-
rjMousiy reported.
WaFoch, master manager of the war drama.
;JV .employing "the entire company." The
ggjciwraee is traditionally applicable to a
',iic. iicsiianuii iu uos ji in mai con-
tion now is the part of wisdom, but
Ul ijttlso worth while remembering that
I' Hrt Ieadlpg actors appear for the big
cular 'scenes earlier in the show.
eke,4 at least, as if one of the im-
t "feature" specialties on a scale
!,aaprehenslve magnlflcence were in
atlon
,.
Vl-Xt is not the Spanish grip, but the
JlsWerlcans, that troubles the Germans
li'll NOT TO BE TRUSTED
O points deservo attention in consld-
pa; the disclosures regarding the Ger-
uchinatlons in Russia,.
v!sf -.first Is that Germany was able to
I tnta who for a price would do her
e'even to the extent of debauching
l'JK.gft nation, with the consequent reign
f jp Jtwder ana pillage.
V ?"9ls iecond is that the nation which has
CtU)ty oi uiis monstrous crime, ioi-
tylts trampling; upon its sacred
W respect the neutrality oi nei-
We nation wmen is paw uniting
l.to'frccjpt In good faith its pro-
&m
THE OSTRICH POLICY
AND LIBERTY BONDS
Congress Seems Determine) to Adopt It in
Order to Keep War Securities
at Par
npHE drivo for the fourth Liberty Loan
is to begin a week from Saturday.
It is understood that the country will
be asked to subscribe for $6,000,000,000
worth of bonds, the interest on which
will be 4M per cent
Congress is struggling with the task
of raising revenue by taxation with which
to supplement the proceeds of the bond
sale, in order to provide funds to prose
cute the war. An additional sale of
$10,000,000,000 in bonds will have to bo
made before the close of the fiscal year
if we are to raise tho $24,000,000,000
which the Treasury Department has esti
mated will be necessary to pay the bills.
It will strain the lesourccs of
the country to raise the $8,000,000,000
by taxation, which, added to the
$16,000,000,000 of bonds to be issued, will
make up the total needed. The money
will be raised. That is admitted. Men
with property to be taxed will pay their
tax bills, perhaps with a wry face, but
they will pay them. Men with money to
invest will buy the bonds.
It does not seem, however, as if Con
gress were going about its task with that
degree of financial intelligence which
should be exercised in these critical days.
What the Government needs is net rev
enue. Yet the Treasury Department is
planning to pay AVi per cent interest
on the fourth Liberty Loan and to col
lect back as taxes the greater part of the
difference between the 3V. per cent on
the tax-free bonds of tho first loan and
the 4J4 per cent on the new loan. The
net revenue which it will collect will be
negligible so far as providing funds for
prosecuting the war; but the excess in
terest which it will have to pay in time
of peace, when the tax on the income
of the bonds may be reduced, will be a
burden upon the country for ycais to
come.
The proposed tax on the income from
the new bonds, after the exemption of a
limited amount in the hands of a single
purchaser, is 12 per cent. The difference
between the income from a 4 M per cent
bond and a 33 per cent bond is 17.8
per cent. This, on the surface, makes
a greater net leturn to an investor in
the bond drawing the greater interest.
But the 44 per cent bonds of the Liberty
Loans already floated are selling below
par. They have been quoted as low as
$95 for a $100 bond. The tax-free 3
per cent bonds have been selling for $102
or thereabouts for a $100 unit.
This disclosure of the attitude of in
vestois toward these securities ought to
be illuminating to Congress. Its only
effect has been to lead the Ways and
Means Committee to draft a measure
giving the President power to prevent the
buying and selling of the bonds, in the
belief that if no one is allowed to sell a
bond it will continue to be worth its
face value, and that investors will buy
new bonds in the confident belief that
they will remain at par. Such reasoning
is worthy of the ostiich which buiies its
head in the sand and thinks it is in
visible. The Senate has rejected it, but
the House has yet to admit its folly.
The susceptibilities and timidities of
capital ought to be considered in the
drafting of tho revenue bill, rather than
the timidities of tho politicians who balk
at the issue of tax-free securities. Capi
tal is timid when confronted by a bond
subject to "taxation because it has no
guaiantee that the tax late at the time
the bond is issued may not be increased
in the next revenue bill. It knows that
the heavier the tax on accumulated wealth
the better do certain demagogic politi
cians think they are pleasing the people.
The market quotations on tho Liberty
Bonds already issued ought to convince
the men in Congress that there is a
financially wiser course than that to
which they seem to be committed.
Always up to date, America Intends oper
ating the war on the bklp-stop system until
the grand termln'is is reached
ONLY LOG ROLLERS CAN OPPOSE
THIS
rpHE President has no power to veto any
Item in an appropriation bill. If ho
disapproves of a single appropriation or
any rider annexed to an appropriation bill
he must veto the whole measure.
An amendment to tho Constitution
giving him power to veto Individual Items
has been submitted to tho House of Repre
sentatives. No legitimate reason against
Its adoption can be urged.
The possible unwillingness of Congress
men to give up this method of forcing
through objectionable legislation may be
an excuse for rejecting tho amendment,
It is not a reason which can be defended.
The Governors of Pennsylvania. New
Tork and some other States have this
power. They exercise it with discretion
and profit to the taxpayers. There is no
danger that the President would abuse It.
Surrender of the swagger, but retention
of the swag, stands out as the cardinal prin
ciple of the Hun's peace plan.
LET'S NOT LOSE THIS MOMENTUM
"ITTHEN General March told the news
VV paper correspondents In Washington
that 35,000 American troops were landed
in France in one day, and that the ships
were able to stnrt back to this side of the
ocean within twenty-four hours, he indi
cated what could be done in the way of
the economical use of shipping when men
set about the task.
It has taken the impelling necessities of
war to force the ships to make such speed
In unloading and taking on supplies for
the return voyage. Nothing like it has
ever happened In peace times. Ships have
wasted days in port because of the leisure
ly system of discharging a cargo and
loading again. The railroad equipment of
the country has been strained beyond its
capacity every year in the crop-moving
season because no one ha's taken it upon
himself to keep the cars moving-. "re
could have carried twice or thrice the
amount of freight in pro-war times If the
freight cars had been Unloaded on the
day they reached their destination. War
has forced an abandonment of tho old
customs, and If a car Is not emptied
within twenty-four hours the goods nro
sent by drays to tho address of tho con
signee and dumped on tho sidewalk and a
bill for drayngo Is presented.
Tho momentum which tho transporta
tion business both on sea and lind has
received ought not to loso Its force when
peace comes. We havo discovered what
cr.n bo done and wo nro not likely to fall
back Into the old leisurely habits of tho
p.i"t.
The genernl desire to make things hot
for tho Kaiser throws chillingly Into the dis
card nny notion of exiling him to Ste
fnnsson's newly discovered land In the Arctic
AMBASSADOR DAVIS
rpun appointment of John W. Davis,
Solicitor General In the Department of
Justice, to te American ambassador near
the Coutt of St James's, doos not evoke
those emotions which such an appointment
In these critical times ought to cause
This does not mean that Mr. Davis may
not bo an e.xcellsnt representative of tho
United States In London. It merely means
that he Is known In such a narrow circle
that his possible qualifications havo to be
taken for granted.
Ho will succeed such distinguished
Americans as Whltelaw Held, Joseph H.
Choate, John Hay, Thomas V. Bayard and
James Husscll Lowell, to go no further
back than the eighties of the last century.
When each of these men was named the
country knew at once who he was nnd
what his particular qualification i were.
1'ach was nKo Known in London and to
a considerable portion of the British public.
Mr. Davis has his reputation as a iplo
matlst to make. He Is bald to be an able
lawyer, with experience Jn dealing with
large business interests By no stretch
of the term can he be called an ambassa
dor from tho Ameilcan people to the
British people Perhaps such a man Is
not needed Just now and his peculiar
qualifications may b those required to
deal with the issues that will arlso be
tween the two nations In the near future.
The people must accept him on trust
until he proves himself.
A tremendous lot of
Plense Do Ak phsleal and splr-Sorjetliliij-
Easy itual energy has
been concentrated for
vpars behind the suffrage propaganda on the
nn hand and the prohibition cause on tho
other l'ncrgy is not dissipated by the re
moval of obstacles It Is a continuous force.
What wo should likct to know now Is what
course the limitless dynamic energies of tho
prohibitionists and the suffraglbts nre to take
when thi? country Is dry and everybody
votes
Judge Bonn! well
So W Hutc Heard missed a shining op
portunity by falling
to declare, quickly and smartly, that he Is
behind President Wilson and determined to
"u-e all his power to banish Prusslanlsm
from the face of the earth " Such a declara
tion would be perfectly safe under the cir
cumstances. Beer achieved its fulle.t glory
in Munich. And Munich Is In Bavaria.
After all, it may be
unjust to accuse the
Bolshevikl of a secret
The Subtle
'UHteHl
alliance with Ger
many Current dispatches raise new doubts
W'llhtlm is attempting to recruit new armies
in Husla. And L-nlne and Trotsky are
doing their best to kill off the entire malo
population before the first Hun can realize
that ambition
Tho Washington order
Too iooil requesting men to save
for Them their old straw hats
bee-tuse of a possible
shortage next summer came too lato for
dome restaurant ouiurs that we know. They
had already put the old kelljs in the war
bread.
At least one of the
Vuge Htm at Once Great Powers asso
ciated with the Allies
has so far refrained from openly support
ing President Wilson's retort to Emperor
Charles of Austria. We have yet to hear
from Henry Ford.
Brewing peace In Austria seems to be
even more dilllcult than brewing beer will
soon be In another quarter of the globe
Hertling ses peace nearer, according to
the foreign dispatches When our armies get
closer to Berlin he w 111 pee It nearer still.
"Voluntary withdrawals" seem to be
sternly under the gang ban when political
assessment time comes around
The pelican, according to an expert. Is a
much maligned bird; but ho did not suggest
that the pelican appeal to the Kaiser for
sympathy.
Our great-grandmothers married when
they were seventeen So the girls of that
age who have been getting married In great
numbers recently are merely reviving an old
custom.
Magistrate Person has been expelled
from his ward committee, not, however, be
cause ho Is an officeholder and forbidden to
sit In such a committee, but because he has
offended his superiors.
Considering the way In which German
insults and outrages have been accepted by
Spain, one Is not surprised to learn that the
special symptom of the alleged "grip" from
that country Is prostration.
Foreign Minister Balfour says that Ger
many, must not be allowed to get back her
colonies or her naval bases; and It looks as
If Mr. Balfour would have more to 'say
about the matter than the Kaiser.
While the Senate committee is Investi
gating the expenditure of money in senatorial
primaries it is likely to be forced to give
almost as much attention to the charges that
as large Bums have been spent In behalf of
Democrats as In behalf of Republicans.
Twelve new major generals and about
fifty brigadier generals must soon be ap.
pointed unless our armies are to be com
manded by officers of a rank unsulted to
their responsibilities. Perhaps the President
is waiting for the officers of lower rank to
prove their 'fitness be'fore he promotes them.
RUBBER HEELS
Hay Fever
Alfred Tennyson Had It
(XN EITHER sldo tlie river Ho
Long fields of barley and of rye
And goldenrod, and ragweed high;
And through the field the road runs by
My nose runs, too. I damn a lot.
Tho pollen prickles me with woe,
The fearful spasms come and go,
And hopelessly my nose I blow:
My eyes with blood are shot.
WHEN in ngony I quiver
Useless atomizers shiver,
For my asthma runs forever,
Patent nostrums help me never
(Up my nose I Jam a lot).
And, unless somo kindly showers
Lay tho pollen of theso flowors
I shall sneezo and sneeze for hours
For so tho gods allot.
Information for Guests in a
Bolshevik Hotel
Guests are requested to- deposit their
machine guns with the night clerk.
Patrons of tho hotH are, earnestly ad
vised not to loiter In the lobby. In spite
of every precaution on the part of tho
management accidents will happen.
Meals will be served when possible by
arrangement with tho Kitchen Soviets.
For the convenience of patrons the hotel
conducts a private mortuary chapel In the
basement. Mourning vvteaths may be had
fresh at all hours.
Please do not assasslnato tho chamber
maids, as the supply Is limited.
Guests will refrain from calling for hot
water. Bourgeois luxuries are not pro
vided. The hotel's own firing squad may bo
hired for political meetings. Terms on
application. No soft-nosed bullets used.
Tho hotel pi ov Ides free legal counsel for
any of Its guests attainted of treason.
A shrapnel helmet nnd German diction
ary will be found In every room, under the
bed.
Guests aro advised to pay no attention
to flrealaims anil explosions.
Until an nrmlstico can be arranged with
the commissar of revolutionary cham
bermaids guests will kindly make their
own beds. Please do not deface tho il
luminated Marxian texts displayed In the
bedrooms.
Guests are urged not to wear collar and
cuffs In the lobbies of the hotel, as It at
tracts unpleasant attention.
Special rooms are provided by the man
agement for guests wishing to draw up
secret treaties.
Suits of armor nre rented by tho hotel
for the conv cnlonce of visiting ambassa
dors. Apply to the blacksmith.
Use of the elevator may be arranged by
special appointment with tho commissioner
of lifts, In tho Itching Palm ojm.
Sniping is permitted In the Brest
Lltovsk Room only.
Guests desiring to make their wills can
find a notary In tho sun parlor.
The management has arranged for a
barber to visit tho hotel every other
Thursday.
Please do not uso tho wall paper for
rough drafts of manifestoes.
Guests aro urged to avoid the fourth
floor, where a battalion of reactionary
scrubwomen havo barricaded themsolves.
So far they have not been dislodged, but
as soon as the heavy ordnance comes back
from tho Murman front this problem will
be dealt with.
German money accepted at its face value.
When checking garments in tho cloak
room kindly do not leave any hand gre
nades or time clocks In tho pockets. We
have had a number of complaints about
this.
Guests are requested not to Jeer at the
bell-hops. Tho fact that they were for
merly grand dukes Is not to bo held against
them.
As you read this,
imagine how it
feels to be blind
mHE Pennsylvania Working Home
-- for Blind Men, at Thirty-sixth street
and Lancaster avenue, provides useful
work for 150 blind men. They carry on
the sixth largest broom factory in the
country.
THE home is preparing to train 100
more blind workers, especially sol
diers blinded In battle. To do so, the
home wishes to raise a fund of $150,000.
yOU will never regret anything you
J- do to help this great work. Checks
may bo sent to Joseph "Vayne, Jr.,
Girard National Bank, Philadelphia.
The Kaiser Is the world's greatest ex
ample of a self-unmade man.
What He Is Useful for
One of the ways of ascertaining tho
truth on any subject is to 1nd out what
Bernstorff says about ft, and then believe
the opposite.
The Kaiser may need not only a retreat
specialist but a rout specialist.
Mr. Edison says every letter written in
the next five weoks should elnsn "Tim
for the fourth Liberty Loan."
It's a good idea, and we can use It here,
too.
Yours for the fourth Liberty Loan,
SOCRATES.
We're Just as glad to hear that the Serbs
havo crossed the Gradesnltza as we are are
worried about pronouncing It.
Secretary Baker, arrived in London, is
now miles from the "big show" on which he
saw the curtain rise, but he can hear the
applause even more clearly than ever.
Tho Germans who have been comparing
the Hindenburg line with the areat Wall of
China obviously have a feeling for accuracy,
since a considerable part of the celebrated
Asian barrier Is In ruins.
The watch on the Rhine Is now for
enepiy airplanes. More than a hundred tons
of tfcmbs were dropped on towns In the Rhine
Valley during August, Just to give the people
a foretaste of what was coming when the
land armies get there.
The kind of daylight-saving which na
ture practices on days like yesterday wins
ni applause from even the most Inveterate
conservationist.
I
"UNKULTURED FOOLS! THEY STILL BELIEVE IN JUSTICE
AND HONOR!!"
u ". Nm&WFAm&&- ,f--'f,-f.-L-r''r
U .ffiSfei i nBKL44f)aBQ3&.. i. -wi.t-jo.. i.t 'd-7..
lBHiH V JrfP
"-3eaeamw3H8SaHsaStf3S " &Tl; eTmsaMlMAi yi Wg&i
Perplexities of a Coffee-House Revival
AMONG the numerous suggestions as to
-what shall bo done with the con
viviality salient when tho gradual retire
ment of John Barleycorn Is made complete,
the plea for a coffee-house revival at first
blush Js conspicuously alluring. Sentiment
and respect for the reputed charm of the
age when London settled her literary and
political dest'nles over cups of the ebon
Arabian fluid are naturally essential fac
tors in winning indorsement for tho -o-tlon.
Here in Philadelphia, furthermore,
there Is a special tradition of appealing
potency.
The old Londoi Coffee House, conducted
for many years previous to 1833 at the
southwest corner of Second nnd Market
streets, exerted through Its often distin
guished patrons no inconsiderable Influ
ence on the course of American history.
Tho stage revived its memories last year
when a room in the famous old building
was presented as a scene of a wily political
offensive against the ascendancy of Alex
ander Hamilton.
Interest in the coffee houses of a past
era was unquestionably awakened, but .he
theme, while attroctivo, seemed to lack
immediate significance. Within less than
a year It has acquired such a quality. The
war may vanquish "booze" temporarily or
permanently, but both drinking and talk
ing are Indispensable to existence.
THE character of our conversation,
though It should perhaps sometimes
give us pause, seldom worries us. But
what we sha'. drink under appropriate and
congenial conditions has become a matter
of present inquiry. Some sentimentalists
with their heads full of Boswell and Addi
son call for coffee and coffee houses. The
At fa wall mannlnir but rash. Is there
UUIUHO .... ...v ---" -
any evidence to show that English coffee
and English conversation were ever of
equal merit? Aro not, indeed, tho com
plexities of the coffee question almost as
baffling as those of the war?
CONSIDER, for instance, the enemy of
civilization, Mark Twain gave the
recipe for German coffee as follows: "Rub
a coffee berry against 0 chicory berry
and convey the latter into a barrel of
water. Tie a wet rag around the head to
prevent excitement."
Austria, however, was not entirely a
vassal in the days of "A Tramp Abroad"
and the truth-telling humorist exempted
her from his Indictment. His la not the
only rhapsody over Vienna coffee, but
through all the eulogies runs a disconcert
ing detail. Vienna coffee is "rlchened"
with a preparation of figs. Whether true
epicureanism Is betrayed by this Invasion
is an issue as befogged as Vienna's peace
terms.
mHE globe-trotting gastronomist of peace
X days and suredy he should be con
sulted If our proposed coffee houses are to
be worthy of an advanced culture would
himself be puzzled to specify which one of
the Innumerable varieties of the speech
stimulating beverage should be 'served.
English coffee shades of the Johnsonians!
Is altogether unregenerate and should be
unreprleved.
Its major ingredient is the malevolent
chicory, frankly , and unashamedly em
ployed. In Justice to our ally, however,
it should be stated that the use of this
masquerading berry has probably declined
In Great Britain since the war, as for
some Inexplicable reason the puns in-
vading Belgium destroyed most of the
chicory fields. Good -'deeds aro occasion
ally wrought by singular Instruments.
The French percolated coffee Is a delight
In an after-dinner demi-tasse; a pale and
soupllko Infusion of a few honest berries
and a deluge of hot water and steaming
milk at thx breakfast table.
Turks, Arabs and other Moslems, barred
from alcohol by their religion, aro un
afraid of native coffee strength, but tho
wisdom of their policy of serving tho
grounds In tho cup may be seriously
doubted. South Americans and Spaniards,
as a rule, make real coffee, but according
to some tastes tho berries are overroasted,
and even those whoso sweet teeth aro un
satisfied under tho Hoover regime may
object to the four or five lumps of sugar
deposited In the cup before the liquid
makes Its appearance on the cafo table.
Italian. coffcj has a way of compelling ono
to order another glass of wine.
AMERICAN coffee stands up well under
. this hasty survey. Lack of uniformity,
however, Is its embarrassing weakness.
The percolated variety, the boiled variety,
the coffee "cleared" with eggshells, the
pure but weak mahogany-colored coffee
and that puzzling, ambiguous decoction to
which the term "Jersey coffee" has been
applied are all prevalent In tho nation
which, even without the revival of John
Bonlan inns, consumes more of the un
stable liquid than any country on earth.
IT MAY be seen, therefore, that the coffee
house Institution, redolent with Its
charms of historical retrospect, will Im
mediately propound problems to make llfo
more complicated. The riddle, "What is
good coffee?" will flourish virulently and
anew. Perhaps an International affair,
with urns properly manned by natives of
each American district and each foreign
land whence the respective and bewilder
ing varieties of coffee hall, might bring
amity to the foreshadowed situation. Even
the chicory bibbers might be admitted to
a dark corner.
HAPPILY tho loquacious aspects of the
twentieth century coffee house should
give no uneasiness. Tho Abysslnlans are
said to have discovered the coffee by noting
the vivacious conduct of a herd of sheep
which had accidentally pastured on the
wild shrubs. Later tho Arabs prepared
some of the berries for their own use and
were delighted to learn that the pain of
being compelled by certain Mohammedan
religious rlteu to remain awake all night
was converted into the pleasure of an In
vigorating social gathering. No, there
isn't a particle of doubt that words will
flow fully as fluently as at the bar, and
much more distinctly, should the coffee
house be' resuscitated. Once the gastro
nomlo embarrassments have been over
come tho picture becomes engaging,
THERE is more point to be emphasized.
All coffee-house tables should be low,
congenial to the casual elbow, and conse
quently unproductive of strain. Lpw
lying tables are subtle but powerful in
ducements to fellowship, to tolerance and
the enlivening Interchange of opinion. The
furnishings of all European sidewalk cafes
attest the pertinence of this great truth.
If you doubt it, shorten the legs of your
own dining room table, and while waiting
for the coffee house to materialize, see
what increased fun you can have airing
your own views over your own character
istic, cup at home, , H.T.C.
THE OPEN BOAT
4TTTHEN this here war is done," says
' Dan, "and all the flghtin's through.
There's somc'll pal with Fritz again as
they was used to do;
But NOT ME," says Dan, the sailor man,
"NOT ME," says he,
"Lord knows It's nippy in an open boat
on winter nights at sea."
"When tho last battle's lost an' won, an'
won or lost tho game.
There's 6omo'll think no 'arm to drink
with squareheads Just the same;
But NOT ME," says Dan, the sailor man,
"an if you ask mo why
Lord knows it's thirsty in an open boat
when tho water-beaker's dry."
"When all tho bloomln' mines Is swep'
an' ships are sunk no more,
There's some'll set them down to eat
with Germans as before;
But NOT ME," says Dan, the sailor .man,
"NOT ME, for ono
Lord knows it's hungry in an open boat
when the last biscuit's done.
"When peace is signed and treaties made
an' trade begins again.
There's some'll shako a German's hand
an' never see tho stain;
But NOT MB," says Dan, the sailor man,
"NOT ME, as God's on high
Lord knows it's bitter in an open boat
to see your shipmates die."
rCella Fcoti-Smlth, in Punch.
Great Minds
The three kings of Scandinavia are to meet '
some time this month to consider war .prob
lems. When three kings get together,
whether In Imperial conference or In some- s
body's hand, there Is usually something
doing, so this event will be worth watching.
Salem News.
Not Much Nonsense About That
The Kaiser made tho mistake of picking
out a nation that refuses to be beaten.
Detroit Free Press. .
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Who Is toramander-ln-rhl f of the Allied
force- now ronductlnr a victorious offensive
In Macedonia?
3. What la a claymore?
3. What Is a saff?
4. What 1 the function of a "bonse flat." dli-
plured or ships ot the merchant marine?
5. Who la called "Tho Father of Hlstorr"?
6. Wher was the potato first discovered?
7. What la tho ortcln nf the expression. "Cab-
bases and klnss"?
8. What famous American editor onco did for
the presidency of tho United HtaUa? ' '
0. Who Invented tho cartoon srmboU of the Re.
publican elephant nnd tho Demacratlo Jack
ass? .
10' What relation was Napoleon III to Napo
leon I?
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
1. Straasburic Is the capital of Alsace, formerly
A sombrero, U a broail-brlmmed felt hat,
The, word, Is 8panlah. from "sombra."
shade, and In that lancuaie Is applicable
to a man's hat ot any sort,
A ansaree 1; a cold, drink, orltlnallr of
wine, diluted. and spiced. The word Is de
rived from the HpanUh, "sonirrlu." bleed
ins, alludbis, of course, to the red wine
Ingredient. ew Orleans Is the homo of
the saniaree.
An Irade Is a written decree by the fioltaa
of Turkey.
Uilllam the Conqueror Invaded Ensland la
1090.
Boise City Is the capital of Idaho. ,
A fuiue Is a musical composition Klfh one
or more short themes Interwoven or con-i
trapuntally harmonlicd and jolatrodaced
from time to time.
epln
L Hi
fried, whose murder by llaaen h matn.
ally avensra by seneral slaughter of
Ilasen'a and Kins Ouother's vassals,
Camtlopard Is another name for the strafe.
There la an annal JllwlatAa . AimAt -Mmllkft t
and Ita absence oiutwp days. to. the mi. ,t
'All
l
1
'I
$1
9
V
i
H
jfi
J -ifc t j -
'lfer H r'
i
i In
t v S7i ,
K . - . r
;A..
hMi
,. IXLL2mZS,
H'i "-, k''
5?
Ifl.itfaE", ' I ' Vi . n
ft ijr . 'VW .? i"
i "' xft. i i
t -4
'-,. .via!
2" '
" t j i- ' - . .mMK !- r.v
r nr , l :
. "v 'j. r mute,?. ."v " tfr
ti
. 1.JII ' -' r
fT 'J
V-- . .aeafaaBSKMsW. tr , 1 I' ii
JYHVx.Wi