Evening public ledger. (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, August 31, 1918, Final, Page 8, Image 8

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HB EVENTNG TELIXJRAPH
' PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
rUft H. t.ii1infAn VIpa PmaMfintt inhn C
iui. Sieretarjr nd Trfnurfri millps Colllm,
I B. Wtlllamt, John J. Spurefon, Dlrrctors.
Mim "" nimtil. tininn.
. t. !- . w r.. rt..i. --
VID S. 8MILET. ...,.'.. Editor
3E
C llAnTIN..(.0heral Buln Manater
fabllshM daily at Pcbuo I.epoib tlulldlnr.
inciepcnaence sauare. I'nuaaeipnia
Cbktxil Bro2d and Chrstnut Strrrta
aKTfo CITI., hrrst-Unlon Ilullillni
' toik ,....,....,206 Mtrcrolltan Totrrr
oit 4(13 Ford uuMflina-
ocis...., inna Ftiiirton minding
UCAOO 1202 Trthune HuiMInir
hi-- ' NEWS BUREAUS,
SfZJ'Sf aibinoto Done.
n. m. or. i-nniivania Ae. ana iitn si.
Tob Beaut.,.,., . . Th Sun Bulldlnf
6NC9N BCltAC
1 London Ttmes
JfM
SUBSCniPTION TERMS
y Tha Etinino PuaLiti Ltmia Ii aervtd to ub-
t fcrioera in fnilaaelphla and aurroundlnc towna
t,.mt the rata o( twelve (12) cents per week, payable
' i the carrier.
M, Br mall to points outside of rhlladelpnla. In
';& Mm United States. Canada, or United mates po
' toM
ma
Vt ( . Mil
?'. I
1 v kl mt
-w
:m?
W3?iI!p"IOI,B posiaas xree. nrxy nui cenis per monin.
(L'VBHa flAI riollara n., wif. naiaht In arfvanpf,
f;it?l ' To all foreltn countries one (11) dollar per
LVf-lj; fconth.
?i t. None Subscribers wlshlnr address chanted
"iiK vMat ve old as well as new address.
rfe'' 1 BELL. M WALNI.T KEYSTONE. MAIN 3000
P Aftdrest oil eommunlcotlons to vfn(na" fuble
Lttotr, Initptndtnce Bnuare, Philadelphia,
Member of the Associated Press
5fi3J - TAB ASBOCtATED PRESS is exclu-
t$$t w dpofchM credited to it or not
iAheruite credited In th paper, and alto
y-i. toed I new ptibtbned (Aereln.
SCS 'ill Mkl, f ,flffMMtAM O .MVJll 1.
S"jHe nereln are nUo reserved
rMM.lpSIt, Sslurdar. Auiuit 31, 1118
r
I A CALIPH IN BORROWED PLUMES
j TMWYOR SMITH, golfing merrily at
' Shawnee-on-Delaware wherever that
may be makes It appear that Senator
Vare was chaffing us the other day when
he played Caliph before a delegation of
', real estate men and promised a reduced
or at least a fixed tax rate. There Is a
Suspicion even that Senator Ed was
chaffing; himself, since the Mayor, from the
alattiMaaiaaak DWa aa mm TaI neaa, -
f.n aiu wi Dimniidruii-icionnic, u-iouic-i
Rr tlia, TrnrM thaf nil th. lnrrtlv nrnmlaa
which seemed to express the beneficence
of Senator Ed were, In fact, merely repre
sentative of Intentions and plans formu
lated months ago In the Maor's office.
Mr. Smith promises to cut down the
city's expenditures by playing Lord High
Executloneer to Senator Ed's Caliph. He
will reduce the personnel of all the mu
nicipal departments to the very bone. A
reduced tax rate, he informs us, is a cer
tainty of the near future.
How shall we Interpret the elastic term
"bone"? Can it be that In trimming
downward and stopping when he reaches
the bone the Mayor will therefore stop
When he reaches some of Senator Ed's
beet friends?
Tf. rtn thft nthar hilnri Iha Snnalnr'a
WPti ......
14 'friends are to be fired, what Is to be done
IT m4W All u- ..... ...M r,i... ui,
wiui au wic iiavie iuuiji ai iuy mm.-
These dajs of the shrinking dollar, with
s,reductlon of almost one-half of Its former
Mrchaslna rjower. seriouslv Incline orif to
doubt the virtue of too much modesty.
THE DEFEAT OF MISS RANKIN
ffe Lri6S JEANNETTE RANKIN was de
l'Jr tested for the Republican senatorial
'luitWnlna tlon in Montana, not because she
:A1m . Woman, hut hprnnsA Rhn 1 nut nf
, annpathy with the purposes and ideals of
jp; ths voters of the State.
k t " Hrie votea against the declaration of war
fcavnd she is in sympathy with the I. W. W.,
-j tin organization a hundred of the leaders
of which have recently been convicted of
interfering with the efforts of the Govern
ment to raise money and armies for the
prosecution of the war.
Montana Republicans are to be con
1 cratulated on their manifestation nf na.
, w j.
c.i wjv.o, w cjchtllB, llllo alllQi, nilU IS
awvusiiy ii nut uuiiouiuuHiy pro-uerman.
fa o mailer nai me w earner man says,
H way be safely prophesied that the first
auto-less day tomorrow will not be a fine
& Sunday along the best-paved turnpikes
KrNvATaTus-eyeo constables will be enabled vlrtu-
F mlye in ahlil tm shnn
C a. ' -- "
A CRISIS FOR SPANISH HONOR
WdH? Ml,ttl,n rf tV,A . mI.I 1.. .t.
I'rtzf ' dw.wv.um w n ncn 1.1101a III IIIO
. lial ta,ein4tatl, kaIvaH nnli, V... U& .WU.I ..V.
KiSrmUslon of King Alfonso's people or bv
W-KB" j ......... ... . .
wsr. t ine nuns promise to exempt Span
.Wish vessels from submarine attack has
i :ban broken within a week. Furthermore.
ST'inTo pledge was violated In the face of
K?1 Spain's threat to commandeer a Teuton
fcfcjilnterned ship for each one of her mer-
PjjS-chantmen destroyed. Naturally the pirates
ir"Objected to this program and promised to
iljll behave. Naturally, also, they had no such
P. Intention.
? Tne opanisn eieamsnip rusa nas Been
&' awnk and Madrid is now confronted with
KJ-.the problem of knuckling down or exe
iAFfeutlna; the threat, the Justice of which has
jpTKise) meaning for the German mind. The
s Issue between a long suffering neutral na-
daCllt.
?.r- " -
'si Spanish honor Is extremely sensitive.
Ir-lt,'win bo made a mockery if it succumbs
SwRlalthls instance to the characteristic lies
y$rii the German Foreign Office.
,
yfty It easily conceivable that the very
p'.f;jatBg princess whom Prince Rupprecht is
, i-a laUKa) aw, ms uw a. ..no mvo, u, ncr com-
IMtriots since the war, a victim of Luxem-
iic SOLDIERS AT HOME
SK a United States coast guard
.killed a man who was found acting
OVMMtousiy on me ucean uiy Deacn ne
:. jlHlie) more than his plain duty under
Qffetrcumatftnces, and it will be regret-
IS , if he should be subjected to any of
ffHa -annoyances or a civil investigation,
ed all tne tacts are as stated.
'.coast guard was an officer of the
fitment engaged In duty directly as-
tated with the work of war. The vlc-
f .. tile pistol, refused to surrender or
Jm questioned when he was caught
VMff strangely on forbidden ground.
lMLhe attacked the man who ques-
'hiss m tne name or the Govern-
t'The guard would have been Jus-
1 In shooting him even before the
a
is that la these times all
rso behave as to be abpve
,wfioarea;trt above sua-
it fcWfia.' .1
WJfcfi
1l-"Jh-
V
FORCE TO THE UTMOST
The Man-Power of the Nation Is Now at the
Dispotal of the Prenident for Win
ning the War
T!
HE first thins? to bo noted in connec
tion with the passage of the man
power bill is the enthusiastic willingness,
when it came to n final showdown, ot
both Houses of Congress to place nt
the disposal of the Commander-in-Chief
of the Army and Nnvy of the United
States virtually the whole man-power of
the nation.
Congress wascady to pass such n bill
weeks ago, but the Secretary of War
said it was not necessary. He urged post
ponement. And Congicss took a recess
on the strength of the assurances from
Secretary Baker. But within two or three
weeks the War Department changed its
mind and asked that the recess bo aban
doned in order that a bill might be passed
as quickly as possible cmpovveiing the
President to draft all eligible males be
tween 'the ages of eighteen and forty-five,
inclusive.
This Congress has now done. Theie
were only two negative votes in the
House and only one negative vote in the
Senate on the bill in its regular foim, and
the Senator who was opposed, as soon as
he discoveied that he was alone, asked
that he be allowed to withdraw his vote
and be recorded as not voting. The dif
ferences between the House and the Son
ate bills were quickly ndjusted, and the
bill went to the President with all the
essential provisions in it and with some
troublesome provisions, inserted by the
Senate, eliminated, especially the nnti
strike amendment, which this newspaper
opposed from its inception as unneces
sary and pernicious.
The significance of all this ought not
to be lost on the executive heads in
Washington. The Congress, representing
the people of the nation, is more ready
than the War Department to use force
to the utmost to win the war. And the
nation stands behind the Congress.
The bill, as it was passed, opens the
reservoir of military power, to be drawn
upon to whatever extent may be neces
sary. It puts complete discretion in the
hands of the President as to the number of
men to be called, as to the order in which
he shall call the men of different ages and
as to the assignment of them to the army
or to the navy. Under the power thus
conferred the President may take from
his office a man managing a large busi
ness and put him in the army as a pri
vate. He may take a professional man
a lawyer or a doctor and set him to driv
ing a teamof mules in the commissary
department, or he may take the presi
dent of a college or the principal of a
high school and make him a headquarters
clerk.
But such men need fear no such action
on the part of Mr. Wilson. The power
that he has had to be inclusive. It will
be exercised with discretion and judgment
in such a way as to utilize to the best
advantage all the fighting ability and
technical skill that we have in order to
make the most efficient fighting machine
of which we are capable. And if men
are engaged in occupations necessary to
the conduct of the war, whether it be
agriculture, or other form of industry or
occupation, they may be exempted en
tirely from the draft or they may be
drafted for limited military service.
The industries of the country aie prop
erly safeguarded. The responsibility rests
on the President, who is the commander-in-chief
of all the national foices, and
who must take into consideration all the
problems, industrial as well as military,
connected with the raising of an army
and its maintenance in the field.
The Constitution contemplated the ex
ercise of such powers by the President,
and the Congress has merely followed
the letter and the logic of that docu
ment in prescribing the way in which
the army shall bp laised.
If we need an army of 5,000,000 men
it can now be raised without further
legislation, and if we need an army of
10,000,000 men there are eligibles enough
between the ages of eighteen and forty
five to fill its ranks.
The spirit with which our men are
fighting in France already has encour
aged our allies. They will be heaitcned
still more when they learn the extent
to which we havo committed our man
power to the great task laid upon it.
The selection of a pro-Ally Premier in
Holland suggets that that little country is
fully alive to the significance of Halg and
Foch's war communiques
THE VIEWS OF A PATRIOT
CARDINAL GIBBONS, who is a man of
'-' clear vision, able to see through all the
sophistications of chop logic, has written
of the labor situation in the following
words:
Just as it Is the duty of those who are
called to fight to fight hravely and to
allow their patriotism to be the Inspiring
principle of their courage, so It Is neces
sary that those who work should work In
the same strenuous and patriotic manner.
Those workingmen who accept tho Car
dinal as their guide will doubtless give
serious thought to this pregnant sentence
when they are tempted to lay down their
tools.
The American war bill yesterday was
our biggest on record, But as Uncle Sam is
now getting something for his money it
ought to be positively n. pleasure to pay up.
DON CAMERON AND THE BOSS SYSTEM
JAMES DONALD CAMERON, who died
yesterday at the age of elghty-flve
years. Inherited the Republican leadership
In Pennsylvania from his father, Simon
Cameron. Both father and son served ns
United States Senator and each was Sec
retary of War, the elder In the Cabinet of
Lincoln at the beginning of his term and
the younger in the Cabinet of Grant at
the end of, his term.
Cameron was a -"boss" before that
"WMslif
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGERr
term was applied opprobrlously to politi
cal leaders. He handed his power over to
his son when he got weary with using It,
and Matthew Stanley Quay, who was
brought up In tho Cameron school, suc
ceeded the son when ho was ready to re
tire. And when Quay died Senator Pen
rose, an apprentice who had learned his
trade In the political shop of Quay, where
tho Cameron tiadltlons controlled, suc
ceeded to nil the honors and emoluments
of tho political dj nasty.
There aro few States In which there has
been such a succession ot leaders believ
ing In the same political methods and
maintaining theli supremicy for so many
enrs. But this distinction Is not one of
which thoughtful Pennsvlvanlans are
proud, Even In the davs of Simon Cam
eron's greatest power thcio were men
who denounced his Ideals and his methods.
Nowadays wo do not find many persons
who defend the svstem. AVhcn they Bpeak
of It at all they apologlro for it as perhaps
n necessary evil. Somo day they may
leave off all mitigating adjectives and
ndmlt that It is nn evil.
Strange as It mn eem, liquidating John
Barlejcorn Is cssentlilly a ilrv business
THE HIGH COST OF TALKING
rpHOSE who loathe the thought of gov
crnment ownership, wno fear and dis
trust theories of Federal control over In
dustries and public utilities, havo suddenly
found a potent friend in Postmaster Gen
eral Burleon. They have had reason to
feel that Mr. McAdoo was one of their
stnnchest allies, since railroad travel Is
swiftly becoming almost painful. But Mr.
Burleson's unheralded announcement that
the user of a telephone must hereafter
pay tho costs of Installation a charge
that may range from $2 to $15 per instru
ment must be regarded as a triumph
of achievement by those who want to see
tho theory of Government ownership dis
credited In the old days If trains were late or
poorly equipped, If thf lnllroads made
ticket bujing difficult and raised fares and
substituted cheap pine cages for the usual
agieenble appearing ticket offices, thei
public would have blared agalist soulless
corporations and tho newspapers would
have cffeivesced like Congressmen with
sarcastic comment. But had the telephone
companies expressed an Intention to clap
an additional Installation ta on to the
hill of everj one who cmploved their serv
lco a tornado of abuse would have gone
up all over the land and Congress and the
Senate would have waned with each other
for the prlv ilege of lending the orchestrated
diapason of woe.
The country would have clamored for
Government ownership!
It Is plain, of course, that the Govern
ment Is facing difficult and new conditions
in Its administration of the wires and the
railroads. But the corporations lecognlzed
one Important principle which the Govern
ment seems utterly to disregard They
tried to make life amiable upon their rall-
' V
roads and In the avenues touched by their
wires. The telephone companies realized
that every new subscriber would add
something to the pioflts derived from the
rest of the sjstem. Even body benefltej
by the expansion of telephone service Just
as life was made pleasanter and business
was helped by Improving railway service.
It is when Mr. McAdoo and Mr. Burleson
seem unable to recognize the value of
graciousness in the public service that
they aro open to criticism. Now we aie
Invited by inference (to talk less and help
win the war. And there is nothing elte
to do because there is no one left to whom
we can complain
The Senate, passing
ConKresalonat Rprnrtl, the prohibition rider
Dense Copy without a vote In
order that the mem
bers might not ' be embarrassed at the next
elections," didn't present a spectacle likely
to be Inspiring in das when all men are
asked to be brave VVhdt we should like to
know Is the number of Senators who went
Immediately after the vote to Baltimore,
which has been the fount of cheer for all
Washington since I'ennsjlvanla avenue be
came as the Sahara
Now that General Rum
The First is actually defeated
Kutlilessnesi It must be said that he
can boast an appalling
number of casualties on the other side.
Now we know that
nut Hades Isn't Hlndenburg la really
dead An official dis
patch from Germany sa he Is calm.
"Parisians seek reasons for German re
treat," declares a headline. But they prob
ably won't worry about them quite so much
as the actual participants in that retrograde
mov ement
The daring British who made the highly
destructive housetop raid on Mannheim seem
to have turned the gospel of rooflessness to
good account.
Those Main Line physicians who are
planning to increase their fees to $5 a islt
doubtless think that they will make Just as
much money with about one-half the work.
The French were at the gates of Ham
last night and they are likely to carve' the
Germans out of it before tonight.
Bad Nauhelm very neatly describes the
place where Wllhelm and Ferdinand have
been meeting for their Jatest sympathy-fest.
Some strikes nowadays are perfectly,
good ones. We allude to the Foch-Halg
variety.
The Hun may still believe he's all to
the mustard, but without Ham, which he
now stands to lose, the notion lacks charm.
It is axiomatic that ovstera will go
down much more easily this fall If they don't
go up.
Germany's "will to win" seems to have
(been Ilka most other will a forecast of
flflSTfli .tjj.i j- . -, uj . u. i
Jr-PHnlADELPHlA, SATUBDATS AU'
- P
CAMPHOR BALLS
Meditations on 0)steri
"ll" WALKED down a little street that
runs a modest course through the
middle of the afternoon, scooped between
high and rather grimy walls so that a
coolness and a shadow aro upon It. It Is
a homely Httld channel, frequented by
laundry wagons taking away great piles
of soiled linen from the rear of a large
hotel, and little barefoot urchins pushing
carts full of kindling wood picked up from
the,lltter of splintered packing cases. On
one sldo of the street Is a big power-house
where tho drone and murmur of vast dy
namos croon a soft undertone to the dls
tnnt clang and zooming of the trolleys.
Bejond that Is the Btnge door of a bur
lesque theatre, and a faint sweetness of
grcaso paint drifts to tie nose down a
dark, mysterious passageway.
a
"ITTE WALKED down this little street,
' noticing tho Tor Rent sign on a sa
loon at the corner and the pyramided
boxes of green and yellow apples on a
fruit stand, and It seemed to us that there
was nn unmistakable breath of autumn
in the nlr. Out beyond, where the street
widens and floods Itself again with sun,
there was heat and shimmer and the glit
tering plate-glass windows of Jewelry deal
ers, but In tho narrower strip of alley we
felt a premonitory tang of future frost.
At the end of August -the sunlight gets
ellower, more oblique; It loses the pale
and deadly glare of earlier days. It is
shallower, more colorful, but weaker of
impact. Shall we say it has lost Its punch?
AND then we saw a little ovster cafe,
. well known to mahy loveis of good
cheer, that has been furbishing Itself for
the Jolly davs to come. No one knows
jet whether the U-boats have frightened
the oysters, whether the fat bivalves will
be leaner and scarcer than in the good
old days; no one knows whether there will'
even be enough of them to last out until
nest Easter; but in the mejntlme we all
live In hope. And one thing Is certain
the oyster season begins on Monday. The
little cafe has repainted Its white front
so that It shines hospitably; and the sill
and the cellar trapdoor where the barrels
go in, and the shutters and the awning
poles in front, are all a sticky, glistening
green. The white marble step, hollowed
by thousands of eager feet In a million
lunch time forays, has been scrubbed and
sandsoaped. And next Monday morning,
bright and early, out goes the traditional
red and green sign of the R,
rnHE "poor patient ojster," as Keats calls
him (or her, for thero aro lady ojsters,
too, did you know?) is not only a sessile
bivalve mollusk, but a traditional svmbolof
autumn and winter cheer. Even if Mr.
Hoover counts out the' little round crack
eis In twos and threes, we hope there will
be enough of the thoughtful and innocent
shellfish to go around. When the cold
winds begin to harp and whlnney at street
corners and wives go seeking among cam
phor balla for our last j ear's overcoats,
you will be glad to resume jour acquaint
ance with a bowl of steaming bivalves,
Rwimming in milk with little clots of j-el-low
butter twilling on the surface of the
broth. An oj-ster stew, a glass of light
beer and a corncob pipe will keep youi
blue cjes blue to any weather, as a jounj
poet of our acquaintance puts it.
Some one vviltes to us from Biowns
Mills In the Pines to ask the address of
that magazine, "Love, Courtship and Mar
riage," which is Farmington, Mich. Pining
away, evidentlj.
Our correspondent adds that the maga
zine "must be something entirely new."
No, dear friend, not new, but (liko all such
enterprises) the oldest thing In the world.
In these days when so manj ladles have
abandoned the charming frailties of their
sex, we are pi and to state that this news
paper boasts in its women's department
two delightful joung lady editors who aro
afraid of mice and thundei storms. Pei
haps thej' are the only two left In Phila
delphia? In any case, that disposes of ,the old
tradition that the women's pages of news
papers are edited by elderly bearded men
stained with nicotine.
Have you ever noticed the little glass
cylinders of paper drinking cups that are
often found in hotels and railway stations?
They have a slot for the Insertion of a
coin, and by this slot is the following in
scription: Insert penny or nickel.
These naive machines are made bj' the
Infllvidual Drinking Cup Company, ot New
York, and we think that only a New
Yoiker would be bo profligate as to put in
a nickel when a penny would do. Cer
tainly no Philadelphlan would fall for
that.
Have jou ever met a man who could
define or describe the colors known to
our wives as beige and taupe? We be
lieve that beige is the color of Senator
J. Ham Lewis's whiskers, but we are not
sure.
That German retreat specialist seems to
be In his element.
It is a consoling thought, as we sit and
gloom over our typewriter keys, that at
the same Instant some poor German hu
morist on a Berlin paper is trying to spade
out a merry quip about the Hlndenburg
line. Geman morale must be kept up sat
any expense even at the expense of the
truth.
Speaking of humorists, Captain Frank
lin P. Adams, the well known wit, is now
doing confidential work In Department
G-2-B at Pershing's headquarters In
France. G-2-B, we presume, stands for
Giving it to the Boches. The American
Press Humorists at their recent conven
tion sent a message of friendliness to
F. P. A., to which he replies:
It's a grand game to be in, and It Is
worth the privation of bathing In a split
of Marne water to know, at first hand,
that nothing In the world can keep us from
walloping the bochej or, as we uncouth
warriors, in our slangy way, call him, the
enemy.
If Harry Lauder really wants to alt In
Parliament, as a news Item says, he cer
tainly will be elected. We can't Imagine
any constituency that could resist him.
BOCRATEB.
t-t, f
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Twri QTyviaiHi-... sv
7 OUR SUPfcR-GUN speaks " rt-8
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tf?5 ? P . t&esa' s?rS''?l imsSh? M
'"'il,!S81p -i
THE REAL GASOLINE MARTYRS
They Are the Relatives and Casual Acquaintances of
Motorcar Owners Who Will Be Deprived
of Their Free Sunday Ride
r
By SIMEON STRUNSKY
A LEAGUE of Relatives, Friends and
Casual Acquaintances of Automobile
Owners East o the Mississippi Is In process
of organization for the purpose of protesting
ngalnst the fuel administration's restriction
on the use of gasoline on Sundays On the
basis of 4,000,000 motorcars In the eastern
United States the membership of the new
league mav be estimated at anv where from
35 000.000 to 50,000.000 souls In rpturn the
fuel ndmlnlstiator can count on the sup
port of about 4,000,000 people cast of the
Mississippi, that is to say, the automobile
On behalf of the League of Friends. Rela
tives and Casual Acquaintances, etc, the fol
lowing brief has heen presented:
.First. This being a war for democracy,
the interests ot the majority should pre
vail For every automobile owner who will
save about $1 98 worth of gas on Sundaj-.
five relatives, friends and casual acquaint
ances will bo deprived of a much needed
holiday In the great open.
Second It follows from the preceding
that every Sunday the automobile relieves
the strain on the railroads to the extort of
five comparative stranger's
Third. It follows from the preceding that
the railway fare saved by the comparative
strangers may be Invested In war-savings
stamps.
Tourth Apother gain for the A. S S
ensues from food economy practiced by
said five comparative strangers, since the
automobile owner usually pays for dinner
at the roadhouse.
Fifth To win the war we must have
perfect unity at home. Disagreeable neigh
bors have developed the most lovable
qualities with the arrival of one's machine
from tho factory. Families have been re
'unlted by the purchase of a machine; ono
member of the family attending to the
purchaso and the others brothers-in-law,
cousins, nephews by marriage, etc at-
tending to the reuniting
Sixth Technical skill will help to win
the war. Every automobile owner be
comes a center of Instruction in gas-engine
principles : the leasf we can do with a host
is to display an Intelligent Interest In the
way the one-man top Is operated by press
ing the adjustable dingus on the carbu
retor. Motor guests never weary of in
quiring Into the slightest details of auto
mobile construction except when taking in
gas; at Mich times they become absorbed
In the scenery until due paj-ment has been
made.
Signed by the All-East-Misslsslpplan Con
gress of Soviets of Cousins, Uncles,
Brothers-in-law, Neighbors. Club Mem
bers, Fellow Commuters and Associated
Golfers and Bowlers of Private Automobile
Owners of the United States of America.
EXTRACT from Die Weser Zeltung: "The
straits to which the American people
have been reduced may be gathered from the
following, a rescript by their food dictator;
petrol majr not be used In any soft of food
preparations, except , at- Sunday dinner; but
even then It may not be used in sauces dr
salad dressing or on Plum pudding or as a
surrogate for alcoholic drinks.'"
THE large and growing class of cltlrens
who havp taken to imitating the White
House epistolary style are herewith re
minded that by going back to "May I" for
"'May I not" they will lose nothing In clears
n'eas and contribute their 15 per cent to the
conservation of white paper. -
ffrpHOU shalt not kill" Is among the orlg
i Inal Ten Commandments. Last Sunday
a visiting clergyman In New York offered a
substitute Decalogue of his own. specifying
within the limits of a single commandment
no less than three classes of Germans who
must be court-martialed and shot as soon as
practicable. The other nine commandments
maintain sf high level of vlndicttveness on the
part of this visiting Jehovah. On fhe other
hand, It must be admitted that the original
Tables of the Law would occupy only one
fifth the epace devoted by the New York
Times of Monday to the new revelation.
" . m ." .. I
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OUR SUPER-GUN SPEAKS
A aij a
published amid sheets of flame and the noise
of a mountain In travail, but It must have
been a fair imitation when the assembled
Presbyterians "were stirred to frequent and
enthusiastic applause."
A competent observer has suggested that
the frequency with which Germany and her
Kaiser are being consigned to' hell by our
clergymen Is largely due to the fact that
only In times like these can a clergyman tell
people to go to hell with proprlet-. There
Is also the pathetic desire to show that a
minister of tho Gospel can see red with the
worst of us.
I
T HAS not j'et been determined whether
the military critics know more about the
strategy of the Hlndenburg line than Gen
eral Foch does What is certain Is that the
field marshals and commander-in-chief write
ever so much belter than the war correspond
ents; and perhaps we might throw in edi
torial writers. Take Pershing's general order
to the Americans who fought on the Marne:
"In conjunction with our allies, j-ou counter
attacked. The Allies gained a brilliant vic
tory that marks the turning point of the
war. You did more than to give to the Allies
tho support to which, ns a nation, our faith
was pledged. You proved that our altruism,
our pacific spirit, and our sense of Justice
have not blunted our virility or our courage."
Of course, It Is Just possible that nome
former newspaperman now on Pershing's
staff Is the author: but just possible Some
body in the scribbling line must be the real
author of "Lafaj'ette, nous volla!" one of the
poor spotlight phrases nf the war wished
upon Pershing, and by him not denied be
cause otherwise engaged In making cruel and
pertinent remarks about the fuselage on the
De Haviland 4,
INCIDENTALLY, what does Pershing meap
by lefenlng to "our allies" when he
knows that they are not our allies? We are
only lending them food and money and bor
rowing from them aeroplanes and guns; we
are only fighting bj- ,thelr side, and we are
only going to make peace together; but they
are not our allies. Pershing should have
said, "In conjunction with the nations of the
Entente, whose commander-in-chief is our
commander-ln chief," and sternly repressed
any attempt to wink on the part of his adjutant-stenographer.
AUTHORS of the new school of auto
biographical fiction can easily save the
15 per cent of white paper required under
the, new regulations by beginning their story
four j-ears after the- hero's birth Instead of
seven jears before.
SirpHE chemical works north of Roeux are
JL again In our possession,' wrote Field
Marshal Halg last Monday, Without doubt
the most tragic chemical works In the whole
history of chemistry; a ciuclble of flame and
blood arid flesh stewing In an atmosphere ot '
poison gas ar.a smoxe cioua, during the bit
ter months of, last autumn 'at the tip of the
Hlndenburg llrta; and' now again. There are
war Industries and war Industries, The bulk
of them are anywhere from 50 to 6000 miles.
behind the battleljne; only to a few has fallen
the marvelous advertising advantages of
meeting the war face to face. There are
tho chemical works at Roeux, t There Is ,tne
famous licorice factory at Kut-el-Amara,
whose fall probably meant the fall of the
Turkish rule In Mesopotamia. There was a
certain fatal brewery In Flanders, at Gav
relle, I think, around which flowed a more
ominous compound than malt and hops.
There was a certain brickyard, near Notre
Dame de Lorette, If ,1 'remember correctly.
And there was the ferryman's house on the
Yser, whose only rival In history will be
the ferryman of the Styx.
PROHIBITION has been postponed till
July 1, 1919, In order to save $900,000,000
In liquor taxes required by the forthcoming
revenue bill. This
common sense, making
the devl dlsgoE
ore shooting him. Only
a fool wom
i demon that.
golden egg
w .-x-ee
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THE GARDEN
THERE were many flowers In my
mother's garden, t -1
Sword-leaved gladiolus, taller far than I,
Sticky-leaved petunias, pink and purple
flaring, Velvet-painted pansles staring at the
sky;
-
Scentless portulacas crowded down the
borders,
White and scarlet-petaled, satin-rose
and gold,
Clustered sweet alyssum, lacy white and
scented,
Sprays of gray-green lavender to keep
till you were old;
In my mother's garden were green-leaved
hiding places,
Nooks between the lilacs oh! a pleasant
place to play;
Still my heart can hide there, still my. eyes'
can dream It,
Though the long years lie between and ,
I am far away;
When the world Is hard now, when the
city's clanging
Tires my ears and tires my heart and
dust lies everywhere,
I can dream the peace still of the soft
wind's shining,
I can be a child still and hide my. heart
from care.
Lord, If still that garden blossoms In the
sunlight,
Grant that children laugh there now
among its green and gold,
Grant that little hearts still hide Its rnem-i
orled sweetness,
Locking one bright dream away for light
when they are old! t
Margaret Wlddemer, In "The Old Road
to Paradise."
A Quarler-Crown Prince
A facetious London journalist has nick
named the Kaiser's unfortunate offspring the
Half-Crown Prince, if he had ever traveled
on this side of the Atlantic he would have
known that the name Is unsuitable. A half
crown is worth twice as much as thirty cents.
Montreal Star.
WhatJDo You Know?
QUIZ
1. Who Is president of the American Federation
of Labor?
z. What Is at rhea? j
S. What Is tha meaning of the word ulnlate?
4. Where Is the Alhambra?
5. Who aald, "There waa nerer ret philosopher
that conld endure the toothache patiently"?
, What la the capital of Kentucky?
1. What neoflle Inrented the gam ot nareheil?
S. What la the natlie State-of William O Mc
Adoo? 0. Who painted the. "Slatlne. Madanna" and
m-hatk III that ak1af.hBaf ajt nlatt-llsaaS, ! data!)
10,
Is New York officially rated as a State era
commonncaiinT
, t
Answers to Yeifjerday's Quit
1, President Wilson .Is commander-in-chief of
the army and nary of the United States.
S. Pallmnaeat la wrltlnar material an whleTa
earlier writing haa been erased to make,
room for new or on which new script cot-I
era an old one. '
3. Spain is ruled by it Bourbon royal house which
first came Into power In that country la
Jiw. . ,
4. nasals Is a dish popular In Scotland, and
consists or heart, lanes and liver. t aheap H
knlljtfl In ma.w iwllh anae. Aatmaal. ata iTi
C Tknn.a. I. It, klf Im.h .! n iM.lnal V1tH
w. . ..w....- -r-,"'l -;",- -r" "" ". ;
port me Irani iiiaoai,
0, The constellation of the Dip
tha Great Bear and Char!
iper lsal
lea's Wi
a tallee-
1, Edwin Forrest, one of the most celebrated"1
f A maaaHoan 4mm area! I M m aaraaaa kAian In 'aateaatt-
adalphla. ' Wj
m a JI..U 1. .. 4..m .1.11 ... .!!.. .W.4.J l.k - r. J
O. A MIU1 W MVC M,, liaiMK.If PHMWMI iva I
trees.
9. The ocarina, a musical wind Instrument, te) k ,
popularly caueq ine "sweet paisw.' -,
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