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EVENING TELEGRAPH
USLIC LEDGER COMPANY
MJS H. K, CUHTIS, Pkidihi
M. I.udlnrton. vies President! John O.
epadrv and Truurrt Phllln H. Collins.
Williams, John J. spuraeon. Directors.
V' EDITOniAIi DOAUD!
.-ii"CTos I!. K Ci'nTis. Chairman
'E. fiittujr
nmor
' C MARTIN.... Central Business Manacer
Wished dally at PiallO lacmju ltulldlnj-.
innepenaenco tiuunrr. i-niiaasipma.
i CUSTRlt,
isrosa
and Chestnut Streets
. Press. Union nulldlnc
WTIO CITI..
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OIT ......
OUtl
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'AiniHfiTON noitAr. .... ...
'N, uor, Pennsylvania Ave, ana nin ni.
YoK Ilcsr.AU The Sun Uulldlnc
f tJUrqiO-l BCREiU ..London Times
lly&r-'i SUnscniPTlON TERMS
If 5 Trio EvNlso 1'lst.io LtDOBn l served to sub-
criners In rnuaueipnia and surrounaina- iowns
l Hit rate or. twelve u-i cenia per ween. paysoio
Uto mall to points outside of Philadelphia. In
l unnea Biaies, vansnn. or ununi .-.mips i
Ions, postage free, fifty (SO) cents ir month.
ffx. (IS) dollars per year. piblc In advance.
'To. all foreltn countries one (til dollar per
kAnfh.
twv"4'NftTlr .Riihsrrlhers wlshlns- sddress chanffed
v-LA.. ftrttifti 1vm aIH I. vll a nttf t,aart.
-HW -"BELt, 300D WALMJT KFASTONE. MAIN J000
Shi $7". Attdrtas all cotiimmilcndoin to Kvrntno Public
I f.Wti t, 1 Anmr tnitrnt-Hrtt'ttr Rtmr. Phllndrlvhlet.
Ij,'l " ' .-. .. .. ....... w -' - -
ai)?' Member of the Associnlcil Press
-.Ar i - . . ....... ......... . ..
feBW'TIB ABSUVlATtill fJtnSH IS CXCIII
Hik.'ltrtii ntlllrd In thr. ttsr or I cnubllcation
'i&ni'aU ncics dispatches a edited to it or not
u?iV.y Otherwise credited In this pnper, and also
TSfUinc local netcs iiubllsnca tncrctn.
SJz'All riphts of rcpitoiicattan oj special ins-
rhllidelphls. Fridir. July 3. 19IS
SVi GOVERNOR EDGE AND OTHERS
X iOVERNOn KUCU of New Jersey 1ms
?-w announced finally that he will not enm
.'"! palgn vocally for the United States Sen-
S i- a fi. Hn will lot his record do tho tdlkins
v!- -i. and denend on the discrimination of the
lS ', people to elect him. If Mr. Edce is as far.
1 a sigmea as nis accision seems iu uraiuuc
'xi$,j' ? deserves election The wisest politician
nowadays is the one who &ays least.
Permanent Issues, dependable issues, og-
feat Issues are as yet nowhere In sipht for
j?' about the tariff and States' rights have
$ifi lost their meaning since the war beaan.
Sj-ftThe needs and demands of the country
Sv Inay change overnight.
"Wli Te tl,BBD (tme. .LAfA Hln MmAH 4 1 rt t hQVA
1 preceded them, the Fourth of July in Penn
sylvania would have been nothing more
., than an incidental and luminous bad;
y ground for the aspirations of Judge Bonnl-
I 01 well and Senator Sproul, for Governor
f Brumbaugh and the Vares, for Mr. Penrose
.,, and the chosen workers. But these are
:J(s new times and most of the leading candi-
hTt, uates were restrainca in tneir manner and
OtV "icir uLieiuuces. iney uian I Know
' "! :
,-jW, rne best Fourth of Julv celehratinir was
flif one ln ,he ne'Khborhood of Chateau-Thierry.
W4IAT IS WELL BEGUN IS HALF DONE
'f&'T.fl'EMBERS of twenty-two of the flfty-
..- one draft boards hate got together for
', th purpose of agreeing on a uniform In-
;JffMerpretatlon of the regulations.
T'rf An attemPt will be made ne.i
fv?tti representatives of all tl
next week to
all the boards
SVjtogether, when decisive action will bo
ml11
.$; xaig is a good beginning in the work of
iMaOVlnc all rnimp fnr r1U'e.1ttcfnr.t(nti i-ttl.
'VWs?. ." . -" " --"
jw "e aecisions or the boards. There has been
LjaJ 'wide difference of opinion on the meaning
k'Z f of the rules. In the absence of explicit
t,j directions from Washington there is room
for differences of opinion. Agreement can
li. Mchcd by compromise and concession,
iwi auu wnen me Doaras ao agree no draiteu
iik man will nave excuse for complaint.
',? Tho boards ro hpndp.l In tli i-f,.ht rK.A-
XUon.
F,!J 3 lt tne food administration could eliminate
Lv i ucuiiti aiiii me uuicr &or tnere uouia
Jjy.be rest for ears made weary by the restless
'y?l volc of the kicker.
l'1 SOUELCH THE TICKET r.OIir.E
U- CHICAGO has outlawed ticket specula-
f . '-' tors by providing that no tlrl.-Pt shall
Mft-'be honored unless sold nt the printed price
Vpana at the box olilce. A similar ordinance
V. iHtfa a Intraitiipsd 1.Il. i. cat' 4. 1.n X... -T I.
! Board of Aldermen. Our own City Coun
EjnU.cita should follow suit.
tgp jfi The sidewalk speculator is only a spo-
4J- raaic nuisance in I'liiladelphln. But the
rj$ increased prices charged nt ticket agencies
;'V 'are a persistent grievance. It has been
jpJ,w both afllrmed and denied that the theatres
JJ share the rake-off when tickets nro cniri
'At hotel stands at an advance of flfftv rents
or a dollar over th rpcnlnr i-.rlrA rh
k'Tl m.v.itA i,n...-.An n i.
jMt v;uw'1 ,,M"c'i "" rare now me rapa-MV-Cious
same ii plajed The extermination
-X-?rT o a her frniiira l tli iccnn
S.r "" -""
mfr'-
Kf Btlne
ermany missed her chance to have a
Fourth of July
INDISPENSADLES
;p yrnHEUE are clastea of public servants ln
t -- this city which should under no clrcum-
if '.stances be disturbed by the work-or-flght
'iT'W Department.
i(, Tne PulUc would sadly miss the folk
"v vmv ttwvu i.iuuiictis iu me tunuuciurs
tf of the P. R. T. We could not spare the
Ftt;44 ,4voted workers who keep the trolley
i" 'erossinfrs ln such a statet nf pYnntaltn nrriAT
Vjb,(jiii1 repair that the cars make no noise
wiever to Keep people aw-Ke at nights.
rEi. Oee mav ba riprmlttp.l tri hnn rl.il ti,c
t -- . - ....... ..,. ...
ft will not take these benefactors of
4r kind, or the bellhops who stem).' re-
"T fr " t..a v.. ..v Makv.o niiu uctCi
't-put their thumbs In the soup.
fc '$, 'Tne weather on tho Fourth provided a
Pf tjcnatle rebuke for those speakers who seized
"7 "Wii? occasion to criticize the Government
nte w earner wus rair.
v?-V '
i '" FOR SHAME!
IERE are 177,000 coal miners In Amer
ica. Thlrtythree thousand of them hav
drafted Into the aimy.
takes two years to make a miner. A
iter can be made In three months.
President Lincoln once said he could
Ice a major general with a stroke of
pen.
SOne of the gravest scandals of the war
' ' &m been that arising out of the lack of
..jHsight of the men responsible for ex-
AC men engaged ln coal mining from
draft.
ought to be ashamed of them-
i 'End to do works meet for repent-
tTjr, vefMirlntT their blunders without
r '' o.s'.f-
,- A. ' ' ' 1
j. j ! s. t -t
te
1 ?-
,!
"SPEAKING FOR ALL MANKIND"
Prolilent Wilson's Mount Vernon Address a
Declaration of Independence by Hu
manity From All T) rants and
Their Servitors
"M'O AMERICAN can lead President
- Wilson's Fourth of July nddrcss
at Mount Vernon and fall to feel n thrill
of pride in the war mission to which our
nation is consecrated.
One hundred nnd forty-two years hro
the Founders ndopted the immortal docu
ment which has been the Charter of
Democracy throughout the world. Yester
day Mr. Wilson revised or, better still,
supplemented it, so that it becomes tho
charter of all mankind for the future.
What Washington and his colleagues
did then for America nnd the republics
which were born, like this nation, out of
the urge toward liberty and free insti
tutions Mr. Wilson is doing now for
humanity.
This is neither n prophecy nor a boast.
It is a plnin statement of fact, nnd
nobody need read the speech twice to
realize it.
Masterly in diction, simple in utterance,
noble in thought, a child can grasp its
significance. There are phrases in it
which will last as long as men love free
dom. Its message goes straight to the
heart; it will quicken the pulse of the
people everywhere it is heard; it appeals
alike to the soldier in tho trenches, the
mother at home, the workman in tho
shop, the statesman in the forum and
the scholar in his study. It is the vocal
thought for which mankind has been
groping in the welter of war. It is the
death warrant of tyranny cloaked under
the baneful power of autocracy.
Once and for all the President has
disposed of the fiction still sedulously
nuitiired in some corners of the earth
that the United States had a selfish in
terest in going to war. If there are
"capitalists" hero or abroad who still
secretly believe that some mercenary
gain can ba wrung out of the advantage
which will surely lie with America and
the Allies when the war is ended, they
are fools, fooling only themselves. If
there are statesmen in Europe who still
believe that America's idealistic motives
in the war can be turned to serve the
cunning means of conquests either in
territory or trade, they arc simpletons.
If there are gibbering radicals who still
believe that America is the tool of adroit
European politicians in high places, they
are lunatics, hopelessly mad.
Across the banners o' militant democ
racy the one sentence which is the sum
of the President's great words should be
blazoned for the deluded peoples of the
Central empiies to read at every firing
line this:
What ivc seek is the reign of law
based upon the consent of the gov
erned and sustained by the organized
opinion of mankind.
What answer can Prussianism make?
How can kaiser or king longer betray the
rights of his subjects in the face of
.-uch a clean and candid declaration?
Where is the Lenine or Trotsky, in or
out of Europe, so glib of tongue as to
falsify that doctrine? How can Kultur
frame a reply, however r.pecious, without
standing self-condemned before every
fair and sincere lover of the rights of
man?
Specifically, it is possible for the casuist
to read too much or too little into the
intention of the President by applying
the old conventions of diplomacy. One
might say, for example, that the second
paragraph of the President's four gener
alized but still definite declarations of
"ends for which the associated peoples
of the world are fighting" is aimed at
some of the statesmen of the Allied coun
tries who have not yet disabused their
minds of the hope that rational and per
sonal profit may be reaped from the
enormous expenditures of life and wealth
flung into the breach of battle. Or, he
could argue with the nicety of the
academician, that it is not easy to apply
abst-act principles to particular instances
where the situation is so complex and
variously confused by national traditions,
jealousies and aspirations. But this is all
beside the purpose.
Inspired by the exalted truth, compact
within the brief address of the President,
every delegate to the peace conference
which will sit at the close of the war
should fini no obstacle to a settlement
which will preclude for all time a repeti
tion of the horrors through which man
kind is now passing. No other course can
succeed.
everybody In Philadelphia said
morning, "it seems just like Monday."
this
THE FARMERETTE: HER MEANING
JTURMERETTES, lament the telegraph
wires, are not proving altogether satis
factory In southern Jersey. The captains
of agriculture havo found some of them to
be too frivolous. And so the stern routine
of the soil was disturbed and work was
hindered, and from the region of Wood
bury many of the girls havo been sent
home to Philadelphia.
Now, no one of all the millions who havo
fled away from farm life will be disposed
to agree altogether with tho farmers
about Woodbury. A little more of frivolity
and a little less of the rod of iron might
long ago have made farm life tolerable to
the multitudes who have left it for the
illusive happiness of cities. Farmerettes
may be frivolous. But the farms are not
frivolous enough.
How iriany let' their patriotic ardor past
with the day?
WAR LESSONS IN GOVERNMENT
VOLUMES are being, written of the
changes that experience may dictate In
the theory and methods of industry after
the war. Nothing Is being said of the
possible leuctions in politics,
What will the Senators and the Congress-
, y . '.....? . , v ' " V -1. -
-. - j r . T-r - 'f i M'
VENIJG PUBLIC LB0aii3BPHILADErJite A? V
men and tho Governors of tho future, be
Hko? Will they be wiser, abler, more
sincere?
Ships had to be built. Industry had to
be reorganized on a scale unbelievably
vast The finances of tho country wero
shifted to a new basis. Armies were or
ganized, trained, transported. New traded,
Industries and professions were created.
We havo yet to hear of a Congressman or
a Senator or a Oovernor who was able to
participate nctlvcly ln this general task.
Politicians talk and criticize, but they sol.
dom execute. That may bo what they are
for We gain something by being nwnro
of this aspect of the matter even at this
late date.
Congress Is worrying nbout Its ncatlon;
but think of the Reichstag. It nmy have to
sit until 1020.
TWO WOMEN
"DOTH women were of middle ago. One
-a- had a handbag stuffed with diamonds,
cash and Liberty Bonds, which repre
sented, nil told, about $75,000 ln spendable
money. The other had a bag thnt held
seven cents, the lemnnnts of a ham sand
wich nnd a photograph of her son who
Is in the army her principal worldly pos
sessions. The handbags were accidentally
exchanged In a New York tnllway station.
She who lost her son's picture cried
most bitterly. He was her prince nnd his
name was Dlnny, she said, and he was In
France nnd the picture showed him In a
sweater she had knitted with her own
hands! "Oh, my dear, my dear," she
cried when the picture was re-stored, "I
thought I hnd lost jou'" and thrust the
bag of riches back to Its owner as If It
held poison.
It Is futile to discuss things like this.
There Is a world of wonder and feeling
nnd tenderness of which a mere man may
know nothing though he live to be a
hundred. At the occasional revelation of
its mysteries one lifts one's hat silently
and pahses on to simpler matters like war
and world politics nnd the contentions of
kings.
Tho "mill" In our million now in France
aspires to grind as "exceeding small" as that
of the Bods, and at a higher rate of speed
THE PARADE OF NATIONS
T)RESIDENT WILSON. In his epochal
- address at Mount Vernon, said thnt the
fate of the world must rest ultimately upon
the organized opinion of mankind. In the
parade of nations on Broad street ester
ila it was possible to perceive how various
a thing the opinion of mankind Is and has
eer been how rich, how truly valorous,
how ennobled by eagerness, hope and faith.
No one who saw yesterday's procession
of Americans of foreign birth will be able
toon to forget it. In the garb and In the
'magery of the various groups were echoes
if all hlstorj. And ue were permitted to
tee the beauty nnd glory of some of the
things from which those people have turned
for their new Americanism. Heie were the
representatives of nations that hae been
almost exterminated in their endless right
for liberty nnd for honor ln other parts of
the world.
The Sorbs and Rumanians, the Poles and
the Scandinavians ha e this great tradi
tion to make them proud und to make
them brave
Tow Americans are accustomed to think
ing intelligently nf the Chinese. Few
know them as the aie as a nation of
wise and gentle people, passionately de
voted to the things of loveliness. The
Chlne-e grutip in esterday' profession
uppeartd, as one observer wrote it. "With
the swift and sudden loveliness of a fairj
tale ' The imaginative symbolism with
which thev lit Droail stieet flowers fiom
twenty centuries of philosophy and artistry.
Wu Know enough of France, England and
ltalv to inspire us. Uut of the lemoter
peoples we kliow too little, yesterday's
pageant was udtiuate to show how ar
dent l mankind cvoiyvvhere has pursued
the ideals of lreedom, honor and wisdom.
The procession of Ihe newer Americans
showed how much of richness we may
h.ive ultimately in our civilization. It said
;is plain as words that we must justify the
laith .md the devotion of these people by
guarding our vigoious Ideals b keeping
them vei high.
1'nhappy Austria! Walloped by the Ital
ians and luivtled backward under the heel
of (Jmuany !
THE FUTURE OF THE HERALD
pODMAN WANAMAKER, James Still--'-
man and Eugene Hlggins are, to pub
lish the New York Herald as executors of
the will of the late James Cordon Bennett
and later as the managers of a special
corporation formed to publish the paper
and conduct a memorial home for New
York journ lllsts founded in honor of Mr.
Bennett's father.
The fate of this newspaper, which has
been in tho control of father and son for
eighty three years a family record un
eqpaled ln American Journalism Is a mat
ter of national Interest. It was the evi
dent intention of Mr. Bennett that the
family name should continue to be con
nected with the Herald for all time, as
the corporation is created as "a perpetual
memorial."
When anything goes
Twenty Times wrong a Russian says
l'ny "nlchevo," which
means "never mind!"
How many opportunities Russia has had to
say that while Lenine and TrotBky have
been on the Job.
, Hoetzendorf, the de
Kxperts! feated Austrian gen
eral, is being called a
stuck-up Ignoramus ln the Geiman press. The
German press Is familiar enough with the
species to make its verdict generally accept
able. "I notice. Mr Inter
The Alibi locutor, that the Aur-
trlans are putting their
troubles right up to Emperor Karl."
"How's that. Brother Tambo?"
"Why, the paper says that 'they ascribe
their recent defeat solely to the rain.' "
The University Mu
Oli, Hoy I seum may have a
treasure in the re
cently acquired nillar of Pharaoh's palace,
but a hunk of the one at Potsdam would
enrich It still more.
The Germans are planning a coup in
Russia. In Russia they speak of It as a
coop.
"Polish problem solved" chirps a head
line, but It's hard to credit in these dijs
of ten-cent shines.
. '- 'a- ."- j s
LAURELS FOR LOTI
I
T IS not easy to connect Captain Louis
Marie Jullcn Vlaud, formerly of the
French navy nnd now winner of a special
citation ln army orders, with Pierre Lotl,
subtle spinner of perfumed phrases, cham
pion of the exotic nnd the antique, creator
of wistful lomancos of Polynesia, Japan
and Turkey. In the picturesque life of
the exquisite literary craftsman, whose
well-known nom do plume originated in
languorous far-flung Tahiti, art and arms
have always curiously clashed.
As a naval ofllcer his mission ln pre
war days was often to carry progress and
order to distant lands. Captain Vlaud
honorably performed his tnsk and then,
as tho better known Lotl, he wrote tho
swan song of fading chnrms in once Idyllic
renlms fast sullied with "civilization." He
criticized French rule ln the Society
Islands nnd Cochln-Chlnn, exalted the most
un-European customs of the Turk and
roundly berated the English for submerg
ing the Phllno temples by tho construc
tion of the monumental Assouan dam.
A CAREER so paradoxical has warranted
explanation Since the beginning of
tho war Lotl has persistently provided one
by pointing out that as u literary artist he
might have written things which he would
be ready to tepudlate as a patriot. 1
But such a sacrifice is needless.' Gems
like "The Mnrrlage of Lotl," "Disen
chanted" or "Madame Chrysantheme"
have their secure place In art. That their
author now puts this mistress secondary
to patriotism Is sufficiently proved by his
Government's recognition of his distin
guished recent services.
The whole situation Is typical of his
heroic fatherland nnd recalls the case of
Anntole Irance, whose acid pen satirized
the whole course of French history in
"Penguin Island" and then wroto passion
ately ln defense of his country In "On th"
Path of Glory." In a land of literary
masters, patriotism conies first. Fr.uite
tho scoffer, Lotl the delicate prose poot,
heed Its r-ill
THE READER'S VIEWPOINT
Blarney
To the Editor of the Ilvi ninp 1'ubllc I.cdpcr:
Sir Blaine !
one of the sweetest words In the English
language
An art ln making the world brighter and
happier.
The only thing above all others that makes
a diplomat worthy of the name.
It has no guiding rule, but takes care of
Itself ln every situation.
A persuasiveness that ridicules the word
and covris the Intent.
Impossible to discern even by the cleverest
and jut as elllcaclous when used with them.
A gift of the gods and can be used EClen
tlflcally only when used sparingly.
A food to the egotistical.
A crude thing Foim-tlmcs. but never ap
parent as such.
When crudely handled it becomes a parody
nnd acts accordingly.
It never fails to work unless the subject
is a "dead one."
It's n padded club both to the weak and the
strong and especially useful to the physically
weak.
It Is often misconstrued to mean "bull,"
hut such construction Is a crime against its
fair name.
It Is sometimes truth and sometimes not,
but never a lie, because a He is the weapon
of a blackened soul, while Blarney's disciple
must needs be clean of mind.
It absolutely requires clean thoughts to
wield successfully Its mighty power.
It has prevented and will prevent the holo
caust of war, and whenever war has hap
pened Blarney was either asleep or his dis
ciples were woefully outnumbered by the
children of hell.
A son of Truth and with Truth's omnipo
tent backing.
A soothing lullaby to the fretful and an
encouragement and a stimulant to the weary.
Universally defined as deceit, but such a
definition is a malicious calumny.
Impossible of possession by the Ignorant
where Ignorance is a mental defect and not
the lack of book learning.
A snake cha,rmcr
Solomon's main claim to being considered
a wise man.
Possessed more or less by all peoples, but
seoms to be partial to shamrocks and sliil
lalahs. T. II. C.
Philadelphia, July 4.
Reu?e of Waste Paper
To the rditor n) the livening Public Ledyer'
Sir I noticed In our paper on June 23
an article stating that beef steak cot less
than writing paper, that till papers arc being
affected owing to the supply of raw material
from which paper Is made becoming ex
hausted and calling the attention of the pub
lic to the wastage of paper, nnd that there
must be a halt. Who is wasting Ihe paper?
Tho public? In my opinion, no I The manu
facturer of paper is to blame to a great
extent by not turning back Into circulation
news print, book stock and writing paper
instead of using this class of waste paper in
the manufacture of paper boxes, etc This
is where ihe waste comes In: common fiber
can be used for the manufacture of paper
boxes, etc I know that 50 per cent of news
print and book stock can be reclaimed with
out any deterioration to the stock treated.
Probably the manufacturer of paper knows
the same, but is it that it pays hhn better
to use waste- as stated on the manufacture
of boxes, etc.. and gouge the public In price
for the finer qualities of papers? If there has
to be a halt called upon wastage of paper,
start at the head and not at the tall end of
it. The public cannot be saddled with every,
thing that comes down the pike.
THOS. U. HARRISON.
Philadelphia, July S.
If this correspondent can tell the paper
manufacturers how to extract the carbon
printing Ink from waste newspapers so that
the stock cun be used again they will be glad
to hear from him. Editor of the Evenino
Public Ledqer
Nationality of Noted Men
To the Editor of the Evening Public Ledger:
Sir Kindly let me know the correct na
tionality through your valuable paper of the
following men: General Foch, General Per
fettl, ln charge of the Allied aero welfare:
Bartholdl, maker of the Liberty statue, and
John Sousa. rj, . P.
Philadelphia, June 25.
General Foch is a Frenchman, born In
the Basque country In the south of France.
Major, not general, Perfettl Is an Italian.
Bartholdl was an Alsatian, born in Alsaca
when It belonged to France. John Philip
Sousa Is an American of Portuguese descent.
Editor of the Evenino Punuc I.EoaEn.
I THE DAY AFTER
AF
FTER Thanksgiving, the Fourth of
July,
Or any kind of a fun-tjay,
Each of us says, with a puzzled eye,
It feels just like a Monday.
But after a fellow's been out on a bust
Or any old kind of heyday,
He never jays, as he hunts for dust,
It feels Just like a pay day.
, ' M T- rs Wi . S
h ons "w
FBIIM Jtfit " 5, IfclS i
1 I ! Illl ! ! I I II . .""I ' t S M.'.JS - J-.-i-V - -T i ".
t w wwjm-r-m tit t v - i . i ' i
"Is' ' lli-'Lt1
U
A NOTE FOR
OUR bid friend Doctor Dernburg, who
spent tho first year of the war In this
country trying to disinfect the German
cause In the eyes of the American public,
is now a roaring success in Berlin as &r
Interpreter of the quaint and whimsical
Ideas that obsess the United States. His
leading articles In the Berlin Tagoblatt.
even when reverbed and reverberated Into
English syntax, make merry reading.
APPARENTLY thoughtful Germans are
.still puzzled to know why America en
tered the war. It seems to them incom
prehensible that any one should lesent
such little pranks as the slaughter eit
passenger ships or the devastation of Bel
glum, or the deportation of noncombatants,
or firing on the Red Cross, r- the phos
phorescent and zigzag humor of the sug
gestion that a few million Americans
should be turned over to Mexico If the
latter would make war on us. All these
playful gestures should be endured with
tho patience one accords to a pot mustang
in the front parlor, flicking the cut-glnFs
bonbonnlere over with its tall and putting
a hoof through the panel of the grandfather
clock.
rpHAT we are at war with America,"
JL grieves Doctor Dernburg. "seems al
most like a bad dream." If Germany feelH
that way about it she will do well to look
for tho causes of the bad dream where
such nightmares generally originate, in
seime surfeit of strong, rancid or bitter
dishes. It is ah overplus of the Welsh
rhhit of Prussianism that has given
Doctor Dernburg and his pals this un
wholesome night agony. Tho.Kalser seems
to have wanted to revive the Holy Roman
Empire, to become (in the old phrase) the
Emperor of Almalne. Instead, he is the
Emperor of Ptomaine, and the German
stomach, hardy as It is, will not suffer him
much longer.
THIS strange und incomprehensible dream
that afflicts the Doctor must seem al
most us meaningless and grotesque as the
hoots nnd hisses that greeted him when
ho toured this country In May, 1911. ex.
plaining why the sinking of the Lusllaul.i
was a perfectly genteel act. Unhappy
man! With the utmost good humor nnd
friendliness he climbed platform after pl'U
form, beaming with dulcet and cheery con
siderations. After all. a matter so aca
demic, bo theoretical and remote from pas
slon as the murder of a few hundred
women and children, what was that amoiu
friends? Why shouldn't It bo discussed
amiably, pro and con, pointing out a: thj
end of each paragraph that the Luslt.uila
was really a British cruiser In disguise.'
And that the unfriendliness (If there were
any) was England's for letting American!
travel on her?
And to Doctor Dernburg's cmbr.-aas-ment
and chagrin, his audiences me: him
with yells of anger and scorn.
B
UT after the Doctor returned to Uer-
forgave the boorish Americans for havinr
been discourteous to him. A hasty people,
the Yankees! They had been annoyed
about the Lusltanla because after all uho
was a favorite ship of theirs and they had
been sentimentally attached to her. But
they would get used to that sort of thing,
After the U-boats had sunk a few more
ships Americans would grow accustomed
to the novelty, and even feel a certain
gambling exhilaration In wondering which
ship would go next. So the Doctor turned
his mind to other matters, and created
great satisfaction ln the Fatherland by
T -S
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DR. DERNBURG
i
proving that England had damned herself
forever (among cultivated people) by using
Hindu and other dark-skinned troops to
fight against the white gentlemen who had
raped and burned and drunk their way
through Belgium and France.
GERMANY and America, moans Doctor
Dernburg in the throe of his hideous
dreum, "had neither common borders nor
colliding1 interests." How preposterous,
then, thut two such fraternal and mutually
estimable nutions should be at each other's
throats! Alas. Doctor, It seems to have
been a matter of colliding psychologies.
We have never hnd, nor have we now,
nor will we ever have, any bitterness of
hatred for the German people. We feel
much as a man does when he Is attacked
on the high road by it maniac. The mad
man must bo overpowered, ho must bo held
and bound and the knife ripped from his
hand, though it takes all tho neighbors to
do It. Even In the fury of the scufile we
are too proud to hate the man himself.
But for tho dreadful and unclean and In
human possession that has perverted his
brain and sense we have Infinite pity. In
finite horror. It is that grim spirit of evil
that creeps so often and so subtly through
human affairs. To cleanse the aching
carlh of this poison we have set our teeth
and shall give all, to the end.
WU ARE sorry for the whole anguished
earth, Doctor, but aorrlest of all, per
haps, for you and those of your kind who
have cast the great abilities and fervors
of your manhood into the barren task of
Justifying wrong and sacrificing your
hearts for a bleeding error. We did not
want this war: you yourself were one of
those who by jour endless nratlncs thrust
it unon us. It seems to vou a had dream.
you say : . . uui ere n is over you will
" " " "" " "" uicuui. ll win uo
iu..K...e .cH.uy. ) uoe run uuw
to v.imeeuu-iiuerry .or your jicxi ween-
"" iJue-naiM,
The Letter of the Law
An Illiterate Wisconsin Justice of the peace
used to consult what looked like a law book,
but which was really a mall order cata
logue. One da' u colored person was haled
befoie the -aqulro for drunkenness. The
squire heard the evidence and then, after
opening his book and glancing at It, lined the
prisoner $1.49, to be worked out on the road
nt 25 cents a daj-. As the negro whs being
led away he said to the marshal: "I'se bIio"
a unlucky guy." "Unlucky nothing !" re
plied the marshal. "If the squire had hap
pened to open that book at automobiles In
stead of pants you'd be working on the road
the rest of your life." Galveston Tribune.
Man Wants but Little Here Below
All Turkey now wants
Is the restitution
Of Arabia, Palestine,
Mesopotamia nnd Egypt ;
And the Crimea and Crete.'
Which reminds us
That all we want
Is a couple or three
Million dollars und
A private car and
A limousine und
A summer cottage
By the sounding sea and
A ticket to Atlantic City
And a self-acting Hy-swalter
And a greyhound
And something that'll stop
A sunburned place from stinging
And a silencer that'll
Work on cats
And a large tub o' suds
And an Invitation
To the Kaiser's funeral
And a few mora little
Old trifles like that.
When It comes to Bitting
Down and yearning for thine
Turkey hasn't anything on u.
Macon Telegraph.
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Over the Hills of Home
(Written as a tribute to Corporal Frank B.
l.eterldce, who died In Fruiice. after tola
wounded In aetlon.)
LADDIE, little laddie, como with me over
J the hills,
Whore blossom the white May lilies, and
the dogwood and daffodils:
For tho Spirit of Spring Is calling to our
spirits that love to roam
Over the hills of home, laddie, over the
hills of home.
Laddie, soldier laddie, a call comes over
tho seu.
A call to the best and bravest in the land
of liberty.
Tu shatter the despot'.-, power, to lift up
the weak that fall.
Whistle a song as ou go, laddie, to an
swer your country's call.
Brother, soldier brother, the spring haa
come back again,
But her voice from tho windy hilltops Is
calling your name in vnln;
For never shall we together 'mid the birds
and tho blossoms roam
Over the hills of home, brother, over the
hills of home.
Laddie! Laddie! Laijdle! "Somewhere In
France" jou sleep,
Somewhere 'neath alien flowers and alien
winds that weep,
Bravely you marched to battle, nobly your
life luld down. i
You
unto death were faithful,
yours Is the victor's .crown.
laddie;
Laddie! Laddie! Laddie! How dim Is tho
sunshine grown,
As mother und I together speak softly In
tender tone!
Ad lho "Ps, tnat 'lulver and falter hav
cvcr " smsi theme.
As W6 llst for 'our dear Iost whistle,
laddie, over the hlll3 of dream.
j, Movti ladd,e! How aoon sno'u.j,,
ve cease to wcep
Coud Rjance through the Bolden Rate.
. kVH ,h .., v.Bn,
, . ,,. .,,, j0iv,i
ICl IUC, UUI luto n.Mfc uiui.i.&a, wip
follow you where jou roam.
Over the hills of God, laddie, the beautiful
hills of Home.
Lilian Leverldge, ln "Over the Hlls of
Home and Other Poems."
If hat Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Where Is nnrnard Colleee?
2. Nsno ll' author of "Shins That rasa la th
Nlht."
S. What Is the national nlr nt flermunr?
4. What Is tho Forelen Lesion? i
5. Vtim was the blvtli l'rtkldent of the United
HtatetT
6. What l meant by "CroU lie. duerre"?
7. What l the. hldiest noiironimlssloned sltletr
In tht United States army?
8. Wha was XV. K. Ilenlej?
9. What Is meant br "Inflltrutlon" In a military
ene?
10. What Is VU mul re?
Answers to Wednesday's Quiz
1, Trlxltv CollcBe (America) Is nt Hartford.
Conn.
J. t'onrosetlriit Is known as the Nutrner Slatsi
sometimes as the Uu.idrn Nulmeir Mite. In
rrftrrnie to un nl'iyteil nnkee trick of
umiiufurlurlnr Imitation mitmrat,
g. Ch'iir-J'l! nrorcssi An Important method
UI r.liuti.ut nH.iu.ur irviu llsif..
t. Code Ninifultoiii A en-rdlnulln t.f rrrnrh
till! lows (started between 18(11 und 1K10.
bused in I "Inly tin lluniiin law und siionaored
ru in inn, vii numim
tho flrst llnnsnorts.
UJ III Hiai iiunaiiui tVa
8. Tli rnrUller llssaril ai known UH m
,,f:.F'l,"lV,ll'.l,,"I,.,, "" hnown iih ia
Hnlslit wltliuut feyr and wlthoit re,
nruatli" (ssnj iieur et sans rrprorhe). '
.lun-npe erdl. Italian euuinu.rr, wroto tho
siorw of "Aldu."
Aldii" huh written to order on II, nni
6. UluscDlH!
7, "Aid" u "ril'f'i I" order, on tli turn.
mUslon of the Khrell.r. or Kut. or the
onenluc of tho lloul (lnrfu IIoum Iu
tf'ulro. ln 1171.
. KihcusUoii liiiyi The unnlTeraarv of tli day
on which too llrlllsh etucuuteu Ntw York.
-j y r
rrs J. m
hotrmnrr 20. I7M,. . ' 'Jfl
, Count Hllvii TnroiMU Is minister of sicrlcul- v
ture In tho Austrian falilnet. and nn U- .
Iliiiiile of Kmnrrrr' prii, Ills limn has . "4
betn mentioned lately In comic, tou wtU .r- ,1
,1..- ii,-.... -in..
, "A '"cii.l) Is. the nromlso of it nation" mas
said br tinker Ames 17M.!nW. Auiut!
run ktiitrinan, In n stern en , trolly sHssl
Ureal ilrlUlo. In J19S. ' 3
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