, ' rn'i if- ;; .TOiN(Jpttet7,iiaiS!APHitAD ' r 1 jp M--, F-JS- m$ ! m Aifa- . y-v r , mwHimngi'Ti-iri . ' 1Jitbtrtc&acc : IVENINGnTELEGRAPH ILIC LEDGER COMPANY JS M. V. fitlllTIS. Pinmivt f .ltl4lMfMtt VlKA DaiIjIIiI( f.t. O rotary and Treasurer! Philip ri. Colllna) niiiiimit ionn l cpuriron, uireciora. , EDITORIAL DOAni): t ivxaca xi. n., ucxtib. wnairman I X. SMILEY. Kdltor 1 C. MARTIN.... Oeneral Duelneaa Manager ljAd dally at Tiblio I.ioniui Building. Independence Bouare. 1'hlladelDhla. rnuaueipnia, md Cheatnut Sin am BNTaAL...uroaa ana uneatnut sirppn ITTin UITT Pretn-t'nion Hullitlnc ' T06K... . 2otl Metropolitan Tower orr. .....,. tut Kor.l nutMIng iOCI8..... loos Kullerton nullrllnc C.10O., ..12UJ Tribune Uulldlnc '4ije NCWS DUHKAUS 'tWMBJKOTON TllBICtC. Jt-F if- E- Cor- Pennajlvanla Ave nnd 14th St. f 1JW Tok IlcntAU. The Sun BulMlr.B ffclllpo.x BcjtEAO London Times i-'1e2'm Ktenino Pcblio L.r.Pomt la served to eub- . SM"6 ln Philadelphia and surrounding towna 2 J AM 1Kb Ml. f .0al. a Mil .,. ...,. . Mb n .1.1. kr.mall to' points outalde of Philadelphia, In United States. Canada or united Matea pos llona. poatace free fifty t."i01 centa per month. .' i!V!E'9.lo",,r tier ear. paiable In adtance. t' .'' foreign countries one (ll dollar pr vOiMMMltn. . ' HOTIC& subacrlbera wishing . address changed fnst give old as well aa new address. tBEU, 3000 WALMJT KrASTOXE, MAIV 3000 i Sir-Sjt Atdrtaa all communications to Eicntno Pnblta Wy-"'? -Ledger, Indipcndencc Square Philadelphia. Member of the Associated Press SPi.. ASSOCIATED PIIESS l rrclti- entitled to the use for republication ,u; ; on netrs cfMparcie? crcauca to it or not KK ? eMieru.ie credited In thli navcr-. and also a-t1 . r-ne local newt puomnea incrctn. ,,, fci All-rD 7if o reiM&Ifcaifoit o nrcnl dls- w-'iA; ..--i. . . . . . ..- - - IjL, Jtches 7tcrcl;t nrc nso irsrnci W?F" ' PWIadelphls. Mend.y. Jul; 1. HIS ANNOUNCEMENT The Public Lcdgor Company has purchased The Iening Telegraph, which has had a lonp; and honorable career of fifty-five ycais in this city, and beginning today that newspaper is werged with the Evening Public '' , LEDGER. 4$. It gives the Ledger management tnnpri prnMfirntinn to makn the an- nouncement, and it means that by this rV. t onmbin.it nn tbo EvBS'INO PunLIC EW p&'ifx, Ledger acquires the most complete f . news service of any afternoon paper Eta? 4 m 41itii nnnn(iii Trt fVtn erH'nvol rinitrr- frytj X ll tJUO I.UUI111 a Xir IHL' ?li V,itl IH-1'O association services the United Press, J- , &jC XJCllUtil iivno ttllLA Wilt: .Illf-LIK,- Pjh j tional News afid the exclusive special OS' cable service already enjoyed by the icninii xuul.ii; j-.ujut,i, is auuuu membership in the Associated Press, , Making its facilities unequaled. ' 'Thp Kvkminr Pimt.Tr! T.r.nr:r.n in tVitis '0--K'aWed to offer its readers better KBHrvlce than has ever before been at-y- tempted in the afternoon newspaper 8yt$H f this city. Such impiovement rill continue to be our constant aim ffe-jl,'tnal)'0 service to the people of J5B3f,- rnuaaeipnia. fflfflkv President. 'ffiWOMEN ARE DOING THEIR HALF W r(k BRuU StAflfllnnAn n w A w. A n - M J A . $35 v the aPPeaJ t0 work or f.ght does them Jl!iii tritrfft- Thn nrrlnr tlint mon nnm cnH In th credit. The order that men engaged in EfrjrL.i certain nonessential occupations should Wither enlist In the army or find soniethtntT t? if tfl Irt that n 111 Main tn n-tt-t tliit tno ti hlnh PS--.0 I"'0 effect today, has found the pL tft-women ready to take the places of men ?a? iri Women nrr rnnnlnrr lAVntnrs nnil :nrv. ti . . p,?Fjr in place of Moormen in some o the &viciuds, ana they are willing to do any other .X?JBlirV frtf. rVll1l 1.a. oA H.tA1 In ..Inn 3l'WJj .....V... UllJ W t.W..U ... U.UV. (-V-'k- iUt, ,. .,. oi,, ' J-, All honor to them! THE DAY THAT BINDS il V MB. K-yijAXKiuiiBii is a noDio ora, Dut its fey meaning, as In the case of Gcrmanj. j"jsn be corrupted Into an pxcuse for blind Sia wiurui national seinsnness. L,oe or tjijlberty defies frontiers. The checkerboard rjjsyaarceung out ot tne biodo emuarrassc? tne risarff- nt thnf TaAlnnt rneelnn Thnnrrl, In alkamA eancoa rnt nf tliA mnot Inlti'lrltinl- Ifj'JjtJltlc of countries, France has Ions known t J'vF''11 anew her faith in it in declaring WiyAmp .Fourth of July a national legal holiday Lt,iyii.i 1 lysfjljlearever tne Tricolor ines. f'liwaA'iTHft fnwnlltnont in Amnrl'i la tint nno inect of this act. In its dec nor. slcnift- !$&Cnce it effaces boundary lines, absorbs ?jy ! ocean barriers. "We are thanked for rtOBT am in r ranee e nuur ui iriai, uui most 2Wgnlficant ' all 8 tne partnership in a Mfewninon Joy. 'France has read the Decla- yfWMtUH TiAr.san4nnnn l n e,nle.lt ,. i,nU Li?k, !? aii Vitimfl n nt-lrlo nn rvio i- Vintra nnnn rTj law UUi iiui'iuu jiuu w iuu; iita,v UV.VU' (almially overlooked. Not merely "All KfjCr.'Anirlcans are created enual." but "all gif6m,i Th ring of these deathless words ..i ; aeen uuiireiiiLtfu lu Lilt lull iiv inn Swber of Deputies: "unanimous." ac 'J.'e4rlnc to a Socialist Denut. "on anv Wk tfj&ijtiOTt for the first time in its history." Bt -J AaWwlca is thereby honored, but liberty Sjnt?,, more. "iJOT Reciprocation Is happily under ,-vay tfvjtedom has been born and reborn. We ""t'kalva Bo mnnnnolv nt Its irlrtrlnna m.lnlfo. C.SafiotiB. July 1-1, which is to be duly ob- kfc'K.fri n una tuuuuj, B.iuuiu uo (.'(.arui'u W imk etmpiy in acKnowieagmcnt of a debt of jv tratitude, but as tribute to the supreme J' Mai which civilization is fighting to pre- -V3-i'. ., . , ..... . ..., r ' J"1 orazii nns long ceieoratea uas- .Way," ana it was inevitable that that bile should battle for the cause it ilftes. Holidays purged of prminclal- IV may speed world unity in liberty ( tVian vtrt tha Vnsnt.lntrl nl ino rf Lr'MhjBnen. ( , . MONEY IN TIN CANS rJnEFORE the war German ager.ts were ln ' 'the habit of shipping to Germany from land 150,000 tons of tinned steel-plate used cans, from which the tin was 'oved before tho steel was melted for In the arts. rlco consumes much more canned than England. But wo allow the tc be wasted. The vacant lots are ed with them. They roll about the dav, after the worlC is at peace, Ifort will bo made to save the steel, 'and tin that are now thrown away iver 'a can of peas, corn or fish is Then tho thrifty housewives will m tiali iimnlv rarta far thn ttinkman ' feeling that they are doing some- t to conserve the resources of- the na- , why shouldn't the cans with the elf b used ovw again? They ". r K HALE THEM INTO COURT The Beef Packers Mut Defend Thcmclves Before a Jury Against the Damning Charge of Profiteering VTOW we know why beef has gone to " fifty and sixty cents n pound, bacon to forty-five nnd fifty cents and lamb nnd pork to prices twice what they were two years ngo. The revelations of the Federal Trade Commission, based on nn investigation at which the packers were allowed to picscnt their side of the case, are astounding. The five great packing com panies have made a profit duiing the last tin cc years of $121,000,000 in excess of their normal gains. The profit of Mor ris & Co. is reported as 2(13.7 per cent on it's capital stock, whcieas its noimal profits have been 8.G per cent. Armour & Co. inci cased their capital stock fiom $20,000,000 in 1010 to $100,000,000, with the result that its percentage of piofit was reduced, but none of the five compa nies has earned less than 27 per cent and the piofits hnve langcd for nil of them except Monis & Co. up to 47 per cent. On then fnco these statements of fact justify the conclusion of the commission that "these packers hac pi eyed upon the people unconscicntiously." The commission is not content with chaiging exorbitant profits. It accuses the five packing companies and their subsidiaries with "manipulations of the maikct that embrace every device that is useful to them without regard to law." There is a piima facie case against them. Eeiy householder knows that the prices of meat have been and still aie exorbitant. He has been told that tho demand of the armies and the high cost of feed and labor hae made it nec essary to put up the pi ice. And he has believed it. But the evidence from the books of the companies themselves that an excess piofit of more than $120,000, 000 has been made in three ears, a profit amounting in the case of one com pany to moie than 250 per cent, makes it impossible longer to accept these ex planations. The evidence as it stands is proof of unconscionable greed at a time when every patuotic citizen vvas expected to make sacrifices. There can be no justifi cation for it in the minds of men not warped out of proper balance by the commercial spirit run mad. The nation will not be content until the Attorney General has haled the accused men into court and has presented the evidence gathered by tho commission to a juiy of householders and permitted them to find a verdict in accordance with the facts. If these men hnve violated the law in this ciisis they should be sent to jail for the remainder of their natural lives. Whether the law is broad enough to cover their case or not, they have been guilty, on the evidence as it stands, of stabbing the nation in the back. They have made it moic difficult for us to live at home and moic difficult to feed our armies in tho field. They have robbed the poor of the food needed to maintain them and have i educed the value of every dollar received in wages or salary by the great middle-class population. This is an offense the cnoimity of which it is difficult to magnify. Proof of guilt in court should be fol lowed by the seizure by the Government for the duration of the war of the plant of every packing company and its opeia tion in the interests of the public. The stock raiser would then get a fair pi ice for his cattle and the consumers would get meat, confident that it was being sup plied at the lowest price consistent with fairness to the capital actually invested. The commission also charges the millers, the oil refiners, the bituminous coal operators, the United States Steel Corporation and other industries with making excessive profits, hut the greed of the men engaged in these enterprises has been petty in comparison with that of the meat packers. But if they are guilty they also should feel the hand of the law. Profiteering is a moral crimo today, for it weakens the nation when it is straining every nerve to win the most stupendous war of all history. There are laws under which the little men have been punished. We shall know in time whether tfiere are any laws big enough to reach the great offenders. The profiteering packers will now find a use for the squeal, the only part of the hog that failed to make a cent per cent turnover for them. PRECIPITATE PROHIBITION UNWISE THC "drv" foiccs In the Senate persist in their attempt to bring about national prohibition for tho period of the war by a "rider" to the agricultural appropriation bill. The latest proposal comes from Senator Norris, whoso amendment to tho bill pro vides that no distilled spirits may be hold for beverage purposes -within the country and that no food products may be used in the manufacture of malt liquors and no fruits in tho production of wines, The prohibition of spirits and wines is -to take effect on tho passago ot the bill, but threo months' leeway Is given to beer. In the first place, this issue should be met fairly on Its merits in a separate bill, instead of by a rider. Discussion of It as a rider utll delay the passage of a neces sary appropriation bill. In the second place, the enforcement of national prohibition at this time is of doubtful expediency. Tho managers of tho great war industries havo protested against experimenting when it Is desirable that no pretext be given to any body of workers for complaint because of inter ference with thelri habltB. And anyway, the constitutional amend ment is before the country and the State Legislatures which will meet next winter will have an opportunity to decide then whether they want prohibition or not. i DMrds la not Interfering with war .work. to any appreciable extent, as It did in England when Lloyd George appealed to the workers to become sober. The Ameri can workmen ns a class are sober. And they are lojally doing their best to help win tho war, There Is no crisis which would Justify precipitate action. , It is tho hope ot nil ot us that the whole of Jul will be fully ns Ftlmulntlng to civi lization ns the rourth nf It COOLING THOUGHT neutral, loftily null Is the goal that TCII.Y J- Itnal aid Amundsen seeks, No subma rines lurk through the waters of his ad venture No cruisers hold up his errant vesel with Irritating demands for "the papcis" There wilt bo latitude ln his rovlngs but none ln their terminus "Nothing will i nine of nothing," Bald Lctr The statement Is a half truth, Nothing lmT Indeed rnme of the nothing tow aid which Amundsen advances, If one cNcepts. quarrels, nitterlv have they raged over that sublimation of negation. Con celvabh they may be the fruits of this latest quest It were insh to expect more, for even honors born of a void must necessarily be empty, liven science can no longer np praise such a venture with Its pristine sin gleness of authority. How respectfully tho voices of learning should be heard now depends upon In which (.amp one happens to be enrolled. "I'ndcr which king, liezonl.in, speak or die'" cry the throats of mankind today. "Tho top," ltoald Amundsen may answer, and who, .save possibly two ot his predc-rc-sois, will care? Certainly Germany will not, or long ere this sho would have claimed tho realm whereto he sails This means that her foes don't caro a button either. It alo means another vovage to the North Pole has been undertaken. That's a cooling thought for a summer which promises to be hot, both metcoro logicallv and mllllarllv. A New York paper It frounil i:rltlne sa s that nt a garden part held III tho sub urbs oung girls- Imitated goldfish nnd flogs in a "pool. AVo would lili to hear further details. i The next time the Austrlnns drink to Dor Tng let them alro think of Dor Taglla mento. Hlndj savs his offensive ln August will bo po-dthelv the last Hut I'och may havo a word to say about that General Confuplon remains the com manding olllcor ln Itussla Advice to t'nele Pam If ou have prof iteers, prepare to shed them now. "March sounds optimistic note on 'West front," savs a headline Julj, however, sounds a much more hopeful one. Regarding next winter's roil supply VlllInni Potter declares that Philadelphia will "fnre well" Let us devoutlv hope that those two significant little sjllnbles will not become jammed together In a single word during the coming months Evidently Ktiehlmann Is the wind shield of tho German military machine. The deduction that "food will win the war" ran be lnterp-ntcd as an Injunction to "cat or fight" is wholly irroneous. The Pug Hlver would seem to be the likeliest whereabouts of Lcnlnc and Trotsky. Does the stern Government order bar ring both drugs nnd women from the Canal Zonp mean to Imply that they are In any sense synonvmous7 Did KerensKv go to Pari with the Idea of getting a boulevard named after him? THE CHAFFING DISH Getting Ready for Kercnky E XfSLAXD is covered with blushes be cause Kerensky kissed Arthur llender- t-on, the British labor leader1 Think of nn Hngllshman, nourished on beef nnd red giavy and open air exercise, being kissed like that, publicly. Think, too, of the panic of Mr. William B. AVilson, our ow n Secretary of Labor, as he contemplates Krrensky's predicted visit to this country. Surely he would bo Jus tified ln having the bussing Russ turned back at Ellis Island. If the apprehensive Mr. Wilson sought to put his sensations Into song he might say to Kerenskv : Salute me only with thy fist. And don't attempt to buss me: The very thought of being kissed Is quite enough to fuss, me. If jou must kiss, try It on Gompers Ho hasn't been kissed since ho wore rompers. Suppose Kerensky war-Ted to kiss tho President, would Mr. Tumulty havo to take It? Tho only one of our statesmen who, we think, would accept that salute with com posure would ho T. It. The Colonel Is alwavs ready for anv thing. In Kerensky's favor it must be said that he is clean-shaven. We would rather be kissed by him than by Lenlne or Tlrpitz. Members ot the I. W. W , Don't let osculation trouble jou: You must turn our other cheeks Llko tho peaceful Bolsheviks. Tho Japaneso have alnavs been indig nant at us because tho custom of kissing, formerly unknown ln Japan, vvas Intro duced over thpre by American movies. Now, if Kerensky is coming over here to crribarrasH all our statesmen, they will know how Japan feels about it. Tumulty and the shouting dies, Cabinet members blush apart, Their bashful and embarrasted eves Reveal the palpitating heart. The European Socialist , ' N Thinks nothing' of aiearty smack. So If Kerensky should insist, Intrepid statesmen, kiss him back! It seems very natural of Hlndy to post pone his offensive until August. Nobody wants to be in Paris in July. It isn't fash ionable. Packer rhymes with slacker. Rhymes often have mora senso than you mljht t . SOCRATES, if " READERS' VIEWPOINT 't will the Government Relieve the Housing 1 Situation? To the Editor of thr Evening Public Ledger: Sir After reading nn article from a build er and real estate operator In which he states that houses were not of paramount neces sity, one would, naturally, assume n feeling of security nnd brush this question of rent profiteering from his mind. Yet we must look Into the future, even though the present Is, ns ho states." takf n care of, and wo must be guided by the gieat possibilities of our city In our various lines of war activities nnd ns to what thin Is to mean ln the requirements for homes Upon Interviewing Mr. J. Wllllspn Smith, housing director, tho writer was Informed that at tho time the Emergency Fleet Corpo ration moved Its force from Washington It experienced great difficulty In obtnlnlng 300 new houses required, but he also states that the number of rooming accommodations was not fu!l exhausted, which would seem a ver natural condition, as even todny there could he found thousands of such rooming acioiiimodatlntiH If they were renlly essen tial. A spare room Is not uncommon In many homes However, this Is not exactly what Is most practical, as fmplo.ven of the Government are fully capable and able to buy homes If they are obtainable, and they, like others, ate nixlous to have their own, homes and not merelv exist In rooms. As we have for tho last twenty cnrs found It necrssarv to build early about 7500 houses to supply the real estate demand, It would hnrdl.v seem practical to figure that ln view of this demand and considering that thousnnds of new people have moved to our clt, new houspn Bhoald not be built to take care of tho future. We must keep ln mind that It takes from four to six months to erect nn operation of 100 to fioo houses, even In normal times, and If no houses are contemplated or stnrted this ear the onlv alternative Is that old proper ties will enhance ln vnlue and become Just ns high In price as the demand assumes. Rents, too, will be raised to meet the ques tion of that of supply and demand, nnd It Is not dllllctilt to see the result, remembering tho fact that owners of houses ln the past j cars have found them a poor Investment on account of the rents being low ns compared to the carr.vlng charges, which means that real estate has been more one of speculation than an Investment. The idltor of this paper Is, to my mind, correct In urging the application of the only remedy that will bring relief and offset suro possibilities of high prices on old houses nnd Increase In rentals, nnd If wo want to he able to house new people this car, or the eais of prosperltj which, are sure'to fol low, hou-e'i must bo built ' Vc now find our houe market virtually exhausted and the consensus of opinion Is that llko 'ships," tnoro houses are very es sential and very necesv-ars, nnd the question Is one to be wotked out by the bulldeis nnd real estate men, so that building cap be gone on aluad of the great developments In our city. If concerted action Is taken to obtain Gov ernment help, tho question of mortgage money nnd labor villi, In some way, be over come WILLIAM R NICHOLSON, JR. Philadelphia, Juno 29. The Joys of the Morning To the Editor of the Eicning 1'ubllc Ledger: Sir Given a good digestion and a mind nt ease, I never leavo homo In the early morning without feeling nn Intense desire to shout aloud out of sheer exuberance of spirit As I turn to wave another good-by to my two- ear-old son, whoso laughing blue eyes peer out through tho porch railing, the very front of the house presents an Interesting and svmpathctlc appearance. So dull nnd piosaie looking tho evening before. It seems to havo been washed ln the magic air of the night nnd to look out upon tho morning like the shining countenance of a schoolboy. Bven tho dolls nnd grotesque-looking toys lu the window of tho corner store seem to sejjso the ndvent of n new day as they turn tneTr glistening painted faces to meet the big, admiring ejes of tho children on their way to school. And this trolley car of brilliant yellow that comes humming cheerily along, casting Its long blue shadow ahead, with the sun strik ing balls of fire In Its windows surely this cannot be the same Jolting, tired convevance of the evening before' I find myself looking with keen Interest upon my fellow pnsiengers and through the windows at the passing s-cencs That burly looking Individual across the aisle with the battered suitcase to which Is strapped a bulging gun case. Is he, too, con scious of the morning's appeal as he buries his nose In his newspaper.' That pretty, slllt-stocklnged stenographer, with the sun flashing upon her lljlng knit ting needles nnd making spun gold of her hair, Is her mind upon that Utter that peeps from the sewing basket In her lap? And now we arc crossing the bridge over the Schuvlklll. Who will deny that the river has its moods and that it is happiest In the tarly morning? As It rlpplen around the bridge foundations and laps the Bides of the sand-laden barges. Its tipples: seem to be beckoning to tho long freight train that Is poking Its way through the haze along the trestle high above the adjacent railroad jard. To those who are responsive to Its fresh charms the appeal of the morning is irre sistible, more potent than anv thing that the imagination may (onjure and offering Itself equally to the banker In his limousine and the ui chin In the tenement court. J. WARNER BOWERS. Philadelphia, June 29. The War "Sits" for the Painter The present war, says Robert C. Holllday in the July Bookman, Is not in an) thing more unlike an) other war than In lis rela tion to art, both the art of literature and that of painting. Most of the authors of the world are now soldlera, and most of the sol diers who were not nuthors before the war are authors now. And tho "art artists" (as they have been so aptly described) aro nor only at the war today but In It the real artists, that Is, of England and Europe. Only the artist can show the vislbie scene In the light of the vplrit in which It Is lived. He does not merely draw ruined, churches and houses, great guns being aimed, guards and lorries, doctors and wounded men. His Is the mission ot making visible by his art to those remote from the scene and to dis tant ages the standme.'s and patience, the faithful absorption In the next duty, the extraordinary humor, the standards of com raihshlp and good nature all the strains of character and emotion that go to make up the temper of a great army In tho field. He 'does not merely draw armed figures ln tho act of proceeding across a plain ; he paints moments of transfiguration, when all the glow of courage that has been banked down and husbanded through months of waiting and guarding bursts, at a word of command. Into flame. At the request of General Pershing for eight artists for the American expeditionary forces, the War Department a few months ago ordered a committee on selection to be formed, C. D. 'Gibson, chairman, and this committee chose the men who aro to make drawings and paintings of the reenes where the American army Is fighting, and whot-e work from now until peace comes Is to be preserved by the Government as part of the historical documents of the war. These eight men, commissioned with the rank of captain in the engineers, and who recently (failed for France, are Ernest Pelxotto, Wallace Mor gan, J, Andre Smith, Walter Jack Duncan, Harry Townsend, George Harding, Harvey Dunn and William J. Alward What they will do with the war remains, ot course, to be seen. At any rate, there Is no record in the annals of art of any other group of joung men having hao so great an opportunity. A New Order Not only Is the old atlas no good any more, but tho old dictionary Is a back num ber, vn If you jutt bought it a year or so tro wrmnu4 f ;ta rn-aUr. . z' i . .... i ,- i ,..,.,,., mil.... ... . 111,1,11111 rmfrmrnmmmiammmt . t,MI ' III. MMMMwJ nelnkatnp In tho St, Louis Olobe-Democrat. I " 1 x What Happened By Our Special T AM glad you aro here," said Rosncr, -- "but you will havo to bo very careful what you say to tho All Highest. He Is very savage this morning. Ho has Just heard that a street ln Paris has been named after Wilson. You know ho had always Intended that honor for himself. That is really why ho was so anxious to get to Paris." I took a modest scat in tho corner of tho council room. OUTSIDE I heard the sound of a num ber of people listening. A harsh voice was speaking. The Kaiser was sajlng: "It Is not that I am afraid of the American soldiers. They are too well fed to be good fighters. But what I object to is the vil lainous way they talk French. Their ac cent is barbarous. If they keep on coming to Frnnce In such numbers the purity of tho French langungo will bo utterly cor rupted. As jou know, I am concerned for tho liteiary and cultural future ot France. As a Geiman province it Is essential that Its artistic instincts be not perverted. Therefore I must absolutely forbid that moro Americans enter the country." There was a chorus of guttural Javvohls and the company entered. Rosncr and I sprang to our feet, saluting stiffly. WILHELM seated himself at tho head of the table. At his. light were Hln denburg and Ludendorff. At his left, Hert llng. who looked a little battered. Rosner took a chair nt the l.ower end of the board, where pencils nnd paper were waiting. "Now, gentlemen,'" said the Knlser, "we have a number of Important matters to discuss. I have been up since very early this morning. Here is a draft I have pre pared for Kuehlmann's next speech. After he has delivered it I fear we shall have to send him to Swlt7erland in a cattle car. Of course, it Is unfortunate for him, but I will see that he Is compensated by having a street In Paris named for him. Hertllng, jou will see that this speech Is uttered as I havo written it. I don't mind Ktiehlmann punctuating it his own way. Understood, not? "Then wo will proceed to our geography of Paris. Hlndy, will you tell mo hoW you would proceed to go from the Arc de la Trlompho to the Champs Elysees?" A PLEASANT little, morning stroll, "Highness," said Hlndy, removing the clinical thermometer fiom his mouth. "Passing down the Wllhelmstrasse and across the Place Hohenzollern, I would halt a moment to admire tho ruins of Rue. Woodrow AVilson. Tho Furchtbarstrasse would perhaps be a short cut, hut enjoy Ing the flagrant savor of the Shreckllch keif sausage market I think I should take a detour In that 'direction, passing tho statue of Trotsky on the Boulevard Bol shevik. Leaving the, Preusslsche Kulturn vercln on my left hand, I would turn smartly to the left and find myself salut ing your efflgy at tho entrance to the Champs El) sees." "Excellent!" said the Kaiser. "And when will this take -place?" "In August, Highness," said Hlndenburg a little uneasily, I thought, "Pardon me, All-Highest," said Rosner, "but for accuracy ln my notes may I say tt'Alch August? I mean, August, 1918, or 1919, or 1920?" "Certainly not, Idiot!" roared the Kaiser. .(iTTERTLINQ," said theEmperor. "you tl will please give us a brief ausstel- lungsge.chlchte of recent, events in Russia. Jta-rt lrtdyacle U A ,, SPEAKING OF WAR BABIES at Headquarters Correspondent what has happened, but I wish to seo how near right you may be. Commence!" Hertling looked rather groggy. "Your Majesty will forglvo me," ho shld, "If I seem a little uncertain, I have caughtcold from wearing a paper vvalstcoast and a constnnt diet of turnips. I find " "Simpleton!" shouted the Kaiser. "Our good old German turnips aro nourishing enough for civilians. Continue." "Sire, as I understand It. Lcnlno and Trotsky havo had to flee from Moscow and are surf bathing at Murman while waiting for ono-of our U-boats to call for them." "Surf bathing or serf bathing?" said the Kaiser, who must have his Joke. All the table roared and tho All-Highest was so delighted that he forgot all about Russia. ifVroW, Ludy," said Wllhelm, "it Is your -- turn. Tell mo what we can do to celebrate the Fourth of July. Tirpltz wires me that theio aro no American women nnd children on tho sea now, so wo cannot hope for any U-boat successes." "All-Highest," said Ludendorff, "I havo become convinced that the Americans are enthusiastic Germans at heart. From all quarters where their troops aro engaged I hear of their eagerness to get Into Ger man territory. Apparently they are not satisfied with France. Their sole ambition Is to press on, to become more familiar with tho great German institutions, to tread upon Gormnn soil. The secret of military success. Highness, is to keep the enemy In a good humor. Therefore I sug gest that wo allow them to make a little gain on July Fourth, Just because it will please them so. Tho nearer they come to Germany tho moro they -will be convinced of the beauty and serenity of our land scape. You yourself, Sire, have pointed out how much fairer oun country is than Frnnce. France Is a land of shattered villages, of blood and flame and wreckage and nasty ditches dug In slime. But In the Fatherland we have quiet beauty and placid fields of turnips." Hertllng shuddered. T HAD not thought of it In that way," said Wilhelm. "Now that jou men tion it, tho American eagerness to become better acquainted with Germany is a touch ing thing. By all means let them gain a little If it will please them." "And now," he added, "you must excuse me. My little class ln architecture meets this morning. I am giving them somo In structions on the restoration of Gothic cathedrals. Rosner, you will let me look over your notes before you transmit them. Good morning." rpHE others looked at each other sadly. "It Is all veiy well," said Hertllng, "for Wllhelm to say that turnips aro nourish ing, but he doesn't have to eat them. Also Geheimrat Woodrow Wilson will utter an other speech on July Fourth and I shall be expected to reply to It. I'm sure I don't know what I shall say. I hato those speeches of Wilson: there seems no proper repartee to them,.'' Hlndy was examining his clinical ther mometer. "Ono hundred and three," he said dolefully. "I ought not to be going about this way. I am a sick man. I wish I could havo some easier Job, like com mander of the Black Sea fleet." "Look here," said Ludy, "There Is one perfectly bully way for us to get to Paris by August. And they say that the French give their prisoners threo square meals a day." "What do you mean?" sld Rosner, ' ."Simple enough." said Ludy, "Let's all UM fcttaWt-lMte" ifr,X?"?' THE FIGHTING SWING THE FIGHTING SWING "VNCE again the regiments marching III '-' down the street, J; Khnniaofa lmre nnrl Ifla Vinrral. ewlnnln. ."Jll all ln time- Let the slack civilian plod; ours the gayer M r . 4. Dancing to the music of the oldest pnrthlv rhvmp Left, right, trim and tlchtl Hear thi rnilnnpn fnll. i w w. "--h-"" -."" '" "un. I"- Csrt Via Inrvlnn "- T.nn In-atArl -ls, ass. IV Jh S.1 mains oi uaui, Fighting b!6ods of all the earth in our M pulses ring. j n step! lads, truo to tne dads. BacK to ;. 11IC3 JlfellllUK OW111K1 Vf Wo have kissed good-by to doubt, left th a fret and stew; Now the crows may steal the corn, now tho milk may spill. -jS! All the problems In the world simmer down to two: " 'jS Ono is how to dodgo the shells, one la 'M how to kill. as- Left, right, glints of light! Down tht & ranns tney run. ,sa ou mo uuiuzury bjjuuis cuuKnt ine aeserc sun. , V. rVneo (.train 4Vin anntnnl elnat ha. 41m 3 """ "- " - "- S5T1 . loraiy ning. Flash, sway, battle array! Back to thtljfjjj jigming swiiis; Rat nnd dIIam! anfr mM,1t .t.aili, .,..m i .-TT. J I eye ' Groping, wrangling days are done; let the leaders lead. Regulations how to live, orders when to ; die- Life and death ln primer print any man ,iH can rend. 'Ji Left, right, eat and fight! Dreams ar blown to bits. Here's the Old, Guard back to life, bound M for Austerlltz. Shake the soft and quit the sweet; looaa w tho nrms that cling. Blood, dust, grapple and thrust! Back ,v to the fighting swing! ' Badger Clarke, in Scrlbner's Magazine. Very Inconsiderate The Navy Department rules that "yeo- M aftas" iviiiat as nntinn lin.l.-o n ) 1AMa.o. ir 3 v-vo nuov n-i lvviuii 4IUD.CI UUU IU!lfC,r t clr f t a Rnmahnilv la alutavo i trim ! li. y ..... .,v....-fwU,7 ., M.s.aja .... ,6 ilia JVj out of life, Birmingham Age Herald. Wliat Do You Know? QUIZ Where la Radellir. Collese? Who la General Ton Klurk? What Is the eapllnl of Maine? Wlnt la the national lumn of. Great Britain? Who wrote "The I-adr of Phallolf'T Who la the Ruaalan nmbaasador to the United StateaT When did the) rilirlma land at 1'lTmoutb. Ilork? Who are the Ctechi? ' Who the fifth I'realdent of tho Vnlttd Ntatea? Where la Camp Devena? Answers to Saturday's Quiz London la the larieit ellr In tho world. Federalization" or "nationalization" of ln. fliifctrleM or liublie utllltl ernroent eontrol. either throiiBh owner Ullllllf aer llir .Ts Aheratlon. tho Induatnr renin of utility eoneerned. ,,.- I..-.. .. Vh. llHl..UtlB .. 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