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WlYWO E. SMILEY
Editor
rJgW'fciXUnTIN . .aeneral.ttvuln'M tanBr
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U H. Cor. Pennsylvania Ave. and "Jn.J"
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To'all forelen countries one (111 dollar per
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' must give 0I4 as well a new address.
MXt, S000 WALNUT KEiSTONE. MAIN JM
TAAtr,., all commimlcrtllonsTo Btjoil-tJ ''ut'llo
JLnloer, Indtvcndtnce Sauare. rhtlaatipnu'.
"""tonaiu at tub riTitTDEtpuii rojix orncs as
" PhU.J.lphl., Tffdnild.r. April II, Mil
MAYOR SMITH GOES CKUSADING
NOTHING that Mayor Smith may do In
the way ot police shalte-ups and trans
fer under the relentless whip of Federal
official criticism will bo rdcciuato to tho
end la lew or even worthy of serious at
tention while- ho permits tho present Di
rector of Public Safety to remain In office.
The Major made this plain yesterday when
ho said that he Imported detectives from
other cities before he could learn the truth
about his own police department. This M
an extraordinary Indictment of Director
"Wilson. If tho Major didn't know what
a as going on the Director of Public Safety
aid. If the Director didn't ho Is obviously
tmflt for his office. If he did Unow and
Xt withheld the Information nnd managed
to Ueep the Mayor in the foreground as n
foolish apologist for his department, then
he has been faithful neither to the city nor
to his superiors. The first real show of
good faith on Mayor Smith's part camo
when ho summarily transferred Lieuten
ant Bennett from tho Third District, Di
rector Wilson kept Bennett at the post
which he had discredited In the course of
the Trog Hollow episode. Mayor Smith
may yet save his administration from dis
grace If he makes tho uppaicnt rift be
tween himself and Director Wilson wldo
and permanent.
Baseball has broken loose on tho front
page again.
RIGHT MAN AT LAST
THE appointment of Charles M. Schwab
as general manager of the Emergency
Fleet Corpoiatlon, with completo super
vision and direction of shipbuilding, is
the most heartening thing that has been
done In Washington for months.
Mr. Schwab la tho right man for the
placo. He has constructs o imagination
and. grasp. Ho has demonstrated his
ability to build up n great steel corpora
tion equal to tho biggest enterprises.- Ho
Is convinced of the necessity ot winning
the war and he i3 confident of the power
o American Industry to turn out the ships
needed for tho purpose.
Thfs combination of confldei.ee, ability
and, moral purpose will give drlving force
to all his efforts. Delays and bungling arc
now to cease and we shall soon see re
sults. An Atlantic City theatre owner Is
charged with stealing hot air from a neigh
boring hotel Was he too poor to hire a
press agent?
"ECRETARY BAKER'S' RETURN
FWAS a fortunate coincidence that took
Secretary Baker to tho European bat
tlefields In the stormiest and most critical
days of the wholo vvorM conflict. The Sec
retary of War is a clever man. If eer he
had any doubts about tho dimensions of
the struggle, of Its ferocity, of the neces
sity for determination an . aggressiveness
even greater than that of Germany, he
doubtless outlived them In the atmosphere
of endless fighting and in Immediate con
tacts with travailing millions. Ho was tho
mind of the President projected to Kurope.
And the short summary of his view given
when he passed through this city jester
day Indicates that he, liko tho President,
has completed the process of disillusion
ment and realizes a last that we are at
war with a foe who Is without reason,
without compunctions of any sort, without
a mind that may bo Influenced by any of
tho ordinal y considerations of civilization.
"The American army and navy nnd
American resources," said Mr. Baker, "will
swing tho war." There is no immediate
danger of a decisive victory for Germany,
ho said, and no doubts whatever of Allied
victory. This, properly interpreted, means
that tho war Is to go on, that many thou
sands of Americans will yet go abroad
and that wo shall yet participate exten
sively In the fighting. The Important thing
to observe in this Instance Is that Mj.
Baker, like Mr. Wilson, has outlived the
old humanistic tendencies that formerly
confused his policy and resulted In more
than ontv serious delaj'. He sees nothing
now but a war of cumulative force to the
bitter end. And so it must be.
Perhaps air. Baker knows better now
bow to cook theTIun'a goose.
, REAL HOME RULE ISSUE
WHEN the late Cecil Rhodes subscribed
5000 to the Irish homo rule cause it
H In the hope that the British empire
teht become an Imperial federation of
lae-H-governlng states, somewhat on tho
gwedel of America. There Is constantly
propping up In the discussion, of the new
Jrtea home rule bill the expression of tho
hope that nothing may be put In It which
wW prevent the establishment of a federal
government for the United Kingdom.
Tlfj seed haa been germinating slowly,
tiut surely The war is forcing it rapidly,
Tin solution of the Irish question by. the
irjUblUh,ment of a parliament In Dublin
Till bring the harvest nearer The dispute
bther conscription shall be applied in
Wnd before or after the new Irish par-
t Is set up la of less consequence
Mttlnsr up of the Irish legislature.
detail, overahad.
-., K . ,,
h
SPEED, AND THEN MORE
SPEED!
As the Germans hao been proved hope
Iftisly wrong in their estimates of tho y
luvnia, uiDiicn hiiu ucieriumiiiiuii ui wiu
American people, so they will ho protcd
wrong In their estimate as to tho speed
with which the Americans will bo able to
carry out their purpose and program.
Foreign Secrctary'llalfour to tho Amer
ican labor delegation
TMIIS speech was made while the Ger-
mans were hammering the Riitish
lino in Picardy and while new soldiers
were being sent across tho channel with
tho greatest possible speed to rc-enforce
tho nrmies nt the front.
Mr. Balfour was talking not, nlonc to
tho labor delegates from this country.
Ho was talking directly to every Ameri
can. The Germans are wrong in their esti
jnate of the speed with which we can
prepare for war. It is up to us to show
how fnr wrong. On that depends tho
issue of tho war. The attempt is now
making to force n decision before we can
bring our full strength to bear. Ihitish
nnd French soldiers nro being disabled by
the tens of thousnnds. Tho men to take
their plnces must ultimately come from
this side of the ocean. Evciy week of
t'clay means the disabling of more British
and French fighters und demands that
lany more Americans to fill the ranks
of the Allied armies.
The moral of this speech is that there
must be haste in preparation, and then
:gain haste, and still more haste. It is
useless now to talk about what might
have been if wc had begun to prepare
when the Lusitania was sunk. We have
begun now. Tho foundations have been
laid, and u. the months go by we fehnll
see the structuic of our military organi
zation rise in increasing height till we
can do effective work,
It is not a time fo'r complacency, how-
1 . ,. 1.11 1
citr, uui 11 nine lor reaouoica applica
tion to the task in hand. The thing can
be done. The Gciman nnd Austrian
propagandists have been saying that we
were indifferent or incapable and that
we would never spend the lives of our
young men in n European quarrel. Some
Americans have assisted them in their
devilish work. But the nation knows now
that this is not n, European dispute. It
knows that the issue is whether the world
is to be ruled by brute force directed
towaid selfish ends or is to be ruled by
'the ideals of justice and equity under
which free peoples may live in peace and
content. It is a world issue. We cannot
escape it if we would.
The cry coming across the ocean is
more than an nppeal for help. It is n
demand for moie rapid co-operation in
the work of saving tho world for democ
racy. The burden is upon us. It increases
in weight with every assault of the Ger
mans upon the Allied tienches. But how
ever heavy It may become, it muSV be
borne till a merciful Providence takes it
from our shoulders when the task is ac
complished. It will not be soon and we
must pray God that He will give stiength
to the Allies to hold out till we can biing
our full force to bear. He will answer
the prayer, for righteousness hab the
Eternal Power behind it.
An official census reports that there are
1T7J swlvel-clialr officers of draft ngi In
Washington who bave received oinni'sdons
Klnco the. outbreak of the wai A .ivvnlt
the enumeration of wcatliervanes In i'oii
gress.
SOMETHING WRONG AT PENN
IS Tlin editor of tho I'ennsjlvanla Ga
zette, the esteemed Unlversltj' of Penn
sjlvanla weekly, growing old? Or has ho
merely acquired a high haf By one or
another of the two atlllctlons that come In
e Itnbly w 1th passing j ears ho has become
burdened with a senso of dignity that
touches heallj- upon his soul. In meas
ured terms the Gazctto pltads that alumni
o cry where speak of the University as
Pennsylvania not as Pcnn.
Something strange Is happening In tho
college world. Such an appeal smacks of
a flat ignorance of tho humanities. Just
so soon as a man learns to love anything
he llnds or Invents a diminutive term for
Its designation. Colgate University used
to be "The Hamilton Literary and Theo
logical Institution." To.shlne in song and
legend and in the memories of men it had
to become Colgate. Princeton used to be
bo Tho College of Xevv Jersey. You could
not sing about tho College of New Jersey.
But "Princeton," sounds well with music.
In conferences of scholars nnd in tho minds
of grinds Pennsylvania will doubtlesu be.
Pennsylvania. But speak in a fai place
of Old Penn and jou can.stait men to to
memberlng. to singing, and theso two
words will bo enough to send the thoughts
of thousands backward acres tho seas or
leaping tho hills to home.
The President Is to bo elected to member
ship In the Academy of Moral and Political
Science In tho Institute of France in recogni
tion of his distinguished services. Tho
Kaiser has not jet been nominated.
FIGHT FOR DEMOCRACY AT HOME
Turn. jmYAN'S theory that an army of a
' million men could be Improvised over
night to resist an invader has been ex
ploded by tho hard facts.
But there are men who think tha an
army of voters to rescue tho city and tho
State from the plunderers und self-seekers
can be organized at a moment's notice.
They are no moie mistaken than was
Mr. Brj-an.
Victory for democracy at home needs the
same kind of preparation nnd discipline
required to secure victory for woild
democracj-. v
The preliminary work inust bo done to
day when the places are open fpr the reg
istration of voters for the nominating pri
maries of May 21. Nearly 110,000 voters
aro disqualified from taking part In the
nomination of candidates because, they ore
unregistered. In six wards of West Phila
delphiaall normally Independent In sym
pathj there are nearly 36,000 men so in
different to the demands of citizenship that
they 'have not taken tho trouble to get
their names on tho registry lists. They
are men whom the machine politicians are
anxious to keep away from the primaries.
The machine voter always goes to the polls.
He Is active and alert. It Is the indiffer
ence of the rest that gives him his power
and enables the machines to Intrench
themselves.
This has been said so often that It has
lost its force. Nothing short of a bomb
of moral dynamite can,Imp;ess Its truth
' EVENING HJBLIC lEDGEfr-PHi;LADEI.PHIA, WEDNESbAY, APRIL IT,
upon t .e electorate with sufficient force
to produco action. If the world war has
not nwakened these citizens to a realiza
tion of their moral obligations by opening
their ejes to theVonscquonc.cn of lndlffcr
enco to n growing menace, then nothing
can do It.
We do not bellcVc, however, that they aro
not awakened Thoso who did not
voto Inst fall nro going to the places of
registration today between tho houra of
4 and 10 p. in. nnd have their names en
rolled, and they uro then going to the
primaries a month from today to voto for
decent men as candidates for olllco If they
can find such on the tickets, and If they
cannot find them they nro going to nomi
nate them- by petition afterward. This
means jou, Mr. Worthy Citizen.
"Death to Kples1" rrles the Board of
Trail"1, but It will hao to say It several times
more before the Department of Justlco really
thinks that spies should be shot.
JAPAN IS PLAYING FAIR
T.V St'lTi: of German efforts to detach
- her, all tho evidence points to tho con
rluslon that Japan Is plnjlng fulr wltlrtho
I'ntente Allies. Viscount Ishll, who has
Just arrived In this country dliect from
Toklo. announces that if Japan should
think It necessary to mnko a military ev
pedltlon Into Slbcila it would be In oppo
sition to German plans.
This corresponds to tho statements that
h.io come from responsible officers of the
Japanese Government while Ishll was on
tho seas. Yet the talk of an alliance be
tween Jnpan and Germany will not cvac.
Tho Gorman propagandists will keep It
up both because they liopo for It 'and be
cause they think that by talking about it
they can ciuato distrust of Jnpan nnd pro
duce complications which may help their
plotting.
Chairman (inffnev. of the Councils'
I 'ZL":0' "'.'" V!?l? "r..
I ....n. ,,--, ,,,, lillllrlAV III IIHJ l.l
1. in- urn wn iiesnmc" is lie orraM of a
vote of lack of ronflih'ncp''
Old Hill" Snl?or lias been Indicted
again, and Taranum made the charges this
time alo
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
"JJIZ WUXT to school with Chailey Her-
' 7og, tho famous baseball stormy petrel.
Clmrlej (we used to call b,Im "Buck") has
forgotten that, but wo hmcn'tj nor how
he used to play hulfbacl; on tho school
football team.
Lots of other boys went to that school,
and became lavvjers and Insurance agents
and nuthois and soldleis and doctors of
philosophy but all the nlumnl put together,
plus the Janitor and the headmaster, noei
get into print as often ns Clins. docs In one
season And all the faculty ot tho school
put together don't got as much salary as
Ciias. does for. enjojlng himself on the
smooth shaven dlamoAd.
Wc have nlvvajs wondered why wo didn't
go in for baseball or evangelism, or some
thing profitable.
Dove Dulcet saj-s ono of Maj-or Smith's
sleuths called on lilm to discuss the tender-
Join district of Obesity, X. J. Dove was
at u loss to know whj lie should be so
honored until ho learned that he had been
mentioned in the paper as Ico electrician
of this departmtnt. This had aroused the
suspicions of tho Major.
Henceforth communications to Sir. Dul
cet must bo addressed to the assistant elec
trician. Getting By the Censor
Secretary Baker arrived at an Atlantic
port, proceeded south by an American rail
load, was Interviewed by an (ahem) Phila
delphia afternoon paper and Is now In n
district of Columbia capital.
TITOt'I.D any man hesitate to lend
"' monej to his best fiiend?
Uncle Sam Is the best filcnd you havo
and he needs tho monej
You know how that money Is to be
used niicl'jou know It will como back to
jou with generous interest.
LIBUUTY BOXDS ore the best Invest
i meat jou ever had a chance to
buy. They pay Interest In monej-. In'
life, self-respect and human happiness.
Contributed by (he I.leitrln (hair
"Bum"
Turk indBiitrate dirferentlatea tho of
fenIveni.H of the orii "bum ' used ae verb. ad.
1ei:tlM nnd noun News Item
YWMZX jour friend fills his pipe
' ' With some mlxturo supeib.
And jou bum soinu tobacco
That's bum as a Nerb.
Ho won't match jou for lunch
Tor ho fears tho cxptnso;
Then you call him hum sport
In tho ndjectlvo senso.
At the verb or tho ndjectlvo
Xo one will frown;
But ncvet, I pray j on.
Uee bum as a noun.
DUXItAVHX BLEAK.
Advice to Those Visiting a Baby
TNTEUVinw the baby alone If possible.
If, however, both parents are present,
saj "It looks like its mother." Add, ns an
afterthought, "I think it has its father's
elbows."
If uncertain as to thq infant'u sex, try
some such formula as, "He looks Uko her
grandpaients," or "Sho has his aunt's
sw eot disposition."
When tho mother only Is present, j-our
situation Is critical. Sigh deeply and ad-mlringlj-,
to imply that jou wish you had
n child like that. Don't commit yourself
at all until she gives a lead.
When' the father only Is present, jou
may be a little reckless. Glvo the father
a cigar and venture, "Good luck, old man;
It looks like jour mother-in-law."
If possible, find out beforehand how old
tho child Is. Call up tho Bureau of Vital
Htatistlcs. If It is two months old, say to
the mother, "Bather large for sl. month?.
Isn't he?"
If the worst has happened and tho child
leally does look like its father, the most
tactful thing Is to say, "Children change
ns they grow .older," Or you may suggest
that some mistake has been made at the
hospital and they have brought homo the
wrong baby. .
If left alone In the room with the baby,
throw a. soundproof rug over It and
escape. SOCRATE3,
THe Gownsman
MQJCHOOLMEX'S WEEK" was In session
O nt the University during the tedious
ana protracted April storm of u fcr dajs
ago. Thero Is no connection between tho
storm and tho schoolmen, such ns Is popu
larly supposed to exist between the Yearly
Meeting of the friends and the habitual In
clemency of the weather at that time; tedious
and protracted weather only happened to
como then. "Schoolmen's Week" Is a wel
come Innovation of latter jears In the tedium
of the teachers' life of this Stato and vlclnltj-.
The conclave Is n species of educational fair
to which those possessed of educational
wares that Is, Ideas on specific points In the
trndo of teacher resort to barter and ex
change thb same for other Ideas likely to
prove helpful In the business. This Is per
haps to present tho matter too commercial'.
The Govvmman has only n hearty upprovnl
for every means by which n current of fresh
Ideas on nny subject may be set blowing any
where, a current or draft, If the reader will,
by means of which to ventilate- the over
breathed air of tho schoolroom, the labora
torj oven the courtroom or tho church.
TIIEHE was at one time prevalent a gen
eral notion that teachers are llko poets-
born, not made Either a man or woman
could tench or he could not, and tlaro was an
end of tho matter Xo, unfortunately there
was not the end Teaching Is at a great dis
advantage as compared with aeronautics. In
training a man for the air he tlther files or
be docs not 11) When jou havo once dropped
him he Is not likely to II again. Tho teacher
who cannot teach habltu.illj goes on teach
Uig, nn 1 In this patadox lies more than linjf
of our pedagogical troubles In the older
tlmo persons learned how to teach so far
as thej did learn as boys learn how to Bvvlm
by swimming Very few bojs drown In tho
process and jou cannot learn to swim bj
paddling In ttif shallow water of practice
schools, much less b shivering on tho bank
with a treatise nn natation in Jour blue
lingers. However, the Gownsman anticipates.
Wo havo latelj- made n great -illscoverj":
teachers are not like poets, born, not made;
teachers are merely the product of a highly
specialized training: teachers uro made, not
born.
Av
N OMINOUS iIi'M IfiniTiciii of our own
time is the upgrowth of tho parasitic
'silences" And a parasitic subject Is one
wlilfu has no material perullsrlj and prop-trlj-
Its own, a thing which lives on some
thing else nnd, like a confirmed bankrupt,
can onl- keep up bv hot rowing or worse
Tho tlefhents of which a substance Is made,
tho way In which one thing acts and reacts
upon another, the nature and relations of
numbers, knowledge about these things we
call phjsles, iheniltrv and mathematics
And history has to do with tho political
affalis of men as language lias to do wltji
tho Instrument by which men loinmunlc.itn
to each other their thoughts Not to be lost
In the gown, much less to widen Into contro-versj-,
Dean Swift owe ontrasted the lltera
tuio of the ancients with that of modern
times uiidei the figure of the spider and tlm
bee The spider spins his ilalnty and ptrfei t
fabilcs out of his own vitals, the bee buzzes
about rilling eveij likely (lower of Its sweet'.
icturnlng heavllj laden with inaterl.il, both
lionej nnd wax. none of Its ow.n Actual
science is eager to barn bv deeper studj
nioio fullv its own material, the parasitic
subjects, whatever they are, beg, borrow nnd
pillage from any gay source, fijlng wlilthei
thej will, hiving and living on n wealth which
thej cannot produce themselves Howcvei,
"we must confess that they ore busy; but
even among them theie be drones
THE Gownsman iloes not wish to be hyper
critical, but he is possessed of convlc
tlon. And one of them Is that tho "-clence"
of "how to ilo It in tho classroom" Is of tho
parasitic ouler because there Is no part of it
whli h Is in anv wise important which Is not
a derivative of the material of hlstorj-. blog.
raphj-, psjihologj, philosophy or somo other
luwnili of speculation Moreover, "how to do
It' can never be In anj true sense n science;
it Is scarcely so much nn art ns a collection
of precepts, anil one cannot but ask the per
tinent question If a masterv of tnnvv ledge
ns to "how to do It In the classroom Is really
so Important so much more Imperative, we
are even told at times, than "a mere knowl
edge of the subject" whv are master peda
gogues not more commonlj actually master
teachers?
A SMALLISH bov once lnutcd himelf to a
Placo In n lawjcr's office. "I have noth
ing for jou to do, my boj-." "Hut may I sit
hero by the door and open tho envelopes If
MlssVjplst is too busy? And jou pay rno
only fo'r what jou need to have me do''
"Veiy well." And that boy, being a clever
bov nnd n serviceable, became before long
Indispensable When he did not find work
ho invented work,' he anticipated work, he
Intioduced nn 'indispensable" sjstem which
could be run only by his own "indispensable"
self because ho was the only one who really
understood about It He had never touched
a tj pew tiling machine beforo he went Into
tho office, but he was soon Instructing Miss
Tjplst In the proper wav In which to write
He sjstem itlzsM tjie law library so that
nohodj could find anj book In It except him
self Tho files of law papers, briefs and the
like were m.irvclouslj arranged on a sjs
tem of his own, which, not Uelng possessed
of his particular cast of inlnd, nobody but
himself really understood though bo was
alwnjs explaining It At last he began the
Intioiluctlon of bis art of "how to do it" Into
the legal business of the office. Ho had grown
by this time larger, more aggressive Ho
knew no law and did not want to know nns,
but ho knew how nny legal case could be
inducted In a better manner than th.it In
vogue a matter of no veij profound knowl
edge In short, he was an expert in "how to
do It." The Gownsman does not know what
became of that boj. but he rather thinks that
he must be a professor of pedagogj some
wheie. THEIii: will come a time doubtless when
tho young among thoso who are to teach
will take a 20 per cent exemption from the
amount of their study, learning 80 per cent
ns much In the gross total as heretofore,
being four times as well or ill educated as
they aro now Instead of five times. In order
that they may spend this 20 per cent of their
time learning "how to do it " And corre
spondingly the Gownsman does not doubt
that the excellent army practlco of putting
the old fellows through their paces will bo
extended to those hapless old schoolmasters
who had the misfortune to be born In tho
dark ages wherein no ono could learn nny
thlng becau,so nobodj know anything about
the behavior of children (psychologically
"observed"), when there could have been no
"educational products," because nobody had
Invented the means of measuring them, and
when the dead languages were the only
things approaching 'the supervisory corps"
or corpse, the Gownsman, In his Ignorance
knows not which Why should we allow
theso relics of unenlightened times to cum
bor our schoolrooms with the continuation of
a success in teaching which must have'eome
only bj accident? The science of "how to do
It" knows no accidents, It deals In "certain
ties based upon obscrvei facts" It knows
that there Is nothing whleh is Immeasurable
from the brain power of a chimpanzee to the
precise degree and color of gtnlus necessary
to' produco an abiding work of art, There Is
nothing Immeasurable except the possibilities
of ' how to do It." .
" Tho dispatches say
Mrlnelni lllm? that Emperor Charles,
of Austria, harf again
wired tho Kaiser. "Wired?
The soldier who writes home that the
Germans dre outclassed by The Americans Is
telling jiothlng new. The Germans have
never won a battle fn which they did not out
number their enemy. .
Every map' can be his own Jim Corbett
and punch the Germans by subscribing for a
Liberty Bond.
t..
With , standard brands of smoking to
bacco commandeered for the soldiers the
horrors" of war are beglunlng to com horns
to every owner of a T. D,.
Mr. Gerard's Goods Court-Martiakd
By Our Special Correspondent
Mr Clerdnl household clferls sl.ireil In a
wftrehouso in llprllli rmve been eizel bj the
German Government Ntwa illspatcli
AGEHMAX CAPITAL, Apill" 17 -Proceedings
were today by rourt-maitlal
upon tho household goods of the late am
bassudor of the Vcrelnlgten Stautcn, J nines
W. Gerard, instituted. Your correspondent,
bj disguising himself as a trainer of mili
tary dnchshundsXnn'd keeping nil his veibs
well to tho icar. admission was able to se
cure and the censor to foil
Gieat indignation has been lit this city
apparent for somo months at the fact that
the exceedingly .sumptuous domestic ef
fects of Botsehnfter Gerard In a warehouse
still stored were, nnd tho rumor was that
many noui lulling foodstuffs were' In tho
collection Included.
The Court Chamberlain presided, and
said It was the pcisonal will of n vCrj- high
peisonagc indeed that Sir. Gerald's goods
be to n strict accountability held for tho
misdeeds of their master.
mifE lit st item to lie called to the bar
1
was half a pound of white sugar. Amid
universal silence nnd awe this for the use
of the Imperial household sequestiated was.
Three housewives In tho rear of the court
with emotion fainted.
Much excitement was caused by tho ex
amination of Mr. Gerard's art collection,
Including some excellent oil paintings bv
Uontalno Io, Clate Biiggs and other old
masters. The 'leprcsentatlve of the cut
ttistnlnisterlum, who present was, pleaded
that these valuable objects be temoved to
the national art gallerj", but the com t ruled
salut popull xit)rama lex. Tho Chamber
lain insisted thnt tho canvases, containing
rich and fatty oils, should be to the Pood
Minister turned over, for reduction into
soup. Somo of the best families of this
city havo applied fqr permission to include
the paintings of the Botsehnfter Jn their to
n.ortovv's menu.
A number of double barreled fowling
pieces were found. The Wnr Minis'er his
delight expressed, and said that with these
re-enforcements thero would ho no doubt
ns to success on the western front. "These
no treacherous weapons," he exclaimed,
"which have cost the lives of (deleted by
censor) German pheasants and ducks, will
now be turned against tho perfl Ileus
breasts of their owner's countrymen"
AXUMBEIt of articles exhibited were
"which the catalogue listed ns "antique
vases," but It to jour correspondent evi
dent vvas that these nickel-plated cuspidors
were. Tho Minister of Turnlng-Evcrythlng.
to-Valuable-Mllltary-Uso demanded these
for helmets, and they wero so requisitioned.
A sharp discussion took place between
the Chamberlain and tho Minlster-tor-De-vlslng-Vlctuals-from-What-Was-rormerly-Consldered-Uneatablc.
The subject of the
argument was a very highly enameled por
trait of the imperial dachshunds, formerly
to the. Botschafter by a very high person
age given. Tho Mlnlster-for-DcvIslng-Vic-tuals
claimed that this portrait had a ric.li
value In calories, nd that it could Intq
quite useful synthetic sausages be turned,
which, even if not eatable, might be, dis
played In shop windows to revlvo trio
spirits of tho populace. The Chamberlain
insisted, however, thai such a portrait
could best servo the Interests of the empire
if sent to the front to terrify the enemy.
A LEGAjL pofnt of much subtlety arose.
-The question at Issufy was, these house
hold effects, of what crime ore they gulty'
Are they, by the same stigma, attaching to
A
1918
"G'BY!!"
J.o '
their Into owner attainted" Or are they of
leo inajcste guiltj'.' Oi aie they simply
to bo confiscated'.'
The Mlnlster-for-Kceping-Up-tlic Spirlts-ot-thc-Gennaii-Kolk-oj-All-Means-l''air-or-lAml
wjT called upon to lay down the law
on this point. He said, In part: These
articles, belonging to the late ambassador
fiom that countij which shall bo nume
less, arc guiltj of conspiracy- against the
German empire. Thev of pseudo kultur
convicted have been, and of attempting to
lutioduce Into this nation fulse standards ot
art. It Is treasonable against the instinc
tive beauty-sense of the German people to
permit china, bed lljien, crockeiy and ob
jects of m t to remain unadnilred in the
fastness of a w alehouse. Mugs to be drunk
out of made are, sheets likewise to be slept
on mo f.iln icnteil. Mm cover, ho filed, It
Is to tho best Interests ot Mi. Gerard him
self that tl.ese so choice aitlc'es bo kept in
ii-e. thnt they i list not neither mildew In
the lecesse.s of a liotise-for-thc safc-kcep-Ing-of-valuableai
tides. Mrs. Gei.ud would
far rather, said lie, that her linens and
damasks vveic being used by some fair and
comelj hnusfrau than that they should the
Incursions of moth and worm enduie.
This argument indignantly quashed was,
us being lacking in truo Germanic frank
ness nnd decisiveness. The Chamberlain
pronounced tho verdict: "Tho goods nto
to bo confiscated as dangerous enemies of
the empire. Thej me subject to tho same
criticism that against Mr. (lei aid leveled
Is, that they unsci upulously continue to
exist after having Inclined tho dlsplcasuie
of the Great General Stalf."
milE censor very loth was to let through
the following Item, which, however, I
ultlmatelj lim to o K. persuaded. Tho
valet or a very high pcrsonngo tit tho
couit-maitlal present was, -md put In a
requisition for tho Botschafttr's trouser
pressor. It is iiimorcd in exceedingly lofty
citcles that thoso in authority were alvvajs
Jealous of Hie ci eases in tho ambassadorial
garments, and that un improvement In this
matter is now to bo looked for In a pair of
very exalted limbs. It Is also said that tho
Empress, now that the supply of Paila
hats so exhausted Is, will be seen wearing
n creation of tho Botschaftcrin, but your
correspondent is not nuthentic on that
point.
If there Is anj thing
olll riiangr In Philadelphia that
Mreet Contractor,! ! needs cleaning up and
If changes will effect
a clean-up," saj-s Senator Varo ot the
Mayoi's vice crusade, "then I am In favor of
them."
The Liberty Gifts
"Tired of giving," friend, jou say?
Tired of giving what?
Tho gold jou'vo gathered along j-our way,
The worldly goods jou'vo got?
Well, I am tired of giving, too,
But my gifts wefo not of gold;
I gavo of my flesh and blood, but ou
Gave what Is lifeless and cold,
p
I've given my heart, my home, my all;
I'vo given three cherished sons'.
In answer to weet Freedom's call
They died to halt tho Huns.
"Tired of giving," friend, you bay?
Tired of giving what?
your price Is a little one td-poy,
Your U, a happy Jot. . ,
. .. JACK SHENNAN,
i,l,l - - -. --- - ".m. ' v"ff .
THE READER'S VIEWPOINT
Injustice in the Draft
1 o the Vtlltir of the Vvcning Public I.eigtr
Sir A few weeks ngo I lead jour editorial
entitled "A Draft Safe for Democracj " You
stated that a lennsjlvanlan between theastj
of twenty-one and thlttj-onc J ears ai (0
per cent more Ilablo to be called In the list
draft than an Alabaman or a Florldan, and
jou further stated that I'ennsjlvanla and
Xew- Jet ey supplied one-third more than a
proper quota of selected men on a genuine
democratic balH of selection in th Jjr
drawing" You added, 'That these are more
than Inequalities; thej arc injustices" I
agree with jou
It is not I'ennsjlvanla alone which can
complain of such Injustices VJluU about
Porto Itlca" I'm to Ulco, with 1118.012 In
habitants, must give a quota of U'.MJ sol
diers, while the Stato of Nebraska, with
population bt 1.192.2H. gives onl 8185; Xew
York, with 9.11.1,014 Inhabitants, has a quell
of 89,241, and Viiglnl.i, with L'.Ool C12 Inhabi
tants, contributes 13.79., oi 9CJ more men
than Porto ltlcn
If the Stato of New Yoik were to supplf
soldleis at the same mte ns I'oito Uico
that Is. 12,000 for cverv 1 noo.onj Iti shin
would be more than 100,000 and still It Is
only a little more than one-half that number
The world cannot bo made safe for demos
i.icy until demociacj- Itself performs the
work, and democracj, pure democracy, "
last el upon Justice and equalltv
EUGENE VEKA.
Albrtiij-, X Y., April 10
Would Rouse the Churches
To the Editor of the Kvenlnp l'ublic Letlgtr:
Sir In theso ci Itlca times, when our verr
civilization Is nt stake, when we are dlttlnl J
up every root which might possiblj prove! ,
tonic to our patriotism how Is it that our
churches are not more 11111113111" t.
Let our ministers deign to become adver
tisers for the nonce and keep probing their J
flock to tho constant sacrifices absolutely
necessary for their countrj's sake Now l"-'
the nccentcd time Xarmvv contentions over stf
doctrinnl nolntH must io kbr.lv pd After the
w ar they, will probably not stand out In their
former Importance.
Churches nro not usually penniless VM
can they not Invest, as n corporate body. In
Liberty Bonds'
Invito occasionally eoiiio good orator1
jucieriiniy not irom any theological conrc. j
Tho pow er of suggestion furnished by such a
topic as freedom from tho grasp of the. great!
oppressors could not fall to leave n'deep lit
press on the conerecitlnn Add the enw
tlonal effect of patriotic music the "JUr-elki
laise," the "Bed, White and Blue" Above" alt
lit our "Star Spangled Banner" echo to tin
root irom every voice A jwvjjua.i.
Philadelphia, prll 1C.
What Do You Know?
OUIZ
1. Vtldili U the Holy tlty unci widen the Etfrail;
ciiij
3. Name the author of "The Meld: That I'alle.
3. Identify "thn ljimlitnir I'lillnsoilher."
4. Mliero nnd what wj the Jluson and VUfi
i.iner
S. Mliut lit tlm Multhuklan doctrine?
a. Mini t la meant liy "the Land of Kod"!
7. Where In Vnrr?
K It l.n ..n.. !.... M.I..
0. Vthat nre tlm ".upvorter." of the PrlUrtJ
ro)nl aim? .1
10. H No Is the American Ambanador to the Cowll
ott. Jameif ' 1
Answrrs in Yesterdnv's Quiz
1. The Romanoffs were- the rrlrnlni home- lT
..unnii iiiiiii .lie mviuiiiHM .s
3. IUrwIrh. n forlltlrd port on Ibe rail'M, rjJJJI
of Kiuliind. now clo-eH to commercial "-j
..low ..nit huiI n . Ml.l hit...
ft ttinV r ri.... in .i....!..! .mtlinliiKr s rl.uSl
whlrh made lt wearer tnii-lblx. Mr !"!(l
if lis nower tlj.e-t innrdfml the- IM 1
l.jdlu und eeUrfl the throne. mfKk
i, Jonathan Hnlft. Irl-ti author, wroto "Gaiu-Vj
3. Ilalllmare I somctlmea called "the ""'"MM
0. Crown l'rlnce Kuimrrrlit. commander i . ,(i
. man force, an the wetrrn front, l 'r J
the throne ot llnvurla. . J
7. Bordeaux mliture, u fuHIfiu "r "iiliul-M
tree und plant., comnoaed of blo i"
nine ami water. r
8. Neolol.nil a nenlr rolnrd word or ne "" -j
Ins for n familiar word, .A
0. Martin Tapper l the author of th"J;, if
"A babnn I he lioute I a -flUPrl"
pleanurc,"
10. Montr of ri slloxlnr a ufrndre4 "
to keep but arm. nail tuuiUrn,
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