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BMIltHT. ; . , , . . t , i
Editor
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it.iHiioMH zuu JuetroDOiuan rower
t W f t . J .1 . i 403 Font Itulldlnic
!' ... .1203 Trtoune liulWlni
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V -KEW8 BUREAUS:
BllltC, . '
, cor. rennsyirania, Ave. una iin hi.
8ciuc.i... The pi Dulldlnir
Sail!... . .tfan-nnl HauM. Htranrl
jHUiu.... 32 Hu LouU le arand
JV BUBSCntPTTON TEIUI3
TlM.SrxifiHa Ptbuo Un U ssi-red to nub
seribera In Philadelphia and aurroundlnf- towns
; fee rat of tweive (IS) ceats per week, payable
ta Ma aarrlnr.
s!
TiTMU to points outside or Fnneaeipnja. in
r.mall
poll
ate.
tka United Mtates. Canada or United Statu cos
imumi, poiura rrw. nrtr isu; eenis per mo
'MK (ft) dollars pan year, payable In advance,
free, fifty (30) eenta per month.
. 1) all, torelcn countries on (11) dollar per
iiuiiaia 117 ibbi. vbibuiu ii uiiiilvi
segpn,.
IfoTIO Subscribers wlshlnr address chanrcd
';SM1. tv old as well as new address.
ft ,5 v
; ,faU, MM TALKUT XETSTOJiT, MAW 6M
'! - -
V
XA44rt$ ail communication to Kvtnina PuhUo
rf AC9trcr9 iwocyrnarwee gq-arr, rnaunpnwt
-fe;JlTfl AT TH J-BltADSLrBliv PtM OITIC AS
-7y tECOXP CLA18 MAIL MATT IB.
' , J II
LiMnkntlkTlM'ttMwnti John c
ittrr sjtfrrsasei'eei rhilip b.cnlilns,1
lllaaas.) Jim j.'.Pawseon. Directors.
AL" ,'
&M
? j, UHiacirDiat k-ainiua fiu jv, sn
' fc w -- ---
ANOTHER RUSSIAN PHASE
1 fTUIE news that tlio Congrcsn of Soviets
' .In Moscow lias ratlllcd tlio Drest-
?", Lltcrrslc peace treaty will surprlso no one,
?' however much the friends of Russia among
. ? me Allies may rcgrei u.
& me i'etrograu revolutionists wno con-
,ented to Iho treaty In the first place were
'r Abound to do all In their power to bring
$ 4abont Its ratification. They aro experts In
t political manipulation. AVIthout doubt they
t, ptrsuaucu tne soviet uciegate? from otner
;'l nnrfrt nf TIltKtfi ihnt rnttflrntlnn t:ia tho
' ..f . Anil, ivtlllvn rmeallitn
'does not definitely fix the attitude of the
great mass of the ttusstan people toward
r
the' Germans nor toward the war. It la
but a phase of th"e great movement under
way. ,Tlio Russian people themselves have
not spoken. Tho Rolshcvikl make up only
a. small part of tho mass; but they are the
active, agitating part. They vtere ready to
uclze pqwer as soon as tho opportunity
offered and they havq been making tho
most of the situation,
They havo had the sympathy of America,
but that sympathy ias extended to them
not as the custodians of all Russian wis
dom, but as tho dp facto agents, of tlio
revolution secklntr to establish somo form
Ski of democratic rule. They .'ill doubtless be
? tl1MUJ In tnri. lit. aMj.m M..n In ...
aiwvvt.ucu , w.i.u uj villi; bluui'D " fcUlll
" until. the great Inarticulate mass of neonlc.
V , merging from centuries of autocratic rule,
" discovers Its voice and lcrrns what It
r'wants. The process will be slo and It will
IS, pe8cccmpanlcd by many Kctbacks. But
sj. theprocess has begun.
The hope of tbo Allies In the jiresent
situation Is that the uncertainty about the
.ft, acceptanceS)f tho verdict of tho Congress
CI" f ITlK CAOlAfn l. . l BAn.lA ....1.1. . .
Congress may bo so great as to make It
'U t Impossible fob the Germans to regard It as
U final nu conclusive. Such an outcomo will
compel tho German military forces to bo on
LW' tne alert on tno Russian front. And the
,:,, longer tho uncertainty continues tho
("?' Kreatcr we the chances that Russia Itself,
,.'' tho lSea! Russia, will find Itself and decide
'? that the Gormanlzatlon of the great na-
i tSj tlon Is, tho ono thing to which It will not
jf&. k
F.v , P1'
The hotel' cabarets here are planning a
;-' hard fight o mix 'music and menus, tnus
... making It hard for a lot of folks to eat.
SV. ri '
feMj THE BOARD IS WISE
VfTIHliJ Intention of tho Board of Education
tnot'to(take part In tho movement lookA
XvMMi, toward a revision of the school code.
fhftyitha next Legislature as affecting cities
'?. f th flrs' class, Is commendable. The
ducatlsnal authorities of tho city have no
tf? rightful 'place In politics. Abolition of tho
M A ,aecHonat boards as powerful factors In tho
'.'aehnnl rvtm 1fmlnntf.rl n prrlni. n-ll n..T
. "ii Z'.J ,.. '"""
.grave ueinmeni. Miiuro aro plenty ot
, ' .Individual advocates and organized agencies'
jUvJtfi,. press needed school reforms to lcglsla-
k. , ?V.I.. A AHMMAH M. .l.n 1 ....
' ';iiB CJai.Ul:l.v U11U .IIU JIlClllUCIB Ul UIO
.hoard are (w)so In refraining from any par
. tlersation. that would warrant the rhar
""I'i. .tit
'J.-- Philadelphia will have to postpone Its
aixperlence with "trench nerves" to the post-
V.! oeuu.n pcrioa ivnen bud way Gigging ueglns.
THE TALKATIVE HEROES
. uUS'
TT?11 somo time now tho air has been
.fll.lne with doubtful murmurs relative
to-'ihoo returning warriors who aren't
'aVprse" to capitalizing their heroism
tJirough: the medium of letters or the lee
tMrtptetform, Sparks that appeared Ilko
tl,Oi preliminary io some sort of general
t tot: criticism tiayo actually been
if. jPlttsburgh. Sergeant Empey,
Ht.to have given the Huns a long
Ught, wjthout once losing his
f. lift Pittsburgh In a flare of indlg-
yMrday and canceled all his
aMagenwntB oecause some one
tat".:h.shad asked ,$1000 as the
af a 'Toture tor a war charity.
to'eniy a yagiie denial of the
aBswatton.'
it iusit 'am that the talkative
: H tkt nyona Ji bo were disposed
mm wwre.potn. naii; wrong.
.Ul attantMarve7 t,o, his credit.
tl tranctWA tw. t)w fire in large
t ift aald to-'(;',iojwe"a quarter
tn lawwc Mt wtif)g of ins
Ha daaarw 'tf '. .too. do
rchr abtri mw twive ixoeme
tnouafl. itMy sonHtlmes
ptn. Even If Bmay,"wr
fbarlty ltur-, he Htae
hjafad proit for q .
ni of uatr niM warn
' BV laaa.BaiB!l sflaMHaaaVk!
.Sk. a.B -im. 1
wiTTnifFT'aWiTiTii
THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK
WELL, welll Theso aro frank times.
Secret archives and even more secret
consciences aro being exposed every
where in tho high places to the eyes of a
dazed but still appreciative world.
Governor Brumbaugh and the personal
diary from which ho is to read presum
ably crushing records of his intercourse
with State Senator Sproul nro dimly
reminiscent of the tumultuous Bolshcvlki
roaring in tho EoTcign Ofllce at Pctro
grad and flaunting tho secret treaties of
tho old government in tho light of day.
He began well. If Senator Sproul did
embellish with n rasping "damn!" tho
causo of prohibition, for which ho is now
flng-wavcr-ln-chief, we will welcome
preof of it. The incident has a bright
significance. 'The Senator would seem to
be a man of painfully limited vocnbulary.
No one will pity"him in this black hour
of his showing up.
But tho literary art as it is applied in
diaries is a curiously revealing thing.
Diaries arc a test of personality. They
arc a temptation. They are the Post,
refusing to go away. They are a twilight
shelter for a multitudo of ghosts, dead
tilings that turn and stir and lift troubled
faces and pluck you by tho elbow when
the pages of their resting place aro
turned.
Governor Brumbaugh has promised us
somo diverting days in opening his Lit
tle Black Book to the world. For cheers
will greet tho appearance of that odd
bibelot only if it be opened wide, like the
gates of the morning or the road to
Pctrograd.
The awed crowds that foregather to
hear just what the Governor said to
Senator Sproul when the Senator tossed
off that naughty word about prohibition
will listen intcntly'for the chief revela
tions for the passages in tho Little
Black Book which must be written some
where to reveal the origin of that curious
ingenuousness which has afflicted Mr.
Brumbaugh ever sincX: he went to Har
risburg as Governor. And there will be
multitudes wniting for tho chapters and
records of those lyric afternoons when
Mr. Brumbaugh had his trousers pressed
three times in quick succession at the
expense of the State. When Mr. Brum
baugh declaims from. his diary at this
point he may set his stuff to music or ho
may even sing it without nny suggestion
of unseemliness. They must have been
wonderful afternoons, filled with peace
and the assurances of well-being.
Did Mr. Brumbaugh, with the natural
disposition for words and their effectivo
employment, manage to fight the tempta
tions of jthe sonnet form when ho wrote
in the Little Black Book of those chauf
feurs whoso beauty of soul and charms
of manner caused him to endow them
with ?5 tips from tho contingent fund of
his oflice? We shall see, we shall see!
No one has ever been able to learn what
the Governor actually thought or felt in
such instances since the legislative hub
bub that nttended the general disclosures
last year.
There arc pages of the Little Black
Book surely in which the name of Wil
liam H. Smith, former State Banking
Commissioner, figures large. When Mr.
Brumbaugh reads that part of his diary
from the stump he will bo listened io
eagerly. What wns tho light that broke
upon the Governor when, after Mr. Smitli
had announced his determination to keep
his department clean of politics, Mr.
Brumbaugh told him he loved him like n
brother and asked the next day for his
resignation? Tho Little Black Book
should tell that, too. What discouraged
and depressed Dr. Samuel G. Dixon in
the last days of his life when, after a
long and admirable administration of the
State Department of Health, he was
crowded and mysteriously harassed until
rumors of his resignation became gen
eral? And tho check for $1000 sent by
Senator George T. Oliver, cashed by Mr.
Brumbaugh and never satisfactorily
explained? Will tho Governor read the
complete narrative from the pages of his
Little Blacl; Book?
One thing can be said for tho Bol
sheviki: wh,cn they start a thing they
finish it. Their imitators cannot afford
to do less. A cheerful summer should bo
in prospect, therefore, for all those who
can find timo to listen to a stumping
Governor.
Admission by tho P. R. T. chiefs that
their sen Ice is bad" doesn't make the
service any better.
SPRING AND GASOLINE
ONE man who had the beginnings of an
astute philosopher In him said the aver,
age married man usually develops a pas
aionate devotldn to a motorcar because he
can find in the hew contraption one ani
mate thing always ready to obey him.
Tho change from ordinary experienco was.
presumed to be tonic Wd Ineffably cheer
ing. The nmateur pundit was probably
wrong, since women aro even more fever
ish about motors after they learn the
gears. Or it may be that tho rule la
doublo jictJng. One thing only is certain.
Gone-lino a a pcont has, replaced the
odor of arbutus as the truest and subtlest
harbinger offspring. Garage, men re more
ant'Ute, appraisers ot tho omens of the
bpjy, 'change than street piano men used
to be when they bad the field to them-
- - " - '' - - - Akt. -- '
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER
of magnetos and batteries and primers
and tho like, tho gUrage man knows what
Is In tho air far away. Tho phenomenon
Is common now. The motor owner feels
that all Provldenco Is gettlnr tho country
ready for him. And.. If ho Is a steady
minded man with a steady-minded car, lib
Isn't far wrong. Ho has the next best
thing to wings.
As soon as u cindldato Is picked some
one begins to pick on him.
TRANSIT APOLOGIA
TrANy cars had to be run by green
- men," Is one of the six ways In
which Jlr. Mitten, of tho P. R. T., ad
mitted tho deficient transit service which
was n menare o public health and com
fort and n handicap to public business
dui'lng tho winter.
That accounts for tho green cars. Rut
what about tho yellow cars on tho Fifty
second and Sixtieth streets and other lines
main traelcd routes where conditions
were tho worst?
It la easy to realize that drafting of Its
employes and priority orders for war work
In shops that had contracts for lis equip
ment hampered tho nystcm and slackened
tho Fcnlcc.
It Is. not eaiy to understand a total
breakdown of any system, that was sys
tematic, at tho first test. It Is still less
easy to condono Inefficient service and In
adequate rolling stock when preparedness
for emergencies was within tlio company's
control.
Tho navy budget Is tho blgKest In the
nation's history. Deseredly. 'j'ho navy's
efficiency in this war'has bctn greater limn
that of any other department.
CONVENTIONS AS USUAL? OF
COURSE
CONVENTION'S us Uiual arc a good thing
and Philadelphia U n good place for
them. This week wc havo welcomed (ho
clothing merchants, tho grcccrs and the
dairy, food and drug men. Their "sessions
hao meant solutions of many war prob
lems affecting their several activities. The
city will bo better clothed, fed and nputhc
carled ni a result of their deliberations.
Convcnt.ons nro a good deal llko the
quality ff mercy. They confer a double
blessing. They stimulate thoe'"w ho confer
Juil benefit llioso among whom they confer.
And there Is no better placo In tho
United States to hold them than Philadel
phia, with Its traditional and perennial
hospitality, lis historic bites and scenes, Its
adequate accommodations and conveni
ence"!. Philadelphia's welcome Is warm and . t
heart Is big enough for all the conventions
there are. N
fc'aing sugar means quicker tatting of
tho sweets ot -lctory.
FIE ON SUCH FOOD SLACKERS
WE HASTE
ot tho flfte
TEN to sound a paean In honor
fifteen officials of tho local food
administration who faro wholesomely, we
havo no doubt, but not as gourmets, at tho
humble noon board, scientifically culorized
and legally Hooverlzcd by tho expert
dietitian who tells housewives how to put
war food regulations Into tho family
menus. If wo had the barbed satire of
the ancient versifier Archllochus wo might
Mns n snrcastlcal ode that would bring
kiting back to the luncheon table the
scoro of officials who have deserted the
food squad for moro fanciful fate.
All honor to tlio corn-fed, Migar-Faving,
fat-conserving fifteen patriots who are men
enough to take their own medicine, or at
least, If it Is not fo bitter a dose as that,
who smilingly partako ot plain food and
high thinking. And flo on the hcoro of
food slackers who aro quick to dictate but
slow to diet.
Tho Major Is back from Atlantic City.
Sing, everybody!
IN THE MARKET 'AGAIN
DEMETRA VAKA, an expert on tho
Balkan situation, reports In her latest
book an Interesting conversation with the
former chief of Btaff of the Grecian army
about Bulgaria. Hero Is part of It:
"When did -sho definitely decide to go
with Germany?"
"The day she attacked Serbia."
"Do jou mean to be humoious?"
"I am never humorous. Sho could hae
been bought up to the last day." Re mnd
a long pause; then added: "ll'c could
have bought her."
"Then sho was honest when sho was
parlojlns with both parties?"
"You misuso the word, inadame. Sho
was up for sale, and sho was knocked
down to the highest bidder."
Now comes the news from Washington
that King Ferdinand Is understood to have
offered to desert Germany and Join the
Allies If tho Allies will guarantee to him
possession of thoso parts of Greece, Ru
mania and Serbia which aro now in the
control of his troops.
In brief, now that ho has got everything
possible from Germany, he Is offering him
self to the Allies provided thsy will assuro
him that ho may retain tho price paid him
when he last put himself on the auction
block. -
It Is not likely that he will find any
bidders.
Tho Far East comes nearer every day.
Why not add an embargo on hemp to the
list as a warning to spies?
It begins to seem fhat the few friends
the demon has left are ashamed to acknowl
edge him. r
tr. a, troops ready to attack acjlhlnr.
Headline.
Anywhere 1
King Ferdinand of Bulgaria, with olive
branch for scepter, mutt think America is
-after ft separate peace.
k Tho CJepmans have bottled up the Rus
sian fleet In the Baltic, but it remains to be
teen, if they have put In the cork.
.I..
What every ono would Jlke to Know Is
why arty sort of unrestricted food becomes
scarce as soon as It becomes popular.
Thieves are low said to have operated
successfully In City Hall. ' Captain Tate, of
the 'Detective Bureau, had ' better keep his
hand on bis watch.
J ' i
A .."'I.
I i
VMvanHr.wWjk.
itua lt.)
- PHiLADELPHIA, SATURDAY, MAtiOH 10,
GOV. PENNYPACKER
CRITICIZES WILSON
Objected to President's Actions
Just Before He Became the
Nation's Executive
rr.NxirACKi:n AfioiiiocRAntY xo. ins
(Copvrtoht. lit). 1,1 rublle Ltigcr Company)
JOHN R. BROOKE
JOHN R. BROOKE, who fought at Gcttys
" burg, commanded In Cuba during our war
with Spain, who 'has been tho senior major
general in tho United States army, callod
on me, Novembor 20, 1913, together with
Major David' S. II. Chew, to ask me to
try to prevent tho memorial erected in
Germantown, to commemoralo the battle,
from being disturbed.
By my appointment ho had been a
member of the commission which erected
tho memorial, and had been much talked
of for tho governorship nt tho time I was
selected. He told me of his trouble mid
then sat In my olflco and talked. A large
man, weighing perhaps 220 pounds, with
gray hair, blue eyes and a doublo chin, he
did pretty much all of the talking and was
dellberato with low uncmphntlc utter
ance to tho point almost of exasperation.
Ho had been in tho f.ame class with Dr.
Nathan A. Fonnypacker In tho school nt
the Trappe. Ho had been at the fiftieth
anniversary of tho battlo of Gettysburg
and had tliero spoken. In creating the com
mission, Governor Stuart had asked him
to bo a subordinate to General Louis Wag
ner, who was never at Gettysburg at all,
and had only commanded a single regiment
and was turned out of the commission by
Governor Tener, but tho general had held
too high a rank to be a bob to -any kite,
and he had declined. Ho had gono at one
time to the ofllce of General Wagner. As
ho entered ho stepped on a mat and a
bell rang. Wagner yelled at him:
"Get off ot tho mat!"
Ho turned around on the mat nnd the
bell again rang.
"Get off of the mat!" Wagner yelled
more loudly.
"Ho probably did not lccognlzc you,"
I gently suggested.
"It makes no difference who I was," ie
piled tho general." "Ho Is no gentleman. I
turned on my lucl-and have had nothing
to do with him since." And tho gencial
continued:
"Tlie rebels who tried to break up tho
Government nro now In control of It. The
Secretary of War has ordered that where
over tn the l coords' ot his department the
word 'Rebellion' Is written. It hall bo
obliterated and tho wo-ds 'The Civil War'
be substituted. It Is all due to that fellow
Roosevelt, who Is dlsordeied but has an
Infinite capacity for mischief."
WOODROW WILSON
Congress Hall had been restored to Its
original condition by the City of Philadel
phia, and was opened October 2j, 1913, with
ceremonies consisting of addresses, a mill
tnry parado and a banquet. I had met
Jlr. Wilson when ho delivered an address
before the UnlvcrMty of Pennsylvania and
now was ono of tho .committee to rcccl e
him. We met him nt tho train when he
arrived at Broad Street Station, lunched
with him at tho Bcllevue-Stratford and
escorted him to the hall whore lie made
an address. Ho Is about flvo feet nine
Inches In'hclght, with sparse hair, eyes of
no particular color, a clouded skin, lips
a little too thick that w.ibblo ubout and
do not fit together well, a smile that lights
up Ills faco but suggests that It Is a
thing of habit, and a body spare almost
to the extent of emaciation.
There aro certain men whim I havo
encountered In lite, some of them like
William Sulzer and Israel Zafigwlll, who
havo reached distinction, who give mo the
Impression that through generations ot
forefathers they havo been insufficiently
fed. A lack of nutrition, due to poverty
or to weakness of the stomach, has affected
their bodies and necessarily also their
mental action. I hao always thought that
John Calvin must have belonged to this
type. They aro generally strong-willed and,
within certain limits, efficient, but their
Judgements nre never to bo trusted, be
cause they are not broad enough Jo seo
conseqveuces In their causes. They make
such fatal mistakes as burning Michael
Hervetus to advance the causo of Chris
tianity. Wilson Is a man of this build. Whtlo
searching his features nnd contour,
I felt that I could understand tho char
acter tC the man who turned against
tho forces which elected him to tho gov
ernorship of New Jersey, who while looking
for the presidency asked Andrew Carnegie
for a pension, who while Governor of his
State abandoned It and went to Bermuda,
and who calling the attention of tho world
to his first serious address to Congress by
going In person to deliver It, wrote into
It the remarkable figure of speech "an Iso
lated Island of Jealous power,"
Ills address at Congress Hall had no re
lation to the occasion nnd had no value.
He was brought Into contrast with Champ
Clark, round, healthy, Jovial, witu spme
thlng of tho milk of human kindness In
his soul, who also mado an address.
After it was over and Wilson had slipped
away to Swarthmorc, I went up to Clark:
"How do you do, Governor?" he Inquired.
"My name Is Pcnnypacker," I said at the
same time.
"Oh, I know you very well, and anyhow I
could ttil you from the caricatures."
'You made a good speech," I followed.
"I wish to, goodness that while you Demo
crats were electing a President they had
elected you."
He laughei and replied:
"So do I."
I replied: "I should" have felt more se
cure about our national affairs." '
Then he grew sober.
(Throuih a. mechanical error tha namo of John
Law In Wednesday's Installment was printed aa
Ueors Law,) .
Mondar man. Ihf men skelrlied tir tioTernni
..nvnarker In tna last of IiIm "mlnl..t..Hi m
Htotetburr, Walt Whitman and Elihu
Hoot.
WAKES NEW YORKER UP
When the 7:38 train for Philadelphia,
pulled nto the qualpt old station at Lancas
ter on Friday mornln- ft New York drum
tnr wh.o .stood waiting to take It smiled a
wide and cheerful smjle at sound of tho 'con
ductor" e announcement j "Philadelphia train I
Gap the first stop."
if . ' .. - - ' .
. . - X v.
INTERVIEW ,
WITH A VERY SICK DEVIL
By SIMEON STRUNSKY
An Atlantic Port, March 10.
THE attractive young trained nurt-c iald:
"Mr. Demon Rum will bo glad to ppeak
to you if jou don't mind Ftepplng up to his
bedroom; he Is not icry well nt present.
You understand, of course, that umluo ex
citement of any kind " Whereupon I as
sured her that cier slneo my return from
I'etrograd I havo madc.lt a practice to walk
a block out ot my way to avoid excitement,
with tho icsult that my reputation as prob
ably tho most sedative speclnr correspondent
in the, profession Is 'established! Alap, how
little we can forecast the Immediate future!
I found tho patient In hlB armchair, wrap
ped In a blanket, hl3 feet In a tub- of hot
water, and sneezing pitifully. It Is a tribute
to ancient breeding that ecn In that uncon
ventional position something of the old sa
tanlc grace bboued In the gesture wlthNwhleh
he motioned me to a chair. I expressed the
hope that the mustaid bath was doing him
good.
"Not the least In tho world." he said. "I
do It for tho moral eltect and becauso tho
nurse Insists." ,
"In my own case a stiff dose of whisky "
I began thoughtlessly, but stopped short at
tho look of pain which Hashed across his fea
tures. "To what, sir," I said, scrambling
back into my professional aplomb, "do you
attribute tbo present er unfortunate situ
ation on your western front; also the Middle
West, tho North, tho South and tho East,
with only a ray of light in Albany?"
"It's the women voters, Mr, Sinbad," ho
e,ploded; and then, pathetically, "though for
tho life of movl cannot say why tho female
of jour species should be so dead set against
me. It's not all tho women, either. The cock
tail habit, j on nro awnre, has become qulto
bisexual. And look nt tho tearooms! liut
the majority of the women j'en."
"Do j-ou Imaglne-they nre getting cen for
that trjck you plaj-ed them Somewhere In
Mesopotamia?" I suggested.
"Mesopotamia?" he said blanklj-.
"Tin Garden of Eden, jou know, and tho
apple."
"Oh, that I" he raid. "This cold makes mo
dull, and besides my Interests nre so extensive
and widespread that lor a moment Mesopo
tamia puzzled mo. Hut don't you think that
Is rather a long timo to be nursing a
grudge?"
"Well, I don't know," I replied. You re
member what was tald at that timo: T will
put enmity between thee nnd the woman,
and between thy seed and her seed; It shall
bruise thy head and thou shalt bruise his
heel.' There was no time limit stipulated.
In fact, It seemed like a fight to alnls'i."
( ( ANn aH on account of a minor practical
Xljokc," he complained. "Indeed, Mr.
Slnhaut there are two aspects to that Inci
dent. At bottom I thought I was doing the
woman a favor. Life In that Garden was,
well, rather monotonous at times. And you
know what men are when thej' have time
hanging heavy on their hands. They grum
ble, Adam, to put It plainly, kicked. He
. complained about the climate, which he said
was enervating. He complained about the
habit the Numldlan Hon developed of coming
up'frhen Adam was asleep and licking his
face affectionately. Particularly he com
plained about the food, Ho would come home
and say, 'What? Pomegranate soup again?'
He said he was sick ot raw figs. He gild
that It he had ever had a mother she would
never have kept him on an unrelieved diet
0( breadfruit pudding, poor Eve was dis
tracted. With tho very best of Intentions.
I suggested (hat she glye him nometlilng
new for supper. Trtug&estsd th tree ot
knowledge. Where was the. harm? "You
know, when people flrit bfgun eating straw
berries It dttjjgreed with them." Ho coughed.
"Tills doesn't alter the fact that j-ou are,
"j -au wl pardon in. In a- bad waj-," I
wld. Then In my most diplomatic manner:
"What will happen When the end comes?
"Disaster, that's all," he enopped. "The
world li rapidly going f the-pardon me
(a the. cherubim. Ioole at. Russia. Their
f a4JUhd vodka, and wJw are tjieyjitewj" ,.
1018
HERE COMES THE BRIDE
down, then democracj" goes. Let me remind
you that I nm tho original democrat. I
stand for equnlltj-."
"To bo sure," I said. "I lccall now that
the Ingenious Mr. Don Marquis recently de
efopdl th theslH that the unlierso Is ruled
by an autocrat, and that jou, Satan, aie tho
leader of tlio Opposition."
"Don Maiquls?" he said.
"Tho namo must be familiar." I lepllcd.
"Because, jou know, when ho Isn't writing
about his two-j ear-old kid, lie writes about
you,"
Dut like all Ininlids, iny host was ex
it emcly stlf-centeitd.
"I am a democrat In another waj It Is I.
the Demon Rum, that levels all ranks. It Is
I that can talto tho poor hobo nnd lift him.
temporal ily, to tho throno of kings and the
bosom of tho prophets. I am tho source ot
Ini-pliatlon. I make poets nnd painters. Re
member tho Mermaid Taein, and good old
Will from Warn lekshlre."
"Yes, and poor Marlowe," I replied, escap
ing for tho moment, from my Journalistic
equipoise.
"A k cond-rater who couldn't stand i his
liquor." he sneered, but recovered himself.
"Wo will not quarrel. AVh man, what bet
ter do you usk than this? Tho priests them
selies cannot cany on thqlr olllces without
inc. Think of tho racrcd soma of tho Hin
dus, of tho whie that was poured In the Tem
ple at Jeiusalem. Do' jou know what they
say about me may como true? If my condi
tion doesn't show a chango for tho better, I
am seriously thinking of turning monk."
"And why?" I said, fnlllng Into tho trap,
""pECATJSE tho Federal amendment ex
.JD empts wlno for religious purposes."
And then, feeling much better over bis own
little Joko: "Look at wluit that great demo
crat, O. K. Chesterton, says about me. What
will happen to conviviality, to fraternity?
You remember Chesterton asking whether,
after I Jim gone, people will treat each other
to half la pound ot cheese. Imagine, I saj-,
Chesterton without me. You ought to know.
He Is In jour line of business."
It was not a bad point,
"Do j-ou think." I said, "that if I drank,
I could learn to write llko Chesterton?"
"My dear fellow. I lmen't tho slightest
doubt on tho subject." he replied heartllj-,
"Though, of course, you'd havo to take a
good deal. Hut that Isn't the point, cither
What I meant was this: Why have. they put
me out of business In the South? Becauso
they want to keep mo away from the negroes.
The dominant whites feci they themselves
will manage somehow need I explain?
And do jou call that democracy'
I had to confess It was a point.
"And finally, iny dear Sinbad, there la the
question of what nro you going to put In my
place. You will agreo that wo'camiot be
merely destructive. Wo must have a moral
equivalent for well, me."
"So now it's William James," I said.
"I have been reading," no replied. "What
else Is there to do with this beastly cold?
You won't deny I have supplied the human
race with a certain atnoimc of exhilaration
Well, then?"
But there I had him.
"That's Just It." I shouted, waving my
notebook nt him, "The war has done for you
because the war has given us an equivalent
a moral equivalent; becauso you stand In
the way, old chap. You might as well make
up your mind and say good-by,"
Ha threw up his hands and the tears I
assume thoy were tears, though It might
have been that catarrh In tho head streamed
down his cheeks.
"Kamerad. Kamerad," he pleaded. "Don't
rub It In. Don't I know It?" But at that
moment the eminently attractive trained
nurse JIH in With n. teUirrnm r.. .-..
took just one glancs and reveal -d the mottj
. ... .-. ...,H.,VV WA .,, v. vuii) UICSCT O
on lecord,
"Its from Aibanj-." he shouted: "86 to 01
In my favor. Or else ft moral equivalent."
"You mean?'
"Mr. Whitman's re-election." he exulted.
f 'SrNBAD.
i i i ?-
SOCIAL CAMOUFLAGE
'-' whn.Jun,fy to to the,oltyaa4'
DEAR LITTLE SHAMROCK
A Prose Poem in Praise of It hy a True y
Scotch-Irishman J
milERE Is in this town a real Scotch-lruh $
lad. By that we mean a Scot who Uta
good enough to bo Irish; with tho heart vxk
glory In tho merits and the mind to adi)nlt.,?J
tho faults of both branches of the Gaellerpj
mp. 171a frnnl nnm. it T!.nriltA" tlllflt'l .1
v - ....- ,
VII Ills WSI11U& UIIU U1LV1 lll.ll mow lift ' ' ,j
IVliAn lUr mlnila trrii , li l fiMI- flll4rtM Cll
"""l -"V .ia ..u.ii ... .wm. -,...-...,
of the world meet together In mia-.Marcn-v
nml en rnflrlnrr nnil (purine nround In true.
Celtic convention fashion Geordlo is by way W
of being strangely stirred by them. He talks, JM
and his talk Is full of It Ish spirit. m
So upon this eyo of the feast ot M. rai;
rick this Is the speech of him:
"The grabby Scot has tried to rob poor
old Ireland of thn elorv of the Fenian Haddle.
That Is but recent! Beforctlmes they haT
trl,1 In i-ftl. lu- nf ,1m Trtah imtfltn. -J
" """ " "" "w" '
That from Antrim's sjior S
Tn fnmnui Kprrv '.1
Purms the poor man's stort.
nnd credit the same to Chllo and Peru. ThiT,
haeicven tried to make out that our patrt
arch, patron and hero, St. Patrick, was
Scot before he sailed im Bantrv Bar. eltttnf
strlde-leaeed across on the ton of a whali?
to chaso the devil and the snakes away from,w
our Emerald Isle. But there Is one UilniM
they can't do ! They can't rob us of our 4M
little, green littlo shamrock.
"The shamrock ls'emblematlc ot all Uulj
Is charmlntr and lovable In the Irish char
acter. It holds n. unlnue nlace in the realms
of sentiment. Among people of Celtic end-
Snron nrlirln t In helil In the warmest affec-s
tlon. And It endears tho blending thouthri
of tho bard on its trinity. y.
Tnree sodiixo rrienas aim
T.nvj. vftlnr wit. fnrViT. ..?ll
iai
"We care nothing for "Blcheno ana nis;
flulk -icnlnnlla; Wltherlne or Itennle. Wttll'l
their Trlfollum rcpens; or London, with Wis
Medlcago lupullna. 'Vast with those V3,f
botanists! We go back of them all to ..'
IH.h TTttrilhrna nitl.lUlicrt In 1699. where Wt '"
are told: 'PA
Krrlnsn. hatiDy aorincs. adorned with salUta.j
Which nature purpos'il for their pallats;
UIibi tMAisa ohil tm-A (asusass Isa fthrttvB
Which was both meaj mid drink and clotneii tJ
"Wo have heard of nnother Irish someuiioi,3
which has ortcn ueen consmereu -oow ms.ji
and drink and clothes,' but here Is the real,.
ihlni? and 'i commend It to the attenlion-
of Mr. Hoover tho Shamrock.
... .. .... t... ,.., ...... i-a I1 trnA a'lSl
J.OI WIU UUUUMSia UI&UU. ? mi ' iTJM
shamrock when wo see one. It Is the s1"1''
ment, tho emblem of friendship, the trlnltyJ
in unltj-. That Is tho main thing. Just 12J
Burns 8 'Then here's a hand, my trusiji
frlen". and gie's a hand o thine' and bo.wi"'
nay, long may the bhamrocK flourlsn !
T.A.D.,
What Do You Know?
S HUM f
1, IIow reanr lets has a raferplllsr? Vfi
2. Who were Ileadle and .lilnum? i
S. What treaties has the United States sU?
at I'arls alter roreisn wori
4. Name the author of "Illfhnrd III."
5. Identlfr "the American1 I'ablas."
6. Who was Utile John?
7. Where Is CobleniT
s. When was l'hlladelphla founded; " "
0. Who la the ruler of Iaixembourt? ,'ifl
10. What Is the pronunciation of "1'arllatci i .j
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
1. A Manx eat I tailless.
" The Liberty Motors has twelre rjllnderf.
S. Tono-tluntar Is lh name nf niftMtal pal
medleiiio of which II. . Wells .wrote,
ynoifl of tlw same name, when h a"
on rf the modern business meina" '
j-isiana.r , . -
4. HeUohind. n smalt Islnnd In the Xfr'M
femes for their iniral bae at KIM,5
inot hearilr fortified bit of land I'
woriu, ."'
S, Hobert Browning raro th tMla "."V'ZSP
tnt t keep all Mt .wJJJ
oik bfMnwed on hrr. Biwn.if;w
.lis s-nriuauraB iu Jirai iiuniii'n - . . ri
PK OT nit WHO V.U.T i'nriu4.---'
0. IUWer W.b'im'4 left, hand bin bte '
iur- mi virtu. j -;
1. Jsallta Mat A lit 'a.
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