r-iw mtKy r w- vWf' --Sr-Tgp -SVf i , J 1 , fc.rfUAjJi,igjhfcB,l.i ,.fc,.-iH. ,1 ..! ,&. -WHY SHOULD A MANUFACTURER SUPPOSE IT HELPS SHOES TO ADVERTISE THEM ThiSw Here First-to -v Last-the-Truth Adver tising Is J) riving Women to Moving Pic tures," Zapp Adds, in Discussing the Public ity Question Then, After the Conversation Passes Through Various Devi ous and TortuoUs Channels Birsky Winds Up With This Bit of Wisdom : "There's Just Enough Bubo in Each and Every Feller So That Sooner or Later, Mit Kidney Pills or Oitcrmobiles, the T'ake Adver tiser Will Get Him if Ho Don't Look Out" There la nd more pleasure In reading !,' advertisements nowadays," Bald Barnett Zapp, tho waist manufacturer, to Louis Blr A sky", tho real estater. "Why not?" Birsky asked. "Well." Zapp said, "what for a simcha Is It to read In it-jlnper: ' - REMOVAL SALE 196 JFair to Middling Suits, Scason-bcforc-last's Make $18 to $25. Used to was $16 and $21, but on account of moving wc marked them up, because some people has got an ideo that when you move you reduce prices, and maybe they wouldn't see this advertisement B. SCHLEMIEL & CO. BROADWAY AT 277TH ST. "And who would bo to work and pay "money to put In n paper an advertisement like that?" Birsky Inquired. '"Everybody nowadays," Zapp said. ''"They dassen't do otherwlso, because what with 'tho Federal and State pure food laws and newspapers which Is paying fellers fifty thousand dollars a year to show up adver tisers, so that no advertiser would take a chance on advertising. Birsky, If you want to advertise, your merchandise, y'under stand, you've got to tell tho truth oiler tho least that happens you Is $10,000 ball on a certificate of reasonable doubts. So that's the way It goes, Birsky. Former times a lady reads In the paper Women's Tailored Suits THE LATEST FROM PARIS Was $120. Now $16.25 y'undorstand, nnd right away she forgets that sho Is going to tnko dinner Friday night with her husband's folks out In Borough Park: that tho doctor says that people -with her troublo could live for years already; that tho radiator leaked all over the Chinese rug In the library; that sho thinks the girl don't like it there on no count the kitchen is too dark; that nil her Remember Safety First ! ! N "WRITE ABOUT KITCHENER" Dearest Children Your Editor got scolded tho other day by a very beautiful and loving critic who accused him of writing too much about HIMSELF. Therefore he has CHANGED THE SUBJECTS somewhat lately. Today ho asked the very beautiful and loving critic WHAT to write about and she sug gested the talk for today. The lata Earl Kitchener, Great Britain's premier soldier, never married. He claimed that married life and army life did not go together. He was drowned. Have yfiiever rioticed how, far away from battle, great generals fall asleep? In runningvhastily over the great generals of history, how many do you find were killed in battle? Stonewall Jackson was shot by his own men. Lord Roberts, another flower of tho English army, died in service but not in action, if our memory is correct. Earl Kitchener paid the price of greatness, for he was accused of "never once being- right." Now that Mother Ocean has claimed him for her own, ho has been proved to have been always right. f To be great is to be misunderstood, even as Kitchener was misunderstood by those he tried to serve the most. Surely, greatness has its penalties. We cannot all be Kitcheners, but wo can stick to what we know (from ex perience) is RIGHT. FARMER SMITH, Children's Editor. JIMMY MONKEY'S DREAM - By Farmer Smith J!rmy Monkey was looking at himself In the looking glass when he happened to think j how hungry he was. Ha scooted downstairs to the pantry and - looked and looked, but ha could -not see even one piece of pie. "This Is serious," t he said to himself. Then bo had a happy thought i xGolnff out to the front porch, he waited , for the Baby Baboon to come along. t Sure enough, to a little while along came i. tiia Baby Baboon. Z JUnray closed his. eyes and the Baby fNpane and sat down beside him- Jimmy t opened his eyes quickly and then shut them, - POP! Hla companion hadn't seen him. - By &nd by Jimmy yawned and stretched . Wraaelf. "Asleep T' asked the. Baby Baboon "Having a day dream, that's all," an swered Jimmy. "And what's . day di earn I never heard et that kin of a dream," the little fellow looked up At Jimmy In an Inquiring nun. r. Tint's beoauao you aren't, a monkey. , Honor Roll Contest Th prli for the -week odln J air 1 vtm won by the telle wlaff ueioberM KHjibetb. Goileiz. tat ilojramcu- I ! Tau. St. V Jlocy LeUy GcrmantrUlf, ) SO f !. s CiM& lUtUu, "urlh Vraaklla' trt. iM . tttfHta. YsitHfr. rfeukiotuwo, -. Ujr 4a3 -. ' s 'BpHM' By MONTAGUE GLASS HbibB sssH iU " Sry L & (a ii'A "And right away she forgets that night with her husband's friends Is getting oltcrmobllei nnd couldn't nfford It no more than ho could. Birsky. Yes. Birsky, nil thorn troubles Is gono Just so soon as sho sees It $120 suits marked down to JIG 25, and sho goes down town to look 'cm over mit a now lenso of life. But what Is It nowa days for such n woman? Sho rends WOMEN'S SUITS Bankrupt Stock of Morris Schlccht Hamburg Avenue Brooklyn Schlocht's price $16.35 Our price $16.25 and not only docs nil her troubles como back on her, but sho thinks sho Is also de veloping n peculiar pain In her side." "Mnjbe the advertisement give It to her," Birsky suggosted. 'iSuro It did," Znpp -replied. "This here ftrst-to-last-the-truth advertising Is driving women to moving pictures, Ulrbky An other thing Is tho way drygood stores Is act ing nowadays. Former times a woman buys n dress at a drygoods store on April 2 nnd wears It uii to and including July IB, when she brings It back with symptoms of a beefsteak supper, two weddings nnd a chocolate nut sundao on the front panel, Birsky, and for the next six months she has the time of her life trying to get a credit check for It. It gives her a fresh Interest In things. Her eyiw get bright and her cheeks Is got fresh color In them the same like an advertisement for a com plexion cream before the enactment of Sec JVl ews an All monkeys have day dreams and they al ways come true, day dreams do," "BeaUyr "Yea; .for Instance, I was dreaming that I was e5 hungry my mouth was dry and my tongue was hanging out like this see?. Then, all of a sudden, you came along and felt ery, very borry for me and you "put your arms around ma and said: "'Come, Jimmy, I will see that you get something to eat,' and you did. Wasn't that a beautiful dream?" ''Indeed It waB," answered the Baby Baboon, "but It won't come tree just like that, because'! have nothing to eat see!" "Yes-s-e, but your mother has a cocoa put cake and . ' "But my mother wasn't In the dream," answered the Baby Baboon. "Excuse me," began Jimmy. "I wU go to sleep and have another day dream and perhaps your mother ' will te In that dream." "All right, snooze away," answered the Baby Baboon, and when Jimmy closed his eyes the little fellow ran off to get a piece of cocoanut cake and by and by he re turned with it. He placed It right In front of Jimmy. In a little while Jimmy began to stretch and yawn and then he opened hla eyes. Looking straight at the cake, he said to his companion: "I dreamed (bis time that J gave you a big hug," "Better wait until you get your cake eaten." replied the Baby Baboon.'' "Yqji mightn't feel strong enough to do it prop erly " A Picnic for Twins 3 K.ATH3RINE c &4 BLEANOR MILLER. Not so lane ago we went to our Sunday UWaBIUl ATtWIH sjUmmI vlcultf ssd bad lota of fun. We went 'ft4SBf5-t "M WM - ".., t hujJt aud had nil sorts of good EVENING LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, SATURDAY, JULY 8, 191C she is going to take dinner Friday husband's, folks." tion 31,416, Subsection A, of the Ponal Code In relations to False and Misleading Adver tising. ,,lber what Is It nowadays. Birsky? A crepo do Chine dress could hao enough hockshen soup spilled on It to mako It look llko molro velour, Birsky, nnd when n woman returns It with tho pleasant ex pectations of' never being so 'Insulted In her life, Birsky, before sho could even open her mouth to say Listen'' y'understnnd, tho floor walker pulls a credit check on her." "And I suppose," Birsky commented, "for tho next fow tlajs sho walks around looking so downhearted that whenever her lady friends see her they gohom6 and practically throw tho meals at their husbands nnd gives ns an explanation that they'd llko to see themselves worrying themselves to death oor any man." "Well, I'll tell i"ou,"vZnpp said, "iflaybe tho drygoods stores la getting dono on their money back guarantees, Birsky, but that's because they are suffering from tho fact that people ain't acquainted with up-to-date advertising Idecs. Their customers still thinks that when a drygoods store says; anything you buy here proves mi satisfactory, it will bo ejrcnmipcd or your money icl1 be refunded Birsky, It must be understood that such a guarantee means: anything you buy here provos un satisfactory by the evidence of six tin interesting witnesses which a cracker jack J-iiiiiiiber-ons trial lawyer couldn't rattle on cross-examination, it will bo exchanged or your money will .be re funded when so ordered by the Supreme Court of the United States or a Justice thereof after the last appeal gets taken and judgment is confirmed in an action brought for thht purpose, it being un derstood and agreed that nothing in of lews THE jjtjjf ! iiiiiP''liii1 41 .itji t-JijT f ifrh Reading from left to right; Top row Catherine Cohen and Celia Kaufman; Morrison and Edith Katz; bottom row, Ida Cohen, Es sie Wyman, Florence sky and Ethel Radeo. ... Things to Knqw and Do 1 What Is that question to which we must always answer yes? tsnt in by Charles WelsbcrsK I. who kvventea tne present sty of leeplog cart Fetashoisk). (Seat la by HiasC ,MS MIT A PICTURE OF A this guarantee shall apply to or bind the party making the same, his heirs, executors, administrators, MIshpocha and astlgns, "But them things Is allchanged now, liefore a newspaper accepts nn advertise ment nowadays. It la censured the same as nn Intenlew with General Joffer, and If an advertisement comes In from a shoo man ufacturer with his picture on it, they send a reporter up to Boston to make suro that the feller Is bald like his photograph claims ho Is, and If ho Isn't they wouldn't print the advertisement. Also, Birsky, If a patent medicine advertisement! says that It ain't renwlno without n fnc-smlla of tho manu facturer's signature on tho bottle, y'under stand, the proprietor of tho newspaper wouldn't ncccpf the advertisement till the manufacturer comes down nnd signs his name In tho presence of tho managing editor, tho art editor, two prominent clergy men nnd a handwriting expert, nnd If the slgnnturo don't look enough like the fnc smile, It's all off." "If a feller Is so stuck on his hand writing that ho wants to advcrtlso his goods wit fnc-smllo of his signature, Zapp," Bir sky said, "ho don't deserve no hotter than that they should lake him nt his word and print the advertisement on him, and then If the bank paid the forged checks, It should ought to bo held that the feller Is guilty of contributing a negligence nnd hns got to stand the loss himself." "Abcr what I couldn't understand, Is: Why should a manufacturer supposo It helps the sale of his shoes to advertise '6m mlJ a plcturo of a bald-headed man, oven supposing he does chots va' sholom look that way?" Zapp said, "For that tnattcr, Zapp, my wife's brother Slg ns a young feller used to rub talcum powder on his upper lip, because ho thought It would mttko grow for him a mtistncho like the feller on the box," Birsky said ,. "Was there nny such claim on tho bpx outside of the picture?" Zapp asked. "No," Birsky Bald, Vbut Slg had Just como over from tho old country nnd couldn't rend English." " , "Well, nil I could say ho la lucky he didn't want to ralso a bald head Instead of a mustache," Zapp replied, "because ho would of been set back at least $3. DO for shoes Instead of twenty cents for talcum powder." "A feller who thinks ho could got bald headed by wearing nny particular brand of shoes should ought to get stuck for J3.B0," Birsky said, "never mind ho couldn't rend English." "Well, that only goes to show how care ful a newspaper should bo If It doesn't want Its readers to bo swindled," Znpp said. "Somo peoplo which Is too foxy to bcllovo nothing they rend In tho news section of a newspaper gets fooled very easy by advertisements.' They could rend It In tho paper how seals hns become so scarco that If nil the seals In cxistenco was divided up nmong tho Inhabitants of the State of Kan sas there would bo only .000G2 scnls to an Inhabitant. Also they could seo In a. Sun day paper how tho Sccrctnry of Commorco and Labor gives out nn Interview that the United Stntcs Is keeping a lino of battle ships In Alaska to prevent poachers from killing seals, Birsky, but that owing to the high price of sealskins In New York, tho ponchers takes a chance on getting shot, stnrvod, frozen nnd drowned nnd some times catches as many as twenty-eight and a hnlf seals In a season, y'understnnd, and yet, Birsky, when a concern by tho namo of tho I'orls and San Francisco Fur Importing Company advertises fur overcoats with Baffin Bay Seal lining nnd genw'lno Prus sian Lamb collars at from $19.09 to $21. E0 apiece, them newspaper readers flguro what does a Secretary of Commerce arid Labor know about seals anyvvny." "Mnbo they llgure that way, nnd maybe they flguro that the feller which Is running tho Paris and San Franclico Fur Importing Compnny Is Just somo poor Xebich that hjis got ahold of a lino of seal overcoats and don't know their renl alue, Znpp, nnd never mind if the Schlemiel WOULD hao a wife and family depending on him, Zapp, that's HIS lookout. If ho Is fool enough to let them seal-lined overcoats go at from $19.99 to $21.50, he shouldn't be In tho fur busl- F armer RAINBOW VIOLET HEARTS The 1'blUdelphl Uapld TrDilt SAFE TY FIRST CONTEST opens July lit 100 la VltlZKS ta the Bslobows. for ffitf, t Club Kw Wduelr,, July it. - ' "Signs his name in the presence of ncss If he don't know no more about furs than that; so they buy nn overcoat oft of him, Zapp, Just to teach him n lesson as It wore." "Sometimes they also flguro that the reason why tho Paris nnd San Francisco Fur Importing Company could soil gcnwlno sealskins at $10.99 Is that tho overcoats was stolen, Birsky," Zapp 'said, "so they go to work and buy 'cm on tho principle of what tho eye don't seo It, what Is It the heart's buslnoss?" "Then whnt Is the use of newspapers pro tecting them crooks by not printing fake ad vertisements?" "I don't know, Birsky," Zapp said. "In "Gets so red in the face that you'd think they was discussing labor unions." Ujffi'?'W?3' aaV Smith s Ramb middle row, Pauline Parker, Rose Loundy, Anna Levin, Anna Koval- Baseball Scores ' A. M. B. t Quakers ,,. 21 Batteries Cross and Pollster; Goldmal and Dagc-beit s THE SALE BALD-HEADED MAN?" : : : : : : Illustrations by BRIGGS the managing editor, the art editor, two writing expert." fnct, Birsky, I ain't got no 'sympathy for a bargain hunter anyway, nnd If ho gets stuck by a Schlag store which advertises In a newspaper, y'undcrstand, It's my Ideo that when tho Recording Angel enters up tho score In the Bcphcr Chaytm, Birsky, ho credits the Schlag storo and tho newspaper with a. double play, whllo all that tho bar gain hunter gets Is a error." "And quite- right, too," Blraky said. "It's always a Mitevah to stick a bargain hunter, Znpp, because If ho Wasn't out to stick somebody himself a bargain hunter wouldn't be a bargain hunter. There Is fel lers In this town, Zapp, millionaires and collcgo gradgowatcs which when they tnlk about Schlag stores gets so red In tho face that you'd think they was discussing labor unions, Zapp, and In the very next breath, y'understnnd, they'll tell how they was mo toring In tho mountains of West Virginia nnd how they como across a log cabin where an old feller nnd his wife was rnlstng a little, corn for a living nnd eating It off a broken-down mahogany table mlt bandy legs, club feet and all tho other deformities which turns a human being into a helpless cripple and a table Into a $1000 antique, Znpp. Then they'll tell you how they bought tho table from tho poor mountaineer for $2,35 and brought It back to New York and had It polished for $1.03 and sold it to an nntlquo dealer for $.276.G0; and they never stop to consider that while a Schlag storo proprietor may sell a fur overcoat for $21. E0 by representing that tho lining Is genvvlno seal, tho garment probably stands him In as much as $10.60, reckoning what ho paid the tailor for manufacturing and the S. P. C. A. for tho skins." "At tho samo time, Birsky," Zapp said, "If I would be a reputablo .merchant, nnd zoltenly I TRY to be, Birsky, I wouldn't ndvcrtlso my goods In a pnper which also accepts advertisements from Schlag stores, because I figure that If a bargain hunter wouldn't know of nn advertised storo where he THINKS he could get a $100 overcoat for $21, he would go to ifn advertised store where he really and truly could buy a $100 overcoat for $100, and anyhow $110.50. So you see, Birsky, censuring advertisements is really for tho benefit of tho advertiser and not for tho feller who rends 'cm.'" "Maybe you'ro right, Zapp," Birsky agreed, "abcr It don't make no difference how small nnd grossartig its circulation amDow MERCY ANNE PERKINS THE terrace lawn of MIbs Stone's School for Girls resounded with the usual four o'clock noise. The green grass and trees formed n happy background to tho flock of bright colored dresses and still brighter col ored silk sweaters. Fifteen more precious moments out in tho benutlful open! Who woul'dn't laugh and Bhout and make tho most of them? In truth, though, every one did not laugh and shout. At 3:15 the mall had been dis tributed, and as a result three various-sized figures had separated themselves from the gay crowd and were now seated at points In the lawn far apart, eye-deep In freshly opened letters. May Belle Idelle Smith sat sullenly on the summer house steps and read again what she had understood all too well tho first time. "Dear Mabel: Your letter was received and I am sorry to say I cannot let you do ns you have aBked. The 1500,000 that your uncle left you Is not yours yet, and maybo It will never be. The son that he cut off without a dollar and his wife, whom, as you know, he did the same to, have put the case In a lawyer's hands. So you Bee spending money on an elaborate vacation trip Is out of the question. Your mother will need you this summer to help her with the children's clothes. So make up your mind to come home rind be a, sensible glrL LoMngly, YOUR PAPA." ' May Belle bit her lips and thought hard. Mercy Anne Perkins, stretched out on the green grass, read bewllderedly a second time what did not sink into her bewildered mind the first time; "Little Girl dear: Daddy has bad news for hla big. brave daughter. He won't be able to get home from San Francisco this, whole coming summer and, what Is worse, ho won't be able to have his own daughter with him. Do you think, dear, that you Vacation Nptes Mary Wright, of Spring City, Pa., ex pects to spend some time In Atlantic City this summer. Unfortunately, last summer her trip to the shore was marred by an automobile accident. This makes Mary a bit timid about motor traveling. Little Spring City Rainbows are perfectly willing to spend vacation days at home i they have such very good times. Mary, Catherine Itoaenberger and Minnie Goldstein play tennis, "I Spy." "Tag." sew doll clothes and do every sort of a happy thing Imagin able. A Telltale Party By ALICE WILLIAMS. Once upon a time there was a little boy whose mother told him nevjr tp take any of her blackberries without asking. One day she went out and left him alone. He met another boy and they took some berries and used a pound of sugar on them. When the mother came home she took him to a mirror and showed him himself with sugar on his mouth and she told him to stick out his tongue. He said. "Mother, don't ask me; I went intq the berries, hut will never do It again. I we sov that whatever you do will be found put come time,' OF HIS prominent clergymen and a hand- " would be, a newspaper couldn't overerrtJ mate tho foolishness of people that read ad vertisements." "I believe you," Zapp said- "Now yon take mo for Instance, and I am a prettr hard proposition. If I see In n nowspaper that I am recommended to drink sparkling Groperlnn made from tho Juice of the ripest Illinois grapes, I take It for granted that on tho bottle It says: The contents of this package, is composed from grape skins, grape stalks, grapo boxes and grape bar rels, sweetened with sakkareeno and artifi cially colored nnd carbonated, contains 8-10 of 30 per cent. Benxo-borncld acid and 6-11 of 70 per cont. somelhlngnte of soda and 4 per cent, nlcohol by weight and 38 per cent by volume' Also I never fallfor adver tisements of cheap clothing, cheap straw hats, cut price furniture or specials In watches and Jowelry, after1 when I see In a newspaper ' CHAROSES SIX ROADSTER, made by the Charoses Motorl Car Corporation. i This car has the elegant, refined, lines of the most expensive- cars. Distinctive Charoses stream line. Seats eight and a half passengers and is finished in genwine walrus, leather with four knife blade pleats and a belt of silk braid to the hip ! ItnM tnmm.il wih narrow hands of ' fur 'and otherwise is equal in every J resnect to any car selling for over I $4,250. $610 p. o. n. Ilyan, Jeff Davis Co. Tex. ! y'understnnd, it's all I can do to hold my self back from ringing up the New York ngent and nsklng him would ho prefer cash odor a certified check." "Yes, Zapp, Birsky commented, "there's Just enough of tho rube In each and every feller so that sooner or later, mit kidney pills or oltermoblles, tho fake advertiser will got him If he don't look out." "Or If tho newspaper proprietor dont look out for him," Zapp concluded. AT BOARDING SCHOOL would like to stay at school this Bummer? Or maybe you could board with a cousin of your own dear mother, who lives in the Stato or New Jersey, "Bo brave, little Mercy Anne, Just bb you have always been since the first day you fell down the cellar steps and didn't cry. Never mind, daughter mine, some day we'll have marble steps with gold pillows on them, for here's a secret Daddy thinks he Is going to mako some money! Good-by and God bless my little girl. DADDY." A tear slid down tho cheek of Mercy Anne! Jerry Patton swung her feet hard against the old Btono wall, cupped her chin In a pink little palm and didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Again her eyes traveled over the last paragraph In her mother's letter: "And now, Jerry dear, about vacation plans there's a little disappointment for you, I'm afraid. Father won't be with us this summer. He has tp spend most of his time In the West on business. Please don't fret, Jerry, becauso he has thought of something nice to make up for It. Ha says he Just won't let you and Jack and me get lonesome, so- guess what! We're going on a combination motor and camp trip, and Dad wants you to bring ona of the girls from school with you and Jack to bring one of the boya. Isn't that fine 7" Jerry looked up from the paper. Sud denly the fun of It all dawned on her And Just then the bell that announced. the hour of study rang clear and coror mandlngly. In trooped the varicolored sweaters' From their respective places rose the thre, figures and their letters. The little gtrll looked at each other, wondered at thfl general silence and passed on Into ttul house. (To Ba Continued.) The Outdoor World By DOROTHY BOTTH. LambertvUla. N. J. The whole world Is a picture to mo, painted by the hand of Our Father, From the verdure of the trees and the grass to the beautiful blanket of sparkling snow, al) things were painted by the Great Artist. Then, too, are the little wood creatures and the large wood creatures and the birds, f(Pm the tiny humming bird to the largest eagle) all these are part of the wondeiful picture the world. Truly, sometimes earth seems as though it must be a real piece of Heaven. ' FARMER SMITH, Kvinino LJtDarnt I wish to become a member of your Rainbow Club. Please send me a beau tiful Rainbow Button free. I agree to' DO A .LITTLE KINDNESS EACH AND EVERY DAY SPREAD A UTTLB SUNSHINE ALL ALONG THE WAY. Name , . Address Age iniiMi j 8chooI attejl tji. itaf IB W bad tc cream, aisd eojoytd U. H$"WWw