EVENING MDr)GJaR-IHlLABBLl?HIA (SATURDAY, HAY 20, W&
f
l-i
f ;
"THESE HERE IRISH INCORPORATES UNDER THE STYLE SINN, FEIN & CO.;
MAX J. SINN, PRESIDENT; LOUIS FEIN, VICE PRESIDENT AND TREASURER
:: :: :: . :: :: :: :: :: :: Illustrations by BRIGGS
iThtis Avers Zapp in Dis
I niiasinpf Irish Revolu-
h tions and Russian
Revolutions With His
I Old Friend Birsky
I Over "Paprika Chick
en Mit Knockerl" at
Wasserbauer's Res
taurant and Cafe
German Efficiency," He Adds,
"Reminds You of One of Them
Surgical Operations by a $2000
Professor, Where He Diag
noses the Case Successfully,
Opens' the Patient Success
fully, Removes Most Every
thing He Sees Successfully,
Closes the .Patient Success
fully, and Brings Him Out of
the Ether Successfully, and
the Patient Gets Along Suc-
' ccssfully Up to Two or Three
Days Before His Funeral"
T THINK," said Louis Birsky, the
, x real estater, na ho looked over tho
a bill of faro In Wasserbatior'a Restaurant
h rid Cafe, "I think I would have soma
pftpriKa CJUCKCU 77111 Jl.1lVUh.VTk IM1U 11 CUI
toffee."
"Well, why not?" Barnett Zapp, tho
waist manufacturer, replied. "Negro, tho
Komart "Emperor, played tho fiddle whllo
Unmn was burninir."
r :: . .. ,.-.
"1 Don i Know iviiui you tiro miKing
about at all," Blrslty said.
"That's all riGht," Znpp said; "I don't
Wamayou, Birsky. "I Just finished a big
plateful of oedampftc Kalbflclsch my-
lelf, and If tho waiter would of had any
' manliness about htm ho would of said:
'''Listen, how can you sit there and cat
tht stuff when right today things Is
joins on in Europe that in hundreds of
v jears from now children wouldn't bo
promoted in school It thoy wouldn't
know the dato they happened.' Yes,
Birsky, In two hundred years from now
p;s will bo getting a big reputation
from writing poems about them things;
Utlsts will bo nnlntlnrr nlrtnrpq nf Vm
rand people will cry when they seo them
pictures, and If some ono looks up what
( you and me was dolntf at tho tlmo tho
P erlglnals of them pictures was actually
, iuiug jiiuce, uirsKy, tney woum una that
V5a ,was eating paprika chicken mlt
Kwkerl and I just got through with
o ocdampftc Kalbflclsch and was
jtMnklng seriously of ordering a cun
? coffee and a slice of German cheese
cake."
By MONTAGUE GLASS
7) mL.-jT-?,S? V7 -1
wgfTr jjr sl, Mf -r'
W'f
"A feller must, always pay for showing his foelings."
"Well, what do you want mo to do?"
Birsky said. "Go on a diet becauso they
aro fighting In Europe? When wo was
running off the Spanish war, Zapp, tho
Leutc In Europe oscr felt bad enough
over It to go without so much os one
caraway seed In their ryo bread."
"AVer what was tho Spanish war,
Birsky?" Zapp protested. "A skirmish,
that's nil."
"Never mind," Birsky said. "The
Spanish war was pretty good for Its
day."
"Sure, I know," Zapp said, "for Its
day, Birsky, but you tako the Spanish
war today, Birsky, and they would print
It In tho newspapers under tho head of
Amusement Notes.' "
"That's what I am driving at," Bir
sky said. "Things like tho Irish revo
lution and the Spanish war has got too
much competition nowadays. Tako all
them poor people, ncblch, which lost
their lives In tho Iroquois fire, the Ti
tanic, tho Grand Republic and tho East
land, Zapp, and if the same number pf
French and Germans is wiped out in
front of Verdun between 9 and 12 In
tho ovenlng, 'understand, tho next
morning tho German War Office sends
out a statement that to tho east of tho
Mouse and In the Woevre things havo
been comparatively quiet. That's tho
reason why tho Irish revolution was
taken off so quick. It was like a fairly
good Bhow which Is put on whllo there
aro too many attractions in town, Zapp.
Nobody rends tho notices, and tho conse
quences Is It closes" Saturday night."
"Well, of course, if you can talk like
that about tho Irish revolution, Birsky,"
Zapp commented, "you wouldn't of con
sidered It out of $10 way If, instead of
fiddling when Rome was burning, tho
Emperor Negro would of conducted ono
of them Europe's orchestras with a
drummer ringing cow bolls and blowing
a steamboat whistle. To my mind, Bir
sky, of all the tzurts that happened In
this war, the Irish revolution is the
worst."
"Listen, Zapp," Birsky said, "I am go
ing now on every kind of theaytcr for
years already English, Yiddish and
vaudeville and one thing I learned it,
Zapp, that if there is anything more
tragical than a comedy which ain't
funny, y'understand, it'B a tragedy that
tho audience couldn't help laughing nt.
And you couldn't blamo them people for
laughing at It, Zapp, any more than you
could blamo mo Jtor eating paprika
chicken tnU Knockerl whllo them poor
Irish is getting killed by tho thousands,
because what would happen ma If I did
otherwise, Zapp? Let us say, for exam
ple, that I would go out now Into tho
streets and alt n tho gutter and beat
my chest, and a policeman an Irish
policeman at that comes along and
asks what Is tho matter with mo, Zapp,
and I toll him I am carrying on that way
becauso tho revolution gets put down
in Ireland. Tho chances is ho would
tako me before a magistrate and an
Irish magistrate at that and the first
thing you know my relations Is paying
hundreds of dollars to a lawyer ho should
got mo out of tho asylum with a man
damus or an aveous corpus, whlchevor
tho lawyer thinks ho could charge tho
most for. Am t right or wrong?"
"You aro right about the policeman
and tho magistrate, Birsky," Zapp said,
"but you're wrong about your relations.
As a general thing, Birsky, It don't make
no difference to a feller's relations
whether a magistrate sends you to Jail
or an asylum, y'understand, It only con
firms what they've been thinking about
you for years already."
"Might your relations would act that
way, Zapp," Birsky said, severely, "but
my relations would figure that blood Is
redder than water and from a feller In
Jail or an asylum thoy couldn't get no
accommodation notes or stick him with
a post-dated check. And, anyhow, Zapp,
so far as my relations is concerned, I
glvo thorn suckers leavo to lot mo alt
In an asylum' tho rest of my days if I
would mako such an exhibition of my
self In the public streets."
"Well, you couldn't expect no better,
Birsky," Zapp said, "and them poor
Irishmen, ncblch, couldn't expect no
better, neither, because you could bo so
sorry for Ireland that you could cry
tears In tho streets for her, y'under
stand, and you could bo so anxious to
seo Ireland Independent of England that
you could shoot off guns in the streets
for her, understand me, and Just so long
as you only TALK about doing It and
WRITE about doing It, you would be
O. K. For Instance, you tako these hore
Irishmen and they says months ago al
ready; 'England's tzurts is Ireland's
slmcha,' and when Mr. Asqulth reports
It tho English Government only smiles
and say's they should tell their troubles
to Blrrcll and that Asqulth should plcaso
ask Kitchener has tho expressman de
livered them 1,681,352 khaki uniforms
yet. A Uttlo later these hero Irishmen
,goes to work and Incorporates under
tho style of Sinn, Fein & Co , Max J.
Sinn, prcsldont; Louis Fein, vice presi
dent and treasurer, and oven with them
German names for officers tho English
Government savs what Is the difference:
if thoy want to, let 'em organize under
the name of the Dubllner Aufruhrerlscher
Oesellschaftsvereln and by printing only
one proclamation In a union shop they
would exhaust their funds for composi
tion alone. Then they turned around
nnd got up ON 1'APEU tho Irish Repub
lic, and the English Government figures
that the Henry Gcorgo Junior Republic
was ALSO a republic, nnd lot It go at
that, and so you see, Birsky, as long as
them poor fellers' revolution was on pa
pen Birsky, or Just a matter of talk, y'un
dorstand, the worst that could of hap
pened to 'cm was writer's cramp otfer
laryngitis, which Is two diseases you
couldn't die of, no matter If you hired
a specialist to treat you at a hundred
dollars a visit. But thorn poor revolu
tionists felt so strong about Ireland, Bir
sky, that thcyhad to glvo vent to It."
"Well, their feelings done 'cm credit,"
Birsky said.
"Suro, I know," Zapp agreed, "but
feelings which are a credit to a man,
Birsky, remains a credit to him only so
long as ho keeps 'cm to hlmsolf, and after
that thoy become a debit, Birsky. A feller
must always pay for showing his feelings,
Birsky. If he shows 'cm by making for
somebody a bluo oyc, he's got to pay a
flno to a magistrate, and If ho shows 'em
by Joining a revolution, no's got to pay
with his life to tho Government ho is re
belling against, and you could no mora
blamo the maglstrata for collecting tho
fino as you could blamo tho (English Gov
ernment for collecting tho feller's life,
which If you claim otherwise, Birsky, you
aro noting llko a poor sport."
"I don't claim nothing about tho Irish
revolution becauso I don't know nothing
about It," Birsky said, "but I was born
and raised In Russland, Zapp, and If n
feller is a revolutionist, ncblch, he has
got my best wishes up to and Including
the funeral."
"Well, I'll tell you," Zapp explained,
"a Russian revolutionist la ono thing,
and nn Irish revolutionist is somothlng
elso ngqln. What a Russian revolutionist
wants is that ho Bhould be able to ltvo in
Russia under government conditions a
quarter as good as they aro In Ireland, but
as ho couldn't expect miracles exactly, he
would bo satisfied if ho could get one-tenth
tho liberty tho Irishman has got."
"Then what Is the Irishman a revolu
tionist for?" Birsky asked.
"Ho is a revolutionist for old times'
sako," Zapp continued. "A hundred and
twenty years ago, English soldiers killed
and worse than killed his relations by the
thousands; seventy years ago tho Eng
lish Government allowed his poor Gross
mutter olav hasholom to starve,and down
to twenty years ago English landlords
gavo him a dispossess for not paying rent
on property which wasn't worth no rent
at all till ho grow potatoes and raised
pigs and cows on It; which whijo It is
true, Birsky, that them things Is now
vorbel for years already, hard feelings
ain't llko promissory notes. You couldn't
bar them by, a statue of limitations, and
If you murder a man's great-grandfather,
starvo his grandmother nnd tako away
his ropf from over tho man's own head,
"Let bygones bo bygones."
you nln't going to make him lovo you ex
actly If you say to him: 'A'u, let bygones
bo bygones.' And so for LahocMos only,
Birsky, tho Irishman Is making a revolu
tion "
"I think you aro fooling yourself, Zapp,"
Birsky said. "I think you would find that
England has got things fixed that nn
Irishman must got to live n a pate of
Irish settlement nnd couldn't own no
real estate, tho samo like our people In
Russland, nnd also nn Irishman couldn't
uso the Irish language the snmc like tho
Poles couldn't use no Polish In their busi
ness with Russians."
"Oscr a Btuckl" Zapp declared. "An
Irishman could llvo whero ho wants to,
ote, own real estate and act in Ireland
tho samo llko he nets In the United
States, and as for tho Irish language,
Birsky, tho averago Irishman knows just
ns much about it as you do about Loschen
llakodcshf, Birsky."
"To my sorrow, Zapp, I never had the
time to learn It," Birsky said.
"Well If ever you do havo tho time,"
Zapp retorted, "learn Instead to play as
good as Paderowskl on tho piano, Bir
sky. It's a whole lot easier, Birsky, and
you'll get moro enjoyment out of It,
which you could take It from mo, Birsky,
if the English Government insisted that
overy Irishman must go to learn Irish,
y'understand, then with reason there
would be an Irish revolution, and tho
Kalsor wouldn't got to finance It neither."
"Did tho Knlsor finance tho Irish rev
olution?" Birsky asked. I
"A question!" Zapp exclaimed. "Didn't
tho revolution fall? Honestly, Birsky 1
could find It In my heart to pity wiat
feller the way ho keeps throwing good
money after bad. Millions of dollars that
poor ncblch has advanced people for pull
ing off explosions of canals nnd brlatoe,
y'understand, and overy tlmo the oJjr
thing'' which haa blown up was ttm
plans,"
"Seemingly his money Is tainted," &Ir
sky said.
"Tainted ain't no word for it," Zap
declared. "The best a feller cotlld ex?
pect that finances n scheme through thai
Kaiser Is an undetermlnate sentence, Bir
sky, Ho is particularly schlcmaxcldlch
In the revolutions he's been backing.
With tho accommodation paper he jnad
and Indorsed for tho South African revolu
tion he could of floated a chain of depart
ment stores, any ono of which would make
Marshall Field nnd B. Altman look llko
new beginners already, and for ail thi
good It dono down In South Africa, Birsky,
ho might Just bo well of Invested tho
money In Anglo-French Gs. Egypt nrtd
India was tho samo way, Birsky, and
now that the Irish revolution went
mechultah on him for several million dol
lars money loaned, Birsky, if ho figures
on financing any more revolutions against
England, y'understand, ho would do n
whole lot better by advising the revolu
tionist president to tako out llto insur
ance and put up tho policies with th
llclchsbnnk as security for n loan. Th
way revolutions fins been going recently,
Birsky, tho RelchBbank would realize en
tho policies within five days aftor tho
revolution starts nnd It would keep the
Kaiser's name out of tho affair."
"Abcr how do you know tho Germans
was behind the Irish revolution!" Birsky
Insisted.
"In tho first place bvorybody says eo,"
Zapp explained, "and In tho second place
It sounds nwful German to tno. Every
thing was figured out In advance, Birsky,
In tho regular German way. They had
coins coined, postage stamps printed, a
President, a Vice President, n Cabinet;
and, In fact. It was tho last word In what
a republic should ought to be, according
to tho opinion of Professor von Splnnge
webc, of tho Dopartmont of History of
tho University of Berlin. No pains was
spared in working out tho dotails, Birsky,
and nothing was overlooked absolutely
nothing, except a couple million English
troops about six hours away In England
and several warships of the English navy.
Yes, Birsky, the wholo thing seems llko
tho gen-wlne brand of German efficiency
the samo as Verdun and tho Battlo of
tho Marne. It reminds you of ono of
them surgical operations by a $2000 pro
fessor, where ho diagnoses the case suc
cessfully, opens tho patient successfully,
removes most everything ho sees success
fully, closes the patient successfully and
brings him out of the ether successfully,
nnd tho patient gets along splendidly up
Jo two or three days before his funeral."
"But by your own showing, tho Ger
mans did succeed In bringing about the
Irish revolution, Zapp," Birsky said,
"Yes." Zapp commented. "The opera
tion was successful," Birsky, but tho pa
tient died."
Spite, hatred. v f
tHqly lansuaee I. e. Hebrew. '
ADMINISTRATION PLANS REPEAL
OF SPECIAL WAR TAX LAW
$25,000,000 Revenue Loss to Be Com-
w pensated by Tax. on Big Incomes
WASHINGTON, May 20. Repeal of the
tiro sections, of the extended war law
A and 13 which provldo for special taxa
tion on many articles of 'eieryday use, has
been , decided on by the Administration
Bills providing for this will be Introduced
In the Senate and House Immediately, It
was stated today In Administration circles
Although the repeal of these schedules will
reduce current revenues for the six months
Between July l and December 31, when
the war tax law expires by limitation,
some $25,000,000, Treasury officials have
reported that the present state of tho na
tions finances will wrirrant this. This Is
specially so in lew of the planned In
crease nf t.irnllnn nn 1, 1nvAM ln
m $" coun,ry which already has been de-
v ., Hlm ,viui;ii win, uemocrnua lead
ers say, amply take caro of all increased
expenditures duo to the military and naval
Program.
THE WEATHER
Official Forecast
WASHINGTON'. May 20,
For eastern Pennsylvania: Fair tonight;
Bunday partly cloudy and slightly warmer;
entle shifting winds.
Showers covered most of the Lake region,
tJf Yorh, Maine and New Brunswick yes
terday under the Influence of a disturbance
that Is moving out of the field of observa
tlon this morning. Fair weather Is reported
Mnerally from the eastern half of the, coun
try Unsettled conditions prevail In the
Plains States, with light and widely scat
tered showers. The temperatures are rls-
ing elowly from the Rocky Mountains east
ward, bUt there In ntlll n Ntlrrht ,lafl,.lan,.v a.
BS, "t places.
If, S. Weather Bureau Bulletin
Otnervatlon taken at 8 a. m., eastern time.
liAW
8 last Rain- Veloc-
rull.winil. Uy, Weather
M
KW
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.01 BVV
riaap
Clear
Clear
8!eaUrd)r
p.cidy
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cffif -.:-:-: 6? b :: s a Ra
?.land',0TV. 35 U b'. 5 " S"""
W fliJUu 'T" Jr. Vi . JO. Clear
I K'&l 52 .61 SB SB!?'
BUFFALO BILL WITH HIS "INJUNS""
AND COWBOYS COMES TOMORROW
,ii
Old Scout, Accompanied by United States Cavalry, In
fantry and Artillery, and Even Girls That Can Rope a
Steer, Will Open Show With Parade Monday
Here's a tip to every boy that reads it.
JIaybo he has heard something of tho sort
or has seen the fact advertised, but here
is genuine, authentic and reliable news
that every younit Phlladelphlan will wel
come. Buffalo Bill, whose feats as cow
boy, army scout and hero of the plains and
Indian campaigns havo been your favorite
reading since your primary days, will ar
rle In Philadelphia tomorrow. And not
only Buffalo BUI. but a whole tribe of In
dians and cowbos from the far West, with
their tents and bronchos, sombreros, lariats
and all the regalia of the plains, are com
ing with him. And as If that were not
enough, he Is also bringing a troop of real
soldiers. United States army cavalrymen,
Infantry and artillery, with the Red Cross
and all the other branches that go to make
up the "boys In blue." Only they don't
wear blue, but the khaki that means busi
ness, as you remember It did in Cuba and
the Philippines, so that it was adopted for
your Boy Scout uniforms. Then there are
cowgirls, dandy riders who can break a
mustang or throw a steer as well as some
of the smartest of the men.
Where Is all this? you ask. Why, out on
the circus grounds at 19th street and Hunt
ing Park aenue. It will arrhe tomorrow
morning, and It you get out there early
enough you may see the members of the
Buffalo Blll-101 Ranch shows pitch their
tents just as they do when they are at
home out on the Western plains. They do
It all themsehes and In their own way; the
soldiers, Indians, cowboyB and oven the
cowgirls tako a hand In the Job. It'B as
Interesting nnd Instructive as the show
Itself, which opens on Monday for a week,
with a performance every afternoon and
evening,
Of course, your nre all going out to see
Buffalo BUI and the rest when tho show
opens. If your father hesitates about it,
remind him of the days he used to go out
to the Gentlemen's Driving Park, over
where Woodslde now Is, when he was your
age, and he'll not only let you go, but go
along with you.
Anyhow, he'll, let you see the big parade
noxt Monday morning that starts from the
show grounds at 9 o'clock and goes over
Hunting Park aenue to Broad street and
all the way down to Washington avenue
before It turns back on Broad street and
out Germantpwn aenu and to the grounds.
Buffalo BUI will be In line and so will all
the Rough Riders and redskins that take
part in the big Buffalo Blll-101 Ranch
show.
It arrives here tomorrow morning, and
the management Is always glad to welcome
Sunday visitors to the grounds. So, boys,
there's the tip. Is It a good one?
LILLIAN STRADLING AT 'TOP"
MEinyJ ,: V " V5 S .04 HB
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near
LKMiTII OK 1IAY.
"ft MU TlJpjii Moon aowba J.40a.m
tiELAWAUK ItlVEIt TI11E CU.VNOES.
u CHESTNUT 6THEET.
water tl5 a m liw water M 1 p.m.
.tKitEeilATUBE AT isacu ww
3rv5tiyllii-i2i. II J I 31 41 S,
JltlfeTefr&ai fin 6SIH8I 68 i
Mnquarre Will Conduct at Tonight's
Orchestra Concert
Lillian Stradllng, a soprano, will be so
loist at the "Pop" concert In the Academy
of Muslo tonight. Maquarre wll conduct.
The program follows;
I. Overture. "Ruy III
! Melpctlnn from "I.J
.1 Arlu. (,r.l,l Rlvnnr.
not ' ' .' , Meye rbeer
i.iiuan mraaiinx. , . ..
4. Ballet Bulla from lha opera "Le Cl'.l,"
v Maaaenet
I, Caatlllane.
II, Andalouae.
111. AraKonitae., ..
B, Overture, "Mlrellle" , ,..., ...Gounod
lNTKUMlsSIO.V.
8. Selection from "Orpneo aux Enfera '
Offenbach
T, Songs with piano accompaniment;
Rosrera
is NkeA.'
Clougb-Lelshter
" ,,MendeIaaohn
Iloheme' ' , I'ucclnl
'," from "The lluirue-
la) 'The Queat" ,.... i ...,.. .
(b) "Une lias winsa" ....",..
(c) "M Lover, lie Cornea on tho
Lillian Stradlln.
8. Two Norwegian Dances ,,,,,,,.,., ..ureff
0, Tone Poem, "Flalandla" ,,,..,,... ..Sibelius
npYS VILLANOVA TRACT
Loui3 Rodman Page Will Build Resi
dence fpr His Son
Edwin 8 Dixon has sold, through Hirst
& McMullln, to Louis Rodman Page a tract
of 44 acres at Spring Mill and State roads,
north of Vlllanova, on which the purchaser
will build a residence for his son, Edward
C. Page. The property sold Is known as
"Waverley," and is adjacent to the Red
Rose estate, purchased a few years ago by
V. T Stotesbury and now occupied by bis
daughter, Mra J. Kearsley'MltchelL,
Clergyman Killed by Train
WBLL8BOIIO. Pa.. May ?0 The Rev
II. V. Allen, a Methodist pastor of Bloss
burg, wa killed and Willis M. Calkins, an
undertaker of the same place, la dying In
the Blossburg Hasplul from Injuries re
ceived In an automobile accident. They
were returning trW making funeral ar
rangements and drove on the t:ri9 Rail
road la front of a train, '
Baseball Victim to Be Buried Monday
The funeral of Frank Hoen. a member of
the graduating class of Central High
School, who died Thursday after being
struck on the -head by a pitched baseball,
will be held on Monday from his late home,
713? Creshelm street, Mount Airy. Services
will ba held in Holy Cross Church, Mount
Airy, where a Solemn Mass of Requiem will
be celebrated by the Rev, James never.
Interment will be private. The pallbearers
will be members of the Mount Airy Foot
ball team, of which young Hoen was a
member. The senior class of Central High
School will be excused from school to at
tend the funeral.
SCOTT LEFT $17,300 TO KIN
Will of Lato County Commissioner Do
vises All to Widow nnd Legal Heirs
An estate lalued at el?,300 Is disposed
of by tho will of former County Commis
sioner David S. Scott, 1442 North Law-
renco street, ndmttted to probate today by
Register Shechan. The estate Is devised
to the widow of the testator, two daugh
ters, throo sons nnd grandchildren
Other' wills probated were those of Wil
liam Klelnfelder, 2518 North 22d street,
which In prhato bequests disposes of prop
erty alued at $25,000; James Hutchinson,
231 West nittenhouso street, $18,000; Jes
sie M. Grange, 403 North 22d street,.
JIG, 000; AUce D. Anderson, 4900 Pcnn
street, $8350, and Sarah A. Wallazz, 2311
Kensington avenue, $7500.
The personal effects of the estate of
'Elizabeth C. Hormann hae been appraised
at $7082.38; Mary McIIugh, $4948.10, and
Cornelia S. Cllno. $3389.99.
Will Send Shnckleton Relief Ship
LONDON, May 20. Plans for the relief
of Lieutenant Sir Ernest Sliackleton. who
with a number of his men Is marooned In
the Antarctic, havo been completed by the
Royal Geographical Society. A relief ship
will leave London August 1 for Weddell
Sea by way of Buenos Aires
Wanted :
Room for
Expansion
This young man wants more
elbow room. He would like to
apply his unique experience to
the executive or purchasing end
of a going business. His judg
ment and business sense are keen
and he can handle men. His
qualifications will interest Impor
tant executives who need a real
assistant. He can leave his pres
ent work long enough to talkv
personally at any time with
any business man who calls him.
Public Ledger, BoxD 133,
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Clean-Up Week Reduction
$1.50 Oft the Price of a
Gas Water Heater
Regular price $14.50
' Clean-Up Week price $13.00
Terms $1.50 down, $1.25 a month
This special sale is for the week of May 22nd to
27th only.
Call at one of our showrooms or have us, send a:
representative. '
The United Gas Improvement Company
Be sure to visit the "U.G. I." exhibit at the Civic Exposition, Philadelphia Commercial Museum
4
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