BTVENIira m3DGEH PHIBADEIiPHI, SATURDAY, APBIK 15, I9r?.
-sskL
NOWADAYS YOU COULD. BLOW
NOBODY
vAnd Even Then It's 100 to
1 That You Will Be Con
sidered Justified Because
the Affidavits Was Sworn
to Before a Comnlissioner
of Deeds Instead of a No
tary Public," Says Birsky
This Optimistic Thought Is In
spired During the Course of
an Argument on the Willard-
' Moran Fight, in Which the
Real Estater and Zapp Dis
cuss the Finer Ethics of Yell
ing, "Ataboy, Professor von
Schlachthaus I Eat Him Up !
You've Got Him Groggy!" at
a Surgical Operation Than
of Attending a Prize Fight
T8EEN Max Folgenson on the sub-
X way this morning'," Louis Birsky,
tho real estater, said. "Ho told mo ho
was to tho Wlllard-Moran prizefight on
Saturday,
"T'phoocel" Barnett Zapp, the waist
manufacturer, commented.
"That's -what Max said," Louts con
tlnucd. "Then what did ho bo for ?" Zapp
asked.
"A customer of his by tho name of
McGovern was looking' over Max's lino
Friday and expressed a wish to go,"
Louis explained, "so Max spread tho
price of tho tickets over eighteen gar
ments McGovern picked out and they
took In tho fight."
"Faker!" Zapp exclaimed. "It ain't
two years ago slnco that feller was run
ning for president of every lodge and
society In Yorkvillo, and now he goes
on prizefights yet!''
"A couplo years makes a big differ
ence In tho way people look at things,
Zapp," Birsky said. "Before August 1,
10H, prizefighting wasn't considered
so refined already. But then you must
remember that In them days blowing
up a' Bate mit dynamite most peoplo
didn't think of so highly, neither, while
a feller which used only his baro hands
on his wlfo and children stood a show
to sit In prison for It, Zapp. However,
Zapp, peoplo ain't so narrow minded as
they used to was. Nowadays you could
blow up a 'cathedral, a hospital or a
passenger steamer with women and
children on It and nobody would blame
you for It till they examined tho affi
davits, and even then It's a hundred to
one that you will be considered as per
fectly Justified In doing It because tho
affidavits was sworn to before a com
missioner of deeds instead of a notary
public. Yes, Zapp, tho war has changed
people's Ideas so much that if tho
EASTER
Number Next
SATURDAY!
N
FAMOUS CHILDREN OF HISTORY
My dear Children I am very proud of you. So proud of the letters you
write me and the number of them. When I get a lot of letters I go parading
around the office and every one says, "My, what a lot of letters!" But I
don't let thorn, peek into my mail; no, sireel
It might make them jealous.
The other night I had a beautiful idea. It was to print for you, my dears,
the stories of tho FAMOUS CHILDREN OF HISTORY.
I know we can all find out about the boyhood of great men and women,
but I -want the stories of famous children. Stories of how boys and girls
did famous things which were never forgotten.
I had quite a time and I said to myself, "When you have almost 50,000
members, why work so hard? ASK THEM."
I remember something about a BOY stopping a leak in the dykes of
Holland nnd another boy who said, "Ring, Grandpa, ring I"
It seems to me I recollect (re-collect) something about the drummer boy
! Shiloh and the drummer boy of Gettysburg. But
i Here is a wonderful play:
Why can't we get up a book entitled "FAMOUS CHILDREN OF HIS
TORY," by the Rainbows of the Evening Ledgek in the city of Philadelphia?
You do the selecting and I'll do the work. Which is the harder?
It is my hope and my dream that the Rainbows will be known all over
the United States and the world. The world needs you now and it will
Heed you more when the great war is over.
Let us try to have the grown-ups say, "Well, wjiat do the Rainbows
say about it?" v
We should be AUTHORITY on matters pertaining to. children so that
folks will write to us and ask our advice, Don't you think so?
Sit down now sharpen your pencil, don't get ink on mother's carpet If
you write with a pen, and tell me of just ONE famous child of history.
Hoping tlje rabbits are well and that your baseball team won and that
the canary hasn't tonsillitis or your doll appendicitis (we never had sueh
beautiful diseases when I had a doll) and that you know your lessons and
the baby is well, I am, your loving editor, FARMER SMITH,
Children's Editor, Evening Ledger,
Things to Know and Do
1. What has a fish that corresponds to
the wings of a bird?
3. How ions does it take duck eggs to
hatch?
CAMERA
A Jtau rfuj? mkmt xoomf m
WOULD BLAME YOU
By MONTAGUE GLASS
"Ataboy, Professor
Y. M. H. A. or tho Y. M. C. A. would
run off a debate over 'Resolved that
Burning Alive with Liquid Fire Is Un
delicate,' y'understand, they could get
anyhow eighty-three college professors
to take tho negative side, so what Is tho
use arguing whether this hero 'Wlllard
Moran fight was or was not a lowlifo
Qcscliichtcf"
"Well, maybe It wasn't a lowlifo
Qcschichtc after all," Zapp admitted.
"There was a whole lot of decent re
spectable people thoro doctors, lawyers
and oven Judges of tho Now York Su
premo Court even. It said no In tho
papers, Birsky."
"Sure I know," Birsky said, "and It
also said in the papers that In tho sixth
round Wlllard battered Moran with
rights and lefts .in the faco, and that
consequencely Moran was covered with
blood, which I leave it to you, Znpp,
If a Judge of tho Supreme Court enjoys
such things, It's a whole .lot more
oefcoret for him to go to a hospital and
kibbitz an operation, Zapp, and then if
the poor feller gets covered with blood,
neblch, he's anyhow under other and
nobody Is going to shout: ( "Ataboy,
Professor von Schlachthaus! Eat him
up! You've got him groggy!"
"Why should people get enthusiastic
JV
ews an
To You
Are YOU one of the boys who earned
J2 last week? If not, writ? to Farmer
Smith and he will tell you Just how they
made that money,
CORNER
fey Helen Byan, Gvrbrook
'
von SchlachthnusI Eat him up I You've
at an operation?" Zapp asked. "Every
body knows beforehand It's a dead open
and shut proposition from tho start and
that ono of tho contestants ain't got a
show In tho world. Abcr at a prize
fight the parties is not so unevenly
matched but what It ain't anyhow 10
to 1 In favor of one sldo or tho other.
Also, Birsky, a feller which goes to a
prlzoflght could not only make a llttlo
money on tho sldo, but could also get
somo pretty good pointers on how to
defond himself, Birsky."
"Maybe he could," Birsky said, "but
before such fellers use them pointers In
solf-defensb, Zapp, they like first to try
'cm out on somebody, preferably a per
fect stranger, who hasn't got an Interest
In common with them except a gold
watch and chain ho Is wearing or a two
carat diamond In his necktie."
"Sure, I know," Zapp retorted, "but
suppose, on tho other hand, somebody
teles to take from you your watch and
chain, Birsky, and you've been going on
prizefights llko this hero Wlllard-Moran
fight, y'understand. Then, If you've
learned something from what you'vo
seon, all you've got to do is to schenck
the feller an upper cut odcr a left or
right In the face, y'understand, and ho
would think a long tlmo, I bet yer, be
ofV
DAYD MEL TZEP lgj!llaBL -.tJ liHBMBHBI LEOATfPD BAILEY
DOROTHY BATTEM CJPOLAfE MMGGOLD
MILDRED MOTE - MCHIRD H??KISOAf-GEO?GE MEXMDEP -EJTEP B?SA7?A-
HONOR ROLL CONTEST
FrUea for the best anawer to "Thlnga
to Know and Do" for the week ending
April 8 were won by the following
child rem
Hymn Connelly, Frankford, SI,
Leonard liafljr, Addition at., BO eenti.
Lillian Under, Went Cheater, Pa.,
SB centa.
Emma I.nder, West Chester, Pa., SB
centa,
Stella Allen, Willow Orore, Pa.,-S3
centa,
John llaye. Pine at,, SB cenla.
Speaking of Baseball
Now Is the time to organizes TOUR
team ' While you are dlllying and dally
ing some other wide-awake manager's
pitcher is out on the open lot laying la a
stock of fast ones ana slow ones that are
going to shout "strike three" to your "next
batter up."
Listen to what John Finelll. of Roseta,
Pa., has to say: "We have a baseball team
and I'll bet we can win from any team
of our size. I say this not because I think
oar boys are better than other boys, but
because we are PRACTICING. That does
not mean now and then; It means every
single day. The boya say, sometimes,
-I'm. too tired to come to the schoolyard
this afternoon' ; but I say. 'Practice makes
perfect,' and they cornel" Here U a
manager whose team Is going to wjn t
George Thomas, South 65th street, is
another energetic manager whose team Is
going; to make things lively in West Phil
adelphia. AH up for the lucky seventh! Thre&
cheers for Bainbow bats !
A Big Thought for little People
wi iauure but Mw ana; u mvnr
T
UP A HOSPITAL OR
TILL THEY HAD SEEN THE AFFIDAVITS"
::: :::
got him groggy!"
fore ho would try to ganvcr your watch
from you again."
"Say," Birsky said, "from what Max
Folgenson says he is getting soaked for
tlckots at that Willard-Moran fight.
Zap, If a feller has got to go1 to such a
place to Mearn self-defense, Zapp, ho
might sooner got Ills watch and chain
stolo on him twice over and bo In money
on tho transaction And, besides, Zapp,
you tako these here rules of n feller by
the nnrno of Marcus oE Queens Borough
which prizefighters uses, y'understand,
and thoy aro only practical for self-defense
when (a) tho other feller knows
'em too and (b) ho is willing to stick to
'em.
"And oven then they ain't to bo ro
lled upon neither," Zapp admitted, "be
cause even though Moran followed out
the idces of this here Marcus, y'under
stand, ho got terrible Hakkaz from Wll
lard, anyhow. Yea, Birsky, ho might
Just so well of got his dopo out of
Flschlowltz's Guldo for Dress Cutters,
formerly tho Designer's Companion, for
all tho good it done him. Tako, for
Instance, tho eighth round, and Moran
tried out everything he learned from
Marcus, and what happens? He
launched a stiff right swing over on
Wlllard's head, but as the paper said
armer Dm
RAINBOWS YOU WILL HEAR
Our Postoffice Box
"All thoughts lead to the Rain
bow." That Is what your editor thinks
when lie opens the morning mall and
reads about all the lovely plans the mem
bers are making for our wonder clubl
Picnic branches, sewing circles, baseball
teams, "long hike" bands, these and more
he hears about until his heart Just fairly
Jumps and wants to be out a-playlng with
the Rainbows! Caroline Ringgold, North
Broad street, and Lorraine Hoggs, of
Diamond street, are forming some mys
terious sort of a branch circle. Inez Cuneo
announces the "Happy-Go-Lueky Rain
bows." Juliet Robertson and Eleanor
Lewis, of Maple Shade. N. J., want to
know what to do t Form a garden branch
club and send your flowers to city hos
pitals, where the little ones are not apt
to see the blossoms that are perhaps sec
ond nature to you little girls. Florence
Clothier, of Wynnewood, and Frank Laws,
of Cynwyd, might follow out the same
plan,
Nunzlo Gruoclo has formed a branch
club In Vineland, N J ; he and his mem
bers send their best regards to the rest
of the Rainbows. Charles Taylor, Poplar
street, calls loudly for a personal club
meeting. There are bo many of us,
Charles, there isn't a room large enough
to hold us. Please come down and have
a meeting of your very own t Clara Feld
man. Walnut street, has decided talent
for writing stories. If she sends in a
short story written on ona side of the
page, she may expect to see It published.
Following are the new out-of-town members-
Harry Alien, Yeadon, Pa. j Roscoe
Emery, HarleysviUe, pa ; Viola Flowers,
Mew Castle, Del. ; Thomas Qulnn, Atlantic
City. N X; Charles Tolln, Atlantic
City, K. J , Marion Anunerman, Echo
Lake. Pa.; John McTaguo, Northampton,
Pa. ; IJerbcrt Moyer, SeitareviU, Pa ,
Maxima Kinj, Palmyra, N. X ; Bertha May
It did not seem to worry tho big man.
He again scored with a right, but urfc
Hcrmal It did not seem to Jar tho cham
pion, so to speak. Ho rushed Wlllard
and brought over a right to tho cham
pion's paw, vcr&tchsi du mlch, but Jess
only grinned."
"Sure ho grinned," Blisky said. "Ho
was probably thinking how different it
would of been If, Instead of relying ex
clusively on this hero Marcus of Queens
Boiough, Mornn had took a couplo of
suggestions from the catalogue of tho
E. C. Simmons Hardware Company, of
St. Louis."
"Tho moving-plcturo peoplo wouldn't
stood for It, Birsky," Zapp said.
"Sayl" Birsky retorted. "Moving
plcturo peoplo ain't so tender-hearted
neither. They aro running off lots of
flllums where a feller by tho nnrno
Ned Is tied to a tree by tho Mexican,
nnd gets pretty near burned nllvo If
It wouldn't be for Mary Plckford or
ono of them ladles, so why should them
fellers take It so particular If Moran
puts Wlllard out of business with a
smalt sledge hammer, for Instance, espe
cially as, from all accounts, tho least
anybody could do him a serious Injury
with would bo a meat ax."
"What aro you talking nonsense
tender-hearted?" Zapp said. "Tho mov-Ing-plcturo
peoplo paid $10,000 for
tho privilege of taking pictures of that
fight, and If Moran would of used a
sledge hammer on Wlllard In tho first,
round, and by a lucky shot knocked
Wlllard unconscious, Birsky, right away
them moving-plcturo fcllors would lose
their ton thousand. As It was, It Wll
lard wouldn't of broken his right hand
In the third round ho might of knocked
If Moran had took suggestions
from tho catalogue of a hardware
company.
itn s Rainb
ABOUT!
FARMER SMITH,
, Evening Ledoeh:
I wish to become a member of your
Rainbow Club. Please Bend me a beau
tiful Rainbow Button free. I agree
to DO A LITTLE KINDNESS EACH
AND EVERY DAY SPREAD A
LITTLE SUNSHINE ALL ALONG
THE WAY,
Name
Address ,
Age ..........,,,.,...
School I attend ,...,,., , . . .
Chltds, Danville, Pa.; Mildred Gamble,
Llanerch, Pa.; Charles Robinson, Clay,
mont, Del, and Francis Qulgley, Wilming
ton, Del. ,
These little members .send grateful re
cognition of their pretty Rainbow buttons:
Rebecca Miles, Herbert! Dalton, Rebecca
Sweeney, Edith Mitchell! Atlantic City, N.
J.; William Eckert, Egg Harbor, N. J.;
John O'Rourke, Arthur Flscbel, Helen
Choate. Clara and Ruth ilarrls, Wilming
ton, Del. ; Albert "Mann, Walter Wright,
Rockledge, Fa. : Earl Chucoff and Rebecca
Miles.
Our Special
The Easter number of the Rainbow
News and Views will appear in next Sat
urday's Evening. Ledger.
The best Easter drawings, bunnies,
etc, and Easter stories received not later
than Tuesday, April 18, will be printed
In that number. All drawings must be
made in Jet black, ink on white unruled
paper, all stories, written on bna side of
the page.
If you are giving any Easter parties
or going to any, or It you are going out
Of town, over the Easter holidays send in
the notice, to the Rainbow social column.
Social notes should reach hero not Uter
than Wednesday, April If.
A SHIP AND
0
WUBaK$wjKmjSEv' 111
"With instructions not to use it on Willard unless it looked like
Moran would bo unconscious anywhere beforo tho tenth round."
Moran out In tho fourth round, and tho
moving-plcturo follors wouldn't of been
ablo to market their lino for cioro than
60 cents on tho dollar." '
"That's a flno risk to tako with ten
thousand dollars, I must say," Birsky
commented.
"Yoio a risk!" Zapp said. "I wouldn't
bo surprised If them fellers stationed a
sharpshooter In tho cheap ten dollar
seats, way up near tho roof, and handed
him ono of them Maxim air rifles with
instructions not to use It on Wlllard
unless it looked llko Moran would bo
knocked unconscious anywhere before
tho tonth round."
"You couldn't blamo 'em," Birsky
said.
"Certainly you couldn't," Zapp
agreed, "In especially as everybody clso
makes money out of It. Take, for In
stance, this hero Tox Illckard, and I
understand ho made a big clean up."
"Well, tho feller deserves It," Birsky
said. "Talk about taking risks, Zapp,
thero Is a feller goes to work, hlre3
Madison Squaro Garden, spends a
fortune for advertising, sells a whole
lot of tickets, y'understand, and all tho
tlmo ho ain't certain whether or not
them two fcllors wouldn't mako It up
nnd apologlzo to one another and at
ow
Club
SATURDAY EVENING SMILES
What It Is to Be Happy A little girl was asked to tell the. meaning' of
the word happy. "To be happy," she said, "is to feel as if you wanted to give
your very best doll to your little sister."
The Great Difference A class at school was asked this question: "What
is the difference between lightning and electricity?" "Teacher," cried ono
boy, "I know; you don't have to pay for lightning,"
The Reason "Tommy," said mother anxiously, "what's little brother
crying that wny for?" "Why," answered Tommy, who had just taken tho
little fellow's cake, "I guess that's the only wny he knows how to cry, mother."
To Oblige a Customer A small boy stepped into a bookstore and in
quired tho price of spelling books. On being told they were 12 cents apiece
nnd having but 9 cents, ho was very much discouraged. At length an idea
seemed to strike him. "Mister," he said, "can't you find one that's torn that
you'll let mo have for D cents?" The clerk looked in vain. The boy was dis
heartened. Then suddenly another bright idea struck him. "Please, mister,"
he cried, "enn't you tear one?"
PARMER SMITH'S GOAT BOOK
Billy Bumpus and the Gnome
IF THERE was one thing our friend
Billy Bumpus loved to do, It was to
look down In a hole. One day, after lie
had finished eating the lock off the barn
door, he started for the Big Pond, singing
softly to himself.
"I am a little go-o-oat;
I wish I had a bo-o-oat "
"I guess I'll stop before my poetry be
gins to rock the boat." Then he chuckled
to himself, as he loved to do, because It
made his beautiful whiskers wabble.
Suddenly Billy stopped and looked
down. Right In front of htm was a beau
tiful hole In the ground.
"Oh, dear little hole
Were you made by a mole?
"I'm getting to be- a great poet. I hope
my words don't fall in the hole," said
Billy,
"One of them hit me In the eye." A
tiny voice came from the ground and Billy
sniffed the scent of fresh upturned earth.
"Who are you down there? A burled
tin can?" asked Billy,
"I'm a gnome," came the answer,
"Well, little Gnome !
I'm glad you are home."
"My name is Billy Bumpus I'm the
"THAT FIRST GAME"
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Illustrations by BRIGGS
tho last momont call tho wholo thing
off."
"What do you mean mako It up?"
Zapp demanded. "Make what up ?"
"Tho quarrel Wlllard and Moran had
betweon them," Birsky explained.
"What nro you talking nonsense
quarrel?" Zapp exclaimed. "Then two
fellers didn't quarrel."
"Then you mean to say them loafers
was scrapping for nothing yet?" Birsky
said.
"I should .say not," Zapp cried. "Wll
lard was scrapping for $50,000 and
Moran for $15,000."
"Then thorn two boys wasn't Just
loafers after all," Birsky said. "Abcr
whero did tho money como from to pay
'em?"
"Tho tickets sold for $180,000," Zapp
replied.
"And who got tho balanco nftor the
fighters and tho expenses was paid?"
Birsky Inquired.
"Tox Illckard," Zapp said. "Ho re
ceived over $80,000."
In tho contemplation of this .vast
sum, Birsky remained silent for aoraj
moments.
. "Tell me, Zapp," ho said at last,
"didn't this hero Maicus of Queens
Borough got nothing out of It?"
The Weather
'T'S
RAINING
VIOLETS r
goat ever bear ot me down there?. Say
what's a Gnome, anyway. Something to
eat?"
"I guess you are all stomach, Jiist like
some people, alwaya thinking ot eating,"
said the Gnome,
"You have to live to eat," answered
Billy, crossly.
"Oh, no ! You eat to live."
Billy squinted down the hole and
shouted, "That's what I sald.oonly back
ward. But say, have you ever heard of
me?"
"Yes, I heard of you when I was 39,999
miles away, but only faintly. I heard
your footsteps and came here In an In
stant." "Whewl" exclaimed Billy, "If you
travel 89,999 miles In an Instant you can
go faster than a Jack rabbit with bis
hind legs frozen. And, excuse me, here
comes a Dog 1"
Billy ran as fast as he could to the
top of a hill beside the Big Pond, and
when the Dog caught up with him Billy
Bumpus butted him right Into the lake,
Therel" ha exclaimed. "Swim down
99,999 miles until you strike a nest of
Gnomes."
Thoroughly satisfied with himself, Billy
began eating a fence rail.
OAXQUMvlk
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1