EVENING LEDGER-PHILADELPHIA, SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 1916.
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"ONE THING FELLERS WHICH LIVE IN THE SUBURBS
Thus Spake Zapp in
Commenting Up op
the Joys of Suburban
Life, Which Don't
Appeal to Him at All
J3irsky, on the Other Hand, Who
Has Never Lived Out of the
City, Is Convinced That the
Country Dweller Is Much
More Happy Than the City
ite, Especially in the Slimmer
Being- n Suburbanite Is Like Doing a
Traveling Salesman, Bays Zapp.
"The Distanco You Travel Is the
Same, the Railroad Accommoda
tions Ain't No Better, but Instead
of Getting Every Night n Rotten
Dinner and a Good Gamo of Pi
nochle Afterwards at Dollar-and-n-Half-n-Day.
Hotels, American
Plan, You Go Homo and Got a
Good Dinner and No Gamo of
Pinochle"
'TRUN across Max Palke3 yester
' day afternoon," Louis Birsky, the
real cstnter, said one -morning in
March. "He was telling mo that you
spent Sunday with him at his place in
Sand Plains."
"He ain't lying to you," Barnett
Zapp, tho waist manufacturer, ad
mitted. '
"What kind of a property has he
got up there?" Birsky asked.
"He's got all the conveniences of a
feller living in a $20 a month cold
water flat, without janitor service,
before steam heat was invented, ex
cept that he ain't so handy to a deli
catessen store. The bread run out at
lunch time, Birsky, and for supper wo
had to cat Fig- Newtons with tho
eingemachte herring and luncheon
bolony, as Mrs. Paikes didn't know
tho neighbors good enough to borrow
a loaf from them on account of only
living up there three years."
-"But ain't tho air elegant up in
Westchester County?" Birsky in
sisted. "Say I" Zapp exclaimed, "after a
feller escapes with hi3 life from tho
subway at 42d street, y'understand,
and travels up to Sand Plains cyory
night in a combination baggage and
smoker along with fivo or six dozen
SPECIAL
FLOWER WEEK
NUMBER
THE KIDDIES' GARDEN
"Close to Nature" is a phrase that mean3 more than many of us think.
Gardening in all forms brings us there. For children, especially, it is bene
ficial. Gardening wields an influence
a. child love naure, birds, animals, and
Itgnakcs dull spots bright and forms,
a lea of beauty.
There are many varieties of flowers that are easily grown and appeal
especially to the fancy of children, chief among which aro pansy, portulaca,
petunia, nasturtium, alyssum and marigold.
Tho child's garden makes the parent take an interest in Nature, and
many an hour that would bo spent indoors otherwise is whiled away in tho
midst of clean soil.
It is interesting to watch children garden, because they lovo it and
because on their faces can be seen continually, from seed-sowing till bloom
time, a happy and cagor look, a bright hope of What that plant will bring
forth and how soon it will bloom; after which mother's flower vase will be
supplied daily with iresn posies.
Health the greatest asset in life has almost been overlooked. The
more a child is outdoors, when properly clothed, the more robust and health
ful will it remain and the doctor will become a stranger.
If you've a spot in the yard, let tho children have a flower garden. If
you've only a brick pavement, then let them have a window box. But give
them a garden of some kind in summer. Make your plans now.
FARMER SMITH'S FLOWER BOOK
The Forget-me-not
The eagle Bat on the highest crag ot
the mountain and looked afar over tho
distant hills. Then ho descended to the
ground, where he sat quite still. sua-Uenly-
he heard a voice beside him and,
looking down, discovered a small seed.
"Ah I" he thought to himself. "I wonder
how that seed came to be there and what
It is called I am bo hungry and Just as I
was longing for a seed, here it is, right
beside me."
.inat at that moment he heard a small
I voice, which said very gently; "Please,
Eagle dear, do not eat me. but take me to
the valley, where I long to be. For years
I have been here on the top ot this high
'mountain, while I sigh to be in the valley
beside the cool DrooK.-
"So you have no name?" asked the
EagleA "And you want to live and grow
and blossom in the valley?"'
"Yes you will not eat me, will you?"
1 think not, but you are only' one of
many who want what ydu do not have.
It la the way of the world. I. the great
Eagle, fond of the heights as I am, want
to be penned in a cage, like a canary,
where can hear the soft voices of those
about me and hear the rustle of beautiful
women's dresses. Ah, me! We all want
what we do not have, and that is wby I
am not sure that I should eat you and
have it all over with."
"If you do for others, you will some time
have others do for you." said the tiny
voice. "Besides, if you take me to the
foot of the mountain I will let you name
roe and no one will ever forget mp. for I
was named by you the great Eagle, tho
king of birds."
'You reason well and I will take you
Very gently down to the mossy bank be
side the brook, and then what will you do
tec me?'
"What can I, a little seed, do for youT
X told you to name me you are to name
We."
With that the great Eagle took the tiny
feed la his huge beak and flew down to the
mossy bank beside the Xrook. When be
had. done this, the wind began to sing
through the trees and the little brook rip
pled with laughter Suddenly the big
Eagle was Piled with a strange feeling.
"Can this be lover" he asked. "This
itranga feeling P
T you have done, me a, great kind-'
MORE THAN FELLERS WHICH
By MONTAGUE GLASS
Along with fivo or six dozen decent, respectable, hard-working
Italicncr ashcart drivers.
decent, respectable, hard-working
Italicner ashcart drivers, understand
me, when cn&flch he arrives in tho
country, Birsky, tho air must got to
be elegant, otherwiso it wouldn't be
too much to expect there is wniting
for him a couple of soda water tanks
full of oxygen like they give it to
pneumonia patients with a rating of
A to C, credit high."
"What are you talking nonsense,
Znpp?" Birsky said. "I bet you
wasn't on the train half an hour.
Sand Plains is one of the most con
venient suburbs to get to."
"Sure, I know," Zapp said, "but
Paikes don't live in tho suburbs, Bir
sky. He lives in the suburbs of the sub
urbs, and ho says to me on the train
that from the station to his house is
only 20 minutes by trolley, but ho
practically novcr takes it as his oiter
mobilc is waiting for him at the sta
tion practically every night, and gots
him to his home in 10 minutes. Well,
after we got out of the trolley, Bir
sky, wo walked another 10 blocks, and
at last we reached tho house. If ever
you go up to Sand Plains to Bee
Paikes and the oitermobile should
Gott soil hutcn practically not be at
the station, Birsky, you couldn't miss
Paikes' house. Keep to the right af
ter you cross the tracks and it's the
050th white Colonial house with, green
blinds and a For Sale sign on it."
News and
that is far-reaching in effect; it makes
helps cultivate a loveable disposition.
whero trash heaps often would exist,
ness; you have been unselfish, and either
one may be called love."
"Then, to show my love for you, I call
you Forget-me-not, and hereafter, through
out all ages, you shall bo the emblem of
my love, the love of the great Eagle.
Your name shall be Forget-me-not."
The little Forget-me-not sighed while
the' wind Bang still louder. The little
brook danced in the sunlight and the world
was very, yery happy, for the flower of the
Eagle's love had come to live In the
valley.
My Garden
Br 'USDETII ANNE
My garden's a common patch of the earth.
It's blossoms are not rare.
Like daisies free they race o'er the ieo.
They grow most everywhere.
My violets won't hide in a shady glen,
They're Just the light of skies j
They lurk a bit of June heaven
In the depths of a Rainbow eyes.
My rotes, they ecorn a pale hothouse.
Yet the loveliest flower I know
Is the pink that chases the, dimple
In the cheek of a wee Rainbow ;
My garden's a shlmrnery golden placet
Sometimes I wander where
Tho sunlight makes a buttercup
Of the glint in a baby's hair.
Oh, sweet, Twevjt living garden.
Breath qf a world above:
Praise be, you're wide na the sea,
A boundless world to love!
An Interesting Letter
Dear Farmer Smith Perhaps you
-would like to know About my sister Bes
sie and myself. Wt live in what one
might call the country, although it Is
quite near the trains) and trollejs. We
have five acres of ground and I am, .going
to have a fine vegetable garden and my
sister a flower garden J have ordered
my seed from the schonl. I suppose you
have heard of those pt&iny packet seeds,
haven't you? I am vejy much interested
in our garden and I Jtnow you will be.
too. JOHEMH HAYLICEK
estnut mil. Pa,
"Is Paikes' house for sale?" Birsky
asked.
"Sure it is," Zapp replied. "What
do you think Paikes is such a close
friend of mind that he asks me up for
pleasure?"
"For why docs he want to sell?"
Birsky inquired.
"He says before lunch that his
wife takes a dislike to tho place on
account in summer the smell of tho
flowers reminds her of tho cemetery
where hor Uncle Jake's first wife is
buried, and for that reason he would
take $12,500 for the house. After
lunch ho also said that his hay fever
was something terrible up there and
he might bo willing on that account
to call it nn oven ? 12,000. After sup
per he says if it wouldn't be that his
father-in-law is getting pretty feeble
and might go off at any moment, cor
ner of 89th street and Madison ave
nue, y'understand, he wouldn't take a
penny less than $11,500 for the house,
and just before I got on tho train to
come home ho says how much would I
give for the house."
"But Paikes really and truly paid
$12,000 for tho house," Birsky de
clared, "Then how could he expect to get
rid of it for $11,500?" Zapp demand
ed. "If you would read tho Sunday
papers, Birsky, you would know that
V ie ws of
Ilonor Roll Contest
Filiei for the bet answers to
"Thln to Know and Do" for the
week ending March 18 were won by
the following children I
Margaret Uonatelll, Morri street, f 1,
Elliabeth Turner, Walnut street, SO
centi,
Eleanor Koom, Wynnewood, 25
centi,
ltulph Home, Quakertawn, Fa., tS
centi.
Jane Dai It, Fine street, 15 cents.
Jack Davie, Fine street, 25 cent.
Springtime for "the Sick-a-Bed"
If you know of a little girl or a big girl
who is "sick-a-bed" and dependent on
kind friends for snatches of Bpringttme,
why not make her a pretty flower ball
which may hang cheerily in the bedroom?
To da this take a large sponge and a half
a dozen or more crocus bulbs (you may
buy them cheaply enough from any seeds
man). Fasten the bulbs in the holes of the
sponge by means of strings, then cover it
all over with moss. Hang the ball in p
sunny window. A good plan for watering
is to soak the ball each day in a bowl
of warm water. X.et the water drain off
and then hang the "garden" up again,
the sponge will retain the moisture. Plenty
of sunshine and lots of water will coax
out blossoms that will bring a "truly
springtime" into the very room of the
"slck-a-bed."
A Riddle
Why are soldiers tUrd on April 1?
(Seat In by Leonard, Bally. Addison
street)
kr" 'vv J 1 "Who&Q sunny hours lwA Nii ', :
(WTk ..j v s.L 1 Creep with silent feet' S EMfe J: JLjLSi
YCkJ.BT.StoWSiAnv WV UMJrV) tVl k cVUV YjBbc&D&& GX0VJ5, MJ.JKx
Wmet a?ojw?PDrjk theimj LEDDYMUPnce EUEPQyrjiY jcpegejpxjubUe
i
the standard amount below cost which
they advertise country houses to sell
for is $5000. In fact, I often figured
it out, Birsky, that as everybody is
willing to sell his 12-room house with
three baths, sun parlor and every
modern improvement for $5000 be
low cost, if such a house originally
cost $25,000 and changes hands six
times, y'understand, tho lost owner
gets it for nothing with a bonus of
$5000 thrown in. And oven then ho
is welcome to tho house for nil of
me."
"That's because you don't know
what it is like to live in the country,
Zapp," Birsky said.
"I think I've got a pretty good
idee," Zapp retorted. "It's some
thing like being southern salesman
for n line of goods where you've got
to make a different town each day.
The distance you travel is tho same,
the railroad accommodations ain't no
better, but instead of getting every
night a rotten dinner and n good
game of pinochle aftorwards at dol-lar-and-n-half-a-day
hotels, Ameri
can plan, you go home and get a good
dinner and no game of pinochle at all
from one year's end to the other. Yes,
Birsky, it's very unjust the way the
world looks at things. For instance,
once in five years Mr. Roosevelt
makes a trip of about 10,000 miles,
y'understand, and when ho comes
back, y'understand, a dozen maga
zines is falling over themselves that
Mr. Roosevelt should accept $5000
a piece for an article tolling about
these hero 10,000 miles he traveled;
he writes a book about it, Birsky, and
gets paid at the rate of a dollar a
mile,' or $10,000, for it; ho gives a
lecture about it in Carnegie Hall and
six people sends letters to the papers
and complains of the man in the box
office because ho says all right he's
a liar then, when ho told them two
hours after the advance sale opened
that the entire house was sold out
and they said he was a liar. The Ex
plorers' Union, Local No. 1, gives a
dinner to him not the box-office man,
but Mr. Roosevelt, and he makes an
after-dinner speech (Copyright T.
Roosevelt, 1015) about it and realizes
another $2500 or so, and that's the
way it goes. But you take Max
Paikes which in five years travels
76,000 miles to Mr. Roosevelt's 10,000,
Birsky, and what is it? Nobody asks
him to writo about it; nobody wants
him to talk about it,, and,-if somebody
Farmer Smith s Rainbow Glut
A RAINBOW KLOCK OF POSIES
"Things to Know and Do"
'COPY UNCLE
RUBE.
BY HECK)
iiMnin n
LIKETtR
SEE M-
FARttf R
LjniTH
Here is some one who knows all
about "green things growing"!
Our Poatofflcc Box
Best wUheb to the "Rainbow UUtS"
and. the "Carnation Ralnbower on this,
their flower y I May they be aa happy
as the iovely.young flowers of spring
Iaj Famr Smith I always have, my
fektlsBBBBBBsl
r i yrl'H
oh me iCT I A
TOO i V -rY
LIVE IN THE CITY IS
A
-
f ' '- '
Sita t05s HP H fe iJwS'k
DIM BulH 2? -Mm 13 n- - Jn
SlJBJli is 8 1 tfe
SSslsS&seS? Bag Efl Ta fia . w m d bisV
i "" " ! ." ,T si P1 M M te "WMwiwv
It's tho 956th white Colonial house.
blows him on account of it to a ryo
bread tongue sandwich and n package
of nil-tobacco cigarettes it would bo
big nlready."
"Evidcncely you seem to think that
it's a hardship that a feller should
live in the country," Birsky said. "Did
you ever think what it means to a
business man that he should be able
to raise his own vegetables?"
"Sure, I did," Zapp replied. "It
means that he is going to cat prin
cipally radishes for the whole summer
because that's the only vegetable
which a business man who raises his
own vegetables could really rely upon.
Furthermore, you think I am a green
horn in the country, Birsky, but I
already done my twenty odd thousand
miles in round-trip instalments of 44
miles a day on the Long Island Rail
rood, and I know tho whole game of
living in the country right the way
through, from getting stuck with the
lots downwards. I used to own a
house at Brunswick Beach and when
I achencked it to tho second mort
FARMER SMITH,
, Evenino Ledger:
I wish to become a member of your
Rainbow Club, Please send me a beau
tiful Rainbow Button free. I agree
to DO A LITTLE KINDNESS EACH
AND EVERY DAY SPREAD A
LITTLE SUNSHINE ALL ALONG
THE WAY.
Name ,....., , , ,
Address ,..,..,,,...,,,.... ,..
Age ..,, .;;, .,
School I attend ,..,,,.,,,. ,,....'... .
own flower garden. I have a little patch
of ground In the yard and I plant the
seed myself and have quite a few flowers
every year, and if I have success this
year I'm going to send you a great big
bunch. That is what little Esther Miller,
of Rozborough, writes, and we're hoping
for that success, because we want those,
flowers,
Howard Trueland, Cape May, wishes to
know what our dues are. Our dues are
set forth in the Rainbow pledge "Do a
little kindness each and every day." A
private little note to John Custer, Cyn
wyd: Did you get that Rainbow button?
A big amount of thanks to W- Aubrey
Jefters. of Wilmington, for the picture he
drew for us. Alfred McCrea, German
town, suggests that alt "little Rainbows"
save their pennies during Lent and see
how many they can have,- by Easter Sun
Bay. Many thanks to Mildred Friedman for
"The Story of the Little Dancer," and a
courteous acknowledgment Jo CurtU Po
han and Pearl Brown for, their sincere
little letter.
HAS GOT
Illustrations by BRIGGS
gagee a year and a half after it wa3
built, y'understand, it had cracks in
tho walls on the second floor which if
you'd put a couple of windows and
a dgor in 'cm could of been considered
as extra masters' bedrooms."
"Steam heat will do that to a new
house, Zapp," Birsky said. "Maybe
you kept the place too warm."
"Too warm!" Zapp exclaimed.
"Listen, Birsky, the heating plant of
that house wasn't designed for
nothing bigger than a five-dollar-a-ycar
safe deposit box. With the fur
nace going full on, Birsky, whenever
my wife opened the refrigerator door,
Birsky, it raised tho temperature of
the kitchen 10 degrees. Tho plumbing
was nothing extra, neither. We had
a gas heater for the hot water, Bir
sky, which, figuring at the rate of
$1.80 per thousand cubic feet, if you
took six hot baths it was the equiva
lent of a suit of clothes. For years
in New York I tried to bring myself
to take a cold plunge in the morning,
but I couldn't stand the shock till I
SSEUG TAHW
raeD nerdlihC:
slhT tnemtrnned. ni rrdrn nf rh
l wonk uoy evah neeb gnitiaw rof gnihtemo3 lauaunu siht yad fo ht clohw
xucy uuu ii si cren.
scmitemos ruoy rehtom syas ot uoy:
.vii.o ui, t,'"":io3, uoy era syawia
t,...b"i. new ou ruo aeirois, rot
una in gmniemos vr,lN.
I esoppus taht nebw uoy og ot deb
neeb ylluferac edam htiw a "pils teehs"
sah tup a riah hsurb neewteb eht steehs.
A sselmrah emag dluow eb rof uoy ot tup a eton ta eht etalp fo hes
ruoy yjimni, gnmec menc ot kooi rednu
eton cnillet rehtom. rof ecnatsni. ot kool
tup n, eton htiw a ssik no ti dna llet reh
tun a eton htiw LIRPA LOOP no ti.
I evah deirt ot dnif eht nicirn tn
---, .-. j. ,.,m ,,, J(9, V 1C14V
taerg sretirw, taht ti si dih ni ytirucsbo. tub eht hcnerP .lias tm HmA ?i
saw a hsif. sihT yam eb a hsif yrots, tub uoy nac ylisae dnif tuo xof'
flesruoy ro ekam bu a vrots. i
fl uoy lliw dnes em a rettel gnillet
ub loeu nrebbei o mnt ew yam esu ment txen raey, rot ii uoy era ton
gnipeek a pares koob fo eseht sklat dna seirots, uoy lliw be yrros os ereht
"" "ujr can suib javt m tiiiiuueri
My Poppy Garden
By ROSE BOLEN
It was a very clear day in May. I
decided to plant a garden of popples. I
dug the earth :rom the ground and Uld
tho seeds around, I watered the garden,
faithfully for a week and at last I saw
a small plant tprouttng up. In a few
weeks I had a lovely plant.
One day I heard of a woman who was
very 111 and -needed something to make
her hapnjp
Later T" transplanted my popples into
a green box for the lady. I took the box
to the woman. She thanked me, and this
made me happy and rewarded me for the
trouble.
Spring
By ANNA MOONBV. Cheltenham.
' The snow has melted all away
The flowers are coming out to play.
The robins and the bluebirds, too.
Will come to sing to me and you.
A Prize "White Chrysanthemum"
This fluffy white chrysanthemum U
tagged "Rex Boy" It la the carefully
tended property of Miss Martha Atkin
son, of Colwyn, Pa. "Rex Boy has been
shown lb many exhblU and many are the
oiua rtgwona nb tuna micsicu witn lis
laaal IT"
MILEAGE"
Seen my first month's gas bill ofct ht' ,
Brunswick Beach, and after that nit
I' had to do when I jumped into & cold .
bath was to think how many cubic
feet I was saving, and if it was nix
below zero even I got a pleasant glow
all over. Later on it got to be such
a habit with me to toko cold plunges,
Birsky, that the second summer we
was there when they had that bmd
water1 famine on Long Island, 1 ued
bottled water as long as I could gt t
tho spring; water companies to send
mo trial samples. For over a month
there wo done the week's washing
with artificial vichy and my wife had
to get rid of tho wash lady because
for every siphon she put in tho tubs
sho drank one herself."
"You wore lucky it was only vichy,
Zapp," Birsky said. "It might have
been ginger nle or root beer, in which
case she would of took it homo to the
children."
"Joko if you wnnt to, Birsky," Zapp
retorted. "But what I am tolling you
now is facts from living in the
country."
"Schmooes, Zapp!" Birsky 'said.
"You could have shortage of water in
tho city just so imich as in the coun
try. Just because you didn't like
Brunswick Beach ain't nothing;
against it. Simon Kuhncy has been
living now in Brunswick Beach for
six years, y'understand, and ho says
if ho leaves his house at 7 o'clock ho
is in his offico at 8:15."
"Sure, I know," Zapp said, "but if
a feller which leaves his homo in
Brunswick Beach at 7 o'clock would ,
arrive in his offico at 8:15 only often
enough, Birsky, sooner or later on his
account the conductor would got to l '
so from car to car askine is there a '1 '.
doctor on the train."
"Well, if everybody felt the way
you do about living in the country,
Zapp," Birsky said, "who would bu-
suburban real estate?"
"Nobody," Zapp replied.
"But you admit that there's a whole
lot of people living in the suburbs,
Zapp," Birsky said, and Zapp nodded.
"Then there must be some advan
tage in it," Birsky insisted.
"Well," Zapp admitted, "there's
one thing that fellers which lives inj
the suburbs' has got more than XMom
which lives in the city."
"What's that?" Birsky asked.
"Mileage," Zapp concluded.
The Weather
RAIN-AWAKENED
FLOWERS!
YAD TI Sir
imiloArnfni finm v. , ,.r, t
"hO, ssendoogl I od hsiw uoy dluow
gnignanc." os si ruo nmuioc syawUJ
cat xngnea io aoonaunc sell nl egnahj
thginot uoy lliw dnif ruoy deb as
ro si a "eip deb." rO taht cmos oj
eht kcolc dna ereht uoy tsum
rerinu rili wniHn r,n .!, ,.
to kool no pot f o eht onaip dna uoy ns
lirnA 'nlnnP vnTk rlnn Hi... .,nD ,i,n i.J
em tahw UOY did yadot, I lliw tnirl
ruo I gnivot uneirf,
REMRAF HTIMS.
s'nerdllhC rotidE, cninevE recdeL-
A FIoweirGsrden Box
In response" to a Query of Mara
Coyle,B3efferson Rainbow, vhn .8
lousr.to have a "box garden,' John Ba
fi, mo avBHwa LiBnocn garden edit
. nuiMur vD4unieerea, me toilowlngJl
uur iiiue irjenq can ejther burui i
dow or porch box or make one. Very
ones cost as little as GO cents at the J
imiuum qiores. xo niaxe one tafc
shallow box. not more than two feet I
and bore half a dozen holes In the hntl
If it Ik tn rRt nn tUa Mam n .. ..JLJ
little wooden support? Bhould be nailed
to the four comers so as to raise the box
above the floor to allow drainage. The
box should then be painted. After it haa
dried, put In about six inches of small
stones or coarse cinders, which proraotas
drainage. Then flit in to within two Inch
of the top w(th good solL If you cannot
get garden soil make a trip to. the wood
and bring back a basket of the black? rsoil
found there. Mix this with about an,
equal quantity of sand and then mix in
enough ordinary soil from the bark yard
or a nearby lot to give enough to fill
the box to the right height Plants such,
as geraniums and some pretty runniu
vine, like the Wandering Jew, can ta
bought at a florist's or seed can be, sown.
Do not undertake too elaborate, a box gar
den. A few simple plants will be just a
pretty and success will be surer. For a.
box three to four feet long I would, rue
gist three geraniums arranged in a tot?
in the middle. In tho back would, be
planted nasturtiupu; In front petunias
Both of these plants should be thinned,
out to stand four or five inched apart
when the seedlings are a couple of Indie
tall. On the edges can be put acme vin
such as Wandering Jew or. vine. B
sure to water well, not merely tba u?
race, out so uuu me wier wis, mh
through. Keep the blossoms out T Mti
soon as tney start to wuner aaa sbmpj
prevent went sains ta bovu.
Thank you. kindly, friend Joim
ram..
boys ahb ants.
If yon -waai earn sr atkafi
athool and n saituAr, wp
Vutair mmnm.