6
aVEffiaTCr EEDGER-PHIL'ADEL'PHIA', SATtfEDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 1916
"NOWADAYS EVERYBODY HAS TWO BUSINESSES," SAYS BIRSKY,
"HIS REGULAR BUSINESS AND THE MOVING PICTURE BUSINESS
All Except the Feller
in the Cheap Candy
Business' Z a p p
Points Out, Who
Misses the Pennies
andNickels
"And tho Regular Theayter
Business," Adds Birsky,
Where on First Nights the
"50-Ccnt Gallery and Bal
cony Is Empty Excopt for
Ushers and Reporters With
False Mustaches and Smoked
Glasses Which Was Barred
Out by the Management"
Tho Loquacious Friends Thon Dis
cuss the Ethics of Motion Picture
Making and the High Sulfides
Paid Actors Who Havo to Jump
From a 600-Foot ClilT to Avoid
tho Sheriff or Fall Gracefully Out
o an Automobile Running Thirty
Miles an Hour Half n Dozen
Times n Day
T MET Sam Polongin in the sub-
way this morning," Barnett Zapp,
the waist .manufacturer, said, as with
tho aid of his thumb and a quart of
gravy which remained from his por
tion of ffcfuelltc Miltz mit Farfel, he
demonstrated the capillarity of a slice
of rye bread.
"And how is the herring business?"
Louis Birsky, the real cstater asked.
"What do you mean the herring
business?" Zapp demanded. "The herr
ing business is now a side issue for
Sam. Him and J. Schlapp of Katz
berg & Schlapp in the pants business
has formed the Charoses Fillum Com
pany and next week they are going to
release their first fillum by the name,
'Tho Fatal Murder.' "
"Tho way it looks nowadays," Bir
sky said, "everybody has got two
businesses his regular business and
tho moving picture business."
"All except tho feller in the cheap
candy business," Zapp said. "There
' ain't nothing in tho cheap candy busi
j ness no more, Birsky, on account if a
lady gives her 6-year-old boy five
cents he should buy himself a taffy on
a stick, y'understand, ho goes right
away to a moving pictures instead
and blows in the nickel to see 'Thou
Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's
Wife,' a feature fillum in five reels."
"Not alone cheap candy," Birsky
said, "but every business is feeling the
effects' of the moving picture business
a few businesses favorable, like the
delicatessen and lunchroom business,
which the nearest some married men
has got to a home-cooked dinner since
the moving pictures started is a half
& pound of sliced luncheon bolony mit
Kartoffel Salad. Then there is the
spectacle business, which while in
Rain be
Jircn
larion
Everybody!-Everywhere!
N
JUST WHAT IS A NEWSPAPER?
Dear Children The most wonderful Institution in tho world is not a
powder factory or a toy shop or the insldo of a churn, but a newspaper office.
Tho word "newspaper" is made up of "news" and "paper." As you all
know that paper is mado out of rags or wood, we will pass on to tho word
"news," which is mado up of north, east, west and south, that is, tho first
letter of each.
A newspaper is but an enlarged form of what Mrs. Patrick Gllhoull says
to Miss Martha Johnson over the back fence. While what Mrs. G. says to
Miss J. may only be of interest to themselves or their immediate neigh
borhood, a newspaper prints the news of the entire world.
The news in tho paper which is of most interest to you is that which
concerns yourself. Everybody looks to seo his or her name in tho paper
(except me). Next, you like to see the names of your family, your neighbors,
the Mayor of your city, the Governor of your State and so on up to the
President of the United States and the heads of tho foreign Governments.
If you have been in a department store you havo seen how it is divided
up into different sections. So the city is divided into different divisions, each
covered by a man who looks out for tho news of that particular section of
the city.
No one has ever decided exactly what news Is. One paper will regard
a certain event as of extraordinary importance and put the news of it on
tho first page, while another newspaper will put it where no one can see it.
I will talk to you Monday a little more about a newspaper so that you
may feel a kindly interest in the Evening Ledger as well as your club news.
FARMER SMITH, Children's Editor, Eveninq Ledger.
Farmer Smith's Bug Book
THE LADY BUG'S GARDEN
Doctor Beetle crawled slowly up tho
steps of the Lady Bug's bungalow and
gave the doorbell a vigorous pull.
He was quite sore from the acci
dent, n which he had been hurt. Miss
Matilda Dinah June Buggerino an
swered the door, making a curtsey.
"ft your beautiful mistress in?"
asked the doctor, trying to bow, but
4 UiV WAI-U.NK?
t
By MONTAGUE GLASS
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"Maybo
former times ladles whoso husbands
made from thirty dollars a week down
used to get housemaid's knee from
keeping the flat looking as neat as a
pin, y'understand, they have now got
to be fitted with glasses for eye-strain
from watching moving pictures every
afternoon up to five minutes before
6 or five minutes before whatever time
the husband comes home."
"Well, there's one business moving
pictures ain't improved none," Birsky
said, "and that's tho regular theayter
business. Even on first nights now
adays tho 60-cent gallery and bal
cony is empty excepting thg ushers
and a couple of dozen reporters with
false mustaches and smoked glasses
which was barred out by the manage
ment for claiming that the Follies
should ought to be a stag. The the
ayter managers is kicking something
terrible about the way the moving pic
tures is eating into their business,
Zapp."
"Sure, I know," Zapp said, "and
they are their own worst competitors,
Birsky. It's like if all the saloon
keepers would become temperance
lecturers because they seen a chanco
to make a little money on the sido
and then complained there was no
more profit in the liquor business,
y'understand. Every theayter man
ager has got also a chain of moving
picture houses. They are killing the
hen that laid the golden eggs."
"That's all right, too," Birsky re
torted, "but compared with the golden
eggs which moving pictures is laying
tho old-time theayter was a rooster,
Zapp. And not only is the moving
ews an
hesitating on account of his sore
head.
"She is waiting for you in the par
lor," answered the maid.
When the doctor and the Lady Bug
were seated, he asked her, "Are you
going to have a garden this year?"
"It is early to talk of that yet. Tho
only garden I have now is my heart
garden,"
"Your WHAT?" The good doctor
forgot that his head was sore in the
excitement.
"Why, my dear doctor, in the winter
time I have a heart garden, I have
a beautiful white house in the centre
of my garden which I call 'The House
of Gladness,' because the Bun shines
on all sides of it, north, south, east
and west, also inside and out.
i "To the north I have planted seeds
I of kindness, after I have found the
t hearts that need them.
"On the south side of the house I
(have planted tho seeds of thought-
JV
JKmKKm
the feller that works the camera wasn't
picture fellers making big money, but
they ain't got to invest not near as
much capital as a regular theayter
manager. Take this here Bclasco, for
instance, which he specializes on re
elastic shows with telephone switch
boards, restaurants and doctors' of
fices, and supposing, for instance, he's
got a restaurant in it, y'understand,
then every night that show plays in
New York or Grand Forks or San
dusky or wherever it happens to be,
they put on the stage a real restau
rant, with coffee machines and gas
griddles, and they broil right there
in front of the audience every day
steaks for ten or fifteen dollars, be
cause Mr. Bclasco is very artistic
that way. If he puts on a restaurant,
it's put on right; it don't make no
difference what it costs; abcr you take
a moving picture feller, and if he has
got a fillum with a restaurant in it,
all ho does is to go to a restaurant
and ask the feller that runs it ho
should allow for a five-dollar note tho
movio actors to carry on there, and
pictures is taken of it with a camera
md fertig. Then when you go to see
the fillum, understand me, they flash
on the screen:
NED DISCOVERS HIS
SISTER IN A FASH
IONABLE BROAD
WAY RESTAURANT.
and afterwards they show the fash
ionable Broadway restaurant, and on
the wall is a sign:
CHILI CON CARNE,
Ifie.
That's the difference between Mr.
lews o
THE PEN AND INK SQUAD IS HARD AT WORK
"im
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c jTrttiinar-e
Tin n
n. n.ff
pir.a
FARMER SMITH,
Evening Ledger:
I wish to become a member of
your Rainbow Club, Please send
me a beautiful Rainbow Button
free, I agree to DO A LITTLE
KINDNESS EACH AND EVERY
DAY SPREAD A LITTLE
SUNSHINE ALL ALONG THE
WAY:
Name ,.......,
Address ...,,, ,,.,
Age ,
School I attend
fulness thoughtfulness for others.
These have to be helped along with
an occasional sprinkling of kind acts,
which help wonderfully."
Before tho Lady Bue could tell
any more about her wonderful gar
den, the telephone bell rang and who
DO you think it was?
"You must tell me more about your
wonderful garden," said the good doc
tor as he went out the door. '"i
cZXEbil I f ir
1 y J
?j jr
Ll li Jit JtbS
looking."
Bclasco and moving plcturo fellers.
What do they care about being artistic
if it's going to cost an extra ten
dollars, Zapp? All they want is to
keep the expenses down."
"That's where you make a big mis
take," Zapp declared. "Moving pic
ture fellers is eaten up with expenses.
For instance, tho wages which moving
picture fellers pays to their actors is
something terrible. Fivo hundred a
week is small already."
"Well, why not?" Birsky retorted.
"Look what a moving picture actor is
got to do to earn his money. We will
say, for example, that he goes to work
at 9 o'clock. At half past 9 ho goes
up to Central Park and falls out of
an oitcrmobile running 30 miles an
hour. Tho first time he falls out,
maybe, the feller that works the
camera wasn't looking, so ho'u got to
fall out again. This time somebody
moves tho camera, so he falls out a
third time, and one way or another
they keep that actor falling out of
an oitermobile going 30 miles an hour
from half past 9 to lunch time. Sup
posing he does get fivet hundred dol
lars a week. Is that a life? I ask
you."
"Just the same, it's a lot of money
to pay," Zapp said, "and furthermore,
nil the moving picturo actors gets
contracts for a year already."
"But what is such contracts worth?"
Birsky asked. "If a moving picture
feller wants to get rid of such a con
tract, all he has got to do is to get tho
party of the second part to play Ned
in a fillum where Ned escapes from
tho sheriff by leaping on horseback
go
L
t r armer D
L-L-nH 1 II XWVH
a'e
Our Postofllce Box
Lena Kachoorin, South 7th street,
whose picture will appear shortly in
our gallery, has. an announcement to
make that will bo of great interest to
small artists. Watch for it I Mat
thew Palmer, North Broad street,
wants tho Rainbows to, try to mako
100 words out of George Washing
ton's name. He has done this and
anxiously awaits the news of others
accomplishing the same feat. Let us
hear about it, Icy days afforded lots
of opportunity for "Rainbow pledge
acts." Angela Devereux, Oxford
street, noticed that horses were slip
ping on a certain part of the street
near her home, and she and her sister
carried a "whole tubful of ashes and
sprinkled them all over the slippery
place so that the poor horses wouldn't
fall.
Another brand new member is
Harry Werkel, Jr., who comes from a
brand new town, Boyergford, Ps,
My, how we SJ$wl
from n cliff BOO feet high, y'under
stand, and tho widow enn frnmo tho
contract and hang it in tho front
parlor as a sowveneer of tho two
Weeks when her husband olav ha
sholom used to mako fivo hundred
dollars a week."
Zapp sighed heavily.
"I got a designer which has mo
under a thrco yenrs' contract since
last Tuesday already," ho said, "and
if I could hire Maxlno Elliott for a
model and C. M. Schwab for a sales
man, I couldn't get rid of that mur
derer's designs for tho cost of tho
linings nlono. Thero'a big money in
it for somebody who could persuado
that Roaher to play in a fillum whero
Ned gets locked in a burning ranch
by tho Mexicans for a thousand dollars
a week, I would pay two weeks' sal
ary out of my own pocket, and if thoy
nln't got a ranch to burn I would oven
echenok tho moving plcturo concern a
house out in Borough Park which I
got vacant on my hands since 1913."
"Mnybo you think such a thing ain't
possiblo that a waist designer should
get a Job as a moving picture actor?"
Birsky said. "Believe me, Zapp, the
last thing in tho world which is nec
essary in the moving picture business
is experience In particular tho actors
and the peoplo which write tho scen
arios. You remember in tho old days,
Zapp, that everybody thought he could
sell clothing. Well, nowadays every
Schlemicl thinks he could be a moving
picture actor, and most of them are.
It's tho same way with writing tho
scenarios. Take any retail dry
goods concern today, and everybody
from the cash girls to the store super
intendent is writing scenarios on tho
side. Also, Zapp, if you go into a
street car and the feller opposite to
you is talking to himself, y'under
stand, you might think he's a lunatic,
"He goes right away to a moving
pictures."
Tm lllll ML II
mM to? v $
tn 8 Rainbow Club
mi
'2.POUNJET5.
HONOR ROLL
For the Week Ending February 12
Matthew Palmer, N. Broad st.
Austin Church, Mauch Chunk, Pa.
Arthur WeisB,.Penbryn, N, J,
Ettor Montefusco, S. Clarion st.
Lillian Cunning, Paulsboro, N. J,
Elizabeth Smith, Gray's aye.
Spartaco Donate, S. 10th st.
Prosparo Donato, S, 10th st.
George Tanguny, Arch st.
Madeline Cuneo, Salter st.
Do .You Know This?
Beginning Saturday, March 11, and
continuing each Saturday following,
.the six children whose names appear
on the Honor .Roll will be awarded
cash prizes. First. prize, $1; second
prize, 50 cents; the four other prizes,
25 cents each. Beginning Monday,
February 28, the answers of all ques
tions of "Do You Know This," will
entitle the ir writers to compete in this
ttoner tt?u $!?,
Illustrations
n - r
"If you seo a man stand still
Zapp, but as a matter of fact he ain't
crazy by from three to ten dollars, on
account he is doping out a scenario
which ho would sell for somewheres
around that price to a moving picturo
concern. Furthermore, if you seo a
man stand still on the sidewalk and
mako mark3 on an old envelope with
a pencil, that ain't no sign that he's
trying to figure how it could bo he is
overdrawn at tho bank two dollars
and forty-five cents. No, Zapp. A
feller could mako a good living now
adays collecting old envelopes and
selling 'em to people to make memo
randums of scenarios on."
"Abcr how do they do it?" Zapp
exclaimed. "I could no more write a
scenario and get away with it as a
check for a million dollars."
"That's becauso you ain't never
tried to write a scenario," Birsky said.
"All you've got to do is to take a play
like 'Hamlet,' for instance, and you
call Hamlet Ned nnd the King Mexi
can Louis. Then you dictate the main
points to a stenographer and send it
to a moving picture concern which
was formerly in the plumbing supply
business or children's kneo pants, and
you'ro bound to get away with it,
Zapp, because the only plays them
fellers knows anything about is shows
EXTRA;!!
CENSUS TAKER VISITS RAINBOW EAND
RAINBOW LAND, Feb. 23. According to tho latest official
census, there are 23,000 citizens in Rainbow Land. This count In
cludes ACTIVE citizens only I
ARTISTS FORM RAINBOW DRAWING CIRCLE
' PHILADELPHIA, Feb. 20. Millie Zerillo, of South 18th street,
has organized a band of nine Rainbow artists. All of their works
will be submitted to the Rainbow art department for publication.
VsPrlze
The writers of the following answers
won prizes in tho Rainbow Club prize
contest which closed February 8, On
account of the peculiar nature of the
answers, no names are attached to
them:
1. What I like about my school.
Teacher, companions and pupils,
2. What I dislike about my school.
Unpleasant pupils.
S. What I like about my horned
Father, mother, brothers and sister.
. 4. What I dislike about my home.
Nothing.
6. What I suggest to bring my
home and. school closer together, A
home library, that is, interesting books
at home which will help me in my
school work.
1. What I like about my schools
I like my school because everything is
so comfortable in it. Every morning
I go to school with my books in my
hands, just as if I was going to work
with my tools. It is so nice to tut
on my thinking cap and work with
a good will. The sunshine is never
kept out of our room. In school we
have singing every day, .which is
good exercise for us. We also have
gymnastics every day, I like my
school becauso it educates me and
:ehea me what is right,
2 What I dislike about sit &ekoaU
by BRIGGS
t
on tho sidewalk and mako marks."
they used to take their customer! V
see, and if you are trying to sell
customer goods, you naturally doa't!
take him to see 'Hamlet.' Am I right
or wrong?" f
"You don't take him to a mavini
pictures, neither," Zapp said. J
"I know you don't," Birsky replied, i
"Asking a customer to go to a the-','
aytcr and then taking him to a mot-';
ing pictures, Zapp, i3 tho equivalence t
of inviting him to lunch and then 5
blowing him at a drug store to an en
chocolate with malted milk."
"At that, there's lots of people"
makes a luncheon off of chocolate "
malted milk," Zapp said.
"They're welcome, for all of me,"
Birsky said, "but so long as I've got
tho price I would stick to soupttclf,
dessert and coffee, and I'm the 'twas
way about going to a show. When"I
go broke, I'll be a moving picture fn,u'
too, Zapp, but as it stands, when I y
feel like taking in a theayter I wtnt
to seo a show which was written by 3
an author, not a truck driver. Auo,i
I like to hear an actor as well as ttCi
him, Zapp." ,1
"Me, too," Zapp agreed, "and if he'i.
got other talents besides falling out J
of an oitermobile going 30 miles n.,j
hour, Birsky, so much tho bettor."
THE WEATHER
A Rainbow
in the
Sky!!!
Letters
I do not like the teacher to tell
ioaJ
nt Tib MitMron that they
dense to learn. It makes the
i children
Wn fnUh in themselves. 4
o Tlhaf T Hi nVinllt mV hOttW'""
like my home because it is o J,3
and comfortable. My mother is WJVJ
at homo and so are the other jnemwrj
of the family.
4, What I dislike about my ho-
I dislike my homo when it i "P1"-W
and not clean and when mother J
fighting father with her tongue,
6. "What I suggest to WJ"'
school and home together, I "'
that we study our lessons just u"A
i. . An in ths echoed
to. -i.m ..v our Mny
to hear our lessons nightly (f f ,
our mother or father) after w "
them in our minds.
p-mi iiwnrmiifc" w
AUCB WXXD
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