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EVENING LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1910.
f 5
WF THE POLICE KNEW THEIR BUSINESS THEY WOULD ARREST
THE TWO FRONT
"Because," Says Birsky,
"For the Bad Effect
1 the Faces Has Got on
the Morals of the Ac
tors and Actresses"
Zapp Finds Little to Commend
in the Police Censorship of
the Russian Ballet, Except
for the Excellent Advertising
It Affords, and Birsky, for
Once, Agrees With Him
But They Fnll Out When They Dis
cuss Citizenship, Znpp Concluding
With: "When a Feller Goes to
Make a Living in Mexico, There's
Only Ono Thing Ho Should Ought
to Tnko Out Down There Not
Bitson Papers, but Life Insurance"
T SEE where the police gets after
i Hie ivuur which is running inc
Russian bnllct," Barnett Zapp said as
ihe glanced over the bill of faro in
Wasscrbaucr's restaurant.
"Some thcayter managers is very
BMnelv tTint. wnv." T.nliis nirakv. tlin
f real estatcr, said.
"Warum lucky?" Zapp demanded.
"Rpmiusg what the nolicu enlla hnH.
:? looks awful good to a whole lot of
K .AAM1n Ve 7nnn nit !-... n l.n..
needs is for the police to call it im
moral, and a counlc of orchestra seats
' Jfttim fvnnf lirMY(n. virvlif mimir ..a
uutiii .vv .s. .s..ii.u ii"v curtijr no
,' valuable as two perfect - matched
i e in j tf - i
pcans irom iu carats apiece, uirsKy
Sife said. "The next time I cot ronod in
'(for such a thing I would go to an
optician not a speculator and buy a
pair of hundred-dollar field glasses,
land stand up for a dollar in the back
f of the gallery. I could save a lot of
'money that way."
"And was it so bad like the police
! iid?" Zapp asked.
imrii tmi ii ...... ii r :..i... u j
1UU WUUIUI1 L IU1I1K II, lO IOOK !1 a
(policeman what a delicate disposition
UV... l.1-l J.I-!-l- !i. A- ,-1- l.
jjuch a feller has got. A New York
'Doliceman will cot red nvnr somn-
i thing in a thcayter which for years
.respectable young fellers in the old
country has been taking their mothers
to see and neither of 'cm turned a
Ifcair, y'undcrstand. Also ' down at
Uoney Island a policeman will hide his
face and holler for the police because
Net Paid Rainbow
Circulation 20,000 Sunbeams!
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PfEPfiHDtESS
Farmer Smith's Frog Book
tDR. BULL FROG KEEPS QUIET
F'uWhat are you so still about?" ask-
Bd Billy Cricket of Dr. Bull Frog one
Urnoon; in fact, the afternoon fol
lowing the day when the good people
I' Progville played a joke on Dr.
gull Frog.
i "Don't you know that the sitrn of
pjarra in Frogville is SILENCE and
Everywhere else in the world it is
IKOISE?"
No, I didn't," answered Billy,
"Sh-e-e-e! Sh-e-e-e!" whispered the
Rood doctor.
MTT, i ..... .. . if.
?.- ie(i me wnai is is an aoout,
'ted the Cricket.
"Well," began Dr. Bull Frog, softly.
By MONTAGUE GLASS
"They would arrest the two
a lady has got on a bathing suit which
if one of them actresses wore it in
a Follies where they walk across
planks over the heads of the so-called
two-dollar scats, y'undcrstand, com
pared with the other ladies in the
show you would think she was dressed
for starting out in an open oitermo
bile to call on her husband's frommcr
relations."
"Abcr was the show so bad like the
police said?" Zapp inquired once more.
"Well, I'll tell you," Birsky re
peated: "when the police receives a
letter that a show is immoral and
they should please look the matter up
and oblige, Zapp, they try to put
themselves in the place of the average
theaytorgocr; but the only thing is,
they got an idee that people which
goes most to the thcayter was never
in such a place before in their lives.
In particular, when it comes to n
show like the Russian ballet where
the orchestra scats would cost five
dollars apiece at the box office if they
was for sale there, the police thinks
that excepting the ushers everybody
News and
Sketches
o Join Tin
ftv Kyve""-
s r ... .
- imatw
V m r4
'vivar
nrrfcySr-
"It is this way. The folks in Frog
ville know that I have the deepest
voice of any one and they look to me
to keep up a noise when all is well
and they expect me to SHUT UP
when there is any danger,"
"Is that why you are so still?" ask
ed the Cricket.
"Yes, because I know Rover, the
big dog, is coming down here this
afternoon, and I know that if he goes
splashing in the big pond he will
frighten the folks almost to death.
I'm keeping still and "
Just then Dr. Bull Frog looked up
and saw Rover coming toward the
other side of the big pond and he
scooted.
ATTENTION! GIRLS AND
BOYS
If YOU want to earn pin
money after school and on Sat
urdays, write a letter to
Farmer Smith, Room 101,
Evening Ledger.
FOB SALE
f,'.jrLifiio iV num. tor ti sow
911 g$
v u
ROWS OF
ft
front rows on looks alone."
in the thcayter is visiting New York
for the first time from a place where
they still got an idee that dolmans is
the latest up-to-the-minute design in
women's outer garments, y'undcr
stand, and not being experienced in
posters by this here Bakst, they don't
know whether it'3 Ben Hur or David
the Shepherd King till the curtain
goes up and shows the inside of the
harem with all the ladies not yet
dressed to receive company."
"Naturally people from the country
seeing such a thing would get a
Schrcck," Zapp commented.
"They would if they was there," Bir
sky said, "but actresses and actors is
got to go a long way to shock a New
York audience. In fact, Zapp, if the
police Knew their business they would
arrest the two front rows of a New
York audience on looks alone, for the
bad effect the faces has got on the
morals of the actors and actresses.
However, Zapp, supposing that the
people which goes to see the Russian
ballet is as innocent as the police
claims, Zapp, it wouldn't make no
V lews of
A LITTLE TALK ABOUT "YOU"
My Dear Everybody Yesterday I started to answer the question, "What's it all about?" and did not finish.
Outside tho window, as I write, the gentle snow is falling. What's it all about?
You!
The snow coming down acts as a warm blanket for the wheat seed in the ground. That little flake will keep
warm one tiny grain of wheat, which may be sent to the miller to be ground into flour, which is made into bread
for you!
Trains are rushing all over the world; steamships are plowing the vast deep; trolley cars are clanging up nnd
down the streets; automobiles are waiting at the corner What's it all about?
You!
If you have a ticket, you may ride on the train or .the steamship. If you have 5 cents you may use the trolley
car. If you have the money, tho automobile owners are only too glad to accommodate you.
At Washington the President is worrying lawmakers are fussing and stewing and talking. What's it all about?
You!
The President does not want to see you orphans you, my dear children of the United States. Did you ever
think of that?
Men nre writing thousands of words other men with leather lungs are hurling millions of words at us urging
preparedness, defense, nrmies and what not! What's it all about?
You, my dear children. You, my dear child.
The sun is shining; somewhere, oh! the stars are twinkling by night the ocean is rising and falling the
I brooks hurrying and scurrying all for
Millions of men are fighting, struggling, hoping, wishing, dying what's it all about?
You!
Your editor is buzzing around by day reading books by night writing out what he hopes will help you.
What's it all about?
You. FOR YOU!
And now you know what it's all about. So never ask ."What's it all about?" again, will yqu?
FARMER SMITH, Children's Editor.
FARMER SMITH,
Evening Ledger:
I wish to become a member of
your Rainbow Club. Please send
mo a beautiful Rainbow Button
free. I agree to DO A LITTLE
KINDNESS EACH AND EVERY
DAY SPREAD A LITTLE
SUNSHINE ALL ALONG THE
WAY:
Name
Address
Age
School I attend
Ella's Stepmother
(By Edna Cooper, E. Wister street.)
Once there was a girl whose mother
was dead and whose father was poor,
One night he told her that she was
too small to tend .house and that she
was going to have a stepmother,
"I shall never love her," cried Ella.
In spite of this, her father married.
Her new mother was handsome, but
wicked. She made Ella do all the
work and the child never saw the
sight of school.
One day she was sweeping the
pavement when Bhe saw a beautiful
child watching her. Finally, the
child epoke to her in astonishment.
"Why, why, I seem to reiHjmljejr you.
Ye, I m sure. J recognU! tkit
A THEATRE AUDIENCE ON LOOKS ALONE
difference anyhow, because a bnllct is
like the deef and dumb langungc,
Znpp, people has got to study It for
years before they know whnt it menns.
In fact, Zapp, if the police continues
to find this here Russian bnllet is im
moral, Znpp, you would see advertise
ments in the paper:
lkaiin to nn a iwjssian ballet
AUmi'XCi; AT IIOMI3
Now method. You pay only for tlic
clInRNim nml postage which U small
Everything Illustrated. Plain, simple,
systematic Write for free booMct
today.
"Because as it stands now, you've
got to take the police's word for it
that it's immoral. Even the fifty
cent books, which the ushers tries to
sell you, don't help you any, which I
picked up one in the aisle and read it
going homo in the subway, and I give
you my word, Zapp, that book was
jUBt so good a description of 'Within
the Law' oder 'Camillc' as it was of
the Russian ballet."
"That's because you've got to got
imagination to enjoy n ballet," Znpp
said, "and the trouble with you is,
Birsky, that you ain't got no imagina
tion." "Maybe I nin't," Birsky agreed,
"aber when the book says, 'Mrs.
Fatima Harris is the favorite wife
of Sultan CharlCs Z. Harris,' y'under
stand, and a couple of hundred young
ladies comes out and dances it for
you, for nil you understand what they
arc driving at they might just so well
be dancing: 'This thcayter with every
seat occupied, das gebe Gott, can be
emptied in three minutes. Look
around now and walk, not run,' or
that the management requests the
ladies to remove their lints. I claim to
got just so much imagination ns any
body else, Zapp, but with this here
Russian bnllet it ain't enough thnt
you should be a mind reader. You've
got to be a leg reader and that's all
there is to it."
'"Might it's because you ain't ac
quainted with the Russian langungc
maybe," Zapp suggested. "You take
a Russian ballet which nin't in the
country two weeks, y'understand, and
naturally they couldn't even talk the
English language let alone dance it."
"Then how did the police get on
thnt it was immoral?" Birsky asked.
"Probably they sent a pdlicoman
there which speaks Russian," Zapp
said. "They've got such fellers on
the police force, Birsky. There is
even policemen which can shake down
saloonkeepers in every European lan
guage, and Chinese and loschen
Farmer Smith s Rainbow Club
YOU!
ring on your finger. You are Ella,
my sister! You are the Royal Prin
cess of England!"
"What?" cried Ella. "Yes," con
tinued the other child. "Father has
searched the country for you. Mother
died several weeks ago."
"Why, my mother has been dead a
long time," put in Ella, in nstonish
ment, "and my father's at work."
"No, dear," said the beautiful child,
"those were not your real parents. You
Our Pet Column
Let me introduce Peer Gynt, Paree
and Prince Chap Tanguay, of South
4Qth street. Peer Gynt sings "Home,
Sweet Home," Paree "claps hands" for
his dinner and Prince Chan nlays the
piano. AH together they decided they j
were
Jiut quite smart enough to UiSSltmf&
wsi Wht da you thinkf JSfSt!' -'"-5& '
Bgnbows
Hakodtfth also, Birsky, and besides,
Birsky, whnt business do you got sup
porting a Russian ballet? I thought
you wns against the Allies?"
"Mc against the Allies?" Birsky cx-
i claimed. "How can you say such a
j thing? I've got just so many cus
tomers which is for the Allies as
against 'em, Znpp more oven, and I
am perfectly neuter about this here
war. Furthermore, I've been an
American sitson now going on twenty
two years, and I think that that oitcr
mobile factory out in Dctroyit is quite
right which wouldn't give jobs except
to sttsons."
"Abcr if everybody done the snmo
thing, Birsky, what's going to become
of the greenhorns?" Znpp asked. "It
takes five years to get to be a sitson,
and in the meantime they must got to
starve. Is thnt the idee? It's like all
them advertisements you sec for ex
perienced salesmen. If every con
cern done the same thing, Zapp, a
snlcsmnn would got to stnrt in ns a
new beginner with at least five years
experience ns a snlcsmnn."
"Or else lie nbout it," Birsky snid.
"Aber you couldn't lie about being
n sitson," Znpp continued. "You've
got to show the pnpers."
"Well, mnybe this here oitermobile
concern says that they wouldn't pro
mote nobody unless he becomes a sit
son," Birsky admitted.
"Even so," Birsky went on, "my
idee is thnt a feller should become a
sitson like he gets married. He
should do it for love, because if a
"They sent a policeman there
which speaks Russian."
were stolen years ago by a pirate and
you are really a princess. You must
come home with me."
So Ella took off her dirty apron,
threw down her broom and put her
thin little hand in her sister's. They
went to the castle where she was very
happy. Later her father died and
she became Queen of England. She
was always good to the poor.
The Japanese Dolly
(By Norma Collier, Shunk street.)
Once upon a time there was a little
Japanese dolly named Ko Chung Kce.
He lived in a dollhouse with some
other dollies that were very curious
about him.
"What funny ears he has?" sneer
ed Miss Rag. "Yes," said Miss Wax,
"just as if they would fly off of his
head."
"Just look at his hair, Why, it's
only a pinch of hair and "
Just then little Alma popped in!
"Fie, dollies," said she, "your man
ners are bad, they make me feel sad,
you ought to be ashamed." Then all
the dollies hung their heads and said,
"We are ashamed and you have taught
us a lesson."
WANTED
H
Illustrations
Vii
"A policeman will hide his
feller gets married for money and his
wife should Gott soil Huetcn go broke,
ho ain't going to stay faithful to her
very long, and if a feller becomes n
sitson to get a job, y'undcrstand, all
such a feller needs is to lose his job
and right away he becomes just so
good an American sitson as von
Papen or the Hamburg-American
Line. Then if we should have to go
to war and would got enough of them
oitermobile factory sitsons around,
you wouldn't bo able to hear yourself
think for the powder mills exploding."
"That's neither here nor there,"
Birsky said. "There's only one way
to look at it: if a feller makes his
living in a country, he should be a
sitson."
"Is that so?" Zapp retorted. "Well,
if all the Americans living in Mexico
would of taken out sitson papers there
what would of happened to 'em?"
"The same as happened to 'em
when they didn't," Birsky said. "But,
anyhow, Zapp, might if all the Ameri
cans which went to Mexico would of
become Mexican sitsons, they would of
Americanized the country maybe, nnd
EXTRA!!-
RAINBOW RUMOR WORRIES WALL STREET
NEW YORK, Feb. 19. A report from West Philadelphia states
that a certain James Taylor, a new captain of finance, living in
Sansom street, has organized a band of 23 young men whose object is
to make quick money. Wall Street is upset.
ANOTHER RAINBOW BRANCH
FITZWATER STREET, Feb. 19. Carrie Coie has founded a
branch Rainbow Club of 35 members.
Our Postoffice Box
More talk about valentines, but your
editor just can't help it because he re
ceived such beautiful ones. Let me
tell you about them. From Marizita
McKeon, Merion, and Margaret Dona
telli, Morris street, came very sweet
hand-drawn February 1-1 messages.
From Anna Fogel, Dudley street, and
Gertrude Segal, South Cth street, came
ready-made valentines with little
white doves and roses and ribbons and
all the lovely things that go to make
a valentine just as pretty as it can be.
Raymond Clements, Rising Sun ave
nue, sent n dear little February 14
poem, Last, but not least, were the
valentines that little folks cut and
pasted together and mailed to your
editor. There were all manner of
pretty hearts cut in the very cleverest
way you could imagine and they came
from the willing hands of Rose
Gambaro, Latona street; Anna Marie
Dell Olivastro, Pennsgrove, N, J., and
of Millie and James Maruzzi, Wash
ington ayenue. Many thanks to these
thoughtful Rainbows!
The postman brought us many very
good drawings and stories about
Lincoln, but some of them arrived a
bit too late to be published on that
great man's birthday. We appreciate
extremely the splendid effort that
went into this work and we wish to
thank kindly the following little artists
and authors: Joseph McCollfui, Kim
ball street; H. Brenner, Walnut street;
Mary Kauffman, Lombard street; Hy-
man Hoffman, South 6th street, and a
mysterious person who called himself ,
"The Unknown."
The following children sent in the
best copies of: the drawing of the bors
by John Foley, Jr FitegeraW street,
vffekfe eard ia th .dub iw Fh
ruary 10: TUoaaas, J. Pwiwiw, P
by BRIGGS
face nnd holler for the police."
instead of revolutions down thero
they would now got direct primaries
and refcrendums and conventions and
all that Stnss, and instead of bull
fighting they would got moving pic
tures and vaudeville."
"Then take it the other way about,"
Zapp insisted. "Supposing all tho
Russians which comes over here be
comes sitsons and starts in to Rus
sianize the country, would we be bet
ter off if instead of Congressmen and
conventions we would got grand dukes
and pogioms, and instead of moving
pictures and vaudeville wo would got
Russian ballets, for instance."
"Russian ballets!" Birsky cried.
"T'phooce!"
"Then what the devil you arc talk
ing nonsense, Birsky?" Zapp asked.
"Aber the United States is a real
country," Birsky protested, "while
Mexico that's something else again."
"You bet your life it is," Zapp said,
"and when a feller goes to make a
living in Mexico, Birsky, there's only
one thing he should ought to take out
down there not sitson papers but
life insurance."
THE WEATHER
Brighter and Brighter
and
Brighter ! !
street; E. White, Hermitage street,
Manayunk; Mabel Tulina, South Car
lisle street; Lewis Clayton, Spruce
street, nnd Bertha Secovitch, North
7th street
The little Koenig girls, Miriam and
May, of North 4th street, wrote lovely
little "thank you" notes about their
Rainbow buttons, so did Edward Brian,
Brown street, and so did so many little
girls and boys that I wish I had you
all down here this very minute to let
you read every one of their letters.
DO YOU KNOW THIS?
1. When and where was Georgs
Washington born? (6 credits.)
2. In what war did he take part?
(5 credits.)
3. When and where did he die?
(5 credits.)
HONOR ROLL. .
Madeline Cuneo, Salter street.
George Tanguay, Arch street.
Elizabeth Quinn, Folcroft, Pa.
Elsie Knecht, East Ontario street
Ethel Henderson, Norwood, Pa.
Joseph Heller, North 2d street.
Oliver Collier, Shunk street.
Janet Thomas, Haddonfleld, N. J.
James Gulda, South 15th street
John Sherman, South 7th street
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