-':* ( o;4.ll)taW/t 'ltztttli-9;',Cit4i;'..
VO L. LXV
THE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER
?MIMED IVZST TVENDAY, AN NO. 8 NORTH DUEY STREET,
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OBITUARY NOtteKa hr ,•h ,vivrrt..! 2: rate!,
TRIBUTKII or REIM,. RE,0,Y11 , , ,V , t, , b• •.hragcd to
nearest inn that is still open, and let us
drink a bottle of wine together. You will
relate to me your history, and if you like
I will let you know mine. So much, how
ever, will 1 say to you beforehand. Chase
all thoughts of self murder out of your
head. lam rich, and if things be as you A CONNECTICUT STORY lIY J. W. WATSON
say, from henceforth you and your loving Deacon Joseph Jones, of Litchfield, was
daughter shall lead a pleasant life.' I a fine specimen of the old style sturdy
The old man followed the younger with- farmer, honest, conscientious, and hospi
out opposition. A few minutes later, over table to a fault, and with one leading
full glasses, the elder oegan— vanity, which was his farm, and his ability
'My history is soon told. I was a mer- to raise the finest stock in the whole of
chants clerk, but always unlucky. As I New England. In his younger days the
had nothing for inheritance, and the young deacon had commanded a company of
girl I married was poor, I was never able State troops, which had done service dur
' to commence business on my own account, ing the last war with Great Britain, and
and so remained on to old age in a depen- though he had failed, in the technical ap
' dent, subordinate position. Finally, I was plioation of the term, 'to smell gunpow
discharged o'i account of my years, and der,' yet he had received the infusion -of
then began the struggle for subsistence. a warlike spirit, and earned the title of
My wife died of trouble, and now my poor ' captain,' which, on the principle of 'once
child wearies to gain my support. 1 cannot a captain always a captain,' stuck to him,
bear to see her working herself to death and mingled with the more peaceful cogno
for rue ; therefore, it is better 1 go. Now, men of ' deacon.'
you know all.' This warlike spirit the deacon could ANOTT-WR YANKEE TRICK.
' Friend,. exclaimed the young man, never conquer, even though he had been ' The critter loves me ! 1 know she
' you are the most fortunate man I ever frequently rebuked by the good dominie loves me !' said Jonathan Doubkins, as he
encountered in my life. It is insane to I for showing so much of the church militant sat upon the cornfield fence, meditating on
call that misfortune. N o thi n g is easier lin his daily bearing ; and he could find no the course of his true love, that it was
iliari to help you. To-morrow I will make greater delight, when he could obtain an running just as Shakepoare said it did,
131) 141:l ,ind. )on ,bail be—no resistance audience, than in recalling the days of his rather roughly. 'lf Suke Peabody has
My heir. The cowing night is my last. captaincy and telling bloodless tales of taken the shine to that gawky long
lief ire this, however, 1 must sec your ' when I was out in 'l3 and 'l4.' sneaked stammerin' shy critter Gasset,
daughter, out of pure curiosity. I would Among the deacon's fine stock was a just rinse he is a city feller, she ain't the
te; ehoe S , _`(.. how One looks who really de- bull, a splendid animal, which for strength, 1 girl I took her for, that's sartin. No ! it's
serve-. the name ot woman.' size, and beauty, excited the envy and 1 the old folks ; darn their ugly pictures !
' But, youug man, what can it be that admiration of the whole country. So much 1 old Mrs. Peabody alters was a highfalutin
so early has made you unhappy l' ques- was the deacon's bull praised, that very critter, full of big notions ! and the old
' tioned the sitter, touch moved. soon its owner began to believe that he man's a regular soft-head, driven about
I believe it was the wealth which my possessed the most wonderful animal that by his wife just as our old one-eyed rooster
fattier left me. I w a s th e only sou of the ever existed, and to boast accordingly. is driven about by our cantankerous five
richest bankers in the city. My father From morning lilt night, nothing could be toed Dolkin hen. But if I don't spite
. -tied five years since, leaving me more than heard in the neighborhood of Litchfield but this fun my name ain't Jonathan. I'm
was good for rue. Sine i that time I have praises of the deacon's bull, and estimaa going down to the city, next week by the
been deceived and betrayed by every one, ,ions of its value. At last to such a pitch railroad —and when I come back, wake
without exception, with whom I have had did this estimation reach that the deacon snakes ! that's all.'
any connection. Some have pretended not content with bearing the palm from The above soliloquy may servo to give
friendship for me on account of my money ; every cattle raiser' in the county, sought, the reader some slight idea of the laud, in
others have pretended to love me on as- like Alexander, fresh worlds to conquer, the pleasant rustic village where the
count of my money ; and so it went on. and offered his bull to the competition of speaker resides.
I oft( n mingle, dressed in the garb of a the entire country. To do this properly, Mr. Jonathan Doubkins was a young
simple workman, with th e mas s es, and thus deacon Joseph issued a handbill setting farmer, well to do in the world, and look
one day because acquainted with a charm- forth in glowing lines the qualities of his ing out, for a wife, and had been paying
ing being--a young girl, to whom my bull, its size, age, weight and color, lead- his _addresses to Miss Susan Peabody, an
whole heart went out in love. I disclosed ing off with aeh .11enge to any one Tresses- only daughter of Deacon Elderberry Pea
to her neither my name nor my position. sing au animal of like size and age, to I body, of that ilk, with a fair prospect of
I longed to be loved for myself alone, and 1 hi Mg it forward, and vanquish the deacon's success, when a city acquaintance of the
for a time it appeared as if I was going to hull in a fair fight for one hundred dollars. Pcabodys, one Mr. Cornelius Gusset, who
be happy ai last, :it last. Ti, young girl Here it, was that the old warlike spirit kept a retail dry goods store in Hanover
and I, whom she still regar d e d as a simple peeped forth, and the deacon instead of street, Boston, suddenly made his appear
workman, met every afternoon in the offering to match his bull for any of those ante in the field, and commenced cutting
Marcusplatz, where we walked up and 1 qualities that go toward making go rd out the game. Dazzled with the prospect
down together, passing many happy hours. I beef, proffered the challenge for it fight- of becoming a gentleman's wife, and
One day, my girl appeared with red eyes ing quality. pestered by the importunities of her aspir
-she had been weeping—and told me we These handbills were scattered tar and lug mamma, the village beauty had begun
must part, confessing that her life belong- . wide by the aid of a peripatetic peddler, to waver, when her old lover determined
ed to another ! With these words she tore , and one of them found its way to the hands , upon a last and bold stroke to foil his:
herself from we and disappeared in the of a noted breeder of stock in the western rival. Ile went to the city, and returned ;
crowd. Her faithlessness decided my 1 part of the State, who determined on ac- of his business he said nothing, not even
destiny. Vainly did 1 rush into pleasures , cepting the challenge on behalf of a fine to the pumping maiden aunt, who kept
which so-called good society has to offer, ' young animal of his own, and making an house for him. He went not near the
but found my lost peace of soul never, attempt to fob the deacon's hundred dol- Peabodys—but labored away in his corn
never' I then determined to bring my lars. Accordingly he started with his bull field, patiently awaiting the result of his
joyless existence to a close.' 1 for the deacon's, but by some delays on machinations.
Unhappy young man !' said the elder, the road he did not reach his destination The next day Mr. Gasset was seated
wiping his eyes, 'from my whole heal t I pity until late on Saturday afternoon. Upon with the old folks and their daughter, in
- you. I roust acknowledge that I was more stating his errand he was warmly welcomed the best room of the Peabody mansion,
fortunate than you ; for 1, at leas't, was by by the deacon, and honest praise bestowed chattering as pleasantly as may be, when
two women—my w if e an d daughter—ten- upon the splendid animal he had brought the door opened, and in rushed a very
TRANSLATED FROM TIRE GERMAN. derly loved.' with him. It was too late that evening dirty and furious Irish woman.
Midnight was last, and the lights of the , will y ou g i ve me y our address, good for the trial, and the bull was accordingly 'ls it there ye are, Mr. Cornelius
vessels lying in the stream were beginning s i r , th a t I ma y conv i nce myself of the driven into the rich pasture to recruit i Cl - asset ? Como out of that before 1. fetch
to be extinguished, when two men hurried truth of your story ? It is not exactly after the journey, and his owner made free I ye, ye spalpeen ! Is it that ye promised I
from different directions towards the shorn mistrust, but I must see to believe. To- of the deacon's home. me before the presto, ye hatheu nagur ?
The elder of the two had already reached morrow I will arrange my affairs, as I have The next day being the Sabbath the Ilunnin' away from me and the children—
the strand, and was preparing to make a a l rea d y to ld you. You will re ma in in this family all set forth to church, the deacon torsakin, your lawful wedded wife, and
leap, the design of which was not to be , inn to-night, and early in the morning I surrendering his place in the family pew runnin' after Yankee gals, ye oonfiden
mistaken ; but at that instant the younger will return. Give me your word of honor to the stranger, and staying at home un- tial—'
seized him by the arm, exclaiming : that you will not leave this house until I der the plea of not feeling well. After ' Woman, there must be some mistake
, Sir, I believe you want to drown your- come back, and that you will not, in the they were well gone, the deacon, to aid in I here,' stammered Gasset, taken all aback
self !' ' meantime, speak to any one of what has dismissing the thought of the two bulls, by the charge.
6 Yon have guessed it. What is that to taken place between us.' and of the coming fight on the morrow, ' Divil a bit of mistake, ye sarpint !
you?' ' ' You have my word. Go to my dwell- got down the family bible and read a,Oh ! wirra ! wirra ! was it for the likes of
This was the a sewer spoken in the most ing, to my daughter, and you will find that chapter ; but still the bulls would mix ye that I sacked little Dennis McCarthy
angry tone. 1 have told you the simple truth. My themselves with the texts, and wander i —who loved the ground I trod on, and
' Nothing, I know. I would simply re- name is Wilhelm Siebert. Here is my ad- away with his thoughts. At lag the . all because you promised to make a lady
quest you to wait a couple of minutes, dress.' deacon could stand it no longer, and put- of me—ye dirty thief of the worruld 3
when, if you like, we will make the great With these words he handed the young ting on his hat, out he went to take one , Will ye come along to the railroad station,
journey together. Arm in arm is the best ma n a p a p er giving the locality of his look at the fierce monster that was on the where I left little Patrick, bekase he was
way of dying.' dwelling. It lay in a suburb inhabited by morrow to carry away the laurels from his I too sick with the small pox to come any
With these words the younger extended the poorer class, at some distance from the bull and the hundred dollars, or leave him furder, or will ye wait till I drag ye I'
his hand to the elder, whose hand was not city proper. the happy victor. I ' Go—go—along,' gasped Gasset, 'Go
withheld. The former continued, in a tone ' And my name is Carl Ileums,' said There he stood in the centre of the field, and I'll follow you.'
of seeming enthusiasm— the young man. ' Take this bank note ; coal black, and shaking his fierce shaggy He thought it best to temporize.
6Sobe it ! Arm in arm! Truly I did it will last until my return.' head in defiance. The deacon gazed in ' I give you tin minutes," said the
not dream that a human he - art beat with Carl-
rang for the waiter, had the pro- admiration, and the thought crept into his virago, 'if ye ain't there it's my cousin,
mine in this last hour. 1 will not seek to prietor called, commended the old man to brain that to-morrow was a long time to Mr. Thaddy Mulgruddery, will be rather
know who you are—an honest man or a his care in suitable terms, and left the wait, and that as there was nobody to see, ye, ye thief !' And away went the unbid
villain. Come, let us begin the journey house. and no ono to tell tiles, he might as well den guest.
together !'
The elder held the young man back, Hardly had the morning broke, when give the bulls just one little turn at each Mr. Gasset was engaged in stammering
and fixing the dim, half extinguished eyes Carl found himself on his way to the other, that he might be better able to out a denial of knowledge of the virago,
suburb where lived the daughter of the old judge, and that if the contest waxed too when the parlor door again opened, a
searchingly upon the countenance of his arm he could drive 'off his own animal • black-eyed, hatched face woman, in a
man with whom he had became acquainted w
companion, exclaimed — without trouble. No sooner thought than flashy silk gown and a cap with many rib
under. such peculiar circumstances. It was
6 Hold ! You seem to me too young ; o
uot, without some trouble that he found done, and the deacon stealthily let down • bons perched on the top of her head, inva
end your life by suicide. A man of your
the house. It was in a poor situation. the bars that led into the field ded the sanctity of the parlor.
years has still a brilliant, alluring fortune and proceeded to drive his bull ; but the 'ls he here?' she cried, in a decided
in his grasp--' The young man knocked, opened the door, stranger bull in an instant saw the en.. French accent. Then she added with a
and involuntarily stepped back
' Brilliant!' answered the young man,
What did see 2 ' trance open, and without delay rushed scream, 'Ah ! mon dieu le voila ! Zere
scornfully. ' What have Ito hope for in
young
The girl whose inconstancy had through, and in quicker time than it takes he is. Traitor ! monster ! Vat for you
the world full of wickedness, falsehood,
made his life unbearable stood before him to relate tackled the deacon's bull. run away from me 3 Die two, tree years
treachery and unhappiness 1 Come, quick!'
She growt h ' pale—very pale ; -but he , The fight was terrible, and the deacon I navair see you—navair, and my heart
6 You are still young. You must have
knewher at w t e first glance. It was delighted. For a while he forgot his Sab- broke very bad entirely.' •
had very sorrowful experiences to make
Bertha, whom he once hoped to call his bath-breaking in the keen enjoyment of ' Who are you I' cried Gasset, his eyes
life thus insupportable to you.' the fight, and the belief that his bull strained out of his head, and shivering from
c I despise mankind.' Own.
would be the victor, but at length the head to foot.
`Without exception r At his appearance the young girl sprang
6 stranger began to have the best of it, and 'He ask me who I am'? 0, you vat
Without exception.' towards him, overcome with joy, holding
the deacon fearin ..
the defeat of his favor respectable gentlehomme ! hear what he
' Well, then, perhaps you have now out her little hand. The young
man ite, took a hand in
the fight himself. He ask. Who lam per/ide .' all --1 am your
found a man whom you will not necessarily waved her back, exclaiming—
' tore a rail from the fence and rushed at wife !
despise. I have, believe me, during m y ' You did not expect to see me 1' the black bull, punching and pushing him 6 I never saw you before—so help me
whole life, lived an honorable man.' The young girl sank into a seal, and ,in the rear, and striving to drive him baok Bob,' cried Gasset ener ' 11
getica y.
Iteally ! T That is highly interesting! h is-
•
,It IBA pitf'did not - ' Don't you swear !' said old Deacon
make year :tcquain- with her hands. 1
.... a . ac
tanoe'earlier !' taunnits object only increased the ani- Peabody, ,if you do, I'll kick you into fits.
4 Are you Wilhelm Siebert's daughter I' mal's rage , until
1 with one fierce lunge he I won't have no profane or vulgar language
' Liitve me W. die alone, -young' man. '
Believe
Live on. me, time heals all . asked the young man, quite coldly, after' laid his antagonist on the ground, pierced in my house.'
a pause. . I him through the chest with one thrust of 'Oh bless you, respectable olct man ;
Cents pri
COMMUNICATIONs e. t: r•.l. 1,111 tlu, cla!rns nt h•r
office, ,Or., to be el...rzed tli «pit,. per lib e
December IF,II, 41, , Ne
urtrtnlmorkly actrptefl by the tit, krsi;rned, Publi,het • in
the Olti of Laucel.ter, to.
JNo. A. 111 VsT A N P k..:amiver ,f lb nil,
PE kIVOL briliy 1- 11,,A/y Erpo,
JOHN BA Elt'
SANDER; , JN int.lhgenver.
N. A WYLIE, 11",21.1y
WM. Is WILLY, doh Print,.
THOMAS,
TLIF, BEAUTIFUL SNOW
Could anything be more affecting than the follow
ing t Its author's name is unknown, but he deserves
a high place iu the poetic ranks
Ohl the snow, the beautiful snow,
Filling the sky and earth below ;
Over the house tops, over the street,
Over the heads et the people you moot,
Dancing,
iunu ing along;
Beautiful snow ! it can do no wrong,
Flying to kiss a fair lady's chock,
Clinging to lips in a frolicsome freak.
Beautiful snow from the heaven above
Pure as an angel, gentle as love' '
Oh! the snow, the beautiful 81101 , 1,
How the flakes gather and laugh as they go'
Whirling About in its maddening fun,
It plays in its glee with every one,
Chasing,
Laughing,
Hurrying by;
it lights un the face, and it sparkles the eye
And even the dogs, with a bark soda bound
Snap at the crystals that eddy around ,
The town is alive, and ns heart in IL glow.
To welcome the coming of beautiful snow '.
How wild the crowd goer swaying along,
Hailing each other with humor and song
How the gay :dodges like meteors dash by,
Bright fur the moment, thou t „ e y e
Ringing,
Dashing they go,
Over the crust of the beautiful snow;
anew so pure when it falls from the sky,
To be trampled in mud by the crowd passing by,
To be trampled and trucked by thousands of leer,
Till it blends with the filth in the horrible street
Once 1. was pure as the snow —but 1 fell!
Fell like the snow-flakes, trout heaven to hell
Fell to be trampled as filth of the street.
Fell to be scuffed, to be spit on and beat;
Pleading,
Cursing,
Dreading to
Selling my soul to whoever would buy,
Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread,
Rating the living and fearing the dead ;
Alereitul God! have I fallen so low T
And yet I was once like the beautilul snow
THE SUNNY SIDE
When darkest hours of sadness
Come stealing o'er the heart,
When false ones dare deceive thee,
Aud from thy side depart;
Bear up beneath the anguish,
And breast the sinking tide—
Fur u'er the vale of shadows,
Uh there's a sunny side.
Let early ties be broken,
Whichever thou held'st dear;
It matters but a little
Tne trial how severe;
For there are many others
In whom thou oaust confide,
Where'er thy sad heart pinoth—
Yes, there's a aunny aide.
Our lifetime here is fleeting,
it passeth soon away,
Like fancy's dreamy visions,
And Autumn's wan decay.
Then take thou hold in earnest
Before though thou hast tried
Life is made up of struggles,
There's yet a sunny side.
This wide world may look dreary,
The tempest loudly roar,
While every golden moment
The life-boat wafts to shore.
Delay not in thy efforts
Against the wind and tide,
To do what thou would'st have to do
Upon the sunny side.
WEARY OF LIFE
wounds, and there are men of honor yet
to be found in the world.'
4 Now, if you take this view, why are
you hurrying so fast to give your farewell
to the world ?'
! I am an old, sickly man, unable
to make a livelihood ; a man who cannot,
will not longer see his only child, his
daughter, blighting her youth, and' labor,.
ing day and night to support him. No, I
would be an unfeeling father, I would be
barbarous, if I lived on thus !'
6 How, sir, have you a daughter who
does this for you asked the, young man,
surprised.
And with what endurance, with what
love, does she sacrifice herself for me.
She works for me, she goes hungry for me,
and has only the tenderest words of love
—a sweet smile for we always !'
' And you want to commit suicide
Are you mad ?'
Shall I murder my daughter? The
life which she is now loading in her certain
death,' answered the old man, in despair.
-. 6 Good sir, come go with rue to the '
"THAT COUNTRY IS THB MOST PBOSPBBOUS WILMA LABOR 00MIL&NDS TH3 ORNATIBT RWWAND." BUCHANAN
LANCASTER CITY, PA., TUESDAY MORNING, JANUARY 19, 1564.
I am,' answered the young maiden,
very timidly.
And who and where is that other; to
whom, as you told me at parting your life
belonged ?'
That other is my father,' answered the
young girl, looking up to the young man's
face with a glance which spoke the tender
est love.
With lightning quickness the truth
dawned upon him ; the scales fell from
his eyes, and suddenly all was clear
Speechless he rushed to Bertha, took
her in his arms and pressed her to his
breast.
'Come to your father !' he faltered to the
young girl.
My father ? Oh ! I forgot, where is
he ? Ile has been out all night. 1 have
watched for him in tears the long night
through.'
Your father is safe—he is with me,'
was Carl's answer, as he hurried the young
girl onward through the streets to the arms
of her father.
A fortnight later, in the midst of the
greatest splendor, the marriage of the rich
young banker Carl Thomas to Bertha Sie
bert took place.
THE DEACON'S BULL
his sharp horns, and laid him dead in a❑
instant.
No sooner had he finished his work in
front, than, like a good soldier, he made
for the enemy in the rear ; and the deacon
made for the opening in the fence with the
bellowing monster close at his heels.
Away they went, deacon and bull,
straight .for the house; the first puffing'
and blowing under his fearful speed, the
last pawing and bellowing iu a manner to
strike terror into firmer hearts than that
of the deacon. it was a terrible race, but
the deacon won it by a few yards, just
slamming the door of the house in the
face of the . , bull, and rushing to the kitchen
for safety. In a moment he heard with
terror the blow cf the monster's head upon
the door ; a second thump and down it
went, admitting him to the hall !
The door of the parlor stood open, and
upon the wall opposite was a large mirror,
the pride of the deacon's wife and daugh
ter, and the choice piece of their house
hold goods The bull did not waste time,
but seeing his image in this glass, made 1
one rush, soattering the glass in minute
particles, and shaking the house with the
crash.
By this time the deacon had begun to
recover his wind and his presence of mind
and think of a loaded gun hanging over
the mantle in the kitchen. Rendered
desperate, he clutched the weapon and
rushed to the door of the parlor. The
bull spied him instantly and made a rush
—his last—for almost running the muzzle
of his gun into his head, the deacon fired,
and a dead bull blocked up the hall, de
luging the floor with its blood just as the
family presented themselves at the door
on their return from church.
The consternation of all may be im
agined, and the deacon had nothing for it
but to make a clean breast and confess his
Sabbath-breaking, pay the stranger for his
bull, hand over the hundred dollars, make
beef of the carcasses, and good resolutions
about bull fighting forthe future.
tell him he must come viz me—tell him.'
Sobs interrupted her utterance.
6 It's pesky bad business,' said the dea
con, chafing with unwonted fire. ' Gasset,
you're a rascal.'
Take care, Deacon Peabody ? take
care,' said the unfortunate shopkeeper.
I remarked you was a rascal, Gasset.
You've got and married two wives, and
that 'ere's flat burglary, if I know anything
about the Revised Statoots.'
Two wives !' shrieked the French
Half a dozen for aught I know to the
contrary,' said the deacon. Now you
clear out of my house—and go to the
station, and clear into Boston—l won't
have nothing more to do with you.'
4 But Deacon, hear me.'
I don't want to hear you, ye sarpint,'
cried the deacon, stopping his ears with
his hands ; marryin' two wives, and
comin' courtin' a third. Go long--clear
out.'
Even Mrs. Peabody, who was inclined
to put in a word for the culprit, was
silenced. Susan turned from him in hor
ror ; and in despair he fled to the railway
station, hotly pursued by the clamorous and
indignant French woman.
1 hat afternoon as Miss Susan Peabody
was walking towards the village, she was
overtaken by Mr. Jonathan Doubkins,
dressed in his best, and driving his fast
going horse before his Sunday-go to meet
ing chaise. He reined up and accosted
her :
Halloo, Suke get in and take a ride.'
Don't keer if I do, Jonathan,' replied
the young lady, accepting the proffered
seat.
say you,' said Jonathan, grinning,
that ere city feller's turned out a pooty
pup, ain't he 1'
It's dreadful if it's true,' replied the
young lady.
' You had a narrow escape, didn't ye 1'
pursued the old lover. But he want
never of no account, anyhow. What do
the folks think about it V
They hain't said a word since he
cleared out I'.
Forgot that night I rode you home
from singing school ?' asked Jonathan,
suddenly branching off.
'No I hain't,' replied the young lady,
blushing and smiling at the same time.
Remember them apples t gin you ?'
Oh, yes !'
Well they was good, wasn't they t'
'First rate, Jonathan.'
Got a hull orohard of them are kind of
fruit, Suke,' said Jonathan.
Susan was silent
G'lang !' exclaimed Jonathan, putting
the braid on the blank horse. Have
you any idea where you are going Suko /'
4 I'm going to the village.'
4 No you hain't—you are goin' along
with inc.'
4 Where to"?'
Providence ; and you don't come back
until you're Mrs. Doubkins—no how you
eau fix it.
How you talk, Jonathan
6 Darn the old folks,' said Jonathan,
putting on the string again, of 1 was to
leave you with them much longer, they'd
be tradeu you off on to some city feller
with half a dozen wives already.'
The next day, as Mr. and Mrs. Doub
kins were returning home in their chaise,
Jonathan said confidentially :
May as well tell you now, Suke, for I
haint got any secrets from you, that
Gasset never seed them women afore they
came steppin' into your house and blowed
him up. I had, though. Cost me ten
dollars--thunder ! 1 teaehed them what
to say ; and I expect the; done it well.—
Old Gasset may be a shopkeeper, but if ho
expects to go ahead of Jonathan Doubkins,
he must get up a plaguey sight earlier
mornings.'
Dreaming on Wedding Cake.
A bachelor editor, out West, who had
received from the fair hand of a bride a
piece of excellent wedding-cake to dream
on, thus gives the result of his experience :
We put it under our pillow, shut our
eyes sweetly as an infant blessed with an
easy conscience, and snored prodigiously.
The god of dreams gently touched us, and
to !in fancy we were married ! Never was
a little editor so happy. It was my love,'
dearest,' sweetest,' ringing in our ears
every moment. Oh, that the dream had
I broken off hero. But no ! some evil genius
put it into the head of our ducky to have
uddiug for dinner to please our lord.
In a hungry dream we sat down to din
ner. Well, the pudding moment arrived,
and a huge slice almost obscured from our
sight the plate before us.
'My dear,' said we, fondly, did you
make this 1'
Yes, my love, ain't it nice v
Glorious ! the best bread pudding 1
ever tasted in my life.'
4 Plain pudding, ducky,' suggested my
wife.
Oh, no, dearest ; bread pudding. I
was always fond of ' em.'
Call that bread pudding !' exclaimed
my wife, while her lips slightly curled with
contempt.
Certainly, my dear ; reckon I've had
enough at the Sherwood House to know
bread pudding, my love, by all means.'
Husband, this is really too bad. Plum
pudding is twice as hard to make as bread
pudding, and is more expensive, and is a
great deal better. 1 say this is plum pud
ding, sir !' and my pretty wife's brow flush
ed with excitement.
I My love, my sweet, my dear love,' ex
claimed we, soothingly, do not get angry
lam sure it is very good it is bread pud
ding.'
You mean, low wretch !' fiercely re
plied my wife, ' you know it is plum pud
ding !'
Then, madam, it't so meanly put to
gether and so badly burned that the devil
himself wouldn't know it. I tell you,
madam, mosNistinctly, emphatically, that
it is bread pudding, and the meanest kind
at that !'
' It is plum pudding !' shrieked my wife,
as she hurled a glass of claret in my face
—the glass itself tapping the claret from
my nose.
Bread pudding,' gasped .we, pluck to
the last, and grasped a roasted chicken by
the leg.
Plum pudding !' rose above the din, as
we had a distinct perception of feeling two
plates smashed across our head.
Bread pudding !' we groaned in a rage,
as the chicken left our hand, and, flying
with swift wings across the table, alighted
in madam's bosom.
, Plum pudding !' resounded the war
ory from the enemy, as the gravy dish took 1
us where we had been depositing our din
ner, and a plate of beans landed on our
white vest.
6 Bread pudding, forever !' shouted we,
in defiance, dodging the soup tureen, and
falling beneath its contents.
4 Plum pudding,' vociferated the anmia
lhe spouse ; noticing our misfortune, she
determined to keep us down by piling upon
our head the dishes with no gentle hand.
Then, in rapid succession followed the war
cries--' Plum pudding !' she shrieked,
with every dish.
Bre , d pudding !' in' smothered tones,
came up from the pile in reply. Then it
was plum pudding,' the last crow growing
feebler, till, just as we can distinctly re
collect,,it had grown to a whisper. Bread
pudding,' resounded we, like thunder, fol
lowed by a tremendous crash, as my wife
leaped upon the pile with her delicate feet,
and commenced jumping up and down.
Thank Heaven, we awoke, and thus saved
our life. We shall never dream on wed
ding cake again—that's the moral.
07' One of our peculiar, slabsided,
gaunt Yankees lately emigrated and set
tled down in the West. He was the very
picture of a mean man, but as he put him
self to work in good earnest to get his
house to rights, the neighbors willingly
lent him a hand. After ho had got every
thing fixed to his notion, a thought struck
him that he had no chickens, and he was
powerful fond of snaking raw eggs. He
was too honest to steal them, and too mean
to buy them. At last a thought struck
him--he could borrow. He wont to a
neighbor, and thus accosted him :
`Val, I reckon you hain't got an old
hen nor nothin' you'd lend me for a few
weeks, have you neighbor ?'
I will lend you one with pleasure,' re
plied the gentleman, pioking out the very
finest in the coop, one that happened to
desire to set.
The Yankee took the hen home, and
then went to another neighbor and bor
rowed a dozen eggs. He then set the hen,
and in due course of time she hatched out
a dozen chickens.
The Yankee was again puzzled ; he
could retutzn the hen, but how was he to
return the eggs. Another idea—and who
ever saw a live Yankee without ono 1— he
would keep the hen until she had laid a
dozen.
This he did, and then returned the hen
and eggs to their respective owners, re
marking as he did so :
Wal, I reckon I've got as fine a dozen
of chickens as ever you laid eyes on, and
they didn't cost me a cent nuther.
ry' A Physician took a young student
to see a patient who was confined to his
bed. ' Sir,' said the physician to the sick
man, 'you have been imprudent, you have
eaten oysters.' The patient admitted that
he had. Returning home, the student
asked the doctor how he discovered that
the man had eaten oysters. Why,' re
plied the doctor, I saw the shells under
the bed.' A few days after, the student
was sent to visit the same patient. He
soon returned, however, saying that he had
been kicked out of the house for telling
the patient he had been imprudent ; he had
eaten horse flesh. Horse flesh, you young
fool ! what do you mean cried the doctor.
Because, sir, I saw a saddle and a pair of
stirrups under the bed.'
, rei LANCAST.EII.
JOB PRINTING ENTABLISIIMENT,
No. > NORTH DUKE STREET, LANCASTER, PA.
The Jobbing Department is thoroughly furnished with
new and elegant type of every description, and is under
the clmrge of a practical and experienced Job Printer.—
The Proprietors are prepared to
PRINT CHECKS, '
NOTES, LEGAL BLANKS,
CARDS AND CIRCULARS,
BILL HEADS AND HANDBILLS,
PROGRAMMES AND POSTERS,
PA VI-. ”. BOORS AND PAMPHLETS,
BALL TICKETS AND INVITATIONS,
PRINTING IN COLORS AND PLAIN PRINTING,
with neatness, accursey and dispatch, on the most reasona
ble terms ' and in a manner not excelled by any establish
ment in the city.
AUr. Orders from a distance, by mail or otherwisad
promptly attended to. Address
GEO. SANDERSON k SON,
Intelllgencer Office,
N“. C North Duke street, Lancaster, Pa.
tt:NCY FURS! FANCY FURS I I
fi
pARETRA.
I I i ASCII Stater
(below Bth south side.)
Pit I L AD ELPLITA.
Importer, Mannfactur,
of and Dealer in all kinds
FANCY FURS!
for Ladies' and Children'
Wear.
I wish to return m:
thanks to my friends c
Lancaster and the on
rounding counties. for the
v, ry liberal patronage el
tended to me during tt
Inst few years, and woul
say to them that I no,
have in store, of toy ow.
Importation and Mannf
mont of all the different
Furs, for Ladles and Cbiidr,
the Fall and Winter seasons.
Being the direct Importer of all my Fors from Europe
and having them all Manufactured u oder my own super
vision—enables me to offer my customers and the public
a much handsomer set of Furs for the name money.
Ladies please give me a call before purchasing I Please
remember the name, number and street,
JOHN FAREIRA,
No. 718 Arch Street, Philadelphia.
cep 16 6m 36
* * *
DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLY.
LINI-
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THE GREAT EXTERNAL REMEDY.
FOR RHEUMATISM, GOUT, NEURALGIA, LUMBAGO,
STIFF NECK AND JOINTS, SPRAINS, BRUISES,
CUTS AND WOUNDS, PILES, HEADACHE,
AND ALL RHEUMATIC AND NER
VOUS DISORDERS.
DR. STEPHEN SWEET, OF CONNECTICUT,
The Great Natural Bone Setter.
DR. STEPHEN SWEET, OF CONNECTICUT.
Li known all over the United States.
DR. STEPHEN SWEET, OF CONNECTICUT,
Is the author of "Dr. Sw.t's Infallible Liniment."
DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
Curer Rheumatism and never fails.
DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
Is n certain remedy for Neuralgia.
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Curio, Burns and Scalds Immediately.
DR SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
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DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
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Affords immediate relief for Piles, and seldom fails to cure.
DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
Cures Toothache in one Minute.
Dit. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
Cure, Cuts and Wounds immediately and leaves no scar.
DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
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DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
Has been need by more than a million people, and al_
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DR. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE, LINIMENT
le truly a friend in need," and every family should ban
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DE. SWEET'S INFALLIBLE LINIMENT
la for bal e by all Druggiattrico 25 and 50 cents.
, RICHARDSON & CO.,
Sole Proprietors, Norwich, Ct.
44.- For sale by all Dealers. [June '23 ly 24
NEN - BIORFORD , S NEW BOOK 1
11 PIIF. DAYS OF SHODDY!
THE DAY& OF SHODDY!
THE DAYS OF SHODDY 1
DAYS OF SHODDY is published and for sale this day
by all Booksellers and News Agents everywhere, complete
iu one large volume, paper cover, Railway Edition, price
One Dollar; or bound in one volume, cloth, for $1.50.
It is published and for sale at the Cheapest Book House
in the world to buy or send for a stock of books, which is
at T. B. PETERSON A BROTHERS,
No. 300 Cheetnut Street, Phila.
Air Copies sent everywhere free of postage on receipt of
price.
FOR SALE BY ALL BOOKSELLERS.
deo 22
pito sPlOcitrus JITOR111•11.
THR WORLD.
en Independent Demoaratte Daily, leni•Weekiy a
Weekly NawlPacen
UNION Olt MR WORLD AND iLRGRIL
. „_. _
The World, to which the New York W 4 =t ina t
been united, has to-day Dye times the
lion o[ any Democratic or ounservativa ste
dreases weekly more than 100,000.aohelkn'a ma aeg•
stint porchasers, and - ,sachet at lellat• SADO. Utmost
readers. With the steady increase in otronletket *hid It
uow enjoys, these numbera will be doubled lgrthe Lit Of
January,ll3B4. Nothing less than this sturiblerAilikthisi
who believe that the only hops of reetoring the Mon cad
the authority of the Constitution mks err diet feted
and divided country, Iles tnwree'lead Ws
hands of those whose filnatioism has
invite, and prolong the war; and that to scoops this
end, no means is so effective u the dl uliareuvals able
and enterprising newspapers, of sound knowledip
among the working men, the thinking meek, ant. the vot
ing men of the North. - .
Enterprise, Industry and money, will be illowailly ex
pended to make Tan WORLD TIME= NEWSPAPER Iff
AMERICA. Its news from every part_of the—workt-will
be early and authentic. Wherever the hasjiidt—ez
tends, or railroads run, or steamboatt ply, it thew
the latest intelligence..lt ham a • staff of - label
correspondents with ad the fader arndes who
graph and write to us the Latest Wet rrike till as
some of war. It ban corresponderitaand
political and commercial Centre. in America and limp%
whose letters and dispatches will leave nothing worthy of
note unknown to Its readers. _ _
. .
Special exertions w i ll.i be need to tnakilta reportf6tMes
Crepe, of the Cattle, Prodnoe,• and Money markets, sem•
prehendve end. Re4.1.0 3 / 1 , Otte. bona and
sinew of the country are to be . fotuid nipen iti
_4ll la
e
work hope, Tax Virona kathatlkois'eentf qW~in•
formation and news concerning:Agriealturean
turas, and will endeavor to make its bonne peo= hl =
able to the Farmers and Bleehattleter the eaveintig"—
The war in which the tiatital le entSllo4_ll6l4llClunted
and infattusted rebels, and We radical
. uollog of the :
ministration which prolongeit, Neve etc Litdred'ili th e:
together upon one platform all COnSertatt*..Uutsiminidiag
and Constitution loving men, of whatover former.-name
and creed. Many of those vtho;within the the
Ccnatitution, fought the. battled' Of Abe liallotawrcusider
the leadership of those patriotic statesmen of
,other, and
Henrybetter days, Clay and Danielltiebitter;lngetheedth
the masses whose principles were those's/teach. am
Andrew Jackson, apd.Wllliam L.hlaroy, Silas right and
Stephen A. Douglas; noiretirid , &milder to shoulder upon
the same platform and lands! the voitolcituthrAlltit plat.
form is a plain one. It hiking:arc= Tactim9s,jcepruut
TRY CoNsTITITTIott, AND ilaiiVoatnt Tax Wifiltevor
makes for this end, the exercise of force or the pulley of
conciliation, The World /Ail- adrosate ; whatever snakes
against it, 'the World will-opPose.'
It will oppose every enenay to • - • • ,
- UNION,'THB ' '-
whether armed In rebellion at the South or lasidlowily
planting the seeds of disunion and essential disloyalty at
the North.
It tvlll oppose every vinalon of
THE CONSTITUTION,
which Is the only hope and bond of Union, and Our only
antbority for exhorting or compelling the alleglanoe of the
South.
It will oppose every Infraction of
TELT* LAWS,
In high places or in low, by reckless and misguided parti
sans, or by the administration which has been their ex
ample.
It will fearlessly exordia But Freedom of the Ptues; It
will oonetsutly uphold • and defend Fr•adoin of flpeech,
and Freedom of the Ballot.
..... .
To the lawless eats of the Administration its artiltrary
and unjust arrests and expatriation', It. denial of thetight
to the writ of habeas corpus, its illegal proolircettions, ies
abrogation of State and-federal lawp, its.timpotie stoma
tallow' of ungrinted power and Its subversion" of - the
safe-guards of CIVIL &ND PilicliONAL WaalT, it,wdli ocinellint
ly oppose the letter and spirit of our impreme law and the
advocacy of eonnd doctrine, until American freemen shall
be roused to the recovery of their rights, thiii *ernes,
their laws, and their limited and well-belattcod, gevara
ment, by the resistless decision of theltallot. , -
Profoundly impressed with the desire to ountribute.all
that tt may to the great work of this genendlon—tullnely,
to restore our national unity, and to place the- UPlled
States again foremost among the nations of the earth, and
first in the peace, prosperity and happiness of its people—
The World seeks from those who desire such thing. their
sympathy and support, and, above all, the favor of Him
who crowns every good work.
TER - NIS: DAILY WORLD
unrly nubscribers by mall
9E511-WEEKLY WORLD
lugle subscribers per annum
Two copies to one address
Three
WEEKLY WORLD.'
Single subacribers per annum 1.00
Three copies (address on each paper) 8.00
Five copies 8.00
Ten copies 44 ............. ....-... 16.00
Twenty conies (all to one address 26.00
Clubs of 20 end over can have the addren put on sank
roper for an additional charge of 10 cents erali.
For every club of twenty an extra copy will be added
br the getter up of the club.
For 4341:71y club of fifty, tho Semi-Weekly; and for Avery
:tub of one hundred, the Daily will be sent, when roiliest-
Kt, in lieu of the extra copies of weekly.
Additions to Clubs may be made at any time at alum
.atee. Papers cannot be changed frow one Cilab to
mother, but on request of the person ordering the Olab,
ind on receipt of fifty cents extra, single never' will , be
,alters from the club and sent to a separate address.
All orders must be accompanied by the cash. Addrese
THE WORLD,
35 Park Row, New York.
oct 21 tf 42J
121.9.0m12. 1. 1g ,
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MISHLEWS BITTICRS.
Below we publish another lot of certificates re-
ceived by B. MISFILES, concerning the great cures effect
ed by his wonderful remedial agent known as HEBB
ALroone, Pa, Sept. 2,1868.
DT. Whitfield—Sir I had been afflicted With- a very
severe cold on the breast for three or four week', and had
tried different domestic and patent remedieswithout' any
benefit. From your recommendation I was induced teltry
Misbler's Bitters. lam happy to say they had the desired
effect—and lam better than I have been for long - time.
I have also used the Bitters for a severe Diarhose and they
completely cured me. No one should be without them. I
am determined to have some in the house all the time.
Yours respectfully,
..... _ . .
Amon, Pa., May 1,1888.
Dr. If lifyield—Bir This is to certify that I have been
afflicted with the Rheumatism for many years, and have
tried many thing! said to be cures without any relief— I
am employed drying sand for the P. B: R:, and haVing to
.
be in the damp and steam nearly all the -I was
afraid that I never would get well again. One of my arms
has been ao bad that I was-afraid I would bail the LNG of
it altogether; it was so weak and painful that. /
raise it with my other hand whenever wiehedto change
Its position. The bottle of Mishler's Herb Bitten -r i r ot
from you the other day, has so much relieved me that I
can now raise my arm without difficulty and it le IPtalllt
se strong as ever.
From the wonderful improvement it has • Made hi :my
health, I can recommend Mahler's Herb Bitters with the
greatest confidence to all those afflicted with the Itheirma•
tiara. Respectfully yours,
Hamm, l' , 10:151b,1888.
B. Mishler—Dear Sir : I Wive been selling year Bitten
for a long time, and have used It myself for limalglis,
which has entirely cared me, and my engenders Swift end
think it to be the beet .Bitten they have ever heard of.
Indeed it has given entire satisfsetion in every peritletilir.
I intend to keep a full supply on band all th y time at my
hotel, " Washington House," Manhelm. A. H. BEIL3T.
"
0312';
0 _g :i.E 4 .4 ;lift IV.
51 , _Esp .1. 100. 3 ..f..1.
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SHEAF/WE/VS CHEAP BOOK STORE
No. 32 NORTH OWN STREW
IS THE PLACE TO PURCHASE
SCHOOL BOOKS & SCHOOL. STATIONERY.
Ommuszeo. ALL THE TAZIOVII
READING AND SPELLING BOOKS,
ARITHIdETICS AND ALGEBRAS,
GRAMMARS AND ETYMOLOGIES, -
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COPY AND COMPOSITION BOOKS,
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BLANK-BOOKS. SLATES,
LEAD AND SLATE PEN
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INKSTAND& It
and he beat and most complete assortment of .
13017rDL STATIONERY IN THE CITY. •
W Liberal Recounts made to Tatham and 'Hatehants
JOHN amwm SE'S
Cheap Oath Book nom'
02 North Queen strint, Liattadarir;
T
This wonderful article, just Vatented,le
entirely new, and never before oared to lieleaAkaftriira
wanted everywhere. Tall partterders sent fres.
Address MAW t CLARK,
or 2 17 12 1 BUlrkball•Mstu.
NO. 2.
11.®
6.00
T.OO
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22.60
:JOSEPH H. BROWN
HUGH NIIILLOYi