:r I,Eitticti.7('Ut.':..-._....-'-..'.-tict.ti4m,&.:e.
VOL. TAIT
PTE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER
lILIBHLD TVERY 78:818DAY, AT NO.
..8 NOSTEIDIINZ STREET,
BY OE O. SANDERSON
MITE
7UBBCRIPTIO3.—Two Dollars per annum, payable in ad
vance. No subscription discontinued until all arrear
ages are paid, unleas at the option of the Editor.
ADVll7.7lsEllENT3.—Advertisements, not exceeding one
square, (12 lines,) will be inserted three times fur one
dollar, and twenty-sve•cents for each additional Sneer
- tion. Those of greater length in proportion.
JOB POINTMO—Stich as Hand BUN, Posters, Pamphlets,
Blank., Labels, &c., &c., executed with accuracy and ou
the' shortest notice,
'An esteemed lady friend of this city sends us
the following. It was originally published in a
Southern paper, and, besides being a capital hit at
the folly of the President for issuing his Emancipa
tion Proclamation, contains a great deal of genuine
poetry and feeling :
A SOUTHERN SCENE.
"Oh! mammy, bavo' you heard the newa!"
Thus spoke a Southern child,
As in the nurse's aged face
She upward glanced and smiled.
"What vows you moan, my little ono
It must bu mighty fine,
To male my dariing's face so red,
Iter sunny blue eyes shine."
"Why, Abram Lincoln, don't you know
The Yankee President,
Whose ugly pioture once we
When up to town we went.
Well, he is going to free you all,
And make you rich and grand,
And you'll be dressed in silk and gold,
Like the proudest in the land.
A gilded coach shall carry you
Whereer you wish to ride,
And, mammy, all your work aball be
Forever laid aside."
The eager speaker paused for breath
And then the old nurse said,
While closer to her swarthy cheek
She pressed the golden head :
'Ally little misses stop and res—
You' talking mighty fns ;
Jes look up dere, and tell me what
You see in yonder glass!
“You sees old mammy's wrinkly face,
As black as eny coal;
And underneath her handkerchief
IShole heaps of knotty wool.
darlin's face is red and white,
Her skin is self and fine,
And on her pretty little head,
He yeller ringlets shine.
"My child who made die difference
Twixt mammy and twist you?
You reads do dear Lord's blessed book,
And you can tell me true.
'We dear Lord said it must be so;
And, honey, .I. for ono,
}Sid tankful heart will always any,
Els holy will be done.
tanks mas Linkum all do same,
But when I wants for free,
I'll ask de Lord of glory,
Not poor buckra man like he.
"And as for gilded carriages,
lley's notin' tall to see ;
My massa's easels what carries him,
Is good enough for me.
"And honey, when your mammy wants
To change her homespun dress,
She'll pray like dear old missus,
To he clothed with righteousness.
~ .My work's been done dis many a day,
And now 1. takes nay ease,
A waitin' for de Master's call
J es when do Master please.
'And when at las do time's done come,
And soon old mammy dies,
Your own dear mother's soil white hand
shall close deso tired old oyes.
' , De dear Lord Jesus soon will call
Old mammy home to him,
And he can wash my guilty soul
From ebry spot of sin.
"And at his feet I shall lie down,
Who died and rose for me;
And den, and not till den, my chile,
Your mammy will be free.
"Come, little missus, say your prayers,
Let old mas Linkum
The debil knows who b'longs to him,
And he'll take care of his own."
Yor The Intelligeucer
A VICTORY.
There are hearts that aro bounding with gladness
Through our broad land to-day ;
There are hearts that are bowed with sadness
At tidings of the fray.
With the shout for the nation's glory
Comes up the orphan's cry ;
And, in each pause of the thrilling story,
Is heard the widow's sigh.
Far, far, o'er lake, mountain and river,
The welcome tidings fly;
Loud, louder the chorus swells ever—
Of "Glory !" Victory!"
And the nation's heart thrills with a swell
Of mingled joy and pain:
Of joy—that her sons did their duty well ;
Of sorrow—for the slain.
When we place the wreath on the victor's head,
And greet him with acclaim,
We cannot forget our soldiers dead,
Nor their unsullied fame.
For the victory which we celebrate
Was bought at a fearful cost—
And our joy is mixed with deep regret
For those we have loved and lost.
LANce.arnit, Pa., April 29th, letll;
THE BABY BAPTISING
BY MARY KYLE DALLAS
Poor, dear Uncle Clover ! There never
was any one like him for getting into
scrapes, I ant sure. Designing people
always seem to pitch upon him in an instant
as a proper person to play their pranks on ;
and the . worst of it is that experience does
him no good, not the least in the world,
and he only seems to become used to being
imposed upon, and rather to like it than
otherwise. I never shall forget, if I live .
for a hundred years, that dreadful Sun
day when—. But I'll not anticipate.
The facts shall speak for themselves.—
Father's churehi I think I have frequently
spoken of father's church before) is quite
a distance from uncle's house, so that he
does not often go there of a Sunday. But
now and then, on occasion of a special in
vitation, he makes an effort—rises at six,
which you have to do, you know, to attend
morning service in Brooklyn, whey' you
live in New York, to absolutely get there.
To be sure, he generally falls fast asleep
in ten minutes ; but that is owing to the
atigue of the journey,
One day last summer, mother came over
on purpose to tell us that the services at
our church were to be of a very interesting
nature on the next Sabbath. Over twenty
sweet little babies were to be baptised.—
The Rev. Timothy Dorking was to assist
father, and the now organ was to be used
for the first time.
'You must come with Kitty, Brother
Clover,'said mother. 'lt will be one of the
most pleasing ceremonies you ever witness
ed. Twenty infants ! Just think of that
Brother Clover.'
'Do you think they'll all cry at once,
ma'am ! inquired uncle, scratching his head
ruefully.
CI don't see why they should cry at all,
replied mother sharply. 'There's nothing
to frighten them.'
'I should think the organ and the choir
would,' replied uncle.
'Bless you for a foolish old bachelor,'
laughed mother. 'Music always keeps a
child quiet if anything will.'
'Oh !' said uncle, looking relieved.—
'l'm very glad to hear it. 'Well, sister,
I'll come.'
Mother smiled approvingly. knew
yon would,' she said. 4 1. shall expect you
early ; but if you find we've left the house,
come right over to- the church. Bridget
and Muth will both be there. I've artan
ged to have a cold dinner, so there will be
no one at home.'
'On second thoughts,' continued mother,
'Kitty had better come over on Saturday
night. It always takes her so long to dress
for church, and I would not have her late
for any consideration.'
If mother had only known what would
come of that arrangement ! But she did
not, and went away in a very pleasant
mood, nodding and smiling from the stage
window.
It may be fancy, but I really do think
that while she sat there talking to Uncle,
I felt cold chills creep through my frame,
and was sure that something dreadful was
about to happen. I'll stick to that—l
really had a presentiment of evil.
Saturday night came, and I left for
Brooklyn, arriving at home without auy
misadventure, and having Strict instruc
tions for Bridget to call uncle in good sea
son.
And so she did. Ile had eaten his break
fast by seven, and was entirely dressed for
church by eight, and started, with ample
time to take his leisure and arrive com
fortably.
He took the cars at the corner, reached
Fulton street ferry, crossed it, and jumped
into the cars on the other side. It was
full of people going to china, and the
passengers were obliged to sit very closely.
Next to uncle sat a nice looking young
woman with a baby in her arms. Uncle
says she was so pretty that she quite inter
ested him, and so young that he wondered
if she really was the baby's mother.—
After a while he spoke to her—taking ad
vantage, as he says, of his grey hairs.
'That is a pretty child,' he said. 'how
old is it V
'Just three months,' replied the woman
'Your's ?' asked uncle.
, Yes, sir.'
'Dear me !' said uncle, and there the
conversation flagged for a little. After a
while the woman spoke again.
'l'm taking the child to see its grand
parents,' she said.
'Ah !' said uncle.
'They doat on the baby,' said the young
woman.
don't wonder,' replied uncle. 'What
do you call it ?'
'Call it V
'What is your baby's name?' explained
uncle.
The young woman hesitated a few mo
ments, which uncle thought was odd, and
then replied—
'John, sir. John Todd.'
'Ah !' said uncle. 'Well, John is a
good, substantial name— old fashioned,
though.'
'lt's his grandpa's,' replied the woman.
Then, uncle says, she talked to the baby,
tossed it, cooed with it, and made such a
pretty picture of herself altogether, that
he was half in love with her. Every now
and then he exchanged some word with
her abont the weather or the war, (she said
her husband was a volunteer,) and so they
went on until there were only themselves
left in 'the car and they were quite up
amongst_the scattered and unbuilt streets.
There the car stopped to change horses,
and the young woman said to uncle—
'Poor baby wants something to eat.'
'Dear me,' said uncle.
'There is such a nice little cake shop
around the corner,' said the young wo
man, 'and I could get back in time, only
'Only what said uncle.
'Only I don't like to ask you to hold
baby until .I. come back.'
'l'll do it, Pin sure, with the greatest of
pleasure,' replied unolo.
4lt would annoy you, sir, said the young
woman.
4 011, not at all.'
'But I'm afraid.'
'No more words about it, my dear,' said
uncle. , G o and get your infant some cake,'
and he took the child in his own arms, and
leaned back with it while the woman ran
out of the car.
It was a warm day, and somehow or other
while Uncle Clover was waiting for the
woman's return, he fell asleep. How long
lie slept he did not know, but he was
awakened by the conductor shouting
- avenue, sir !'
Ile had told him where to set him down
when he got in, and started up to find him
self alone in the car with the baby in his
arms.
'Where's the young woman ?' he inquir
ed.
'What young woman ?' inquired the con
ductor.
'This baby's mother, of course,' replied
uncle.
'Your wife
'Good gracious ! My wife ! No !'
'Then that is not your child, sir
'Oh, dear, no ! only holding it
until its mother comes back,' replied
uncle.
The conductor began to laugh. Why,
uncle could not imagine, as there was noth
ing to laugh at. 'The young woman will
he very much alarmed, I'm afraid,'- he
said, gravely ; and the conductor laughed
again.
Then uncle began to see through the
matter.
4 I'm afraid you're sold, sir,' said the
conductor. It's a very common thing.'
What is a very common thing ?' asked
uncle.
For that kind of women to leave their
babies with strangers who are not up to
the dodge,' replied the conductor. You're
regularly taken in, sir.'
Uncle would not believe it. But every
one of whom he made inquiries laughed at
him, and finally he took the child in his
arms and started in sheer desperation for
our house. The door was locked, for ev
ery one was at church, and poor, foolish,
deluded uncle, remembering what mother
had said about coming there if service had
I begun, obeyed her, and with that child
still huddled up on his coat sleeve, pro
ceeded to the door and up the steps.
Now, on that day there were so many
babies to be baptized that the parents had
i been requested to take the front-paws, in
order to avoid the confusion of rising all
over the church, and when the sexton saw
uncle with a child in his arms, he natural
ly concluded he was one of the parents
and ushered him straight up the middle
aisle into one of those pews.
We were at prayer, but when I hoard
uncle's step, I peeped over my handker
chief and sat stupified with astonishment.
Uncle was just going into that pew with
the baby, whose great blue eyes wore open
to•their fullest extent, and who was ana
_ ing• his-thumb at inch a rate that it could
, be heard all over the church. I hit moth
"THAT COUNTRY U 3 TH3 MOST PROSPIROM3 WHIM LABOR COMMANDS THI GRIATIST RXWARD."--BWTHANAN.
LANCASTER CITY, PA., TUESDAY MORNING, MAY 5, 1863.
er in the side with my fan, but she took
no notice. She said afterwards that she
fancied I was drawing her attention to
Mr. Kissem's sky-blue bonnet with pink
feathers, and was shocked that I should do
so in prayer time. So I stared at the Da
by, and at uncle, and at father in the pul
pit with his eyes shut, and really thought
I should go mad, or had done so.
Where on earth did uncle get that ba
by ? whose was it ? and why did he bring
it there' to be christened? Mother says
that if she had only known of it in time
she, would have walked across and ordered
him out of the pew ; but she, poor soul!
had not the least idea of what was going
on.
After a while the prayer was over, but
mother, still wishing to reprove me for idle
thoughts in church, took no notice of my
nudges and whispers, and it was not until
the middle of the sermon that sister Cle
mentia, who sits with her husband just
behind us, leaned over and whispered :
Kitty, that is not Uncle Clover ?'
4 It must be,' I replied.
Ilow did he come by that baby ?'
Dear knows,' I whispered ; I can't
imagine.
Clementia paused a moment and then
whispered again : Uncle Clover is a de
praved old wretch !'
Oh, Clementia !'
'I never thought it of him,' said Clem ;
but I'm sure now. Oh, the bare-faced
creature!'
' Some ono will hear you, Clem, I whis
pered.
And every one will see him. We are
disgraced for ever !' whispered Clem.—
' Mother ! mother ! you shall listen.—
Don't you see that man ? Don't you
see Uncle Clover in the pew with the
babies who are to be christened, with a
baby in his own arms 3 Mother looked,
and her countenance became perfectly
rigid. lOh ! if I could get at him,' whis
pered Clementina.
The whole church will be looking at
you presently, Clem,' said her husband.
You musn't be so excited, my dear.'
Can I help it ?' replied Clementina.--
What does ail father that he seems to see
nothing of that disgraceful object ?'
And father, indeed, had not looked that
way, and did not, until the sermon being
over, he arose and stood before the party
in the front pews. Even then, being
near-sighted, he had christened two chil
dren before he noticed Uncle Clover, who
had risen like the others, and was appar
ently waiting his turn. An idea that he
had seen some one very like this gentle
man before first broke upon him, and the
next instant he was sure of his identity.
It is strange, but true, that if you meet
your dearest and most intimate friend in a
place where you have no idea of meeting
him you will at the first glance believe
him a stranger. So it was with father.—
How could he believe that Uncle Clover
was before him with a young infant in his
arms ; and so he had said in uncle's ear :
What is this child's name V and uncle
had answered, ' John, I believe,' before he
knew him.
Father says that he believes he should
have fainted but for the consciousness that
the eyes of the congregation were upon
him. He could not make a fuss there, and
he was half distracted. However, he con
cluded the only course to pursue was to go
straight on, and accordingly he did so,
showing, as mother said, very praisewor
thy presence of mind. And so, before he
knew what had happened, uncle had prom
ised to bring the baby up properly and
teach him his catechism.
How the service went on I don't know;
I heard not ono word, and we were very
much relieved when it was over. Clemen
tina fairly ran out of church, and in our
party mother and she went on at such a
rate that they frightened me.
It is some mistake, I'm sure,' I plead
ed. But both insisted that the deed was
done with malice prepense, and that Uncle
Clover was a depraved creature. As we
were at the worst, steps sounded in the
hall, and father and Uncle Clover with the
baby entered. Uncle was very pale and
looked very much frightened, but father
was quite calm ; he had heard the truth of
the matter on the way, and had decided
that on the whole uncle's conduct was
rather praiseworthy. But mother, as yet
in ignorance, pounced upon him like an
eagle, and, beginning by informing him
that she was a fool to have the slightest
confidence in him, talked to him for an
hour and three-quarters without a mo
ment's cessation, proving hini a villain of I
the deepest dye, and winding up by order
ing him from the house, and forbidding
me to speak to him. Clem satisfied her
self by putting in horrified ejaculations
and contemptuous epithets.
At last, when both were out of breath,
poor uncle entered into an explanation,
and told the story of the woman in the car.
I believed it at first, of course, but mother
was a long time coming around, and Clem
somehow dislikes uncle to this day. Nev
ertheless, with father's intercession, the
family were in a manner reconciled, and
the child was handed over to Dinah to
take care of while we dined.
Of course the affair caused some scandal
in the church, where Uncle Clover is quite
well known everywhere, and the only mis
chief done is, that people will believe poor
uncle a little touched in the upper story,
and not exactly accountable for his actions.
As for the baby, uncle says it his duty
to see it cared for, because he promised
father he would when he was baptized.—
So it has been left with a poor woman in
the country ever since, and uncle has de
cided to have him properly brought up, at
his own expense. Mother says the thing
is perfectly absurd.
C ' 4 We onoe had a very awkwara
horse to shoe,' said a smith, ' and I was
punishing it severely to make it stand still.
'My shop was just before the Kitchen win
dow, and my wife, who is a kind hearted
woman, came out and reproved me for my
conduct to the animal. She went up to it,
patted it, and it stood as quiet as a' lamb,
and we could have done anything with it.'
0, that people would try kindness ! It is
a mighty cure.
E 7 — A man named Oats was had up re
cently for beating his wife and children.
On being sentenced to imprisonment, the
brute remarked that it was very hard a
man was not allowed to thrash his own
oats.
IG- - "A man who covers himself with
costly apparel and neglects his mind, is
like one who illuminates the outside of his
house and sits within the dark.
MARIA'S DOWER.
One day in the year of grace 1550, a
fisherman landed in front of, the palace of
St. Mark, crossed that celebrated plane,
and stopped at the door of a hostelry, over
which the emblematic lion of Venice was
rudely delineated. He was a tall and
powerful man; his imbrowned features
were full of that force and intelligence so
often observed among the inhabitants of
that favored climate, but his eyes had lost
their usual lustre, and the boatman's broad
forehead was bowed down by painful re
flections. Entering the tavern, he per
ceived in the darkest corner of the hall 'a
stranger, who appeared plunged in prci
found thought. He, too, had those manly
and striking features which generally ac
company moral energy. His dress was of
severe simplicity ; a doublet and hose of
black velvet covered his powerful limbs ;
a silken cap, out out at the temples, and
fastened by two bands under the chin, as
was the fashion of the day, concealed in
part his thick and curling hair, some gray
locks of which fell carelessly over his neck.
Giannetini,' said the gondolier, ad
dressing a stout ruddy man, who was walk
ing up and down the room, 'do you still
persist in your refusal ?'
I do,' answered the Venetian.
I am too poor to be your son-in-law, I
suppose,' replied the boatman. Before
thinking of your daughter's happiniss, you
think of her fortune; and Giannetini, must
I, to influence you, remind you of the grat
itude you owe me ? Have you forgotten
that I saved your life at Lepanto, when
Venice armed oven her women to defend
the republic against the soldiers of the
Barbarossa.' Don't you know that Maria
and I were brought up together, and have
sworn, ever since we were children, to live
always for each other ? and that these
pledges were renewed, when age gave
strength and constancy to our attachment ?
Do you want to make her and me unhap
py? Are you the Doge, that you are so
ambitious ? or a patrician, that you aro so
ungrateful ?'
No, but I am rich, Barberige.'
And I shall be rich, Giannetini.
have strong arms, a bold heart, youth and
faith in God. Fortune may, some day or
other, alight on my gondola.
Castles in the air !' said the innkeeper.
Who knows?' answered the boatman.
Lorenzo de Medicis was a merchant,
`Francisco Sforza was a drover, why may I
'not be a general one of these days?'
Because, Barberigo, Fortune disap
points a million for every three she favors.
At any rate, I will not be a father-in-law
of a man whose whole fortune is a skiff.—
Maria might better—'
Be a patrician's mistress than a gon
dolier's wife ; she had better slumber in
ill-gotten wealth, than live obscure and
honest.'
True, Maria has taken the eye of the
proveditore's nephew. This young noble
man has been to see me, and has offered—'
To marry her ?
No demonio ! Much as the nobles of
Venice try to make themselves popular,
they don't sell their titles so cheap.'
To buy her, then ?'
Just so.'
Wretch ! and for how much do you sell
your daughter's honor ?
The bargain is not yet closed. I ask
two thousand ducats, and the nobleman
offers fifteen hundred ; but as I know the
worth and scarcity of my goods, I will not
bate a sequin.'
The stranger, who had listened atten
tively to the conversation of the two Ve
netians, rose, and clapping parberi g o on
the shoulder, told him ;
Boatman ! Maria shall be thy wife."
Never !' said the host.
g Why, you jew ! not if this man brings
you two thousand pistoles as a wedding
present
g Oh, in that case, Barberigo shall be
my son-in-law, and I would sign the con
tract cheerfully ; but consider, signor, that
this poor lad owns nothing but the four
planks of the boat; and unless he should
be lucky enough to find the Dode's ring—'
g Without looking to such a chance as
that, you shall finger the money before
long.
g But where am I to get it, signor
stammered the astonished boatman. 'Not
out of my pocket, my good fellow,' replied
the stranger, because lam just now poor
as a lazzaroni. There is so much suffer
ing to relieve from Florence to Venice,
that I could not find a single paul in it.
But be of good cheer ; my poverty is sister
to wealth, and my art fills my purse as
often as charity empties it.' So saying,
the stranger opened a portfolio, took from
it a parchment, which he spread on the
table, and in a few minutes sketched a
hand, with such surprising perfection, that
the boatman, ignorant as he was in matters
of art, could not repress a cry of astonish
ment. ' Here !' said the unknown artist,
handing his hasty sketch to the fisherman,
4 take this parchment to Cardinal Pietro
Bembo, whom you will find at the palace
of St Mark, and tell him that a painter,
who wants money, wishes to sell it at two
thousand pistoles.'
'Two thousand pistoles!' cried the inn
keeper, wondering.' This man is a fool—
he must be dumb or crazy. I would not
give a sequin for it.'
The gondolier went, and returned in an
hour with the sum required, with which the
secretary of Leo X. had sent a letter, in
which he urgently begged the artist to
honor him with a visit.
The next day Maria and Barberigo were
married in the church of San Stefano. The
stranger wished to enjoy the commence
ment of their happiness, by witnessing the
ceremony ; and when the boatman, over
whelmed with gratitude, begged of him
to tell him his name, he answered that he
was called MICHAEL ANGELO.
Twenty years after this little adventure,
Antonio Barberigo, by one of those enig
matical changes, the key of which belongs
to Providence alone, was general of the
Venetian republic. But howeTer, intoxi
cating this unhoped-for elevation was to
the boatman, he never forgot his illustri
ous benefactor; and when Buonarotti died
at Rome, after the most glorious old age
and most brilliant career that artist ever
knew, it was the hand of the boatman that
traced, above the Latin epitaph composed
by order of the successor of Paul 111. for
his favorite, those two grateful lines which
time has respected,, and which may yet
be read on the monument of this great
man.
As for the sketch mentioned in this
story, it was brought from Italy in the
knapsaok of one of Napoleon's corporals.
The Benevolent Fairy.
Once , there was a fairy that had more
benevolent and enlarged views than most
of her species. She said her people had done
very wrong in confining all their gifts to
mankind, who had long since ceased to be
worthy of their glass slippers, magic rings,
wonder mirrors, and pretty little luck
pence; her heart burned to be of service
to the brute creation. So she stepped up
to a cow which was grazing by the way
side.
Cow,' said she, what do you wish for
most in the whole world ? If you will
tell me, you shall have it.'
The fairy was not much bigger than a
grasshopper, and the old cow thought it
was very presumptuous in her to-pretend
to have such power.
However, there's no telling,' thought
the cow, for these little mosquitoes that
do me so much mischief aro a great deal
smaller than she is.'
Then the cow said :
If I might have my wish I would be a
bird. Ido not like to be tied up in the
barn every night, and never be allowed to
go but into pasture. The birds have no
troubles : they aro free and happy. They
can fly away from danger, and in the win
ter they can warm themselves by the sun.
Then they are at liberty to go all round
the world, and gather information from
every country. lam weary of this life of
servitude and samenessY
When the fairy heard these words she
touched her with a little wand, and the
cow changed to a bird, and flew merrily
away. Soon after the fairy met a robin and
and she said ;
, Pretty robin, what would you most like
in the world?'
I should like to be a whale,' said the
bird ; I think it is very degrading to be
such a mite of a creature as I am ; I always
look on anything largo with envy. Be
sides, I should like to live away down un
der the water, beause I should be so safe
there: hawks could not find me, or the
guns of cruel men reaoh me.'
The fairy thought he was a foolish bird,
but she did as he wished her ; and he
plunged into the water with a mighty
noise. As the fairy stood by the seashore
she saw another whale afar off, and she
jumped into an argonaut shell and went to
the whale to ask him if he were happy.
No, lam not,' replied the whale; but
I am sure I should be if I had been made
a horse instead of being a whale. Those
beautiful creatures do not have to wait upon
themselves; they are fed and tended, and
their coats brushed to shine like the sun.
No harpooners pursue them ; they live in
plenty, and die in peaceful old age."
It is very strange,' said the fairy, 'that
every one should be unhappy where God
has placed them; how true it is that each
one knows his own sorrows better than an-_
other,'
She granted the whale his wish, and
flew away, well contented that she had
that day done three benevolent actions.
The following year the kind-hearted
fairy sought out the creatures she had
changed, and asked them if they were very
happy.
Oh, I was very silly,'. said the cow,
when I changed the petty troubles I
had known and tried, for greater ones I
had never heard of. I was a fool to think
there was more freedom in the air than on
the earth. I have lived in perpetual ter
ror of hawks and the guns. Oh, I wish I
were a cow again.'
How to Procure a Husband.
The following true story might, perhaps,
furnish matter for a little comedy, if corn-
edies were still written in England. It is
generally the case that the more beautiful
and the richer a young female is, the more
difficult are both her parents and herself
in the choice of a husband, and the more
offers they refuse ! The one is too tall, ,
the other too short, this not wealthy, that
not respectable enough. Meanwhile one
spring passes after another, and year after I
year carries away leaf after leaf of the
bloom of youth, and opportunity after - op-
portunity. Miss Harriet Selwood was the 1
richest heiress in her native town ; but she
had already completed her twenty-ninth
year, and beheld almost all her young
friends united to men Ahom she had at one
time or other discarded. Harriet began to
be set down for an old-maid. Her parents
became really uneasy, and she herself la
, mented in private a iiitsition which is not
a mutual one, and to which those to whom
nature and fortune have been niggardly
of their gifts are obllgtd to submit ; but
Harriet, as we have said, was both hand
some and very rich. Such was the state
of things when her uncle, a wealthy mer
chant in the north of England, came on a
visit to her parents. He was a jovial,
lively, straightforward.man, accustomed
to attack all difficultierboldly and coolly.
You see,' said her, father to him one
! day, ' Harriet continu64l single. The girl
!is handsome ; what she is to have for her
fortune you know ; even in this scandal
loving town, not a creature can breathe the
slightest imputation against her ; and yet
she is getting to be an old-maid
True,' replied the uncle; but look
you, brother, the grand point in every af
fair in this world is to seize the right mo
ment; but let the girl go along with me,
and before the end of three months I will
return her to you as the wife of a man as
young and wealthy as herself.'
Away went the niece with the uncle.—
On the way home, he thus addressed her :
Mind what I am going to say. You
are no longer Miss' Selwood, but Mrs.
Lumley, my niece, a young, wealthy, child
less widow. You had the misfortune to
lose your husband, Colonel Lumley, after
a union of a quarter of a year, by a fall
from his horse while hunting.'
But uncle—'
Let me manage, if you please,Mrs.
Lumley. Here, lok you, is the wdding
ring given you by your late husband.—
; Jewels, and whatever else you need, your
aunt will supply yet with ; and accustom
Lypurself.to cast down your eyes'
The'Sien-witted uncle introduced his
niece everywhere, and the young widow
excited a great sensation. The young gen
!
I tlemen thronged about her, and she soon
I had her choice out of twenty suitors. Her
uncle advised her to take the one who was
deepest in love with her, and a rare chance
decreed that this should be precisely the
the most amiable and opulent. The match
was soon concluded, and one day the un
cle desired to say a few words to his future
nephe* in private.
'My dear sir,' he began, we have told
you an untruth.'
How so ? Are Mrs. Lumley's affec
tions— --
Nothing of the kind. My niece is sin
cerely attached to you.'
Then her fortune, I suppose, is not
equal to what you told-me
On the contrary, it is larger.'
Well, what is the matter, then 1'
A joke, an innocent joke, which came
into my head one day when I was in a good
humor--we could not well recall it after
ward. My niece is not a widow.'
What ! is Colonel Lumley living 1,
_
, No, no, she is a spinster.'
The lover protested that he was a hap
pier fellow than he had conceived himself;
and the old-maid was forthwith metamor
phosed into a young wife.
Kissing.
Squire, you are older than I, and I sup
pose you will think all this kind of thing
is clear sheer nonsense ; but depend upon
it, a kiss is a great mystery. There is
many a thing we know we can't explain,
still we are sure it is a fact for all that.—
Why should there be a sort of magic in
shaking hands, which seems only a mere
form, and sometimes a painful one, too;
for some folks wring your fingers off al
most, and make you fairly dance with pain,
they hurt you so. It don't give you much
pleasure at any time. What the magic of
it is we can't tell, but so it is for all that.
It seems only a custom, like bowing, and
nothing else ; still there is more in it than
meets the eye.
But a kiss fairly electrifies you; it
warms your blood and sets your heart to
beatin' like' a bass drum and make your
eyes twinkle like stars on a frosty night.
It ain't a thing to be forgot. No language
can express it, no letters will give the
sound. Then what in nature is equal to
the flavor of it 1 What an aroma it has !
It ain't gross, for you can't feed on it. It
don't cloy, for the palate ain't required to
test its taste. It is neither visible, nor
tangible, nor portable, nor transferable.—
It is not a substance, nor a liquid, nor a
vapor. It has neither color nor form.—
Imagination can't conceivelt. It can't be
imitated nor forged. It is confined to no
clime or country, but is übiquitous.
It is disembodied when completed, but
instantly reproduced and so it is immortal.
It is as old as the creation, and yet is as
young and fresh as over. It pre-exists,
still exists and always will exist. It
pervades all nature. The breeze as it
passes kisses the rose, and the pendent
vine stoops down and hides with its ten
drilt its blushes, as it kisses the limpid
stream that waits in an eddy to meet it,
and raise its tiny waves like anxious lips
to receive it. Depend upon it, Eve learn
ed it in Paradise, and was taught'its beau
ties, virtues and varieties by an angel,
there is something so transcendant. How
it is adapted to all circumstances ! There
is a kiss of welcome and of parting, the
long lingering, loving present one, the sto
len or the mutual one, the kiss of love, of
joy, and of sorrow, the seal of promise, and
the receipt of fulfilment. Is it strange,
therefore, that a woman is invincible whose
armory consists of kisses, smiles and tears?
Is it any wonder that poor old Adam was
first tempted, and then ruined? It is very
easy for preachers to get up with long
faces and tell us that we ought to have
been more of a man. My on opinion is,
if he had been less of a man it would
have been better for him. But I am not
going' to preach ; so I will get back to my
story ; but; Squire, I shall always main
tain to my dying day, that kissing is a
sublime mystery.-Sane Slick.
THE LANCASTER. INTELLIGENCER
JOB PRINTING ESTABLISHMENT,
No. 8 NORTH DUKE STREET, LANCASTER, PA.
The Jobbing Department is thoroughly furnished with
now and elegant type of every description,• and to under
the charge of a practical and experienced Job Printer.—
The Proprietors are prepared to
PRINT CHECKS,
NOTES, LEGAL BLANKS,
CARDS AND CIRCULARS,
BILL lIEADS AND HANDBILLS,
PROGRAMMES AND POSTERS,
PALER BOOKS AND PAMPHLETS,
BALL TICKETS AND INVITATIONS,
PRINTING IN COLORS AND PLAIN PRINTING,
with neatness, accuracy and dispatch, on the most reasons
bin terms, and in is manner not excelled by auy establish.
moot in the city.
cif- Orders from a distance, by mail or otherwise
promptly attended to. Address •
GEO. SANDERSON A SON,
lutnlligencer Mee,
No.B North Duke street, Lancaster, Pa.
T)
11 0 P O G It AP A Y
IN ALL ITS BRANCHES.
Executed in the beet style known in the Wt., At
C. G. CRANE'S GALLERY
632 ARCH STEEL; EAST in SIXTH, YUILADIMPLIII.
LIFE SIZE IN OIL AND PASTIL.
STEREOSCOPIC PORTRAITS,
Anibrotypul, Dagverreety pen, Lc., for Cases, Medallions
ins, Rinke, kc. [mer 19 2ly
GOLD PENS
GOLD PEN'S!
GOLD PENS!
Fuow TELE BEST IVIANCIPAOTORIES IN THE COUNTRY.
The Celebrated BAGLEY PENS (C. F. Newton it Co'n)
in great varieties, with holders to eorrescond.
BARREL PENS,
LONG NIBS,
and SIIORT NIBS,
To cult the style or wishes of the purchaser.
"'rip TOP" GOLD PENS.
These excellent Pens, manufactured by Dawson, Warren
& Hyde, always ou hand and for sale at prices to snit the
times, at
J. M. SVESTIIAFFEW.3
Cheap Book Storo
ap 21 If 15
1 ) U I L D I N G SL A Th.:
THE BEST QUALITIES IN TILE MARKET.
The undersigned, having made arrangements with Mr
It. JONES, for all his beat quality of PEACH Borrom
SLATE, for this market; and a similar arrangement with
the proprietors of six of the principal and Lest quarries in
York county, he has Just received a • largo lot of these
superior quantities of Building Slate, which will be put
on by the square, or sold by the ton, on the most reason
able terms. Also, constantly on hand, an EXTRA LIGHT
PEACH BOTTOM SLATE, Intended for Slating on Shingle
Roofs.
As these qualities of Slate aro THE BEST IN TILE
MARKET, Builders and others will Bud It to their interest
to cull and examine samples, at my office in WM. D.
STRECKER'S, Nees Agricultural and Seed Ware.rooms.
GEO. D. SPRECIIER,
No. 28 East King 5t.,2 doors West of the Court House.
Ala-This in to certify that I do hot sell my best quality
of Pesch Bottom Gnaged Slate to any other pereon to
Lancaster, thou 800. D. Sprechur, as above stated.
IL JONES,
Manufacturer of Peach Bottom Roofing Slate.
fob 25 ly
VIE DAILY EVENING JOURNAL
AND THE
IGERELY DEMOCRATIC LEADER
These Democratic papers, lately published by Albert D.
Boileau. (whose coonection therewith has entirely ceased,)
are now published and edited by CHARLES N. PINE and
ALFRED E. LEWIS, and will, hereafter, be conducted fear.
lessly, as ORGANS OP THE OREAT DEMOCRATIC PARTY. They
will defend the principles of the Constitution, the RIGHTS
OF THE STATES, and the liberties of the people.
The Evening Journal is published every afternoon, (Sun.
day's excepted,) at $6 per. annum, or $3 for six mouths.,
payable In advance. It contains spirited articles on the
political questions of the day, with all the current news,
Alarket and Stock reports, and all such matter as is usual
ly found In a Daily Newspaper.
The Weekly Democratic Leader is a large doublesshest
paper, containing eight pages, forty-eight columns of read.
ing matter,
and is furnished at the following rates:
Single Copies, ono year, - - - $2.00
Two • "
Three " - - - 5.00
Five ss ss
Twenty "
Thirty " " - - - 42.00
Fifty. " " - - - 7500 .
The Democrats of Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware,
And New Jersey, It is hoped will exert themselves to give
the Lux= a large &striation. Address
PINE .4 LEWIS,
No. 101 South Third St., Philadelphia.
SW" Write for sample numbers, which will be promptly
furnished, gratis..
Country newspapers publishing the obese advertisement
shall be entitled to the DAILY EVENING JOURNAL In
exchange. P. A-L.
mar 24
St 13,
TAT %%EWALD'S HEAVE POWDER
- PrTwdired IWrin, Antimony, Fennigrees,
&input* AsimfortidA,Atau, L. For "Aleut • ' .
apr2lttlf THOMABEra.el Agpg r
- Drug and Cfbasitcal Store, Wed Einq
ft OXLEY'S LADY'S BOOK FOR 1868.
Ur GREAT LITERARY AND PICTORIAL YEAR.
The publisher of Galley's Lady's Book, thankful to that
public which has enabled him to publish • =wino for
the last thirty-three years of a larger circulation than any
in America, has made an arrangement with themoat popu
lar authoress In this country—
MARION HARLAND,
Authoress of "Alone," "Hidden Path," "Moss Side,"
"Nemesia," and " Miriam,"
who will furnish a story for every number of the Lady's
Book for 1863. This alone will place the Lady's Book in a
literary point of view far ahead of any other=pita, .
Marion Harland writes for no other publication. Our other
favorite writers will all continue to furnish Bitola
throughout the year.
THE BEST LADY'S MAGAZINE IN THE .WORLD, AND
THE CHEAPEST.
THE LITERATURE
is of that kind that can be read aloud in the fkmlly circle,
and the clergy in Immense numbers are imbeeribere for the
Book.
THE MUSIC
is all original, and would cost 25 cents (the, price of the
Book) in the mimic dares; but moat of it le copyrighted,
and cannot be obtained except in “Godey."
OUR STEEL ENGRAVINGS. •
All efforts to rival us in this have ceased, and we now
stand alone in this department, giving, as we do, many
more and infinitely better engravings than are published
in any other work.
GODEV'S IMMENSE DOUBLE SHEET BABBION-
BERRI
From five to seven fall length Colored Faahlons on each
plate. Other lumpish:tee We, only two.
FAR AHEAD OF ANY FASHIONS IN EUROPE: OR
AILF,BIOA.
Godey's is the only work In the world that gives these
mmense plates, and they are such as to have excited the
wonder of publishers and tho public. The publication of
heseplates coat
$lO,OOO MORE
than fasbion•plates of the old style, and nothing but our
wonderfully large circulation enables us to give them.
Other magazines cannot afford It. We never spare money
when the public can be benefited.
These fashions may be relied on. Dresses may be made
after them, and the wearer will not subject herself to ridln
tole, as would be the case if she visited the large cities
dressed after the style of the plates given in some of our
so-called magazines.
OUR WOOD ENGRAVINGS,
of which we give twice or three times as many assay other
magazine, aro often mistaken for steel. They are so far
superior to any oth re. .
IMITATIONS
Beware of them. Remember that the Lady's Rook Is the
original publication and the cheapest. If yea take Godey,
you want no other magazine.
Everything that Is useful or ornamental In it house can
be found In Clocley.
DRAWING LESSONS.
No other magazine gives them, and we have enouitt to
fill several large volumes. .
OUR RECEIPTS
are such as can be found nowhere else. Cooking In 'all Its
variety--Confectionery---the Nursery—the Tollet--the
Laundry—NM Kitchen. Receipts upon subjects are to
be found in the pages of the Lady's Book.. We originally
started this department, and have peculiar facilities for
making it moat perfect. This department 'alone is worth
the price of the Book.
..
LADIES' WORK TABLET
This department comprises engravings and descriptions
of every article that a lady wears.
MODEL COTTAGES.
No other magazine has this department
TEEMS : CASH IN ADVANGE
One copy one year, $3. Two copies one year, $5. Three
copies one year, $6. Four copies one year $7.
Five copies one year, and an extra copy to the person
sending the club, $lO.
Eight copies one year, and an extra copy to the person
sending the club, $l5.
Eleven copies one year, and an extra copy to the person
sending the club, $2O.
And the only magazine that can be introduced into the
above clubs in place of the Lady's Book Is Arthur's Home
Magazine.
SPECIAL CLUBBING WITH OTHER MAGAZINES.
Godey's Lady's Book and Arthur's home Magazine both
one year for $3 50.
Godey'e Lady's Book and Harper's Magazine both one year
for $4.50.
Godoy, Harper,
and Arthur will all three be sent one year,
on receipt of $6.00.
Treasury Notes and Notes of all solvent banks taken at
par.
Be careful and pay the postage on your letter.
Address, L. A. GODEY,
323 Chestint Street, Philadelphia, Pa
Cm 41
HOLIDAY PRESNNTSZ
JOHN SHEAFFER,
No. 32, NORTH QUEEN STREET,
would respectfully solicit the attention of his Patrons and
the Puhho to his
SPLENDID ASSORTMENT OF HOLIDAY BOOKS,
PREPARED AND ARRANGED EXPRESSLY FOR THE
FESTIVE SEASON
The Stock coruprlees
STANDARD,
MISCELLANEOUS,
AND JUVENILE BOOKS,
n nmny beautiful and elegant styles of binding.
LIBRARY EDITIONS °ETRE REST AUTHORS.
PRAYER-BOOKS AND BIBLES.
[English and American Edition.l
We have
Books for Christmas Presents,
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All the writings of every standard author In every de
partment of Literature, in every style of binding, can be
procured at Publishers' Prices.
PHOTOGRAPH ALBUMS,
A new stock just received from Celebrated Manufactnrers.
The Largest and Best Assortment In the city, ranging In
prices from 76 cents to $2O; bound In the very best style,
with Linen Guards. Albums for the Pocket and Centre
Table, Oblong Albums, Imperial Quarto Albums. New
styles received daily.
THE AMERICAN SUNDAY SCHOOL UNION HOLIDAY
BOORS, JUST PUBLISHED.
OVER 100 NEW BOOKS—ALL ILLUSTRATED.
Books for Girls,
Books of,Gumor,
Books,rif Ilistory,
Books about Heroes,
Books about Indians,
Books about Soldiers,
Books about Farmers,
Fplemild Annuals,
Handsome Albums
JUVENILE DEPARTMENT
This department comprises the moot complete and the
most extensive stock of Books Suitable for the Little Polka
to be fornid In the city.
•
• -
GAMES! GAMESII
of every description at low prices.
Toy Books of all Kinds,
Writing Desks, Rosewood and Mahogany,
II YIFIN BOOKS!
METHODIST, LUTHERAN,
PRESBYTERIAN, RETORMED, LO.
Those pers.na desiring it, can make their selections now,
and have the packages laid aside till Christmas.
Call and see for yourself, at SILEAFFER93,
dec 16 tf 49J 32 North Queen street, Lancaster
ILLUSTRATED
SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN
THE BEST MECHANICAL PAPER IN THE WORLD.
EIGHTEENTH !YEAR
VOLUME VIII.-NEW SERIES
A new volume of this popular Journal commences on
the first of January. It is published weekly, and every
number contains sixteen pages of useful information, and
from five to ten original engravings of now invenllonss
discoveries, all of which are prepared expressly for
columns.
TO THE MECHANIC AND MANUFACTURER.
No person engaged in any of the mechanical or mann.
factoring pursuits should think of "doing without" the
Scientific American. It costs but six cents per week;
every number contains from six to ten engravings of new
machines and inventions, which can not be found in any
other publication.
TO TUE INVENTOR.
The Scientific American is Indispensable to every in.
ventor, as it not only contains Illustrated descriptions of
nearly all the best inventions as they come out, but each
number contains an Official List of the Claims of all the
Patents issued from the United States Patent Office during
the week previous; thus giving, a correct history of the
progress of inventions in this country. We are also re.
ceiving, every week, the best scientific journals of Great
Britain, France and Germany; thus placing in our posses
sion all that is transpiring in mechanical science and art
in these old countries. 'We shall continue to transfer to
our column, copious extracts from these journals of What=
ever we may deem of interest to bur readers.
A pamphlet of instruction as M the best mode of ob•
Mining Letters Patent on new , Inventions, is furnished
free on application.
Moms. Munn do Co., have acted as Patent Solicitors for
more than seventeen years, in cOnnection with the publi
cation of the Scientific American, and they refer to 20,000
patentees for whom they have done business.
No charge is made for examining sketches and models of
new inventions and for advising inventors as to their
patentability.
CHEMISTS, ARCDTPROTS, MILLWRIGHTS .ASID
FARMERS.
The Scientific American will be found a most useful
journal to them. All the new discoveries in the science of
chemistry are giving in its columns, and the interests of
the architect and Carpenter are not overlooked; all the new
inventions and discoveries appertaining to theme pursuits
being published from week to week. Useful and practical
information pertaining to the interests of millwrights and
mill-owners will be found in the Scientific American, which
information theY can not possibly obtain from any other
source. Subjects in which ferment , are interested will be
found discussed in the Scientific American; most of the
improvements in agricultural implements being Illustrated
in its columns. •
T 13 R 31: S :
To mall subscribers: Three Dollars asear, or One Dollar
for four months. The volumes commence on the first of
Jannary atur.ltily. Specimen cOples will be sent gratis to
any part of the country.
WeS tern and NO full= money or Post...office stamps take •
at par for subscriptions.. Canadian subscribers willplras
to remit twenty-five cents extra :on each year's subsoil
Lion to pre-pay postage. ! 11f13NN OM, • . :
Pnblishen3, 37 Park Row, N. Y.
if 49
THE AMERICAN ANNUAL' CYCLO;
PAWLS. ANIIItMESTEBOPIMPOBTANTwiriorra
OF THE YEAR 1881.
Embracing 'Politleal, * OPril;MMtary &cur Am i d*
Public Documents; Biography, Statistics, 431.2 m.
',name; Finance, Literature, Science, Uri.: • •
and Mechanical Indrurtry,'
The volume will be in the style of the American
Oyclopredla, having not lees 760 piggy royal Bvo.
Alto) work will be published tkolweively•by`ellhaellefon
andlta exterior appearance will beat once elegant skto
atantial.P CIL
D. APLETON k , New York .
ELLIS BAAS& :
No. 8 East Ring Street,—
Aitt , p for Lancaster City and Co
apr 16 Ul4]
, NO. 17.
Port Folios