Lancaster intelligencer. (Lancaster [Pa.]) 1847-1922, May 06, 1862, Image 1

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VOL. Lxm
THE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER.
ULXSSSD VVBBY YraSDAY, AY VO. 8 IfOBTH DUS* SSEllf.
3T 6EO. BANDEESOS.
T.B EH 8
Bcbscmptios. —Two Dollars par annom, payable in ad*
vance. No subscription discontinued- until all arrear
age are paid, unless at (be option of the Editor.
AnvxanflntiUß.—AdTertlsements, not exceeding one
square, (12 lines,) will be inserted three?times for one
dollar, and twenty-five cents for each additional lnser
: tlon. Those of greater length in proportion.
Job Pbcttiiio—Bnch as Hand Bills,.Posters,.Pamphlets,
Blanks, Labels, Ac., Ac., executed with accuracy and on
the shortest notice.
HOPE.
Hope’s a deoeitfal, lying brute!
X proved her saoh long years ago;
She often says she'll give me fruit,
But all I ever get's a blow.
She told me, when a little one
Do school barefooted running,
That life was one long day of fun;
I now know she was ‘ funning.'
(It little seems like fun or play,
This being dunned and dunning,
Or'twixt the banks, from day to day,
Kept like a river, running.)
And when a bigger boy I grew,
Of wrestling I was fond, I own,
Beoause Hope said she'd 1 see me through : ’
She only meant she'd see me thrown.
In every fight or Tunning match,
(By scores I’ve made snob matches,)
Hope led me to the ‘ score’ or ( scratch,’
But left me, scored with scratches.
I’ve fared no better with the fair,
The dear, tormenting oreatures!
I’ve loved in turn all shades of hair,
All styles of feet and features.
Hope told me little brown-haired Sun,
To whom I was a suitor,
Would have me: when I asked her to,
She said £ didn’t suit her!
With feelings hurt and heart nigh riven,
I really knew not what to do:
My wretched self I'd then have given,
And gladly, for a single Sins.
Hope led me next tall Jake to court,
But she ( the question' parried,
Six months or more, just for the sport,
Then told me she was married!
And thus by Hope each flame is fanned,
Whene'er by love I’m smitteo,
Until at last X ask a hand,
But all I get’s the mitten!
From the Kniokerbooker.
A ‘GOOD TIME GENERALLY’
ON A FARM.
HOW I COMMENCED < COUNTRY LITE.’
I am a farmer. They called me a ‘ city
farmer,’ when I first ‘ went at it.’ I use
Mapes’ subsoil plough; I have a horse
power and mowing-machine: also machines
for threshing, sawing, churning, etc., etc.
I dig potatoes and hoe corn.
My friend the Colonel tells me the
Knickerbocker never publishes communi
cations from a farmer’s pen. Very like
ly ; but 1 shall nevertheless ‘ let her
slide.’
I was always particularly foni of the
country. When a child I used to dream
of broad green fields, waving grain, clover,
the humming of bees ; flowers, strawber
ries and oream, and pork-and-beans. Hay
making was superb : drinking warm milk
magnificent. At college I wrote many
essays on the subject. My oration at the
Junior Exhibition was ‘ The Country;’ and
at Commencement,«The Dignity of Labor.’
I reoeived the degree of A. 8., (rendered
by a class-mate, who had the Latin Oration,
‘A. Buster.’) I spent a year in the
country; went West; got lost on a ‘ grand
prairie-hens by the bushel,
and finally wound up my tour by purchas
ing three ‘ eighties.’
Returning, entered a law-office ; read
all the books on ‘ Real Estate,’ from
Blaokstone to Hilliard ; was admitted to
the Bar; and wound up that affair, by
falling head-over-heels in love with a very
beautiful and accomplished girl.
I*had chosen law as a profession, and it
was arranged that we should be married as
soon as 1 was established in business. I
was troubled with many doubts about my
oapaeity for the law. I could pettifog
tolerably well: my preoeptor said I would
oertainly suooeed, and make a good lawyer;
and he being a Judge, should have judged
oorreotly. 1 rather thought not. I had
many longings for a rural life : heard many
constantly speaking of it in the highest
terms : What life so delightful as a farm
er’s ? what profession so lucrative ? what
life afforded so muoh leisure for reading,
thinking, writing, and having a good time
generally 1 so free from oare and vexation
of spirit 1 Every one wished for a farm;
every one was going to retire to a farm,
and fatten his own pigs, as soon as he could
arrange his affairs for so doing.
1 began to think of the subject; beoame
exoited; was more and more impressed
with the idea that this was my vocation ; a
country life was one 1 had always liked :
what a fool to force myself out of the di
rection of my natural tastes! I could
work, and should be getting a stock of
health very different from that usually ac
quired.in an office. I talked over the mat
ter with my ‘ intended.’ She was delighted
with the idea: ‘it was so sweet to be
always in the oountry ; to run over the
fields; to wander through wood and brake,
and recline under shady trees : ‘patulcc
; recubans rub tegmine fagi :’ to always have
horses at one’s command; to feed and
fondle animals, and raise poultry : and
then, should we not always be together ?
Oh ! ecstaoy ! Do let us go and live on
a farm!
Of course we were fitted for farm-life,
it was so very simple. We could and
would work : but that would be necessary
only for a very few years : for was it not
lucrative—very, very lucrative 1 And
then what pleasure to work for those we
love, and that work, too, on a farm. We
should live so cozily, could read so many
books together during the long winter eve
nings, while the winds were whistling, and
the snow drifting against the windows.
That conversation, and the two soft
arms around my neok, with several kisses,
decided the matter, and made me a farmer :
& farmer and dairyman of Herkimer county.
In the valley of the Mohawk, near a
thriving village, almost surrounded by hills
whioh nearly rise to the dignity of moun
tains, lay one hundred aores, which had
belonged to my family. It was in a very
romsgtic region; a lovely spot for poet or
painter.
The farm was mine, under the will of
my most excellent father. I had offered it
for sale many times, ohiefly through a
tenant, who rented the premises at one
hundred dollars per annum- He bad been
on the place several years; was always
talking of leaving; thought the rent high,
and said'he; labored incessantly to' find me
purohaser. Ho purchaser ever came, and
how 1 blessed my stars that he never had
oome.
I packed up my trunk and started for
Herkimer County; It was in August:
we were in the midst of a ‘heated term;’
no_ rain ; not a, breath of air: the great
: Wb oatoe out evcry/day ball; of
fire s' the very pavements sc«ijhe&; jour
feet. Arrived at the farm, I found they
were busy at haying. How. pleasant it
was to be in the country! Here was air,
room, and shade—beautiful scenery, hill,
dale, and waving woodland. How the
lusty arms rolled np the hay; how oheerily
the work went on; what appetites, what
health. I felt 1 had chosen rightly : in
the country only was happiness to be
found. I ran over my farm: was struck
with the great quantity of stones lying
about in all direotioiis : never had noticed
it before. I frequently heard the mowers
exclaim, ‘ R-i-p ! there she goes!’ fol
lowed by some very large words, as the
Bharp scythe grappled with and endeavored
to deoapitate a ‘ hard head.’ I thought
the large boy who had charge of the grind
stone earned his money ; and subsequent
experience in that line has confirmed that
impression. I saw a sort of rubbish in
olosing several fields: was told it was a
fence, though my tenant added that he
had for the last few years used a boy
and dog as fencing material; he fonnd
it ‘ a good institution;’ less laborious
and less expensive than rails : ‘ they did
the thing up to the handle.’
The buildings would have delighted an
artist. I could discover no doors to the
barns : their places were supplied by rails
thrown aoross, forming a very substantial
fence. On one side of the large barn I
counted three boards ; but then that side
; was already filled with hay, and the roof
. was good. The house was in somewhat
! better condition; many of the windows
i had been boarded up, which my tenant
| said, made it muoh cooler in summer and
i warmer in winter; ‘ too many windows
: made it bad.’ It was an old-fashioned
! house, solidly put together, and had re
' slated time and tenants tolerably well,
j There were a few noble trees standing
in the lawn, but the shrubbery had long
since fallen before the bon vivans of the
herd: not a vestige remained ; for this
being the best inclosed part of the farm,
was used as a night-pasture and general
‘ pound.’
1 had fifteen hundred dollars in bank :
this was the amount of my oapital. I had
intended it for the purchase of my law
library, and setting up in business, but on
a farm fifteen hundred dollars would go a
long way.
1 determined to repair the house and
out-buildings ; and thought I oould do it
for two hundred dollars ; I had several
carpenters to examine and make estimates.
They thought it could be done : selected
four : they, did not like to work by the job:
job-work never gave satisfaction : advised
me to hire by the day. Hired by the day,
and went to work in earnest. We tore
down and put up ; shingled, undersilled,
and put in beams: teams were set drawing
lumber, and lime, and stone, and sand,
and brick. Went into the woods and
chopped, and scored, and hewed; the oxen
hauled it down : the whole lawn was cov
ered with the long, smooth stioks. A
foolish neighbor thought we were ‘ going
to build a village ;’ but my head oarpenter
soon showed him that he ‘ did n’t know
quite so muoh as he thought he did.’
Ah me ! were not *thoae rare times ?
Was it not delightful to work on a farm ;
to build one’s own house; to sit down
among the olean chips in the shady grove,
and take our luncheon from the great bas
ket ? What a scrambling for the best
blocks and slabs, on which to sit and plaoe
our food; jack-knives were at a premium.
And then the sound of the horn winding
and echoing along the hills ; the dropping
of sharp bright axes; the walk through
the fields; the hearty meal; the song, the
souffles ! Ah ! yes :
A fabiieb’s life is the,life, my boys,
The life, my boys, the life, my boys:
A farmer’s life, and a farmer’s wife,
Free from care and free from strife.
With plenty of girls and plenty of boys,
Yon get all the joys without all the noise
Of the world. Hurrah! Hurrah!
Hurrah for a life on the farm!
I have a slight impression that that song
was sung several times by the wood-chop
pers and myself that season, and it seemed
to be very pleasant out in the deep woods.
I sometimes thought the trees would tum
ble down when we got into the chorus, but
they did n’t.
On the first of November the whole
affair was finished ; and the boys celebra
ted that event by getting all the girls in
the neighborhood together, and ‘ raking it
down ’ to the time of two violins. I had
never seen ‘ real dancing ’ before : the
whole earth shook under the vigorous
shuffling ‘of the light fantastic toe but
the carpenters assured me the out-build
ings were safe, and would stand.
Daring the early part of the evening I
lost the extremities of my best eoat, at
‘ oatoh me who can;’ they parted just at
the waist; and so great was the tramping
of feet that I did not disoover the loss
until 1 had gone several times round the
ring, and gaining on my fair pursuer, came
up behind and saw the blaok dags waving
over her head. French broadcloth stood
below par at that market: but then I saw
many pleasant faces looking at me during
the rest of the night.
My tenant next morning informed me he
had cleared by the operation seven dollars
and fourteen cents, and that he considered
‘ a fuddle ’ ‘ a good institution,’ especially
if ‘ every thing was done up to the han
dle.’ Settled with carpenters, masons,
laborers, tradesmen, eto. etc., and found
by careful estimation that I was out of
poeket just nine hundred and thirty one
dollars and one cent, all told. The head
carpenter ‘ could not believe itsaid
‘there must be a mistake.’ I thought
very likely, for bank aooounts are usually
incorrect, and addition ‘ is a hard road to
travel, I believe.’
That fall we put up quite a string of
fence with hewed timber, and it looked
remarkably neat and substantial. Pur
chased hay, grain, etc., of my tenant; and
by calling the last year’s rent fifty dollars,
he agreed to vacate the premises. Hired
a man to take charge of the farm; went
home ; was married; shipped all kinds of
furniture and ourious things ; bid good-by
to our friends, and was off to our new
home.
We arrived on - the fifteenth of Decem
ber. There had been a fall of snow, and
we came np from the village in an open
sleigh. The day was lovely; the air deli
oious ; and how beautiful the hills looked.
Millions of frosty gems flashed from the
trees; and what a maghifioent prospect
from the lawn. ‘ Was it not a truly de‘
lightfnl spot?’ ‘and How glorious it must
be in ! Manner.’
1 We were very busy and very happy in
arranging ourfurniture, Hooka, pictures,
etc., etoj i /My rmaniluid filled )the, «ellar
'* •> Zf -
“THAI COUHTRY IBTHB HOOT PSOSFKBOUB WHBBB LABOR OOHHANDB THB QRRATRST RBWARD.”-
LANCASTER CITY, PA., TUESDAY MORNING, MAY 6, 1862.
with fruit and vegetables, hauled up the
winter’s wood, and put up the stoves.
Every body called on us, and we re
turned every body’s call. We congratula
ted ourselves many times on our pleasant
home and bright prospeots for the future.
I was advised to go into the dairy busi
ness, as easy, pleasant, and very, profitable.
My neighbor—pious and estimable oitizen
—came up one day and informed me that
he was going out of the business: his land
needed ploughing; he had fifty cows, and
proposed selling one-half of the best to
me; would work off the rest to droveTs,
etc. I went down and looked at the
animals; selected some of the finest-look
ing, but was told they were nearly worth
less for milk—didn’t wish to take.advan
tage of me. 1 agreed to let him piok me
out twenty-four of the choioo oows, mid
paid for them ‘ according.’ Drove the
cows home: heard a few days after that
my neighbor had.ohanged his mind about
ploughing np; wouldn’t sell any more cows,
but would buy to replace those sold, and
‘ run his dairy another season.’ The indi
vidual smiled when he told me : probably
he was pleased at the great amount of
butter and cheese I should make from my
animals.
My man told me he feared there was
hardly hay enough' for stook : told him to
feed carefully, and see that nothing was
wasted. Occasionally locked at my stock :
notioed them particularly in the spring.—
Never saw a greater number of ribs in one
collection—never. Was perfectly satis
fied that nothing had been wasted in the
shape of fodder. Commenced feeding
grain : was called away, and waß absent
several days. Attended oonnty oourt:
came baok and found twenty very small
oows and oxen shut up together in one- of
the empty barns. They were crying most
piteously,and my whole dairy sympathising
with them, ‘ brayed horrible discord : ’
* Attentive to their ory, my I lab’rer’ paused
And turned to me his visage, and then spake:’
Learned that the miniature animals had
had no food for the last two days : expos
tulated with him for suoh barbarity, and
was told that this was the eourse pursued
by the best dairymen to obtain a good
‘runnet.’ What in the deuce was that ?
It was explained : toward., evening made
some remarks to wife, on the sufferings of
the animal creation in general, and of ours
in particular. She became very muoh ex
oited ; said it was a ‘ burning shame; ’
that the ‘ poor little darlings’ should be
fed ; and hastened to the barn to give
orders and see them obeyed; finished
shaving and followed after. Met wife re
turning, and weeping bitterly. 1 couldn’t
disoover for some time what it was all
about; but at length gathered between the
sobs that there was not even ‘ one little
bossy’ in the barn ; nothing but two long
rows of hides : she said the brute of a man
was laughing heartily, althongh for her
part she oould not tell at what. Com
forted my little wife, and went on to the
barn, where I- found a load of the ‘ poor
little darlings’ stripped of their habili
ments, and laid out in state on’ a stone
boat, preparatory to being hauled to their
last resting-place in the deep and quiet
wood. How ghastly they looked—poor
babes, they had
- { an obscure funeral
No trophy, sword, nor hatchment o’er their bones,
No noble rite, nor formal ostentation.’
I commenoed learning to milk: felt
somewhat timid on my one-legged seat,
under an animal: couldn’t get the stream
into the pail. My hands became painful,
but I was determined to learn : so I ex
erted all my strength; when suddenly ‘ the
stars shone : ’ I was felled to the earth ;
the milk flew, and the pail and stool were
trodden under foot. 1 picked myself up
and left. The dairy-maid and man seemed
to me mightily tickled at something as 1
stepped" out the door : I didn’t inquire as
to what.
I noticed one day that some of my oows
were lame: they grew worse; but I couldn’t
tell what was the matter. My neighbors
saw them : they didn’t know ; but thought
it was the ‘ hoof-ail.’ I got a cow-dootor,
and he pronounoed it that disease, for
whieh there was no onre. More were taken
lame ; it was evidently going through my
whole stook : I was taken myjftlf about this'
time with a alight attaok of the blues, but
put on a ‘ stiff upper lip.’ Heard of
a large dairyman who was treating the
disease scientifically in his own dairy:
went to see him, and found him engaged at
the work. The foot of the animal was
drawn up with a rope, which was fastened
to a beam ; an assistant steadied the leg,
while ‘ the boss’ out out the centre of the
foot. The blood flowed freely, and he was
several times thrown down and against the
side of the barn. He informed me that
it was a very laborious praotiee, but that
he was determined to ‘ kill or cure.’ I
could not doubt it.
I concluded not to follow in the footsteps
of that praotidoner : went home and pro
oured ‘ Yonatt: ’ found a remedy, and ap
plied it with suooess. Subsequently I
learned that the foot-operator had drawn
out half his dairy into the woods, and
finished the business by applying a smart
stroke of the ax to the head of each
animal.
My cows became muoh weakened by the
disease. We kept the valetudinarians in
the barn ; and I here first learned the art
of lifting an animal in feeble health. My
man and I performed that pleasing opera
tion twice a day for some weeks. Grave
orders to the attendants on no aocount to
let their patients leave the barn. 1 came
home from the village one warm, sunny
day, just as the ground was breaking np,
and found three of those in ill-health
out and down. My man was exerting all
his strength at the extremity of an animal;
he ‘ could n’t come it,’ he said : I gave
him my assistance - we ‘ could n’t make a
raise.’ I think I swore ‘ somedele,’ but
I won’t be certain.
‘ WORDS well dispost,
Have secrete pouret’ appease inflamed rage/
Went into the house : wife and girl pro
posed to help. We raised the animal and
stabled her: commenced at the second,
and became excited: was not noticing any
thing about, and had got her half-way up,
when I heard a shout of laughter. My'
friend the Colonel, with a whole bevy of
ladies from the village, were surveying the
operation from their carriage. He was
anxious to learn ' how We r liked farming j
bad come up to make a' call, and see how
we were getting! along. That cow was
dropped on the spot; and I told my man
to hunt up a couple of; fellows; and get the
animals out of sight, and ‘ hereafter to
obey orders.’
This spring, horses/were ;.I had!
used through hhe wintera pairwhioh a-.
-i its? 11 ; ?'
gentleman from the village had wished, me
to take for their keeping. It was May,
and he wanted the animals. " Went about
the oountry and endeavored to get a team.
Horses were often brought to me for sale,
but they ranged too high for my purse.—
One day two men came with a pair: price
two hundred and fifty dollars ; they were
good-sized animals, and: tolerably well'
matobed. I rather liked their, appear
ance : thought I would purohase: drove
them round the lawn and put them before
a loaded wagon: they moved it easily;
were only seven years old, and seemed
kind and gentle. I was not aware then
that horses in this region never get beyond
seven years of age.
I notioed a peculiarity about the mouth
of one of the animals : * What made that
horse’s mouth look so ? ‘ Which horse ?
where ? did n’t see any thing.’ We opened
the mouth and found the lower jaw stunt
ed ; it had stopped growing after getting
half the length of its mate. The man
thought it did look a little singular, but
never thought of it before. The other
man said ‘ that was nothing;’ it was ‘ a
parrot-mouth :’ quite common in the coun
try, and was sign of a tough beast; didn’t
hurt the animal at all; and would never be
notioed.’ I examined the limbs of both,
and made an offer. That team was pur
chased ‘ at a bargain ’ for two hundred
and forty dollars, cash in hand.
I had a rare time with those oolts. Poor
old fellows! what quantities of air they
used: how they labored with the atmos
phere : wha£ blasts they blew from their
smoking nostrils !
Parrot was a mighty dainty eater of
grass ; I often saw him down on his knees
taking his meals, after he was turned out
to pasture. The Colonel oalled him the
‘ pious horse;’ but he grew thinner, and
thinner ; and I was forced to keep him in
the stable, on oats and soft mashes.
It was the tenth of May : for the last
week there, had been frequent showers.—
The snn oame out warm, and the great
snow-banks of the week before were all
gone. Vegetation began to shoot up vig
orously ; trees were putting forth their
leaves ; while the robin, the oriole, and
phmbe-bird were busy building their nests
in the branohes, and filling the air with
melody.
Our oows were turned out to pasture ;
they were now perfectly healthy, and in
tolerable condition, but gave very littte
milk. We expected, however, from the
ohange of food, to have a tremendous in
crease, and then cheese-making would
oommenoe. Parrot and his mate were
harnessed and attaehed to one of Mason’s
best ploughs, and brought round to the
garden ; ' and I for the first time really
took hold of the handles of that implement
with the full determination not to look
baok; for the spring had opened and
farm-work was now to commenoe in earn
est.
And this Is the way I oommeneed farm
ing.
About Pockets.
Pockets are a marked feature of civilized
life. The history is the history of humani
ty, and a catalogue of their successive con
tents would furnish a condensed biography.
There were no pookets in the fig-leaf of
Eden ; our first parents had no need to
hoard or appropriate, for the trees and
herbage of tho garden offered them freely
all their simple wealth. There were no
pookets in Adam’s first blouse of skinß,
for as yet he had no knife wherewith to
oat tobacoo, and was innooently ignorant
of the potenoy of the marvelous weed.
But when life grew hard and human inter
ests oonfiioting, then the poeket became a
developed institution, a receptacle for the
means of daily solace, amenity and con
venience. It is a social, not selfish insti
tution. It contains supplies, not hoards.
The treasures of the miser are buried in a
vault; while the subsidies of the pocket
are appropriately known as change. From
its warmest corner comes tb.e penny for the
street-sweeper, the toys for the fireside,
and the weekly gratuity for oharities of
every kindly name.
But the most oharacteristio deposits are
not in money. Children prefer the oon
orete to the abstraot, the end to the means.
While the little man wears the dress of his
sister, his pookets, like hers, is filled with
cakes and candies. But very soon he seeks
a wider range of activities, and the sweet
meats, not yet ignored, disputes possession
inoh by inch with jews-harps, fish-hooks,
tops, kite-strings and knives. If he is
meohanieal the knife gains a companion in
an ivory rule ; if studious, in pencils and
paper.
Then oomes the belligerent period, when
the oountry boy makes investments in
powder and shot, and the young oitizen is
an amateur in pistols and poroussion caps.
And as war .alternates with peaoe, the
tomahawk with the calumet, so about this
period, if at all, is developed a preference
for cigars and ‘ fine cut,’ but these are
noxious weeds that are liable to choke out
all healthful growth. Just as rats leave a
sinking ship, when these fragrant treasures
find their way to the pocket, indignant
moths leave the young men’s wardrobe in
disgust. It will be well if the odor does
not serve to expel more desirable visitants
than these. Then follows the youth’s
latest pooket companion, the watoh, point
ing with its golden finger the silent moral
of the time.
For the girl, her oarly sugar plums give
place to the oheap luxury of paper dolls,
soon followed by that familiar implement a
thimble. Hard upon this come the sorib
bling stage, when the pocket finds room for
pencil and paper, for notes of many pages
duly crossed, and filled with the fancies and
follies, the friendships and fashions of six
teen. It is bnt a slight change from these
romantic missives to those of a warmer hue,
the billet doux of boyish admirers, to be fol
lowed we trust by the firm'lines that bear
the frank avowal of a manly love. Yet these
last will not long remain in the pooket';
these are too precious guests for each famil
iar treatment’ and shall retire to some
inner sanctuary, set apart for . the holiest
of all. With love comes sorrow, with sor
row religion; so when our crowned woman
has hidden away her heart’s treasures,
hallowed by kissesif not by tears, amid a
shower of fallen rose-leaves, perhaps pro
phetic of their fate, she receives a now
friend, a' pocketJJtble, in their place.—
Conseorated to labor, love and duty, the
pocket thus meets tho whole round of hu
man needs. —Springfield Republican.
> The- higher you. roe, the. wider is
yourhcr^bifcV^'i'te'moro^jour^pWjthe
Jack Sink and the Yankee. ?
Few communities are more strongly im
bued with a passion for horse racing than
the good people of Nafohez. In New York
folks talk ‘ soger ’ and ‘ engine in Pariff ■
they talk horse. They believe in quadra- I
peds, and nothing else. To own the fastest!
horse in Natchez, is to enjoy the fee simple |
of ah honor in comparison with which a j
member of Congress sinks into nothingness, j
Daring one October the ‘ fall meeting ’
took plaoe, and led to more than the usual
amount of excitement and brandy eook
tails. The last race of the last day was
a sort of a ‘ free fight ’ open to every horse
that had never won a raoe ; purse §500,.
entrance fee §25.
Among those who proposed to go in,
was a Yankee pedlar, with a sorrel colt, of
rather promising proportions. He thus
addressed one of the judges :
‘ I say, captain, I should like to go in
for that puss ?’
‘ With what ?’
‘ That sorrel oolt.’
‘ Is he speedy ?’
‘ I calculate he is, or I would not wish
to risk a load of tin ware on the result.’
‘ Do you know the terms 1’
< Like, a book ; puss 500, and entrance
fee §25 —and there’s the dimes.’
Here Yankee drew oat a last century |
wallet, and sooked np two X’s and a V. |
Among those who witnessed the opera- j
tion, was Jaek Kink, of the Bellevue!
House. Jack saw his oustomer, and im
mediately measured him for an entertain
ment. After the nsnal fuss and palaver,
the horses were brought out, saddled and
prepared for a single heat of two miles.
There were eight competitors besides the
Yankee. The latter was a smart sorrel
oolt, with a very fine eye, and a lift of the '
leg that indicated speed and bottom.
1 Bring up the horses,’ said the judge.
The horses were brought up. The
Yankee gathered up his reios and adjusted
his stirrups. While doing this, Mr. Rink
went to the rear of the ‘ sorrel oolt,’’ and
placed a ohestnut-burr under his tail. The
next moment the order to ‘ go ’ was given,
and away went the nine horses, of all pos
sible ages and oonditions.
The Yankee was ahead, and kept there.
‘ Tin Ware ’ was evidently pleased the way
things were working, and smiled a smile
.that seemed to say : . .
1 That puss will be mine, in less time
than it would take a greased nigger to slide
down a soaped liberty pole.’
Poor fellow ! he hadn’t reokoned on that
ohestnut-burr. The ‘ irritant ’ that Jack
had administered not only increased the
animal’s velocity, but his ugliness to do
anything else. As the Yankee approached
the judges’ stand he undertook to pull up,
but it was no.go. He might as well have
undertaken to stop a thunderbolt with a
yard of fog.
The Yankee reaohed the stand—the
Yankee passed the stand—the Yankee
went down the road. When last seen the
Yankee was passing through the ‘ adjoin
ing country,’ at a speed that made the
people look at him as at ‘ that comet ’ that
was to make its appearance ‘ in the fall of
1854.’ Where the sorrel ‘ gin out ’it is
impossible to say. All we know is that
the Yankee has not been heard of from
that day to this, while his ‘ wagon load of
tin-ware’ still makes one of .the leading
attractions in the museum of Natchez.
The Tax Bill.—Since the report of the
tax bill, published some time since, was
given to the publio, several new amend
ments have been made to it as follows :
For kissing a pretty girl, §l.OO.
For kissing a homely one, §2.00 —the
extra amount being added probably as a
punishment for the man’s folly.
For ladies kissing one another, Ten
Dollars. The tax is placed at this rate in
order to break up the custom altogether,
it being regarded by our M. C.’s as a piece
of inexcusable absurdity.
For every flirtation, 10 oents.
Every young man who has more than
one ‘ girl’ is taxed §5.00.
For oonrting in the kitohen, 25 oentß.
Courting in the sitting room, 50 oents.
Courting in the parlor, §l,OO.
Courting in a romantio plaoe, §5,00 and
50 oents for each offenoe thereafter
Seeing a lady home fron ohuroh, 25
oents for each offence.
Seeing her home from the dime sooiety,
5 cents—the proceeds to be appropriated
to the relief of disabled army ehaplains.
From a lady who paints, 50. cents.
For wearing low neeked dresses. §l,OO.
For each ourl in a lady’s head above
ten, 5 cents.
For every unfair device for entrapping
young men into the sin of matrimony ’
§5.00.
For wearing hoops larger than ten feet
in cironmferenoe, 8 oents for eaoh hoop.
Old haoh’s over thirty are taxed §lO.
Over forty, §2O.
Over fifty, §5O, and sentenced to ban
ishment in Utah.
Bach pretty lady is to be taxed -from
25 cts. to $25 dollars, she to fix the esti
mate od her own beauty. It. is thought
that a very large amout will be realized
from this provision.
Eaoh boy baby’ 50 cents.
Each girl baby, 10 eents.
Families having more thau eight babies
are not to be taxed.
A Good One. —‘ Quilp’ tells a good
story of legislative fun in Vermont, nearly
forty years ago, during the session when
the famous Robert B. Bates (long since
deceased! was Speaker of the House.—
Bates -was, perhaps, the ablest jury-lawyer
in- the Green Mountain State; a man of
elegant manners, and notorious for * gal
lantry,’ as that word was understood in
England in the reign of Charles 11., and
in France attkll times since the invention
of Gallio morals. It happened during the
session that a member introduced a bill
proposing some advancement or other to
‘ Woman’s Rights,’ in response to a peti
tion numerously sighed by the fair sex—'
one of the signers being there in attendance
to lobby for the interests of the sisterhood.
Bateu, who saw a capital ohanoe for "a bit
of fun, came down from the Speaker’s chair
and pitched into the petition with suoh
comic force that the house roared again/
The ‘Queen of the Amazons’ was'natur
ally angry, and the next-morning sent -to
the Speaker’s chaira package, by an un
snspeoting page, which - was ‘ presently
opened—disolosing to the view of the. tit
tering spectators a-red flannel under skirt!
It was/a trying moment for Bates andonly
a manof great; pelf possession and-a fair;
'share’of witopuid havhosoapedsighaidis
oomfiture.'' aloft, jn 1
jfcy-* 'cr-'r 1
his right hand, and smiling complacently,
the Speaker spoke^— ■
< Gentlemen, I have received many flat
tering attentions from the fair sex, but
never before so pleasing a.compliment as
this. ; It is indeed a beautiful gift. And,
what enhances the delitiaoy of the donation
—the name of the fair donor is concealed.
Ah! the darling—she knew that I would
recognize the petticoat.’
It i#f»eedless to say that the laugh was
diverted to the lobby now, which bad well
nigh fallen on the head of the blushing
Speaker.
The King and the SoLDiEB.-Frederiok
of Prussia hab a great mania for enlistsng
gigantio soldiers into the Royal Guards,
and paid an enormons bounty to his
reoraiting officers for getting them. One
day the reoraiting sergeant ohanced to
espy a Hibernian who was at least seven
feet high; he aooostedhim in English and
proposed that he should enlist. The idea
of military life and a large bounty so
delighted Fatriok that he immediately
consented.
‘ But,’ said the sergeant, ‘ unless yon
ean speak German, the king will not give
yon so mneh.’
‘ Oh, be j&bers,’ said the Irishman,
‘shure it’s I that don’t know a word of
German.’
‘ But,’ said the sergeant, «three words
will be sufficient, you oan learn
in a short time. The king knows every
man in the Guards. As soon as he sees
you, he will ride up and ask yon how old
you are; yon will say, ‘ twenty-seven;’ •
‘ next, how long yon have been in the
service,’ you must reply ‘three weeks;,
finally,if you are provided with clothes and
rations, you answer, ‘both,’
Pat soon learned to pronounce his
answers, bat never dreamed of learning
questions. In three weeks he appeared
before the king in review. His Majesty
rode np to him. Paddy stepped forward
with‘ present arms.’
‘ How old are you V said the king.
‘ Three weeks,’ said the Irishman.
‘ How long have you been in the service?’
asked his Majesty.
‘ Twenty-seven years.’
‘ Am I or you a fool?’ roared the king.
‘ Both,’ replied Patrick, who was
instantly taken to the guard room, but par
doned by the king after he nndortood the
facts of the case.
PENNSYLVANIA STATE
CONVENTION.
TO PASTORS, SUPERINTENDENTS AND TEACHERS,
AND FRIENDS OF THE BABBATH-SCHOOL CAUSE
IN THE STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA.
Dear Brethren : At a meeting of the Philadelphia Sab
bath-School-Association, held in the Rev. Dr. Wadsworth’s
ohnrchj February 17,1802, it was unanimoasly resolved to
hold a
STATE SABBAT3-SCHOOL CONVENTION
IN THE OITY OF-''PHILADELPHIA
ON WEDNESDAY, HAY. 28, 1862,
Commencing at 10 o’clock. A. M.
IN THE “FIRST INDEPENDENT CHURCH,” BROAD
STREET, BELOW CHESTNUT.
The object of the Convention la in brief:
First. To obtain an aocurate view and survey of the
State in its Sabbath-school aspects.
Second. To devise ways and meaue by which to impart
increased vigor and efficiency to the Sabbath-schools;
reach the destitutions, and increase the geueral interest.
Each and ail of you are most earnestly and respectfully
requested to co operate with us in these objects, and we
particularly request,
1; Yonr presence in the Convention at Philadelphia.
Bring yourpaator with you, if possible.
2. Gather up aDd eond us by mail, without delay, all the
well ascertained statistics bearing on this subject, and
especially the condition and destitution of the schools in
your town and county.
3. Fill the blanks in the Annexed statistical table as
nearly accurate as possible, and forward it to us by mail,
with as little delay as practicable.
4. Appoint at least one delegate to represent your school
in the Convention, and report to us by May 1.
A general and earnest invitation is extended to all the
friends cf the Sabbath-school cause to attend; bot it is
specially desired and expected, that each Sabbath-school
will be represented by at least oue delegate. Send .your
best men, brethren, to this important Convention. *
Excursion tickets will be issued, at half fare, to dele*
gates on starting by the following railroads : Pennaylva*
'nia Central, Northern Central, Reading, North Pennsyl
vania, and Cumberland Valley.
Liberal arrangements will be made for the entertainment
of delegates; and to enable this to be done in a suitable
manner, it Is particularly requested that delegates should
inform the Committee at au early date, of their appoint*
meat and expected attendance at the Convention.
Delegates will please report themselves, on their arrival,
at the rooms of the Young Men’s Christian Association,
Nos*. 1009 and 1011 Chestnut street.
All communications should be addressed “ To the Com
mittee on State Snndoy-School Convention, Box No. 620,
Philadelphia P. O.”
JAMES POLLOCK.
WILLIAM GETCY,
j s sr K ’
•JOHN A. NEFF,
L. L. HOUPT. j
ST ATISTIOAL TABLE.
Name and location of school.
When organized ?
Name of superintendent.
How many teachers?
How many scholars?
Average attendance.
How many scholars converted since the'organization?
How many Bible-classes ?
Do yon hold a teacher’s meeting ?
Do you support a mission-school?
Do you hold a monthly Bundfty-school concert?
Do you hold one or two sessions ?
Number of volumes iu library.
How many of the, teachers were once scholars in a
Sunday-school?
Contributions to Christian and benevolent objects the
past year.
What proportion of the children in your community are
in Snnday-schools ? [apr 1 tf 12
Due s sl e ii’s
HAIR JEH ELRY STORE,
No. 206 North Bth Strut above Rack,
PHILADELPHIA.
On hand and for sale, a choice assortment oi superior
patterns, and will plait to order
BRACELETS,
EAR RINGS,
FINGER RINGS.
BREAST PINS,
ORQSSEB,
NECKLACES,
GUARD AND
, TEST CHAINS.
Orders enclosing the hair to be plaited may be sent
by mall. Give a drawing as near as yon can on paper, and
enclose shch amount as yon may choose to pay.
Costß as follows: Ear Kings $2 to $8 —Breast Pina $3 to
$7 —Finger Rings 75 cents to s3.so—Vest Chains $6 to $7 —
Necklacos $2 to $lO.
Hair pat into Medalions, Box Breast Pins, Rings, Ac.
OLD GOLD AND SILVER BOUGHT AT FAIR RATES,
apr 16 • ' ly 14
pttl eOODS AT O.IiD PRICES
WENTZ BROS.
Have in store a large stock of
DOMESTIC GOODS,
Miulins, Sheetings, Shirtings, Calicoes, Ac.,
Worthy the attention of all Housekeepers, and those al»out
commencing.
GOOD CALICOES, 10, and 16 cents.
Bleached and Unbleached Sheetings and Shirtings, with a
large assortment of
HOUSEKEEPING QOODB,
Many or them purchased before the-advance in prices.
Consequently selling at Old Price*.
JUST OPENED:
NEWLOTOP BALMORAL SKIRTS,
Beautiful Purples—Magenta—-Green—Scarlet—Blue.
1 CASE RICH NEW STYLE DE LAINE3,
Selling at the Old Price, 25 cents. . '
THE WHOLE STOCK OF
DRESS GOODS
SELLING OFF AT REDUCED PRICES,
To make room for Spring Stock.
WENTZ BROS^
feb 18 if 6] No. 5 East King street.
THE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER
JOB PRINTING ESTABLISHMENT. !
No 8 NORTH DUKE STREET, LANCASTER, PA. I
The Jobbing Department is thoroughly furnished -with i
new and elegant type of every description, and is nnder
the charge of a practical and experienced Job Printer.—
The Proprietors are prepared to
PRINT CHECKS,
NOTES, LEGAL BLANKS,
CARDS AND CIRCULARS,
BILL HEADS AND HANDBILLS,
* PROGRAMMES AND POSTERS,
PAPER BOOKS AND PAMPHLETS,
BALL TICKETS AND INVITATIONS,
PRINTING IN COLORS AND PLAIN PRINTING,
with neatness, accuracy and dispatch, on the most reasona!
hie terms, aha in a manner hot excelled by any establish--
ment in the city. - . -
' 45f* orders from a dlstance. by man or otherwise, -
nromptly attended tq. .•••;: Address' . - .
* GEO. SANDERSON & SON, * ~
Intelligencer Ottoe,
No. 8 North Duke street, Lancaster, Pa-
P H:; O T O G ft
IN ALL ITS BRANCHES. ’
Executed fri the test style U»e ■£» «_ f 1
0 . Q . -C'« JLJTJE,’.g 'tvflLj^X
- 652 Ales Stubb, Bab oxßta, pimAPUKu^
*C
asssas*:
3-,
RKOlsvvkd, direct from New York and Phfledal*
phia; a choice lot of
NEW GOODS.
Shephard's Plaids of aywr-frietr. *i«>\ a lam lot of
• HBIf GHIHY2XS, *
Purchased at low prieeatorcash, which we guarantee to
sell at prices that .
DEFY COMPETITION.
BEBT ENGLISH. mat*.
BEST ME BRIM AC CHINTZES
BEST AMEBIOANCHINTZBS m \:.;..;^ m .. , mmm ISK oe&ts.,
BEST OOQHEOO CHINTZES- oent*.
BEST PACIFIC CHINTZ oant*.
BEST BPBAQUE CHINTZES...:—...'. .-i-OS£ Cfepts.
BEST MOURNING CH1NTZE5..—..............
ALBO, ..
Domestic ~
tot of good, he«ry Domestic GINGHAMS^ISj#
Good ApropGlnghaam abd' OheekA Good
Bleached and Unbleached MUSLINB,one yar&wid%l2}£
centa; Cotton Flannels, 13j& cents. ' -ru ' - N
NOW IffTHfrTIMK.TO . ‘ ; (
A fall Hne of BLACKBIBKB, ehe*p..'-New BfrlM of
SPBING DRBBSGOOBB -
Of avery Tariety end ouaHty.
OPENING ;DAIL¥; ...V V .
WENTZ BKO8 n i
No. SBartKlnjfcß^wt.
Large lot
mar 18 tf .10]
“THERE QRD
rjl A R k A N T"» 8 -
OOHPODSDEll&iOlO?
0 UB S B 8 A yj> CO PAIS A
Thispreparation Is particularly recommended to the
MEDICAL PROFESSION and the PUBLI& a* combining,
in the most convenient-and efficacious form,'the weu
established virtues and properties of Gubeba and Copaiba.
For the speedy andeflectual relief-and cure of all SEXUAL
DISEASES, it may-justly beoOnstdefcstonaotthis&oitset
and most valuable discoveries in the annals of medicine,
frequently effecting a cure !u three or four days. Iu Its
preparation as an extract or a paste, the usual nauseous
taste is avoided, and lb is, consequently, never found to
interfere with the digestion, while, from its greater*
centration, the dose is much reduced. It may be relied on
as the best mode for the administration of these remedies
in the large class of diseases of both sexes to which they
are applicable.
'N. ET<—Parch&sers aie advised to ask for
TARRANT’S COMPOUND EXTRAGI! OF CUBEBS AND
COPAIBA,
and to take nothing else—as imitations and worthless
preparations, under similar names, are in the 'market.
Pamphlets accompany the medicine, containing fnliisnd
ample directions. Price, $l.OO. Sent by express on receipt
ot price. •. r.
Prepared aod sold wholesale and retail, by
TARRANT A 00. i T
No. ‘278 Gbienwich Stbest, cobweb OF Wab&kv Stbxbi,
NEW YORK,
And For Sale by Druggists Generally.
piNE WATCHES I RICH JEWELRY I
SILVER WAREI SILVER WABEJI
PIB, CAKE AND BUTTER KNIVES.
SUGAR, CREAM AND OYSTER SPOONS.
SOUP AND OYSTER LADLES, -
SPOONS, PORKB, Ao., Ac.
Latest Styles and Best Workmanship.
SILVER-PLATED WARE ! SILVER-PLATED WARS 1t
BASKKTB, CASTORS, PITOHERB, MUGS,
SPOONS, FORKS, Ac., Ao.,
Just psomt h e Faotosies.
WATOHESI WATCHES!! WATGHBStU
WARBABTKD TUCK KEXPKBB. •
CHEAP! CHEAP!I OHEAPII
CLOCKS! OLOOKSI! CLOCKS!!! :
OUT, COLUMN* AND PLAIN FBOBTS.
JEWELRY!! JEWELRY!!
JEWELRY!
LATE9I 6TTIES ASK BSSX QUALITY.
RHOADS A GILLESPIE,
. 22% West Kino Stsxst,
Between Cooper’s Hotel and J. G. Getz’s Dry Goods Store:
dec 17. tf49
I A3BCASTER. HOME MUTUAL FIRE
j INSURANCE COMPANY.
OFFICE, NO. 58 EASTKINQ STREET.
This Company having received applications for insur
ance of Real Estate ($160,000) to. the amount required bj
its Charter, commenced issuing policies on the Ist day. of
April, 1862, and is now prepared to insure Real and Per-
Booal Property in the Olty and County of Lancaster.- It is
strictly on the mutual principle, no profits being contem
plated, but an immense saving. Stock Insurance Compa
nies being principally designed for the benefit of the stock
holders, this company has been organized for the special
benefit of the insured parties, and they will control it r as
thero are no stockholders to do so. Every person insuHhg
property in this company thereby becomes a member
thereof, And will bo represented therein to the extent of
his insurance.
Di&eot-bs —Rev. Wm. T. Gerhard, President; D. G.
Swartz and J. B.Bwartzwe!der, Vice Presidents; Christian
H. Lefever, Secretary ; John Sheaffer, Treasurer; John D.
SkUes/Chrlstian Gast, Barton B. Martin and Lawrence
Knapp. [apr 16 8m It
1 8 6 2. APRIL.
ARRIVAL OF
SPLEXDID NSW BPRING GOODS
E y T Z BROS
I Lot of FOULARD SILKS, only 12% cents;
1 Lot Spring CfaalHe DELAINES, 12%c., worth 20c.
1 Lot Brocha VALENOIAB, Boqoa, 26,31, 87%0.
1 Lot Buper Boqua-CHALLIES, only 25c.
SHEPHERDS’ PLAIDS, and good, 25c.
All on r best CALICOES, selling at 12%c.
1 Lot Extra Good CALICOES, only 10c.
1 Lot excellent Bonnet and Apron. Ginghams, 12%c.
SHAWL AND CLOAK ROOM.
New Stock of
SPRING SHAWLS AND CLOAKS.
Beautiful Stella Shawls.
“ Every day brings something new.”
THE CHOICE BARGAINS OF THE DAY,
Opened dally at
apr 8 tf 13]
MltlE. DEMOREST’S
QUARTERLY MIRROR OF FASHIONS.
GREAT IMPROVEMENTS.
THE BUMMER HUMBER WILL COHTADt /
FOUR LARGE AND SPLENDID FASHION-PLATES,
THREE FULL-SIZED PATTERNS, '
Comprising the New French Waist, an Elegant Sleeve, and
a Misses Sack, together with nearly 100 Engravings of all
the novelties for Snmmer Bonnets, Cloaks,' Trimmings,
Children's Dresses, etc,,.and valuable information to Milli
ners, Dress Makers, Mothers, and Ladies generally. lpra
6enting the largest and best Fashion. Magazine in the World
published 473 Broadway, New York, and sold everywhere at
25 cts., or sent by mail post free, on receipt of the amount.
Yearly $1 with the following valnablo premium:
Each yearly subscriber will be entitled to- the selection
of 50 cents worth of plain patterns, from the designs in
the book, or from the show-room, or they may be ordered
and sent by mall any time daring the year, by paying the
postage.
lnducements to Canvassers.
BUMMER NUMBER WILL BE READY ON OB ABOUT
TOE FIRST OF MAT;
mHE ST. LOUIS, CHESTNUT STREET
JL _ ■ HOU 8 B i _ ;
Betwees Third and Foor th, Pbeladelp hia.
The undersigned, having leased, for a term of years, this
popular house, have the pleasure of announcing to their
friends and the travelling community that it is now open
for tho reception of-guests.' The bouse dace the first"' of
March last, has been entirely renovated and refitted in a
superior manner; the apartments are large, well ventilated
and furnished in modern style. It iS'Centrally -located,
convenient to all the depot and steamboat landings, and in
the immediate’vicinity of the Custom House, Post Ofilos
and Corn Exchange.
Connected with the Hotelis a Restaurant fbr theaoedm*
modation of those preferring the European plan.. Prices
of Rooms from Three to Seven Hollars'per week, acoordlhg
to location.
Board $1.50 per day. Table d’Hote for merchants mid
businessmen from 1 to 3 P. M. * '•vv'..-:;-:
apr 8 ly 13j
g O M K T HIS a H B W I
HIGHLY IMPORTANT TO TECH LADIES.
DOWN EE’S PATENT HEMMER AND SHIELD, POE
HAND SEWING.
Ia pronounced by all who haveusedit “Just the thine n
for those using the needle, as It completely protects the
fioger, and ">«*«« a neat and uniform hem whilathfrcpera
tor is sewing.
One-half the labor of sewing Is saved by tiring t&ls' a
REMARKABLY SIMPLE AND NOVEL INVENTION.
No lady should be without it. - It is also '“Just the
thing ” for girls to use learning to sew.
Its remarkable cheapness btfngs it within resell of the
million. Sample sent by mall on receiptof ths.prioe,
TWENTY-FIVE CENTS. . ,
Descriptive Circulars famished on application. -
A LIBERAL DISCOUNT TO,TEE TRADE.
Enterprising Agents (wanted in every town and county
throughout the United States and GanadaO will find -ptpst
profitable employment in selling this useful article,*! it
meets with ready sales wherever Offered—has no canpeti
tioa—and profits are very large. -
$l6O PEE MONTH OAK BE REALIZED. ~
Address, A. H. DOWNER, ...
442 Broadway, New York,
Patentee and Solo Proprietor,.
N. B.—General and exclusive Agencies will be granted
wu the most liberal tenni. ' [dec24BmAO
PHfE StX LOOKING GLAfiS k 'AV D
PICTURE FRAME. MANUFACTORY, - >
Noa. 221 East Twikty-Thtbi) Strzst, 173 airo 176 Gkinn
_ . - Stbxxt, asd 216 Cures* Smn,
NEWIOBK.
! Estabushto 1838. - EsTAßizsaKD'lsBB; >
1 This Establishment has been In sq ecesafol; operation 24
years, and is tbo largest of the kind in the'Unlted States.
We have on hand, or manufacture to order, every deecrlp*
I LOOKING GLASS, PICTOTBAND POKHIiIT jKAMES,
PLAIN AND OBN AMKNIAL PlE£> KiJ£ii9, TAL
■ AND MANTEL GEABSKB. 00NNHOTNG, r:
CORNIOBS, BASE-ANB BRACKKT
TABLES, WITH MARBLE
• slTbs. toilbt .*
glasses, ao, Ac.
1 . Moaldlpes for in longth. milfMojfor
| transportation, either GUt,
Ac. Oornew'JLumftotoiry ind J*x
, tooi«a«wG»®“ bl ?
'lineaa' good M 11,8 “d M di«P>* - _
| “jsSiJ an are iriMtod to mU uponae wfajfrfljjjpjflitt
[ Nmr Tort Wo claim to be ableio enppljr thfaeartthOYery
i irtible in ohr thread »t
i
to call idled you visit pVy
m«r2sSm4*t: : ‘‘- ssst
-TTTOOD.—Htekor jr« Oelt»ndP«J»Wbed
W of
*•*
TSQ^mrn
• '-c : .U- .YZllrl.ti ~3 '
WENTZ BROS., /
No. 5 East King Street.
HENRY NEIL, ‘
ISAAC la DEYOE.