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VOL. LXII.
THE..;LANCASTER INTELLIGENOER
P UHRPOEPPR EVERY ?uvular, AT NO. B NORTH DMZ Mill,
" BY 080. SANDERSON.
TERMS
EuelMatsnos.--Two Dollars. per annum, payable in ad
vance. No subscription discontinued until all arrear
ages are paid, unless at the option of the Editor.
AnvaavlSsanors..- - -AdVertieemeuti, not exceeding one
square, (12 lines,) will - be inserted three times for one
dollar, and twenty-five cents for each additional Inser
tion. - These of greater length in proportion.
Jon PRINTERG—Such as Hand Rib Pesters, Pamphlets,
Blanka,'Labela, &c., &c., executed with accuracy and on
' 7 " the shortest notice.
MrPMST PROPOSAL
BY J. B. HAMILTON,
'TWOS at the age when little boys,
Though scarcely broken from their nurses,
Begin to taste forbidden joys,
To smoke cigars and writeiovelverses,
That I, a schoolboy, first began
To scorn my little schoolboy's jacket;
And feeling every inch a man,
Fell deep in love with Lucy Hackett.
I see her now, so sweet and shy,
Jut as she looked in that blue bonnet,
When first, in church, I caught her eye,
And caught, too;by gazing on it;
Oh! to some barren Wilderness
I longed the little duck to carry !
I knew that I must die, unless
She would, at once, consent to marry.
One day I met her near a stile,
With no one but her little sister :
I soon told all my love, and while
The younger turned its head, I kissed her
We vowed we nevermore would part ;
1 vowed to her that I would rather
Brave - death itself than Mee her heart,
And that I meant to ask her father !
Soon after that I went and saw
bly Lucy's pa, and had no doubt he
Would think me a good eon-in-law;
(Old Hackett was both rich and gouty !)
Bat when, at his command, I sat,
And he said, plumply : " What's your business ?'
I felt my heart go pit-a-pat,
And my whole head was seized with dizz'ness.
" Respected sir ! I came to claim
Your gentle daughter's hand in marriage ;
And it shall be my noblest aim
To let her have a splendid carriage ;
Ah! two such deeply-loving hearts
Not even death itself could sever;
And, spite of Fate's relentless darts,
In love our souls will glide for ever !"
All that, and more, I oneant to say—
Had learnt it all by heart, like water;
But, somehow, my plunk oozed away,
Like bullies when they catch a tartar ;
That old man's Looks caused such a stir,
And put my heart in such a flutter !
" Please may I—marry—Luny, sir ?"
Was really all that I did stutter.
" Humph !—marry Lucy !" and a twitch
Seemed to be playing o'er each feature;
(From fun or gout, I don't know which,
But he did look like the queerest creature r)
"Marriage, my lad, is no child's play ;
It isn't so, upon my honor ;
Now, if my child I give away,
Pray, how much could you settle on her
"Father is rich," I said, " and I've
Only two sisters and four brothers,
And, though the youngest now alive,
I'll get say share like all the others
I'll try, sir, as each husband tries,
To keep my '!vile from all misfortune
But then I know, when father dies,
That I shall have a pretty fortune."
Oh! I remember it so well,
The way he tugged at that bell-handle
How the tall footman he did tell,
(While my face turned white as a candle,)
john, show this youth the door!'' and, then,
Turning to me, (my deep love morning,)
Said: " Youngster, try and call again—
When your papa is dead! Good morning !'
"AND ONE PRIVATE KILLED."
Cold words to tell a mother's doting love
That her old age was desolate indeed;
That the proud staff of her declining years
Was taken from her, at her utmost need.
Brief words—yet it was terrible to feel,
The bitter woe their scanty limits held !
Small joy, it seemed, in that sad hour to know
The held was taken and the foe was quelled.
Was it for this they sent him forth in pride,
A mother's blessing on his boyish head,
A sister's kisses on his beardless lips,
Thus to receive him, voiceless, cold and dead'?
He was their all, perchance; they loved him so !
He went—and now-0, breaking hearts be still
Columbia's blessing on her bravest sons
Hollows the grave his precious form shall fill.
God bless him ! no delusive hope of gain,
No glittering glory lured his youthful eye
Loved his country with a boy's proud love,
Counting it little e'en for her to die.
And so he went—and thus they bear him home,
The crimson stain upon his golden hair,
The hush of death upon his hero-heart,
The heart so eager then to do and dare.
And though on earth no trumpet sounds his fame,.
Royally angel harps in heaven shall tell
Haw, with his young heart full of holy zeal,
The brave boy-patriot for his country fell_
PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT;,
Or, The Way to Rule a Husband.
Theophilus, my love, you will not go
said Mrs. Tints, speaking to her husband
as he announced to her his intention. of
going that day to a dinner party at the
house, of his friend Ralph Rattle.
Mr. Tims had received the invitation
some daya befere, and he had fully made
up his mind that he would go, though he
kept both the invitation and the determine
tion a secret from his young wife until the
very day he was about to fulfil it, and then
he only mentioned it in order that Mrs.
Tims might not expect him, and keep her
own dinner waiting on his account.
4 Why, my dear, I must go,' replied Mr.
Time, as he assumed a resolute look and
placed his hat upon the centre table, though
there was a certain nervousness about the
workings of Mr. Tims' eyes as he said this,
from which one might have inferred that the
use of the imperative mood cost him no
slight efforts.
Mrs. Time looked at him with a glance in
which meekness and reproach were equally
blended, and she sighed—a soft, suppressed
sigh—though it was uttered quite load
enough for Mr. Time to hear.
You see, my love,' said Mr. Timm, in a
deprecatory tone, as the aforesaid sight fell
upon his ear and was transported from
thence to his heart, that I really cannot
- do otherwise without offending one of my
oldest friends. It is so long since I have
paid Ralph Rattle a social visit, and I
promised him so faithfully that I would
come, that really he would consider my
absence an intentional affront.'
- -
Mrs. Tims sighed again, and louder than
before.
Now, Louisa,' said Mr. Tims, as he
stood with the knob of the parlor door in
his hand, ready to go up stairs and make
his toilet, why will you be looking so
miserable ? You know it is not often that
I leave you alone, or go to bachelor par
ties.'
Aim I looking miserable V asked Mrs.
Tims, with a ghastly smile, that almost
made her husband start.
'lndeed you are,' he replied— , so mis
erable that any one would imagine, if they
saw you, that I am about committing a
murder, instead of merely dining with an
old acquaintance.'
' I am not miserable, Theophilus,' said
Mrs. Time ; 'I am slightly indisposed, but
I am happy, quite happy, I assure you,'
and as she said this the tears started to
het eyes. Mr. Tims felt his resolution
gradually giving way, but he made a
.desparate effort and rushed out- of • the
room. Mrs. Tims listened a moment-0d
heard him go up stairs and thi,n4tinstant
her hoe (which had been the fac-simile of
woeLwas brightened by, an ~ •
arch smile.
ciAlall not go, thatls tat !' said Mrs.
inisi.V she took up an annual mallmineed
lieriefliy 16941 g t
, ovoiltiagg,,,3
..w q : 2 ;
Mr. Theophilus Time had been married
but a very few months to his young and
pretty little wife; but even in that short
time he had discovered a great change in
himself—a Change which he never had
anticipated, and the realization of which he ,
could scarcely credit. Not that Mr.
Theophilus Tims was a man to be in bodily
fear of a woman ! Not he, indeed; for
there was no individual who would more
vigorously have resisted direct attempt to
assume that masculine article of dress,
vulgarly called breeches ; and a word of
I authority from a woman would have aroused
1 every recollection of his being one of the
1 lords of the creation, and would have in
duced him, for the - mere support of the
dignity of his sex, to have resisted and
quelled that authority.
' I never was created to be hen-peeked?'
was anlobservation that • Mr. Time had
made to himself many a time, and oft both
before and since his marriage, and he sin
cerely believed it. Bat Mr. Time was a
sensitive man, a very sensitive man, and he
had a holy horror of saying or doing any
thing that might remotely or immediately
be wounding to the feelings of another.
Mr. Time anxiously desired to be happy
himself, and he ardently wished every one
with whom he was connected to be happy
also, and he had a nervous dread of being
a rock on which the happiness of some one
was doomed to be wrecked. This nervous
fear had made Mr. Time oscillate for a
long time on the bachelor's list, and it was
a matter of considerable surprise to him
when he found himself seriously paying
attention to a young lady. He had re
peatilly argued the matter with himself,
and almost invariably came to the conclu
sion that he should not marry. ' For,'
said Mr. Tims, solioquizing, ' I have been
so accustomed to my jovial bachelor's life
that, to be regular and methodical, will be
absolutely unendurable to me ; and to be
otherwise might cause a wife to be wretch
ed, which would be something not to be
thought of. If I could only find,' Mr.
Tims would observe, 'an agreeable young
lady who would be satisfied to take me as
I am--to love me, but to be indifferent
about my habits—then matrimony might
be temptipg ; or if she had a spice of the
termagant in her nature, and would under
take to control me in such a manner that
1 might think opposition a virtue, even
then I might be happy; but to give pain
to a loving heart, it is horrible—it is really
too horrible ! No,' Mr. Tims would con
clude, as he would drop into a brown
study, 'it is too great a risk to run, and ,
I fear I must, therefore, deprive myself of
the pleasure of connubial felicity.' 1
But Mr. Time was not destined to re
main a single man. It was his fate to fall
most violently in love with Miss Louisa
Jennings, a pretty, little, sentimental
blonde, with blue eyes and golden ringlets.
Miss Jennings walked like a sylph and
sung like a nightingale, and was, moreover,
a very sensible and intelligent girl. She
had always thought that, as a matter of
course, she would some day be married ;
and she had made up her mind that, when
ever such a consummation was brought
about, she would keep her husband in
proper discipline. Her mother had done
so before her, and her father—good, easy
man—had been all the better for it, and,
indeed, had never suspected that he was
entirely ruled by his wife.
As Miss Jennings was all smiles, mild
ness and acquiscence, it is not to be won
dered that Mr. Titus thought he had found
just the lady to suit him—one who would
love him devotedly, but who had such an
elevated opinion of man's prerogative, that
she would not find fault with or grieve at
his having entirely his own way.
Miss Jennings had heard of the wild
bachelor's life her lover had been leading,
and she studied his disposition pretty
closely : the result of her investigations,
however, did not discourage her with the
prospect the future presented. She had
suffered the credulous Mr. Time to believe
everything he chose, while she deliberately
made up her own mind in regard to the
tactics it would be necessary to pursue in
order to cool down his ardent spirits,
temper his wild notions of matrimonial
liberty, and render him a bearable, reason
3:table, and obedient husband.
Until the question was actnallly
'popped,' Mr. Tims had matters and things
entirely his own way. This crisis, how
ever, was not brought about until after
some months' preliminary courtship. It
was a delightful evening in the month of
May when Mr. Time asked the important
question that was to decide his fate. The
moon was beaming brightly in the little
parlor, in which he sat all alone with his
enchantress, and the air was fragrant with
the perfume of Spring flowers. Mr. Tims
had not actually and deliberately intended
to put the direct question on that occasion;
but there was something in the atmosphere,
something perhaps in the position he oc
cupied, that was irresistible. He hesi
tated a moment as the dialogue took such
a turn as dialogues between young ladies
and young gentlemen will sometimes take,
and then out it came ! Not a positive will
you have me ?' but a supposititious case,
that might be applied, and which might or
might not be introductory to further tender
negotiation. Miss Louisa Jennings, how
ever, had heard something about the frailty
of young gentlemen, and she was not die -
posed to understand parables. She affected
not to know at what the young man was
aiming, and at length, by her. bewitching
simplicity, she brought him finally point
blank to the mark, and he asked the
question in such a manner that there was
no misunderstanding him.
Mr. Tims, though a little confused at
first, soon gathered up resolution, and he
offered himself with considerable noncha
lance—very much with the air of a man
who has no idea of being refused ; for, from
the indications he had had, he thought a
refusal out of the question. He was, there
fore, not a little staggered when his pro
position was received with considerable
hesitation.
I thought-4 thought—' stammered
Mr. Time, as he observed these signs and
listened to sundry ominous words ; and
then he added, abruptly, But if you do
not love me—' and, as he said this, Mr.
Tims looked remarkably disconsolate,
while Miss Louisa Jennings gave utterance
to a low, murmuring, half-breathed sigh.
What a vain coxcomb I .have been!'
thought Mr. Tiros; and then he asked her
aloud if he, dared hope that she reeiproca
ted his affection..
` 4 'Really,' said Miss' Jennings, 4 the idea
has beep presented so suddenly, so flues
pootedly,:that—thati7o
41 see ho4'it - isilciniss,' exelainiedldr.
" THAT 001INTRY IS TEI XOEIT
LANCASTER CITY, PA., TUESDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 19, 1861.
Tims, as the lady hesitated ; 6 you cannot
love me, and you would spare my feelings
by avoiding the confession of the fact.
This discovery is painful to me,Louisa ;
but it is better that I should s uffer pain
than that yon should. Farewell, Miss
Jennings--may you ever be happy !'
Saying this, Mr. Time seized his hat in a
very malicious manner, and looked at the
top of it as if he had serious intentions of
knocking the crown in. He then glanced
a second time at the lovely fair, and pre
pared to make a real tragic exit ; but a
tender, balf-dttered Oh Theophilns !'
brought him immediately to the feet of
the beautiful Louisa again.
Then you do love me exclaimed the
now delighted Mr. Tims.
Only too well !' sighed Louisa. •
And why, dearest, would yon not say
so 1' asked the transported Theophilns.
Theophilus '
' said Miss Jennings,
have struggled with myself to overcome
this feeling, and to regard you only as a
friend.'
And why have you done this V asked
Mr. Time, giving way to all the astonish
ment he felt.
Oh ! Theophilus,' exclaimed Miss Jen
nings, have you looked into your own
heart, and have you studied mine, and can
you still ask the question?'
Mr. Time intimated that he had done
both, and he modestly declared that he
could still ask the question.
'I have feared your constancy,' said
Miss Jennings, gravely; for know, The
ophilus, that I should be exquisitely
wretched if I did not meet with an equal
return for my affection. My nature can
not be contented with ordinary love;
nothing but boundless devotion could
gratify mo—a devotion as limitless as my
own would be to you, and which I have
feared you could not render.'
Her views were further explained on
the subject, and, what is a little surprising,
Mr. Titus appeared to be perfectly delight
ed with them, and was as ready with pro
testations as she was with suggestions that
called for them. The engagement was,
therefore, entered into, to their mutual
satisfaction, and for that night, at least,
they were both perfectly, contented and
happy. But Mr. Tims-/was destined to
find that this incipient state of matrimony
interfered mightily with his bachelor hab
its and his bachelor parties; for whenever
he absented himself from her, Louisa would
know his whereabouts ; and if he had been
anywhere he should not have been—in
any place which an embryo married man
should not be=he was sure to meet with
such glances of wo, such looks of tearful
sorrow, that he invariably concluded in
his own mind that he must' be a monster,
and he would promise amendment, not
only to the lady, but also internally to
himself.
One by one he dropped his gay and dis
sipated friends. He gave up his card
parties, his billiard tables, his boating
clubs, his gunning excursions, and all the
little masculine amusements he had been
wont to delight in. He did all this, how
ever, not without a great struggle ; but a
word of reproachful sorrow from Louisa,
and a glance of her tearful eyes, always
decided him.
Never mind,' he would say to himself
sometimes, 6 we shall soon be married, and
then it will be different; Louisa will not
be so exacting, and I shall hardly feel so
complying.'
They were married soon afterwards, but
the performance of the ceremony and lapse
of the honey-moon did not alter either him
or Mrs. Tims. At length he began to
grow restive when he found himself sobered
down into a respectable and dutiful hus
band, and without any assumption of au
thority on the part of his wife.
It won't do,' said Mr. Titus to himself
—' it won't do at all ! I must consult my
own feelings, and act as I please, without
regard to consequences. I have neglected
all my old friends—all fine fellows, too !
except Ralph Rattle, and I never mention
his name but Loillsa looks as if I was about
to plant a dagger in her heart. 'Tis true,
he is a little wild for a married man, as he
is, but still his wife loves him and takes
no notice of his slight eccentricities.—
Would to heaven Louisa was like her !'
and Mr. Time sighed as he fell into a re
flective mood, the result of which was that
he thought it behooved him to disenthral
himself, and, as a commencement, he de
termined to accept an invitation to a
bachelor dinner party, to be given the
following week by his friend, Ralph Rattle.
It so happened that of all his friends,
Mr. Rattle was the one most feared by
Mrs. Tims, as well for his own habits of
freedom as for the influence he possessed
over her husband. If I can only put an
end to this acquaintance,' Mrs. Time would
say, I shall be able to do what I please
with Mr. Time, and 1 need not be alarmed
for the future.' This was the state of
feeling between the young married couple
when Mr. Time announced to his wife his
engagement to dinner. After the prelim
inary scene we have witnessed, Mr. Tims
had gone up stairs to dress. Both parties
had made up their minds, but Mrs. Tims
was the most determined.
Mr. Titus came down into the parlor
with his party suit on. His linen had
been changed, his boots had been var
nished, and his hair had been brushed off
from his brow, as of yore he had been
accustomed to brush it. Mr. Titus held
his gloves in the same hand with his neat
little whalebone cane, while with his other
hand he prepared to seize his hat, which
still lay upon the table where he had left
it. The hat was smoothed and properly
adjusted on his head, and then for the first
time Mr. Titus dared to look at his wife.
The annual had been thrown aside long
before he came down stairs, and In its
stead Mrs. Tims held her cambric hand
kerchief in her hand. Her eyes were red
with weeping, and she actually sobbed as
Mr. Tims glanced at her.
g I suppose I am a brute !' murmured
Mr. Tims, as he prepared to make a dash
for the door. I will be back early, my
love,' said he, by way of a consoling fare—
well.
Theophilus, dear Theophilus !, shrieked
Mrs Time, hysterically, and in a moment
Mr. Tims was beside her.
You will go, Theophilus V asked MrEi.
Time, in a low, plaintive voice,. which
seemed to indicate that her life depended
upon the answer.
I really, must go this time,
my love,'
replied Mr. 'rim '
who looked quite up—
equal to the task before him • but if it
pauses you so much 'pain, I will not, again
aioept as invitation fronkiliole.
Whyo;olil;trhy didoti)iiii ,
cried
WEizi Laws annum TSB GalAner szwextax"—BuanNAN.
Mrs. 'rims, wildly ; or if I must love, why
was I doomed to love so passionately, so
intensely, with a love that could never be
returned V
You are unjust, Louisa,' said Mr. Time,
who, as usual, found himself on the defen
sive. You know I love you, and sincere
ly.'
And yet,' said Mrs. Time, sobbing,
4 you refuse to sacrifice a dinner party to
my happiness !'
'I don't see, my love, how your happi—
ness is affected by my .going or staying,'
plead m r . Tims, apologetically.
4 That is because you will not, Theophi
bis,' replied Mrs. Tims--‘ because you will
not believe that my happiness is interwo—
ven with yours, and I fell that your hap—
piness is threatened.'
Everything I do causes you unhappi—
ness,' said Mr. T i tus, peevishly, and Mrs.
Tuns sighed audibly. Rattle,' continued
Mr. Tims, elan do as he pleases, and his
wife never finds fault with him.'
And *mid you be satisfied, Theophi
lus ' said Mrs. Tims, if I could look with
indifference at your every action Could
yon believe that I lovedyon if Leonid un
complainingly see you pursue a course I
knew would render you unhappy ? Oh !
Theophilus, I have thought that you appre
ciated the fond affection of this throbbing
heart, but I find you do not, and I am
pouring the treasures of my best love upon
a desert soil.'
Mr. Time endeavored in vain to excul—
pate himself.
Go, Theophilus, go !' exclaimed Mrs.
Time,in an agony of grief, seek Mr.
Ratte and be happy with him. I will
never again interfere with your pleasures.
Henceforth I will conceal my feelings from
you. I will suffer without a murmur, nor
shall you ever again have cause to feel
that my love is tiresome, is an annoyance
to you.'
Before his wife had finished, Mr. Time
had almost forgotten Ralph Rattle and his
party, and, as she concluded, he took off
his hat, he put down his gloves, and he
placed his cane quietly in one corner of
the room. Still Mrs. Timis urged him to
fulfil his engagement, but he positively de
clined, and the more she insisted the more
resolute he became, until at length he
declared unequivocally that he would
never more visit Ralph Rattle.
Am I not a foolish creature to be so
fond of you, Theophilus ?' asked Mrs. Tiros
of her husband some half hour afterwards,
as he demurely sat by her side, instead of
rattling away, as he anticipated, with the
champagne at his friend Rattle's. It is
needless to quote Mr. Time reply ; suffice
it to say that he did not dine with Mr.
Rattle that day, nor did he ever again pay
him a premeditated visit. He had been
thoroughly broken, and ever afterward the
mere insinuation from Mrs. Tuns that he
did not love her was sufficient to make him
acquiesce in any arrangement.
Notwithstanding all that has been rela
ted, Mr. and Mrs. Titus live together very
happy. She is conscious (without hinting
at the fact) that she has her own way in
everything, while he thinks that, in yield— ,
ing to her notions, he is paying only a 1
slight tribute to her intense affection for
him, and he has not the most remote idea
thit he is one of the humblest subjects of
Petticoat Government.
6 CIO (1) 511Pleil leg lif hi NI Di a
The owner of a saw-mill in the country,
having a little enmity against a neighbor
ing farmer, laid no less a plan of revenge
than to get him arraigned as a thief, con
victed, and sent to the penitentiary. But
as the honesty of his neighbor afforded him
no fair grounds of accusation, he resorted
to the foul expedient of secretly conveying
some of his own property upon the other's
premises ; so that, it being found there, it
might be proof of his ghilt. For this
purpose he took a thousand of boards,
having his own mark on, and at dead of
night dumped them into the field near his
neighbor's house. But the farmer did not
happen to be as fast asleep as his enemy
supposed. He beard a noise, or thought
he beard one; and getting up pretty soon
after to satisfy himself on the subject, by
the help of a lantern he found a load of
boards, with his neighbor's mark upon
them. How they came there and why
they came there, flashed upon him at once.
His course was promptly taken. Allowing
hie enemy just time to get fairly home and
into bed, so that the light of the burning
pile might not be detected, he set fire to
the boards, which being well seasoned,
were in a few minutes entirely consumed.
Early in the morning, as the farmer had
anticipated, the sawyer came with a con
stable and search warrant; to look for his
property.
You are suspected,' said the officer,
'of having taken a thousand of boards
from this man, and by virtue of this war
rant I hold in my hand, I must search your
premises.
• Very well,' replied the farmer, you
are at liberty to search as much as you
please. Bat if you find the boards, I'll
engage to eat them for my breakfast.'
' You'll have something harder to digest
than that, I fancy,' said the sawyer with a
sneer.
He then triumphantly led the way to
where he had dumped the boards, where
he confidently expected to find them, and
lo!! there was nothing but a heap of ashes !
His disappointment, chagrin and mortifi
cation may be judged of. He sneaked
away home ; and the secret of his foul
plot getting wind in the neighborhood, the
ghost from the ashes of the" load of boards
never ceased to annoy him ; until taking
advantage of the darkness of another night,
he picked up his all and left the country.
Dirt makes corn, corn makes
bread and meat, and that makes a very
sweet young lady that I saw one of you
kissing last night. So, after all, you were
kissing dirt—particularly if she whitens
her skin with chalk or fuller's earth.—
There is no telling, young gentlemen, what
is dirt. Though I must say that rubbing
such stuff upon the beautiful skin of a
young lady is a dirty practice. Pearl
powder,' I think, is made of bismuth—
nothing but dirt.'
lC Children and fools, says the old
adage, always tell the truth.
Mother sent me,' said a little girl to
a neighbor, to
-ask you to come`and take
tea with her this evening.'
'Did she flay at what time, my dear l'
'No; saa'ani; she only paid she would
ask yen, .ittO then, thp thing would im, pff
her mita yr.se . 4ll Ohs teal'
y.l:iß _.SfL/~
sr Ermwav ,
, _ _
The word jltatmei/ 'is slate acquisi
tion to our language. Neither Webster
nor Woreester, in their respective lexicone,
have 'noticed the.term. Nevertheless, it is
one of much significance, and is compre
hensive in its meaning. It is used by
those who are adepts in slang terms to
denote a wretched, forsaken dissipated
man. Whenever a man has become lost
to a sense of ehame, destitute of the means
of living, is an object of derision to the
thoughtless, and of pity to the compas
sionate, he is styled a Bummer.' While
I the Bummer' may occasionally be found
in the country village, he is peculiarly in
digenous to the city, where., he and his
confiereg abound in great variety and per
His haunts are the loweat and"
vilest localities, where-his bestial appetites
are gratified to excess, and where the low
est depths of degradation are reached in
the easiest possible manner. Hundreds
infest this city, and can be daily seen
creeping along the streets, pleading for
alms in the most importunate manner, or
sneakingly on the lookout for some article
which they may steal without the proba
bility of arrest. The Bummer thrives
best near a market house, and there are
several localities near the Centre market
where numbers of them rendezvous. No
description can adequately convey a cor
rect idea of the Bummer. It is necessary '
to visit his haunt to fully appreciate him.
Mrs. C. keeps a groggery in a little
weather-boarded shanty, that has withstood
the storms of nearly a century. Of course ,
it has been necessary to repair the build
ing occasionally, and this has been done
in the most homely manner. Externally
the shanty looks as though a gust of wind
would tumble it to the ground, and inter
nally the walls, and ceilings, and partitions
have the appearance of a bed quilt, being
composed of innumerable patch work. The
rooms are dingy in the extreme, and the
floors blank with dirt. The front room is
set apart as a bar-roOm. One or two
benches afford the sitting accommoda
tions. Behind the -bar stands Mrs. C.,
dirty, fat, and bloated. At times as high
as fifteen or twenty Bummers are congre
gated in the small apartment. Those who
have been fortunate or unfortunate enough
to secure during the day a sufficient amount
of poisonous whisky to stupify them, are
stretched on the floor, amid filth and dirt.
The others are busied in cursing, indulging
in obscenity, or pleading with Mrs. C. for
whiskey. She generally manages to keep
all in debt, and as soon as successful beg
ging secures a few pennies they are handed '
over to her, and credit is given to the
amount paid. At night the miserable
wretches stretch themselves on the floor,
or, driven from the house, seek lodgings
in the police station. At early dawn they
are abroad, going from door to door, beg
ging a mouthful of victuals, or besieging
persons on the streets for money.
Frequently they return to the groggery
with pockets filled with cold - meat and
bread, and after satisfying their appetites,
if any food is left, it is secreted in some
crevice, and in some cases, when fears are
entertained that it will be stolen, it is
buried.
If by accident or otherwise a respectably
dressed person enters, the Bummers
throng around him, claim an acquaintance,
and insist on being treated. Mrs. C. is
sure to put in a word, and in a sympathetic
tone assures the stranger that the , g poor
creatures have not had a drop daring the
morning.' The Bummer knows no refusal.
If the stranger attempts to leave,he is seized
by some portion of his garments, and finds
at last that to treat is the cheapest and
easiest way to get clear. Many of these
poor creatures once occupied respectable
positions in society, and not unfrequently
revert to their former condition as a pallia
tion for misconduct. Not a day passes but
a number of Bummers are arraigned before
the magistrates at the several station
houses. They make their appearance at
the bar wearing an air of injured dignity,
and in a consequential tone demand the
cause of their arrest. Habituated to seek
ing the station-house as a lodging-place,
they are under the impression that they
went there the night previous of choice,
and indignantly repel the charge of being
found drunk and asleep on a cellar-door.
They listen attentively, to the testimony of
the officer who arrested them, at the con
clusion of which they look into the officer's
face, and remark, 'you're a perjured man,'
or perhaps, in less chaste language, assure
the witness that he has sworn to a lie. To
the magistrate, in indignant words, the
Bummer protests his innocence, but on
finding that it is the determination of the
Justice to send him over the falls for a
fortnight, his demeanor changes, he ac
knowledges the justness of the charge,
and beseechingly begs for mercy. Over
he goes, however. The cells of the third
and fourth corridors of the prison are set
apart for the accommodation of Bummers,
and generally they are well filled. Not
unfrequently more than half the prisoners
confined are of this class.
A visitor to the jail, in passing along
these corridors, is stopped at every cell
door by the occupant, who begs a chew of
tobacco, and if the visitor is not addicted
to the use of the weed, he is blessed with
a curse, and told to get out of this.'
Unless committed as a vagrant, the Bum
mer's term of imprisonment is over in two
weeks. As rapid as his feet will carry
him, he hurries from the jail to his haunt,
where a few more days are spent in wretch
ed and woeful dissipation, and he again
finds quarters in prison. This life is con
tinued, with occasional, but brief, lapses
into sobriety by, the survivors, when the
coroner checks their downward career for
a few days by holding an inquest over the
body of ono who did not wake from his
drunken sleep, or who, staggering along in
the darkness of night, stepped into the
dock and found death in an element which
he had scrupulously avoided the use of for
years.—Baltimore News Sheet.
[r"' The following notice was found
pasted on the bulletiq of a Western Post
Office, up Nick Whiffles' way :
Lost—a red kaf. He had a white spot
on lof his legs. He was a she kaf. I will
give thre dolers to everybndi wut will
bring hym hum.'
Dom'' Bop,' said Uncle Peter, as he ex
amined the points of the animal, I don't
see but one reason why that mare can't trot
her mile in three minutes.'t They gathered
round to hear this oracular opinion, and
,one inquired What is it V Why,' he
replied * , the 4etanoe is too great for so
short a time .
I A SHORT &DRY BY DICKBNB.---Digkiiii
I tell the following story of an Amerhian den
captain :
On his last vayage home, the captain
had on boald a young lady of remarkable
1 personal attractions—a phrase Inge as one
being entirely new, and one 'you never
meet with hi the newspapers. This young
lady was loved intensely by five young
gentlemen, passengers, and,-in turn, she
was - in love with them ill very ardently,
but without any particular preference for
either. Not knowing how to make up her
determination in this dilemma, she consult
ed my friend, the captain. The captain,
being a man of an original turn of mind,
says to the lady, 'Jump overboard, and
marry the man who jumps after you.' The
young lady, struck with the idea, and being
naturally fond of bathing, especially in
warm weather, as it then was, took the
advice of the captain, who had a boat ready
manned, in case of accident. Accordingly,
the next morning, the five Rivers being on
deck, and looking very devotedly at the
young lady, she plunged into the sea head
foremost. Four of the lovers immediately
jumped in after her. When the young
lady and her four lovers were got out
again, she says to the captain : What am
I to do with them now, they are so wet
Says the captain, orake. the dry one !'
And the young lady did, and married.
him.
A CONFIRMED CASE.—A gentleman of
excellent habits and very amiable disposi—
tion, was so unfortunate as to have a wife
of a very different character ; in short, one
thatwould get beastly drunk. Being in com
pany with a few intimates one evening, one
of them remarked to him, that if she was his
wife—since all other things had failed—he
would frighten her in some way, so that
she would quit her evil habit, and proposed
the following method : that some time when
dead drunk, she should be laid in a box
shaped like a coffin, and left in that situa
tion until her fit should be over, and con
sciousness restored.
A few evenings after, the dame being in
a proper state, the plan was put into execu
tion ; and after the box lid was properly
secured, the party before alluded to watch
ed, each in turn, to witness the result.—
About daylight next morning the watch
heard a movement, laid himself down by
the box, when her ladyship, after bumping
her head a few times, was heard to say :
Bless me ! where am I?' The outsi—
der answered, in a sepulchral tone: ' Mad
am, you are dead and in the other world.'
A pause ensued, after which the lady in
quired again : ' Where are you V Oh !
lam dead, too,' said he. Can you tell
me how long I have been dead About
three weeks.' How long have you been
dead ?' Four months.' Well, you have
been here so much longer than I have can't
you tell me where I can get a little gin V
THE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER
JOB PRINTING ESTABLLSHMENT,
No. 8 NORTH DUKE STREET, LANCASTER, PA.
The Jobbing Department is thoroughly furnished with
new and elegant type of every description, and is under
the charge of a practical and experienced Job Printer.—
The Proprietors are prepared to
PRINT CHECKS,
NOTES, LEGAL BLANKS,
CARDS AND: CIROULARS,
BILL HEADS AND HANDBILLS,
PROGRAMMES AND POSTERS,
PAPER BOOKS AND PAMPHLETS,
BALL TICKETS AND INVITATIONS,
PRINTING IN COLORS AND PLAIN PRINTING,
with neatness, accuracy and dispatch, on the most reasona
ble terms, and in a manner not excelled by any establish
ment in the city.
Cyders from a distance, by mail or otherwise,
promptly attended to. Address
GEO. SANDERSON it SON.
Intelligencer Office,
No. 8 North Duke street, Lancaster, Pa.
•
TXOItSE. AND CATTLE POWDER
TATTERBAL'B HORSE POWDER,
ItHAVE POWDER,
ROSIN,
FENNUGREEK
SULPHUR,
GEUBLAN,
CREAM TARTAR,
COPPERAS, &c.,
For sale at THOMAS ELLMAKER'S
Drug & Chemical Store, West Ring street, Lauer.
feb 9 tf 4
SCHOOL BOOEL S.
All the dlfferentßchool Books now in use In the Pub
lie and Private Schools of the City and County, are for
sale at
LOWEST PRICES,
At the CHEAP BOOK STORE, N 0.32 North Queen et.
HOLBROOK'S MOTTOES for the School Room (cheap.)
A SYSTEM OF SCHOOL GOVERNMENT,
New and very cheap, by dorm ATWATER.
WRITING PAPER, SLATES,
INK, LEAD PENCILS,
STEEL PENS. COPY BOOKS,
NUMERAL FRAMES, GLOBES.
SANDERS' ELOCUTIONARY CHARTS,
SANDERS' PRIMARY CHARTS, WEBB'S CARDS, AND
PELTON'S OUTLINE MAPS.
This aeries of six superb Mape is now adopted in almost
every Reboot of note in the Union, where - Geography bl
taught, and has no equals. In fact, every thing in use in
the Schools. Give us a call and you will be satisfied.
JOHN SHEAFFER'S Cheap BOok Store,
aep 17 tf 36] No. 32 North Queen street.
0151.ETEING FOB. 'THE TEEMS IS I
I) A NECESSITY IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD!!
JOHNS et• CROSLEY'S
AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE,
THE STRONGEST GLUE IN THE WORLD
FOR CEMENTING WOOD, LEATHER, GLASS, IVORY,
CHINA, MARBLE, PORCELAIN, ALABASTER,
BONE, CORAL, Ac., Ac., Ac.
The only article of the kind ever produced which will
withstand Water.
M=:l
" Every housekeepOr should have a supply of Johns A
Crosley's American Cement Blue."—New York Times.
"It is so convenient to have in the house."—New York
Express.
It is always ready; thin commends it to everybody."—
N: Y. Independent.
" We have tried it, and find it as mini in our house as
water."— Wilke Spirit of the Times.
PRICE TWENTY—FINE CENTS PER BOTTLE.
Very Liberal Reductions to Wholesale Dealers.
TERMS CASH.
- -
O. For sale by all Druggists and Storekeepers generally
throughout the country.
JOHNS & CROBLEY,
(Sole Manufacturers,)
78 WILLIAM ST., (Corner of Liberty St.,) NEW YORK
july 9 ly 28
GREAT WESTERN INSURANCE AND
TRUST COMPANY OF PHILADELPHIA.
CHARTER PERPETUAL.
Fire Insurance on Stores, Dwellings, Public Buildings, and
Merchandise generally, limited or Perpetual.
.pire Insurance on .Mu.r..B, Barns mut Cbntents, Mock, Phrm
I m pl emen t s , de. Alto Inland Insurance on Goods
to al parts of the Country.
OFFICE IN THE COMPANY'S BUILDING,
No. 403 WALNUT STREET, CORNER OF FOURTH.
Statement of the Commy;s Businets for the year ending
3184 1858.
Capital 5T23,800 00
Surplus 51,453 03
Received for Premiums $275, 5 9 4 566
Received for Interest, Rent, Jct.... 7,826 49
$99,990 94
Paid Lamm, Fe:spouses, Ocmmis
sinus Re•lnsurances, Returned
Premiums, &o $70,883 00
•
Increase of Fire Premiums over
lastyear's $14,699 89
DecreasoMarine Premiums - 10,426 74
Nett Increase
ABEIZTEI.
Real Estate, Bonds and Mortgagee, $141,240 00 •
Stocks, (Par, $80,310,)......... 47,916 00
Bills Receivable
Unsettled Premiums, and other
debts dne the Company 17,828 02
Caah on hand, and in the hands
of Agents 8,389 29
$275,253 03
PRZEZIDZINT.
CHARLES 0. LATHROP. •
W7LTA A M D - AiLiNGL
BY MAU AND 111481JILIEL
JAARS, WRIGHT.
DIRTZTOBEL
Charles C. Lathrop,l4lB Wawa /treat'
Alex. Whlldin, Merehant,.l.B North Front street.
Wm. Darling, 1338 Fine street.
Dom Haalehurst, Benetton.. a -
. John 0. Hunter, lind of Wright, Hunter . 'A Co; -
Z. Tracy, Armed g TIM* AS ON, Holdmittlys.lralL
Jno. B. McCurdy, firm of .Jo White k HeCtudy,
Thonirus L. (11Deeplei, Brit of 011leipier2 Weir:
James B. Smith, Arm of. Jamea.ll; tispittt.A.oo.
John R. Vogifea; corner SeTenth'ind gaisioni streets.
Daniel L. Collier, &Mat
:Dwane; Fatter, BR slAch street.. • -
Hirlan, - oornieWstinift a izth sheets.
Jonathan J. Mau* 343 _
to .1 gathißmilkokapk.• - • •
- • 0/10._CIALD.za egg4ti;
l'_;117. cogpflieeposattiftlitall:
u Zd ,01riia :111-;:Aa'
somfrraxSO: FOR - TE
- 111- A NECBERy6c EN EVERY ROURNELOLD.
AMERICAN CEMENT GLITE
la the only article of the kind ever produced which
IT WILL MEND LNATints,
Mend your Herne* Eitzaps, -Baits, Boots; dr..
TT WILL MIND GLASS,
Save the pieces of that expensive Out Glass Bottle
IT WILL MIND IVORY, , ,
Don't throw away that broken Ivory Pan, it h wily re
paired.
IT WILL MEND 013INst $ •
Your broken China Oups and Saucers can be made u good
ha new. ..
IT WILL MENt r i MARBLE,
That piece knocked out of your Marble Mantle can be put
on u strong ae ever.
IT WILL ➢LEND PORCELAIN,
No matter If that broken Pitcher did not eaetbut a AU+.
ling, a abilling Bated Le a shilling waned.
-7T WILL MEND ALABASTER,
That vastly Alabaater Tam Ls broken and you can't match
it, mend it, it will never chow when put together. .
IT WILL MOD BONE, CORAL, LAVA,-AND
Any article cemented with AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE
"every Housekeeper should have a supply of Johns k,
Crostey's American Cement Blue."—New York Times.
4 ' It is so convenient to have In the horuseP—Nsw Ybrle
Express.
"It Is aisrays ready; this commends It to everybody."—
independent.
" We have tried it, and find it (us useful In our house air
water."-- Wills& Spirit of the Times.
$lO.OO per year eared in every flunlly by One Bottle of
AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE
VERY LIBERAL REDUCTION TO WROLESALE
For Sale by all Druggists and Storekeepers generally
throughout the country.
To all whom this may concern, and it concerns everybody
IMPROVED GOTTA PEROHA OEMENT ROOFING,
The Cheapest and moat durable Roofing in use
It can be applied to new and old Roofs of all kinds, steep
or flat, and to Shinge Roofa without removing the
Shingles.
THE COST IS ONLY ABOUT ONE-THIRD THAT OB
TIN, AND IT IS TWICE AS DURABLE.
This article has been thoroughly tested in New York
city and all parts of the United States, Canada, West Indies
and Central and South America, on buildings of &Uchida,
such as Factories, Foundries, Churches, Railroad Depots;
Cars, and on Public Buildings generally, Government
Buildings, Ac., by the principal Builders, Architects and
others, during the past four years, andlum proied to be the
Cheapest and most durable Roofing in use; it is in every
respect a Fire, Water, Weather and Time Proof covering
for Rafe of all kinds.
This is the only material manufactured In the United
States which. combines the very desirable properties of
Elasticity and Durability, which are universally acknowl•
edged to be possessed by Clutta Percha and India Rubber:
NO HEAT TS REQUIRED IN MAKING APPLICATION
The expense of applying it is trifling, as an ordinary Boor
ran be coxered and finished the e/110.0 day.
IT CAN BE APPLIED BY ANY ONE,
and when finished forms a perfectly Fire Proof surface,
with an elastic body, which cannot be injured by neat,
Cold or Storm', Shrinking of Roof Boards, nor any exter
nal action whatever.
For Coating Metals of all Hinds when exposed to the
dation of the Weather, and
FOR PRESERVING AND REPAIRING METAL ROOFS
OP ALL RIND&
This is the only Composition known which will success-
fully resist extreme changes of all climates, for any length
of time, when applied to metals, to which it adheres firmly,
forming a body equal to three coats of ordinary paint,
costs much less, and will last three times as long; and
from its elasticity is not injured by the contraction and
expansion of, Tin and other Metal Roofs, consequent upon
sudden changes of the weather.
EMEMM=
Leaky Tin and other Metal Roofs can be readily repaired
with GIITTA PERCH!, CEMENT, and prevented from
further corrosion and leaking, thereby ensuring a perfect
ly water tight roof for many yeats.
This Cement is peculiarly adapted for the preservation of
Iron Railings, Stoves, Ranges, Safes, Agricultural Imple
ments, Au, also for general manufacturers' use.
OUTTA PEROILA CEMENT
for preserving and repairing Tin and otheiMetal Roof, of
every description, from its great elasticity, is not injured
by the contraction and expansion of Metals, and will nett
crack in cold or run in warm weather.
These materials are adapted toall climate; and we are
prepared to supply orders from any part of the country, at
short notice, for GOTTA PERCIIA ROOFING In .rolls,
ready prepared for use, and GUTTA PERCIIA 'OII6IIINT
in barrels, with full printed directions for application. , •
We will make liberal and satisfactory arrangements
with responsible parties who would like to . establish than
selves in a lucrative and permanent business.
We can give abundant proof of all we claim in twos . of
our Improved Rooting Materials, having applied them to
several thousand Boo& in New York city and vicinity.
JOHNS & CROBLEY,
Corner of Liberty Street,
Full descriptive Circulars and. Prices will be furnished, on
application.
NEW FALL-G.OOES
THOS. W. &VANS k 00.
Invite attention to their Large, Varied and Handsome as
sortmtnit of -
NSW PALL GOODS,
embracing all the Newest Styles in BILES, DRESS GOODS,
CLOAKS, EMBROIDERIES and YANOY DRY GOODS.
Also, a fall assortment of
MOURNING GOODS,
$ 4,272 86
This stock is principally T. W. STANS & CO.'S own im
portation, hiving been selected In the best European
Markets, expressly for their own retail trade,-and yin be
found unsurpassed for Style, Quality . and Reasonable
Prim. • . 7 v 7.0
Nos. 818 AND 820 Ozrztsta Eausr... •
BELOW corernriarreLlearior 4 H - :
- "`PuTharlAltgai
N. B.—Wholesale buyers w 11 1 .43 it 'adruntageotii to
examine this Block. - ( 0 .4 6 20/26
44il N '11 . 7 N 0 N °- 9
TARCH g,I . R.RIT- ARON'S TaLID, , S
LIPTON S. NNWCON:IIN,-. t
Privistd_ .t.
IN-This Hotel is centralofonfenient brPassengc Oars
to all parts of- tho city. ad - aNNNArtlonalar adapted to
the comfort and maids of the buslislujiraiLlkh*ri.
.11SP , TERHEI $1,50 PAR DAT: • la. -. " , .Niv1V47 86
'
rriliEl tiio=l w
I. cents, a (way.
thing WO kiw-uksiviewers= as
proem aiy. As .
..40.1 4 1t-Utri ins illi 0 46;1071 — 5 ---- 19 061 061 111 ,1 1ki
.000 p 01 000;03
NO. 4+5.
JOHNS 4! cßqsurrs
AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE
The fitzongeet Enna in the World.
The Cheapest Glue in the World.
The Meet Durable Glue in the World.
The Only ReGable Glue In the World.
The Beet aloe in the World.
WILL WITHSTAND WATER
IT WILL MEND WOOD,
Bare your broken Furniture.
EVERY THING BUT METALS
.will not iihow where it ie mended.
EXTRACTS,
ECONOMY IS WEALTH
Price 25 Cents per Bottle
Price 25 Cente per Bottle
Price 25 Gents per Bottle
Price 25 Cente per Bottle
Price 25 Cents pelt Bottle
Price 25 Cents per Bottle
TERMS CASH
JOHNS ce °BOSLEY,
(Sole Manufacturers,)
WILLIAM STREET, NEW YORK,
Corner of Liberty Street
Important to Ronne Owners
Important to - B -. ak f!.j
Important to Railroad Companies
Important to Farmers
JOHNS & °ROBLEY'S
IT IS FIRE AND WATER PROOF
LIQUID ou'rre PERCHA CEMENT,
AGENTS WANTED
OUR TERMS ARE CASH
Sole sfauttfacturers,
Wnomw,z Waaznousx, 78 wrzaztx ftizz;
•
Wltizt GOODS,
HOSIERY,
GLO EMS, So., So
NW YORK