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mar Mt KM, grk LEBRENNER.
SCILLIFFLETOWN, ALTOSIIT der 4t, 1869,
MISTER FODDER ABRAHAM:
Now awer bin ich all right. Ich bin
happy! My fortune is so goot dos gernacht!
We ich geshter beam bin kumma fun der
shtadt rouse, un we ich ins house nei bin
un de Bevvy g'sea hob em Abey so a
schlutzerly ins maul nei shtecka, donn bin
ich in de hea geiumpt un hob de fees drei
mohl stsomma g'slawya eb ich uf em bud
da aw gelaud bin—yusht weil ich so immer
un eawich goot Obeid bob. Uf course,
du konsht denka, ich war beim George, un
der weg we mer unser political shlate uf
glsetet hen is es now a dead sure ding.
Der Billingfelt is so goot dos gebutta, for
mer hen de arrangements g'macht for eau
rouse tsu tseala, under Shteamy nei teu
tseala, under Duckter aw, for widder in
de Semly nei. Der Shtate Treshery dead
latch shlissel hen mer now secured, un
olles was mer wella, kreeya mer aw, un
sell is unser share fum geld.
Awer ich mus dor dock now a wennich
shreiva fun weaya we ich under George
des ding g'flrd hen. Imarahta platz, we
ich awfonga hob mit earn tsu shwetza, hob
ich can arnohl glfroked for mich dorrich
un dorrich of posta, for de fact is ich bin
now aw ufs geld macha ous. Unser
g 7 slhpriech konn ich der ousfeerlich gevva,
un do is es:
"Now George," sog ich, "explain mer
amohl oily particulars fun dens Duck ring,
oder society, fbr ich will now olles wissa."
" Pit," secht der George, " konslit du a
secret holta?" " Ich koun," hob ich
g'sawt. " Awer mind, warm ich dich now
in de secret luss, muslit kea wart sawya
tsu der Bevvy derweaya, for de weibsleit
bobbella olles was se wissa, uu aw ordlich
feel was se net wissa."
"Nay," sog ich, "es brauch der net
bong sei dos ich der Bevvy a wart sog,
was se net wissa dxrraf."
" Well Pit, donn doh Beats—awer, geb
mer narsht amohl a thaw-duwack.,,
"Sell use ich net, un hob ken," hob ich
"Well donn, will ich der now amohl
olles sawya fun unserm Duck ring. Doh de
yohr we ich's g'shtart hob, uu der cheer
war, hob ich de kterls als shweara macha
fair mei kondidawta supporta. De arshty
dos ich nei grickt hob warn so fun denna
unsbuldiche flim county, his ich an ord
licher influence secured hob, un donn is
es de leeders in der shtadt bong warra, un
for my influence tau secura, sin se aw
krunma, eaner noch em onner, bis kb der
entire control im county g'hot hob. Der
weg we ich g'managed hob war des: De
wu grosser influence g'hot hen im county,
donna hob ich evva ols de outer fer
shprocha, providing se hen eara share in
de treahery nei betzahlt, un, of course ich
war aw selver der treasurer."
" Awer," sog ich, "du husht doch net
offices fershprocha tau all denna wu dich
".Oh, nea, uf cuorse net," secht er,
ordlich feel hob ich uf kawfa kenna, for finf
bis tsea un fuftsea dahlees shtick, accord
ing tau earam influence. Un now!mogsht
mer glawa odder net, Pit, es deat dich fer
wunnera wan ich der mei account weisa
deat, so dos du Beane kensht we feel ich
shun betzahlt hob for township pollytish
ners uf kawfa."
" Un awer we der deihenker husht du
donn all del geld gltuacht, 99 sog ich, "wann
de so feel busgevfa husht mit uf kawfa."
" Ei Pit, is es donn now miglich des du
de commony principles fun commerce net
fershteasht? Denkeht ich bin so an dummer
etude doch ich nix du dos geld ous be
tzahla? No sir-ree,",:secht er. "Ich hob
in bricka baua jobs olleanich shun fin
motif so feel g'macht dos ich ousgevva hob
uf der wog we ich gesawt hob. Un awer
de fetty jobs mach ich ols in Harrisborrick
De kferls wu ich doh im county ols uf
kawf sin wohlfealer shtock. Awer wann
ich unnish Semly menner deal, un in
bricka contracts un in onnery jobs, donn
goats dick nei—donn mach ich ols mei
bank accounts uf de recht side folla."
" Now sea ich shun a wennich in de
sacha nei," sog ich, " awer now suppose
mer geana mohl on business. Geb mer
now amohl del set wu mer nei leckta
"Pit," Becht er, "du bisht all right,"
awer es duty net dos mer olleweil noch de
secret rouse lust. About de negsht woch
will ich ders gevva."
" Awer," sog ich, bisht done shuro dos
de kterls all dertsu shticka?"
We ich sell g'sawt hob hut er so a klea
bichly ous seim sock rouse un sogt:
" Beasht des doh—ich will nix glsawt
hawa, uu awer doh hob ich—luss amohl
eana, drei-un-dreisich nawma fun keerls
deuna ich finf dahler's shtick gevva hob;
feer un tswansich on tsea dallier; nine on
tswansich dahler shtick, un dri un tswan
sich hob ich fershprocha peashter un fool
der tsu , pointa. all de kterls woona
in unuershidliche dell! fum county. Dc
gons sum amount yusht tsu iinf hunnert
un finf un achtsicli dahler, un de helft fun
sellam mach ich der Shteamy betzahla, de
onner helft der Duckter, noch au helft der
" Awer shtopp! Shtop! hob ich g'sawt,
du busht yoh olleweil shun meaner ger
echelt dos de goes sum ous macht.l
" Yob, uf course bob ich," secht er,
" for sell is der weg we mer a balance uf
de recht side grickt."
Ich bobs grawd ei g'sea. Der George
is shmart. Er fershteat sei bisness. Ich
nook under. We kummst dos ich now all
mei leawa so dumm war un ne net so bis
ness fershtonna hob? Awer, ich bin om
herna, under George is an sounder shool
Awer de bisness hut aw sei drawbacks,
for mer konn de leit net all trowa. Er hut
mer g'sawt dos der letsht winter hetta de
Sesnly menner can ous tinf en tewaesich
hunnert dahler betrohya, for ous drei dau
sand dahler wu ins county g'shickt is
warm fun Harrisborrick, doh forram
yohr, for de recht shtripe Semly menner
uei tsu leckta, hut er net meaner dos
about elf hunnert im sock goplta, un de
balance is nouse gonga for operation. Donn
hut er fun yeadam Sernly monn sex hun
nert un finf-a-tswansich dahler gluddert,
un awer se sin all back uf can pun un
hen earn nix gevva. Mit em Duckter
awer, but er an satisfactory arrangement
g'macht, un, uf course for can geana mer
aw widder. Awer de onnery sin net one
Now, won mer succeeds, Becht er, will
er proweera an bill gepass'd tsu kreeya so
dos mer Semly menner uf kawft according
tau law, in schwartz uu weis, so dos se
sich net men dos ea mohl ferkawfa henna
In a woch odder tsea, dog will ich der
all unser particulars shreiva fun unser
ring kondidawta, so dos unser freind
seam kerma for welly doe se vota, missa.
Der George hut g'meant ich set gor
nix derfu shreiva for in der FODDER
ABRAHAM., awer ich bin sure dos so long
des mer de nauma net published, so shots
aw nix. Anyhow der George konns net
lease wane aw im FODDER ABRAHAM
shteat, well er so orrig shlecht is in }Eng
lish, un all mei breefa sin in .zEnglishe
bushdawa. Uf course, wanns in rale
deitsh weer, so we selly Reading Adler's
Tseitung wu der Kitzelderfer grickt, donn
deat der George es aw ousfinna, for Belly
konn er leasa.
Now, Mr. Fodder Abraltam—yusht ge
duld. Es goat nimmy long eh ich der de
fully particulars geb, un aw de Bons lisht
fun unser kondidawta, un donn, slitand
PROF. PIT SCHWEFFLEBRENNER.
N. B.—Der George hut aw forshprocha
mer eel bichly tsu weise.—sei Blue Book—
un donn kon ich der aw de nawma gevva
fun de township politisheners wu unser
Duck kondidawta supporta, under prise
was betzahlt is warra beim George for an
yeader, so dos de leit aw Beane kenna wttr
unser freind sin, un nei goat for ehrliche
leit ols kandidawta. About acht dog for
der leckshun, donn look out for de lisht—
uffiishel un reliable!
A GOOD STORY OF AN AFRICAN CHRIS
One of the colored churches in Georgia
was about to rebuild its place of worship,
and held a meeting to discuss the ways
and means. At this meeting, after some
debate, the following resolutions were
1. That we will all give something.
2. That we will give accor ling to our
3. that we will give cheerftilly.
These resolutions'were forthwith reduc
ed to practice, and the various members
of the meeting, one after another, walked
up to the desk of the presiding officer and
deposited their contributions. At length
there came up one, the richest man in the
assemblage, with a gift.
The pastor, for he was presiding, took
it, looked at it, and seeing that it was not
so large as several sums that had been
given by poorer men, said: "Here, loud
der Jones, die won't do. It's accordin' to
de lust resolution, but not accordin' to de
Brother Jones went to his seat,ehagrined
and mortified at the laugh raised at his
expense, but presently he came back again
to the desk with alarge pile of greenbacks,
which he threw down before the paitor
with an angry air, and a "Dar, take dial , '
" Dat won't do, needer," said the pas
tor. " Brudder Jones, you's been gone
and done accordin' to de first resolution
and de second, but you don't gib cheer
And so brudder Jones a second time
went to his seat with his gift refused.
He sat there moodily in silence for a
while; but as one after another of his poor
er brethren threw their mite into the
treasury, his face lost its sour expression,
and soon he came up a third time to the
minister, and with a smile tendered the
money to the minister, saying, "Please to
oblige me by takin' dis, sir, for de Lord's
The pastor took the gilt thus offered,
saying, "Tank you, brudder Jones, dat's
right, for days accordin' to all de reso
A MORE infamous and corrupt party
than this cursed Copperhead organization
never disgraced any country. With them
fraud and perjury are among the political
virtues. The vicious and the vile find in
the Democratic party protection for their
calling, and no thief or murderer can be
brought to justice in New York city.
FIRST Bo Y.-
"(fit out—he's no democrat."
SECOND Boy.—" Yes he is, though. Don't I know where he roosts, down in the
Fourth Ward? Did'nt I see him up at the Merchants' the other night when old Asey
was there? Did'nt he got that new rig for his boy the very next day? And doesn't
he play that same tune that he did when our fellers was goal' in for Seymour and little
NEIGHBORING COUNTY NEWS.
CHESTER COUNTY.-Archimedes. Bobb,
Esq., of East Whiteland, lost his house by
cholic Sunday week Daniel Chrisrran,
of West Vincent, has a cornfield of forty
five acres Jennie Taylor fell down the
cellar steps at George Card well's residence
in West Chester, last week, and badly
sprained her ankle W. B. Menermond,
of West Chester, on Wednesday week, had
ono of his hands severely injured in a game
of base ball; and Thos. W. Taylor received
a black eye, while indulging in the same
sport The scholars of the Baptist, Sab
bath School of West Chester, passed
Thursday last, in the woods on the West
Chester Railroad Apples are plenty in
West Chester, and selling at ten cents per
half peck Iron ore has been found iu
the neighborhood of Oxford Jacob T.
Miller, of South Coventry, fell from a hay
mow last week, broke his arm, and
otherwise injured himself A camp meet
ing, under the auspices of the Conventry
ville M. E. Church, will be at Coventry
ville commencing on Monday, August
23d, and will last a week.
SOHUYLKILL COUNTY.— Gleanings from
the Journal : The stables ofMessrs. Isaac
Orwig, Charles Fegley and Christian Ber
ger, at Orvvigsburg, were destroyed by
fire on Sunday before last Ella Rein
hemer, aged 11 years, was fatally burned
at Auburn, by the explosion of a coal oil
can whilst to kindle a fire An
eight year old son of Edward A. Shartel,
of Pottsville, accidentally cut off three of
his fingers with a straw cutter William
Uren, a small boy, at Pottsville, broke his
leg by jumping from the roof of a small
building A girl named Waters, aged
16 years, was burned to death at Girard
vine, by pouring coal oil iu the stove for
the purpose of kindling a fire, the blaze
setting fire to her clothing A german
named Nicholas Rains, aged 45 years,died
suddenly at Mahanoy, on Wednesday be
fore last, of hemorrhage, and his body
was taken to the hotel of Bernard Banks.
Mr. Robert B. Davis, late of Davis ? Fales
& Co., coal-shippers of Philadelphia, vis
ited, with two friends, a aolliery at Sha
mokin in which he had an interest, and
while coming up a slope 600 feet deep, 70
degrees pitch, he was knocked off the car
by a roller from the iron rope, and precipi
tated a distance of 300 feet, and instantly
killed, his brains being knocked out.
BERKS COUNTY.—Gleanings from the
B. et S. Journal: The names of streets
are being put on the lamps throughout the
city of Reading An excursion party of
about one hundred and forty proceeded
from Reading to Cape May on Friday last.
....Six different Sunday School excursions
from Reading are announced, to take place
during the present month An unknown
man was drowned in the Schuylkill at
Reading, while bathing one day last week.
....The State Camp, order of Sons of Amer
ica, Will hold a session at Reading, on the
10th, 11th and 12th inst., and a grand pa
rade will take place on the 11th The
Head Quarters of Post No. 16, G. A. it..
has been removed to No. 717 . Penn ea.,
Reading, and the name changed to "Post
Joseph A. McLean, No. 16, G. A. R., "
in honor of the Lieutenant Colonel, of te
88 R e giment, P, V. wlto was killed in the
second battle of Bulk tun Charles Bow
ers was arrested at Reading last Friday,
on a charge of burglary—stealing some
clothing from the house of Mary Greth,
910 Court Street Elias Ehret, a huck
ster was instantly killed near Bernville,
by jumping from his wagon while the
horse was running at full speed. !Ind tm
managable by reason' of the brOicing of
the lines.... Sarah Marburger of Reading
gave her husband a licking,, and the latter
instituted a prosecution against her for as
sault and battery.
YORK COVNTY.—The Union Lutheran
Sunday Sck?ol will hold a pie-nic at Han
over Junction next Thursday The True
Democrat states that "a farmer by the
name of Jacob Tyson, of Springfield-twp.,
left a single head of oats at our office last
week, which contained four hundred
grains." Hon. J. S. Black, injured some
time since on the Louisville and Nashville
Railroad, has returned to York....J. A. B.
Shaub was arrested in Harrisburg several
days ago, charged with having stolen a
horse belonging to George Hartman, of
Dillsburg The York and Adams county
African Methodists will hold a camp I. • •
lug in Wolf's Grove, near Getty •
commencing the 19th inst The or
County Medical Society has been organ
ized by the election of the following offi
cers: President, Dr. B. F. Porter; Vice
Presidents, Dr. J. Sappington, Jr., I Dr. S.
J. Finley; Secretary, Dr. W. B. Bigler;
Assistant Secretary, Dr. A. M. Ramsey;
Treasurer, Dr. James Y. Bryan; Standing
Committee, Dr. J. R. Bardwell, Dr. N.
B. Bryan, Dr. D. M. Bigler...Fifty pounds
of lard were stolen from the cellar of Dan , l
M. Smyser, last Friday night.— On next
Sunday the corner stone ofthe new church
of the United Brethren, near Conewago
will be laid with appro
priate services Rev. Moses Walter, of
the Central Pennsylvania Conference, died
on the let ult., at his residence in Lower
dux gime Ooltro.
—Why are girls in Missouri alway.
a .eet? Because they are Mo. lasses.
—Stocking's are now darned by ma
chinery—and they are darned nice.
—When is a butterfly like a kiss? When
it alights on tulips.
—The following sentence will show the
importance of the position of a comma:
" Woman—without her man, is a brute.
—Why was Noah never hungry in the
ark? Because he always had Hain with
—Bully boys naturally take to dirty
faces, torn trowsers, wading in water, and
eating green apples every half hour. No
thing up to the boys—unless it be the girls.
—A learned doctor, referring to tight
lacing, avers that it is a public benefit, in
asmuch as it kills all the foolish girls and
leaves all the wise ones to grow up to be
—Why are youg ladies, at the breaking
up of a party, like arrovrA? Because they
can't go off without beaux, and arc in a
quiver until they get them.
—Aid often comes at the right time,
but this is not the case when the point of
somebody's boot assists you in coming
—A soldier was going off the field too
hastily, when the provost guard cried:
"Halt!" "Can't." "Wounded?" "No."
"What's the matter?" "I'm pc(tred and
want to go to the rear to—rally!"
"Aw! how do you like my moustache,
Miss Laura?" lisped a dandy to a merry
girl. "Oh, very much. It looks like the
fur on the back of a caterpillar."
—Women are said to have stronger at
tachments than men. It is evinced in little
things. A man is often attached to an old
hat; but did you ever know of a woman
having an attachment for an old bonnet?
—To make little boy's trowsers last,
when you make a suit of clothes for them,
finish the coat first, and by so doing you
will make the trowsers last. It is the only
way the thing can be done.
"Mammy!" said a precious little boy,
who, against his will was made to rock
the cradle of his baby brother, "if the
Lord has any more babies to give away,
don't you take 'em."
—"Bridget, what have you done with
the cream? Those children cannot eat
skimmed milk for breakfast." "Shure,
marrn, and it isn't meself that would
be afther giving the scum to yees. I tuk
that off and give it to the cats."
An incorrigible loafer being taken to task
for his laziness, replied: "I tell you, gen
tlemen, you are mistaken. I have not a
lazy bone in my body; but the fact is I
was born tired."
—A young fellow eating some Cheshire
cheese, full of skippers, at a tavern one
night, exclaimed: "Now I have done as
much as Sampson, for I have slain my
thousands and tees. of thousands." "Yes,
retorted another, " and with the jaw bone
of an ass."
—Fanny Fern says : "If one-half of
the girls knew the previous lives of the
men they marry, the list of old maids
would be wonderfully increased." Where
upon the Boston Post asked : If the men
knew what their future lives were to be,
wouldn't it increase the list of old maids
still further ?",
—A minister once prayed in . the pulpit
that " the Lord would bless the congre
gation we/ 0)14 apd that portion 'of it
which Was on its way tdchurch, and those
wno were at home witing reedy, and that,
in his infinite patience, he wonid grant the
benediction to those who reached the house
of God just in time for that." The con
gregation came in time after that.
"Now young people," said a professor
or natural history to his class, "now then
as to hens: A heu has the capacity of lay
ing just six hundred eggs and no more,
anti she finishes the job in about five
years. Now what is to be done with her
after that?" "Cut off her head and sell
her to a boarding-house keeper for a spring
chicken!" exclaimed an urchin whose
father dealt in poultry.
—A gentleman going down the river in
a steamboat the other day, missed his
tooth-brush, and on looking around was
astonished to perceive a stupid gawk
applying it vigorously to his tobacco
"My friend, you have made a great
mistake in using my tooth-brush," said
"Your what? your tooth-brush? You
don't mean to say that this here's your
"I do sir; but it is of no consequence
now; you are welcome to the brush."
The fellow looked puzzled at first, as if
he suspected a trick, but at length ex
"Here, you take your confounded thing
umbob. But I should like to know what
has become of the tooth-brush that belongs
to the boat."
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FRANK LESLIE'S CHIMNEY CORNER,
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NEW YORK LEDGER,
ARTHUR'S HOME MAGAZINE,
NEW YORK WEEKLY,
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are sold upon the most reasonable terms, and
guaranteed to give satlsfaotion.
Keeps also on hand a good assortment of
Call and examine the goods before purchasing
Thankful for past favors ,I solicit a continu
ance of the same. HENRY F. ANDREWS
Jan 1-Iy9 Strasburg, Lancaster co., 11 a.
Books and Stationery.
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°MOE: No.ll NORTH DUKE ST., west side,
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• ATTORNEY AT LAW.
OPPICE: No 2.45 SOUTH QUEEN ST., Lances
1 - 1 P. ROSEN
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ham," Lancaster, Pa.
A. C. REINGEHL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Darwin No. 3 SOUTH DUKE ST., Lancaster
JOHN P. REA,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Orator With Hon. 0. J. Dtcsay, N 0.21 SOUTH
QUEEN ST., Lancaster, Pa.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
()FMCS of the late lion. THADDRIIS SIMMS,
No, 26 South Queen St., Lancaster, Pa.
A MOS H. MYLIN,
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Orvioz: No. 8 SOUTH QUE EN ST., Lancaster
1" K. RUTTER'
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With all the Latest Improvements.
air The Wheeler & Wilson Sewing Machine
was awarded the only GOLD MEDAL given for
Sewing Machines over eighty-two competitors
at the Universal Exposition held in Paris, 1567.
Machines sold on Lease Plan at the (lash Priet:.
ONLY TEN DOLLARS.
PETERSON & CARPENTER,
64 N. Qneen-st., Lancaster, Pa.
p. s.—Evergetio Business Men wanted to sell &
the Wheeler Wilson sewing Machine in town
and country. Good inducements. [Jy•23-nn
GROVER & BAKER'S
FAMILY SEWING MACHINES,
495 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
130 CHESTNUT STREET, PHILADELPHIA
POINTS OF EXCELLENCE.
Beauty and Elasticity of MAO.
Perfection and Simplicity of Machinery.
Using both threads directly from the spools.
No fastening of seams by band and no waste
Wide range of application without change of
The seani retains its beauty and firmness after
washing and ironing.
Besides doing all kinds of work done by other
Bowing Machines, these Machines execute the
most beautiful and permanent Embroidery and
Sir The Highest Premiums at all the Fairs
and exhibftione of the United States and
Europe, have been awarded the Grover & Baker
Sewing Machines, and the work done by them,
wherever exhibited in competition.
SW The very highest prize, THE CROSS OF
THE LEGION 01 IiONOR, was oonferred on
the representative of the Grover it Baker Sew
ing Machines, at the Exposition Universelle,
lt*37, thus at testing their great superiority
over all other Sewing Machines.
For sale by
North Queen street,
THE HOWE SEWJNG MACHINE,
As a Holiday Gilt to a Sister, Wife or Friend
they are unsuoassed.
The Farmer wants it for his Family.
The tress and Cloak Maker prefers it.
The Seamstress wants it, because its work is
sure ttigive satisfaction.
The Tailor has long ago decided it to be the
beat for his business,
The Carriage Trimmer cannot do without it;
an 4 Mislabels Fitter Ands that, alter all, the
111 Mil isibe machine for him.
T hi , everybody • will have the
Iverylekrue 5 iyartedted.
Every owe may tinS pheseasorof one of these
tmetralled machines, as wit eaMmeor to make
the terms of sale suit Vl i sser euelcmsers.
We earnestly nritAte wbAlr they purpose
purchagg or not, icticil am et semens of
executed' m on OWE MA.
- CM., and emapare work done by
other snaoldnes. We are willing tealxide by the
SFSM ?rpm Qateen street
T HIS INFALLIBLE REMEDY
does not, like the poisonous irritating
snuffs and strong caustic solutions with which
the people have long been humbugged, simply
palliate for a short time, or drive th e disease to
the lungs as there is danger of doing in the use
of such nostrums, but it produces PERFECT AND
PERMANENT CURES OP THE WORST OASES OP
CHRONIC CATARRH. as thousands can testify.
"COLD IN THE HEAD" is cured with a few appli
cations. CATARRHAL FIRADACHN. 18 relieved
mid cured as if by magic. It removes offensive
Breath, Loss or Impairment of the • ense of
taste Smell or bearing, watering or Weal; Eyes,
andlmpaired Memory, when caused by the vio
lence 01 Catarrh, as they all frequently are. I
offer in good faith a standing reward' IOC) for
a case of Catarrh that I cannot cure.
FOR SALE BY MOST DRITObIISTS' EVERY-
Pains ONLY 60 CENTS
Ask your Druggist for the Rumor ; but if he
has not got it on sale, don't be put off by ac
cepting any miserable worse than worthless
substitute, but enclose sixty cents to me, and
the seined, will to sent you post paid. Four
packages 'LW, or one dozen for .3.00.* Send a
two cent stamp for Dr. Sage's pamphln on
Catarrh. Address the Proprietor
E. V. PI ERO„ M. D.