PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY,
RAUCH & COCHRAN,
- •
No. 11, South Queen Street, Lancaster.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
I eop#, one year, $ 1.50
5 copes, (each name addressed,) 7.00
10 copies " ~ 13.00
15 copies " tt 18.00
10 copieß ~ 14 22.00
And $l.lO for each additional subscriber.
FOR CLUBS, IN PACHAONe.
5 copies, (to one address,) $ 6.50
10 copies " 44 12.00
15 copies " It 18.50
ap . copies " t 4 20.00
-.And $l.OO for each additional subscriber.
401/All subscriptions must invariably be paid
In advance.
JOB PRINTING
Of every description, neatly and promptly exe
cuted, at short notice, and on tho.most
reasonable terms.
Railroads.
pENNSYLVANIA CENTRAL R. R.
Trains leave the Central Depot as follows:
EASTWARD. WESTWARD.
Cinch'. Ex....12:17 a. tn.' Eric . 1:50 a. in
Phila.Exprces 5:12 " .Phila. Exp... 2:40 "
Fast Line 7:02 " Mail 11:15 "
Lane. Train.. 9:05 " !Fast Line..... 2:35 p. m
Pay Express. 1:45 p.m. Columbia Ac. 2:45 "
llarrish'g Ac..5:54 " Harrielft Ac. 5:54 "
Lane. Train.. 7:29 "
Cincin. Ex....10:43 "
READING AND COLUMBIA R. R
ON AND AFTER
THURSDAY, NOV. 26, 1668,
PASSENGER TRAINS WILL BE RUN ON THIS
ROAD, AS FOLLOWS
LRAVE.
ucaster SOO a. in
ARRIVIL
Reading .....10:20 a. in
CI
..... 6:40 p. m
it 1010 a. m
..... 5:40 p. m
RNING:
.3:26 p. m
Columbia .....BKOO a. in
310 p.m
RETIi
EBAVE.
Reading ..... 7:00 a. in
4 . ..... 6:15 p. ni
7:00 a. in.
46
... .. 6:15 p. In
Trains leaving Lancaster and Columbia as
above, make close connection at Reading with
Trains North and South; on Philadelphia and
Reading Railroad, and West on Lebanon Valley
Road. Train leaving Lancaster and Columbia
at 8 A. M. connects closely at Reading with
Train for New York.
Tickets caret° obtained at the Offices of the
New Jersey Central Railroad, foot of Liberty
street ,New York; and Ph Bad elph la and Reading
Railroad, 13th and Callowhill streets, Phila.
Tbrough tickets to New York and Plilladel
'Mitt sold at all the Principal Stations, and Bag
gage Checked Through.
Trains are run by Philadelphia and Reading
Railroad Time, which is IQ minutes faster than
Pennsylvania Railroad Tittle.
GEO. F. GAGE, Supt.
E. E. Kexvita, Gen. Frt. and Ticket Agt~t.
Hey :04 f I
READING RAILROAD.
WINTER ARRAN“EMENT,
MONDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1%8
G reat Trunk Linef emu the North «nd North
west for Philadelphia, Nei" York, Read
ing, Pottsrille, Tamaqua, Ashland, Sha
mokin, Lebonm?, Allentown, Easton, Eph
rata, Litiz, Laneaster, Columbia, (te.
Td•ains leave Harrisburg for I\ ew York as fol
lows: At 3.50, 5.5), 8.10 st. In., 12.40 noon 2.05 and
10.5e . p. m , connecting wit h similar trains on t he
Pennsylvania Railroad and arriving at Now
York at 11.00 a m.,12.20 noctn, 3.50,7.00,10.05 p. m.,
and 8.15 a. m. respectively. Sleeping Cars ac
company the 3.50 a. in. and 10.50 p. in. trains
without. change.
Leave Harrisburg for Reading, Pottsville,
Tams. ua Alin rsville, haaliamokin,
Pine wtt nd elplit a' at
rue a. in.," . ft .0 p. , AZ LOU.
non and principal Way a:Lions; the 4.10 p. in.
i io
i i ir
train making connection for Philadel hia and
Columbia only. For Pot t villa, Bclauy I ilia A
ven and Auburn via So uylkill and que
panes Railroad, leave Lir isburg at 3. p. in.
Returning: Leave New ork at 9.00 a. m.,12.00
noon, 5.10 and 8.00 p. m., Philadelphia at 8.15 a.
in. and 3.30 p. in ; sleeping cars accompany the
9.00 a. in. 5.10 and 8.00 p. m. trains from New
York, without change.
Way Passenger Train leaves Philadelphia at
7.30 a. in., connecting with similartrain on East
Penna. Railroad, returning from Reading at
6.35 p. in., stopping at all stations; leave Potts
vine at 7.30, 8 45 a. m , and 2.45 p. in.;_ Shamokin
at 5.25 a. m.; Ashland at 7.00 a. in., and 12.30 p. ta.;
Tamaqua at 5.30 a. m.; and 2.20 p. in., for Phila
delphia.
Leave Pottsville, via Schuylkill and Susque
hanna Railroad ut 7.10 a. in. ter Harrisburg, a nil
11.30 a. in for Pine Grove and Tremont.
Reading Accommodation Train : Leaves
Reading at 7:30 a. m., returning leaves Phila
delphia at 4:451. m.
Pottstown Acconunodat ion Train: Leaves
Pottstown at 6.45 a. m.; returning, leaves Phila
delphia at 4.00 p.
Columbia Railroad Trains leave Rending at
7.00 u. m. and 6.15 p. m. for Ephrata, Lit iz, Lan
caster, Columbia, 5.. c.
Perkiomen Railroad Trains leave Perktomen
Junction at 9.15 a in. and 5.30 p. returning,
leave Skippack at 8.10 0. m. and 12.43 p m., con
necting with similar trains on Reading Rail
road.
Sumlays: Leave New York at 8.00 p.
Philadelphia at 8.00 a. in. and 3.15 p. rn., the
9.00 a. m. train running only to Reading; Potts
ville 8.00 a. m.; Harrisburg 5.10 4.10 and
10.50 D. m., and Reading at 1.05, 3.00 and 7.15 a. in.
For Harrisburg, at 12.50, and 7.31 a. in. for New
York; und at 4.25 m. for Philadelphia.
Commutation, Mileage, Season, School anti
Excursion Tickets, to and from nil points, at
educed rates.
Baggage checked through; 100 pounds allowed
each I•aasenger,
G. A. NICOLLS,
General Superintendent.
RHADI NA, PA., Dec. 14, letiB. [deelFrlttl/tw
NYORTIIERN CENTRAL RAIL
/A WAY.
Trains leave , York for Wrightsville and Co
lumbia, at 6:20 and 11:40 a. in., and 8:30 p. in.
Leave Wrightsville for York, at 8:0) a. m., and
1:00 and 6:50 p.
Leave York for Baltimore, at 5:00 and 7:15 a.
m., 1:05 p. in.; and 12 midnight.
Leave York for Harrisburg, at 1:39, 6:25 and 11:35
a. m., and 2:39 and 10:15 p. in.
TRAINS LEAVE HARRISBURG.
OWING NORTH.
At 3:20 a. in., and 1:20 and 4:20 p. m.
GOING SOUTH.
At 6245 and 5:15 a. in., and 12:30 and 10:45 p. m.
devil-Ltd
Photographs, &c.
GOLDEN GIFTS
Parente to Families,
Father to Daughter,
Mother to Son.
GENTLEMEN TO LADIES.
When the light has left the house, memorm
such as these compound their interest.
GILL'S SUPERB PHOTO
Miniature or Opal Pictures, admitted to be
thtebest iii the city and no superior in the State
Constantly increasing demand and great expe
rience in this style of miniature give us greater
facilities and better results than any cstallaish
ment outside of large cities.
ST! REOGRANIS OF HoME VIEWS tor the
Centre Table. Also, prismatic instruments.
Large Colored Work by some of the best Ar
tlsts In Philadelphia and elsewhere in the high,
est style of the art. India Ink, Pastille, Crayon
and colors, at
GILL'S CITY GALLERY,
No. SS East King-et_
IiME
Coal.
EHLER, BItENEMAN & CO.,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
DEALERS IN
COAL, OF THE BEST QUALITY.
YAR...CON. WATER ST. AND PA. R. R.
Oision—NO. S EAST ORANGE ST.,
LANCASTER PA. Nee 18-ly
ARRIVE.
LarleaStCr.....9:l6 a. m
....8:25 p.m
Columbia .....9:25 a. m
9.'23 a. m
.....8:30 p. m
to see the right, let us strive on to fintli the work
we are in; to bind up the nations wounds; to
VOL. It.
Claim Ageacy.
JAMES BLACK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
UM
MILITARY AND NAVAL CLAIM AGENT,
No. 56 East King-st.. Lancaster, Pa.
Being duly licensed as a Claim Agent, and
Laving a large experience, prompt attention
will be given to the following classes of claims:
BOUNTY and PAY due discharged Soldiers and
Sailors.
BOUNTY (additional) to Soldiers who enlisted
for not less than 2 or 3 years, or were honora
bly discharged for wounds received.
BOL NTY (additional) to Widows, Children, or
Parents of Soldiers who died from wounds re
ceived or disease contracted in said service.
PENSIONS for invalid Soldiers and Sailors, or
to their widows or children.
PENSIONS for fathers and mothers, brothers or
sisters of deceased soldiers, upon whom they
were dependent.
PENSIONS and GRATUITIES for Soldiers or
their Widows from Pennsylvania, in the War
of 1812.
PAY due Teamsters, Artificers and Civil em
ployees of the Government.
PAY due for horses lost in the United States
1=22112
CHARGES.—Fees fair and moderate, and in
no case will charges be made until the money
is collected. fdec 25-Iyr*
Insu ranee.
THE OLD PENN MUTUAL
LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
OF PHILADELPHIA
ACCUMULATED CAPITAL, $11,000,01X),
After pnytng 1.0131 Seel to the amount of .1,120,000
CHARTER PERPETUAL
All the Surplus Dividend amongst the Policy
Holders every year.
THE ONLY TRULY MUTUAL COMPANY IN
THE CITY OR STATE.
For further information apply to
JOHN J. COCHRAN, Agent,
P. 0., Lane:toter, Pa.
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NEW YORK,
NO. 160 BROADWAY
T. F. FiLL'EAUFF, General Agent for Penn , a
NORTH. QUEEN STREET,
(Above J. F. Long & Son's Drug Store.)
This Company offers more SOLID and REAL
Inducements than any other Life Insurance
Company In the country.
Send or call and get a Circular.
Active solicitors, male or female, wanted in
every township in the State. [Jan I.6ut•
Se wing Machines.
T HE MORE SEWING 'MACHINE,
IMM
EVE YBODY:
As a Holiday Gift to a Sister, Wits or Yrlend,
they are unsurpassed.
Tim Farmer wanton for his Family
The Drees and Cloak Maker prefers It
The 6ealustreas wants it, because its work is
sure to give satisfaction.
The Tailor has long ago cleehlett it to be the
best for bia business.
The Carriage Trimmer mullet do without it;
and the Shoe Fitter ands that, after all, the
HOIVE is the machine for him.
Sooner or later, everybody will have the
HOWE MACHINE.
Every Machine is warranted.
Every one may be the possessor of one of these
unrivalled machines, as we endeavor to make
the terms of sale suit all our customers.
We earnestly invite all, whether they purpose
purchasing or not, to call and get specimens of
the work executed by us on the HOWE MA
CHINE, and compare it with the work done by
other machines. We are willing to abide by the
result.
C. FATE, Agent,
2W North tneen Street
loa 184 f
Book Binding.
GEORGE WIANT,
BOOK-BINDER
AND
BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURER,
NORTH QUEEN ST., LANCASTER, PA.
BLANK BOOKS,
For Banks, Merchants, County (Hue% /a., made
to order.
BOOK BINDING, in all its branches, prompt
ly attended to. (deo 44ern
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:lice towards none, with charity for
nners in the right, as God gives us
We may get through this world but 'twill be
very slow,
If we listen to all that is said as we go :
We'll be worried and fretted and kept in Is
stew,
For meddlesome tongues must have somethirig
to do— ,
For people will talk, you know.
If quiet and modest you'll have it presumed
That your humble position is only assumed.
You're a wolf in sheep's clothing,or else you're
a fool;
But don't get excited, keep perfectly cool—
For people will talk, you know.
If generets and noble, they'll vent out their
spleen,
You'll hear some loud hints that you're selfish'
and mean.
If upright or honest and fair as the day,
They'll call you a rogue in a sly sneaking
way—
For people will talk, you know.
And then if you show the least boldness of
heart,
Or a slight inclinat foil to take your own part,
They will call you an upstart, conceited or
vain;
But keep straight ahead, don't stop to explais,
For people will talk, you know.
If threadbare your coat or old-fashioned yorultr
hat,
Some one of course, will take notice of that
And hint rather strong that you can't pay yOtir
way;
But don't get excited whatever they say—
For people will talk, you know.
If you dress in the fashion, don't think to es
cape,
For they'll criticise then, in a different shape;
You're ahead of your means, or your tailor's
unpaid ;
But mind your own business, there's nought
to be said—
For people will talk, you know.
•
If a fellow but chance to converse with a girl,
How the gossips will talk and their scandal
unfurl ;
They'll canvass your wants or talk of your
..7 ;-:,
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means,
And declare you're engaged to a chit inbari
teens—
For people will talk, you know. II
They'll talk before you, but then at your back
Of venom and slander there's never a lack— f
How kind and polite in all that they say
But bitter as gall when you're out of the, way,
For people will talk, you know.
The best way to do is to do as you pi„, .
For your mind, if you have one, be !
at ease ; I
il l UCZYn r t Intro tg l egnig
For people will talk, you know.
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"Aud don't you know when you will
pass through this part of the country
again, Mr. Vcrley?"
"No, I don't," said the old bachelor,
decidedly.
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lie was something of a bear to answer
so crustily, when Barbara Smith stood in
the doorway, with the shadowy lashes
drooping over her soft brown eyes, and the
roses inciting into deep carmine on her
rosy cheeks, until her muslin dress was
pale in comparison. Such a pretty, big
eyed, loving little Barbara as she was, in
all the blooming freshnen of her eighteen
summers, and the soft sigh that fluttered
up from her lips as the one-horse carriage
drove away, and was checked instantly.
Barbara had no idea of becoming a victim
to unrequited love, though she had rather
fancied Mr. Verley during his brief sojourn
at her father's house.
E INS. CO.
Mr. Verley drove away through the
rustling green draperies of the summer
lanes, whistling softly as he drove.
" I shall be in very good time for the
12-30 train,'' he meditated to himself.
" Punctuality is the soul of business,
and
I never was one of the behind-hand tribe,
thank Providence. Besides, I think
_it was
becoming rather dangerous to remain at
that place any longer. I'm thirty-nine
to-morrow, and that's just twenty years too
old for me to go making a fool of myself.
Fancy me getting married! No you
don't, Joseph Verley, my friend."
As he settled himself comfortably in the
crowded railroad-car, and opened a letter,
the subject again recurred to his mind
with curious persistence.
" The letter of my poor brother's execu
tor came just in time, or I should certainly
have lounged away more time than would
have been either sensible or profitable.
Poor, dear Harold; I don't see what on
earth possessed him to fall sick and die on
his way home from Venice, and leave his
daughter on my hands, too. Why couldn't
he have left a son instead of a daughter! I
never did understand a woman's ways,
and, what's more, I don't want to. I sin
to meet her at Speedville, and take her
home with me, oh!" groaned Mr. N'erley,
referring despariuglv.to his letter. " And
what am I going to do with her when I
get her there, I'd like to know! I suppose
she:s a great tall creature, with ringlets
and ribbons, and just as likely as not, an
Italian lover chatting sentiment to her-41
creature that reads Byron, and keeps an
album, and eats slate-pencils and chalk.
Pll send her to a boarding-school—that's
what do with my niece--and perhaps,
when she has graduated there, the school
master can suggest some means of getting
rid of her. Of course she'll have half a
dozen huge trunks, and a bonnet-box and
a parrot-cage—that's the way women gen
.erally travel, I believe. I am glad lam
out of the way of Barbara's fascinations
now. One woman is quite enough toketp
me distracted with her freaks and her fan
cies—two of them would drive me to
suicide."
Mr. Verlev looked out of the car window
in a sort of calm desperation at the pros
- that lay before him.
LANCASTER, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 1869.
Wintry.
PEOPLE WILL TALK.
Ittiottliantotto.
WHY HE MARRIED.
rare for him who shall hare borne the battle, and
for his pvidon , and his orphan, to do all *Well may
achieve and cherish a just and a lasting peace
among ourselves and with all nations:4-4.Z.
"I suppose she'll want a piano, and may
be a poodle dog—and there's no knowing
what else. I don't see why Harold want
ed to die and leave his daughter to my
(=Oust now. Speedville station—twenty
seVen miles liirther on. I wish it was
twenty-seven hundred —that's what I
wish." • .
And with this vindictive sentiment in
his mind, our hero tieda red silk handker
hief over his head, and tried to lose him
.. fin a series of brief troubled dreams,
wherein the vision of a tall, nice young
lady figured conspicuously.
Are we here already?" he stammered,
starting to his feet, as the conductor bawl
ed out " Speedville station!" and seized
umbrella, valise and traveling shawl, with
the bustling bewilderment peculiar to peo
ple suddenly aroused from sleep.
Speedville was rather a large sized vil
lage, situated at the junction of several
railways—a bustling, thriving little place,
with an imposing American Gothic struc
ture as a depot. Into this building , Mr.
Verley walked, looking right and left for
the young lady whose guardianship he
was to assume.
"Of course," he reasoned mentally,
"she'll be on the lookout for me; women
are proverbially curious."
But Harold Verley's daughter was not
on the "lookout" for her unknown uncle.
When the crowd incident to the evening
train had subsided, and people had gone
their several ways, the only remaining
occupants of the depot were Mr. Verley,
lame old man who sold peanuts and oran
ges, and a decent looking colored woman,
with a brilliant Madras turban on her
head, who took care of the building.
Neither of these could be his niece, so
Mr. Verley, after a little perplexed hesita
tion, addressed himself to the colored
woman,. who was busily polishing the
window with a piece of crumpled news
paper.
Ahem—l wail to meet my niece here
to-day, and—l don't see her."
"I our niece, sir?" what is her name?"
" Verley."
" Oh, yes, sir; she has been here these
two hours, bless her dear heart; she's
asleep now."
" Asleep!" gasped Mr. Verley; but the
stewardess only answered him by bustling
into the inner apartment and bringing out
what appeared to be a compact bundle,
with a pink face at one end of it, and a
mass of tong, trailing embroideries at the
othe.
Jo r sep.l. Verley recoiled i t is - mr as the
angle of the wall would permit him to.
"Why—it's a baby!"
"To be sure it is, sir," said the woman,
"and as fine a little girl as I ever saw;
bless her sweet blue eyes."
"But isn't there a nurse or some such
person here who could take charge of
her?"
"There was a nurse brought heron, sir;
a queer, foreign looking thing, with a yel
low skin and hair as black as night, and
big gold hoops in her ears; but she talked
something about the next steamer I
couldn't understand her lingo, sir—and
went right back to New York on the two
o'clock train."
Joseph Verley stood aghast, staring at
the rosy baby, as it lay crowing in the
woman's arms, and wondering which of
his lucky stars he should call on to aid him
in this unlooked for emergency. A full
grown young lady niece would have been
bad enough—but a baby!
"So this is my neice," he muttered.
" And what the d—l am I going to do with
her?"
lie turned suddenly to the colored
woman.
"What time does the next train for
Winfield leave?"
" Iu an hour, sir."
"Would you be kind enough to take
care of the child until then? I suppose I
must take it home with me; for I can't
very well drown it, or throw it under the
car-wheels."
"Sir!" ejaculated the astonished stew
ardess.
But Mr. Verley turned on his heel and
strode out of the depot, scarcely able at
first to comprehend the fullness of the dis
aster that had befallen him.
The train was at the depot when he re
turned; and the woman awaited him with
the sleeping infant in her arms.
"Asleep, chi" commented Mr. Verley,
" Well that's lucky."
"Where's the nurse, sir," inquired the
woman.
"Nurse! What nurse?"
"Why, I supposed you went to get a
nurse."
"Never once thought of it!" ejaculated
Joseph, madly smiting his forehead.
" Here—give the thing to me quick, the
train is moving."
He had hardly time to spring on board
as the locomotivegave an unearthly shriek,
while the baby followed suit in both re
spects.
Ho staggered to a seat, holding the um
brella and child in one hand; while in the
other his valise swung backward and for
ward.
" There! there! bless its little heart!" he
coaxed, imitating as nearly as possible the
colored woman's formula. We won't
cry—no we won't."
But the baby evidently had an opinion
of its own on the subject, and would cry
in spite of the various blandishments
practised by the bewildered uncle—such
as shaking the umbrella handle, swinging
his watch, and trotting both knees. Peo
ple began to look around reproachfully;
young men shrugged their shoulders, and
young ladies smiled.
"Hush! hush! there's a darling!" whis
pered Mr. Verley. "What does it want
to settle down into such a heap for? a
body cannot tell its spine from its leg.
There! there! it shall look out of the Will
1021
dow. If I could only remember a nursery
rhyme or so. Bless my heart! what lungs
it has! You little beast, will you keep
still?"
But still the baby w e pt, an d wa il e d, an d
gnashed its gums, for of teeth it had but
two. Mr. Verley began to look round in
the car in searelkof some matronly (lame,
of whom he could seek counsel, nut in vain.
There were only three ladies in the car,
and they were young, with round bats and
dimpled cheeks.
"They wont'tknow anything about it,"
groaned Mr. Verley, in anguish of spirit.
'• Oh, why didn't, I have common sense
enough to go and get a nurse. I suppose
there is no danger of a baby bursting its
lungs; but I should think, if there was
such a contingency, this baby was in a
fair way of meeting it. Well, roar away
my young, friend; I can stand it as long as
you can."
Vain beast, and futile as vain, as Mr.
Verley very soon discovered. The baby
not only cried, but it screamed, it kicked, it
doubled itself over in more ways than a
contortionist's wildest &emus could imaw
ine, and became apparently frantic with
passion. The perspiration broke out in
huge heeds on Joseph's brow; his face
flushed, and still the cars thundered on.
"What's to become of me?" he ponder
ed, holding desperately on to the strug
gling infant by the sash that encircled its
little waist, and watching its purple face
with a species of detestation. "I don't
wonder that Harold died! I shall die in a
week, if this thing goes on. And it seems
so easy for Barbara Smith to take care of
her little brothers and sisters. If Barbara
was only here!"
And Mr. Verley jerked the baby up into
a sitting posture with a sudden jerk.
"I'll do it," quoth Mr. Verley. "I'll
take the hack express at four in the morn
ing and go straight there. Ali, you may
stop crying, you little hypocrite, but it
won't do any good; I'm not to be caught
twice in the same trap."
Barbara Smith was watering her tube
roses, in the bright morning sunshine, as
Mr. Verley drove up to the gate, with the
valise and baby in the carriage.
"Dear me, Mr. Verley!" she ejaculated,
blushing 'celestial rosy red.' "Why, what
a sweet little babv:•
Yes; very sweet," he responded, drily.
`•lt is my niece that I was to meet at
Speedville."
'Why. I thought she was a young
lady."
dia 1; hut it seems she's not. Bar
bara, what do you suppose brought me
back," he added, speaking very fast for
fear the baby would cry.
"I don't know," faltered Barbara, crim
soning still more. "Perhaps you forgot
somethin,,,"
fr.
lE
"Yes, did."
"What was it," said Barbara, a little
disappointed.
"I forgot to ask you if you would marry
me."
"Dear me! was that all?" said the young
lady, demurely.
"Isn't tint enough?" any, Barbara,
will you?"
"I'll think of it," answered Barbara,
evasively.
"No; but tell Inc now. Quick! the
baby's waking up."
"Well, then—yes."
Barbara had taken the little thing in
her arms, and disappeared before it had
time to utter its waking wail.
A week afterwards Mr. Joseph Verley
took the 12-30 return, with his wife and
niece, the happiest of reclaimed old bache
lors, and it was all the unconscious baby's
work.
A DOMESTIC FARCE —IN ONE SCENE.
"Why is it, my son, that when you drop
your bread and butter, it is always on the
buttered side?"
"I don't know. It hadn't orter, had
it? The strongest side ought to be up,
and this is the strongest butter I have
I ever seen."
"Hush up. It's some of your aunt's
churning."
"Did she churn it, the great lazy thing?"
"What, your aunt?"
"No, this here butter. To make the
poor old woman churn it, when it is strong
enough to churn itself."
"Hush Zeb; I've eat a great deal worse
in the most aristocratic houses."
"Well, people of rank ought to eat it."
"Why people of rank?"
"'Cause it's rank butter."
"You varmint, youl what makes you
talk so smart?"
"'Cause the butter has taken the skin
off my tongue."
"Zeb, don't lie! I can't throw away the
butter."
"I tell you what I would do with it;
keeli it to draw blisters. You ought to see
the flies keel over as soon as they touch it."
THE yieldper acre and average price
per bushel of crops raised in this State
last year are contained in a table prepar
ed by the Agricultural Department at
Washington. From this it appears that
the yield per acre was as follows:—Wheat,
12 bushels; rye, 13 bushels; barley, 21
bushels; oats, 27 bushels; corn, 35 bushels;
buckwheat, 16 bushels; white potatoes, 88
bushels; sweet potatoes, 90 bushels, and
hay,' 1A- tons. The average price per
bushel on Ist January, 1869, was Wheat,
$1.89; rye, $1.32; barley, $1.64; oats, 04
cents: corn $1.00; buckwheat, $1.09;
white potatoes, 93 cents; sweet potatoes,
$l.OO, and hay, $l6 per ton. The several
crops of Pennsylvania therefore yield the
following money value per acre: Wheat,
$25.34; rye, $17.43; barley, $35.419; oats,
$17.79: corn, $35; buckwheat, $17.99;
white potatoes, $81.84; sweet potatoes,
$149.40, and hay, $21.60.
CASH RATES OF ADVERTISING
of Non part•il eon•tPute ;1 AN,stale
TIME.
1 week .... $ 75$ 140$ 210,535050 001,3.1
2 weeks... 1 20t 1 80,2 70' 450 8.00 14 00
3 weeks.. 150' 290 330 000 1009' 17 00
1 month.... ! 1 751 2 60 '
390,7 00 12 00 20 00
t months.. 275 400 600 10 00 20 00 33 50
3 months.. 4 00' 600 900 15 00 30 00! 55 00
6 months.. 700 11 00 16 50 25 00 40 00. 70 00
1 year 12 00 20 00 30 00 40 00 tO 00 120 00
Executors , Notice
Administrators' Notice
Assignees , Notice....
G'llL`l
torn Notice
SPECIAL NOTICES—Ten cents a line for the
first insertion, and Seven cents a lineofor each
subsequent insertion.
REAL ESTATE advertisements, Ten cents a
line for the first insertion and Five cents a hne
for each additional insertion.
No. 18.
BALL KINDS or JOB PRINTING executed
with neatness and despatch.
To remove freckles, cut them put with
a razor and throw them away: They will
never return.
To bring out a mustache, tic it to a
strong cord, twenty feet long, to the other
end of which attach a heavy smoothing
iron, and throw the latter -from a fourth
story window.
To produce a fair complexion, go to sea
in a crazy old boat, and the first gale you
get into, your face will become white.
To get rid of red hair, hold your head
for a few minutes in a strong blaze of gas.
To preserve your eyes, put them into a
bottle finial with alcohol.
To avoid corpulence, quit eating.
To conceal bad teeth, keep your mouth
shut.
To keep out of debt, acquire the reputa
tion of a rascal, and no one will trust you.
To become a complete book-keeper, bor
row all the books you can and never re
turn them.
To keep your doors from being broken
open by burglars, (1(11 close them.
To keep out of a tight, stay by yourself.
To gain time, steal a watch.
To keep from stuttering, don't talk.
Garlands of natural flowers are now
used in Paris to adorn the hair of ladies
in the ball room. These arc kept fresh all
the evening by quills being tilled with
fresh water and sealed at both ends. In
these the flower stocks bathe their tips.
Plaits of hair hide the mechanism, and
sometimes false hair is rolled round the
quill, which is secured by hair pins after
ward.
pen. Abrahatu'o Chips.
IT now appears that it is about as diffi
cult for a rich man to enter the Cabinet as
it is to enter the kingdom of heaven. If
you don't believe it, ask Mr. Stewart.
Omo contemplates having the Declara
tion of Independence and Constitution in
troduced into all the reading hooks in her
schools.
A CITIZEN of Monterey, Cal., refused
to receive into his hands a telegraph dis
patch from a neighboring town, because
the small-pox was raging at the place
where the telegram came from. Cautiouer
chap,
A wEsTEux paper states that a yo
lady was lately buried wearing a
amount of jewelry, including a gold wa
It was found, next day that the coffin
been despoiled of its silver screws, and the
corpse of all its adornments.
110 N. CHATLES It. ColirliN, Deputy
State Superintendent of Common Schools,
died at his residence, in Bradford County,
on Tuesday last, after a lingering illness.
lie was the predecessor ofCol. Wickersham
as State Superintendent.
THE Nation makes rather a good point,
when it says that "the reason why the
whisky ring is so powerful among us is,
that they have applied brains to the busi
ness of stealing and swindling, and good
people have opposed to them nothing but
rhetoric."
SING A PORE has a boa constrictor that
has swallowed a young lady, who wore at
the time a $15,000 diamond necklace.
The young lady is of no value now, but
the necklace is—so about thirty thousand
natives are diligently searching for the
snake.
A MAN in Newport, N. 11., has
. a good
collection of hens. They laid 1,665 dozen
of eggs during VW, of which 1,612 dozen
were sold for $355.26. Value of the fowls
sold, $10; expense of keeping, $125; clear
profit, $240.20. The lbw is are of the
white Leghorn breed,s-oniti mixed with'
Bolton greys and bantams, and number
about one hundred and fifty.
TuE death warrantsof George S. Twit
ellen for the murder of Mrs. Hill, and Ger
ald Eaton for the murder of Timothy Hee
nan, in Philada., were read to the con
demned on Wednesday last. They are to
be executed between the hours of 10 and 2,
April, sth. Twitchell remarked to the
Sheriti—"The day will come when every
body that had anything to do with my
conviction will be very sorry for it."
!_;ENATOU MOUTON, of Indiana, has ac
cepted the invitation of the board of Com
missioners of the Gettysburg National
Cemetery to deliver the address, on the let
of July next, on the occasion of the dedi
cation of the monument, which will be
completed by that time. An original
poem will be delivered by Bayard Taylor,
and Henry Ward Beecher will perform the
the duties of chaplain.
ON Friday last, as some men were cut
ting a road through the snow drift near
Meacham Corners, Vemont, they came
upon the frozen bodies of Mrs. Emmons,
aged sixty years, her daughter, and her
grandson. The old lady had fallen, over
come by the cold and snow, half a mile
from a farmer's house, through the win
dow of which a light was shining all night,
while the daughter approached a little
nearer, and the boy was within two rods
of the window, 11 e had evidently dragged
himself sonic distance on his ha ode and
knees.
As old darkey at Charleston, who was
imported from Africa some sixty years
ago, says that he remembers being brought
over in a slave vessel. "I was horn in
Africa," he says. " I doesn't know jest
how old I is, but me must be right smart
on for a hundred. I'se old and lame, and
gets a livin on what good people gives me.
I loves de Lord, and will soon go to de
heb'nly home.. lien poor Clesar has no
more hard times, de Sun of Righteousness
shines all de time, and we sing to glory of
de Lamb. Yes, masse, I berry scion goat
home.”
IN LATHER ABRAHAM.
MIE
VALUABLE RECIPES.
$2 tO
2 KO
260
AMIZ'