usiffittanifict .7 . FUN SIOIIWEFFLEBRENNER. ftlalliq ftiii der Widfraw Welder. Scludmarromr, Jan. 5, 1869. j .11110ftsit I'oHW:ft ABRAHAM: Irek wefts net we's is, awer es denkt 'Welt *or hed sella "continued " unna draw du deietsht woeftwe lth glinentioned hob des itjA die ishiont7 ftm der Widfraw Wohler iirtic4 tuella iyet de woeh, for sell, eecht Ilevvyy 'osier weg, des de leit wiesa the ditiekly fiertieh is odder net. Anyhow Ow fun mehig inebhberls weh'er is grawd der uegpht riyver k,umma un Mit WitiWt des a bestitdeal fun der shtory het ish yo iirver litipt;'un &inn hob ich ears "Wm* die telc's 'mein het in my negeh lier breef ni tsu du, well . de gone g'shicht Us ling is fir isaneihi. in now, doh pats for de balance derfu: .Verfteind moan is donn uf un huckt niik onna for si nacht essa, un de widths" lad earn g'saset er set sick seiwer !Minn secht er: " Yoh well awer, uf sotnrse, du netumsht der aw an sits on der dirth un esht iu, fer wenn du net dusht Una ich's selwer net enjoys." , sseht se, " ich hob shun long Isiaseht gessa, awer ferleieht kennt ieh iii each ebbs& extra nenuna.;' 111114 1,7 f course; kannsht," Becht er, "for, Illikflem hate "folder seddamer feel meaner =litre fOr common. Do, luss mich der & shunka fleash uf •-duller du-des is uf course fun Beim• ena soles nn shmoka." 44 Yah," .secht de . widfmw, "my or mistSershturwoner monn war ols so on ig sirubtittltuiteash,un er but ols uftmohls das neniond deat besser fershtea ich we mer can solst un shmoked." goot derfore das er aw an wan fun guter fershtond Allier hund un de katz wara es g7wohnt aka. awv ols .bei tau maths, neavich der 416144.001 de widfraw hut yeadas fan calla a shartitly tau essa gevva. 04- Bell ispasiteaner hund, un de kotz aw," siaig-derentoun. Yjib mac Worm hut se ols so orrig ge- We se fierticii wars donn is de widfraw rl-4h ob-rawma, under moan hut druf &Ist ears tsu helfa. aim, we alies ftertich war, hut se sich g'huckt,alttool under mono of en estnerec. Donn is se widder of un exam jowl si ruck, eb er net boll drunks is, un disatittle hut se ruin gedrcat—de onner side geaya's lire un donn amohl on de uhr os uckt, un es war exactly a fiertle ivver "linsura," secht der monn, " es is noch set shporit—husk dick doh onna, for ich balm der sawya, an monn we ich, der shun rum kumma is iu der welt we ich, in Chitifornia un feel onnery pletz, set net in hurry si for weider gea warm mer on so gin guter plats hunt we des do, mit so an Slay fraw earn so Boot obtsuworda. '•California!+ seeht de widfraw—" (in Amegs - ht &eh now net das du fu,n Wirer *** lumonshat" Somehow, se hut olefort ago glawa ghat das we der Sam Shnyder illo aochbershat ferlussa hut is er noch gonga. Doch war 815 sell net sure. We se sally froke on der monn hitt, is earn alles, somehow, orrig allrifole 6 1 1 karma. 4i Yob," seeht der 111111111 m, "-Joh war fear yohr in Clatiff:train, 11114 war aw of ma shit in unnershiodliche .la fun der welt. ,, "Is es donn migLich!" 4 ,, a is aw koryose,” secht der moan, "Om mer So orrig uft ea kloss leit aw- -fir de kea heamat hen, un doch macs, aver risht. tors week fools, an AIX welters duhna for sick selwer, un Widmer ode Wks, for de same ursach. "Un was Is do= de ursach?” 4' El weeiht's nett" •,. Nay; ich konns net sawya.” . Becht er, " Well di weibelelt se ,APP* im shlecht um, gems se for 11101ennes item In de welt un gevva nix wu ovum odder we's eana welter floSsehew, sevramall tswea shtill g'huckt isl* elfish mlXuutta. Wetly , aecht de widfravr, " wane de INltsdelt awer Intruvvolkumma, dekenna sit Wise with der welt rum we de monns *l---laWeet eatlS missa derheam bletva un ilOgoet dians iffier konn. Un kit denk palm mer de Wohret wist," secht se, "doll hats aw feel - weitedelt do yusht so pay ursaeh hotta fort tan gea." 4 -•` f eslu;sr Rill peril dlawa." "Now," secht de iddfraw, " weil du so Allhig in Ualifornis wsrsht. will 'ieh dtch obbas'fkohys—Salti • nee 'bekonnt eiarra, mit emu Shnyder—der EfonEldhny art "simpler? Was—der Sam simyder? Ei er is elms fun meine beshey freind. Un is es (limn miglich das du mit eam be kunnt bright?" •' Ei yah—ich war eau als Boot bekonut --we kb noch a waffle war—un wtt nit we bight du eau Bonn bAannt warra?" "Ich un ter wara beinonner of eam un de Bons tseit (las vier in Califor nia warn." "L n we ktimmt c r dnnn aw—is er g'sund?'. " So g'sund das a mensh si konn, un so shtorriek un so hearty we an shoff ux," secht er. " 1.7 n tif COLINV, er is ;LW content; un happy?" "Well, fun sedum kanu icholleweil nix sawyer—yusht ich w•eas this er geld ge maeht hut, is reich un kummt rso Boot aw we so leit for common duna.,, " tru hut er aw• Ri fraw bei Rich g'hot in California?" "Si fraw ! Der Sam is aw eans fun denim wu kea fraw hut "- " Oh—ieh hob yusht net g'wbit—de fact is—ich----du immht—ich hob evva net g' wist for sure eb er fraw hut odder net, '? secht de widfraw. “ Nay,” secht der monn, "der Sam is !loch leddich; Ich keno ems gout un weas aw warum das er noch leddich "vow," seeht de - widfraw, "Hog mere dock—yusht weil ich•ean ois .so goot be konnt war, for sell dent ich anyhow gleicha tsu wissa." “ Ei er hut mer seiwer mea das amohl g•sawt das es eantsich Wetbsmensh des er geglichft hut, un heira hut wella, is amohl mit cam ous-glolla ; un earn der sack gevva, un donn is er ob usy lint de nochbershaft ferlussa.” "Un hut er der eara nawma g , silwt?" "Der tersht nawmaw eas ich 1100j1sept, ,, secht er, "es is Lizzy." We er sell g'sawt hut is de wig:OWN of g'shtonna un gedu das wann se tealobas gucka wet. Der mom but a*Cfillsea das se ahhordidh feel in dem Sam dhupler interest is, un donn froked elm "Ferlicht ketuoght dude hizzy.” " Yah ich du." secht se. " Do& now uet! Uf wail* swicdtuk MI aw g'heiert allewell, un leotht mit (limn 'noun." • Nay," secht se, "eara numpLis deat, -- shun long." Den Sam wterd se weld gum-Wagger gessa hawa---denksht net?" " We set ieh sell wissa?" "Ei bisht net earn freind?” • " Yah des bin ieh—als '• Well Bonn, setsht aw wissa eb se welt ebbas fum Sam denkt:' " Now," geeht se, " *atm du Ater .fer shprecha duslit nix tsu neniond sawys—un a w net tsu cam selver warm du 'yea widder seasht, donu will id' dera nzsietly • sawya." "Donn yusht sawgs—fer ich ferebsprech dens a secret tsu holta." • " Well donn, sog ich der; das se hut can neat net fergessn. Dem monn si shtool is ufs wennichsht sivva tsoll neacher nivver tsu der widfraw earm shtool g'shlipt. We kummts donn das se annonner net besser fershtonna hen?" froked de wid fraw. " Ei," seeht er, " se sin oils ohna ursach—so We de yungy led elmnohls duns.'' " 1.7 n hut er deer alles g'sawt?" "Yah alles—we mer mitnonner of em Ala wara." " Hut er de Lizzy , orrig gebleamt?" "Nay—net so feel das gbh . selwci. Er hut mer tait rsawt das wane er yusht tsurick gonga wter tin het ea goots wurt g'shwetzt mit der Lizzy donn weer apes recht kumma " Uf course . wars " Becht se, " for se hut vier aft glsawt das se can Fern genumma het wanner ristertiftddertiamma weer." "We is se donn awkumma mit 'em menu vu se noehderhond g'heiert hut?" " Well, so-so—er war orrig goot tsu eam " " Awer du meansitt se 'bets' doeh besser geglicha waun se 'eat Sam si fraw wter g'west?" " Well yah,” secht se, " uf conrse.” " Sell% was mich froh macht tau hearal' Becht der monn. "Un now mus ich der nw an secret gevva—un du musht der Lizzie sawya—sog ten earn: Lizzie 1— Ei was macht dish donn so hrehreckal) "Oh, nix welders—di Althorn is so feel we—we muter daa ich ala helumnt war— awer—go on—sog was lob du soil." " Well, log er des der Sam noch so feel fun ears denkt das amohl; das er glicklich genunk war in der welt farms'fortune tan macha; un das want sets reed is doan will er kununa un de Waft fan seine dawya um de hell leawasnit cara." De widfraw wax, widder ahtill for a pear minnutta, un det top e letlitt un a wen nich nes% nous geguc " Well," secht der moan, "wit's der Lizzy sawYaint "Ich will." " LTn mind. krgess net tan sawya das der Sam se haws will for si fraw." "Ich sog eons ones," sec& se. " Pu was denksht das se solo dertsu?" Ei was konn se sawys? Yah," sogt se, " sell is sure geautda " "Hurts for de Lissy!" Becht der njonn, un grickt se aw grawd fesht nu gebt er a buss." " Lus mach gea," secht se—" nemond des der Sam konn sell kumma." " Un nemond das der Sam seat etch's unnernemma," un we sr aell angt mist er al folshy hohr un grosser bord thin kop, un sure encash dort mato-dig Siam tm do Lizzy, face to face! Even der hand un de kotz hen gedu des warm 'se Named' hetta day der mono mit em *mai un *de shitoSertsw 4k! "het a Melva un sick erheam "Dacha in sellam grossa awram ehteotdeet did* as diee Wert. De bochteldt. to„JhgeVanteut i*aer woch, un doe Maya AIR-11i ohor -mama els noch utemotta plate. /eh hob inch an onnery guty shy, Ina welly 'Ada Lek eleh an osummnuaill. Prr Scumarmaasulennea. ' A. ' 'Nitta& nfflatiltir tirm ORLIIT.AE SPED 'HIS MENA Tie St. Louis ZWlnsoeral of Dec. 80,says: AllllllWitehtfted lithintlifilt 'touts, a pto- . feselonal gentleman% of ,Arliable judgment, his just returned from Washington, /where he had an intraditikallo Mal litsident and very pleasantly relates eimwacteristiemof the interview that go Sar4eiatigbit the clear thought and the intispodest judgment of the man whom the pessple4imsor. We hope to bear from our friend often, and present his sketch this morning under hi own title of— AIWA niMilnlAMit 41inliiiiiniin. GRANT. It was my g... fortune thin morning to spend a short t . e with the man to whom, more than any other, the eyes of the nation are at present turned. The headquarters of the armies of the United States is an unassuming two-story building, formerly a private residence, di rectly opposite the NaVy Department. In company with a Mend your correspondent presented himself; inquiries g of an orderly in die hall if the General ,Was in. Receiving an affirmative reply, our cards were sent in. In a few moments we were requested to walk up stairs to the General's aloe. • His office is a front room on the second floor, about siztaen4eet by 4WD- It la carpeted with si *psis carpet of bright, cheerful colors, giving the room - the air of a parlor rather than that of a business office. There are two windews in front and ona at each side. By the side window Ja a low desk fora member of hie shot I§l'e _r jt is a table about six kdf long, onvoisit ft plies and bundles of official documents, all tied with the inevitable red tape. Grant's desk— a common office desk—is between the front windows. A frame covered with suspended maps and half a dozen charts eoutplelle , the furniture. When we entered Ilie-Oesepa •waseut. In a moment he entered by 0 side door. No one could fall to reeog a lthh instantly. g i The likeneses one sees everywhere are ver like indeed. They do not flatter, as is until the case, neither do they make him yours r than he really appears. The pictures we see of Johnson are not like him ; he is much older, more wrinkled and careworn than they represent him. Not so, however, with Grant. The pictures of the shops, the par lors and cabins, are strikingly true repre sentations of the man. Grant's countenance is pale and has an ex pression of sadness. Re has a noticeable stoop of the shoulders and walks with a shuf fling gait. He looks like a man burdened with care and anxiety, and as if it was by a strong effort of the will that be was bearing It, determined that he would not l yt a r in oi g t i or be affected by it. He was dressed in a plain suit of black, with nothing whatever about his pawn or office to indicate his rank. After a cordial Ong be Awed lit seats, and ha a very mop, Wallis: way entered into conversation. In a few moments Senator was Ninon - 11M, 'With 'MTV of Louisiana. '•: - •t,A , i t " Genertd," said the Senator, "J udge wishedi to see . you moment" and con sult with yitol2 In re WA to the' bis velment of thelevees of the er We wish the United Santa Government to en. dome,. and thus, ipstawntee, the bondq of the State of Lesisiana fes the restendien and ha provement of the levees." " I hope the Govettuneht win sot ixo jt,,- the Genoa implied, with a iids, posinw utterance that was t otsi ~, 4 ., 1 ,,,, Ii Mal on that BMOC*, islt 114 -t 7 , n i p "But Gwasral," Gut 1- ' , 6 rall only wish the U States to intkprse the bonds, so that we eleilawill three Without a ruinous disoot o 4‘ .. ..,•U i ,, ample securft •eV • I r i • t it would be for 1 I to lose a awake awl . __,l . . Again Grant qtd " illiNer knew a govern ment his for any amoun t _ Gwat it, . . , ly have to pay. You now Worse* molt of the bonds. If that is glv will soon want to legislateofoe the , , ' the bonds." " Gail"aid tbs showitir,..Pro Aro too had an . " While we art; diseul l tkles,V said Grant, "how the be **ln paid, I shall oppose any In et the na tional obligations.' "it I s *nll4Wate lindp" interposed the Wr. 1111 0 0111 , 81 absolutely . Ol "I know Ske WNW' nit sare rad self frith 9 11 40 ' • self trim the • " But," said the . adllides o of the best laud ta r *" orld sift* 6) overflow." " Let them . ofiefibilKiii underwitorisid Ofait, "is* ow owners," that Northern SON sad Northern capital theidt! "dose haled pro!t i r tind ampleiTim, of riter Mats, sod Your bpi_ MAN •iimir Imes aeit change this s pardeb. I Welt 110 trey the - . .4 1 r e a 4 . • II • • . • 4ES. DAVID 11:1111410t, Aquibet *moral it i Government otnildhave adapted for rebuild , int the • levees but to *Meant the lands of those engegad* roil* and used the pomade to resales the amatry. As that was tot dela,' taillfing reniellan but to•set I your negroes to wort and Invite* and wel ; came Ncietbent mom" . "lierneral„. `" said the Judge, *the negroes won lk wcwit," I " Won't work I" Grant quietly replied. I "Thorn work ttymettlaty thearlbrtku I "Am I not , right lei tionlidled.- 4 41 s there not such a hostility to Northern men that it ; amounts. in most sections of the State, to'f I practical exclusion of them from the &grief!- , Lurid interests of the country I Is thew sot an unwillingness to diet& up the lands , and i sell in small parcels to those who might emi grate ? and is Channel a generel tendency to secure the services of the negroes without prompt and adeqtaatecentpensation,?" "I must say,' said the Judge, "that there is more or less troth hi Al these points." 1 "Then," said Grant, "I tink you will t have to build your own levees or wait under water until you are wining men should come in who will build them." The.abovo, though not all that was said, gives the substaece and spirit of the conver sation. It shows much more plainly than any statement I have seen, precisely , *here ' the President elect now stands in reference) ! to the South. This conversance' shCws that whatever he may hereafter 49, hs now stands by his past record. Ile n3eAne that a citizen of „the United States shall ha recogaized as such, and secured and protected in his rights and privilegra in ennif State ; that the freedom of the freedman shall be recognized and his labor fidrly compensated ,• that the national obligations shalt ntli he foomastd, and that the promoters of the late war at the South shall not be aided by the governnient in re ; pairingibe damages occasioned by the war. The result of the tateeeinal was a strong conviction that Grant Is a radical in the =Oat radical *ease of the ,p9littoid term ; that all I parties North and South.: Wobld do wisely to recognize the fact and set accordingly. That he will follow course of Johnson I T M and abandon the pert ilked him, and eit to any extent ide biniself with his I enemies and oppon r itt' the war, is con trary to the character of the , rasa and his I present positive and denely expressed eon , victions. Grant's manner is that of quiet ease, per fect self-reliance, and the most positive con victions. lie expresses his ideas in short sentences and in a low tone of voice. Although there is a remarkable olietneas In his winner, there la at the same time matted 1 positiveness of utterance, to !such a degree, ; indeed, that one feels tit* there* very little use in replying- to in adverie opinion. j Though there was nothing approximating to rudeness, yet there was tit pbsitlimsesi in his first ghost rennin's to the lootdifaoa Senator and Judge, lhat leg With nein* heart nor ; to .their muse further. ilt Inn el -ai e •, t . *bat they tiled I aliet... QM. ItiL t : - :', T AI! thq o o i cribs thin. vain , ' ' et Ilk* allt SS premien on th - —4 I 'Boat kg e is, : '' ~ i ta= ehtlialph. UP mad W * as ketibr. hets,nov( boottiranat upon, you /014:64Pitirattott,ft ,latielll MP , fig ht it , out moot lime- , , - , as4s-,.._ _OaOAT= rt.fi r luringii,c• xvidura ,irstaomma„,"....zau . . • the arohpteets ief your , awn liatitme- VirAltni, '4ft r Ate i Sat e id iLix ' . Ir* Iiir '1111 11441t" 181167"1 . .e . . . 4410W 1 ,440ftlidAiminet. Don't 1114611 adnag Alt heel, ry ~ ' - _per own out. Abtrfetlie vi gi ls ii'mdtkr / 101 .. todalitY 'Aumalle ; Y Y 4 7 l L- wps Ivor i kinvitwomier don't a SZ=lienly "lll 4fttie l ittemt sasian, with a rifshb illilivil•Mitalla VIPs that move the world. The great dire of •Nunitifug. lain take a litir share of the' work. Civilny spoks ped,idng and buys everything •i'ilkietAteildt. ' Don't smoke. Doan edies.. Dealt swear. Doult gem *. Della Don% steal. Don't de advs. - WWI tails. 1111PlignORY *mew Ma, Be idnd. - ...y hard o Ita earnest.. : .... , 1 " . t'. 'Mad your good beeks. Love , , Love 14 1 cif • waft and .. Love truth. Lova virtue. 4 + do what your eon solassos, Ssillyan 'to be a duty, and lam , —.......me5s with God. t=a Two Plitsbarg ksliosos u *mul e: lle el ilo Vogl pounds an nandintsly carted 1 °esti „ , • WAS MTh. Nutter le vety lt*h ' and it ioedesirable to increasethe supply of an article in such general 'use. There is but one way of doing this. We cannot increase tbenatuber of cows so as to meet the demand this fall awl 'win ter, but we can, by- liberal feeding, Aside the cows that we have to give more milk, or at least we can get milk containing from one-third to one-half more butter. That liberal feeding wili do this there tan be no question. What extra food to.give depends on circumstances. The quality of the grass at this season is apt to deter - orate, and even when there is abundance of it, a little richer food can be given to the cows withgreat advantage. When grass is short, there is still greater neces sity for, and advantage in, providing extra. In many seetione there is much corn imperfect , qred, and there allelic ne better. wail of Onpving of it than to feed it out, Stalks and all. to lunch cows. This will save husking. If well cured and put in small "tacks or in a barn, with layers of straw between the corn, very lbw of the soft ears will mould. A liberal supply of such fodder will keep up the flow of milk until Christmas, and if the cows are provided with warm stables, butter may be made nearly all winter. When there is no fodder of this kind on the farm, feed ordinary corn stalks, or hay and straw; with a liberal allowance. of some kind o f grain or of oil-cake. Proba bly ours meal is the eheapest food that can be used, and se-lbr V the writer's experi ence extendi,. he has never ibund any trouble inviols it . Four quark a. day to each cow bare been used with great ad vantage, and at the present price of ;outlet such feeding is quite profitable. Some dairymen prefer to feed half corn meal and half bran. When peas can be obtained at about the saniepriee as corn, a mixture of equal parts of corn and pea-meal is per haps the very beet Mod that can be given to a cow. If wheat bran was cheap, say but a little higher than hay, we would feed that also. But our object is not so much to say which is the lest grain to feed nAlch cows, as to urge farmers to feed grain of some kind. It does not so shuck matter what— only give the cows a liberal supply of food, and they Will return a liberal supply of butter. The .kfnd ofgrain and the way of feeding is left to the judgment and good sense of the readers. When it is conve nient it is better to "slop" the cows, but if not oouvenientrthe fodder may be ehaffel and moistened with water, and a due pro portion of meal mixed-with it, care being taken that the manapti are so coastract ed lb to &Void waste. With a good supply of feed,- regthitity In feeding, conAreable stables cleatted out slaiiy, proper, ventila tion, ihd 'Orator , ()Ugly accessible, there is no trouble In doubling the ordinary quan tity of butter from now mail mid-summer or Istee.:--Aawrjoan Agriculturist. ROPINffY TIE BBST POLICY. A few days ago a youth of about six teen came from the country to Boston'to fill a subertlinat i e situation in one of our first merenitilti houses'. The head of the firm received-the youth bathe moot friend ly imumar, Mick:caused his son to take the atrang 'around town and show him the ppied places during the afternoon of nts artnett. While amusingtheinselvas in this way the stranger youth told his oompanion that, in coming swag in the train that morning, ho had given s boy a bright cent for a pond lily, and' that the coin having been mistaken for a five cent piece, the-vender of iiiiea had paid him four cents back as chang t The mere 's eon questioned the honesty of the t unction, but the young from the country defended it on the score of smartness. — Shocked at the ab sence of pringfple in his companion, the merchant's boy told his father of the trannetion, Who next morning interro gated 'the young man :from the country cots:4ov it, and &and that he was somewhat inclined to pride himself 011 ac count of the art. "Was the ohestbag of a poor boy who, perhaps had a sicken:other to provide for liillustor, not oritel,. let alpne its injustice ?" queried the geed snesebant. " It was his les& este the boy replied : " Was your fop iNuif pc, dishonest?" asked the pierchapt. "1 doelt iotow that it was. rre Quot to base beau mart siiousitaNA o evwake the memey.” items nian, ll said timuiseardmit,:" &I 'year the ftstehts %tin %hare in the esittier g I ; id if 4, ' , am_ me, 1 belisve the, . woiikl WO , . , . a hots in suppockd a r., , , , • , . , The skh inlay • reldisk , ,P, They, have not burned a hole in mine, sir ~' , ' , , I `llted at dheeveril* auctindestob it , At . ,,' to ,y , .. p. . e znit 41 3 rws to d him it was bn . • _, e t employ one who, , , tad such t netiene denerain+small thin* r., in matters of gres44 nos title ponsessor of such loose ideas honesty would most likely give way.4l :1 I ti sent hems With unieh i lVace. ,t id yi?ntti,vras , te miliiithar War ihem the merchsat the atihir stated a . e, and e 2 , scirdit that the elk ' ' ' 4 402 5 4 11 4 - ! ,.. t, I ,ri 1 # illeiXoy out 'lb ce , .". : Igo .boY Hut an denlkont_ *OW , In Illb ; and ibis heysikthatitha limos *by teach , ti rc atio Ills* m ilisseety is, the hest ter enya : .Wllll SIMIr WON laic Safur ottlti a p p b erk! motlint tongue : remegre Them Ilmpotkin ,yigMatetil" , ao name IWA!WM &kr • of the Howl Efetw 4 • _ Val/2**n .. L 6 whom it meg 401 mar 4w2leeP; be ' • for the t ` would ninft to - YOU W true one of them. A pretty ongside of an lehrymirWater9 Apex Aorta -650 Xlam- gilt,* Soho. dream you arc a pig, behooves you to guard.well your tongue, lest you turn out a bore. .—An old bachelor is a traveler on life's railroad, who has entirely failed to make the proper connections. —A crusty old bachelor says he thinks it is woman, and not her wrongs, that ought to be redressed. —A country youth says a lady with tt Grecian bend looks like a crook-necked squash struck by lightning. —This is Plc greatest sugar consuming country - in fhe world, and that is why girls are such sweet creatures. -41_ )10 C l l l 4or. he dislikes . young married cottpks, " because they are so apt to givp t4l.*lvnialeirs'." —Why are a fashionable young lady's brains like a speckled trout ? Because they love to sport under at waterfall. —An unpoctical Yea'Lee has described ladies' lips as the "atoning gateways of bOaeks, pork, sr arcrout anttpatatoes.,, why are the taws at present lihe Black Crook ballet pith ? ftmnse they present an extebsite stray of bare /imits!. —Solna one says the best way for a man to train up a child in the way it should go, is to travel that way occasionally —A crooked person saki, "lie CUM straight from home." "Theo," said a sailor, "you have twee warped by the way.', osbßP,says ho has " seen some 1 m461 .. 1)04 OesiM ammo eampletely eared 1 in Bdays Itqf An* Amiss s temperance society." —bayAliate to her new husband: John, what rock does true love build upon?" 9noth Joke, and grinned from ear to ear, The rock of yonder cradle, dear." —" Why do women spend so much time, and money on dress?" asked a gentleman of a belle. "To worry other women," was the diabolical but truthfhl reply. —Senn° andtdeter asserts that paper makers Aro the greatest magicians of the age, inasmuch as they transfer beggars' rags into sheets of paper for editors to he on. —An Oregon journal is progressing. It notices bikths under the head of " Come;” marriages it styles " Fixed to Stay;" and deaths it reports under, the head of "Ckme.”; • —" I am afraid you /Lave a settled mei-• ancholy," said a landlady to a cadaverous lodger. "No, madame," he replied, "my melauchnirwon't settle; like your coffee, it has too much grounds." —A revivalist encountered a large-sized African and asked him: "My good man. have you found the Lord`?" To which Rambo replied in a surprised manner: " Golly, mama, am de Lord lost?" —" Mike," said a bricklayer to his hod man, "if you meet Patrick tell him to make haste as we are Waiting for him." "Sure and I will," replied Mike; "but what will I tell him if I don't mete him?" England, no nutu a thinks of black ing 'his . own boots," said a . haughty Briton once to Mr. Lincoln, whom he found pol ishing his calf skin gaiters. " Whose boots does he black?" quickly responded Uncle Abe. —" What harm is there inn pipe?" says young Puffwell, " _None that I know replied his • companion , " except smoking induces drinking—drinking in duces intoxicKtion—intexicatioh induces bile—bile induces dyspepsia—dyspepsia induces pulmonary. consuntption—pulmo naryconsumption induces death—put that in your pipe and smoke it." —A distinguished visitor once entered the counting rooitt of Rothschild, who was very much magaged. Without look ing up he said: "'rake a chair and be seated." The gentleman addressed, feel ing aggrieved at , such a reception, remark ed: " You did not perhaps hoar my name; lam the Count —." "Oh, yes p ," re lied the banker, r take two chairs, i f you please." —A lady of distinction gave a fancy boll not,krn t e t Z, god in order to he dis tin,guhanid a servant at the door to t announce t e costunies as they entered. A couple it ladies appeared he full ball rObirt *Osir.h‘ifiVhat °memo shall I ea tit ' • 0641111Orrint! "We ate .` .41.;; , , 10 xiir - they replied. "Ton cil , rms ostgipa l lt shouted the ser vant, to t . rro r -e everybody. , 4 .-"1‘. ~ so ifisidnimbioaestel niece to p. tiet 4 6 . "seer are yr/ti psy ~* ~ , , A , AVPII9, us get scirpo preit, • ,_ ~ Jae good Uncle teutldt; you. licambis, hiss , tious sAO ve." A&Amit Xeklahilitedisp het hoods,nad son illtopeled VA 11611=i nd etpreilpieso "Jose, 'if they Waiff lin of amid at the Jadwpt,.thix 9-ip V* *Mout it intlaeMPAra; vi, Sea You, helLllo there In tbne.” • , . ===ll a =iorg 7 1I X' " ‘4lllllll 111410. ~‘l4t vP„ 2 ,nn *roes SKIM(' uo 4. 4 • /04/14 4 4)1,Cul tin.* IP m u ngg/2 2 V IY = burg. il* sittem&ybo illerWe• .0. :op