rtnnogivanioth g moth.
BREEF FUM SCHWEFFLEBRENNER.
Scum 1: FLETow N,
Decentlwr S. j
MrsTElz Foram:, AnnAnAm:
In meim let shta breef hab kit atnohl
awfon ,- gemaeht for de shtory fun mein
leawa tsu shreiva—fun tier twit aw we Hi
nosh so au kleaner shpringer war bis of
der hcitieh dog. Warm ich aver tsurick
deuk, was tell shun alles g'sea un gedu hab,
dorm kummts mer fore ich het mer an ord
lieh:groser job miner numma, for MI glawb
now sure net das an monn tsu lima is,
anyhow net in der noehberslut ft fun
Sell:billet( mil, (her shun meaner ups un
clowns ;'hot hut das
In mcina yingcre weas noch
Boot--wara de kit bi weidani net so hock
tneedich un su loblthth we allowed, tin des
is air eNactly der Bevvy eara incanung.
Leh racers noch gout. We MI noch yunger
bit war. un We jell :its prtlickly hussa ge
ilrawya hob. Sellantohls hob ich als nix
tierfu getlenkt, uu awer heitiol dogs Beata
de yungy lama us an gros..y shoed con
sidera scan se nous gea misty mit rata patch
of eut clbohya, (alder of hussy sitz.
- Now, contend das hussy f c el
lesser lif(• l sa Bas ferrissany liussa tint cm
lu in-!.liwantz llama rouse henlia. Dc Ewt
lii eto , ran
patch, nrseint elhohya tsu lutwa, for it is
knit slwnd. Es is an hvweis this er an
guty un rechtshatlcny mommy hut. Un
wants ich tsu decida het that ich anyhow
sawva das es feel inea reshpectable is a
dutzend patches of de hussy tsuhawa, Bas
so ruin liiafa in de shteddle un de alts h it
cam gold slipenda for lager beer. chaw
duwock tin cigars, un ollerlea cautery
shleeltly welter an - tsu dreiva. Es lint ol
leweil gcnunk shinarty, tut reiche, On de
centy kit, de in cam yungy dawya aw als
gotlickty bursa on jackets itw g'hut hen,
un se sliennna skit :tic net alleweil es set
wer tsti sawva.
Un wt. tvel ymigy utter wterra
ufgehrocht we my ally, de Bevvy? _Leh'
(dawl4 ken emit siche. Yusld fashions
dtMa shtudya, un (14)11 maehts art' gor
nix ow- el, se 'trod im hous hen odder net.
lull tt e;4-4 men (las ea mo4dle dolt in Schiff
&tow n das tip-top rouse kummt, utit
denna thimme wasser-tolls, till limey bon
ts, (in seitleile sacks, nil hoops, till 1.11111;1,
tut high heels, under deikenker wells was
plies, yusht lin• an show macha. un (loch
wis7.:l oily hit das a deal fun calm so awram
sin das sellam Trisha si vung seily. un sell
war so nliticitlich awram un so) wintslich
mawyur das als an k'uup in si suhwantz
4.1 , 1)min:4 hut SO tins es net but kunna tm
nich der deer dorrich shluppit. hit
hill tutiroly g'satistied das wann mut. yuslit
a deal full denim hock-nweiliche mud
earn homder, tut unnerruck, tin slitrimp
tut sash ehmohls seana kent, das in44r
tsu der oluchtsion ktumna mist das an in
vestment ill scarp bree, wesh-masheena tin
shtrieknoadla ordlich goot awgeweud
wverra kent. Amer warm pier sead
Brous rum manila, uu sieli gross weisa,
dewed de mommy de house terwat Mhaiit,
done meant tiler net Bas es si kennt this
se sieh net stiennua derweaya.
We ich sivvatsca vohr alt war--we me:.
noch dort out blow bterrick g'wolint hen, ,
hab ich ids beam gemachty hussa gewora,
tin rinds-ledderiche shit, un hemmer de
fun tsean cent musleen gemacht warn.
I'm We iclt Wrsilt mit der Bevvy bekont
warm bin but seals an elf-bens kordoon-
Mier frock aw g'hot un a bonnet (las aw
nit bonnet war—kens fun denia macka
plashter slit . ) le, wit nix das yusht so rib
bons uu (mery krixa-fixa— awer an realer
bonnet, das aw der kop tsu gedeckt hut,
un wann mer der nevvy ins g'sicht gucka
but wellu, (limn hut mer sich fore se shtclla
missa, front face un eyes right. Un now,
des erinnert grawd draw we ich fors
tersht mold mit der Bevvy !team bin. Ich
war yusht a wennich ivver tswansich yoltr
alt, un war k'necht uf a baucrei, un amohl
ca owat war an lodwterrick frolic (lort oils
Sam Kisselwetters, un ich, uf course, .bin
aw onna, un we us atnohl ons ebble sheala
un slmitza gonga is done hen evva de
buwa un de tilted sich all so um der gross
dish rum g'huckt, un grawd on de terwat.
De Sally Bensamacher, de war aw dort,
un es is so Whappend das se grawd fore
nicer uf der miler side Etna dish g'huckt
hut, un tveil de kterls es ous g'funna lien,
somehow, das jolt sellamohls miter hewt
bin film lxuldolya, hen se aw grawd aw
fonga se tsu ruuna derweaya. Jolt hab
nix drum gevva, un awer de Sally huts
net shtanda kenua, un se uf un ob, un in
an onnery shtoob, uu hut gedu das wann
se bees weer derweaya. Ich hab awer noch
derhond ous g'funna das se anyhow nix
um mich gevva hut, for se hut shun em
Joe Lutzamacher fershprocka g'hot tan
mit earn beam gen lussa seller very owat.
Well, des ding war goot —de Bcvvy, de is
donn graved onna un hurkt sick of der
same shtool wu de Sally ferlussa hut, un
sogt, donn, buck ich inich doh °mut,
for ich fierrich mith net for em Ptt Schwel
ilebrenner, un ter fierricht sich deck ich
arc net for Meer—gel Pit du dusht net?"
seeht Sc. Now. de Bevvy de war intim]
sellamohls oils Dachdeckers, un se war an
ivver ons shmarts meadle considered, for
se hut an dallier un a frrtle de woch lohn
ferdeent. Se war :tw ordlich rhea uu sblick
gookich. We mer ont chile sheala want
hut se tiler ols oily gebut amobt a shtickly
obble riv.,•er gelongt un hut mich als ni
beisa macha, un so blesseerlich but seals
geguckt, un tsu mer g'shwetzt, dais iclt su
an ordlich guter impression weaytt earn
krickt hal). We mer ftertich want chide
sheala, donn sin mtr ons reera gonga. lf
course, der wisset we sell neat. For com
mon nemmt als a bu un a meadle initnon
ner fesbt or handle, un don't Beats recta
aw-- so a sort fun a see-saw motion, yusht
das wann cans es tamer proweera Beat
shlofa gea macha mit ma lodwierrick
reerer in der bond. [f course, es is so
g'happened das ich un de Bevvy drei
rounds mitnonner g'recrd hen, un of seller
we 7 sin rater ordlich Great warra mitnonner.
Ich bin anyhow miteara beam selly nacht,
un es is aw ken kritlicher alter ding kum
ma un hut rater g'sawt das es tseit wxr
beam tsu gea we der alt Bensamacher,
sellamobls. 'eh bin beam, aver net (pleb
ready war. un tsu an understanding kum
ma bin mit der Bervy for widder hi era
tsu ruff.
For oustsuthina we niers welter gom , a
nisset er warda of my neagsMer 'lava
im Fmbler Abraham.
SCHWEFFLERRENN El:
I'. S.--lull will noch dertsu du das jell
awfougs orrig geboddert bin mit breefa.
Se shreiva on Which fun oily directions, un
a trader Will wissa was my opinion is Jim
dent un fun sellam. A deal wella ate hawa
(los ich m influence in eara favor gevva
::et, on der Grant. for so mann. Ealler
t~ ill ilaW:t Bas iehl ni gea fur can. for so an
eintly in Ilarrisborrick. of der Scully, un
so feel Bas Mt ousmacha kon is es chhas
fun 'WC:lya l'easta. 1111 folda, glawb i(11.
Se sawya das selly position betzahlt so
ivver ons gout. uu das titer so tsu sawya
nix shallit branch. nn wann sell so is donn
(lola ich by chucks net feel &much frohya
un selwer ni gea &fore. Eauer John
Schweinler will :LW my oltiuiun W issa fun
weaya denim - Rocky Mountain Indianer
kreiter tut wortzla hula NVII manufactured
wa:rra beim Duekter Loxverdriver tut fey
kawft in 01l (le lhaig shtores fun reshpec
tability in der United Shtates. Now, sell
konn jell net ontwarta, for selly hilly hob
ich noch no net proweert, no de Bevvy
aw net. De eantisiebe sort pilla das flier
im house !mita sin de beretanty hoot flu
Liver Refrigerating nit Shtomach ripper
pilla. tut silly. W:11111 mer se rechtshatlit
botta aw. Se sin a sure ding. Se
duna net long rum foola, no awer segeana
grated 011 de terwat, we a Haar shall-uxa.
Anyhow, ich insure se, tin (le Berry `gent
my bail, for se hut sehver sivva of ea dose
g'numma doh ferg,onga we se so orrig un-
11(.1* "elll NVC4ider Ivar. Wann sivva fun
(tonna pilla not :• , batlit, Munn nonit mer
ovva Ilt 'rim , . box. P. S.
OLLEHLEA.
111 Neader pax
mcintl t
--Si. Iwn alleweil tirst rate hlitla ilawn
&mist , in I‘llnnt•sota.
—Der (). .1. Dickey, unser neier
Congres:.inon. is in Washingt(n).
--FATIIEIt Altll-111A31--1.:il) a yolir.
ICa9; not sahst•ribt•il branelt st. aw avt
BM
—An lire in tlytle, N. V.. out letshta
Fridog morya hut','!•'•2s,4)oo wrert property
ferlwermt.
—tie sawva der General Grant het cigars
g'shmoked all de weg fun Washington his
nosh Boston doll der miner dog.
—An editor in Kentucky hut au calcu
lation getnacht das in ftertsich yohr hut er
15•2.1 pund chaw-duwock of gekaut.
—Look out for 'em Pit Schwelllebrenner
si ncies Bucli—ready in a pear dog. Price,
yuslit en ftertle, un sell is wohlfel genunk.
—Want' cans in de ktcrrich gent, un
!waft sick net, done dut mer can evva
tsum loch nous un sogt cut Cr set licam
gea.
—.An batter in Illinois hut 25,000 ocker
welskorn g'raised des vobr. Sell nuts now
an ordliell gross welshorn felt si—denksht
net?
—An Irislter in Schuylkill County sogt
es is for ken use millich in der family tsu
hawa so long , das 'melt whisked• in det
butt le is.
—For n pair tuecht tsurick is ebber in
de Salem (N. J.) Posht Office ni gebrocha,
un hut etlich dausand dallier in checks un
notes g's!Aoki.
—For ous tsu linna we feel loafers un
foulenser int shteddle sin, du yusht tswea
bull hued hi nnich anonner hetza, tut mach
se recht-shatla fechta.
—Tswea trains sin in anonner gerunnt
om letshta Fridog, of em Cleveland un
Toledo Railroad, m Ohio, un a brakesman
till ea passenger sin um kumma.
( —Se sawya es wEera 103,500,000 hiukle
in der United States, mit a capacity for
18450,000,000 oycr tsu leaya, in cam yohr.
Mer meant now net das es si kent das de
over 35 cent's dutzent hoshta.
—Der W. S. Ritter un Jesse G. Hawley,
( de publishers fum Reading Adler—de Bar
' ricks County Beevel—hen de Reading Ga
zette druckerei ous gekawft, un hen yetz
im shin drei Tseitunga rouse tsu gevva.
—Om mitwoch fore acht dog is eaner
Miller, fun Mount Bethel, Northampton
county, unnich de cars kumma, net welt
fun Columbia Station, Delaware= Lack
awanna Railroad, un hut si leawa ferlora.
111
GEN. JAMES L. SELFRIDGE,
Clerk of the House of Representatives of Pepusylvania.
cfelected.
JUDGE HARDING'S BIRTH-DAY Gll7.
Slowly and wearily Judge Harding as
cended the steps of his stately but gloomy
mansion. Not one of its many rooms were
lighted. with the exception of the library
and that used in common by the two do
mestics. Yet there had been a time when
those darkened and deserted igtrlors had
been one blaze of light, and its walls had
ecluwd to the sound of merry langhter and
gay youn! , voices.
Judge 1 1 ardin; , entered the library. :11111
closing the door. looked drearily around.
Yet it was filled with all the appliances of
wealth :mil luxury: the carpet was like
velvet to the foot'. the lofty walls were
bedecked with pictures. and the wide, deep
windows. hun! , with wine-et dored drap;bry
of the richest silk.
A large easy chair was kV heeled ill cr(1111.
of the fire. which gave forth a ruddy glow:
across it lay a dressing-gown. while on the
rug were slippers, alt ready for his feet.
llut.budge 1 larding; knew it was the work
of old Mar g ery, ltis higi,,k,cpur. who.
thml2ll she had been in his service two
score years. ii.ared more than site loved
him. There was no one to brighten at
his approach, no voice to welcome hint!
This thought was uppermost in the old
man's mind, as, leaning back in his chair,
lie gazed abstractedly into the lire. Some
years before, God had called to himself the
wise of his youth—taken her mercifully
from the evil to come. (Me of the sons
she had borne him filled a drunkard's
grave; the other had been mortally wound
ed in some disgraceful quarrel. But Es
telle, his little Estelle, the ewe lamb of his
dock, loved beyond all others, and yet who
had wounded his heart so Sirely. where
was she?
Alt' well he knew that the December
snow was falling upon her grave: that she
(lied unsoothed by the knowledge of his
tOrgiveness.
The iron-gray locks that shaded his
temples. actqa•ded well with the general
expression of the strongly-marked fea
tures, and which were characterized by a
hardness and coldness almost repelling,
yet through it could be seen traces of men
tal anguish of which weaker natures are
incapable.
lie was aroused from the tl gloomy reverie
into which he had fallen by old Margery,
who, opening the door, said:
"There is a woman, with a little girl ill
the hall, who insists on seeing you."
" Did she give her name?''
•• She said her name was Dugald." re
turned I\lttr! , ery, speakin! , with silent hes
itation.
But, contrary to her expectations, this
mention of a name hated above all others,
produced no visible effect upon her master.
"Show her in," he said, after a mo
ment's reflection.
It was difficult to determine the age of
the woman who entered. ller hair was
nearly white, but her eyes bright and
piercing; and her tail, strongly-built frame
as erect as iu early lift'. Though evidently
I a person of little education, her counte
nance and bearing indicated an unusual
amount of trill and energy, combined with
no little shrewdness and effrontery.
Judge Harding, evidently saw all this in
the steady look with which he regarded
her.
You are the mother of the late Rich
ard Dugald? -
- I ant the mother of your late daugh
ter's husband, Judge Harding."
The proud old man winced visibly at
this thrust, but did not lose his self-pos
session.
And this is the child of your son?" he
inquired, pointing to a lovely little girl of
six, clad in deep mourning, who was stand
ing by her side.
"This is the daughter of Richard and
Estelle Dugald; your grandchild and mine,
Judge Harding!" returned the woman in
the same sharp, defiant tone.
Judge Harding could not controvert this
statement, humbling though it was, but
his voice took a sharper tone as he said:
" Why have you brought her to me?"
" Because I have not the means of sup
porting her, and you have."
"Did your late son have no property?"
For a moment the woman's eyes waver
ed beneath his penetrating look, then she
said, boldly:
" Nothing but a mere pittance, which
was more than swallowed up by the ex
penses of your daughter's last sickness."
Judge Ilarding's eyes blazed with a sud
den scorn that was almost startling.
"Do not hope to delude me so easily,"
he cried. "There is not one act of yours
that has escaped my notice. I know that
your son left property which should have
descended to his wife and child, of which
you took possession. I know, also, the
grudging care you bestowed on the delud
ed girl that your son lured from her friends
and home. But let them both pass. I
will take the child and amply indemnify
you from every possible expense; but only
On one condition—that you sign this paper,
by which von pledge yourself to abstain
from all future interference with your
grand-child.''
The woman's eyes sparkled as she caught
a glimpse of the roll of hills in Judge
Ilarding's hand, but still she hesitated.
The sharp-sighted old man saw quickly
the cause of this hesitation.
••T wi:- , 11 you to distinctly imderstand,"
he said... that though I will provide tier
the child, it is'ttot my intention to make
her my heir; 1 shall leave her only sutli
cWnt to place her above want: the bulk
or my property will go to route cliaritahle
institution."
As Mrs. Dugabl lookell upon that reso
lute countenance, she felt that he w as i n
earnest, and without another word she
signed the paper, ainl then, taking the
money the Itulge placed in her hand, de
parted.
soon as she cl,psi.4l the door after
turiti'd girl,
\vim :,tooil rop - ariling, him with a timid,
wistful look.
•• \\Alai i- voltr mono, child?" hi' said.
abruptly:
Estelle llartling Dur - ttld," she replied,
in a sweet. elear voice, that hail a pretty
lisp to it.
1)0 you 1(110W Nvlio lan?..
YOll 41/ . l' nibgrantipapa 'larding
Ali! how many pleading voices arose in
his heart at these woras; but 1w crushed
dient down \ ith a stern ham'.
•• I am not your grandpapa,* . he said,
harshly: — pet must never van nie by that
name.—
The small red lips quivered, and the
soft brown eyes filled with tears; but with
out appearing to notice thent„Judge I lard
ing gave the bell a hasty pull.
• Margery," he said, as that individual
entered, "this little girl is the child of
Richard Bugald. I place her fin• the pre
sent under your care. See that she has
everything that site needs. but do not let
her come within my sight or hearing."
Margery cast a look of pity and tender
ness upon the child, who, attracted by her
kind. motherly face. sprang eagerly to the
hand she held out to her, and then, with
a respectful courtesy to the Judge. she led
her from the room.
Weeks came and went. Little Estelle
grew dearer every day to the likithful old
nurse, who had tended her mother in her
helpless intikney.
She obeyed her master's injunctions,
though many were her inward murmurs
at what she termed his unnatural treat
ment of the child of his only daughter.
This wits 110 t difficult, fur the house was
large, and there were some portions of it
that the Judge never entered. Sometimes,
indeed, Ike heard the patter of the little feet
along the corridor that led to some remote
apartment, or a sweet, bird like voice
which fell upon his heart like a strain of
half-forgotten music, but that was all.
Perhaps Judge Harding's heart might
have softened toward his grandchild had
she come to hink in any other way; if the
(laughter he had once idolized had ex
pressed any wish that lie should take
charge of her. But to have her thrust
upon hint by the woman whose artful ma
meuvres had made his home so desolate,
steeled his heart against her.
She was a pretty, sweet-tempered child,
with grave, quiet ways, and intelligent be
yond her years.
" Witen is grandpa's birthday, nurse?"
she suddenly inquired, one day, nearly
two months after her arrival.
"Let me see," replied Margery, her
countenance assuming a contemplative ex
pression. "It is the seventh of this
month—and I declare if this isn't the day!
I remember it well, for it was also the
birthday of my poor young mistress your
dear mamma. She would have been twen
ty-four years old to-day if she had lived.
Mack! Mack! it seems only yesterday that
I held her in my arms."
Here the faithful creature wiped away
a tear.
"Well, if it is his birthday, I must no
and give him this," resumed Estelle tak
ing a smallckage from the pocket of
her dress. "Where is he—in the library?"
" Yes. But what are you thinking of;
child?" ejaculated Margery, regarding her
young charge with a look of amazement.
You must not go in there; Judge Hard
ing will be very angry."
" I shall be sorry to make him angry,
nurse," returned Estelle, with a childish
dignity quite in keeping with the little
serious face; " but I promised my dear,
dead mamma that I would, and I must
do it."
Old Margery lopked after her with an
expression of astonishment not unmingled
with admiration as she left the room.
"She's a Harding—one can see that
plainly," she muttered, as she resumed
her knitting. "The old Judge may shut
her out from his heart, but he can't deny
but what she's his own flesh and blood."
Estelle paused a moment at the door
which she had never before dared to ap-
proach, and then, as if summoning all her
resolution, softly turned the burnished
nob and glided in.
Judge Harding sat in his easy-chair, the
very picture of dignified ease. Looking
only upon his surroundings, one would
have called hint a happy and fortunate
man; yet many a wayfarer, breasting the
fury of the rude March wind, his heart
warm with thoughts of the dear ones
awaiting his return, was far happier than
the lonely and childish old man.
Ills face was partially turned from the
door, and so softly did the little feet fall
upon the carpet that she had nearly reach
ed his knee before he observed her. In
spite of all his self-command, he started
'• as his eyes fell upon that sweet Ewe.
As for Estelle, her courage failed her as
she met that stern, inquiring look.
" I—beg your pardon," she faltered; "I
only came in to give you this. Mamma
bade me give it to you on your birthday,
and I could not disobey her."
Judge Harding mechanically took the
package front her hand, and, with an evi
dent sigh of relief, she turned to leave the
room.
"Stay, child, interposed the Judge,
"there is no hurry. Sit down."
Estelle quietly seated herself upon the
velvet-covered ottoman to which he point
ed, and Judge Harding proceeded to open
the package.
It contained nothing but a gold locket
he well remembered placing around his
daughter's neck on a happy birthday and
hers whom he once termed his " birthday
gift." Ife touched the spring and it tlew
open. It was his own likeness, taken in
a sitting position. Beside his chair stood
a little girl about six years of age, one
small hand trustfully in his, the other
resting upon his shoulder, while the softly
smiling eyes were lifted to his face with a
look of child-like confidence and love.
The warm tide of awakened tenderness
that swept over him melted every vestige
of the ice that had gathered around his
heart. In regard to their unhappy es
trangement, had not he been most to
blame? Did he not indulge her in every
idle whim, until her will grew strong and
imperious, and then curb her suddenly
and harshly? had he dealt more i , ently
with her, would she have taken a step
that hail wrought them both such bitter
IMEI
As he raised his eyes, they fell upon the
littlo form,that was sittin , %lion% slit! UA
SI
to sii so: many years ago. What a marvel
loos resemblance! It almost seemed to
him tlmt. it must he her very self.
It ! that mother know that
nothing she could Write would soften that
stern heart like this mute rememlirance of
what she once was to him, or plead so elo
quently Earlier oriphan child. Tears gush
ed Irmo the old man's eves. and rising
from his seat. he took the chill in his
arms.
")1v dear little Estelle!" he muttered
"Iny precious birthday-gift! come back
after so long a time to cheer my desolate
Ilona% Nau: , ht but death shall hart thee
and ine.”
That night, when .Nlargery carried in
the tea-thin!..s, she •saw a spectacle that
made her kind ohl heart rejoice, the child
of her dear young mistress was sweetly
sleeping in her grandfather's arms, whose
eyes were fixed upon her with a look of
pride and tenderness.
And giving her a wiser love, a more
faithful guardianship, she crowned his old
ag,e isitl► peace and joy, whom lie took
from henceforth to his heart as well as to
his home—his
[Written for FATHER Ann. AM.]
CORRESPONDENCE.
Letter from a Secretary on his Travels, to
his Assistant ; purloining by Jacob Mull,
N. IL P.
S No. AT SEA, ()et. 1 •:+
ike : I have been very much
delighted with my trip. I had no idea
what a big thing the ocean was. Why,
it's immense ! Only think of it ! we have
been out sight of land for several days. I
had an idea they tied up to a tree at night
or threw a buoy overboard to hold on by ;
and then the ocean is so blue ! I had an
idea it was green. I like it all but its
roughness. It is no respector of persons.
I thought my presence might have calmed
it ; but no, it got up a gale for my special
benefit. And oh, William ! I was very
sea-sick, and was thankful secretaries were
not obliged to go to sea right along every
day.
What an intricate aflitir a man-of-war
is, to be sure. I am sure I could never
learn all the ropes and things. My ignor
ance of sea phrases has been embarrassing
at tines. They talked of tlemish horses,
saddles, bridles, bits, martingales, the
manger and the sick bay, a great deal ;
and I surprised a Lieutenant by request
ing to be shown to the stables. When
they talked of making a pair of shrouds,
I asked who was (lead, and was informed
they referred to rigging, merely designed
for a dead eye. They had a rig on me
that time—don't you think so ?
While sitting in the cabin one day, I
heard the officer of the deck give an order,
ending with spank her ! 1 rushed out on
deck to save the child from a cruel indig
nity, when I ibund he was referring to a
sail to the rearward part of the ship. They
talked about cat-fishing an anchor, but I
hesitated about asking questions, and so
do not know to this day whether the cat
fish took the anchor or the anchor c.•aught
the cat-fish.
They retain many names of animals
about the ship, which arc said to have
been handed down from the time of No
ah's celebrated cruise. For instance, they
have horse blocks, monkey rails, tlemish
horses, dog vane, rat line, catharpins and
cat heads, dog stoppers, fish davit, cock
pit, &c.
But it is getting rough and I must re
tire to my state-room. They are now
reeling the royals. By the way, we aught
to chan,le that name royal—its not repub
lican. Top gallant is very appropriate
for our navy. There ought also to be
another name for the crown of an anchor.
Good night, William. We are now at
least fifty miles from land, and I send this
by a venturesome schooner. Keep the
decks clear, William, and everything snug
for stays, for we may have to• tack ship
again next March. You see lam becom
ing somewhat nautical. 1 have already
learned from the sailors to sing the pretty
song,
My head am made of bombshells, bullies,
Row bullies, row,
An' m_y hair am made of ropeyaras, bullies,
Row, bullies, row, &c.;
but, I will sing it to thee when next we
meet. Ever of thou, G. w.
Our Pale gokto.
—A certain literary gentleman, wishing
to be undisturbed one day, instructed. his
Irish servant to admit no one, and if any
One should inquire for him to give him an
"equivocal answer." Night came, and
the gentleman proceeded to interrogate
Pat as to his callers. "Did any one call?"
"Yes, sir, wan jintleman." "What did
he say ?" "Ile axed was yer honor in ?'•
"Sure I gave him quivikie answer jist.
asked him was his grandmother a mon
key."
—" Bridget," said the counsel to a wit
ness, who had been brought from the
house of correction, " wasn't
.you brought
here on a habeas corpus?" o include,"
she indignantly replied, "I'd have you
know I came here like a decint woman,
on the cars."
My son," said the elder Spriggles
to his junior. thinking to enlighten the boy
on the propagation of the hen species, "do
you know that chickens come out of eggs?"
"Do they ?" said Spriggles, jr., as he
licked his plate, " I thought eggs came
out of chickens.
—A little orphan boy, who was nearly
starved by the stingy uncle (his guardian)
with whom he lived, meeting a lank grey
hound one day in the street, was asked by
his guardian what made the dog so. thin.
After reflection, the little fellow replied.
"I suppose lie lives with his uncle.''
—A little girl, the daughter of a coal
merchant, after attentively listening to an
account given her of hell by her Miller,
who said it was a place where Satan con
tinually roasted sinners, at an immense
fire, exclaimed: "Oh, papa! can't you in
duce him to take coal of you!''
—A young lady advertised for a dress—
ing maid. One applied, and in response
to the inquiry if she was quick, replied.
" Oh, so quick that I will engage to dress
you every day in half an hour." "In
half an lnoir!•' reiterated the young lads.
" and what shall I do the rest of the day?"
" lliram. lioy," said a tender
!Miler to his son. "you must be more
1%1111 of yourself. you have not the con
stitution of some." - Don't you believe
it: I've ! ...ot the ci,nstitution of a hor , e.
Dan,r it. it' I don't believe I've dot iht
constitution of the Vniteil States.-
--- - I was a strain2ser, zund they took me
in," said a wan at one of the police sta
tions. — llow much did !hey take on
in?" asked a bystander. ''MI the lnunu
in my pockets. andall brainsll,r about
ten hours," was the reply.
- `uuu• one wa.: 'elfin: , an Irishman
that someholly hatl eaten ten satnvrs or
IN.-cream. whereupon Pat shook his head.
"So von don't believe it?" IVith a shrewd
nod, Pat answereil--- 1 believe in the
(Tame. but not ill the saucers
nr not guilty?" sharply said
a city judge the other day to an inatten
tive female prisoner in the dock. — Just
as your honor pleases; it's not for the like
o' me to dictate to your honor's worship...
«•as the reply.
—Paddy's description of a fiddle is as
follows: `• It was the shape of a turkey,
anti the size 4)l' a goose: lw turn44l it over
on its back an4l rubbed its belly with a
stick, and och! st. Patrick! how it did
squeal!—
—An editor Iwcame martial and was
created Captain. Instead of two paces
in front-- mlvanced!" 1w unconsciously
bawled out. Cash—two dollars a year—
advance!"
--A teacher was explaining to a little
girl the me:wilt:4 of the word cuticle:
"What is that all over mt fitee and hands?"
"It's freckh s, sir," answered the little
cherub.
—lVhy is the bridegroom. xvortli more
than the !wide ? Because she is ) . iven
away, and lie is sold. What a shorkin_
bad conundrum that is.
—" IVhat are you doing with my mi
croscope, Fred ?" •• been shaving,
Nether, and I want to set) it' there are any
hairs in the hither."
—Whoever saNy the " pale of society "
running over with the " milk of litunan
kindness?" If so. when , was the —cream
of the joke."
--A. marrying man in Brooklyn has
now his fifth wife and live mothers-in-law
in his house. His motto is •• Lct us have
peace."
--A ship load of Indian scalps has ar
rived in Paris. to api)ear on fashimm))le
heads next season.
—A country youth says a lady with a
Grecian bend looks like a crooked neck
squash struck by lightning.
—Why is a fashionable young lady',
brains like a speckled trout ? Because
they are found under a watertitll.
—When may young ladies be said to be
economical? When they resort to tight
lacing to avoid waist-fulness. •
-13righam Young explains his marry
ing so many wives by stating that he does
it to "lead them to eternal salvation."
—We are not worthy of loving the
truth, when we can love anything more
than the truth.