Father Abraham. (Reading, Pa.) 1864-1873, November 20, 1868, Image 4
Notitoglvanich ilcitscll. BREEF }TM SU EFFLEBRENN ER. SI N. Nufignbyr (Ii r ISco:. I ill-TEU FoDDEI: A BRAIIAM Our iterslitit Dininershibig inter acid do! , , is widderamold -,- ;t s ;nor Danksgivito , dog Least. Aceorilito , tsttin seinor left iin gonsa sick kunsidcra fun wea , . , :t der leckshlnt. I lt:r I )auk it in dog, so feel das ielt weas. illsl2:feicrt uf unner-sheedlich. , wea. - it. In de Slat:ill dung the menslily yuslit korta slipeela un Lager !leer sautii. till was so de ralet starlet:ly kiorrielia kit sin, de duna Mt so Ineetinirslialta wasse Got heasa„ Int hind runt (tuna de kit for com mon ;tls Inissla for welsh-liinkle. shan , rhap's, enda un Sci, Dial in (11111:1 Si,' :11S t k r dog slip:Iola suit ats;t hilt lttt, kiirt:t spllecht an nine slarike sautit. _Aker oily lett, int kind, so . wohl das in de Slitedt, ;retina ni (Or latliv gouty nlokingcssann dent ti . ritssa trier-tlipg —alles Was vs gva knnn nuts an Welsh hawna odder eppas das getvacksa is tut nich de tialdera hats flir a Inidilog essa, 1 - 11 wann ich in all mein lealva donkbar , r'reelt halt donn (lii ielt yetz so feela. Ile tact is. de Bevvy meant der fititi‘rneer tr'wery het stilly Ilroeklaniashun yuslit rouse !revva liawptseelilich for 'nick for, denk am ohl dr:txv - for elan yolit Istirick, was war ich? was Itiu ieii yetz,sidder ich ous g'funny hal) ilastle deniokrata chin de watcha sliteala? An true blue limn bin ich, um hal) so reel gedu fir der Crrant tsu leckta (las enricher omierer morn. I"n sell is noel' net ;tiles. \Vait vusht his der Grant is. undonn inslipeet ich gebts dotibicder ) 1:11 ,- (11etstuntinnawnvi I'. \E."- - sell nielint Posht3leashter-- for so dutsanyhowsoh.r Nasby explaina s; , ller, du weaslit, wil skit als for common (tort iii elms fun do kreitz-slitrosa iii halt (tritium inn Kentucky Slitate wit's sheer touter deinokrata hut. De l'oslitolliee is nieranylioNvliTsliproclia, nu 51.11 is genunk thr enricher imam gout tin donkbor inavha. ewer now inns ieli tier (loch :INV slireiva fun weaya elms but unsore Selilitlletowner tleinokrata, (her net reelit in des I)anks giving ni seana kanti. I':s is der awrani alt Joe Schivilltitss. (11.1111(.4 hensa elm atit loafer, ttn a allerleli shleclity nawina,un awer ich kunsiller elm about so groot (las crinklier ()titterer democrat. Si mitts is an orri.: Ikrieltroatydentokratishe mitts-- ao :trout we sellain seine'; si ruck is demokratish, mit ma grOssa 41( . 1110- knithille loch in yeailAin elholtya: si shoe Sill tsu sawya gints ilemiikratish tin ohm cola: si hussy sin tlemokratish, net yuslit on (le k'nee, nil ;met. alt' tit 'cm site. mit nut, mossy ilenti)kratisha pats h ilruft si hens—wanti yr anyhow illicit elms aw hut —geat of course aw mit iler party, nn si hoot till si kop sin litll fun ilenna kleany leweniliche (lennikmt ishe dilienker ll'u chits als so Milner tin cawich kratza macht mit (le linger neayel. Well, doll ,whiter bin ich amohl do shtrose nuf tin we ich (lort out Kitzeliler fer's shtall ferbi , i bill Lib lilt der .Joe scana dorl Itucka ursellain alta board bendy, tin (11)1111 halt ich otwohl tsu chin g'sliwetzt, till halt aw ! , 'Crol:eileber net a Meaner Job shatla wet tin seller treg a paar Ihntks it in shtamps li•rilciata? Donn hetslit elm :over heara solla amohl si (opin ion dent Danksivitt! , (log. Si kli.any specch hut ntich so slitor rickintinyeayeity altv,lcntokratishcdattla (.rinni.rt. (las ieli ili•r se doh Bch wart for wart. s:•eht der .1 kunsider :•••1.11 now ';or Ilk :1i:40'411(11 , , Su alt IS girt 2"(111,111k for so(lilie!D , soi fon sieli maeha mit cheam tier In IVeisli-hawna fressa. no nix moo g,evva. un awer for :.011 not nei. De het kshon suit mich 1 p.sser, for o n lam do , J, kenna Ile kit aw unser cans. ( leekshun dogkricio mer. , ‘itunk tsodrinka, tin sell is iny Oet 10(.1;slom (lo„; heists ;Lis, how-(1i-doo Mister sehwillt'as•-;, flit :mop not Dani<s:.i‘ in. , 41o 2 : heasts eyva als yusitt, tier a xvrant all %lot . un iler all siffer. (kr all loafer un dt all suw! O u t led:slam tltg komma ley _nasty ally dem okratishe freind its tuomiehrom. undoun frohya al s, geats? gnat, awl r tlorslitieb. Killion no nemm .\ II r i g ht . 1 . ) o h, J on , doh is an faallodahlt r, (tit doh, Joe, (lull is an ilabkr for a ;until . beePSl it ilk(' fur !lick un dt ally. Hush( shun g's-ote? tsu der party, for mind, Joe, dohisltt an(lenn)krat.yuslit • exactly we di dalvdy tin di gross-da\v(ly. Kumin Joe, kumin nu nenim noel( elms, for sis my 41reet. Now Joe, gelina merall Ili for de freilleit--demokratish uf course. Shtick I,ti 41;q• 11 tit t• I , W. NN ,111 (111 \ 0'1'1...mu I) (10 , 4? Wu yin tit Wll al:- (li. I , llilc L? (),,ty (h: LI, 1,;.;1 rr (.1,11- 11,0 A my, 1,0.1 . --111..:11.: Lcu 4,1•11cr Itt ilct• r 1;)). t Ir. i halm I;)r 10 a nt it 111.1 - %J: nix. nix mu u-lit 1V:11:11 1111.1 ,Hair 11()It ,lilt dul'HIV. 1111 , ii• 11 t•l' 1:;11\ 41111 1V:1S \Vill. Nit sir-rce. Mi-- dor l'it Schwoillobr) lima. , ocht dor .1)))., \ )1 , 1)1 \vool: alit don) black Itriathlican I )1))“ . i,•1) ‘villanylp)w nixmit tsu 4111 parr a. \Vann alt a‘vor un , .2;) 1) , an vont ivtith 1111 , ht. antut (1)Itt Hi nix drum - - ovva NVill(kr thus nomma, :mt.). twit (1,11) Danl;, ,, ivinv mill kit nix tsti (1)1 Nana fir t s is nix iv:orl. Wo ich dor tilt .1))o liThissa hall hut or fist twit Ist) st hvor. i, atilt lainciple 2 . 0112 - a tins an soliinlv ilontokratishe speech is alsllirt. in ‘lrder, ),‘ Stitt it lt sct pich air shreiva (las )Icr tig,vl:llv)la sold 1))r hoi uns tsti )1)) ! )- cssa tint I )aiths2i (bog, tin mo r litat a‘‘ das (kr I:ununat tut hriii)r)4 vier woivor ntit. Mor lion a welsh-hawna tins ivvor tswati , ich pima \Vccgt . L 44 . 111.111 k ror 11:11141s siell S()I. tSII PIT ScIINV EVVI,EItItENNEtt. 1)f Rejoicings at the Home of our President Elect —The GeneraJ Visited by his Fellow- Citizens—His Response to their Hearty Greetings. Wednesday, Noy. 4 —1:! Mid night.—This has been the proudt st even iug all the history of Galena. The city, lwretothre Democratic, yesterday gave a majority fin• lifr distinguished citizen, Gen. S. Grant, for President of the United States. The county gives him a larger majority by four hundred than it gave to Mr. Liitcoln in ISti4. This magnificent result, together with the triumphant elec tion of ( hffleral (haunt, was celebrated here this evening by it grand torfidight proces sion, bonfires, illtuninations, and other demonstrations of joy. The Galena Tan ners, with two bands of music and It pro cession of' citizens numbering several thou sand, marchefl to the residence of General ( ;rant, infront of which a splendid display of fireworks was sent up, after which three rousing cheers were giVetl for the President elect. In response to repeated calls, the tiuneral stepped out upon the piazza and ' addressed the multitude as Billows : Frivads foul hi //ofv- , iti.f.(ns ff . f Gok int : thank you for this cordial mark Of your kindness. Suflivient, I suppose, has now Ifeen heard of the result of the late elec tion to show upon whom it has fallen to administer the affairs of the nation fir the next tbur years. I sUppose it is nn ego tism in me to say that the, choice has fallen on Ille. The respollsihithies or the posi tion I feel. but accept them without fear, if 1 can have the 5111111' St1111)011 which hats been given to t u t' thus l'ar. 1 thank you an d all others who have t . ))ll.!'"ht together in this contest a c o ntest in \\lch you are all interested' personally as much as, and perhaps more, than I am. I now take occasion to hid you good hye, as I leave here to-lninToW lift. \Vashingtoll, and shall probably see but few of you again thr seine years to come. although it would give me a great pleasure to make an annual pil grimage of a place \Otero I have enjoyed myself' so much as I have hel'e(1111'ill:r the past ren - Months. At the conclusion of this first speech of tlw President elect. the crowd gave nine deafening cheers for General Grant, after which they proceeded to the residence of Hon. E. B. 11'ashlturn who has just been re-elected to Coterress. Ilfr his ninth term, by an overwhellnin= nfaioritY. After three rousing cheers were given for .Mr. Wash burne, he was loudly called thr, and re sponded by tendering, h is Ilea rt felt and grate ful thanks to his old neighbors and friends for the miwniticent demonstration before him. and for the opportunity of foinglinr his con! , ratulations with theirs at the splendid victory which had yesterday lxqlo, achieved by the loyal people of the coun try. Ile extended his heartfigt thanks to his constituents. neighbors and friends who htd nine times supported him for Cfnefress Nvith a devotion. zeal and unan imity which aroused emotions of his heart (Odell no langutoz,e could express.. Tilt. denwnstratithu of the evening was the grandest ever lVilllcssod ill Galena. CENTENARIAN LED TO THE POLLS BY A WOMAN. The Dav e nport ( 17if://t( tells this story: Great enthusiasm was created at th ctiport tolvtiship pills, on the thin Nov e i l iher :;1, hy a spectacle \\Adult \Vold(' il:lVi• I)I.)otl of eyt rt t rae .\ 1111'Hr:ill in the hind. 10W-scatted buggy ryas 411'IN:•11111) tulhe ptdls Ily yOllllg 111 V. By her Sid(' IV:Is sCatell litther of E. S. I;ilhert, after whom (iilli,Tto 11::111ed. is IIIM:1111S of Olio years or age. Ile c.ist his first vote in 17SS, in tit , Stati. of Nicsv lurk, 14 George \Vr,sliinrtiin, and has voted every Presi dent elet•tiuu sine,. that year. Miss Volutes assisted the (.eittenariati awl patriot Ili alight, placing her arm in his. aeeonipanii.ii hint to the Itoll Ile an open. straivitt Ilepublican ticket th.. juil ! res. As he did so the hyst:m.- ilcrs hriike into cheers. which (lid lint cease until three times three had heel' !zivelt for Ilse 11epuldiean. follmved throe more for the young laily who had accom panied him. '1'1“ , citizens present gathered allow. the uipill 4,1,1 man, :mil as they (lid so he Said: 'qietllll.llleil. l VOttql I \vire 14 iyorge ‘v a ,1 1 1 11: 4.: 11 . lie NV:IS the hest man iiir the 1)1., Sidon in his (lay. Nmv hate voted lia. Getwral (.rant--thank (;(ill that 1 have lived so 1011:r --WilOnt 1111i , Vt. to he the host man tin. lircsident iu this (lay. lle \vas instrumental in saying this govcriiint.nt which Washing . • ton 1' W Kvry-oN F. days' hard labor was the sentence of an English laborer who pulled a carrot from a field to eat when he was lIIIII'V cs'Ct(l. GENERAL GRANT. HON. EDWARD M'PHERSON, Clerk of the C►dted States house of Representatives. NASBY. Presidential Eleetion—The News Reaches Kentucky—The X Roads in Mourning. POST OEMs, CONFEDIUT X ROADS (Wich is in the State uv Kentucky.) N()v. 5, I.so. Bad news travels fast. We hey heerd from motif of the States to know that till' butcher Grant—he wick wunst atbre stood in 11m way of the Confederacy—her been elected Pr4.si dent, and that Seymour and Blare, our glori ous standard bearers, hey been deb ated ignominiously. 'lids ends it! This finishes it! There is no longer hope for Dimocrisy. Our star is sot in gloom. Never steel I forgit the ghastly appearance of Deekin Pogrom's taco, e 7, the fatal nooze was told him. A single tear rolled from his left eye, down his furrowed cheek—it glittered for a brief moment on the tip uv his brillyant nose, and plunged oll• into space! How like our hopes! Never a word sed he, but sadly beckoned me to fuller. Sadly he walked to the square, nniurnlnlly he pulled down the Confederit flag which hez waved from the pole in front of Bascom's, tenderly he folded it, and placed it limier the barl uv whisky in the ba•. " Thar let it rest," gasped he in a husky tone, "it will never kiss the breezes no more." And over come with emoshun, the good old man bursted into a flood uv teers, with saved his life. The drain uv moisture from his system made it necessary for him to take suthin to fill its place, and that sutLia wuz strength min. To save him I took sothin strength enin too. And Ben Butler is elected. That excel lent convcrvative Richard 11. Dana, who Las forgotten that ruffled shirts went out of date 20 yeers ago, and who still reads the 1Vit.414- n,el Intelligeneer sposin it to be a Whig paper, is defeated, aml Butler, who wunst hung a Demokrat in Noo Orleens, and who wood do that same every miirnin to give Lint all appetite, is fastened onto this here wunst happy but now distracted county fur two yeers more. Grashus 11evins send the yaller fever b) the Corners now, and finish us up to wunst. I won't say a word ez to the cause uv this terrible defeat. Seymour would make speeches, with hez alluz bin fatle to Presi denshul aspirants, and Blare would write terrible letters, wich is just ez bad. Besides, Blare fairly represents us, wich drily off all decent people, and Seymour rather prides hisself on bein a gentleman, wich chilled the ardor of our own patty. The nomina shells were untbrchnit, but don't reproah 'cm. It's fate. I sigh, Deekin Pogram sighs, and the rest of our cirldc wood sigh, only they heven't returned from Injeany, where they hey gone to vote in the interest of the Constitooshen, and to aid in the maintainanee ny the laws. sigh! I hey reason to sigh. For Pollock will git the Post OEN after all. Tho his hands are contaminated by bein taken into the bands uv niggers—his hands wieh handles hanker and draws molasses, and is consequently degraded by earnin his own livin—his hands will pass out to Deekin Pogrant the paper whit the Corners takes! The Deekin, ez he thought uv this, bust into leers agin. "I she] stop that riper," sez he, "and the Corners stud go hack into the darknis uv ignorance. I slid never agin go tin• a letter—nor will I ever hey one written liu• Inc to anybody. When a Ablishn fac.. is at the general delivery, I shot stop pater nizin the Post 011 is!" Will the now Adminislration deprive a whole community tw ft paper inertly to give one uv its supporters a posislum? We steel Ilut , I cookl entl(mr the loss of lily posishen —for prinsiple I kin look inatertlom squarely ill the face—hut I see other and more terri ble results Ibllowin this, catastrophe. \Vat uv the niggers? \Vat uv us? e steel hey at our poles, all OW the black cusses who live between here and Garrett stow'', a votin ez regler ez though they white men. We suet hey cm detilin the sacred ballot-box ez Ow they WU% not uv a cussed race. I see dark lines atitre our poor State. They will hereafter hold the land wick they hey bought, and they will increase and multiply. Pollock will buy their prodoose and they will work and get money. This money they will lend to us—for we must hey it to sustain lite— and they will take mortgages onto our land. ( When I say 0 r, I mean Deekin Pograin and skit.) Ez we never work ourselves, and will not hey, under the present arrange ment, the means uv et unpellin the labor necessary to our support, we kin never pay; and the result will be, this beautiful land uv ()urn, wich we so deerly love, will pass out try the hands uy the stronger and better race into the control uv a weaker and less power ful people. The Deekin was remarkin suthin tti this effect, when .toe Bigler miliaria in reply, that the Deekin bed better throw himself onto the sympathy of his sons. a. Why, they can't work any more than I kin," sed the Deekin. '• I don't mean your poor white sons !" sed this terrible Bigler. Thaw ain't uy 110 iikkolllll. But in the nigger settlement at ;arrettst own, you hey more than twenty who wood—" The poor Deekin rushed out ov the room, while Bigler loft his most feendish latt The people will be deprived uv their inno cent amoosements. l'his Grant will send on armed hirelins, clothed in ojus 11100, With muskets and Bich, who will prevent our shootin niggers, and who will pertect on titer farms and in ther shops the ojus Notherners Who have settled in our midst. We slid see the gellorious Southern system decline shrilly and shoofly. The whippin posts will rot, and the stox will decay—the yelp uv dor!.fs \vill no more be heerd, and the cheer ful crack tiv the pistol and the shreek uv the man what has got his gruel, will no more be beerd in all the land. Bascom, after he 11Cz the fi'w Nrms still unmortgaged in the visin it y, will close and go to Looisville, and em hark into a wholesale grocery trade and jine the church, and give li brolly to tinnily skools; his groscry will full into decay, and the sine will hang by one hinge. We shel see churches and shoolhouses, factrys and villages everywhere. The Popgram place uv 2,000 akers will be divided up into twenty frms, and on them farms will be the bustlin Nio Yorker, the cool, calculatin Yankee, the stiddy, hard-workin German—who will display his grovelin nacher by workin him self, inst id of forcin niggers to do it for him. We shel he run over with skoolmarms, del uged with academies, plastered over with noosepapers, stunned with machinery, drove crazy by the whirr, crash and clash uv mow in machines and reapers. And there will be cheese made at the Corners. Pennibacker's distillery will be turned into a cheese factry, and weak whey will run wher now the genrous high wines flash along the troughs. Titer will be no rectifyin at the Corners— the hog pens will be abolished, and in titer stet will lie skool houses. And methinks I see in my mind's eye, Horasho, the sperit, lite ghost tiv the departed Pogram, (for he wont survive it long,) a hoverin over the scene, ez llamlick's hither did. The blessid shade will look in vain tOr his house—on the spot w her it stood will be an academy. He will turn to Bascom's, but titer he will find a deestrick skule. "To Pennibackers!" he will gasp in a sperit whisper, and with a speritooal smack uv his speritooal lips lie will hover over it, but the smell UV cheese in the place uv the strengthin odors in which lie delites, will send a speritooal shudder thro him. A gost uv a tear will run down his speritooal nose, linger for a minnit at the tip like a dew drop on the rose, and fall ! Then will the dissatisfied gost demand to be taken back to purgatory, a place less tryin to his nerves. Deckin Popgram llcz only britont'd up wunst. thot flashed over his mind wielt gave him eaufort fin• a minnit. "Isn't titer a Booth for Grant ez ther WU. for Lipkin ? " askt he. " Ali !" sed I in alarm, " wood you kill Grant to hey Colfax in his place ? We mite kill Colfax, say you. Alars ! sposn they'd elect Sunnier cr. President uv the Senit. Kill Sumner ? Good Lord, no ! They'd then elect Butler Speaker uv the House, and he can't be killed. No ! No ! We lied better bear the ills we hey, than to fly to them we know not uv. Its gone. All is up with me and us. I shel stay in Kentucky fir the present, tho wat may become uv me the Lord only knows. PETROLEUM V. NASBY, P. M., is Postmaster.) THE DUTCH JUDGE'S DECISION. Here is a decision by a learned Dutch judge : Mistier Foreman and toiler jurymans— Der brisoner, Vleekter, vinished his game mit der sheriff, and has peat him, but I shall Baku care he don't peat me. Hans has been dried for murder pefore you, and you must pring in der verdick, but it must pe cordin to der law. De man he kilt wasn't kilt at all, as it was broved he is in der jail at Morrisdown for sheep sdealing. Put dat ish no madder. Der law says ven dc•re ish a ton't you give um to der brisoner, put here ish no ton't—so you see der brisoner ish Pesides, he is a great loafer. I haf hnowd him %illy year, and he hasn't tone a stlitch of work in all dat dimes, and dere is no one dettendin on him for der livin, and Le ish no use to nopoty. I clink it would lc Boot blans to hang him for de examble. I dirk, Mr. Voretuans, dat he peller pet next fouri of July, as tier militia ish going to drain in anoder county and der would be no vtut goin on here. A NtAN coming home late one night, a little more than "half seas over," feeling thirsty procured a glass of water and drank it. In doing so he swallowed a small ball of silk that lay in the bottom of the tumbler, the end catching in his teeth. Feeling some thing in his mouth. and not knowing what it was, he began pulling at the end, and the little ball unrolling. he soon had several feet in his hands, ant! still no end apparently. Terrified, he shouted of the top of his voice, "Wife ! wife ! I say, wife, come here ! lam all unraveling !" A waggish journalist Willi is often merry over his personal plainness, tells this story of himself: " I went to a chemist the other day for a et ;se or morphine lin• a sick friend. The assistant objected to give it to me With out a prescription, evidently fearing that I intended suicide. " Pshaw!" said I, "do I look like a man who would kill himself?" Gazing steadily at me a moment, he replied, " I don't know. It seems to me it I looked like you I should be tempted to kill myself." LEADING 31ECIIINICS. I'S M . inn • liVeS frMii \( to volt." are useful only as we apply tlicin for the instructilak, and ,guidance of others, and the lives most useful to our people . ar r nut from the highest wall:s : not f non the raitl:s of wealth. or among; the len(lors of parties or of anoi,s. Nl', would not disparage the position of one. or the glo ries of th, , outer, hot men err in holding: up to the youth of our country the eN;l111- Pie of any of the classes especially, Thy glory ana strength of our country comes not front the marts of trade-- :it:boils of enterprise though these are- 1144 1 . 1•1• Ill flue 10111111 NVilyre keen display of intellectual warfare charm the listening crowd; not front the battle-field where Olen :ire made and marred, but in the workshops and :it the ftrge ; in the mine, and itt the here men are found to build up and sustain the power of the Sign , (Mc has said "muscle and brain" will carry - the (lay, and experience has proven that lute is of no value without the other. The schoo l that op!rh,ts the training and developing* the powers of the body at the same time that the plovers of the min(' are thing di rected, can be of little value•to Antericans. The man must be armed at all points NVIIO would succeed in this world of strife, for the prizes of life. 1 inhecility has no chance although boasting a pedigree as long as the patience of Deity—and that is quite long enough, as most potpie will acknowl edge. The men who have occupied the first place ill the minds of all reasonable men, are iis(f/t/ men like the practical prin ter, ; philanthropists like the iu doutitable worker, Peter ( 'ooper, who great charities, and like his prede cessor, Ben. Franklin, enunciates pure Bepublican doctrine. Let no young man laboring at his trade feel discouraged because otitis slow a(lvance to Wealth :Ind position in society. No real prosperity eomes by rapid growth. (Mr great men have devel(tped Washington and I;rant are Ehir examples of this—each did the Work immediately bethre hint, and trusted in Providence and his own correct habits. The road to dis tinction is o p en to all who have will :111(1 patience. A PRISONER FOR FIFTY YEARS. M. Andreoli, a Russian writer, who was exiled some years ago to Siberia, is now con tributing to the Revue Muderne, under the title of "Sovenire de Siberie," his recollec tions not only of Siberian but also of Russian life. In the last number of the Revue lie tells a story, the end of which belongs to the present reign, the beginning to the reign of Paul, of whose period it is strikingly charac teristic: "The Emperor's favorite was at that time a young French actress, of whom he was madly jealous. One evening, at a ball, he noticed that a young man named Labanoff was paying her a great deal of attention. Ile did not lose his temper, but at the end of the ball gave orders that Lab:moll should be arrested and thrown into the citadel. He only intended to keep him there a few days, "to make him more serious," after which Le proposed to reprimand lihn, and then to appoint him to an Alec which had been so licited for him. LabanolT, however, was forgotten. " At the death of Nicholas, Alexander 11., then full of magnanimity, liberated all the prisoners in the citadel, without exception. In a vaulted tomb, in which it was imposi ble to stand upright, and which was not more than two yards long, an old man was found, almost bent double, and incapable of answering when he was spoken to. This was Labanotl: The Emperor Paul had been succeeded by the Emperor Alexander 1., and afterwards by the Emperor Nicholas: he had been in the dungeon more than fifty years. " When he was taken out he could not bear the light, and, by a strange phenome non, his movements had become automatic. Ile could hardly hold himself up, and he had become so accustomed to move about within the limits of his narrow cell that he could not take more than two steps forwards with out turning round, as though lie had struck against a wall, and taking two steps back wards, and so on alternately. lie lived for only a week after his liberation." NOT TO BE OUTDONE. One of the zealous chaplains of the Army of the Potomac, called on a colonel noted for his profanity, in order to talk about the religious interests of his men. He was po litely received, and motioned to a seat on a chest, when the following dialogue ensued : Chaplain—Colonel, you have one of the finest regiments in the army. believu so. Chaplain—Do you think you pay sufficient attention to the religious instruction of your num ? Colonel (doubtfully)—\V ell, I don't know, Chaplain—:l lively inter( st has been awakened in the —th Massachusetts (a revival regiment.) The Lord has blessed the labors of his servants, and ten have already been baptised. Col,mel (excitedly)—ls that so? (To the attendant)—Sergeant major, have fifteen men detailed i:nnu for baptism. I won't be outdone by any Mas-achusetts regi ment. RULES TO REGULATE OURCosnUC•r: A man should be wise in dispute; a lion in the battle and conflict; a teacher in the house hold; a councillor in the nation; an arbitra tor in his vicinity; conscientious in action; content with his state; regular in his habits; diligent in his calling; faithful in his friend ship; temperate in his pleasure; deliberate in his speech; devoted to his (hid. So he will be happy in his life, easy in death, an esteemed example to his successors. Thu :Hartford Courant says there are more deacons in• Wethersfield Ginn in any other place in Connecticut. The other day a well known deacon went to the steamboat Wharf to see a friend Off, and as the boat started the friend said, , •Good-bye, deacon," whereupon twelve men who stood upon the wharf, im mediately tipped their hats, and responded, "Good-bye, sir." 1.1vE1:1" column of a newspaper contains I'l%ml ten to twenty thousand distinct pieces of metal, the displaccnu•nt of a single one or which would cause a Wunder or a typo graphical error. With this curious Net stat ed, is it not a wonder that newspapers are so generally accurate ? A. coNsTAiILE in Kentucky, in lathHsiang some personal property for sale, put up a notice with the following clause: " I wyll xpose for sail the s(la eighteen hundred and sixty-six of Jan wun lytle roue loss ill. eo much Marof as nia be necessary to satislised gugmeut." Our T.dittic DI 10; F. Two inoro Weary of breath, Rashly importunate, limit. to their death! Mile them up tenderly, Lift them with care, II a mile them gingerly, ti ,, sinotir and Blair —Men 4 who take coliiders antl julcps. a ihe. 2 ; neeessaiily funny because his tail is a \V --The limn who leallif.re(l his nc=t is sap posed In have Lee n a dealer in poultry. —The man ho minds his business Wai in Ibis town a few (lays ago, but kit lie felt so Ion( some. —Do unto other num as they would like to do unto nn, find yon won't havo enough in two NV eekS to get it shirt washed. --An twin( int painter, on being asked what he mixed his colors with to give so fine an clit.ct, answcrud, -"I mix Dicta With brains, sir." —A man out 'West, NV 110 olfered Lail for ft friend, was asked by the Judge if he had any encumbrance on his farm. "Oh yes," said In', "my old woman.'' —lf a man is without enemies we wouldn't give ten cents for all his friends. The man 0 can 111C:i SC everybody hasn't got sense enough to displease anybody. —A highly educated constable somewhere in the Northwest exposes Mr sale a r ,, ;111 horse, "or so mutch thereof as ma bee hes sary" to satisfy the judgment. —Some one asks very innocently if it is any harm to sit in the lapse of ages. It de pends on the kind of ages selected. Those from 17 to 25 arc extra hazardous. —My first is what lies at the door; my second is a kind of corn ; my third is what nobody can 410 without, and my whole is one of the United States. Mat-ri-mony. —"What is your notion of the true phy sician ?" asked a medical professor of a Ft 'l deal, to which the latter replied : "Ile is an unti)rtunate gentleman who is every day called upon to perform the miracle of re conciling health with intemperance." —" Well," said a carpent4.4r, "of all the saws I ever saw, I never saw a saw saw as that saw saws." 110 probably is a cousin 14) the man who knows his nose ; I know lie knows his nose ; he said he knew his nose ; and it' he said I knew he knew his nose, of course he knows I know he knows his nose." —A farmer wrote as follows to a distio guished scientific agriculturist, to whom he felt under obligations for introducing a va riety of swine : " Respected Sir—l went yesterday to the cattle show. I found sev eral pigs of your species. There was a great variety of hogs, and I was astonished at not seeing you there." —A. southern paper advertises as follows : "Wanted, at this °dice, an able-bodied, hard featured, bad tempered, not to be put ottand not to be backed down, freckled-face young man to collect fin. this paper ; must furnish his Own horse, saddle-bags, pistols, whisky, bowie-knife and cowhide. 'We will furnish the accounts. To such we promise constant and laborious employment." —" Do let me have your photograph," said at dashing belle to a gentleman who had been annoying her with his :Mentions. The gentleman was delighted, and in a short time the lady received the piet um She gave it to the servant with the nut stion, `• would you know the original it' he should call ?" The servant replied in the affirmative. " Well, whenever he comes lull him I am engaged.'' Billingti itreSS( . •A Olt yic~ysmt tint subject or autographs precisely. lie thus replies to an anxious corre,pood t ni who asked for his autograph : '• We m7ver fur nish ortograffs in less quantities than by the pagis. It is a bizness that great men have got into, but it don't strike its az being pro- Malik nor amusing. \%e furnished a near, a very dear friend, our ortogratf, a few days ago, for 90 days. and it kost me * - 275 hew get it back. We went, nut of the him ss then, and have not hankered for it rinse." —A southern exchange says : An old de formed negro woman was passing along the street, when a fashionable miss, troubled considerably with the '• (recd n bend," turned around and looked after the poor old negro woman, and was radii r disposed to make fun of her deformity. The old negro woman stopped and looked at her a tainute or two, and very truthfully remarked : miss, you needn't he pokin' fun at me, kale de Lor a'mighty knows you's a bigger cu riosity tolook at clan 1 is." The young lady "humped" herself. A " ri,Ay EP-411"1" POUT I( lAN. Liferiutfly +ol9.litifid, there e e(,tal en, y-- Mt' (!fle)4! wet:: ji ftti . du qiiiec, woe iwthiii! I 1' j;,t( lother party—thl.'s ''i.' , / I'll llci'