Father Abraham. (Reading, Pa.) 1864-1873, November 20, 1868, Image 4

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    Notitoglvanich ilcitscll.
Nufignbyr (Ii r ISco:. I
Our iterslitit Dininershibig inter acid
do! , , is widderamold -,- ;t s ;nor Danksgivito ,
dog Least. Aceorilito , tsttin
seinor left iin
gonsa sick kunsidcra fun
wea , . , :t der leckshlnt. I lt:r I )auk it in
dog, so feel das ielt weas. illsl2:feicrt
uf unner-sheedlich. , wea. - it. In de Slat:ill
dung the menslily yuslit korta slipeela un
Lager !leer sautii. till was so de ralet
starlet:ly kiorrielia kit sin, de duna
Mt so Ineetinirslialta wasse Got
heasa„ Int hind runt (tuna de kit for com
mon ;tls Inissla for welsh-liinkle.
shan , rhap's, enda un Sci, Dial in
(11111:1 Si,' :11S t k r dog slip:Iola suit
ats;t hilt lttt, kiirt:t spllecht an nine
slarike sautit. _Aker oily lett, int kind, so
. wohl das in de Slitedt, ;retina ni (Or latliv
gouty nlokingcssann dent ti . ritssa trier-tlipg
—alles Was vs gva knnn nuts an Welsh
hawna odder eppas das getvacksa is tut
nich de tialdera hats flir a Inidilog essa,
1 - 11 wann ich in all mein lealva donkbar
, r'reelt halt donn (lii ielt yetz so feela. Ile
tact is. de Bevvy meant der fititi‘rneer
tr'wery het stilly Ilroeklaniashun yuslit
rouse !revva liawptseelilich for 'nick for,
denk am ohl dr:txv - for elan yolit Istirick,
was war ich? was Itiu ieii yetz,sidder
ich ous g'funny hal) ilastle deniokrata chin
de watcha sliteala? An true blue
limn bin ich, um hal) so reel gedu fir der
Crrant tsu leckta (las enricher omierer
morn. I"n sell is noel' net ;tiles. \Vait
vusht his der Grant is. undonn
inslipeet ich gebts dotibicder ) 1:11 ,-
(11etstuntinnawnvi I'. \E."- - sell nielint
Posht3leashter-- for so dutsanyhowsoh.r
Nasby explaina s; , ller, du weaslit, wil
skit als for common (tort iii elms fun do
kreitz-slitrosa iii halt (tritium inn Kentucky
Slitate wit's sheer touter deinokrata hut.
De l'oslitolliee is nieranylioNvliTsliproclia,
nu 51.11 is genunk thr enricher imam gout
tin donkbor inavha.
ewer now inns ieli tier (loch :INV slireiva
fun weaya elms but unsore Selilitlletowner
tleinokrata, (her net reelit in des I)anks
giving ni seana kanti. I':s is der awrani
alt Joe Schivilltitss. (11.1111(.4 hensa elm
atit loafer, ttn a allerleli shleclity
nawina,un awer ich kunsiller elm about so
groot (las crinklier ()titterer democrat. Si
mitts is an orri.: Ikrieltroatydentokratishe
mitts-- ao :trout we sellain seine'; si
ruck is demokratish, mit ma grOssa 41( . 1110-
knithille loch in yeailAin elholtya: si shoe
Sill tsu sawya gints ilemiikratish tin ohm
cola: si hussy sin tlemokratish, net yuslit
on (le k'nee, nil ;met. alt' tit 'cm site. mit
nut, mossy ilenti)kratisha pats h ilruft si
hens—wanti yr anyhow illicit elms aw hut
—geat of course aw mit iler party, nn si
hoot till si kop sin litll fun ilenna kleany
leweniliche (lennikmt ishe dilienker ll'u chits
als so Milner tin cawich kratza macht mit
(le linger neayel.
Well, doll ,whiter bin ich amohl do
shtrose nuf tin we ich (lort out Kitzeliler
fer's shtall ferbi , i bill Lib lilt der .Joe scana
dorl Itucka ursellain alta board bendy, tin
(11)1111 halt ich otwohl tsu chin g'sliwetzt,
till halt aw ! , 'Crol:eileber net a Meaner
Job shatla wet tin seller treg a paar
Ihntks it in shtamps li•rilciata? Donn
hetslit elm :over heara solla amohl si (opin
ion dent Danksivitt! ,
(log. Si kli.any specch hut ntich so slitor
rickintinyeayeity altv,lcntokratishcdattla
(.rinni.rt. (las ieli ili•r se doh Bch wart for
s:•eht der .1
kunsider :•••1.11 now ';or Ilk :1i:40'411(11 , , Su
alt IS girt 2"(111,111k for so(lilie!D ,
soi fon sieli maeha mit cheam tier In
IVeisli-hawna fressa. no nix moo
g,evva. un awer for :.011 not nei.
De het kshon suit mich 1 p.sser, for o n
lam do , J, kenna Ile kit aw unser cans. (
leekshun dogkricio mer. , ‘itunk tsodrinka,
tin sell is iny Oet 10(.1;slom (lo„;
heists ;Lis, how-(1i-doo Mister sehwillt'as•-;,
flit :mop not Dani<s:.i‘ in. , 41o 2 : heasts eyva
als yusitt, tier a xvrant all %lot . un iler all
siffer. (kr all loafer un dt all suw! O u t
led:slam tltg komma ley _nasty ally dem
okratishe freind its tuomiehrom. undoun
frohya al s, geats? gnat, awl r
tlorslitieb. Killion no nemm .\ II
r i g ht . 1 . ) o h, J on , doh is an faallodahlt r,
(tit doh, Joe, (lull is an ilabkr for a ;until .
beePSl it ilk(' fur !lick un dt ally. Hush(
shun g's-ote? tsu der party,
for mind, Joe, dohisltt an(lenn)krat.yuslit •
exactly we di dalvdy tin di gross-da\v(ly.
Kumin Joe, kumin nu nenim noel( elms,
for sis my 41reet. Now Joe, gelina merall
Ili for de freilleit--demokratish uf course.
Shtick I,ti 41;q• 11 tit t•
I , W. NN ,111 (111 \ 0'1'1...mu I)
(10 , 4? Wu yin tit Wll al:- (li. I , llilc L? (),,ty
(h: LI, 1,;.;1 rr (.1,11-
11,0 A my, 1,0.1 . --111..:11.: Lcu
4,1•11cr Itt ilct• r 1;)). t
Ir. i halm I;)r 10 a nt it 111.1 - %J:
nix. nix mu
u-lit 1V:11:11 1111.1 ,Hair 11()It
,lilt dul'HIV. 1111 , ii• 11 t•l' 1:;11\
41111 1V:1S \Vill. Nit sir-rce. Mi--
dor l'it Schwoillobr) lima. , ocht dor .1))).,
\ )1 , 1)1 \vool: alit don) black Itriathlican
I )1))“ . i,•1) ‘villanylp)w nixmit
tsu 4111 parr a. \Vann alt a‘vor un , .2;)
1) , an vont ivtith 1111 , ht. antut (1)Itt Hi nix
drum - - ovva NVill(kr thus nomma,
:mt.). twit (1,11) Danl;, ,, ivinv mill kit nix
tsti (1)1 Nana fir t s is nix iv:orl.
Wo ich dor tilt .1))o liThissa hall hut or
fist twit Ist) st hvor.
i, atilt lainciple 2 . 0112 - a tins an soliinlv
ilontokratishe speech is alsllirt. in ‘lrder,
),‘ Stitt it lt sct pich air shreiva
(las )Icr tig,vl:llv)la sold 1))r hoi uns tsti
)1)) ! )- cssa tint I )aiths2i (bog, tin mo r
litat a‘‘ das (kr I:ununat tut hriii)r)4 vier
woivor ntit. Mor lion a welsh-hawna tins
ivvor tswati , ich pima \Vccgt
. L 44 . 111.111 k
ror 11:11141s siell S()I. tSII
Rejoicings at the Home of our President
Elect —The GeneraJ Visited by his Fellow-
Citizens—His Response to their Hearty
Wednesday, Noy. 4 —1:! Mid
night.—This has been the proudt st even
iug all the history of Galena. The city,
lwretothre Democratic, yesterday gave a
majority fin• lifr distinguished citizen, Gen.
S. Grant, for President of the United
States. The county gives him a larger
majority by four hundred than it gave to
Mr. Liitcoln in ISti4. This magnificent
result, together with the triumphant elec
tion of ( hffleral (haunt, was celebrated here
this evening by it grand torfidight proces
sion, bonfires, illtuninations, and other
demonstrations of joy. The Galena Tan
ners, with two bands of music and It pro
cession of' citizens numbering several thou
sand, marchefl to the residence of General
( ;rant, infront of which a splendid display
of fireworks was sent up, after which three
rousing cheers were giVetl for the President
elect. In response to repeated calls, the
tiuneral stepped out upon the piazza and
' addressed the multitude as Billows :
Frivads foul hi //ofv- , iti.f.(ns ff . f Gok int :
thank you for this cordial mark Of your
kindness. Suflivient, I suppose, has now
Ifeen heard of the result of the late elec
tion to show upon whom it has fallen to
administer the affairs of the nation fir the
next tbur years. I sUppose it is nn
tism in me to say that the, choice has fallen
on Ille. The respollsihithies or the posi
tion I feel. but accept them without fear,
if 1 can have the 5111111' St1111)011 which hats
been given to t u t' thus l'ar. 1 thank you
an d all others who have t . ))ll.!'"ht together
in this contest a c o ntest in \\lch you
are all interested' personally as much as,
and perhaps more, than I am. I now take
occasion to hid you good hye, as I leave
here to-lninToW lift. \Vashingtoll, and shall
probably see but few of you again thr seine
years to come. although it would give me
a great pleasure to make an annual pil
grimage of a place \Otero I have enjoyed
myself' so much as I have hel'e(1111'ill:r the
past ren - Months.
At the conclusion of this first speech of
tlw President elect. the crowd gave nine
deafening cheers for General Grant, after
which they proceeded to the residence of
Hon. E. B. 11'ashlturn who has just been
re-elected to Coterress. Ilfr his ninth term,
by an overwhellnin= nfaioritY. After three
rousing cheers were given for .Mr. Wash
burne, he was loudly called thr, and re
sponded by tendering, h is Ilea rt felt and grate
ful thanks to his old neighbors and friends
for the miwniticent demonstration before
him. and for the opportunity of foinglinr
his con! , ratulations with theirs at the
splendid victory which had yesterday lxqlo,
achieved by the loyal people of the coun
try. Ile extended his heartfigt thanks to
his constituents. neighbors and friends
who htd nine times supported him for
Cfnefress Nvith a devotion. zeal and unan
imity which aroused emotions of his heart
(Odell no langutoz,e could express.. Tilt.
denwnstratithu of the evening was the
grandest ever lVilllcssod ill Galena.
The Dav e nport ( 17if://t( tells this
story: Great enthusiasm was created at
th ctiport tolvtiship pills, on the thin
Nov e i l iher :;1, hy a spectacle
\\Adult \Vold(' il:lVi•
I)I.)otl of eyt rt t rae .\ 1111'Hr:ill in the hind.
10W-scatted buggy ryas
411'IN:•11111) tulhe ptdls Ily yOllllg
111 V. By her Sid(' IV:Is sCatell
litther of E. S. I;ilhert, after whom
(iilli,Tto 11::111ed.
is IIIM:1111S of Olio years or age.
Ile c.ist his first vote in 17SS,
in tit , Stati. of Nicsv lurk, 14 George
\Vr,sliinrtiin, and has voted every Presi
dent elet•tiuu sine,. that year.
Miss Volutes assisted the (.eittenariati
awl patriot Ili alight, placing her arm
in his. aeeonipanii.ii hint to the Itoll Ile
an open. straivitt Ilepublican ticket
th.. juil ! res. As he did so the hyst:m.-
ilcrs hriike into cheers. which (lid lint cease
until three times three had heel' !zivelt for
Ilse 11epuldiean. follmved throe
more for the young laily who had accom
panied him. '1'1“ , citizens present gathered
allow. the uipill 4,1,1 man, :mil as they (lid
so he Said: 'qietllll.llleil. l VOttql I \vire 14
iyorge ‘v a ,1 1 1 11: 4.: 11 . lie NV:IS the hest
man iiir the 1)1., Sidon in his (lay. Nmv
hate voted lia. Getwral (.rant--thank
(;(ill that 1 have lived so 1011:r --WilOnt
1111i , Vt. to he the host man tin. lircsident
iu this (lay. lle \vas instrumental in
saying this govcriiint.nt which Washing
• ton
1' W Kvry-oN F. days' hard labor was the
sentence of an English laborer who pulled
a carrot from a field to eat when he was
Clerk of the C►dted States house of Representatives.
Presidential Eleetion—The News Reaches
Kentucky—The X Roads in Mourning.
is in the State uv Kentucky.) N()v. 5, I.so.
Bad news travels fast. We hey heerd from
motif of the States to know that till' butcher
Grant—he wick wunst atbre stood in 11m way
of the Confederacy—her been elected Pr4.si
dent, and that Seymour and Blare, our glori
ous standard bearers, hey been deb ated
'lids ends it! This finishes it! There is no
longer hope for Dimocrisy. Our star is sot
in gloom. Never steel I forgit the ghastly
appearance of Deekin Pogrom's taco, e 7, the
fatal nooze was told him. A single tear
rolled from his left eye, down his furrowed
cheek—it glittered for a brief moment on the
tip uv his brillyant nose, and plunged oll• into
space! How like our hopes! Never a word
sed he, but sadly beckoned me to fuller.
Sadly he walked to the square, nniurnlnlly
he pulled down the Confederit flag which hez
waved from the pole in front of Bascom's,
tenderly he folded it, and placed it limier the
barl uv whisky in the ba•. " Thar let it
rest," gasped he in a husky tone, "it will
never kiss the breezes no more." And over
come with emoshun, the good old man
bursted into a flood uv teers, with saved his
life. The drain uv moisture from his system
made it necessary for him to take suthin to
fill its place, and that sutLia wuz strength
min. To save him I took sothin strength
enin too.
And Ben Butler is elected. That excel
lent convcrvative Richard 11. Dana, who Las
forgotten that ruffled shirts went out of date
20 yeers ago, and who still reads the 1Vit.414-
n,el Intelligeneer sposin it to be a Whig
paper, is defeated, aml Butler, who wunst
hung a Demokrat in Noo Orleens, and who
wood do that same every miirnin to give
Lint all appetite, is fastened onto this here
wunst happy but now distracted county fur
two yeers more.
Grashus 11evins send the yaller fever b)
the Corners now, and finish us up to wunst.
I won't say a word ez to the cause uv
this terrible defeat. Seymour would make
speeches, with hez alluz bin fatle to Presi
denshul aspirants, and Blare would write
terrible letters, wich is just ez bad. Besides,
Blare fairly represents us, wich drily off all
decent people, and Seymour rather prides
hisself on bein a gentleman, wich chilled
the ardor of our own patty. The nomina
shells were untbrchnit, but don't reproah
'cm. It's fate.
I sigh, Deekin Pogram sighs, and the rest
of our cirldc wood sigh, only they heven't
returned from Injeany, where they hey gone
to vote in the interest of the Constitooshen,
and to aid in the maintainanee ny the laws.
sigh! I hey reason to sigh. For Pollock
will git the Post OEN after all. Tho his
hands are contaminated by bein taken into
the bands uv niggers—his hands wieh
handles hanker and draws molasses, and is
consequently degraded by earnin his own
livin—his hands will pass out to Deekin
Pogrant the paper whit the Corners takes!
The Deekin, ez he thought uv this, bust into
leers agin. "I she] stop that riper," sez he,
"and the Corners stud go hack into the
darknis uv ignorance. I slid never agin go
tin• a letter—nor will I ever hey one written
liu• Inc to anybody. When a Ablishn fac..
is at the general delivery, I shot stop pater
nizin the Post 011 is!"
Will the now Adminislration deprive a
whole community tw ft paper inertly to give
one uv its supporters a posislum? We steel
Ilut , I cookl entl(mr the loss of lily posishen
—for prinsiple I kin look inatertlom squarely
ill the face—hut I see other and more terri
ble results Ibllowin this, catastrophe.
\Vat uv the niggers? \Vat uv us? e steel
hey at our poles, all OW the black cusses who
live between here and Garrett stow'', a votin
ez regler ez though they white men.
We suet hey cm detilin the sacred ballot-box
ez Ow they WU% not uv a cussed race. I see
dark lines atitre our poor State. They will
hereafter hold the land wick they hey bought,
and they will increase and multiply. Pollock
will buy their prodoose and they will work
and get money. This money they will lend
to us—for we must hey it to sustain lite—
and they will take mortgages onto our land.
( When I say 0 r, I mean Deekin Pograin
and skit.) Ez we never work ourselves,
and will not hey, under the present arrange
ment, the means uv et unpellin the labor
necessary to our support, we kin never pay;
and the result will be, this beautiful land uv
()urn, wich we so deerly love, will pass out
try the hands uy the stronger and better race
into the control uv a weaker and less power
ful people.
The Deekin was remarkin suthin tti this
effect, when .toe Bigler miliaria in reply,
that the Deekin bed better throw himself
onto the sympathy of his sons.
a. Why, they can't work any more than I
kin," sed the Deekin.
'• I don't mean your poor white sons !"
sed this terrible Bigler. Thaw ain't uy 110
iikkolllll. But in the nigger settlement at
;arrettst own, you hey more than twenty who
The poor Deekin rushed out ov the room,
while Bigler loft his most feendish latt
The people will be deprived uv their inno
cent amoosements. l'his Grant will send on
armed hirelins, clothed in ojus 11100, With
muskets and Bich, who will prevent our
shootin niggers, and who will pertect on titer
farms and in ther shops the ojus Notherners
Who have settled in our midst. We slid
see the gellorious Southern system decline
shrilly and shoofly. The whippin posts will
rot, and the stox will decay—the yelp uv
dor!.fs \vill no more be heerd, and the cheer
ful crack tiv the pistol and the shreek uv the
man what has got his gruel, will no more be
beerd in all the land. Bascom, after he 11Cz
the fi'w Nrms still unmortgaged in the visin
it y, will close and go to Looisville, and em
hark into a wholesale grocery trade and jine
the church, and give li brolly to tinnily
skools; his groscry will full into decay, and
the sine will hang by one hinge. We shel
see churches and shoolhouses, factrys and
villages everywhere. The Popgram place
uv 2,000 akers will be divided up into twenty
frms, and on them farms will be the bustlin
Nio Yorker, the cool, calculatin Yankee,
the stiddy, hard-workin German—who will
display his grovelin nacher by workin him
self, inst id of forcin niggers to do it for him.
We shel he run over with skoolmarms, del
uged with academies, plastered over with
noosepapers, stunned with machinery, drove
crazy by the whirr, crash and clash uv mow
in machines and reapers. And there will be
cheese made at the Corners. Pennibacker's
distillery will be turned into a cheese factry,
and weak whey will run wher now the
genrous high wines flash along the troughs.
Titer will be no rectifyin at the Corners—
the hog pens will be abolished, and in titer
stet will lie skool houses. And methinks I
see in my mind's eye, Horasho, the sperit,
lite ghost tiv the departed Pogram, (for he
wont survive it long,) a hoverin over the
scene, ez llamlick's hither did. The blessid
shade will look in vain tOr his house—on the
spot w her it stood will be an academy. He
will turn to Bascom's, but titer he will find
a deestrick skule. "To Pennibackers!" he
will gasp in a sperit whisper, and with a
speritooal smack uv his speritooal lips lie
will hover over it, but the smell UV cheese
in the place uv the strengthin odors in which
lie delites, will send a speritooal shudder
thro him. A gost uv a tear will run down
his speritooal nose, linger for a minnit at the
tip like a dew drop on the rose, and fall !
Then will the dissatisfied gost demand to be
taken back to purgatory, a place less tryin
to his nerves.
Deckin Popgram llcz only britont'd up
thot flashed over his mind wielt gave
him eaufort fin• a minnit. "Isn't titer a
Booth for Grant ez ther WU. for Lipkin ? "
askt he.
" Ali !" sed I in alarm, " wood you kill
Grant to hey Colfax in his place ? We mite
kill Colfax, say you. Alars ! sposn they'd
elect Sunnier cr. President uv the Senit. Kill
Sumner ? Good Lord, no ! They'd then
elect Butler Speaker uv the House, and he
can't be killed. No ! No ! We lied better
bear the ills we hey, than to fly to them we
know not uv. Its gone. All is up with me
and us. I shel stay in Kentucky fir the
present, tho wat may become uv me the
Lord only knows.
is Postmaster.)
Here is a decision by a learned Dutch
judge :
Mistier Foreman and toiler jurymans—
Der brisoner, Vleekter, vinished his game
mit der sheriff, and has peat him, but I shall
Baku care he don't peat me. Hans has been
dried for murder pefore you, and you must
pring in der verdick, but it must pe cordin
to der law. De man he kilt wasn't kilt
at all, as it was broved he is in der jail at
Morrisdown for sheep sdealing. Put dat
ish no madder. Der law says ven dc•re ish
a ton't you give um to der brisoner, put here
ish no ton't—so you see der brisoner ish
Pesides, he is a great loafer. I haf
hnowd him %illy year, and he hasn't tone a
stlitch of work in all dat dimes, and dere is
no one dettendin on him for der livin, and
Le ish no use to nopoty. I clink it would
lc Boot blans to hang him for de examble.
I dirk, Mr. Voretuans, dat he peller pet
next fouri of July, as tier militia ish going
to drain in anoder county and der would be
no vtut goin on here.
A NtAN coming home late one night, a
little more than "half seas over," feeling
thirsty procured a glass of water and drank
it. In doing so he swallowed a small ball
of silk that lay in the bottom of the tumbler,
the end catching in his teeth. Feeling some
thing in his mouth. and not knowing what
it was, he began pulling at the end, and the
little ball unrolling. he soon had several feet
in his hands, ant! still no end apparently.
Terrified, he shouted of the top of his voice,
"Wife ! wife ! I say, wife, come here ! lam
all unraveling !"
A waggish journalist Willi is often merry
over his personal plainness, tells this story
of himself: " I went to a chemist the other
day for a et ;se or morphine lin• a sick friend.
The assistant objected to give it to me With
out a prescription, evidently fearing that I
intended suicide. " Pshaw!" said I, "do I
look like a man who would kill himself?"
Gazing steadily at me a moment, he replied,
" I don't know. It seems to me it I looked
like you I should be tempted to kill myself."
I'S M . inn • liVeS frMii \( to
volt." are useful only as we apply tlicin for
the instructilak, and
,guidance of others,
and the lives most useful to our people . ar r
nut from the highest wall:s : not f non
the raitl:s of wealth. or among; the len(lors
of parties or of anoi,s. Nl', would not
disparage the position of one. or the glo
ries of th, , outer, hot men err in holding:
up to the youth of our country the eN;l111-
Pie of any of the classes especially, Thy
glory ana strength of our country comes
not front the marts of trade-- :it:boils of
enterprise though these are- 1144 1 . 1•1• Ill flue
10111111 NVilyre keen display of intellectual
warfare charm the listening crowd; not
front the battle-field where Olen :ire made
and marred, but in the workshops and :it
the ftrge ; in the mine, and itt the
here men are found to build up and sustain
the power of the Sign , (Mc has
said "muscle and brain" will carry - the
(lay, and experience has proven that lute is
of no value without the other. The schoo l
that op!rh,ts the training and developing*
the powers of the body at the same time
that the plovers of the min(' are thing di
rected, can be of little value•to Antericans.
The man must be armed at all points NVIIO
would succeed in this world of strife, for
the prizes of life. 1 inhecility has no chance
although boasting a pedigree as long as
the patience of Deity—and that is quite
long enough, as most potpie will acknowl
edge. The men who have occupied the
first place ill the minds of all reasonable
men, are iis(f/t/ men like the practical prin
ter, ; philanthropists like the
doutitable worker, Peter ( 'ooper, who
great charities, and like his prede
cessor, Ben. Franklin, enunciates pure
Bepublican doctrine.
Let no young man laboring at his trade
feel discouraged because otitis slow a(lvance
to Wealth :Ind position in society. No
real prosperity eomes by rapid growth.
(Mr great men have devel(tped
Washington and I;rant are Ehir examples
of this—each did the Work immediately
bethre hint, and trusted in Providence and
his own correct habits. The road to dis
tinction is o p en to all who have will :111(1
M. Andreoli, a Russian writer, who was
exiled some years ago to Siberia, is now con
tributing to the Revue Muderne, under the
title of "Sovenire de Siberie," his recollec
tions not only of Siberian but also of Russian
life. In the last number of the Revue lie
tells a story, the end of which belongs to the
present reign, the beginning to the reign of
Paul, of whose period it is strikingly charac
"The Emperor's favorite was at that time
a young French actress, of whom he was
madly jealous. One evening, at a ball, he
noticed that a young man named Labanoff
was paying her a great deal of attention.
Ile did not lose his temper, but at the end
of the ball gave orders that Lab:moll should
be arrested and thrown into the citadel. He
only intended to keep him there a few days,
"to make him more serious," after which
Le proposed to reprimand lihn, and then to
appoint him to an Alec which had been so
licited for him. LabanolT, however, was
" At the death of Nicholas, Alexander 11.,
then full of magnanimity, liberated all the
prisoners in the citadel, without exception.
In a vaulted tomb, in which it was imposi
ble to stand upright, and which was not
more than two yards long, an old man was
found, almost bent double, and incapable of
answering when he was spoken to. This
was Labanotl: The Emperor Paul had been
succeeded by the Emperor Alexander 1., and
afterwards by the Emperor Nicholas: he
had been in the dungeon more than fifty
" When he was taken out he could not
bear the light, and, by a strange phenome
non, his movements had become automatic.
Ile could hardly hold himself up, and he had
become so accustomed to move about within
the limits of his narrow cell that he could
not take more than two steps forwards with
out turning round, as though lie had struck
against a wall, and taking two steps back
wards, and so on alternately. lie lived for
only a week after his liberation."
One of the zealous chaplains of the Army
of the Potomac, called on a colonel noted
for his profanity, in order to talk about the
religious interests of his men. He was po
litely received, and motioned to a seat on a
chest, when the following dialogue ensued :
Chaplain—Colonel, you have one of the
finest regiments in the army.
believu so.
Chaplain—Do you think you pay sufficient
attention to the religious instruction of your
num ?
Colonel (doubtfully)—\V ell, I don't know,
Chaplain—:l lively inter( st has been
awakened in the —th Massachusetts (a
revival regiment.) The Lord has blessed
the labors of his servants, and ten have
already been baptised.
Col,mel (excitedly)—ls that so? (To the
attendant)—Sergeant major, have fifteen
men detailed i:nnu for baptism. I
won't be outdone by any Mas-achusetts regi
man should be wise in dispute; a lion in the
battle and conflict; a teacher in the house
hold; a councillor in the nation; an arbitra
tor in his vicinity; conscientious in action;
content with his state; regular in his habits;
diligent in his calling; faithful in his friend
ship; temperate in his pleasure; deliberate
in his speech; devoted to his (hid. So he
will be happy in his life, easy in death, an
esteemed example to his successors.
Thu :Hartford Courant says there are more
deacons in• Wethersfield Ginn in any other
place in Connecticut. The other day a well
known deacon went to the steamboat Wharf
to see a friend Off, and as the boat started the
friend said, , •Good-bye, deacon," whereupon
twelve men who stood upon the wharf, im
mediately tipped their hats, and responded,
"Good-bye, sir."
1.1vE1:1" column of a newspaper contains
I'l%ml ten to twenty thousand distinct pieces
of metal, the displaccnu•nt of a single one
or which would cause a Wunder or a typo
graphical error. With this curious Net stat
ed, is it not a wonder that newspapers are
so generally accurate ?
A. coNsTAiILE in Kentucky, in lathHsiang
some personal property for sale, put up a
notice with the following clause: " I wyll
xpose for sail the s(la eighteen hundred and
sixty-six of Jan wun lytle roue loss ill. eo
much Marof as nia be necessary to satislised
Our T.dittic
DI 10; F.
Two inoro
Weary of breath,
Rashly importunate,
limit. to their death!
Mile them up tenderly,
Lift them with care,
II a mile them gingerly,
ti ,, sinotir and Blair
—Men 4 who take coliiders
antl julcps.
a ihe. 2 ; neeessaiily funny because his
tail is a \V
--The limn who leallif.re(l his nc=t is sap
posed In have Lee n a dealer in poultry.
—The man ho minds his business Wai
in Ibis town a few (lays ago, but kit
lie felt so Ion( some.
—Do unto other num as they would like
to do unto nn, find yon won't havo enough
in two NV eekS to get it shirt washed.
--An twin( int painter, on being asked
what he mixed his colors with to give so fine
an clit.ct, answcrud, -"I mix Dicta With
brains, sir."
—A man out 'West, NV 110 olfered Lail for ft
friend, was asked by the Judge if he had
any encumbrance on his farm. "Oh yes,"
said In', "my old woman.''
—lf a man is without enemies we wouldn't
give ten cents for all his friends. The man
0 can 111C:i SC everybody hasn't got sense
enough to displease anybody.
—A highly educated constable somewhere
in the Northwest exposes Mr sale a r ,, ;111
horse, "or so mutch thereof as ma bee hes
sary" to satisfy the judgment.
—Some one asks very innocently if it is
any harm to sit in the lapse of ages. It de
pends on the kind of ages selected. Those
from 17 to 25 arc extra hazardous.
—My first is what lies at the door; my
second is a kind of corn ; my third is what
nobody can 410 without, and my whole is
one of the United States. Mat-ri-mony.
—"What is your notion of the true phy
sician ?" asked a medical professor of a Ft 'l
deal, to which the latter replied : "Ile is an
unti)rtunate gentleman who is every day
called upon to perform the miracle of re
conciling health with intemperance."
—" Well," said a carpent4.4r, "of all the
saws I ever saw, I never saw a saw saw as
that saw saws." 110 probably is a cousin 14)
the man who knows his nose ; I know lie
knows his nose ; he said he knew his nose ;
and it' he said I knew he knew his nose, of
course he knows I know he knows his
—A farmer wrote as follows to a distio
guished scientific agriculturist, to whom he
felt under obligations for introducing a va
riety of swine : " Respected Sir—l went
yesterday to the cattle show. I found sev
eral pigs of your species. There was a
great variety of hogs, and I was astonished
at not seeing you there."
—A. southern paper advertises as follows :
"Wanted, at this °dice, an able-bodied, hard
featured, bad tempered, not to be put ottand
not to be backed down, freckled-face young
man to collect fin. this paper ; must furnish
his Own horse, saddle-bags, pistols, whisky,
bowie-knife and cowhide. 'We will furnish
the accounts. To such we promise constant
and laborious employment."
—" Do let me have your photograph,"
said at dashing belle to a gentleman who had
been annoying her with his :Mentions. The
gentleman was delighted, and in a short time
the lady received the piet um She gave it
to the servant with the nut stion, `• would
you know the original it' he should call ?"
The servant replied in the affirmative.
" Well, whenever he comes lull him I am
Billingti itreSS( . •A Olt yic~ysmt tint
subject or autographs precisely. lie thus
replies to an anxious corre,pood t ni who
asked for his autograph : '• We m7ver fur
nish ortograffs in less quantities than by the
pagis. It is a bizness that great men have
got into, but it don't strike its az being pro-
Malik nor amusing. \%e furnished a near,
a very dear friend, our ortogratf, a few days
ago, for 90 days. and it kost me * - 275 hew
get it back. We went, nut of the him ss
then, and have not hankered for it rinse."
—A southern exchange says : An old de
formed negro woman was passing along the
street, when a fashionable miss, troubled
considerably with the '• (recd n bend,"
turned around and looked after the poor old
negro woman, and was radii r disposed to
make fun of her deformity. The old negro
woman stopped and looked at her a tainute
or two, and very truthfully remarked :
miss, you needn't he pokin' fun at me, kale
de Lor a'mighty knows you's a bigger cu
riosity tolook at clan 1 is." The young lady
"humped" herself.
A " ri,Ay EP-411"1" POUT I( lAN.
Liferiutfly +ol9.litifid, there e
e(,tal en, y-- Mt' (!fle)4! wet:: ji
ftti . du qiiiec, woe iwthiii! I
1' j;,t( lother party—thl.'s ''i.' , /
I'll llci'