thintsufbanisr4 pritso.
Brief flint weifiebrenner.
SCIILIFFLETOWN, ITCkdoVer der 14ta,
MISTER FODDER ABRAHAM" DXUCKER
---Dear Sur—Pets bin kit awes amohl
happy ! Uri de Beyvy, de is so gepleased
gekitzeld das se yusht exactly geoid
das wann se grawd frei rous Ifollyloojer
kreisha wet. Under Sam Dinkop under
Joe Muckafliggle un de onnery kupperkep
w•u als dort ons Kitzelderfcrs ruin kucka
un nine-shtrike whiskey saufa, selly
gooka yusht grawd das wan a yeadas fun
ehna, dorrich an ulht rohr g'shluppt wter.
Ii et es is aw keh %runner, for so we nicer,
des is, kit nu de lievvy nu de onnery Re
publicans se ainohl gebutta hen geskder,
fergessa se limner on cawicli net.
ti course, we jell amohl de Republicans
gejoined halt, tin we jell tin de lievvy
awfonga hen tsu leckshuncera for der
tirant, ben do kierls shun seh henna das
der got up is mit 'yin Sohnoyer. De
fact is, 101 l halts g'wist das ich un de Bev
vy. tut my influence tsu fiel is for so.
Hui letslita Dutinernislidog lexat bin irk
tin de Bevvy ub g'slitart un sin nivver
noch Adainslownshieddle id' de meeting,
don WU der Misdor Kernel Forney un
der FODDER. ABRAHAM. uu seller gishwire
Billingfield dnrt seily slipoectia
hen. We ich broposed halt for tsu geh
war de Bevvy om butter dreah a, un
well se aw om bocka war, tin but nosh
de wesh Brous henka ghat, but se
g'nlehnt se kola net gell, un awer we der
butter flertich war donn hut se conclude
chn net wesha un solsa his der negsht
dog, un well es so feel kupperkep lint
doh im shteddle, un weil se flier my
watch g'shtola hen we ich of ehra Sei
moyer's Convention war, but se aw all
de wesh rei g'nununa, un done hab ich
amohi der shim - lel eig'shponnt, un de
Bevvy hut sick of gedressed un oh siu
!nen Weil es awer a wennich gegookt
hut for reaya hut de Bevvy ehra wocha
bonnet aw gedu. Awer, cheemany fires
was hen awer de leit hurrah'd we se
tins sehna lien geh We iner noch
Reamstownshteddle lantana sin done sin
nier grawd forna nous Munich 'em band
wauga g'fahrttun der FOINAIR
(de Bevvy behawpt er is der shensbt
moan in Lengeshter county) is grawd
hinna noth knintna mit sell= ltoyer ivu
seller siltation halt dort ut' em Railroad.
Well, des ding war gout, we later noch
Adatustownshteddle hut - tuna sin hen iner
grawd ousg'shponnt un sin tsufoos in der
possession mei un aniohl dortich's shted
dle gemarch'd, tin down of de meeting NVU
se de shpeecha giniacht hen. Seller
Kurile]. Forney fun Fildelfy huts ehna
awer tunoldgevva , un so we Cr g'shpeecled
hut iergess h2h un de lievvy initner un
eawich net.
Doh in Shlitlk)town sin awei. de
Kitzelderfer's nine slurike whiskey dem
okrata down uf mich Iveil ich geshter
amohl a bully goots 'publican dieket nei
ovate hab, un awer Hi bin yetz inde
pendent un du we MI will, for de llevvy
hacked mich uf we a monn. Der alt Joe
Windmiller hut awer Dort broweert mich
widder tsuriuk uf chra side kreeya, un
awer er huts net Bons kumma kenna.
thti Fridog numtnidog is er tsu liter kum
ma we ich om grumbeera ous macha war .
iu der hit dort kinnich 'cut shtall, un
holds mich der deihenker wan er net a
whiskey buttle ous cm sock hut nil hawa
ivella das ich amohl elms ob petza set,
awer ich hab chin g'sawt das all de leit
iu Schliftletown kenna mich net macha
my aid brecha, abbordich wain tie Bey
vy uf liuf mile negsht is. Well dune sin
mer so a wennich in a wrangle nikununa,
un doh gel) kit der exactly we mersg'hat
hen mitnonner.
"Du wtersht loch now net geaya de
Boot alt demokratish party geh" seeht er,
"tin aver es kummt mer fore das du ob
bisht. tin now," secht er, "du wairsht
dock nix geaya der demokratish Platform
!lawn."
Well, now," sog ich, " sell fershtay
ich net. All das ich wehs is das de Bev
vy all right is, un das eier party's leit
mer my watch g'shtola, hen we ich of der
Seimoyer's Convention war."
Yah awer now Pit," Becht er, "du
weasht, de reiche left eageua all de bend
er, an de onuy miss* se betsahla, awer
MIR
I.l3eaCl. • • -
THE DEMOCRATIC SOUTH AS IT WAS: 1 THE REPUBLICAN SOUTH AS IT IS
BARBARITY, SLAVERY AND DEATH !
LIFE, LIBERTY AND HAPPINESS
dies deznokratish dicket vota, un donn
kunana de doxa runner, for rner lien in'
sin se ob tsu tsabla mit greenbacks."
"Un is sell ye,tz de melmung fnm
demokratish tiatform ?"
"IVell, ynh," secht "es is."
"Un is es de rnelniung das weer done
all reich Nyterra we de \VII de bender
lien?"
" Well," seeht der Joe, "sell will MI
net yusht sauga, un aver of seller wcg
wterd doch de shuld betzahlt."
" Cn sog now amobl," hab ich g'sawt,
hen se donn greenbacks genunk for all
de bender 01) tsu easha ?''
Ei nay," seeht er, " aver se missa
eyva noch incliner macha, un sell is net
hurt t,ll du, for bobbeer geduldich, du
Nveasht, uns drucka kosht net feel."
" Donn." sop, - left," of course, wwrils
geld orrig plenty."
" Exactly" secht er, "geld plenty—dart
husht recht—for sell gehna vier nei."
'• En denksht tner krceya down aw gold
for unser greenbacks'?"
"Nell nay, uf course net, for du weasht,
so feel gold huts alleweil net."
" Donn" sog lien er im sine de
shuld betzahla mit bubbler wu ow end
net feel wlert is well es so feel hut das de
leit net wissa was mit tsu do, on of den
wog kennta moor aw an ordlicher howfa
soninda."
Exactly so," secht der Joe—"ich sch
shun das du's fershtaysht."
" Awcr'' sag ich "ferleicht mist ich a
pund greenbacks im ruck sock hawa ally
mold das ich a pund tsugar kawfy wet
im shtore."
" Oh ich deck dock net das es so feel
'lemma debt," secht er. " Sell debt rich
so fun selver regulata. Awer now, Pit,"
secht er, " ferleicht debts dich suta mer
selly kleh note oh tsu tsahla wu du mer
shuldich bisht, for de fact is, ich branch's
geld."
" Uf course," lab ich g'sawt, "ich bin
reddy tiers tsu betzabla, according tsum
demokratish flat form."
"tin was meansht by sell= ?"
Ei walla dinner de note gebsht (101111
geb ich der an ornery, un of seller weg
wierslit betzablt, for sell is der weg we
do mer der demokratish tlatforun explain
ed humid."
" Vith awer es is nix im datform fun
weaya der note wit do iner shuldieh
bisht."
" Awer sell mock ineer now nix ous,"
hob ich g'sawt, " for wann do a deinokrat
bisht (loon inusht ow shtny of demokrot
ishe brinciples."
" Do bisht iner (loch de note sholdich,
un woun du au ehrlicher moon bisht (loon
betsohlslit nier se ow. According tsu
deicer broposition wit inich Brous be
sheisa
" bs is yusht so liar das ich dick be
treeg Os das de deinokrata mich betrecya
ons mina greenbacks, odder meim noch
ber semi bond." No sir, "hal) id' I,l'sawt,"
du muslit net denka das MI so denim bin
das ich civil net fershtay. Anyhow, selly
note husk fun leer kriekt we ich g'sutlit
war un we user korta g'shpeeld hen dort
ous Kitzelderfers, un veil se shun ivver
sex yohr alt is, tin veils ken ehrliehe
shuld is, betzahl ich se anyhow net.
A wer ich will eompromisa mit der, "sag
ich ;" de note is dreisicli dahler, un ich
bin willens der an order gevva of eier
party leit wu titer my watch g'slitola hen,
nu sell maeht tins eawa."
I)er Joe is donn of un oh, un we er
tsu der lut 11011 S is ivvers folder hut er
o'saut ieli wter an ferdeivelter torn-coat
un net besser das a shtrawellerun a meen
er Frei shoot moms, un we er fort war bin
ich nei ins hous un hab der Bevvy alles
g'sawt, un se hut mer exactly recht gevva.
Iforra fir Grant!
PIT SCIIIVICFILEBRENVER.
kununt all recht
ivver a while. Forram yohr war's 22
demokratish un des yohr yusht 20. Dern
noe.h gehts noch about elf yohr bis mer
se beeta kends. P. S.
~`ArTIIEII, A. 13 11 AIA A_ IVI.
A Betheettyshltn CollSarlan the
tittygttr.
A quesfion ax, Misthur Saymore,
t )v a mat thor that's bothered me quite;
II disht ress.-s me mind in the mornin'
Aml qtlties me dltramin' at night.
eo o rse shapin" aceordim
T" the Ithumekrat plait,
But its bothered I am Friel the question—
is the uaygur a baste or a man?
Shure, lso't it 1 Mninykrat doethrine
The ilavgur's a two-fatted haste,
We.l wool like a sltape, an' a pairfttme
;isg.it,slititig to payptd tayste ;
A lip like a shlice uv sthale liver,
Au' a Mt thin is !atilt on a plan
That ti lid shim. an Afrikin monkey,
lint divil ;t hit ov a man.
.111' hasn't it, demonstratid
Ile van Myer have hrains in his skull,
For lusted ov hair on the outside
The 1111.1.2,tir has nothing but wool.
An' as dliirtt tot' Hack are his faytures
As the soot I;ittle or pan;
So a luste of some sort is a naygur;
lie niver was meant for a man.
lint here, lie.la(l, is the punle
That bothers me night an' day;
Whin the South. in the days of her gloorv,
.
Was under Dimmykrat shway;
The uttygar was held in subjecslam
On the ould Patriarkal plan;
lie was counted up wid the cattle,
An' not set down as a man.
But now it, is Dimmykrat, practice,
South ov Mason an' Dixon' line,
To tlu•ate a wooly-head naygtu•
Like a giutleman shupertine.
Ile is asked to Dimmyknn maytins :
If he wants to snake he can;
An' the spache ov the baste is phrintid
The saute as the spaclte a man.
By the side of a black dirty naygttr,
A White Dimmykrat sits down to ate:
They tip off their whiskey in friendship,
And the Dinnnykrat offers to thrate.
To Saytnore an' Blair they kape dhrinkin
Togither as long as they can;
On the fittre thin they lie down togither—
The baste by the side of the man.
Its puzzled I ant beyant sphakin;
Diva wan ov me knows where I shtand,
Or can till when I mate with a naygur,
To tip him me tihst or me band.
Ph go mad wid this same botherashun;
I've stood it so long as I can;
What is the new Itimmykrat doethrine—
Is the naygnr a haste or a titan?
AN ENPLEANANTNENN AI"FRE CORNERS—ROW THE
EITIZENs OP TriAT QUIET I.OOALITy WERE COM
r ELLE!) TO TA NE Er AIIMS IN THEIR DEFENCE—
MR. NANNY'S AcCoNINT op THE A NNAIR.
POST OFFIS, COSFEDItIT X ROADS,
wich is in the State uv Kentucky,)
September 28, 1868.
For fear that colored statements of
the late unhappy ailitir with occurred at
this place, may be sent North to the
prejoodis uv the Democracy, I hereby
make a calm and truthful statement uv
it. I will 'wells my account by statin
that the citizens uv the Corners have
allus desired to live on amicable terms
with the colored men, feellu that their
interests are more or less idenlikle.
To show how completely we hey con
keyed our prejoodisses and how much
we desire peace, I will state that for a
month ther hey bin only two Diggers
hung, and then under circumstances uv
grate provocation. One of em made a
face at Issaker Gavitt, and tother refused
to give Kernel Punt credit for a load of
watermelons, claimin that the Kernel
already owed him, and that there wuz
no law for a nigger to collect debts uv
white men. tly coone we can't stand
insilence from em.
The late unpleasantnis originated in
this wise. The Radikels uv this county
lied given out that they intended to hold
a politikel meetin at this place on the
20th instant. I knew that ef they did it,
blood would flow, for I knowd the tem
per and feelings uv our peaceable citi
zens. To avoid bloodshed, I sent word
to em not to come—not to hold the
meetiti—that ef they did, I cood not be
hold responsible, and ther blood wood
be on ther own heads. Partikelerly I
warned em not to come armed, for our
citizens wont stand that anyhow. We
kin never permit men who differ from us
to carry arms, es in case wee hev dis
poots with em, they mite be dangerous.
My well meant endeavors wuz frootlis,
and Issaker Gavitt thot he'd try. On
the mornin uv the day, Issaker rode out
to find of they were bound to come in,
also whether they wuz armed. He re
turned reportin uv em comin, and every
man uv em armed to the teeth. At 10
A. M. the procession entered the town
headed by moosic and the nashnel flag.
Ez it passed Bascom's, Issaker Gavitt,
who bed a double-barreled shot gun in
4- cltrtett.
in" In N"NIS Wrr,AhrEirrr
NASBY
his hand, happened accidentally to let
the hammer fall onto the nipple, when
it went otl:
Unfortunately it wuz pinted in the
direcslmu of the procession, and a nigger
fell from his horse with the top uv his
head blowed orf. To increase the disor
der a small rock, playfully throwed by
Kernel Punt at about the same time,
struck another one on the head, and
several other rocks from others in and
about Bascom's knocked several more
uv em down. lied the Diggers passed
on quietly all wood hey been well, but
they didn't. Eager to quarrel, and full
uv insolence, and reely seekin pretext to
embroil us, the procession stopped in
wild confushin, many nv em takin to the
woods to create the impression that they
lied bin attackt. The dooplicity of the
nigger character is beyond finding out!
We wuz surprised at their breakin up so
suddenly, and for
,a miuit we didn't
know what to do.
Ez the pereession stopt in front uv
Bascom's our citizens conjectured their
design wuz to attack the groscry, which
is reely the citadel uv the town. In
Bascom's is all the licker we hey ; in
Bascom's our innocent revels is held;
and Bascom's we will defend to the last !
What wuz we to do ? Unarmed and
helplis, we were onprepared for this.
But heaven smiled onto us, and gave us
the means to defend ourselves.
The rifles, revolvers and shot guns be
longin to the principle families uv the
Corners and the surroundin country
happened to be in Bascom's, stackt up
behind his bar, and providenshelly they
ni
wuz all loadid and rapt. In a nth's
time they wuz distributid, and afore the
mob cood organize to make the attack a
well directed volley wuz poured into em.
This dismayed em, and the entire mass
uv em, sich ez wuzn't killed, fled to the
woods. Two uv the blood-thirsty
wretches wuz shot at the edge of McPel
ter's woods by the Captain and Elder
Pennibacker, who feared that they wuz
goin in there to reorganize anti return
to complete their dreadful work. Elder
Pennibacker killed one inhuman villain
with an axe, which had bin wounded in
the leg and wuy, found in a corner uv his
fence tryin to stop the flow uv the blood.
All that day a posse uv citizens were en
gaged in quellen the fears uv the com
munity by huntin down these dangerous
incenjaries with dorgs and killin uv em,
for ez they exceeded us in numbers we
reely trembled for the safety uv our
wives and children.
After a terrible day, the agitated town
wuz restored to its wontal peece, and
the citizens slept ez yoosual. The casu
altes on our side is not so large ez
mite hey been expected, when we con
sider the fearful purpose uv the barba
rians who assaled us. Deekin Pogram
wuz seriously injoored by a rock which
Issaker Gavitt histed strate up in his un
thinkin excitement, and poor Kernel
MePelter's shot-gun bust the second
time he fired it, takin orf his thumb.
These injoories sustained by our citizens
may he charged directly to the infernal
niggers who would provoke our peacefly
inclined people. But they suffered for
it. Eleven uv them wuz killed, and
some thirty or forty wuz wounded. The
latter hey been all cared for. They wuz
taken to the -County Infirmary for treat
ment—the expensas being charged up
to em ez a lien upon their property,wich
will, of course, be sold to defray it.
Old citizens do not boast uv wat they
hey done. They feel it wuz an unpleas
ant dooty they bed to perform, but they
hed to do it. Corrupt and reckless men
hey bin leadiu the colored people astray,
and they bed to defend themselves. Hed
they only taken my advice, and not at
tempted to hold their meetin, this wood
not hey happened. lied they not hey
come into the Corners with moosic and
a Naslinel flag a Ilyin, they wood not
hey been killed. And even then, bed
they gone on quietly after the lust one
wuz shot, and the others wuz knockt
down with stuns, I doubt whether any
thing more would hey bin dun.
They shoodn't hey held meetins. We
kin never endoor a meeting uv niggers,
and we never will. Knowin this, why
will they persist in holden of em?
The citizens uv the Corners agree
unanimously (except Joe Bigler and Pol
lock) that all the blame must rest upon
the Diggers. I don't believe in appeels
to arms, but wat kin we do when we are
so driven ?
PETROLEUM V. NABBY, P. M.,
(Wish is Postmaster.)
P. S.—The President ineedn't send
solgers down to protect us, at least so
long ez Grant his in command. Bed we
General Itosel or Hancock in command,
with Seymour ez President, it wood be
different. Ez it is we shell hey to per
tect ourselves.
lEle#3.
V 6- 'ut
,ioitts.
Shoppi t# rt.
shind Iwitinti
'rho flay Fll nc'er t;
She thought thy nuts
Than any Sh'll ;
1 NVItt(110(111(.1.1)13Yfill
The silk ;mil toss ;
The clerk looked 411111.1 . Itne;lsy,
Ana nodded at the boss.
-Show me some velvet ribbon,
Barege and satin lurk,"
She said, "I want to purchase'..
-Then gave the goods a jerk.
The clerk was obedience.
lle traveled "on his shape ;"
At length, with hesitation,
She bunttLt a yard of tape.
—Young Lady of Eight Summers.—
" Say, Georgie, when you are a great big
lady and get married, what will you do,
eh 4 ?" GEonmE—"Oh, I expect I'll get
a sewing circle, and go to the water-cure,
and have lots of jewelry. What will von
d o, Sissy ?” "Oh, me ! I'll have a nice
young man, with beautiful whiskers come
to see me ; and my husband, you know,
he'll get mad, and I'll cry and go to
Chicago, and sue for a divorce, and it will
be in all the papers, and the reporters
will say that I'm a pale and spiritual
looking lady, and my husband is a brute ;
that'l be so nice."
—"Three and sixpence per gal l" ex
claimed Mrs. Partington, looking over the
price-current. " Why, bless me, what
Is the world coming to, when the gals
are valued at only thrce-and-sixpence ?"
—Why is a lawyer like a sawyer?—
Because whichever way he moves, down
must come the dust.
—" Well, Bridget, if I engage you I
shall want you to stay at home whenever
I shall wish to go out." " Well, Illa%llll,
I have no objections, providin' you do
the same \Olen I wish to go out."
—" Can I take either side and g e t to
the depot ?" inquired a stranger. " Yes,
sir; or the middle of the street either,"
was the cool reply.
—This is the Connecticut let for
bed-bugs :—Shake them an down into the
middle of the sheet, and put some ice
anion! , them. Pretty soon you will see
the little fellows getting upon their hind
legs and beginning, to thrash themselves
to keep warm. After that you need not
be afraid of their biting, but may go to
bed and sleep secure front their attacks
for the rest of the night.
T is unwise to worry about what
cannot be helped, and foolish to worry
about what eon he helped. Therefore
worry not at all.
—An exchange su[ , gests that flrtv! , ists
are indictable for selling blisters under
the law against inflammatory plavards.
—Rufus Choate used to say that the
three most troublesome clients he had
were, a young lady that wanted to get
married, a married woman that wanted
a divorce, and an old maid that didn't
know what she wanted.
A dignified gentleman in going into
church found his seat occupied by a
stranger. Highly indignant thereat, be
wrote upon a card, " This is my seat, sir !"
and tossed it to the stranger. The latter
wrote in reply, " It's a very good seat;
what rent do you pay ?" The indignant
owner apologized.
—A Mrs. Boots, of New York, has left
her husband, Mr. Boots, and started for
Barts unknown. We presume this pair of
oots are rights and lefts. We cannot
say, however, that Mrs. Boots was right :
but there is no mistake that Mr. Boots is
left.
—When Marshal Narireaz, a blood
thirsty Spaniard, was on his death-bed,
he was advised by his confessor, to for
give all his enemies. have none,' re
plied the marshal, I had them all shot
long ago.'
--An old miser, who was notorious for
self-denial, was one day asked why he
was so thin. "I do not know," said the
miser, " I have tried various means for
getting fatter, but without success.—
“llave you tried any victuals I)” inquired
the friend.
--" Larry," said a coquettish young
lady to her cousin, permaturely bald,
" why is your head like heaven ?" 'Don't
know, I'm sure," replied the swell, "un
less it has a shining crown." "Good, but
not correct. Because there is no more
dying or parting done there !"
--What strange creatures girls are !
Offer one of them good wages to work for
you, and ten chances to one if the old
woman can spare any of her girls ; but
just propose matrimony, and see if they
don't jump at the chance of working a
whole lifetime for their victuals and
clothes.
--A physician advertised that at the
request of his friends he had removed
near the church-yard, and trusted that
his removeal would accommodate many
of his patients.
—Out in lowa there is said to be an
organization of females who call them
selves Grant girls, and have for a motto
"match us."
—Tailors may not be a very terrible
set of human beings; but we have seen
many a man who, although vain of his
courage, couldn't look his tailor in the
face.
—Men are like bugles; the more brass
they contain the more noise they make,
and the further you can hear them.
—" Too big for his business," as the
lady said to the sweep, who stuck in the
chimney.
—The individual who attempted to
raise colts from horse.ehestnuts went hi
to the market the other day, and inquired
for a mock turtle to make " mock turtle
soup" of.
—A Western editor, having published
a long leader on "Hogs," a rival paper
in the same silage upbraids him for
obtruding his family matters ou the
public. •