Copyright applied ford
13 ennentbanisrb c4ritscb.
BPief Fitn Schliifiviorrm
ScatAFFLETows, July 14“3,
MISDEP. 'FODDER ABRAHAM. DnucKER
Deer Sur—De letsht woch war ich in Nei
Yorrick—bin onna gonga for nnich uf de
Convention hueka, un ye tz will ich der
amohl shreiva was user g'happened
Om mitwoch nummidog, hab ich my
mind of gemaeht zu geh, aver de Bevvy
huts net recht shtanda wella. Sc hut
g'mehnt das Nei Yorrick is ken platz for
decenty leit onna zu gel), ahboPdich wane
so fled demokrata dot sin. Ich hab ach
Boot fershtanna ferwass das se ohjecta
dut—se but suspect das wann ich in Nei
Yorria in so demokratishe kumpany
kwinn done dehta mer ferleicht shlechty
sacha happena. Awer, der negsht
morya—om Dunnershdog bin ich oh un
hab icier so a disclission dicket gekawft
uf en Railroad.
Im car wars aver yusht about foli dem
okrata, un dort hab ich ach der Mr. Gly
mer awgetroffa, seller wu doh for a paar
yohr amohl Guferneer wter warra vans
net for de feela votes for seller Geery
;'west '‘ver. Weil ich elm foot bekannt
bin, donn hab ich ach hands g'shaked
mit ohm un hab g'sawt how-di-doo
Ifisder Glymer," un donn secht er "flow
di-doo Pit, is that yoo." Well donn hen
mer amohl a wennich g'shwetzt fun
delegates, un so fief das ich elm fer
shtanna hal) hut er a notion rolls zu kutn
ma for Kungress in Barricks county des
shpoat yohr, un er hut mich ach fer
shprecha macha zu kumma als an 'dele
gate for elm, un donn hut er gefioked ep
my alt un de Khmer g'suncl sin, un
'meiner Bevvy ehra shtink-kase hut er
g'sawt w:er der beslit das als of der inor
rickt kununt.
Wie mer awkumma sin in Nei Yor
rick hetslit awer derbei sei sella under
crowd seima ! Der Glymer hab ich gons
ferlora, un about tswansich so .boova sin
u►n mich ruin un a yeader hut obsolut
my karpet bag nemma wella, un donn
bin ich ach umringt waria mit a troop
foormenner un a'yeader hut a longy wip
katta un als " carriage" geroofa so loud
das er hut kreisha kenna, un des ding hut
mich so gebottert das ich for a while
shtill shtey geblivva bin. Donn hut ehner
mich g'froked eb ich net uf de Convention
geh will, un wie ich ehm alles g'sawt hab
donn hut er proposed mit mer zu geh on
a first rate gooter platz for shtoppa.
Uf course, ich bin mit thin gonga, un
donn sin mer shtrosa nuf un um ecka
rum bis ich nimmy gewist hab weller
weg das mer kumma sin. Un a crowd !
Inner un eawich was sin awer de leit
uf un oh gemareh'd! Donn sin mer in so
an saloon gonga, un dort hut my freind
amohl gedreat, un awfonga fun der deni
okratish party zu shwetza. Donn hab ich
gedenkt, doh mus yetz ach amohl ged
reat wccrra, un ich rouse mit mein grossa
pocket-buch un hab de round g'shtand,
un wie mer on der bar wart is diner
Naspy fun Kendueky derzu kumma un
hut mer amohl de
,hood gevva un
mich so ousgefroked wu ich wohn un was
my nawma is. Donn hab jell noch
amohl gedreat, under Naspy hut ach
close zu mer g'shtickt weil ich an gooter
de►nokrnt bin. Er hut mich ach uf a side
genurnina pn gefroked eb ich ehm net
linf dahler lehna kennt un, uf course, ich
habs ehm gevva. Donn sin mer ivver de
shtrose uu in an onnerer saloon. Sell
war awer ach an p!atz ! About a dutz
end fun de shenshty maad das jell my dog
un des lehwas hab hen uns obge
wart, un des hut much so gepleased das
ich noch amohl gedreat nab, awer we's
ons betzahla gonga is donn hohls mich
der deihenker wane net my bocket buch
fort war ! we ich rum gook for my
monn wu mit mer kumma is donn war er
beim bettle ach fort ! Dort war ich, com
pletely g'shtrapped! trn well ich es or
rig nothwendich gebraucht het, hab ich
der Mr. Naspy gefroked ep er mer net
selly finf dallier widder zurick gevva
deht, awer er hut hehawpt das ers net du
kennt well er yusht entirely ous wecksel
is. Er hut mer awer proposed das ich
my watch ferkawfa set, un uf seller weg
an raise macha. Donn hab ich ach
graved conclude es zu du, un ich gook
ruin un froke diner Cl) er Bier sauga
kennt wo ich se ferkawfa kennt un done
secht er " lets see your watch—may be
I'll buy it," un ich, uf 'course, hab chin
se gevva. Donn hut er se examined un
uf ehmohl secht or, " wait a minute, I
want to show it to Mister Jones, next
door, for he is a Boot judge," un done is
or nous, un awer er is tiler so long geb
livva das ich zuletsht unruich bin war
m un we ich amohl nochgefroked hab
done kwnmts evva rouse das seller very
dunner wetter ach an dieb is ! Ich uf un
al) ; ivver drie shtund bin ich in der shtadt
ruin gelutiil un awer kens fun denna ras
cals hab icln firma kenna! Donn bin ich
on de Convention gonga un awer se hen
mich net nei gelusht, un keh cent hab ich
etch raisa kenna for a ;laws beer zu
kawfa ! T_Tn seller Naspy war ach ninny
on de weg ! Donn hal) ich amohl on my
Bevvy gedenkt! Het ich yusht ehra
gefolkt un waer derherun geblivva. Zuni
g,lick hab ich noch my discussion dicket
katta for heam zu geh uf em Railroad, un
ich hab ach graved my mind of gemacht
das mit Nei Yorrick will ich nix inch zu
du hawa, un selly very nacht bin ich fort
uu ach glicklich in Schifiletown heam
kumma.
Awer de Bevvy ! Der weg we se niier
amohl fits gevva hut war now an sind !
Set hut contend das ich mus in ma shlechta
platz gewest sei weil ich hehm bin kum
ma olina geld un °him watch ! 1.7 n de
demokrata hen's ach yusht about g'fonga,
for de Bevvy behawpt das Bidder der
Johnson frei kumma is duhu de leit liel
mehner Oltenia Trio - =fire°, vn ich far
richt de Bevvy is yetz an full bloodcder
'publican. We ich un se ousmacha
of de long-run ward sich ousweisa.
PIT SCHWEFFLEMIENNER.
Brief Fun Schntierkft seshteddle.
SCIIMIERKASESIITEDDLE, One mile
fun Lodwarriektown, Yorriok Co.,
June 29, 1808.
Herr Drucker :—Du he tsht awes yusht
amohl sehna sella we de kupperkop ehra
bready kep gewackeld hen wemer elma
eier FODDER AnnimA3l's zeitung gc
wissa hen! Un ehra shpitziche meiler
sin gonga yusht graved we de enda ehra
shwentz wain' so in er hurry sin ! Du
weasht Yorrick County is foil kupperkep,
un se gleicha eier zeitung gar net, un
behawpta das es em FODDER ABRAHAM
sei shuld is das es so fiel locusts hut des
yohr ! Se sauga ach das mer hen genunk
demokratishe zeitunga doh in county
ohna selly ferdeifelt kleh Lenkeshder
county Abolition katakism doh unnich
uns zu shicka urn unser demokrata zu un
nerrichta ! Un, sauga se, mer wissa sel-
wer was Boot is for uns, for we de rebels
noch Yorrick kumma sin doh for a paar
yohr, donn hen mer ehna Booty warta
gevva, un ach geld, un flour, un &ash, un
sell war besser das fechtaun doat sheesa.
Awer, Misder FODDER ABRAHAM, es
hut ach Republicans doh in Yorrick
Caunty, un se sin yusht about true blues!
De yungy leit, de wu leasa un shreiva
kenna, sin gooter republican shtock, un
de shenshty weibsleit gehna ally monn
nei for Grant un" Colfax. Wart yusht!
Dort is Hellam township, sell lutst sich
heahra warm amohl de zeit kummt.
Negsht woch kummt ebbas fun der Lod
warrick explosion.
JOHN HOLESLEGLE
#tlecttb.
NASBY.
MR. NTASSY, TO SATISFY THE cox:mins. HAS AN IN
TERVIEW WITH CHIRP JUSTIOHOHASH-THE DICAD
POWER OF THE DAY DISCUSSED, AND THE CONCLU
SION ARRIVED AT.
POST OFFICE, CONFEDRIT X ROADS,
(WWII IS in tllO &aft uv Kentucky,)
June 20, 1868.
The Chase movement hez bin weighin
upon my mind like a incubus. Ther wuz
among our people a feelin uv distrust at
this idea uv takin up ez our candidate a
man who, to say the least, wuz the blood
iest Ablishinist who ever oust the coun
try, and I coodent altogether blame cm.
Ez Deekiu Pogram remarkt to me at the
very last conversashen we hed but one,
" I kin possibly go Chase, but will it end
there ? 'Spoze Butler shood bolt Grant,
must we put him on for Vice President?
Hev I got to support Chase and Butler,
or Chase and Sumner? Forbid it, Kevin."
I therefore went on to Washinton to
interview with Chase.
The Cheef Justis reseeved me corjelly.
When he found I wuz from Kentucky, he
remarked that he wuz delited that I came
when he wuz orf the bench, ez he wood
hey felt it his dooty to hey adjourned
court to hey the pleasure uv an inthrview,
and he reely disliked to =Wren._ with
public bisnis.
"Now sir," sed be, "I am ready to give
yoo answers to rich questions ez yoo
may desire. Yoo will find paper and
pencil on the table to put down my an
sers, or of yoo prefer it, I will hey a short
hand reporter in the presence."
I declined the short, hand reporter and
proceeded.
" The Democrisy uv Kentucky hey
long admired your gigantic abilities, and
the sterlin,
strate-forered simplicity of
yoor character. They wood hey testified
at any time ther appreciashen of yoo,
but tiler wuz bet Ween yoo and them some
slits differences uv opinion upon matters
uv public policy which prevented it. But
they alluz loved yoo, and they rejoice
FI_ATITIA_IR, A 131Z_A_HA_NI.
ANDREW 0. CURTIN,
THE PATRIOTIC WAR 'GOVERNOR-THE SOLDIER'S FRIEND.
that ther is a prospect now that these
differences may be smoothed down, so
that yoo may rush into the embrace uv
Kentucky. May I ask yoo to give me
yoor views upon the question of Afrikin
slavery?"
" Willingly, willingly, and bear in mind
that I shel speck with the utmost frank.
niss and plainess. Slavery, my dear sir,
I consider, in the abstract, an evil, tho
perhaps it wuz, in its practicle working,
an onmixed good. Ther is no yoose, that
I kin see, in discussin it. Its cleerly a
dead ishoo, and my motto hez alluz bin—
let the dead bury the dead. Pass on to
the next very."
"What is yoor opinyun uv withdrawn
the troops from the Southern States ?"
" The Constooshen knows the South
ez the North. The citizens uv the South
ern States, now that crool and devastatin
war is over, kin find ample perteckshen
under the Constution and by the opera
shun uv the laws. Hevn't you justices
uv the peace, and ain't they sworn to
vindicate the laws ? To them let the peo
ple uv the South confidently appeal.
Why keep anything there to remind an
alreadV irritated .people uv a DEAD
'?"
"Wat is yoor opinyun uv nigger suf
frage ?
" I object mildly but firmly to the
yoose uv the term 'nigger.' Ther is no
sich a word. Webster puts the word
'nigger' among the vulgarisms uv which
this age is onfortunitly prolific. It is
doubtless a corruption uv the word 'ne
gro,' which word is yoosed to kiver the
Afrikin race. Ez regards extendin the
suffrage to our Afrikin citizens uv Amer
ikin descent, I wood say it is a question
which requires the heftiest statesmanship
to deal with. It mite be denied them
altogether on the skore uv onfitnis, or it
mite be givin to all on the skore uv the
ekality onto wich our goverment is built,
or it mite be given to some and withheld
from others, or it mite be left to the
States. Ez an originel States rites man,
and • consekently in perfeek 'harmony
with the Democriey all my life, eeptin in
some triflin questions, wich are fortunitly
settled, I can't say that -I hey clerly
made up my mind on this question. I
incline, however, to the bleef, that it
aint worth while to discuss .it. It seems
to me that this question, tho it wuz wunst
vital, is now clearly a dead ishoo.
" Wat is yoor views on the question uv
ffeneral amnesty ?"
" Clearly thet the war settled all ques
tions, this inclooded. Wat wuz the coz
uv dispoot between the two seckshens ?
A difference of opinyun. Is the war
over and done? It Is. It eood not hey
bin ended until the differences uv opin
yun wuz settled? Certainly not! Then
why continyoo the acerbity engendered
by a difference uy opinvun when that
difference is reconciled ? Let the (=ker..
er and the conkered, or rather the stron
ger and the weaker party, meet on a
common level, and go to church arm in
arm, ez I did with Henry A. Wise, of
Virginny, only the last Sunday but one.
The Amnesty question I consider after
givin the subjick matoor considerashun
a dead ishoo.
" May I ask yoor views on the (to us)
all important question •uy payin the
bonds with greenbacks ?"
Certainly. I regret, however, that I
am onable to give yoo ez full and expli
cit an answer to this query ez to the
others. The fact is, my deer sir, I hey
never paid any attenshun watever to the
subjick uv finance, and am not competent
to give a opnion thereupon. I pledge
myself, however, to study the intrikit
question diligently, so that in case I am
nominated and elected, I kin recommend
a policy that will be entirely satisfactory
to the people. I shel hey to assertane
the different kinds uv bonds now held
aff,,in the goverment, the dates uv their
ishoos, and the,,stipulmhens ez to payin
uv em. From •my present stan-point,
and with my limited knowledge uv the
subjeck, I am inclined to hold the opinion
that, this question ) tho onct uv import
it now actually a deittrishoo."' - '
We converst some time upon other
topics, and I must say that I wuz char
med with the stratefohrd honesty will's
replies. lie asehoored me that he veus
a Democrat and alluz hed bin. He had
been estranged from the party on some
minor questions, wich hed bin happily
settled, and upon looking the subject all
over, he coodent find a single difference
atween them. All the questions wich
divided em wuz dead ishoos, and he coed
now shake hands corjelly with em. He
wuz not a partisan, in proof uv wich he
cited ml to his roolins on the impeech
ment trial.
While he bed alluz ben a Democrat,
and cherished the principles uv the party
as the especial apple uv his eve, he hed
not, it is troo, alluz acted with it. His
first vote was agin Jackson; his second
and third for s Hariison. He organized
the Liberty party movement, and voted
in 1848 agin Cass He also wuz elected
to the Senit by the Free Soilers, and op
posed Douglas's Kansas Nebraska skeem,
and in, 1855. wuz .elected Governor, of
Ohio by the party wich hez alluz hen op
posed to the Democrisy. He confessed
that he originated Greenbax, wuz a
Nashnel bank and tariff man, and hed
opposed the fugitive slave law and seces
sion, but what uv these ? They were
mere pints of policy in their day, and are
now, to say the least, DEAD ISHOOS Wat
we want is /WOOS, with thalireei
dency in rite hands, that the postoffices
may also be properly filled, This, he
thot, wuz now the grate question afore
the Amerikin people.
He inquired very affecksnately after the
health uv my wife and children, and also
ez to the crop prospeck in Kentucky.
and intimated, that of electid he shood
hold it to be his botuiden dooty to seleck
for the various subordinit posishens in
the ,government, men tried and troo.
He bleeved pertikelerly that the salaries
uv the postmasters in the smaller places
wuz ridiculously small and he shood to
r p eommend,the to be increased.
I partid witli him entirely - stitiSfied
with hie Dentoorlay. :-CkwAriy return I
narrated the conversashen to the Demo
crisy uv the Corners, who agreed with
me that it wuz entirely satisfactory. Jo
Bigler the remarked that of Democrisy
should marry Ablishism on the Fourth
uv Jooly and give birth to sich a men
strosity ez Chase, that it would be trooly
found to be a dead ishoo, but we never
pay any attenshen to him. So pleesed
were the Litizeneuv.the .corners at the
thot that all.the questions wick bed been
troublin'uv em so long were dead, that
they to wunst hung three niggers to the
trees, run off two Nothners, and met
and resolved that they wood never pay
a cent uv a debt inkurred in an attempt
to subjugate em.
We are solid for Chase at the Corners.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY, P.
(With is Postmaster.)
Tins is the way the New York World
used to talk about General Grant ; "Of
the steadiness and stanchness of General
Grant's patriotism, or the sprightness
and solidity of his character, no man in
the country doubts or affects to doubt.
On the score of loyalty and solid public
services, ne man in the country can come
into competition with this illustrious
soldier. The Presidency can be nothing
to him ;he has a more valuable office.
But if, in the hands of Providence, he
could be an instrument for tranquillizing
the country, that is an honor for which he
could afford to sacrifice ease, congenial
pursuits and the possibilities of still great
er fame as a soldier. As Washington
was elected and re-elected on the strength
of his character and services, without
pledges being asked or given, we trust
that Grant will be dlected in the same
way. Having restored the authority of
the Government we hope be may ad.' the
J4igliPstcivic to the highest military fame
by restoring long-lost cordiality of feeling.
A SOUTHERN poet, the Rev. Father
Ryan, gets this off:
Forth from its scabbard, pure and bright,
Flashed the sword of Lau!
Far in the front of the deadly fight,
HIP o'er the brave, in the cause of Right,
Its stainless sheen, like a beacon light,
Led us to victory.
It is all right, perhaps except the vic
tory. We really must object to that sen
timent.
IT is said that the Democrats have
adopted the apple blossom as a campaign
badge. The Lebanon Courier says that
it will be worn on the nose.
.itr tittle
cokes.
—A gentleman hi an eating house, the
other day, looked in vain for a bill of
fare. Not finding one, he inquired of a
waiter, a new corner, who was hardly yet
initiated into the mysteries of his voca
tion : " Will you bring me a programme?"
" Yes, sir," he replied; " will you have
it boiled or roasted?" The gentleman
fearing that it might be rather indigesti
ble, declined both propositions.
—A man passing through a gateway in
the dark, hit his nose against the post.
" I wish that post was in h-11," said he.
"Better wish it somewhere else," said a
bystander ; " you might run against it
again."
—A gentleman who wanted to make
a speech to a Sunday school thought he
would adopt the colloquial style, and this
is what happened: " Now,. boys, what
does a man want when he goes fishing ?"
A shrill voice in the crowd went direct to
the point with, " Want's a bite."
—A philosophical cabman in Mobile,
thus speaks of the section over which his
wheels make their tracks. It might ap
ply to a certain locality in this city: If
you run over a youn:2;ster down here in
this here ward," said le," the folks don't
say nothin'—kase they have got more
children than wittles for 'em—but you
just run over a goat, or a sow, or a pig,
and blast if a mob ain't arter you in two
minits !"
—A credulous man said to a wag who had
a wooden leg, "How came you to have a
wooden leg?" " Why." answered the
wag, "my father had one, and so had my
(Yrandfathei. It runs in the blood."
—The man who " Dreamt I dwelt in
Marble Halls," has opened a marble
quarry there, and is doing a thriving
business in getting out gravestones.
—The author of " Carry me back to
Old Virginia" has opened a livery-stable,
and is carried back in his own convey
ance whenever he wants to he.
—The one who pleaded " Rock me to
Sleep, Mother, Rock me to Sleep," has
at length been gratified. Ills mother
yielded to his repeated solicitations,
picked up a rock and rocked him to sleep.
He hasn't woke up yet.
—Mrs. Partingdon has been reading
the health officer's reports and thinks that
" Total" must be an awful malignant dis
ease, since as many die of it as all the
rest put together.
—An Irishman just from the ould sod
was seated at a cheap boarding house
where a plate of the national stand-by
was placed fore him, he turned to the
waiter : "What's that ?" " Hash.''
" Hash is it ? Well thin the man that
chawed that kin jist ate it."
—"lf you don't give me a penny," said
a young hopeful to his mamma, " I know
a boy that's got the measles, and I'll go
catch 'em—so I will."
—An ugly old bachelor suggests that
births should be published under the
head of "new music."
—A young lady—a sensible girl—gives
the following catalogue of different kinds
of love : " The sweetest, a mother's love ;
the longest, a brother's love ; the strong
est, a woman's love ; the dearest, a man's
love; and the sweetest, longest, strong
est, dearest love, a 'love of a bonnet.' "
—" Young man, do you believe in a
future state ?" "In course I duz ; and
what's more, I intend to enter it as soon
as Betsy gets her things ready."
—Woman is composed of two hundred
and forty-three bones, one hundred and
nine muscles, and three hundred and
ninety-six pins. Fearfully and wonder
fully made, and to be handled with care
to avoid scratches.
" Good blood will always show itself,"
as the old lady said when she was struck
by the redness of her nose.
—Why should young ladies make good
rifle volunteers? Because they are ac
costomed to " bear arms."
—A little boy seeing a drunken man
prostrate before the door of a groggery,
opened the door, Ind putting in his head,
said to the proprietor : "See here, sir ;
your sign has fallen down!"
[By our special Artist.]
A Representative Democrat His
Return From, New York.