©silo jHKrfflasj®iaiß © sj@sr 3 2F^3anesnssss
Whole No. 2754.
Uewlstown Post Office.
Mails arrive and close at the Lewietown P.
O. as follows;
ARRIVK.
Eastern through, 5 33 a. m.
" through sad way 4 21 p m.
Western " " " 10 38 a.m.
Bellcfonte " " " 2 30p m.
Northumberland, Tuesdays, Thursdays and
Saturdays, 6 00 p. m.
CLOSE.
Eastern through 8 00 p. m.
" •• and way 10 00 a. ro
Western " " 330 p. m.
Bellefonte 8 00 "
Northumberland (Sundays, Wednesdays
and Fridays) 8 00 p. m.
Office open from 7 30 a. m. to 8 p. m. On
Sundays from Bto9 am. S. COMFORT, P. M.
Lewistowu Station.
Trains leave Lewistown Station as follows:
Westward. Eastward.
Baltimore Exoress, 4 40 a. m.
Philadelphia " 5 33 " 12 20 a. m.
Fast Line, 626 p. m. 350 "
Fast Mail, 10 38 ••
Mail, 4 21 "
Through Accommodation, 2 35 p. in.
Emigrant, 9 12 a. in.
Through Freight, 10 20 p. m. 120a m.
Fast " 340a. m. 815 "
Express " 11 00 " 2 35 p. m.
Stock Express, 5 00 " 905 "
Coal Train. 12 45 p. m. 10 38 a m.
Local Freight, 645a. m. 626 p. m.
*tf-Galbraith's Omnibuses convey passengers to
and from all the trains, taking up or setting them
down at all points within the borough limits.
GrEO. W. ELDER,
Attorney at Law,
Office Market Square, Lewistown, will at
tend to business in MliHiu. Centre and Hunting
don counties my 26
iLL &
OFFICE or East Market street, Lewistown,
adjoining F. G. Franciscus' Hardware
Store. P. S. Dr. Locke will be at his office
the first Monday sh month to spend the
week. my3l
DR. J. I. MARZS
OFFERS his Professional services to the
citizens of Lewistown and the surround
ing country. Office in the Public Square op
posite the Lewistown Hotel. janl3-6m*
Large Stock of Furniture on
Hand.
A FELIX is still manufacturing all kinds
•of Furniture. Young married persons
and others that wish to purchase Furniture
will find a good assortment on hand, which
will be sold cheap for cash, or country pro
duce aken in exchange for same. Give me
a call o * F alley street, near Black Bear Ho
tel. leb 21
Jacob C. Blymyer & Co.,
Produce and Commission Mer
chants,
LEWISTOWN, PA.
HaTFlour and Grain of all kinds pur
chased at market rates, or received on storage
and shipped at usual freight rates, having
storehouses and boats of their own, with care
ful captains and hands. Plaster, Fish, and
Salt always on hand. sep2
Lock Repairing, Pipe Laying,
Plumbing and White Smithing
THE above branches of business will be
promptly attended to on application at
the residence of the undersigned in Main
street, Lewistown.
janlO GEORGE MILLER.
tsraivTKimtmti
AND
BRAID STAMPING
Done on the most fashionable patterns by
MRS. MARION W. SHAW.
Lewistown, Sept. 23, 1863-
Kishacoquillas Seminary
AND
NORMAL INSTITUTE.
Summer Session of this Institution
I will commence on
MONDAY, APRIL 5, 1863,
and continue twentyone weeks.
Cost for Board, Furnished Rooms and Tu
ition in the English Branches, per session,
S6O.
Day scholars, per session, sl2.
Music. Languages and Incidentals extra.
Jn order to secure roums in the Institute
application should be made before the upon -
ing of the school.
For further particulars, address,
S. Z. SHARP. Prin.
janl3 Kishacoquillas. Pa.
Mt. Rock Mills.
ORDERS
FOR FLOUR, FEED, 4c.,
CAN, until further notice, be left at the
Store of S J. Brisbin & Co., or at the
Hat Store of W. G. Zollinger, at which pla
ces thvy will be called for every evening, fill
ed next morning, and delivered at any place
in the Burough.
G. LEHR.
English Lever Full Jeweled, Detached dit
tor Cylinder Escapements, and all kinds.
War prices, at PATTON'S.
THE IIIITftEL
WOUNDED.
[The following splendid lyric was written by
Rev. Wm. E. Miller, of the Methodist Protestant
Church, residing at Tompkin's Cove, New York.
It was published in the columns of the Southern
Methodist Protestant.]
Let me lie down.
Just here, in the shade of this cannon-torn tree—
Here, low in the trampled grass, where i may see
The surge of the combat: and where I may hear
The glaa crv of victory: cheer upon cheer:
Let me lie down.
Oh. it was grand!
Like the tempest we charged, in the triumph to share;
The tempest—its fury and thunder were there.
On. on. o'er intrenchments, o'er living and dead,
With the foe under foot and the Hag overhead :
Oh, it was grand 1
Weary and faint.
Prone on the soldier's couch, ah ! how can I rest
With the shot-shattered head and saber-pierced breast?
Comrades! at roll-call, when I shall be sought.
Say I fought till I fell, and fell where I fought,
Wounded and faint.
Oh. that last charge!
Right thro' the dread host tore shrapnel and shell:
Through without falt'ring—clear through withayell—
Right in their midst, in the turmoil and gloom.
Like heroes we dashed, at the mandate of doom !
Oil. that last charge!
It was duty!
Some things are worthless and some others so good
That nations who buy them pay only in blood :
For Freedom and t'nion each man owes his part:
And here I pay my share, all warm from my heart.
It is duty 1
Dying at last I
My mother, dear mother, with meek, tearful eye,
Farewell! and God bless you forever and ave !*
Oh, that 1 now lay on your pillowing breast.
To breathe my last sigh on the bosom first prest:
Dying at last!
I am no saint!
But, boys, say a prayer. There's one that begins,
'Our Father!' and then says, -forgive us our sins;'
Don't forget that part—say it strongly; and then
I'll try to repeat it. and you'll say Amen!
Ah, I'm no saint!
Hark! there's a shout!
Raise me up. comrades! We have conquered. I know!
Up. up on tny feet, with my face to the foe!
An! there tlies the flag with its star spangles bright—
The promise of glory, the symbol of right!
Well may they shout!
I'm mustered out!
Oh, God of our fathers! our freedom prolong.
And tread down rebellion, oppression and wrong!
Oh. land of earth's hope! on thy blood-reddened sod,
I die for the Nation, the Union aud God!
I'm mustered out!
MORAL
From the Sunday School Times.
Visit to a Contraband School.
Our camp being situated but a short
distance from Portsmouth, I started
one bright Sabbath morning to visit
the celebrated contraband Sabbath
school, under the charge of Mr. H. S.
Bcales. Jt is held in the Methodist
church, a substantial brick building of
moderate size. It would be a novel
sight to a Sunday-scholar in the North
to look upon such a school. There is
every shade of color in the host of lit
tle laces that meet your gaze; and no
little variety in the kind'and style of
clothing worn by the little ones.
Among the boys the soldier's blue is
the prevailing color. But one thing
would astonish you, and that is the in
telligence that lights up those dusky
faces. I have never seen more earnest
ness or enthusiasm in any Northern
Sunday school.
Several familiar hymns, such as
' Happy Day,' Around the Throne of
God in Heaven,' &c., were sung as an
opening exercise. AH who have hud
any experience in teaching the contra
bands bear witness to their great love
ot music, and their surprising quick
ness v in learning the hymns and songs
that are taught them. The singing
was followed by the reading of the
Scriptures, the scholars repeating the
words in concert after the superinten
dent. The 23d Psalm was repeated
by them most beautifully. Prayer
was offered by a colored teacher. It
was the eloquent pleading of a fervent
heart. Three-fourths of an hour were
devoted to the lessons. In most cases
i his was a simple exercise in reading
the Testament. Many who have had
very limited advantag s have made
most astonishing progress; and all are
exhibiting an eagerness to learn and a
capacity for knowledge that is most
gratifying to the teachers and friends
of the school.
But two of the citizens of Ports
mouth have given Mr. Beales any as
sistance in teaching. He has to rely
mainly upon colored teachers. Some
of these seem to be earnest and effi
cient helpers. The packages of old
Sunday school papers that Mr. Beales
distributed among the scholars were
most eagerly received. Those who
wish to do the freedmen good, can do
much by making donations of interes
ting books and papers. The newly
awakened mind of the contraband is
grasping after knowledge, and of course
the printed page must be the medium
through which it comes.
Previous to the singing of the last
hymn, a few minntes were given for
the reciting of verses. This was an
exercise they seemed to enjoy. At
the close of the school I learned from
the superintendent some facts in re
gard to the condition of the school,
that I will mention for the good of the
cause. The school numbers as high as
seven hundred. Five hundred is the
average attendance. Many are oblig
ed to stay at home for the want of suit
able clothing. This want is confined
mainly to the girls; for the boys are
supplied by the cast-off garments of
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9, 1864.
the soldiers. But the want of warm
winter clothing for the girls is very
pressing.
Dear Sunday school teachers and
scholars of the North, will you not re
member these impoverished and igno
rant thousands of this so long despised
colored race, whom God is now bring
ing out of darkness into light—out of
bondage into the precious enjoyment
of freedom. Mr. Beales' address is,
H. S. Beales, Portsmouth. Va. Barrels
or boxes of clothing and other neces
sary supplies sent to him for the use
of the freednien, will be most thank
fully received and judiciously applied.
NORFOLK, VA. * E. E. R.
Pennsylvania Railroad.
The annual naeeling of the stockhol
ders ot the Pennsylvania Railroad was
held on Tuesday, February 16. The
board of directors made their annual
report, which is very full, setting forth
that during the year 1863, the earn
ings between Philadelphia and Pitts
burgh were from—
Passengers, first class $2,202,778.83
Emigrants 72,757.95 52.275.530,78
U.S. troops 5U.093.10
I S. Mail 75,598.20
Expres.-cs under contract 75.735,00
Extra Express freight 187,393.82 263.128.82
Flight 8,602,261.97
Miscellaneous sources 160.191,00
Total earnings 511.891.412,95
The expenses for operating the line,
such as new buildings, motive power,
machinery, new locomotives, &t\, were
80,780,006.95—1eaving net earnings
$5,111,412,74.
The gross revenues of the line this
year are equal to $33,216 per mile of
main line of road (385 miles,) and ex
ceed in the aggregate those of 1862,
$1,587,121,99. This is made up by an
increase of $544,144,58 for passengers
and emigrants, $135,299,97 for troops,
of $8,824,77 for U. S. mails, of $933,-
812,12 for ordinary, and 8116,276,86
for express freights. A decrease oc
curs in miscellaneous receipts of ©143,-
266,31.
The whole number of passengers
carried over the road during the year
was 1,707,386, averaging a distance ot
64 6-10 miles for each passenger.
The number of tons of freight mov
ed (including 188,913 tons ol fuel and
other material, transported for the
company) was 2,454,325, embracing
903,199 tons of coal. The increase in
the coal traffic is 68,053 tons, and in
the whole tonnago ovex that of last
year 231,275 tons. To meet the in
crease of traffic there has ben expen
ded for new locomotives, new cars,
second track sidings <fcc., $1,647,803,84,
all of which has been charged to the
expenses of operating the road. There
was expended on similar objects in
1862, $1,221,779,09.
McClellan'B Griefs.
The Green Bay (Wisconsin) Demo
crat, an unquestioned democratic pa
per, in an article on this subject, takes
a view which will strike people of
common sense as remarkably apropos
to this officer, whose publication in a
war report of abusive letters of the
Secretary of War, and ill-timed and
injudicious advice on political matteis
to the President, is without parallel in
our history. The public however by
this time is satisfied that no man in
this war can play the politician as
well as General—or if he does, no
matter what force he may have at
command, he will accomplish nothing.
Bead what that paper says, compare
the course of Hooker, Burnside, Mc-
Dowell, Rosecrans, Foster and others,
with that of McClellan, and judge for
yourselves whether the latter is pur
suing the right path :
"What matters it here, in this time of
peril, whether McClellan's or somebody
elso's plans and theories, in 1862, were bet
terr 1 It is precisely of as much consequence
as the question of Grouchy's fidelity at
Waterloo. It is a matter with which his
tory has to deal—not we here in the trenches,
resisting an assault upon the life of a na
tion.
"Suppose MoClellan to have been badly
treated. Shall the earth and the sun stand
still until he is attended to? Give him a
court tuartial, or a committee of inquiry, if
he wants it; shoot him or Stanton, which
ever .s found to be in fault; do anything in
reason that he wants done, but let us go
00, meanwhile, with more pressing and mi
portant matters.
"Joe Hooker had as good a right to growl
and grumble and humph himself up. Did
he do it Go and ask him, down there in
Tennessee,good Daturedlysmokinghiscigar
under the shadow of Lookout Mountain.
John Pope, as brave a fighting man as ever
lived, never had the h indreth part ot the
time, the favor, the patient waiting which
was given MoClellan to do something with
the Army of the Potomac Did he fall
back, glum and cross, aud demand that
nothing should be done until he was
avenged?
"He came from the command of a great
army to a mere Indian border war as gaily
as though it were a holiday excursion Burn
side did not cope with Longstreet at Frede
ricksburg, and was summarily sent away;
but he sought another trial, and gave him
hard knocks at Knoxville McDowell, the
earliest victim of ill-luck, has been vainly
urging ever since, not the endorsement of
his plans at Bull Run, but a command to
lead once more atthe rebel army Rosecrans,
the beloved of all, who was blown out after
the battle of Chickamauga as you would
blow out a penny candle, referred to the
druggist instead of the Government, about
the opium question. Even Scott, the great
est general living, who was set aside gently
but firmly, take? his morning walks in the
Fifth avenue, and if he doesn't encourage,
he doesn't discoerage the attempts we are
making to save the country
"l T p to the advent of Meade, every Gen
eral who has had command of the Army
of 'he Potomac has been relieved from it
under circumstances which they probably
did not regard as flattering. But of them
all there has been only one who has under
taken to inflict l is wrongs—it they were
wrongs—upon the country. That one was
George B McClellan. He asks thecountry
to take notice that not only his military
plans, hut his ideas as 'o the politicts of
the war, are different to those which have
been pursued. He publishes old letters to
the President. He charges Stanton, the
existing Secretary of War. with having
Connived at his defeat and the destruction
of the army He advocates the election
of a man to the Governorship of Pennsyl
vania who declares that the draft is uncon
stitutional. And he permits himself to he
named as the Presidential candidate by
Fernando Wood, the Vallandighams, and
all other dead weights hanging on this war
It is one of the fatalities which seem to
attend that class of politicians, that they
are ruaWng . candidate of that kind. So
long as 'hev keep control of the Demo
cratic party so long will it be defeated."
The End of a Sad Story.
When Lieutenant Colonel Fremantlc. of
the English Coldstream Guards, passed from
Matamoras over to Brownsville, last year,
he says —in his hook recently reviewed in
our columns—that, he was received ve>y
pleasantly at the rebel headquarters, where
he found a number of charming gentlemen
who offered a hearty welcome and unlimited
whiskey He owns that they are a little
rough; they swore a good deal—had some
other vices—but then Ctlonel Freraantle
is a man of the world, and did not expect
to find saints in camp Among these South
ern gentlemen, in whose company he re
lates that he spent some pleasant days, was
one whose name he cautiously represents
by a He was a genial soul, a little
fond of whiskey, and somewhat rude in his
manners, which last mentioned fact was
brought to the English officer's attention
by a story freely talked about at head
quarters, of which Captain was the
hero.
Colonel Fremantle found this story too
atrocious for belief, until the gallant
told him with his exulting lips. It was
the history of how and some other
good fellows caught a loyal Texan officer,
a respectable gentleman, Captain Mont
gomery, had taken him as a prisoner of war
some miles out of town, and there coolly
assassinated him. boasted that, if the
story was doubted his English friend might
satisfy himself of its truth by a visit to the
body, which had not been buried, hut only
half covered; but he must go quickly as
the wolves were at it. The same day the
Colonel was riding out with a friend, when
they came upon the body of Cantain Mont
gomery. They found it slightly buried,
with the head and arms above ground—the
rope still about the neck, and the other end
dangling over the boughs of the tree to
which it had been hanged. Dogs and wolves
had been at the body
The English Colonel was a little shocked
at this—but he remarks that these men,
though in the main good fellows, are pro
bably not a little hot tempered So were
the mutinous Sepoys, though the refleo
tion does not appear to have occurred to
him. He thinks so well of the rebels that
he easily gets over this and other evidences
of barbarism.
Captain Montgomery was a gallant and
loyal Texan, a regulaiy commissioned of'
ficer of the United States forces. He made
his way ioto Mexico over a year ago, for
the purpose of recruiting there some troops
for our army among the large number of
American citizens who had been forced to
fly from Texas to save their lives. His
business was to gather them together and
transport them to New Orleans, where
they were to become part of our army.
While staying at Matamoras he was cap
tured by ;• party of rebels, who invaded
the neutral territory of Mexico for the pur
pose, and was 'left,' as Colonel Fremantle's
friend facetiously put it, in the manner he
had described in his pages.
A private letter from Brownsville, dated
December 14th, tells the remainder of bis
sad stoty.
'Yesterday, on requisition, the Governor,
Serna. arrested and sent to this side a man
named Hamilton, charged with being one
ItaWaSSSWSs SEEHHWIX IPHifSJa
of the assassins of Captain Montgomery.
On Friday a party went down fifteen miles
to where Captain Montgomery was hung,
to bring up his remains, in order to bury
them near the flagstaff at this place They
found the bones of his right arm suspended
in the fork of the tree from which he was
hung; and the rest of his bones (except
the skuii which had been carried off as a
trophy,) buried about a foot deep under the
tree i'hey put the bones together with
his shoes, which were tied, and contained
the skeleton and mould of his feet, into a
sack and brought them to town.
'On Saturday night I happened to call
at Col. B.'s room (Col. li. is a Texan, a
neighbor of C pt Montgomery, and is rais
ing the Ist Texas Regiment tor the Corps
d Afrique)und on my questioning him about
the remains, without first replying, he drew
out the bones up n rh" floor. You can
well imagine what were my feelings when
I saw what remained of a brave and loyal
man—one personally well known to me,
thus suddenly brought beneath my eye.'
We trust the United States author ties
will look to it that, justice is done upon the
perpetrators of cold blooded assassination.
They must be well known among the in
habitants of the border, for they appear to
have been given to boasting of this and
other like deeds. And what can Christian
men think of an English officer—presuma
bly a gentleman—who does no* scruple to
speak of his pleasant companionship with
such assassins ?— X Y I J ost.
The Romance of the War.
A Brooklyn G >r( Killed in (he Battle of
Jjonkoat Mountain—Stranye Jlulluci
nu t >n.
We have just been put in possession of
the facts of a sad case of monomania, which
had a terrible termination A young lady
residing in Brooklyn. New York,about nine
teen yea s of age, about a year since be
came inspired with the idea that she was a
second Joan of Arc, called by Providence
to lead our armies to certain victory in
the contest. The hallucination %vas a
strong one, and a change of scene being
suggested by her physician,she was brought
to Ann Arbor in this .State. Her mania,
however, increased until it was found ne
cessary to confine her to her apartment.
She, however, succeeded in making her
escape, came to this city, and joiued the
drum corps of a Michigan regiment, her
sex known only to herself, and succeeded
in getting with her regiment to the Army
ot the Cumberland.
How the poor girl survived the hardships
of the Kentucky campaign, where strong
uien fell in numbers, must always remain a
mystery. The regiment to which she was at
tached had a place in the division of the
gallant Van Cleve, and during the bloody
battle of Lookout Mountain, the fair girl
fell pierced in the left side by a Minnie
ball, and when borue to the surgeon's tent
her sex was discovered. She was told by
the surgeon that her wound was mortal, and
he advised her to give her name, that her
family might be informed of her fate. This
she finally, though reluctantly, consented
to do, and the Colonel of the regiment, al
though suffering himself from a painful
wound, became interested in her behalf,
and prevailed upon her to let him send a
despatch to her father. This she dictated
in the following manner:
'Mr. No. Willonghby street, Brook
lyn : Forgive your dying daughter. I have
but a few roonent9 to live. My native soil
drinks my blood. 1 expected to deliver my
country, !-ut the fates would riot have it so
1 aid content to die. Bray, Pa. forgive mo
Tell Ma to kiss my daguerreotype.
EMII.T.
'P- S—Give my gold watch to little Eph.'
(Th youngest brother of the dying girl )
The poor girl was buried oil the field on
which she fell, in the service of her coun
try, w iich she fondly hoped to save — Dc
trtjrf Advertiser.
A Nice Girl
There is nothing half so sweet in life,
half so beautiful, or delightful, or so lova
hie as a 'nice girl,' Not a pretty, or a
dashing, or an elegant girl, i ut a nice girl.
One of those lovely, lively, good tempered,
good hearted, sweet laced, amiable, ueat,
happy, domestic creatures met within the
shpere of home, diffusing around the domes
tic hearth the influence of her goodness
like the essence of sweet flowers.
A nice girl is not the languishing beauty,
dawdling on the sofa, and discussing the last
novel or opera, or the giraffe-like creatures
sweeping majestically through a drawing
room. The nice girl may not even dance
or play well, and knows nothing about
'using her eyes,' or coquetting with a fao.
She is not given to sensation novels, she
is too busy. At the opera, she is not in
front showing her bare shoulders, but sits
quietly and unobtrusively—at the back of
the box mast likely. In fact, it is not of
ten in such scenes we discover her. Home
is her place.
Who rises betimes, and superintends
the morning meal ? Who makes the toast
and the tea, and buttons the boy's shirts,
and waters the flowers, and feeds the
chiokeus, and brightens up the parlor and
sitting room? Is it the languisher, or the
giraffe, or the elegante? Not a bit of it—
it's the Dice girl
Her unmade toilet is made iu the short-
New Series—Vol. XVIII. No. 19.
est possible time, yet how charmingly it is
done, and how elegant her neat dress and
plain color. What kisses she distri
butes among the family ! No presenting
a cheek or a blow, like a 'fine girl,' but
an audible smack, which says plainly : I
love you ever so much.' If I ever cov
eted anything, it is one of the nice girl's
kisses.
Breakfast over, down in the kitchen to
see about dinner; always cheerful and
light-hearted. She never ceases to he ac
live and useful until the day is done,
when she will polka with the boys, and
sing old songs, and pi iy old tunes to her
father tor hours together She is a per
feet treasure, is the mice girl,' when ill
ness comes; it is she that attends with
unwearying patience to the siek chamber
I here is no risk, no fatigue that -die *;!!
not undergo, no sacrifice that she will nor
tn-'ke. She is ail love, ail devotion I
have otten thought it would be happiness
to be ill, to be watcned by such loving
eyes.
One of the most strongly marked char
actenstics ot a -nice girl' us tidiness and
simplicity ol dress. She is always associ
a:ed in my mind with a highfrock, plain
collar, and the neatest ot neck ribbons,
bound with the neatest little brooch it
the world. I never knew a 'nice girt'who
displayed a profusion ot r ngs and brace
lets, or who wore low dresses or a splendid
bonuet.
I say again, there is nothing in the world
halt so beautilul, half so intrinsically good,
as a mice girl.' She is the sweetest
flower in the path of lite. There are others
far more stately, far more gorgeous, hut
these we merely admire as we go by. It. is
where the daisy grows ttiat we lie Uowu to
rest.
The Notorious Jiill Harper Killed.—
M >st ot our readers have heard of the no
torious guerilla and bushwhacker Bill Har
per, who has been a terror to the loyal
people of Randolph, Tucker, Pendleton,
and adjoining counties, ever since the
breaking out of' the rebellion. Well, Bill
ilurper is no longer in the land of the
living. A few days ago, Captain Sampson
Srirder, of the Randolph Home Guards,
hearing that Harper was stopping at the
house of Leonard Harper, a relative, who
resides in Pendleton county, took a squad
ot his men and went over to capture him.
They surrounded the house and demanded
a surrender. Harper refused to surrender,
when he was tired upon and wounded.
He still fought desperately, even alter he
was down upon the ground, and is said to
have cut Suyder a severe gash upon tho
arm. When finally conquered and sub
dued, it was discovered that some thirteen
or fourteen balls had been lodged in his
body by Snyder's squad. Harper is said
to have murdered more men, stolen fnore
property than any other single individual
in the State. He was a man ot most des
perate and determined cha'aoter, and al
ways had about hitn a gang composed of
men of similar mould.— Wheeling Intelli
gencer.
j Only a icant of Culture. —An exchange
tells a story of an old usurer who went one
day to see a former borrower, who had
since grown from poverty to indepen
denee They went into the garden. Mass
ing along a walk flanked with flowers of
j great beauty and variety, the visitor made
| no remarks until he Came to s potato patch,
i w! en he exclaimed :
4 My friend, you'll have a fine crop of
j potatoes there !'
4 That's just like you.' said the proprie
tor, 'wher gentlemen and ladies pass
through my garden, they look at the flow
ers, but when a darned tiog comes in, all
j he can see is potatoes.'
taSTOld Murin G was never regard*
I as a paragon of neatness; and if' cteunli
; ness is next to godliness,' as St. Paul &a
serts. it is to be feared that the old lady
never attained to the latter state Not on
I ly was she anything hut neat herself, but
she showed a sovereign contempt fur it in
others. Speaking of neat people, one day,
! "be remarked that her son Josiah was one
of the most particular meo in the world.
; 4 Why,' said she, 4 he threw away a whole
cup of cofft e, the other moxuiog, because
it had a bed bug in it.'
old lady said ber husband was
very food of peaches, aud that was the on
ly fault he^iad.
4 Jault, madam,' said one, ' how can you
call that a fault ?'
4 Why, because there are different ways
of eating them, sir. My husband takes
them in form of braady.'
#L.A tender hearted widower fainted
at the funeral of his third beloved. 4 What
shall we do with him ?' asked a friend cf
his. 4 Let hico alone,' said a waggish by
stander, 4 he'll soon re-wive.'
VU&.A. Dutchman's heart-rending solilo
quy is described thus 4 She loves Shon
Mickle petter as I because he has got a
coople tollars more as I has.'
Fast People. —lf husband and wife are
fast, there is great danger in their case, as
in that of a fast team, that the couolin?
will break.
Tom, who did you say our friend
B. married ?' 4 Well, he married forty
thousand dollars—l forgot her other name.'