Vol \X\VI -Whole \o 1889.
Rates of Advertising.
One square, 18 lines,
I time 50
" 2 times 75
3 " 1.00
" 1 mo. 1.25
3 " 2.50
6 " 4.00
" 1 year 6.(K)
2 squared, 3 times 2.00
" 3 mos. 3.50
2 squares, 6 mos. $5.00
" 1 year 8.00
.1 column, 3 mos. 6.00
6 " 10.00
" 1 year 15.00
1 column, 3 mos. 10.00
41 6 " 15.00
" 1 year 25.00
Notices before mar
riages, S:c. §l2.
Communications recommending persons for
office, must be paid in advance at the rate of
25 cents per square.
J. IV. PAIiKER,
Attorney at JL aw,
LEWISTOWN, MIFFLIN CO., I\\.
OFFICE on Market street, two doors ea=t of
the Bank. [April 12,1850-tf
w. II- IIIWIN,
ATTORN E r A T I. A IT,
HAS resumed the practice ofliis profession
in this and the adjoining counties.
Office at the Banking House of
er, Grubb & Co. Jan. 20, 1648 —tf.
GEO. W. ELDER,
A TT O R N E Y A T L A W,
Lewistown, Mifflin County, Pa.
OFFICE two doors west of the True Demo
crat Office. Mr. Elder will attend to any
business in the Courts of Centre country.
August 25, 184'J—tf.
DBS. .1. 15. tIirCIIELL
OFFERS his professional services to the
citizensof Lewistown and vicinity. He
can always be found at his office, in his drug
store, or at the house of Gen. Irwin, unless pro
fessionally engaged. [March 13, 1830.
15. H. ROACH,
BABBER AND HAIR DRESSER
MARKET STREET, Lewistown, next door
to Judge Ritz's. rnay24tf
TAILORING.
JAMES A. LIL LE ¥
T) ESPECTFI'LLY informs the public that he
has taken the shop recently occupied by
WILLIAM MCFADDEN, in MARKET street, one
door north of Alfred Marks' Drug store, up
stairs, Lewistown, where he will continue the
above business, in all its various branches. He
solicits a share of public custom, and promises
to devote all his time and attention to his busi
ness, and hopes by so doing to merit encourage
ment. He will be in the regular receipt of the
fashions of each season, and prepared to make
his garments to please all who may favor him
with a call. [march 29, 1850—3 m
DOW N, M YNDERSEE & CO.'SCast Iron,
Revolving, Well and Cistern Fumpp.—
An assortment of these highly celebrated and
cheap pumps daily expected. All information
in regard to capacity and service of these
pumpa will be given by
F. G. FRANCISCUS,
Sole Agent for Mifflin county.
IiANCY GOODS.—Port Monnaies, Pocket.
1 Books, Cigar Cases, Shaving Boxes, Note
Paper, superior Sealing Wax, Steel Pens, Fen
Holders, Stamps, superior Percussion Caps,
Snuff Boxee, Motto Wafers, superior white
Envelopes, do. browg do., redding and pocket
Combe, superior Shaving Brushes,do. Hairdo,
Tooth and Nail do., &c., &c., for sale by
J. B. MITCHELL.
I/ewistown, march 22, 1850.
IT WILL CURE.—When you havcacough
or breast complaint, sret a bottle ot' Dr. K.
P. Green's Sarsaparilla, Tar avd Cherry
Pectoral. It has cured persons in Lewistown
and vicinity, which can be testified to. It does
not nauseate the stomach, and isplettsant to take.
Price only 50 cts. per bottle. For sale at
A. A. BANKS'
apl'2 Diamond Drug Store.
STORK'S CHEMICAL HAIR INYIGORATOR.
TO prevent BALDNESS and DRAY HAIR, restore
the hair when it has fallen oft or become
thin, and to cure effectually scruff' or dandruff.
Roogscl's Ean Lustrale Tonique Hair Restorative
For cleansing, beautifying and presetving the
hair, and for the promotion of its growth ; pre
venting failing oft of the hair and baldness.
[mylOj For sale by J. B. MITCHELL,
GREAT EXCITEMENT
ABOUT
lieu jam in IlinliUtV* I'atcul
liiaHtic Bottom
a-t" r-:n-i ' Ij J
.MANUFACTURED AND SOLD BY
A. FELIX,
At the Lewistown ('heap Cabinet Ware Rooms,
WHERE the article can be seen at any
time among his large 6tock of other
FURNITURE of all descriptions. The fol
lowing testimonials from those who purchased
and have now in use,or had the bottom put into
Their old bedsteads, will speak for themselves:
CERTIFICATES :
This is to certify that I purchased twenty
pair of new bedsteads with Ilinkley a patent
elastic spring bottom in, am well pleased with
them, consider them a good article, and would
buy no others. I would recommend them to
all persons, as they arc easily screwed together,
end cen be kept cleaner than any hitherto made.
JAMES ALLISON.
I concur with the above and consider it a
good article for tavern keepers and others.
THOMAS MAYES.
We certify that we got A. Felix to put 11.
Ilinkley's patent bottom into our old bedsteads,
and that they answer the purpose exceedingly
vo-11. We consider it a bedstead that can be
Srept much cleaner from insect p. screwed up
firmer than fcny others, and recommend thwn
to the public.
DA YD BLOOM, JOHN f LARK,
JEKMAN JACOB. D- SPNPEBI.ANO
I evyiatown, Hpril '?u. 16"0 —if
JMBHSJEIBIB ±sm ntsTtßansssnKE) JBT ®J3®iE©ia
Selling- off at
AND
NO MISTAKE!!
INTENDING to relinquish the Dry Goods
business in this place and engaging in other
pursuits, the splendid stock of Goods now on
the shelves and counters of
MSB 111 BROTHERS,
comprising, in great variety, all the leading
articles usually found in n carefully selected
stock, and a considerable quantity of
FINE GOO I)S
not always to be had, vviil be sold oil AT COST.
As is weil known, we have always sold CHEAP,
and as the stock was purchased RIGHT —we may
say without boasting, as low as any one could
have bought it—it will be SOI.D RIGHT. The
selection consists of
Fancy A Staple Wry Goods,
Such as Fancy Fruits at ail prices. Ginghams,
Checks, Alpacas, De Lames, Men noes,
Silksof all kinds, and a genera! assort
ment of Ladies' Dress Goods.
Cloths, Cassimeres & Satinetts.
Jeans, Tweeds, Kerseys, Flannels, &c.
lileaclied A Brown Jl(i*liu,
Ticking, Shawls, Ribbons, Laces, Capstufls,
Fringes, Gimps, Hosiery, Gloves, Suspen
ders, Combs, &c &c.
UOD'JfiS MD 311 DM,
READY MADE CLOTHING,
Together with a good and general assortment of
GROCERIES.
Oct?*' Should any one be desirous of purchas
ing the whole stock, it will be sold a bargain.
The stand is a good one, and in such case pos
session would be given in a short time.
P. IS.— All persons indebted on the books are
earnestly requested to call and make settle
ment on or before the FIRST DAY OF
J USE JSEXT , as after that date the}' will bt
placed in the hands of an officer lor collection.
GREAT INDUCEMENTS TO
FIIHE subscribers having purchased the stock
A of goods lately owned by t\ L. JONES
at a heavy discount on their first cost, now of
fer them at the same stand, at
PHILADELPHIA PRICES,
in order to close them out. This stock has
nearly ait been recently bought, and is well
selected, and as it is the desire of the present
owners to run it off in the shortest possible time,
Cash Buyers
will have such an opportunity for
GOOD BARGAINS
as rarely occurs. The assortment of
LADIES' DRESS GOODS
is very fine, embracing a SPLENDID LOT OF
FIGURED, PLAIN, CHANGEABLE AND FOULARD
8 I L
llandsostui Rarcgcti, French
Lawns Gingham*, i'tiiil*.
Fringes, Gimpi*, At', Ac.
The stock also of
BONNETS, SHOES, PARASOLS,
BONNET TRIMMINGS,
is large and desirable, and can be had at
, —c
Fngli**h & French
BROAD CLOTHS, •
CASSIMERES, SATINETS,
Wim MDI BWJIJM*
HOOTS & SHOES,
AND
can all be bought at first cost.
MERCHANTS wishing to replenish will
find they can do better by buying from this stock
than by going to Philadelphia.
Apply soon, as tfie store will be kepi
open but a short time.
A. SIGLEU & CO.
Lewistown, may 3, 16>0.
A NEW MEDICINE!
BROWN'S ESSENCE OF JAMAICA GINGER,
VVEKY valuable preparation for persons
recovering tioin fever, or other diseases,
a few drops imparling to the stomach a glow
and vigor equal to a glassful of brandy, orotlier
stimulant?, without any of the debilitating ef
fects which are sure to follow the use of liquor
of any kind ; and it is therefore especially ap
plicable to children and females. 'J'othcaged
it will prove a great comfort; to the dyspeptic,
and to those who are predisposed to gout and
rheumatic affections, it gives greut relief; and
to the inebriate, who wishes to reform, but
whose stomach is constantly craving the nox
ious liquor, it is invaluable—giving tone to the
digestive organs, and strength to resist tempta
tion, and is consequently a great agent in the
cause of temperance. For sale by
I. 11. MITCH KM*.
Lewistown, March 22. 150.
FRIDAY EVENING, JUNE 21, 1850.
Choice Extracts.
WROYG MOT THE LABORING POOR.
| lit EEENEZER ELLIOT, OF SHEFFIELD, ENGLAND.
| Wrong not the laboring poor by whom ye live!
| Wrongnotyourhumble fellow-wonnsye proud,
j For God will not the poor man's wrongs forgive,
j But hear his plea, and have his plea allowed.
O be not like the vapor, splendor roll'd,
That, sprung from earth's green breast, usurps
the sky,
Then spread around contagion black and cold,
Till all wiio mourn the dead prepare to die!
No! imitate the bounteous clouds, that rise,
Freighted with bliss, from river, vale and plain,
The thankful clouds, that beautify the skies,
Then fill the lap of earth with fruit and grain.
| Yes! emulate the mountain and the flood,
That trade in blessings with the mighty deep !
Till soothed to peace, and satisfied with good,
Man's heart be happy as a child asleep.
SELFISHNESS Of HRISTIAY.
Live for some purpose in the world.
I Act your part well. Fill up the measure
of your duty to others. Conduct your
self so as that you shall be missed with
sorrow when you are gone. Multitudes
of our species arc living in such a manner,
that they are not likely to he remembered
a moment after their disappearance. Thev
leave behind them scarcely any traces of
their existence, but are forgotten almost as
though they had never been. Thev arc,
while they live, like one pebble Iving un
observed amongst millions on the shore ;
I and when they die, they arc like that same
pebble thrown into the sea, which just
ruffles the surface, sinks and is forgotten,
without being missed from the beach.
They are neither regretted by the rich,
wanted by the poor, nor celebrated by the
learned. Who has been the better for
their life .' Who has been the worse for
death ? \\ hose tears have they dried up '
whose wants supplied ? whose miseries
have they healed ? Who would unbar
the gate of life to re-admit them to exist
ence ? Or what face would greet them
back again to our world with a smile'
Wretched, unproductive mode of exist
ence ! Selfishness is its own curse—it is
a starving vice. The man that does no
good, gets none. lie is like the heath in
the desert, neither yielding fruit, nor see
ing when good eometh ; a stunted, dwarf
ish, miserable shrub.
We are sent into the world to do good ;
and to be destitute of public spirit, i- to
forget one-half our errand upon the earth.
—llev. J. Jl. James.
FARMER BLARE'S FIRST LESSOV.
When I first went to live up at the
Grange, Farmer Blake took me into the
fields to talk to me. I was young then,
quite old enough to understand what lie
said.
" My lad,'* said the farmer, '• if \ou are
to learn farming, and we are to go on tidily
together, either 1 must teach you or you
must teach me. Now, as 1 happen to
know more than you, it will be but rea
sonable that 1 should take the lead, and it
will be time enough when you are wiser
of the two to alter the plan."
Farmer Blake said this in a kind tone
of \oice, but the firmness with which he
spoke, convinced me at once that his word
was to be a law.
44 on have picked up a little knowledge
at the school house," said he, * 4 and now
you must try to pick up a little at the
Hrange Farm. The first lesson that 1 will
give you to learn, is this— a little at a time,
and go on. Almost all great things are
done on this principle. The rain from
the skies comes down in little drops, and
the snow comes down in little flakes ; yet
both of them, by going on, cover the face
of the ground."
44 Look here," said Farmer Blake, stop
ping at a bush, on which a spider was
weaving his web, 44 see how the little crea
ture is employed. First he fastens one
line, and then another, without wasting
his time by idling between, and it ill not
be very long, 1 am a thinking, before lie
catches his fly. The weaving spider, is
following the rule— a little ut a time, and
go on
What Farmer Blake said appeared so
very clear to me, that I wondered the same
tiling had not occurred before. But the
farmer determined to impress his first les
son deeply in my mind.
On turning'round a corner we came sud
denly upon a woodman, who was felling
an elm tree, and the dry chips flew around
him as he denied his lusty stroke with his
axe. 44 Oh," thought 1, 44 the farmer will
be at rue again now, about his first lesson ;"
but no, not a word did he speak. I saw,
however, that his eye was now and then
fixed upon me. Though the •woodman
did not appear to get on very fast, yet by
I repeated strokes lie made a great gash more
' than half-way through the trunk of the
tree ; and not long after down came the
j elm with a loud crash.
Farmer Blake walked on in silence, and
1 was silent too ; when suddenly he said
to-me, 44 Well, in) lad, what are you think
ing of ?" "1 was thinking, sir," said 1,
44 that the woodman has brought down the
tree, by doing a little at a time, and going
on ." 44 Just as 1 expected," he replied ;
44 and now I see that you have learned my
! first lesson."
When left to myself I thought over
everv word that Farmer Blake had spoken,
and felt sure not only that he was the
wisest man I knew, but also that I could
not do a better thing than attend to his re
marks. In the course of that day I could
hardly look around without seeing some
object which brought before me Farmer
Blake's first lesson. A Bricklayer was
building a wall near a cottage ; a shepherd
with his crook, was climbing a high hill;
and two men were filling a cart with grav
el. By laying a brick at a time and going
on, the bricklayer would build the wall ;
by taking a step at a time and going on,
the shepherd would get to the top of the
hill; and by throwing a spadeful at a time,
and goir.g on, the cart would be filled.
Many have i known who were not sat
isfied with doing a little at a time ; they
must needs do a great deal, haste to be
rich ; but they fell into snares, and their
riches did thein no good. And some have
I known who were very zealous in holy
things, but they did not go on. Oh, it is
an excellent thing to feel that we are de
pendent upon our Heavenly Father for all
we have, even our daily bread. I feel my
self much wiser than 1 was before.
I lived many years at the Grange, and
have great reason to be thankful for the
many useful lessons that the honest farmer
taught me ; but not a single dav of all
these years is belter remembered by me
than the first day that I entered on the
farm, and not a single lesson is raor deep
ly impressed on my mind than the very
first that he taught me.
1 know that Farmer Blake in teaching
me his first lesson, intended to apply it es
pecially to farming ; but 1 have learned to
apply it to other things. Thousands would
have been benefitted had they understood
and practised the lesson with humility—a
little at a time, and go on.
AN IMMORTAL CHILD.—Those who have
lost an infant are never, as it were, without
an infant child. The other children grow
up to manhood and womanhood, sad sui
ter all the changes of mortality ; but this
one alone is rendered an immortal child ;
ibr death has arrested it with Ins kindly
harshness, and blessed it into an e.ernal
image of \ outh and innocence.
ivi f ft C C 4 \ a U f 0 U .v ,
A RUE FOR LIFE.
Presence of min i is a life preserver
which, although net or patented, is not to
be possessetl by all men. Presence of
mind is the power of maintaining the op
erations of the mind in the midst of dan
ger, and against the assaults of fear and
surprise. It is invaluable to the possessor
as a personal safeguard, and gives him the
power to protect the lives of his fellow
men.
As an instance of this latter power, we
will relate a little incident told to us by one
who had seen much of the world in vari
ous lands. He was at a port in the West
Indies. With two friends he went down
to the water to bathe. W hih: he remained
upon the shore and his companions were
sporting with the waves at a considerable
distance, he espied an enormous shark
making straight for the unconscious swim
mers. The first impulse of a hasty and
inconsiderate person would have been to
alarm tire bathers, by loud outcries of
danger. But our friend knew that such a
course would, by frightening tin in, deprive
his companions of all power of escape.
He therefore preserved his unconcerned
appearance, and playfully shouting to them,
bantered them to a race, and to increase
the rivalry between them, promised the
one who should first roach the shore a
slight reward. Nothing loth to try their
powers of speed, the two swimmers struck
out for the shore with all the swiftness at
their command. All this time the shark
had been silently Hearing his prey, and as
they turned for the shore he shot through
lire waves with increased rapidity. The
race for life, unconsciously on the part of
the pursued, was now fairh begun. The
swimmers strained every nerve in their
friendly rivalry, while yet the shark gained
rapidly upon them. Our friend upon the
shore, although inwardly tortured with
anxiety, still preserved his calm and sinil
ing appearance as he continued to throw
out incentives to increase the speed of his
unfortunate friends. They wen still a long
way from the shore, when one of them
showed signs of fatigue, and was appa
rently about to relinquish the race. That
was a moment of great agony for our
friend. Still he preserved his presence of
mind, and shouting encouragement to the
tired swimmer, induced him to continue
the contest for the victory. On came the
shark, nearer and nearer, his fins flashing
in the sunlight. The swimmers approached
the shore; the shark was so near his vic
tims that he turned upon his back to he
gin the work of death ; our friend rushed
into the water, and dragged his amazed
friends upon the bank, pointed to the
baffled sea monster, now lashing the
waves with his fins. Then the swimmers
comprehended the imminent danger from
which they had escaped, and one of them
fell fainting to the earth. They never
forgot the unconscious race with the shark,
nor that it was to the admirable presence
of mind of their friend that they owed
their lives.— Portland Transcript.
A A ORIENTAL EMBASSY.
On the 25th May, his Excellency Gen
eral Jung Bahadoor Koorman Ranagee,
Prime Minister and Commander-in-Chief :
of the kingdom of Xepaul, situated on the j
borders of Thibet, arrived in England, as
ambassador extraordinary from the King j
of Nepaul to the Queen of England, lie I
came from Egypt to Southampton, by the j
steamship Ripon. His suite consisted of
twenty-four persons, and he was charged
with a letter from his King to Queen Vie- j
toria, and with presents,of Nepaulese man
ufactures, worth nearly a quarter of a
million sterling. 'I he travelling expenses
of the embassy to England, were nearly
£IO,OOO sterling. They are all Buddhists, '
arid to avoid contact with Christians, had
the whole of the fore cabins and saloons
of the steamer exclusively to their own
use, and there they fitted up their own
cooking apparatus. The General is a
handsome oriental, very dark, 32 years old,
and a great man in India. lie dresses
magnificently, and his manners are said to
be polished and graceful. When they
landed at Southampton, they would not go
to a hotel, but occupied the Peninsular
offices, and had their cooking apparatus
erected in the yard. They are verv mys.
terious about their cooking and eating.—
They are continually washing; fond of
smoking, and of all oriental habits of lux
urv.
The London Times has a letter from
Alexandria in Egypt, which describes some
of the animals intended as presents to the
Queen of England. They had all safely
arrived :
The steamer Ripon takes to the Zoologi
cal society the llyppopotamus which has
been waiting in Cairo for the hot season,
and a collection of animals and birds,
among which are an Ibex from Mount
Sinai, a Lion, a Ghcpard, two Linxes, an
Ichneumon, some Civet Cats, and a variety
of Serpents, Lizards, and Desert Rats.—
A young Giraffe was also to have formed
part of the collection, but it was unfortu
nately drowned in the canal after reaching
Alexandria.
The llyppopotamus, being only 18
months old, is comparatively small, and
lives exclusively on milk, its daily cori*
sumption being about 80 pints, for the fur
nishing of which several cows have to be
kept on board. It is very tame, and al
lows itself to be freely handled by its
Arab attendant, whom it follows, and an
swers to the name of Ghebbaysch, an isl
and on the blue Nile, near the seventh cat
aract, being between Senaar and Fazoglu,
where it was caught. It is a male speci
men, and Abbas Pasha, the Viceroy, has
issued orders to procure a female, which
is expected to arrive here after the rise of
the Nile, in about three months' time, and
will also be sent to England. Preparations
for the conveyance of the 1 [yppopotamus
h id been made at Southampton, on hoard
the Ripon, with a convenient iron tank,
holding about 41)0 gallons of fresh water,
which it will require to be renewed every
other day to bathe in.
This is the first Ilyppopotainus that is
taken to Europe alive, and it is to be
hoped that it will reach England in safety.
Sonte of the attendants of the embassy
are thus described :
Among them were two African serpent
charmers : one of the latter was a lad, a
strange little shrivelled faced fellow, who
caused much amusement by his comic
manners, his grotesque dress, and daring
handling of the beasts and reptiles. In
each of his ears were two brass bed cur
tain rings, his trousers did not reach below
his knees, and lie wore a pair of large
Wellington boots. His legs and boots ap
peared like two mahogany posts in a pair
of leather buckets. He played with and
i teased the most savage of the beasts and
reptiles with the most daring intrepidity,
but the most extraordinary performances
of this youthful charmer were with the
venomous serpents, at the request of the
Admiralty agent; and for the trifling back
shcehs of a silver sixpence, for which he
■ made a profound and slave-like salaam, he
exhibited his power over the serpent tribe
to the writer of this notice when he went
on hoard the Ripon in Southampton Docks.
lie took out the Cobra Capellas from a
box. fondled with them, kissed their heads
and mouths, held them in his mouth, irri
tated them apparently to madness by
scratching them on the back, and eVcn
i suffered them to bite him without experi
encing anv apparent injury. It was a
i singular sight to see one of these serpents
irritated, standing firmly on a small portion
of his tail, while the body was forming
I graceful curves, and it was preparing to
spring upon the hodv with its mouth open
and fangs quivering.
A RICH JOKE. —An Irishman went a
fishing, and among other things he hauled
j in, was a large sized turtle. To enjoy the
surprise of the servant girl he placed it in
her bedroom. The next morning the first
that bounded into the breakfast room was
lliddy, with the exclamation :
4 Be jabers, I've caught the divil!'
4 What devil ?' inquired the head of the
house, feigning surprise.
4 Why, the bull bed-bug. sure, that has
j been atein' the children for the last two
months.'
ach *eriew--Vol. •!—l\o. S3.
T.IE MICO.VS HY!H!f BOOR.
<>ld Deacon H. was one of the best men
we e\er knew. lie hail been deacon in
the church for many years, and unless pre
vented by sickness or remarkably bad
weather, never allowed his seat, to remain
vacant. His wife had been dead for years,
and he was left with two hoys—Joe and
Sam—who, at the time we speak of, were
respectively fourteen and sixteen, and ripe
for any kind of mischief. Tin* - were in
all sorts of had scrapes, and kejf. the good
old father in continual trouble. living
firmly in the passage of Proverbs, " Spare -4
the rod and spoil the child," he never
failed to lay it on thick, but without effect,
for notwithst tndiiig these flagellations, they
were acknowledged to be the worst boys
in the village. Among other things, Joe
was very fond of practical joking, and loved
particularly to play oft' his jokes 011 the
old man. In these aftairs he was always
assisted by Sam ; and Joe would, in a ma
jority of cases, manage to get the young
scamp between him and the consequence"
For rears the deacon had worn a bJF
cloth coat to church every Sunday, J .
the pocket of said coat there was
kept a hymn book, which, after bejp
on Sabbath, was allowed to rem f
pocket until the next meeting j
was well known to Joe, who was re, £
to have a joke at his father's
The coat hung on a peg behind Uta
and he took occasion one day durf
old man's absence to remove thdL
book and place in its stead a pack oq
which were about the same size. I
it happened that Deacon 11. was thef
man in the whole congregation who!
raise the tunes, and as he was the v
deacon, he had a seat immediately*
the pulpit, and in plain view of the 1
congregation. * -
Next Sunday he put on his coat, felt the
hymn hook (as he thought) all safe, went
to church, and took his usual seat. The
minister arose, gave out the hymn, and a -
dead pause ensued. The whole coiigiega
tion turned their eyes on the deacon to see
why he did not start the tune. What was
their surprise to sec in his hands, instead
of his hyinn book, a pack of cards ! The
young ones laughed, the old ones looked
grave, while one or two old sisters ex
claimed in a rather loud tone, " who'd a
thought it." But how acted the deacon ?
Poor man—as much confused as any one,
he dropped the cards, seized his hat, and
rushed from the house.
The next day he was called before the
church to have the matter satisfactorily
explained. Joe got thoroughly drubbed,
(he couldn't get Sam into that scrape,) and
never after did the good old man start to
church until he was certain that it was his
hymn book and not a pack of cards in his
pocket. \^_
A prisoner being brought up in Court,
the following dialogue passed between him
and the sitting magistrate :
4 How do you live V
4 Pretty well, sir—generally a joint and
pudding at dinner.'
• 1 mean, sir, how do you get vour bread?'
4 I beg your worship's pardon ; some
times at the baker's, and sometimes at the
grocer's.' -
4 You may be as witty as you please, J
sir ; but I mean simply to ask, how do
you do V
4 Tolerably well, I thank vour worship t
hope your worship is well.'
GOOD RETORT.-*— We picked up a
good anecdote the other day, of an old
Methodist preacher, who rode a circuit a
few years ago. While going to one of his
appointments, he met an old acquaintance
who was one of the magistrates of the
county. He asked the minister why he
didn't do as the Saviour did—ride an ass I
44 Because," said the divine, < 4 the people
have taken them all to make magistrates
of."
The editor of the Si. Mary's Beacon
says that he is so badly poisoned that one
eye is closed and he can hardly see out of
the other. He has also the cow-itch, and
says that six men and a bo\ could not keep
his hands sdl'i.
An Irishman coming from a convivial
meeting, considerably bewildered, and see
ing the houses and everything else going
round in a queer manner, concluded that
the easiest way to get quickly home, was
•• to stand still till his own door passed him,
and then make a dive for it."
Don't get in a fluster and ffoop.a buster,
nor allow yourself to terrified be ; buLjktfPTr'
a cool head, and never be led, to join an a /
hurrah and spree. | J
A suspicion is afloat that persons wh|
cannot eat mince-pies without brandy, cai
drink brandy without mince-pies.
Thompson's C
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