,.aVSiL2L
'Advertising Rates
" For Legal fcToti oos.
Tlio following prices for legal adver
isingTias been apoptcd by't'bc'CAnrjojf
.DVOCATE.
' Chartcr.Nollcos
Affdlto'r'if Notices
1 'Cdulmls'sfoneVs Notices
J Divorce) Nollcci ,
Administrator's Notices
Executor's Kollco
& 4 ,
- - 4 oo
4 00
3 00
- 3 00
Other legal advertising will bocharged
for by the square.
H. V.Uetthirfl!, Jr., Pucllshcr.
irfjn'NErs and councellors.
ppOKACE IIKYDT, - -
ATTORNKY AT LAW,
Or'ricKi The mom recently occupied by
W, SI. IJapshor,
Hank stiibl-t, lkii'ioiiton, ta.
May be consulted In English and Octman.
Jaly4,dU-Jy - -
M. KAP.S1IER,
ArXKNHY It COtTNOr.Lt.OK AT LAW.
rifearfcooti niiTK thk uassion iiousk,
MAVUII cilVSkf PSSlfA.
Ideal Kit ale and Collection Axoncy. Will
lluy nnd-Sell Heal Lalata.f I'onvt-ynnc nic
neatly dime. Oollectlons promptly made.
Settling relate of I'ecclrnts a Sieelnlty.
May be consulted In Enxllsh and Uurman,.
" -imenrbtF ,"1S 4." ' "
T,
A. SNYDER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
'Is-ricu Corner of Hank Street & Hankwny
and building above tbe I'atbou Advocate
Pricing atftlco. '
May 10. 18S3-mOJ LnillOUTON.
EV.MDRTr.IMEI., Sr.,
jQ-TARY PUBLiy
u DPlriaE:',.bVQCATK BUILUINlS,
Sankway, Lehightori, Penna
' Atf'liHslncss pertaining to the office will
receive r'impl itetitiiu. 16.
.PHYSICIANS AND DENTISTS.
D
It. W. TV. ItEllEIt
PHYSICIAN AMI BT'nriKON
HAMC.S'TItLLT. LKIIKH1TO.V, PA.
IFFIUE Hours at ParryVlllel'rorn a.m.,
to T2m. dally,
tay be, consulted In the. English, or Herman
Language. . " May 17. '81..
A. IfERIIASIF.lt, M !.,
physician ajjnscitonov
Sprttal Attention paid toOhronlo Dleaaea.
Orriin. South EnM Ibuner'Irwi and
f-cennd Streets, "
LKIIIU1ITON, PEN.N'A.
April 3d, Ittt.
TST.
jt. liEIJElV M. 1).
IT' S. EXAMININO SUROF.oy,
rnACTIOINO I'llYRIIJlANA. SUKUKIIN
Office flank Street, KKiiMt'a Hlock.
LEllIIIITON, I'KNN'A.
yiy be consulted In the.Ueriuau Language.
Wot, ' , ' ' . , ,
-Yy" 1. U. SEIPIiE,
PHYSICIAN AND SUR'iEON,
SOUTH' STnEET, . LKIIIO HTON, I'A.
Mar be consulted In I-'ngllrh or Herman
Special ntlcntlun V'vn io (I-vnuomhiv
Omrts Horns From 12 M. to 2 I", M
and from t to I'. M. March St. Kl
r, A. Rabenold, D.D.S.,
BRANCH OFKlUU-UppuailcClaussStUro'D
Bank St., Lehighton, Pa
Dentlbtry In alt Its branchet. Teeth ex-
iraeieu waiioui pain. iiu nnitiiui.ieri:ii
when -renueated lllllce Hays W KltN hS
DAY ol eieh week 1. 1 1. Addrets,
ILITZENMEUO, LehlKh county, Pa.
Jan. 3, is My.
W. A. Oortright, D.D.S.,
OFFICE : Opposite the "umadway House,"
Mauoh Chunk, Pa.
Patlenta have the benefit of lie latenlm.
froTemeuti In rao'banlul appliances and
he best tnethn li ortreatmcnt In all surxlel
tases. ANESTHETIO ndinlnUtered II
jeelre !. If ios. I,K persons residing outaide
if Uaueli Chunk should make eiig.u(i'mcnis
by mall. 1 1 S-Tl
EYE AND'EAR.
DR. G. T. POX
Visits Allenlown regulnrly on THURSDAY
nfoieli week. I'motice limited tt
Diseases of the Eyo & Ear
Oftiraal llayilfu's Ameruian Hotel, ar.il
I'ffie. hours Iron. II in the foretmon until
3:3n in the Hfiern tnn. Also attends to Re
traction f the Eve l'ir the proper adjust
ment of la.se., Hiid,fir th relief ami cure
rf oplic'il defects
Mxv hi be consulted at Ills nfhVe In
I1ATII, Wednesday ami Saturday ef each
week, at UAMiOll cn Monday, ull'l al
EAH TON on Tues-lay, an 2 KR y
HOTELS AND I EUtY
QARBON HOUSE,
JONATHAN K1STLER, PROPRIETOR
Hank St., Leiiioutoh, Pa.
The (liiDos HouaE offers first-lass accom
inutlatlons to tbe Traveling public. Hoarding
by the II iy or Week on Reasonable Terms.
Uholce Ulnars. WlnoJ and l.louors nlwavon
band. UoadHlieds aud Stables, with atten-
tlye Itoitlars, allaelie-1. April 10-yl,
Jp.VCKEltTON HOTKI..
I I way between Mauch Chunk & Lehhchton
LEOPOLD MEYER, 1'BOrRUTOE,
Packerton. Penn'a
This well known hotel Is admirably refitted,
and li is tbe betatcorainodatioiis lor uerman.
inland transient boarders. Excellent tables
and the very beat liquors. Also tine stables
tttacked. bcpt.lt-Yt.
D. J. KISTLEIt
tteatiectlally anuouncs to the publls that be
baa opened a NEW LIVERY ST All LB In
sinnetlon with his hotel, and Is prepared to
furnish Teams for
Faierals Welte or Busiuess Trips
on absrlfit notice and most lltxraliarms. All
luuera leifcai toe-UAroon House" will rocelye
prompt atteqllon. Stable on North Street,
til tie bettl LtliljhioB. snTl
fct v i wirt nsssv n
II. V. MoitTiiiMKit, Jr Publisher.
VOL. XIV., No. 21.
Thomas' Drug Store.
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Physicians Perscriptions
Carefully, Compounded
T. J. BRETiNEY,
Reepcctf-'lly announces to the mcrchnntsof
LelillitoD Hud ot tiers ttiat lio li prepared to
iloull kinds of
Lluuling of Ficight, E.xpiGss
Mutter and Baggage
nt wry rfnsoniibto pr'ces. ltyjirnntpr at
irntlun to all nrdrrs tin hope (tt irivrlt h vlhire
ol pubtlo piitpiTiH,.'!. Utsli.cnco. coiner ol
1'lnu und 1 1 on St reei, LehlifliU n, Pa.
i trders lor h . u I i n ic left ut 1 1. M. .wreny 4t
,Son'3tiluro will rocL'IVfc j romi-t attention.
T. J. UltKl'NLY.
Oct. V-M59I 3:n.
Sale Bills !
Printed while yon wait. Wo
have Ix'tlcr facilities than any
other office in this countv lor
this work. Give us a eal
X CONVEYANuKIi,
AND
QF.NERAL INSURANCE AOEKT
Tbe following Compinleaare KapreKented:
bKHA.s s mutual rinu
I'.KADINO MUTUAL Fill 3,
wyomo Finn.
ronyviLLE rtr.K.
LlilllGIl I' HE, nudtho
THAVEI.EHS ACCIDENT INKllltANCE
Also l?nuYlvanln and Mutual IIor& Thief
ctectiveand luuruui-o Coinnauv.
March H71
I IIOS. KKHKHEH.
Ea F. LUCK EN HA C IK
DK ALER IN
Wall Papjdws,
Borders & Decorations,
Books, Stationery, Fancy Goods.
Window Shades & Fixtures,
Latest Styles, made and pat up. If dealrca.
Pnints, Oil, Varnish, Putty,
Brushes & general Painters'
Supplies.
No. 61 Broaflway. Mancb dniiik, Fa.
Helow the llroadwav Iloii.-e,
ffrJSpULINTIlN URtrNEY.Iashlonable
lli.O Hoot nnd Sims Ma Kan, Hank fit.
Lehlnhton. All work warranted.
J" IIIUlVilAN & CO.,
BANK STB.EET, Lehighton, Pa
11 ILL Kits aud Uealeia In
Mour and Feed.
Ill Kind 1 of aitAIN iiOUOIITcud bOtD
It ICO U LA It MAItKET HATES
Wewonld.also, icspitllully Inloro onro1t
tut lint wenie now fgly I'lf lmud to hU
LY them with
The Best of Coal
Krorn any Mln desired at VED
kLO"EST riuqRg. ,
if, itol?iaV& 00,
rf. tj Qa bP v
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S . tmz WH1 AU tLSlffAHS. W
la Jlehti'ouchByrim. Ta.siMBiHd. fi
Lr Usalutinie. riltlby drtcirlata. til
Tlio e'ergy, you may bavc noticed,
nrc mucb moro forclly reminded of tlio
"uncertainly of life" tlietia mlllldnalic
dies sudJenly than wben a poor man
drops dead. ..
The Spring Months
Are undoubtedly tlio best in which to
purify the blood nnd strengthen the sys
tem, because ut this time the body Is
most susceptible to Iho benellelal ellccts
of a reliable medicine like Hood's bur
eaparlll.i. Tlio feeling of debility, lan
guor, aud lassitude, caused by tho
changing season, Is entirely overcome,
and bcrol'ula and all htlmorS are expel
led from the blood by tbu poweiful in
vi Ingaiid purifying lutluenccsof lloo.i's.
Sarsapurilla.
Do not delay Take Hood's Saraap.t
rlll.i note. It Is made by C. I. liood &
Co., Apothecarli'3, Lowell. Mass. fcii,ld
by all druggists. 100 doses ouo dollar.
Nurse to young husband) "lam
glad to announce, sir, that you huVo a
beautiful, bounding sou." Young hus
band (very excitedly) "Er buy or
S gill." ,
e may be sure that our consciences
are rebellious when they are mute in us
(mutinous).
Thousands Say So.
Jlr. T. N". AlkiiH, .fJirard. Kan.,
writes: '! never hesitate to recommend
your Electric Hitters to my customers,
they give entlro satisfaction aud nre
rapid sellers." Electric Hitters are the
purest and best uicdieiiiu known and
will positively euro kidney and liter
complaints. Purify tbu blood and regu
late the bowels. No family can afford
lo b'i itliout tliiim. They will save
hundreds of dollars in doctor's bills
eveiyvear. Sold at 00c. a bottle by T
U. Thouias.
A llltle trlrl was snat 1 .it. Ilin trtldn
opposite a gentleman 'with a waxed
mustache. After ia . i 11 rr at for sn
voral minutes, she exclalmud: "My kit
ty has got smellers, too."
What are Sup;)osatoricsl
A. G. It jse, of New London, Conn.,
writes: ".Send mu two bottles of your
Kemp's Pile Suppo3.itories by mall.
Our dm 'tlst is out. Tluy are for a
friend. I tiled everything without help,
but Hie Suopisaijriuj cured mu."
1 no tie.nmaiiu is new an'J with 11
reach of all, and would advise the af
fected to give them a trial. I'or pamph
lets on piles address Uox !iiW, Le ltoy,
N. Y. For sale 111 Lehighton by Thom
as, and In Welssport by Ulery, at' SO cti.
per uox.
Dr. Hammond riredictstlutathoiis
and years hence all persons will Le
luld, and yet some folks think Mormon -Ism
Is already gasping for breath.
A Eelilghton girl says a boau on
.he arm is worth two on tbe hat.
Dr- Trailer's Itost Blttors.
1'razler's lioot Uittei-s are not a dram
lm;i Ii?vuww. Hut are strictly medl-
idnal In uvery sense. They act strongly.
tpon tiie. liver aim Kidneys, ..Keep the
howcls open'and "regular,- clcuinsc the
bloj 1 an I systcin of uvcry Impurity.
50KI uy drugjists, iji.uu. .it iJiomas'
drug store.
Society is lust like pie. There is
in upper cni3t an 1 lower criijt, but the
real strength Ilea between lllelll.
A glass of cold water taken every
morning before breakfast will keep the
stomach in order.
Eucltlea's Araica Salve.
The best salve hi the world for cut?.
bruises, sore3, ulcere, salt rlmem, fever
sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblanlls,
corns and all skin eruption", and posi
tively cures piles, or 110 pay required,
it Is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac
tion, ormoucyivfun led. Price 25 cents
per box, at T. V. I nomas'.
A recent song has the following re
frain: "Oh, hug inocloscr. closer still.''
Of course there are frequent rests to
give a fellow a ch.uieo to comply,
How often you see a country tavern
with the sign liatiging outside on 1 lie
Inn side.
When a man Is "light-headed" it I-
no sign luni'iip is m ilium.
Dr.T'razcr's Majic Ointtnnt.
A sure cure for all bolls, burns, sores.
cuts, llesli wounds, soru nlppje. liar
and soft corns, eliaiipod lips and hands,
Price 30 cents. Sobl by druggists. Wil
Hams M'f'g. Co., Prop's., Cleveland
O. bold by Thomas, the druggist.
Heigh objects to people drowning
dogs In tho Croion aqueduct. . Ho I
right. Very fnirjitetly the water In tin
Crotou 1s not lit for a dog.
A soft job-
-shaving a young man
for the liist time.
That hacking eough can bo so qniekly
Cttri'il by billion s l me. Wc gtiarantct
it. ur. 1.. 1. itorn, Leiiiuiuon, mu
lllcry, Wcdsspoit.
When a man dies 'In tho. Society
Islands they paint Ills holy, but in this
country tho character Is the thing that
Is frescoed.
The American joke lias been form
ally introduced into dapam.
Will you suffer wilh dyspenIa and
liver complaint? Shlloh'a Vitlllzcr is
guaranteed fo euro jou. Sold by 0. T
Horn and W. F. Ulery.
"All men are born free and orjtul,'
but the dilrtculty Is that some arc born
equal to half a dozen others.
TI13 household cure fur sudden pains
stitch, cramps and soreness, is the Hop
Planter. 25 cts.
Love is a passion which frequently
comes we know not how, and It quits
11$ in the same manner,
A growing evil your next door
neighbor's squalling baby.
Sleepless nlghfs, made inl;.erablu by
that terrible cougu. billion s (Jure
the remedy for yon. Sold by Horn
Lchlghloii, and Ulery, elsspoit
The Salvation Army is gradually
taking possession of all tlio Jails in the
country.
','1'ra welt backed wun silver," as
the looking glass said.
If you have a cold, cough, bronchitis,
or any form of throat or lung disease,
do riot neglect it Ayer s Qherry Pec
toral, if promptly taken, 'will speedily
relieve) and cure all ailments of this
cnaracter.
If sconce Is golden what a valuable
misfortune lockjjaw meat be.
A political expounded lithe chap
who sails cimnaiga lies.
INDEPENDENT"
LEHIGHTON, CAKBON COUNTY,
t?rwn m t 'i ii as i vis tsa s 1 1 vr
"V" Oreatet Cnn cnrlrtii for rain," WllllS
rohoTernora qolcklr than any othrr known rcro-S
k iJTix f'lyi llhounvxtiwn.' Kcnraarla,!
bwelUnes. btu iec'r, IruCfSB
A-jT-, . 3v Barm, Bcalds Cutj. LimlifK
'?JS3i 5ir7,-,Tlouri"y.?otoillwUtca,B
IniraTtVl Ki JlaekacBo, Oidn rti Sore Throat, R
VaiyVV iSanclatlca, t.'ounat, lleaaeche'K
JWSiSr TpotfcatiB. fpralns a I'rlcoP
IS!j-J?'-"v"ln, ft'oKoa c;l bears oarPt
. - " rrjlatircd Trnrte.J.'ar!r, tad onrg-
fiehr'to elrajtare. A. jrer ia, f3olcg
liJpritora. caltiroore, .tL, o, b. A. K
DR. BULL'S mm 8YBBP
Fcrthe care cf Conpha, Coltls, Iloarco
r.;;s, Crpu, Actea, L.-oschitfe,
Whoop-nj Cot:-,.il l2cij:!cnt Coa
sai?'.:on, cr.d I.r tho relief cf con-EU-rjtira
ricriona in cdvar.ccd tinges
of 11:3 Dlrxisc. Tcr CilotytU L?rus
gists. Price, 23 ccata.
THE TWO APEIL MOItlNNOS.
11 Y WILLIAM Wo.lDSWOItTn.
e walked id mis, whtlj brlijlit and red
UmtiM the nitirnlhrr Mini
And Matthew stopped, lie looked, and said.
"Ilia will ol Uodbe done!"
. village schoolmaster was lie,
Willi hair of clitTei-iiii- irray:
As. Llllu a njaii ns jou cpuld ite.-.
On a siimis holiday.
And 011 tliat morions. Ihrouali the crrss
Vnd by thii slealiiliii; rills
We tr cited merrily, to nass
A day anion!; the Mils. .
'Our work," said 1, "wa well b-;uii;
Then from thy breast what tlimishl.
Ileiicatlitobi'aiitlhd a stm.
Susad asljjli lias broiiilit?"
second time did Matthew stops '
And. (Ixlm:. still his ec-
Updii llie rastern liionnt.'ilii top,
To me he made reply 1 1
Vim clmid Willi that Innj; purple elelt
I'.rJUK fresh Into my inliid
i day like fils, which I have lort
Pall thirty ye trsbjjilii J.
Ami Just above yon slope of corn
Such colors, and 110 oilier.
Were In the sky Unit April morn.
01 thlsliinvciy brother.
Willi rod mid Unci sued the sport
Wh'eh that sweet season gave,
), coiiiliiulo the church, stopped short
lljsldu my daughter's gsare. '
'.S'lin1 tumniers had she scarcely seen,
The ptlile or nil. thc-v.il.-i, v
vnd then she saniTf-i-h? would have been
A ery nlshtiiiKalc.
'Sly. feet n otulli my Emma layj
Andiet 1 hived her inori-- '
Pur mi it seemed tlran till tli.it day
jI e'er had loved hef rtrc.-'' ' - '
-.ft- -, --" .
'nd. turning from ltcrgnnc. I met
lleslde llie ehiirelijardyew .
A I.I loinlng gil l, w hose hair was wet
'Villi points of inornliig dew.
' A basket on her head she bare;
Ilea blow was smooth and white; -To
see a child so very fair,
It was a puie di llcht!
"No fountain from Its rockveavo
E'er IriPM'il with foot so free: '
She seemed as happy as a wuvo
That dances pu the sea.
"There cauie from 11m n tlgh otpaln
Which 1 could ill eonllnci
1 looked at lur, and linikrd ngainj
And did not wish her iiiliiot" -
Matthew is In ids grave, jet now
Mclliiiiks 1 see hnn stand
As at that moment, with a bough
Of wilding In his hand.
OUR SOUTHERN BUDGET
FttoM ouit Special CfiisitusroiniuKT.
iQunn:n.N Pt.Nr.s. N.C., April 1.
Away up in the Pennsylvania moun
tains wjiere lliu sparkling Lackawanna
prepares to nuke Its linal sweep onwtird
to tbu broad bosom of the noblo Susquc
hanna, lives an antiquaiian wlio is also
a local historian. His heart is large
enough for four ordinary men, and hois
In every sense a child of Nature. . I am
referring to Dr. If. Holllster. of Provi
dence, Pa. Four or live yoars ago lie
became paialyze.l from his hips down,
and ho was foreod lo give away his
Iroiit lines nnd lili basket wlifiSH, 'out
side of- Ids family, were his dearest
treasures, 1 shall ne er forget a remark
he made' one warm Aju-il day after 'Ills
a'llictlon, when i assisted hlm'tpttach
the sunny porch of his uillcejin his
wheel clialr. Ho sal :
"The lirst cry of a new-born. I(i'ut is
said to bu the sweetest music!:! mother
ever heard; whllit the sound if tbegurg
llngnd pi ishing of a inoiiiiialif stream
is said.t.o be tiie essence of meloXy to a
trout Hibernian; dearer to mc, it h'ftiif .
than cilher of these is the first soiVvl of
the peepers in tho early spring."
The sound lias- been heard at interials
for the past three mouths down herein!
here the giftod'yct afllicted Doclor wdihl
llnd a right royal musical treat. Tie
little chaps have been treated to a frosty
temperature on' several occasions; bd
lliey from pow on will hate tlings tlii-lr
own way, 1
This renrlnils me that in tlijr im'tural
' liomc, the low .wet places, lnaf be found
a species of cane or ice J thatcn he used
for fish poles. There Is a brtjtalsoth.it
grows there. It bears a scatct berry,
grows very long, and is calledlirainblc!
It is in reallly the sweet brlq th'e root
ot which is esteemed to hlghy .for the
tnantifacturo of brier-root pipe.
Human nature Is alike the w rid over.
The man In the North looks, otitii or
Wost and sees greener fields : ml more
golden opiiorlunltles than he il-'S about
his own neighborhood. If his 1 od judg
ment be as keeu as his pcrcep in, lie Is
on the right track. Cdtiditioi being at
'all. favorable, - those who set e in new
countries, If they only hat enough
stick-to-it -about them, matery better
their tondllloni. . This isnpt 'nly
proved by contemporaneous jtjtory.bu
we can gq clear back to the days whoa
Live and Let Live'
PA., SATURDAY, APRIL
$acq'b; aruj-Esau for fear that n.y read
ers ma not know whom 1 mean I w III re
mark thdt'thls little story may be found
111 a book called the Bible had a Utile
dlillculty, .and Esau "went West" to
grpw up with the country." In after
yeats Jacob got lonesome with Ids two
wives, and also got a little "down ou his
iuck," and ho concluded to hunt up
Esau and do tho "squarcthlng by him."
So hii -packed up bis wives and his catllo
aud lificksj tho "hired girl" fixed his
shirts and darnod holes In his socks.o'nd
aftcr-powde'rlng and coiling his ambros
lal locks, (as they used to do iu those
days) Hie wliolo lot of them set out to
hunt up Esau, After traveling several
days they 'learned that they wcro near
their destination, and they also heard
that Esau was coming to meet thoni
with a whole lot of men backing him
ud. This tuado Jacob get "pale about
tbe gills," for although a Good wrestler,
he wasn't very great ou a fight. He
was a pretty good politician, however,
and he resolved to strike Esau silly with
a pretty good present. So ho tingled
out some cows, some camels, tome
sheep, some goats, and other annuals
that he had In his tralu, and made them
up lu separalo droves, giving tho driver
of each drovo Instructions to keep the
droves apart, and what to say to Esau,
When the procession was rer-dy to start
It looked something Ilka this:
00 o o o 0 Zttitlcr
This .must have made a very pretty
menagerie parade as it passed over the
plain, excepting that there wcio no
cages with men lu them, and 110 steam
piano to bring up in the rear.
After a time the procession mil Esau,
who Inquired after their business In his
land. As soon ns he found out that his
brother Jacob was back of the whole
show he rodu back to see him. Jacob
told him that be had sent the droves
ahead as a little present. And then I
think I can sec Esau grin as he tells
Jacob to keep his cattle, as he has more
than lie knows what to do- with him
self, t
The point that T wanted to make Is
that 'Esau took advantage of new sur
rounulugs and opportunities, and finally
got th be bigger, richer, and moro pow
erful than those he left behind him.
Tills leads mc tip to the point I started
fro-u. While thero are 11 i i s a d miles,
and mile of uncu tlvatid lands, Ian Is
covered with the finest timber, lands
underlaid with mlnerah that some dav
Vill tupply the marts of the world, yet
it .1... I , T...V
mens is .iiiu usual iiumucr. 01 norm
Caroliiilaus , who want to go farther
Sotr.ji, 'or West, .or somewhere. Thty
go. jThcy apply themselves a little clos
er In! their new homes than they did lu
thcijj old ones, and the result is that
they' soon af better circumstanced.
.WO-P.K is the kcy-noto of success Suc
ccjt Is not a chestnut that drops down
after tho lirst hard frost for the special
benefit of some particular squirrel. I'll
tcU',yoit what I would do If I wcro now
livhg Iii the North. If I became dis
consented with my surroundings 1
woildn t go off like a very dangerous
guil, haIf-coeked,but I would go and see
forimysclf. I wouldn't depend on the
woM or say-so of anybody. Any man
wlu can afford to pull up stakes and sct-
tlijin a new country, can certainly afford
tyspend from twenty-five to forty dollars
ffr investigating. If I w cut to one ran
if North Caiollna and wasn't exactly
ijuitcd, I would hunt upa moie favorable
bcation. The State Is large. It cor.
tdiis many acres of laud for sale. It
otcrs all the inducements that can be
dfeied by any Western Stale, and many
hducemenls that no' Western State can
dfer to people from the Eastern and
fiddle States. l P. Woodwabd.
6HIHB0NES MAKES A SPEECH,
1 It was a calm and peaceful Sabbath
Doming. Tho sycamore trees that
diaded the, old school house of the Afrl
can population of West Hoboken were
waving gently in the afternoon breeze,
while the song of bees rose sofllv from
the tw o or three ragged hollyhock bushes
In the garden
With a silence deep as that of crea
tion's dawn brooded. Tho wholo
school whs tn an attitude of attention,
for llrotlier Slilnbones Smith had bet n
Invited to address the children. On be
ing Introduced by the principal, the aged
ag arose, and, mopping tho perspira
tion from his expansive brow, made a
courtly bow.
'Mv young fr'cn'sand fcllah-clllzens,'
he began, 'I hain't gwlne fur ter tole
jo'datdis am du proudes 'cation ob
my life, 'case it hain't. De proudest
lime dis hyar ctillud pusson ebber
ktiowcd war w'en he come back from
an official wlslt ter do State's prison
down ter Trenton, an' war reccibed at
de depot by a hadiulrlng delergation ob
his breddern. Els hyar 'caslon am tfo
litd 'proudest ob my life, De second
war do fust time me and my ole woman
had a rumpus, and I don? knocked her
clean trough -tie back doah wid a aged
hatmbont. I'se como hyar for de pup
pose oli globing yo' young folks a few oh
de results! ob a long exper'euce 'raong
Finuers and republicans.
"'Jaln't alius de dog wid de biggest
tall wot does de most wagging. No
luoah am it do man wot has de biggest
mpuf docs de most talking. A $2-kItch-eii
wertch. wid u mouf no blggcr'n a.sil
bequahtrr, could talk de lungs out ob.
Senator Ebbarts.
'Wen a man am short, he weans Ids
coat long. Dat am a facie in natral his
try, aud likewise in Wall street.
'De man wot owns a fast boss and a
million ddlahs kin git around Central
Park faster-danl kin; but dar"s one
!jib.0 1 iin guv ter jess ez quicK ez ue ,
kin. and dat's de pooah-house.
Lioan't make up yore mind dat yo'
know moah dan yore fftdder till you git examining It. gave her the money it insure length of life. Not if the neigh
to be older dan he Is. Den yo' kin tete called for, At Hie same time, he tisked ' bors know how to tue their hotgon,
'"d ' H -M,ib.t the C Aitnox Advo.
W fur Urn' tt a down's joke wotyor -
$1. 00
10, 188G.
If
knowed bofoah he war bohn.
'Doan't monkey wid yore inudder on
wash-day. Dat am do day w'en female
angels Jay off their angoliCncss fur du
lime being. I hab knowed chlllcn ter
lose a good deal ob dclr activity by not
minding dis advice.
uoan 1 steal cuickcns on a moon
light night. A man kht shoot a gun
Jess cz well by d shlnln' ob de moon cz
ho kill by de light ob de sun. Walt till
de cloudiest night yo' kin gltjdcnsuatch
'cm silly.
'Doan't grumble and kick all do time.
Jess recommoinber dat a common, ord'
nary, ebberyday inule kin kick de lm-
mawtal soul out ob do most onhappy
man dat obbah war bohn.
'And doan't be too durned cheerful,
nelder. An ole brack tea-kc'tle, and
nulling Inter It but water, kin slug ez cf
it nebbah knowed a mlnuto's (rouble.
'Doau't-vpto wldout finding out which
side am bound fur tor carry do 'lection.
Dat's de sldo dat w 111 pay yo' do biggest
price.
'Ef yo cbillen '11 jess tako dece hyar
solid brickbats ob wisdom, and treashah
dem up In yore hearts cben from do-
rising up ob de sun ter do roosting ob
do chickens, yo' won'', hab half so much
trouble In dis hyar wuld ez do most 6b
us hab had. But dis hyar aged nlggah.
whoso pocket hab been puttv ulgh
emptied by paying do lino ob his wife
fur knocking out Mrs. Parsimony Hlg-
glns, am willing ter bet all dat he's got
left dat not a durn oncry pickaninny ob
de whul caboodlo ob yo' will obbah pay
do least bit ob attention Icr de olo man's
toot.'
And then thero wa? another yawning
chasm of silence, during which nothing
was heard but tho breathing of a cross
eyed pupil who had the asthma.
CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASE3.
A farmer hired a man to help work
the farm. One summer day, when la
bor was very scarce, tbe two men were
mowing In tho Held, when several larks
flew up.
"Look at those big cranes," said the
hired man.
"Those nro not cranes; they ate only
larks," replied the farmer, somewhat
surprised.
"If you don't say that they aro cranes
I'll knock off work tight now," said tho
hired man.
As the farmer could get nobody at
that time to tako the hired man's place
he was obliged to yield to the whim of
the menial.
"Yes," said the farmer, "I seo now
that they are cranes, but they are not
big cranes, -they aro only half grown
cranes."
Tho hired man was satisfied with
this concession.. Some months (after
ward", the hired' man still being In the
emoloymerat of the farmer, the latter
said at dinner one day, as he pourtd out
a glass of water:
"Hero is some very fine beer."
"That's no beer; that's only water,"
replied the hhed man.
"If you don't say it is beer you can
tender your resignation, tor I don't
wan't any offensive partisans about the
place."
The hired man knew very well that
he couldn't get anothcrsltuatlon at that
time of the year, so he tasted tho water
and cheerfully Indorsed tho administra
tion, saying:
"Of course it's beer, but it hasn't got
much body to it."
Having thus convinced the president
that he was sound on tho goose question
the hired man was allowed to retalu his
position.
A HANCOCK STORY.
During the trial of President Lin
coln aass'iss'tu .Ixty-five men of tlieOth
W. Va. Cavalry wore divided up Into
squads of four or five, and assigned the
duty of guarding the members of the
military court, then trying Mrs. Surratt
and othcis. Tills escort to and from
the court room was thought necessary
011 account of tho many threatening
letters tceelved by tho members of that
court.
A certain corporal, with four men,
was ordered to report at Gen. Hancock's
headquarters, In Washington City.
When tho corporal entered the geneial's
presence lie was surrounded by a number
of officers, and upon making his re
port, General Hancock ordered him
to take a scat, ana pointing to the door
of an inner room, said:
"When Gen. Holt comes out of thai
room, follow and guard him wherever
ho goes."
About three hours afterward, when
the crowd of offices had left the general's
prosencc.be turned round, nnd seeing the
corporal sitting there grim as death', he
shouted at hlin:
"What tho h J are you doing there?"
"Waiting for General Holt, sir," salut
ing. "Gen. Holt left here two hours ago,"
replied Hancock,
"Eegyour pardon, general; no general
officer has left that room since I have
been here."
"Why, General nolt Is in citizen's
clothes."
"That may be, general; but there nro
a d d sight of men in this town In
citizens' clothes that I don't know,1'
nuswered the corporal.
Tho general laughed good-naturedly,
and told hlin to return next dly aud he
would point out Gen. Holt, who was at
that time adjutant-general of the United
States.
KISSES BY MAIL.
A young postmaster of a village post-
olllce was hard at work, when a gentle
tan Was Leard linon thn lnnr nnri In
stepped a bashful maiden of sixteen,
with a money order which she desired
cashed. She handed it, with 'a bashful
smile, to theoUlcial, who, after closely
on tie margin oHhn order
a Year t Paid in Advance.
not paid in advance, $1.2n
"No, I have not,". sho replied, "for I
cannot make It out. Will you please
read 11 for me?"
Tlio young postmwtcr read us follows
"i send you three dollars nnd a dozen
kisses."
Glancing at tho bashful clrl. ho said
Now, I lmvo paid yon tho money nnd
1 suppose you want the kisses."
"Yes," she said, "if ho lias sent mo
any kisses, I want Ibem, too."
It is hardly necessary to say that the
balance of tho order was promptly paid,
in a scientific manner at that, and
eminently satisfactory to the country
maiden, for sho went out ot tho olHco
smacking her llpa as if thero was a taste
upon them sho had nover encountered
before.
After sho arrived homo she rennrkod
to her mother:
"Eh, mother, but this post-oflico eys
torn of ours is a great thing, developing
moro and moro every rear, and each
new feature sccni3 to bo the best.
Jimmy sent ttia a dozen kisses along
with tho money order, and the post
master gave lue twenty. It beats the
special delivery system all hollow."
A XtEAL MBS PABTI170TOH.
Washington society has boon enllvcnud
this season by the presence of a lontt
fide Mrs. rarington, who halls from one
of the Caroliu.is, but spends her winters
at tho national capital. Tho lady in
question has more wealth than brains
or education, nud somo of her sayings
arc related with great gusto by her
friends, In whoso presence these slips of
the tongue are tn-.ido. Not long since
some new acquaintances In social
fashion in llie evening. After an ex
change of greeting tho visitors spoke of
having been urged to call thu3 Informal
ly by her husband, whom lliey had met.
"Ah, yes," responded Mrs. Partington,
"my husband is so sorry not to bo able
to seo you, but he Is totally decomposed
this evening." The effect of this re
markable statement on the part of tbe
hostess was ftl first rather startling, un
til It dawned upon tho visitors that she
had meant to convey tho Impression
that her husband was Indisposed, and
had chosen for this a word which she
Imagined sounded moro elegant.
At another time, speaking of her
travels abroad, Mrs, Partington men
tioned with enthusiasm that the "chef
d'art," which she remembered with
greatest pleasure was the "Dyiug
Gladiolus."
THE SMALL BOY.
HE MAJIES Lire A ntJKDKX TO BIS IA-
Tir.XT AU2TT.
One day I sat In a car seat on the Sa-
ugus branch of the Eastern road behind
a pale, careworn lady who was taking a
little boy from Boston to Maiden. As
tho little boy was of a very inquiring
mind, and everything seemed t.o attract
his attention, I could not help listening
to some of his questions.
" hat Is that, auntie?" tho little boy
commenced, pointing to a stack of hay
on the marsh.
"Oh, that's hay, dear," answered the
careworn lady,
"What is hay, auntie?"
"Why, hay is hay, dear."
"But what Is hay made of?"
"Why, hay is made of dirt and water
and air."
"Who makes It?"
"God makes it, dear."
"Does ne make It in the day time or
iu the night?"
"In both, dear."
"And Sundays?"
"Yes, all the timo."
"Ain't It wicked to make hay on Sun
day, auntlcV"
"Oh, I don't know. I'd keep still.
Willie, that's a dear. Auntio is tired."
After remaining quiet a moment little
Willie broke out:
"Where do stars come from, auntie?"
"I don't know; nobody knows."
"Did the moon lay 'cm?"
"Yes, I guess so." replied tho wicked
lady,
"Can tho moon lay eggs, too?"
"I suppose so. Don't bother mc!"
Another short silence, when Willie
broke out:
"Eenny says oxlns is an owl, auntie;
is they?"
"0, perhaps so!"
"I think a whale could lay eggs don't
you, auntie?"
"0, yes I guess so," said tho shame
less woman.
"Did you ever see a w halo on hlsnest?"
"0, I guess so!"
"Where?"
"I moan no. Willie, you must be
quiet; Pin getting crazy."
"What makes you crazy, auntie?"
"Oh, dear! you ask so many ques
tions." "Did you ever eec a little fly oat su
gar?" "Yes, doar,"
"Whoro?"
"Willie, sit down on the ssat and be
still or I'll shake you. Now, not an
other word!"
Aud the lady pointed herflngcr sharp
ly to tho little Loy, as If the wcro going
to stick it through him. ' If she had
been a wicked worn she would ha vo
sworn.
There are eight million little boys like
Il'illle In the Unltod State, epd half as.
many in England.
A standing Invitation Get up.
We disapprove of broom drills. Tho
average woman, can wield a broom too
well already.
It has been asied, why is a doctor
like a mole? He Isn't, Moles dig their
own holes; the doctor employs a under
taker. A Philadelphia man has discovered
that the steady chewing of garlic will
cat -nl 91 m v,1r
The Carbon Aea.. 3
Au tndepepdent I'amilv
Published ovory sA'll h: r .
Lehighton, Carbon U ., 1 a. ' .-'
ii.timr v. moiti ni,Mi..i.
omcE-EAIiWAY. a aLoit 0 -k..s h.vV
the I.ohlsli Valley It L.
Terns: $1.00 rtiiiiiii in Linm
nvEtiT DEscnttuox or rui.s .vd wvi.r
Job Pr i n t fira
AT VE11Y LOW 1'blU-a.f. 1
Perfect. Hair
Indicates a natural nuil .eat:x ;,.-.i,.1"j
tion of tlio sculp, nnd-td ijn,' j.Utnit
through which nourishment m.l,iinc.;
YVhui, m roiisciiiie.Iu'ii tI 1.' .- ait. 1 i1,-
rsTBO, the hair beculiiet Wi.i,., Uni. -s-1
:nt,v, Ayer' llulr Vlu w.l' -.'.,.
:t, restore its original .cvh,!, j u- iy
rapid mid vigorous growth, i'.oM.T
to It tho liiHtro and frcshiuHi ,; ,i,..f,
I have used Ajer! llii.r "VTt'n: I... r
toug time, mid am intuit, ., 1 e
value. W'lu'ii I mtl")tn-! ,. s 1
hair began in turn gray. - 1 1. n.v
using lint Vigor, nnd was w,u
tho guild efWM It pKs'11. ' Ii mu'
only restoipsi the color to i I Id 1. 1 .
10 stiiimhilud ii ginwtli. i.,.c J l,,v,t
now more hair than u,'i fie.i-ic -
J W. Edward. Coldwatef. :?.'. ,.-
iyer's Hair Vigor,
Sold by el. Drueslata and IV.'. '.v-t
Ir too Ann scrrcnixa ircm iVbliii.r
and los3 of iippcllte, if yom -.4u." is
out of order, or your mind ...iir
lahoAycr'sSaraaparilla. Tht? n.v-' . tn
will rcstoro physical forco ;m e..-dli.l,.
to thn system, more surely am. -.pi-cOsy
thtiti any Ionic yct'diM-oVtrCii.
For six tnuiitha I sufferi'd f hei
add stomach tumbles. Mj food ul u:
iiMinsh tnc nnd I .lmunu wu.it. iml
vury much iniiU-iatcd. I ltxil.hU l.idtli s
of Ajer's Karsapanlld. nnd wns ouml,
J. St. Puhuvr, Springfield, Ma.
Ayer's SarsapafiJIa,
t'icparcd by Pr.J.C. Avtr&Co.,Luwv!l, lti.,
80M by Ilrut'itlata. Price 61; lt bottk.., fS.
No Patent No Pay,
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Cnnlfs ot patent f nriiialiert fur Sic. each.
ZW- Correspondence solicited. Jcor.
Fcr Coliz.
I -t
Fcr Croup.
For ttcuralgta.
For Rhcumathm,
Doctor Thomas' Fctectr.'t OH.
' Spnt Finr Doltars
In coetorlnf- for theumsturl btlore I tried
TAemat' Jlefectrc Oil. UicdaiM-al bottle of
this medicine, ed cot out in oas S4eU I or buru
SS .Ptlini.'t.i eaccllent." Jw. iurUni, Lat
rnbbniLe, N, Y.
04
Vou Can Ilcponil On It.
'Tr icicro Tootbscbe vt L'sur.iela r' tHe
htad I uiad Tk.mt' PtLilris lliL
culawly. lb but thing I evcrT.iicv lor lb- r-.
1 iv mmii di any Kino, i ng liou.e IS never i
fih;" M- A. M. tfraak, iuiper Slrca,
IJutrjo, 1., y.
100
nponkK Itlglit l'n.
" IIse tried Ttmej' gtUtlric af for rr im
tad oddt, and find 11 tU best ir. .c, r 1. c
ocr esjd In say fasatly."
Ave., Buflalo, N. V.
Wcr.ay, s'io Ilypuuia
H1B-. s .rsy
5 sp O
30
.... , Vr,,cd Wondera.
"My i!au;l.lr u.i vary bad rff oc rbntnf
a cold ad paw u her lunjs. lir, ti4n-u' e
iectrtt Oti fu rta I I t ... ajy. A j rj, C a
tt ll C 1 u. fyrct . I ,0 r . . . tte.
COO LaS rl.-J '-a I I l .
-Wa.t.:.. .,Laki f-,;