Advertising Rates
For Legal Notioos.
The fcMowtng pricos for legal adver
dtlng hat been apoptcd by the Caiuion
Advocate.
Charter Notices - - - $4 00
Auditor's Notices - - - 4 00
Commissioner's Notices - 4 00
Divorce Notices - 4 00
Administrator's Notices - - 3 00
Executor's Notice - - - 3 00
Othor legal advertising will be charged
for by tho square,
TL V. Morthimsr, Jr., Publisher.
ATT011NEYS AND COUNCELL011S.
H
ORACE IIEYDT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Orrirm The room recently occupied by
W. M, liapsbcr,
BANK 8TREET, LEHI0HT0N, TA.
Maybe consulted In English and German.
Jul7 4,U5i-lj
KArSllF.lt,
ATTORNEY fcUOtlNOELLOK AT LAW.
FIRST DOOR AtlOTK THE UOSION HOC8K,
MAUCIt CHUNK, PENITA,
Ural Estate and Collection fluency. Will
Hay and Soil Ural Estate, t'onveynnc nu
nsstly done. Collection promptly made.
Pittllng- Estates of Hcccdcnts a Specialty.
May be consulted In Enxllsh and (Juruiuu.
November 22, is 4,
rp A. SNiBEIt,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Ulrica-Corner of Hank Street it Hankwny
lad bulldlnic ahove tUo Carbon Advocate
Printing Oniro.
May 1, U8Sm' LEIliaHTON.
WirSlCIANS AND DENTISTS.
j-n. w. w. keueu
PHYSICIAN ANIi BUBO EON,
BANK STREET, LEIIHHlTON, PA.
'JFFlliE Hour t l'arrjvllle Irom a.m.,
to l'i m, dally.
,ly be comulted in the English or German
Language. May IT, '84.
A. DEUII.UMi:!!, n 1).,
PHYSICIAN ANDSUIIUKOV
Eptelal Attention paid to Chronic Diseases.
Orrion South Enid (ininer Iron and
Second Streetr,
LPH1UHTON, I'ENN'A.
April 3d, 1614.
n. nr,m:it, m. i.
IT. S. EXAMINING SURGEON,
PHACTHJINtJ PHYSIUIAN&.SUIUIEON
timer Mink Street, llKinli'n IIlock.
LEHIU11TON, I'ENN'A.
NV hei-MHsulted In tbo Ucrman Language.
Not. 3 Hi.
PHYSICIAN AND SUIWEON,
UTU STREET, - LEI! MHTON.'PA.
lav be consulted In English or Orrninn
Special attention jilvin to llimiionv
Urnei! llnpnn From 12 M. to a I". r.t.,
and from 8 to V P. 91. Idnrch 31, S3
F. A. Rabenold, D.D.S.,
UBANOIl Or'FlUE-UiposiloUlauss& Uru's
Bank St., Lohighton, Pa
Dentistry In all Its branches. Teeth ex
tracted wltbuut pain, l )i odoilnlstcred
when renurntcd tllllce l)a)H u LDM.S
DAY ufe.irh week. 1'. tt. Addict.
L1TZENUEUQ, Lehigh county, Pa,
Jan. 3, IS 5-ly.
W. A. Cortright, D.D.S.,
OFFICE : Opposite tlio "nnwdway House,"
Mauoh Chunk, Pa.
ptlnn have tho benefit of tho latest Im
nni.in,ni lii ttiHi-li.uilTtt antillanrca and
tU hell raethn Is nriroatmciu In all surgical
eases. ANliS l HKl l" auminificreo u
desired. If pusalble, persons residing outside
or Mauch Chunk, should m.iko ongaicemonts
by mall. liS-yl
EYE AND EAR.
DR. G. T. POX
VIsllsAllentmvii rrRnlarly on THURSDAY
of earli week. Practice limited to
Diseases of the Eyo & Ear
Office at Hnyileii's American Hotel, nr.il
olSo) hours Iren. il in tho forenoon until
3:3(1 in tho afternoon. Also attends t It"1
(ruction of tho Eve lor I lie iinitur si.tjuvt
tnriit of classes, mid for tUo rebel and cure
cif optical defects.
Mny also tio consulted et his office) in
HATH, Wednes'laf and Sutiirilny of each
wrek. t IIANliOlt ru Muiiday, und ui
KASTON on Tuesilav. juti 2 Rll ly.
HOTEt.S AND JEIRY
QARBON HOUSE,
JONATHAN K1STL.ER, PltOPniETUR,
Hank St., IjEhiohtox, Pa.
Thi flAiiinK HonsK offers Itrst-classaccom
modatfons to the Traveling public. lioardinK
by the Hay or Week on Reasonable Terms,
llholro (Mirars. Wlnoa and l.lnuors alway" on
baud. Uood Sheds and Stables. Willi atten-
tire Hostlers, altaebed.
April 10-yl,
pACKEKTON HOTEL.
llway between Mauch Chunk & Lehlghton
LEOPOLD MEYER, PnoenitTon,
Packerton, Penn'a
This well known hotel Is admirably refitted,
and hts the best accommodations lor ueriuan-
nt and transient boarders. Excellent tables
and the very belt liquors. Also flue stables
attached. Sept. 10-yl.
D. J. OSTLER
Respectfully announces to thx public that he
has oneneda NEW L1VEUY ST. MILE lu
connection with his hotel, and Is prepared to
furnish Teams for
Funerals Welte or Business Trips
on ihortPit notice and most liberate ermv. All
order i left at the'(3arUn liomo" will receive
Vronipt attention. Stable on Norih Street,
next the hotol IaeliUhrn. airivl
WE WILL PAY
i2 00 A DAY to a reliable purty, lady 01
icenllemiD, to receive ontrs lor our pub
lications. Any person a plying lor thi,
position, who canuot call on us person
lady, must stud photograph (which will
be returned), and alsonauiesol 3 resMn
title business men reference. Addrtn.-
Elder Publishing Co.,
3(4 Wabasb Ave., Chicago, III.
July II, 1885.
II. V. MortTniMBR, Jr Publisher.
VOL. XIV., No. 8.
Thomas' Drug Store.
IIS
Carefully Compounded
T. J. BHETNEY,
ltccpeetficlly announces to the merchants of
Lehlxhtou and others that bo li prepared tu
do till kinds of
Hauling of Fieight, Express
Matter and Baggage
at very reasonable priced. Ily prompt at
tention to all orders Iih hoppR to merit a tdurn
of public patronage, ltcdidenec, coiner of
Pino unil Iron Streot, Iohlglith, I'a.
Orders lor haiillnit lelt at II. M. sweeny J.
Son'i Store will rccclru prompt ultentUm.
T. J. miKTNLY.
Oct. 11!, 1881 3m.
JL CONVEY A NCEIS,
QF.NERAL INSURANCE AGENT
The followlna Compatiin. ari- KopreKentedi
LKdAh )N Mt) I UAI. I'HIK.
ItKAIIlNO JIUTUAI. rilSE.
wvomimi vmr..
POrTVILt,!; FtllK.
LHIIIfiill PirtE. mid tlio
TRAVEI.V.IiS ACOIIILNT INMIKANOE
Also puuslranln and Mutual Ilorso 'fhict
eteciveand In.uraneo t.'ompn'tv.
Marcli 13. 1S71
rnoa. KF.MKItER.
E. F. LUCK ES BACH,
DkALER IN
Wall Papers,
Hordeis & Decorations,
Boois, Stationery, Fancy RiMs
Window Sliades & Fixtures,
Latest Styles, made and pul up. If desired.
Paints, Oil, Varnish, Putty,
Bruahcs & general Painters'
Supplies.
No. 61 Broadway. Mancli CM, Fa.,
Below the Broadway House.
A PRESENT !
Our readrrs for 12 cents in postur.
damps to pay for insiliiiK und wrappine
ind iianii's of two bona h(piiis, win re
rive FUUK a Steel Frninh I'm lor En
arariwcfid oil nuu l'Jtf.siir..MS, Hi-,
eludinff i 1-kvm-ano, size xsa mcueh
worth $1 0U
Addw IVdcr Ji cb . Chirnqo, III,
U'!J''1-IMJI IWWiiyi I.I II L Uil ivv.-t l'TWT31
dSubscribe ibr the Ad
vocate, only $1 per year.
'CLINTON lmETNKY.fashlonable
Hoot and Wiiiik Makkb. Hank St.
Lohlichton. Ah work warranted.
THE ADVOCATE
JOB PRINTING HOUSE,
A new and complete lino of
all the latest novelties
necessary for artis
tic workman
ship. UANKWAY, LEHIGHTON.
Best Woiik ! Piuces Low!
3 3
FT1
F o ""O
JEE! S
g BO
J S E. S3-
P Q a
r. h o- S w
P M CD r-3
' d w
h w 0 fa 3 S
o CD o O S
ST"" ca J O
l-i o "M2
Z" o
o
! ji sod
l3 CUHS WHERE All USUrAlls! eP
fjA IteslUouKllbyrup. TaMes Rood.
Usq In time, hold by dniKgtsta. fe
What Is It-What It Does
Hood's Sarsaparilla Is made of sarsa
parllla, ilitudellon, inandrake, cherry
bark, uva ursl, dock, an J other valuable
medicinal agents long and favorably
known for their power In eradicating
disease ami puilfyingtheblood. It will
cure, when In tho power of medicine,
scrofula, suit rheum, dyspepsia, liend
uche, constipation, biliousness, general
debility, pain In the back, kidney com
plain, catarrh, female wcakness,cancer
ous humors, humors of the face, ring
worm, pimples, ulcers, sores, tumors,
scald head, and nil diseases arising
from an Impure stato or low condition
of the blood. Hood's Sarsaparllla Is
mado by C. I. Hood & Co., Lowell,
Mass. Sold by all druggists; $1, six
for $3.
When a Frenchman kisses his girl
ho does It on her forehead. No wonder
the French demand that the bang must
go-
A despondent person ought never
to cat blue-fish.
Very Poor Economy
Some dcodIo make a business of cheat
ing themselves, either by eating very
mean and cheap food, or else by eating
too small n quantity of good food!
Either way Is as bad policy a3 it would
be to buy a rotlin Instead of n suit
of good clothes, just because the
coflln would cost less. Poor diet means
Impoverished blood; and that meant
misery, llrown's Iron Hitters enriches
the blood, cives it the iron it needs.nnd
tones up the whole system Cures dys
pepsia, indigestion, weakness, malaria,
ive., ive.
Intjulsltlvo people are the funnels
of conversation; they do not take in
anything for their own use, but merely
to pass it to another.
-Talk about babies: but then we
never indulge In small talk.
There Is an enduring tenderness in
tho lovo of a mother for her sou that
transcends nil other affections of the
heart.
A lady wrote: "I
don't have that
I applied a Hup
awful slde-ncho now.
Plaster." 25 cents.
A door Is sometimes a jar and an
earthquake nlwnys is.
Favorable w eather for hay-making
when It rains pitchfotks.
A man who paints the town red
cnerally looks blue hltutelf the next
morning.
For ilicumatism, lumbago, neuralgia.
crania and colic thero is no remedy su
perlor to the genuine JJr. lliomas
Kelectric Oil.
Carlyle says,"Eaugliterincans sym
pathy." This will bring comfort to the
man who has tread on a banana peel
A New Yoik photographer alleges
that women now wear fal.se eye-brows,
false rye-lashes, and nn artificial neck
mil throat. He is evidently a fals-iiier.
Of course when a man Is sound and
well he don't care a copper for all tho
medicine on the face of the earth. He
has no use for it. But when disease Is
eating his life out he wants the right
tieiscriptlon ami lie wants It nglitawav
For thai reason all who know what Dr.
Kennedy's Faorlle liemedy is lurn to
that for help, and It never disappoints
them. And it is just as beneficial to
new friends as it is to old ones. Pleas
ant to the palate, and gentle In Us
action.
-ilstlietielsm is nothing new to the
goal. From tins earliest history lie Is
known to have been just so awfully
all butt.
"Murder in the high teas," said
-Jones to a friend as they were listening
to the performance of a poor tenor.
Our alarm? are much more numer
ous than our dangers; and wo suffer
much more in apprehension than we do
in reality.
Dr- Frazier's Hoot Bitters.
Frazier'3 Boot Bitters are not a dram
shop beverage. But are strictly medi
cinal in every sense. They act strongly
upon the liver and kidneys, keep the
bowels open and regular, cleanse the
blood and system of every impurity.
Sold by druggists, $1.00. At Thomas'
drug store.
The mildest mannered men in the
world show their teeth to tho dentist.
Ifcarbolio acid doesn't suit you as
a disinfectant, then bl-chlorido of mer
cury. Poverty of soul Is worse than that
of fortune.
Bncklen's Arnica Salve.
The best salve in tho world for cuts,
bruises, sorc3, ulcers, salt rhuem, fever
sores, tetter, chapped hands, chllblands,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi
tively cures piles, or no nav remtircd.
It Is J
uaranieeu to give perlect satstae-
tion, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box, at T. I). Thomas'.
Confidence is a plant of slowgrowth
in an aged bosom.
Every day should bo distinguished
by at least one act of love.
There is no escaping our destiny,
as each day brings us in contact with
It.
Or. Frazer's Magic Ointment.
A sure euro for all bolls, burns, sores,
cuts, (lesli wounds, sore nipple, hard
and soft corns, chapped Hps and hands.
Price CO cents. Sold bv druggists. Wil
liams Jl'f'g. Co., Prop's., Cleveland,
O. Sold by Thomas, tho druggist.
The yoke a man creates for him
self by wrong doing will breed hate In
the kindliest nature.
Having once taken a bravo resolvo
never look back, but go on bravely to
wards its fulfillment.
m -Very
Remarkable Recovery.
Mr. Geo. V. Willing, of Manchester.
Mich., writes: "My wife has been
almost helpless for five years.so helpless
that she could not turn over In bed
nlone. She used two bottles of Electric
Bitters, and is much improved, that she
is able now to do her own work."
Electric Bitters will do all that Is
claimed for them. Hundreds of testi
monials attest their great curative
powers, Only fifty cents a bottle by T.
1). Thomas.
A word of kindness Is seldom
spoken In vain It Is a seed which even
dropped by chance springs up a flower.
Calm the disorders of thy mind bv
reflecting on the w isdom, equity nml
ab olule itetilude of His pixx;tcdlu;? .
INDEPENDENT
LEHIGHTON, OAltBON COUNTY,
n ci ....
wuilV An
TRADER MARK.
r,tbsr1utr1tl
JFreo from. Opiates, JOmettcs una 1'olsort
SAFE. fcs fit
SURE. RiUS.
AT nnCGOISTS tSD llEALFItt.
the ciiiulij) ..vui,Ki,ru in.. iui,riiioK. wn.
ANREMfc!
CarsaEhcv?.atlan, lUuralds.
am
lllaekarh), Hrndirhe, Toolliiirhrt
pyrnins. nnin',(ir.trir,
piticr., KIFTT ti:T6.
At OnlifsUtA Anil Ocjlcr.
"UK CUAI1LES A. VOUELF.ll U).. niUIOUK, J1D,
HUMANITY.
Wrinkled and urny, tattered and torn,
Hattercil and timstt by tlia pitiless scor.i,
Under the frost-bitten pauper sod
liurj li I in deep, leave lilm to find.
Erect no stone above his breast;
His name's unl.nonn no matter the rest.
lttiitlo your satins; caress ) our don n ;
Kneel r.t your matins In snowygiraii;
Turn to the new-born miii yottr face;
lteineitilier tills morn you gave no pi ice
lleiiealli j our roof to shelter Ills bead.
You need not now: the old man's il.'iidl
Hurry lilm homo o'er the stony pave,
Tumble lilm Into the pauper's grave.
Only a battered old bulk, whom strife
Hud battered In ilealh on tlio sea of lire.
All, incl bis sails were once as bright
As Uioso that welcome jour young eye's
slslit
And the waters that laved his vessel's blow
Willi pjnld are paved as jours are now;
And the sunny skies before Ills ejes
Were filled with t lie blisses of paradise,
Hut his sails were rent, battered and torn
Hy (lie pitiless touch of human scorn.
The flowers that wilt on your nillk-whlto
breast
Will ejlve you to-night no rest, no rest;
No rest as jmi wlilil in the Kiddy dance,
l'or a thorn as keen as tho probo of a lance
Will piece the conscience within your heart.
Hid bliss, sweet Joy and peace depart,
For tho flowers thcyspruns from the hand
of tlod,
And sucked their sup from Hie sclt-samcsod
That covers the man you turned tinny
From jour roof and fireside circle to-day.
By Mere Accident
r.v ijzzn: lyo.ns.
In her miserabl" attic room Ethel
Dare, a young git of 1", was preparing
to go to her day's work. The air was
white with frost and everything she
touched seemed turned to ice. She had
burned her last lump of coal the night
before, anil, consequently, could not
have any fire. She went to the cup
board nothing there; she searched
everywhere, and finally found a cni3t of
bread. This she tried to eat, in the vain
hope that It would allay tho gnawing
hunger.
Putting on her threadbare shawl and
descending the attic stairs, she started,
stilT and hreakfastlcss, to face tho cold.
She was employed nt one of the lar;
dry goods stores where, every Saturday
night, she was handed an envelope con
talning jnst 45-.50 as a remuneration for
her life of toil and hardship.
Six months before her mother had
died, and, as Ethel had no money, she.
had been compelled to apply to tho
authorities for a burial by the city, where
she and tho woman from whom she rent
ed wero tho only mourners.
Mrs. Dare in her girlhood had been
the only daughter of a very wealthy
wholesale merchant, and was petted and
spoiled by her only brother,but she had
against her father's wishes, married a
worthless, profligate fellow, and ho had
disowned her. She soon became a wld
ow, and appealed to her father for as
slstance. which was Ignobly refused In
the harsh and cruel terms that "she had
mado her bed, now let her He In It.
She never wrote ngaln, but strove to
wotk for her little girl and herself and
keep the wolf from the door, On her
death-bed she told her daughter her
whole sad story, and Implored of her
never to marry a drunkard. Ethel had
very unfortunately for one In her station
In life, inherited her mother's gre:
beauty, consisting of large blue eyes,
golden curls and perfect features.
She had meanwhile reached the store,
and after an Interminably long dav of
dull monotony and dreary workpropared
to return to her miserable attic.
It was a cold, bitter night in midwin
ter; the streets of Xew York were one
sheet of snow and Ice, and more than
one warmly clad poison, as they fumed
tho comor and faced tho wind, sJee-,and
snow, hurried along, grasping Th'elr
wraps ruoro tightly about them, and
cast one sympathetic thought for the
poor unfortunates who had no place to
go as a sccno of a cheerful wife",' warm
supper, and pleasant fireside passed be
fore their gaze.
Thepeoplo were hurrying, or rather
illdlng along, as It was an utlei Impos
sibility to walk, for after one thought
they had a good foothold and could
manago to maintain their equilibrium
there would bu an Ignominious fall of
dignity, as, with an ejaculation of "Oh,
my!'1 they would go sllpplug down.
In front of one ot llio elegant houses
on 5th avontto thero was a place unusu
ally slippery, whoro at least a dozen that
night had fallen. A little black-robed
figure, In which we lecogulza our friend
Ethel, now made her apjiearance, and
In her haste stepped right on tho slip-
I pery i;ot, which was followed, as many
wx. w
mm
Live ana Let Live."
PA., SATURDAY, JANUARY i), 188(5.
of her predecessors had been, by a pain
ful fall. With a low moan of pain she
ragged herself to tho step, thinking she
was only jarred and would recover her
self nnd then resume her Journey. A
slidden tw Inge of pain from her nnklc
caused her very lips to lurn white.
"Oh, my ankle!" Everything was
growing dark before her. Shc-tticdto
raise herself, causing another twinge
from her nnkle, which made her full
back senseless. She had fainted.
A large, portly man, enveloped lu a
hugd overcoat, fur mittens, ntcllc lub
bers, In fact, everything equlvnlent lo
comfort, stopped suddenly as he started
ascend the steps. "My! what Is
this?"
Ho hastily gathered her up In his
trong orms, gave a loud, ringing peal
to the door bell, which brought several
setvants running to the door, strode
through the hall, up the wide staircase,
and Into his wife's slttluc-rootn, and
laid his burden on the lounge.
Ills wife, like the good, dear, sensible
motherly woman she was, never stopped
to ask questions and give way to curiosi
ty (a woman's falling), but proceeded
to administer the needed restoratives.
Hot efforts were soon rewarded by a
long quivering sigh Issuing from the Hps
of tho patient. After a quivering of the
yellds the largo blue ccs opened, look
ing wondcnngly around at (lie grandeur
such as she had often dreamed of but
never seen. The man at her side had
been looking intently at her from the
first, evidently In a brown study from
the knit brow and thoughtful eye; but
when she opened her eyes ho started up
exclaiming: "How like my sister
Ethel." Ethel attempted to raise lier
self.but she fell back on Hie lounge w ith
a cry of anguish.
"My poor child, what Is It?"
"My ankle, I think, is sprained.
After the pain had somewhat subsid
ed she said:
"Will you bo kind enough to tell mo
iow I came here? I remember falntin,
while coming home from work."
Xevcr mind now, my child." The
doctor, who had been sent for, now ar
rived. He was the typical rosy-faced
good-natured doctor, and soon had her
ankle mom comfortable; taking his
cave with tho injunction "that the ut
most care must be taken of her," and
prophesying a speedy recovery, and that
ho "would bring her around all right in
a couple of weeks."
After tho doctor's exit "mine host"
explained to Ethel's satisfaction how he
had found her lying on the steps. He
could not look at her without betraying
the deepest signs of emotion.
"My, child have you any friends or
relatives who will bo anxious about you
to whom I might send word?"
"Alas, I have no friends, I am only
:tpoor orphan, with no one In the wide
world to care for me. Mamma died six
months ago," and the sweet blue eyes
Idled with tears.
A deep shade of pity overspread' the
man's face. "Tell me," anxiously and
breathlessly, "who was your mother:
what was her maiden name?''
I do not think I ought to tell, for
grandpapa disowned her. because she
married agtinsthis will, and he is living
some place In Xew York, and he proba
bly would not earn to havo It spoken of.
for mamma said he was very proud."
Assho ceased speaking a silver-haired
old man entered the room and bent over
the couch. He was as visibly affected
as his son had been.
"Oh, my son, who Is this? It looks so
like my poor, lost Ethel."
'Will you tell now,my child? I assure
you I have only tho best motives and
not merely curiosity for inquiring. The
deepest Interests are at stake. I have
long been searching for my long-lout
sister, and you bear so great a resem
blance to her that I have strong convic
tions that you arc her daughter."
a warm uiusn ot pride swept over
Ethel's face as she remembered her
grandfather's cruel treatment of her
sainted .mother, for even the most abject
poverty could not suppress her pride,
and she for a tln.e refused, but at last
gavo in and told lilm her mother's whole
slid story. "And," she continued bit
terly, "mamma died of consumption
tho result of hard work, exposure, want,
and neglect, while the 'hard-hearted
father was reveling in plenty and com
fort, and she now occupies a pauper'
grave!"
'iho old man's face had twitched
visibly during the narrative, and at the
completion ho completely broke down
and sobbed HUoachild. Becoming more
composed, he said pleadingly:
"If I were to tell yon that father had
repented and Instituted vigilant search
advertised, and tried every way In tho
world to make amends would you for-,
give him? I am your grandfather; you
would not, you could not condemn mo
now?"
Lthel's surprise knew no bounds. Her
grandfather and uncle found and plead
ing lor iorgiveness. &ne, the poor
working-girl and occupant of that miser
able attic. She could scarcely bellev
her senses.
Yes, her mother would have forgiven
them, and should she not bo doubly, aye
triply, willing to do so? It was indeed
a happy reunion.
trom being a poor shop-girl, residing
In an attic room, and receiving barely
enough upon which to exist, Ethel, by
tier accident, was transferred to a home
of wealth nnd allhience, and as soon as
her ankle was sufficiently well Mrs. Dare
was raised from a pauper's grave, put
Into the family bury-grouud, and had I
an elegant monument erected to her
memory.
Young housekeeper (looking over
the market reports) "Bridget, I shall
want you to go to market this morning."
Bridget "YIs. mum. Wot'll T
mum?" Young housekeeper "I see
that beef is much cheaper on the hoof, I
and I presume that It's just as good.'
Get a nlco roast of the hoof." '
1. 00 ft
If
Jacob's L.ong Wooing,
IE "TOUCH! TIME" TnE OOOI) MAN
HAD IN OETTlNfl THE WIPE
III'. WANTED.
"Wc tied a bully story down afthe
Hnnio Kltmlfit 1hI." kaIiI tlin linM-nlim.
as ho begged a cigarette from the rc. j
porter. "Twas about Jacob, and the
tough time he bed In getting er wife.
All light. I'll tell it teryer. Yer
sec, Jacob and r.saur was brotheis, ana
snur was dead ngin Jacob 'cause he
alius got the biggest slice of pie and wore
red top boots.
"And Esaur sez, sez he:
" 'I'll do him up.'
"And his mother sez tor Jacob, sez
she:
" 'Go and sec yer uncle.'
"She dldn'tglve him nothing ter pawn,
cause they wore nothing ter speak of In
them days except car-rings.
" 'Sides,' sezshe 'I'm not stuck on the
gurls lu this naborhood,and ef you went
jut onto the plains you might ketch cr
gutl what had squalled onto half ersec.
turn or sttmthlng.'
"Jacob's uncle, I.abau,llvcd out West
and lied two daughters,and the old man
and the old woman put up a job that he
shud marry ono of his cousins. Aflcr
putting a couple of sandwiches in ills
pocket he sherried, and he slept In box
cars and dreamed and ct blackberries.
They was just glttlng ripe. An he
tramped till ho kem to ergang of shep
herds what was tending sliceps. And
he sez to them, sez he:
" 'D'ye know an old party round .here
called Laban?'
"And they sez, sez they, all to onct:
" 'Tills bo his range, and them's his
shecp.'
" 'How Is his health?' sez Jacob.
" 'He is liurty tolerable, thank ye,'
sez they."
"Jest then Jacob threw his glims over
the porary,and there was Rachel coming
with Laban's sheep to the well for water.
She lucked for all tho world like Mary
and her little lamb, only she'd more
lambs than Mary. She'd tier hair
banged and lied er dress made all of one
piece, with the skirt throwed over her
left shoulder. She was ez party ez a
jailer ribbln. Jacob was a goner right
there.
"And he sez, sez ho:
'"Ah there!'
"And she sez, sez she:
"'Don't stay there.'
"And Jacob made a grand rush and
klst her right there 'fore the gang, and
fore she knowed about It. Guess she
wouldn't a kicked nohow, 'cause Jacob
was no slouch hlsself, and he wore red
socks. And he told her who he was,
and she sez, sez she:
" 'I'll go and tell dad.'
"And Laban was glad ter see his nev
vy. And Jacob sez, sez he:
" 'Uncle, I wants ter work.'
"And Laban sez, sez he:
" Pitch in.'
"Lallan's other daughter, Leah, was
au old maluTand bed weak eyes. In oili
er respecks she was doing quite well.
Jacob made er good baud, and Laban
was 'shamed to give hlin but his board
and washing. And he sez, sez he:
" 'What's yer sal'ry?'
"And Jacob spoke up ez one nian,and
he sez, sez he:
" 'I wants yer daughter Bachel,' sez
he.
"And Laban sez, sez he:
"'Xot much!'
"And Jacob purposed to work seven
years for boird and clothes and cigar
ette money cf ho cud hcv her at the end
of that time.
"And Laban sez, sez hot
" 'It's a go.'
"And at the end of seven years Laban
hed a barbecue, and invited all the na
burs. Speeches was made, and there
was a great time. The presents was
mtra'rus and costly; and the table
groaned. Xlto kem on, and they bed
no 'lecttic light nor coal-He iu them
days) and the wedding tuk place In the
dark.
"In the morning Mrs. Jacob slipped
outer bed, and she sez, sez she, sorter to
herself:
" 'Where's my eye water?' sez she.
"And then Jacob raised up onto his
elbow and ho saw that ho'd bin tuk In.
ne hustled into his pants and went out.
Laban was Innercently shelling coru for
tlior chickens lu the back-yard.
"And Jacob sez, sez he;
"Don't let yer shirt bile over the
waist-baud of yer pants. Keep yer
temper.'
"And ho guv him a long line of con
versashln, and then he ses, sez he:
'"You've got one of my gurls now,
and ef you're so dead stuck on thuther
ye kin hev both ef yo works fur me sev
en years more.
"And Jacob sez, sez he:
" Tve nothing pertlckler to do, and I
might ez well 'muse myself that way ez
not.'
"And the sucker served seyen years
more and then ho was a Mormon and
moved out lo Salt Lake, I guess. And
that's all."
A VERY NATURAL MISTAKE.
A gentleman who had just arrived
from Boston last Sunday evening
dropped Into a church on his way to a
hotel wiille tho minister whs describing
the glories of heaven.
"Must bea beautiful place,"whispcred
a man tu the, samo pew.
"Beautiful t" replied the Bostonlan,
"beautiful is no name for It. I left
thero this morning."
"Left heaven this morning?" said his
amazed neighbor.
"Heaven? Is he describing heaven?"
"Certainly."
"Well, I'll bo everlastingly Amerlcan-
.... "ed II I illdll't think, bu was doacribiiiu
get,.,. ... o
I Boston.
1
Subscribe for the Caiiuon
cate only 1.00 a year.
V ii vi I
"
Year if Paid in Advanco.
not paid in advance, $1.2;')
OLD MIDDLET0N.
AN' VL! NEGRO WHOSE AITI.1CTIOSS
hin Not teach TitunnTi.xEss.
Old Mlddleton walked slowly along
the street. It had been Some tltno since
his last visit to the city-, nnd tie looked
with an air of Interest of every Utile
''"1'roveiricnt that had been made since
the last time he had honored the Capital
of Arkansas by mingling with Us Inhabi
tants. Occasionally, though, the old
man would cense his inspection of Im
provements, scratch Ills head, and sur
render himself to a meditation which
s-emed to be fruitful of gt eat perplexity.
"Why, how aroyott, Mlddleton?'' said
the Secretary of State.
The old man started, as though he
had been suddenly aroused from a sound
sleep, and said:
"Howdy, Mars 'Lias; howdy sah."
"Where do you keep yourself? 1
haven't seen you for some time."
"I stays mighty close, now, Mars
Lias. I kalut walk like I lister could.
Some time ergo I broke the spring bone
In one of niv heels."
"You did what?"
"I says that I broke de spring bono in
ono o' my heeN, sah. What yerlaugbln'
at? Ain yer got no more feelln' den
ter laugh at er pusson's llickshiin? Is
dat tie way der Ditnmercrats gwinetcr
do jes' 'ease da's In dc power?"
"I was not laughing nt your affliction,
Undo Mlddleton."
"Den whttt yer laughln' at?"
"At the Idea of a man having a spring-
bone in his heel."
"Mcbbo yer (loan' blebe it.'
"Of course I don't."
'Wall, Uat's wliar ver shows rcr
Igtiunce, Mars 'Lias; an' now, ter be
plain wld yer, I doan see wharfo' da
'lected yer to slcli cr 'portant ollice. Yer
oughtcr know better den ter talk dat
way. Er deer an' cr man bof hab got
spring-bones In der heels."
"What is the shape of the sprlngbone
in a man's heel?'1
"Wall, it's sorter like do back-spring
o' er knife. It's de fines' metal o' any
bone In de human 'natomy, sah, an' cf
It wan't fur dem springs, folk's woul'
walk jes like da had wooden laigs; da
woul', sah, fur cr fack."
"How did you break ono of your
spring?"
"Well, sah, I wuz chasin' de haugs
outer de ilel' an' iitjumpin' oberer fence
I struck my heel crgln cr stump. Snap!
went the spring an' I gunter turn roun'
an roun' like er steamboat wld one
wheel smashed. I knowd den dat my
bes' days wuz done ober."
"Couldn't you have another spring
made?"
"l thought l could, un' I -ployed cr
cullud gennermait whut wtlz er mighty
fine 'ziahlln. He said dat he had made
ono outcrstcel fur er white man, but
after tlnkerln' 'round, fur er while an'
chargln' me $10, ho gin up de jaub an'
quit."
COULDN'T BtOP THAT BOY.
Bomcyn, a Montclalr, X. J. boy, aged
five, converses witli his friend of equally
mature years, as follows:
Bomcyn My pa Is going to get mo a
goat.
Fairchlld I've got 20goatsi
B. Where are they?
F. Oh, they're down In XeW York
in pa's ofilce.
B. Why don't they bring them here?
F. They're elek.
A pause. Finally Boilieyn speaks:
I saw Anthony's Xose last summer.
Fairchlld I saw Anthony himself.
B.-"-Anthony's Xose is a rock, and It
broke off and fell lilto tho watcn
F. I saw it fall,
Bomeyn's mother.ali Interested listen
er, at this point deemed it expedient to
interpose with a moral lesson. "Why,
Fairchlld," said she, "did you never hear
of Ananias and Sapphira?"
F. I knew them both.
R's. mother You know, Fairchild,
they wero struck dead for telling lies.
F. Yes, I paw tlldrtl struck.
B's. mother Fairchlld, do you know
where they went?(Very Impressively)
They went to hell.
F.-I know lb I saw tbera go.
BOUHD TO HAVE A SWIM.
A gentleman ot our acquaintance tells
its the following good story, which goes
to show that the average Austin boy has
what Mrs. Partington would call a "ju
dicious" mind. He, the boy, wanted to
go swimming.
"But, my ton," rejolhed the anxious
parent, "swimming Is unhealthy. It
was only this morning that you were
complaining of a pain in your stoiu
acli."
"That's so, pa; but I know how to
swim on my back."
I
THE
GESTTQNEC.
This mcdlalne. combinluir Imn with mire
vi-noiauio umiv, iiuii-aiy mm rnmplcieiy
t'urra lv,pcpil:i, IinUjirMIoit, Wt-nkur,
liunurolllood, Jfulurlu,LhlllaandI'CTere,
N'eiirululii.
lis an unlalllnz remedv for Dtu-osoa nf the
niducya nnd Liver.
It Is lmalnablo for Diseases peculiar to
Wonion. and all who lead seilcntiirs-lives.
I tdoe, not Injure the tetth, cause hcadachcor
produce constipation ofArr Iron mttlKiuft ilo.
Iho annetltc. aldl tho assimilation of food, n--
itviintiiesaiiii purines nil- iuouu,riiimnaii
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ens the muscled and nenot.
l l or smerui'iwni reven". iasunue, j-bvk 1.1
l tiucrgy. cc, is na, no ripiai, m
' r- Thopemilna has alrfive trade maiV and
i rfvisjMi reel mice on wrsppvr 'Jasc nootiirr.
til
aj. i,kj BBonsiHEiiriL to., EAlTiausi.aa,
The Carbon Advocate
An tndependont Foinilv Newspaper
Published evory fcATUltDAY, in
Lchlgkton, Carbon Co., Pa., by
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H. V. MORTHIMER, Sr.,
0TARY PUBLlJ5
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One of the prettiest, brightest, and no
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Address. SOtTJUlnA CO.O.VSh
Jyll cor.
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