Advertising Rates.
We desire It to be distinctly understood
that no advertisements will be inserted lu
U19 AolUrans ot-Tai Qirdok Adtoiutr that
may be received from unknown parties or
flrrai unless accompanied by the OAan,
The following are our oxlt terms i
nim sqiMsit (10 LINKS),
On year, each Insertion...... .,... 1 6 fits.
Bix months, each Insertion IS els.
Three months, each Insertion 20 otl.
errau than tVrea months, first Insertion
il peaeh.subsequcnt Insertion.....,, 25 cts.
. Local noticca 10 cents per line.
II. V MORTHIMEK, Publisher.
J CARDS,
Attorneys
WJ
Mi BArsitsn,
ATTOHNKr AND COONSKtLOR AT IAW,
Dim atnii.LimorroK.ri.
a..ts..i.l..,,,t rvdlaetlon Aranev WIllBuyand
Sell K.al Katate. Conveyancing .leatly done Col
ettl'ms promptly ' Wilms; imiin.ij
doits a specially. May be coniultiid In Knillsh
ndUerinan. Net.tl.
W. H. DOOL1TTLB. B. n.WABlCKK n. KCMBBK..
.' Late Assistant Com'r of Patents.)
B. H. "WARMER & CO., Attorneyslat Law,
WARHXn UOILDIHO,
WASHINGTON, D. O.
Attention given to Patont and IHInlnic eases,
Lands, Pensions, Ilonntles, and Government
claims. Attention prompt, charges moderate.
Address with stamp. Keter to Member or
Conaress and the Heads of Government De
partments, dee. 10, mi o
Physicians and Dentists.
A. DERHAJIER, Jl !.,
rllYBICIAH ANDSCROKON
Ipaelat attention pU to Chronla Diseases.
Offic: South Bast corner Iron and 2nd ata.. Le
alhtOB,Fa. April 3, 1875.
1ST.
B. ItEDEK, 51. D.
U. S. Examining Burgeon,
PRACTICING PIIYSIUIAN and BD I'.dlJoN,
Oirics; Hank Street. IlEBStt'a it LOCK, Lehich.
tsu, fa
ll ay be consulted In the acrm'n Language.
- Nov. 10.
TI7031AS KEftlKRKR,
CONVEY ANUKIt,
AND
OKHERAL INSURANCE AGENT
The Mlowlnt Oompanlea are Represented:
L.RRAN )N MU rUALKiniC.
RSAII1M? MUi'UAI. 1'IIIK,
WYOMISCt I'IBK,
rorrnviLr.i: nnic.
Million PIKK.nMilthr.TnAV
Ei.mts accident insuuanoi;.
Alan rennsvlvmli and .Untnsl lloraa Thlat
eteo'lve-and In-urauco J't'mpnnv.
UarcBM.lsn IIIOH. KltilEltKK
Oooiitt DoitniNO, MAUOII CHUNK, Pa.
Fire Insurance Agent.
tnr POrt)IF., In SAFE Companies only,
at Reasenahlo Rates. Aug.S3-yl
QARBON HOUSE,
J. W. KAUllENHuSH, PROPRIETOR,
HakkSt., LEniaitTov, Pa.
The Daubon Hnt'SK offers nrst.class ace urn.
modatlons to the Trnvollnir public, llonrdlnic
bv the Day or Week on Reasonable Terms,
fjholce Cigars, Wines and Liquors always on
hand. eloed Hhmts and Stables. Willi attor
Iro llosilers, attached. April 10-yl,
JOHN F. HALUACIT,
Instructor of Music,
(riano, Organ, Voico and Theory.)
LEIIIGHTON, I'A.
Sole rcent for the
WEBER PIANOS and th NEW ENG-
IjANII ORGANS i
And dealer In all kinds of Pianos and Organs.
"Terms low and easy. Slate, lumber, bricks,
etc., taken la exchange.
Sheet Mmle and books furnished on short
notlee.
For particulars, terms, &c, Address,
JOHN F.HAI.IIAOII.
Aug a, HTO-ly. Lehlghten, Pa.
j-wib nitiieitT's
Givery & Sale Stables
i
BANK 8TrtKCT.l.lIIIOIlTON, Pa
FAST TROTTING HOUSES,
ELEGANT CARRIAGES.
Aai positively oWBn rRICES than any
v finer wvory in sue uoamy.
Large ana fctindeome carrlagea for runeral
ntxHi and Wedilaee. DAVID IS II HURT
War. mm.
J. W. EAUDENBUSH
Kespeetfully annnnnoas tn the pnblle that he
kai opened a NEW LIVERY STAIILK In
Maaaetlen with his hotel, and Is prepared to
rarnlsb. Teams for
Fanerals, WeMinss or Bnsiness Trips,
n shertes t notlee and most liberal terms. All
rears left at the "Carbon Houfe"wll receive
prompt attention Stable on Nonh S'reet,
next the hotel, l.ehlghlon. Jan23-;1
W YOUTH AND MIDDIE-AORD,
m aumo ana v win ratal-,
vleetn anated eovelopn. Addreaa,
ml. J.T. KUAN, Ogdtnaourg N.Y. JalyKyl
RIIPTI RF lMrKTUAJi'lRUFB
I IUI I VJI lUiawbatyoo want the
rreatest Invention of sheave I Hee our pant,
ehlet. Kent free, l-rot. J. Y. EUAN. Orcens
hare. N.Y. Jilruri
MILTON A. WEISS,
CARRIAGE BUILDER,
Bank Street, Leliighton.
REPAIRING
Of all description promptly attended to at the
most reasonable prices.
4a7 All Work guaranteed, and patronage
l;rspctfulir solicited. Uan.Wjl
ibbb aM ' isfstjv mm a
V
-! 'L.
H. V. MoRTniMEB, Proprietor.
VOL. X., No lti.
Hailroad Guide.
plULA. A IllSADINCI UAlbllOAD.
Arrangement of I'aiseDgcr Trains.
lANaABYsp'itn-u
Trains leave AX.CB&Tfjv;N as folfowsi
(VIA rxKKtoiux KAaeOAU).
Por Ehlladelphla,at'4i,ll.S, 1 1.40. a.m.. and
J. 10 p. Dl,
SUNDAYS.
For rhlladelphla at 1.10 a. m.,8.11 p. tn.
IVIA BASr rtX'KA. BtiAKCU.)
For Reading abd HarMshnrg, e.CO, I.Oti a m
IJ.I5. 4,soat:d sosp. m.
For Lancaaterand Culomtitti, CM, I.N a.m. and
4.30 p. tn. -
SUNDAYS.
For Reading, Ilarrlsburg, and Way po'sts. . JS
p. m
TralnaFOR A LLKNTOWN leave as follows,
(VIA rtlttlOllF.X tLAlLEOAD.)
Leave Philadelphia, 7.40 a.-m.-and 1.0,
aa .15 p. in
BTTNDAYS.
Leave Philadelphia, S.oo a. m. J it and '4.30
P.m.
(VIA KABT lKSSAi BlfJ.n.n. ,
Leavo Readlns.T.tO. 10.30 a. m,. 1.00. 1.H.snd S.I5
Leave Hon Ishurg S.:o 5.(5 and .M. a, m., 1.45
atin i.ou p. m. . . .
Leave Lancaster. 7.r,n a. m 1 .00 and (3.lo"p. m.
r...Mn.ininht. m ,1ft and 1.40 D. rja.
tFrom K ng treet Depot.
SUNDAYS.
Leave Heading. 7.30 a. m.
Leave Hat risbui g. 6.10 a.m.
iraifllTII I CI.IUUICH ..will, luak.uil .uu.
()run to and from Depot. Nintii abd oreen
atr-rta. ll.lladclphla, other trains to and from
uroaa strrn uepub .
. . . . . i - , . 1 1 .
niHl the and 5.15 p. ni. train from Fhlla.
detphia.vla rerxiomen llnllroad.bave through
cars to aud Iiora Fhllacelphla.
J. K. WOOTTKN.
Gtntrat Stanaatr,
C.a HANCOCK, ain't rait. & Ticket Agtnt.
NovemDei tth.
THE BEST OF COAL.
The undersigned Is now prepared to supply
the very best LATTIMEK COAL, at the fol
lowing LOW PRIOES FOR CASH I
Dellv'd.
No. 2 Chestnut, hy the ear VI li
No. 1 Chestnut, by the car,.... 74
Stove, by the our 4 00
lly the singleton, 25 cents per ton additional
J . L . G ABEL,
Doatonn
General Hardware, Sec,
Oppeslto I ho Public square, BANK STREET,
LKillfl Hi ON, FA. tiuv.10.181'
JOHNR.G.WEYSSER,
rnOPHIETOR OF THE
West End Brewery,
Maucii Chunk, Pa.
Pure Porter and Lager Beer
Delivered all over the State.
October's, 1631 yl
DROP IN AT THE ft
1.
Urbon Advocate
OFFICE FOR
Cheap Printing ! j.
slum-
CO wi s
a o52 u
Ttl a, TLz
igees
R3isg5
Central Carriage'Works,
Bank St., Leliighton, Ta.,
Are prepared to Manufacture
Carriages, Buggies, Sleighs,
Spring Wagon, &c,
Of every description, In the most substantial
manner, anu ai iKiwesi uasn Prices.
Repairing Promptly. Attended to.
TREXLER & KREIDLER,
April 24, lata yl Proprietors.
FARMERS, LOOK to Your INTERESTS
ANU PURCHASE
taMLi Machines anil Agri
cultural ImplemeHts,
The Best la the Market at
J. L. GABEL'S.
Purchasers. CH'kaP f OR CASH
10,000 feet Georgia Yellow
Pine Flooring,
White Pine Boards and Floor
ing, Lath, &c.
AT HIS HARflWATtB STOF.i:.
April -ne LeHIGUTON, Pa.
.1'..
FOB
RHEUMATISM
Neuralgia, Sci'aiica, Xumbaao.
BackacliOf Soreness of ifio Chest,
Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swell
ings and Sprains, Burns and
Scalds, General Bodily
Pains,
Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted
Foot and Ears, and all other
, Pains and Aches.
No Preparation on rartli equals Et. Jai-obs Oil
a, a grift, attre, filtnplo and elteilp External
Remedy. A trial entails but the compnratlrely
trifling outlay of 50 Cents, and every one ittfTer
Ing with pain can have cheap and positive proof
of Its claims.
Iiireclluns In Eleven LAngringes.
BOLD BY ALL DRUG OIST3 AND DEALEE3
IN MEDI0INE.
A. VOGEIsER & CO.,
Baltimore, MJ. V. 8. L
Maroli 6, 1881.71
The great superiority of DR.
BULL'S COUGH SYRUP over
allothercough remedies is attested
by1 the immense popular demand
for that old established remedy.
For the Cure of Coughs, Colds,
Hoarseness, Croup, Asthma, Bron
chitis, Whooping Cough, Incipient
Con:umption and for the.relicf of
consumptive persons in advanced
stages of the Dbcasc. For Sale
byr.ll Drutrsists. Price, 25 cents.
CATARRH
REMEDY,
A Poaltlvo Cure Tor Catarrh of all
klnila. It Is Inxtniitniieotia In 1 ffeet
a.nl l'ermanenl In Kesult. Cures at any
stage of tin- iiiicass Una cured casia so tetrtble
Hut bonce oamo Irom the nose.
. Dr.Tivnry's Dlntnond Catarrh Rrni.
eily Ismtiil and peannt. atrorillnglminedlHto
It. Hel ami pi-ctrii.t cure In all ca-ca 1 1 4'ntnrrli,
liilliiciizn, Iluy Fever, Ilronclittls.
Il w.il iciiinvo I'olvptts anil ctrectuully cure
Watery an'l Ptitiilcnt Discharges from the Ileail
and Throat, and Fuetld, Sickening Breath: per
foi'tlv rcaiore linpal cd Smell, Taste and Hearing;
relievo lle.idcne. Ilreak up Colds In the Head;
Mrcngiheu the Voice and Kyes; l"uriry, Ilegulato
and ltcndcr Clear anil Active every Ortan of the
lli'Kd anil 'I hroat. i'nee, 50 cents.
Dr. livory's Dlamnnil Invlcorntor is
n I'crlcct lliuutl I'llrlllor, Avpetlzer and
Norvx Tonic. It makes a deliirtitntl, whole
some ilrr.t, which lnvlzorateis. I'urlOea
ami Sirriictlirnsj ttio entire system.
For Ucneial D.billty, l)ysppsla, DlliounesB,
Torp d Liver, Inillycsti. n, Ketiralitlo and Kheu
matio AtTections, Jaundice, Malaria, Flatulency,
Nane.i, sick llcadaclio and Kidney Complaints,
It Is Invaluable. l"t Ice, W cents.
Dr. iTvorr'a niaiiiond Snlvo Is ft sover
eign cure lor Hums, llrulses. Bores of all kinds,
Halt iltlieum. Tetter, ltlniiworm and Cutaneous
Eruptions. Price, 25 cents.
A alt yonr Drneclat for three remed
leu and tuko no oilier or will be aent
Freo on receipt ofprlce.
pc;crlptlre ramphlcts Free.
Address Dr. Evory'a Diamond Remedies Co.,
P. O. Box KM. 1M John Street, New Tork.
THIS tiRBAT
AEPETIZEE
TONIC,
AND
COUGH CURE
ron
COUGHS,
C0IB
coxsmiPTioy,
BRONCHITIS,
ASTHMA,
All Siseasos
or TUB
THROAT, CHEST
The riAI.SAHIof
TOLL bss always
beenoneottbemost
Important weapons
wielded llr the Med
leal faculty against
the eccroscbmenU
of the aho- Dis
eases, but It has nev.
Alter been so advanta
ccouely compound
ed as In Lawreuci
& MaltTIM's TOLU,
KOI K and UYE. lu
soolhlnt; lUL.iXlo
..nnnrlira MffnrH.'a
Idlffmhe ellninlant,
Jappedrer and lontc,
J ... I.rit.1 in tha hvi.
tern after the cough has been rclicied,
CltUnN n. RAU.tl, Cinmmla.lnner of
Internal Itovcnne, Washtncn-n. D. C, Jan.
SOtb, wan, aays! TOI.V, ItOl IC end UYE Is an
eereeahlo liemedyln PectorJi coniplttluta and is
classed as a Medicinal preparation un.lt r the U.
fi. Revised fititntos, and whrn so-etluipcd, insy
be sold by DltUUUISTS, (iliOC'EUS ot.d other
persons, without spoilal Wi," or license.
finilTiriM I Don't bo decrhed by detlers
UHU I lull I ho try tn palm oS liock and
liye for LAwncscs Maiivim's TOLV, UOCli
and HYE which Is tho only HKDlCATtl) ar
tide malo-the genuine has th.'ir liuuio vu tho
Proprlotary titamp on each Uoulc,
Put tip ia Qnirt Biai Bottle. Prlci $1.00.
ia.VVnE.NCt! A.- EIAItTin, 1'ronlalors,
CHICAOO, ILL.
Bold by DRUCQirrs r-i-i c:;?:At
lj.lKiviirai!i!iiiiiM
1 iriil i, r
CM
I1TDEPENDENT "
LEHIGHTON, CARBON COUNTY,.
THE LAST FAREWELL
bt n. b. luaanr.
Farewell io love,'larewtll to home,
I bid ye both a last good night)'
Boon speeds m; bark across the foam,
Soon will ye both be tost to sight.
For I must seek a foreign strand,
Perchance another home to find;
But In my own, my native land,
I leave my heart's best love behind,
For (hough I roam from pole to rone,
And wander o'er the waters wide,
My heart will rllnc to her alone
Whom ones t liocil to call my bride.
Whom onet 1 hoped 1 O bitter word,
That speaks of hopes dcrayed and dead
Of pictured pleasures blotched and blurred,
Of saddened heart and aching hrad.
Whom once t hoped t Oh, speak It not,
Nor rend the broken heart again,
To that sad thought tho present lot
Owes alt Its black nets, all lis pain.
Cease, Memory, cease thy saddening
sway
Thou art at best a doubtful good;
And let Ihe dead past haste away
Into "the years beyond tbo Flood.".
For t would sing a happier strain,
And bid my love gook bye In peace)
For now we no'er may meet again, .
All bitter thoughts at least shnuldxeasr
If e'er I wronged her, she'll forgive,
In memory of the love I bore,
Nor lit a fancied slight still live
To rankle In her bosom's core.
And though to me she was kind,
Though all my hopes she dashed away,
Yet shall her Image In my mind
Shine bright as on tho happiest dsy,
No change of home, no change of scene,
Bhalll that bright Image e're deface,
Or still the thought of what has been,
Or from my heart my lovo erase.
Then farewell, love, and farewell, home,
1 bid ye both a last good-night;
Soon speeds my bark athwart the foam,
Soon will ye both be lost to sight,'
Perchance upon a foreign strand
Another home I yet may find ;
But in my own, my native land,
1 leave my heart's best love behind.
The Mysterious Passenger.
Wo noticed him, I remember, from the
very first, and wo lmrt three good reasons
for so doing. In the first place, he .was
Ihe f ry lust passenger to come aboard,
arriving, indeed, just when the bell was
duping as a signal to clear Iho ship. .
In the second place, ho wm rather-a
remarkablu looking ftllow nltogether-w
tall, gaunt, willow nnd steru, with a long;
leau face, nud a oidd, grey eye, nud,;s
wc nil declare n manifest air of mys
tery ubout him, ovcu Irutn the very be
inlug. The last, but by no -neans least, of onr
grounds of suspicion, was the fact that
our mysterious fellow passenger brought
on board with him an oblong wooden
box, vt ry much like an overgrown pistol
case, of which he seemed fur more care
ful than of ihe well worn, leather port
muntean, which was the only other arti
cle of baggage he seemed to possess.
It wan ividtntly sot very heavy, for
one sailor shouldered it with ease. It
could not be called inconveniently large..
forwhtn Its master brgged to be allowed
to keep it in his stateroom instead of
stowing it iu the hold, neither tho cap
tain or the purser made the slightest ob
jection. It was not labelled "Glass, with care,"
or anything of that sort, ns we could nil
see for ourselves; and yet its master's
nervous anxiety lest it should be dam
aged, or even bumped 'against anything
hard, was so marked that we all began
to have dismal suspicions as to its possi
ble contents.
But just at first we had something else
to think abont, fur Ihe first three days of
onr voyago was a perfect chapter of acci
dents. To -begin with, we were thrown late at
starting, by bnvlng to watt more than nn
hoar fpr the mail. Then., whon we were
jnst ontside the Narrows, on rarue a fog
as thick as bnokwheat porridge, which
forced us to lie too till late in the after
noon, keeping up all the while a chorus
of bells and horns, worthy vof a Chinese
wedding.
As soon as the fog cleared, It was sno
ceeded by it pour of rain which inspired
a facetious saloon passenger to nsk the
captain, at dinner time, whether fishing
was allowed on the after-deck.
At length the rain went of in its turn,
and now we began to hope that this was
the end of onr tronble , bnt we soon
fonnd it to be only the beginupjg of
them.
The red and angry sunset on tha sec
ond night, tho ghostly bare around the
fall moon when it rose, the short, uneasy
panting of the wind, all foreboded furth
er mischief, and the older -'salts (ookeil
meaningly to windward, and prophesied
"dirty weather."
The prophecy was not long in fulfilling
itself. About midnight I was awakened
by a' crash as if twenty eart-Ioads of
bricks bad tumbled throngb the roof of
so many glass bouses, and found myself
standing bolt-upright in my berth, like
a soldier in a sentry-box. And the next
moment I bad a fins prospective view of
my toes high overhead, while a kind of
waterfall of oushions, blankets, pillows.
soap, towels,; boots and whatnot, wont
pouring through every part of the room
Then burst forth a deafening chorns of
shouts, groans, screaming women, cry
ing children, the rattle of dishes, the
crash and jingle of broken glass, and we
were fairly "in for it" at last.
For tho next twenty-four hours, in the
grsphio words of oar old boatswain
"every blessed thiug on board was inside
out and upside down." Plates and cups,
kulves, forks and spoons eddied cease
lessly from bide to side of the table,
Hasty froders stuck their forkB into
themselves instead of their meat ; the
soup meant for the months of the guesta
emptied itself into their laps instead ; and
Live and Let Live."
PA., SATURDAY, MARCH 11, 1882.
jnst ns ono dignified old geutVman was
raising the c floe-cup to his lips as sol
cinulyas if he were taking poison, the
ship gave a su-'d n lurch and llio boiling
c' ffeo flew liko n fountain jet into bis
spotless shirt front, making him wriggle
like a speared oil.
Hut by the mornlnR of the fourth day
the galo seMnetl to have pptiit its force
nnd we wero enabled to tutu ohr atten
tion once more to the mysterious passen
ger, hbd his r qually mysterious bci.
The former seemed qtilto as anxious to
preserve himself from contact with any
thing on board as he had been to preserve
his package, for he never spoke to any
one, and always answered as shortly as
possible (when he nnswered at all) when
nny ono spoke to him.
As for the box itvelf, it was a greater
pnzzle than ever. Tho steward repotted
that he had warned tbem so earnestly
against touching It, or even going near
It, as to Imply that the contents, what
ever they might bp, were something very
dangerous indeed. Bat, ns if he had his
doubts whether even the fear of some un
known peril would be strong enough to
keep them from meddling with the pro
clous package, If they got Ihe chance, he
spent most of his time below, and, as he
had taken a whole slaterorm for himself,
or, rather, for himself and bis box, there
was no risk of any one disturbing him
there.
"I think he's a Fenian carrying over
one of those dynamite torpedoes to Liver
pool," said n young British officer, home
ward bound from Canada.
"More likely a bank clerk, absconding '
with specie," grunted a big, red faced
cotton spinner from Lancashire,
"Box ain't heavy rnongh for that," ob
jected a lanky New Yorker.
"Perhaps, after all it's nothing more
wonderful than a rare statue or picture
for some museum.1'
Everyone looked disappointed, for this
last idea, which had somehow rifver oc
curred to Up, now seemed natural and
likely enough, and it was a sad come
down after all our romantlo imaginings.
But jnst then a new turn was given to
the conversation by a long, wiry, keen
eyed Cape Codder.whohad hitherto been
perfectly silent. Taking bis short pipe
out of his mouth, he said slowly and em
phatically. "Tttiu't that , boys j but I reckon I could
tell yer what it is."
"What? What?" cried every one, eag
erly. "A baby,'1 nnswered tbo Yankee, with
the solemuity of perfect conviction.
At this there was a shout of laughter so
uproarious that n passing steward peered
amazedly into the smoking room to see
what all the filu could bo about. Bnt the
gentleman from Cape Cod was not a whit
abashed.
"Lingh as much sis yon like, boys:
but, what I say I stick to. Every d.iy.
reg'ler nt breakfast and at tea, I've seen
that air critter, after he'd had his shrre,
start for his stateroom with a cup of milk
and a hunk o' bread, nnd if that don't
menn a baby somewhar rouu', I'm a Mix-
IkiiiJ"
There was a general start, for we now
remembered to have seen the stranger do
this and wondered that we bad not no
ticed it before.
Fpr a few moments every ono was in
high glee at the apparent solution of the
riddle; but the remorseless New Yorker
speedily blighted our new-born happi
ness. "Guess you're considerable ont there,
stranger," objected he. "For the baby
that could be four days aboard ship, or
anywhere else,eitber, without raising one
squall, has got to be discovered yet. I've
got three of 'em myself, and I guess I
ought to know."
Tbis unanswerable argument threw ns
all back to where we were before, and a
sullen silence followed, broken nt length
by a dashing ynung sophomore from
Harvard one of the brightest and bold
est spirits of onr company.
"Baby or no baby," said he firmly,
I'm bound to get at the ins nnd outs ot
this job, somehow. Either I'll know
what's inside that box before it goes
ashore, or I'll never wear the crimson of
old Harvard again!''
But this valiant pledge seem? likely to
go unredeemed, after all; for as If the
man of mystery had known of the plot
hatching against him, ha seemed to be,
if .possible, more vigilant than ever.
Day followed day, until at length we
came in sight of Queenstown, where the
stranger was to land, nnd the secret of
the box was a secret still.
Bat tha time camo at last. Breakfast
was hardly over that morning, when a
steward (sent on purpose by the Ingeni
ous sophomore) tapped at the door of the
stranger who bad retired as usual with
his milk and bread announcing that the
captain wanted him. Scarcely had he
disappeared when the Harvard youth
popped into his room.
The next moment a terrible cry startled
us all, rushing to the spot, we found the
znystio box open, and the sophomore
struggling in the coils of a huge black
and white snake.
For a moment all was confusion, but
the strauger, who had jnst returned,
sprang like lightning to the breakfast
table, filled a cup with milk and set it in
front of the snake. Instantly the Utter
unwound ftself from its captive, who reel
ed helpUssly against the wull.
"You re more frightened than hnrt,
young fellow," said his rescuer, coolly,
"for this suake's quite a harmless sort
and as lame as a pet cat in the bnrgain
I kept him dark while I could, for I
didn't want him hnrt, after atnmpin' ail
Louisiana to get him for the London Zo
ological, but you'd best not touch him
again, for his breed is mighty fond of a
fool, aud I guess that's why he was so
spry to get hold of you."
We like to see niuiu bo regular in
his habits that getting up half an hour
earlier than common to bail water out of
tho oellar will make him sick.
iiillWStl
1.00 a
If
INTENSELY UTTER.
A few mouths ago tbo dnughtcrf a
Itockland man, who had grown comfort
ably well off in the small grocery line,
was sent away to n "feaalo colli ge," aud
last week she arrived homo nn vacation.
The old nun was at the station hen the
train arrived, with tho old horso and the
delivery wagon to convey his daughter
nnd her trunk to the house. When th
train had stopped, a bewitching array ol
dry goods and a wide btlm hat dashed
from the car and flung itself into the
elderly party's arms.
'Why you superlatively pal'' Bhe ex
claimed. "I'm ever so utterly tud to
see you."
The old man was somewhat unnerved
by the greeting, but he recognized the
seal-skin cloak in his grip ns the identi
cal piece of property ho bad paid fot with
the bay mare, and he sort of squat it np
In his arms, nnd planted a kiss where it
would do the most good with a report
that sounded above the noise of the depot,
In a brief space of timo tht trunk and
its nntendant baggage were loaded into
the wagon, which was soon bumplfg over
the hubbies toward home.
"Fa, dear,"' saitl the young mlsi, snr-
veying the team with a critical eye, "do
you not consider this quite excessively
beyond ?"
'Hey?" returned tho old man with n
puzzled sir; "quite excessively beyond
what? Beyond Warren I consider it-
somewhat ten miles beyond Warren.
counting from '.ho B.ith way, if that's
what you mean."
Ob, no, pal you don't Understand
me," the daughter explained; "I mean
this wagon and horse. Do you think
they nro soulful? do you think they
could be studied apart iu the light of a
symphony, or eveu a simple poem, and
appear as intensely utter to one em re
turning home an one could cxpresi?"
The old man twisted uneasily iu his
seat, and uttered something about he be
lieved it used to be ned for au'exprecs
before he got it to deliver pork in, but
tho conversation seomed to ha traveling
li such a lonesome direction that he
fetched the horse a resounding crack on
the rotunda, and the severe jolting over
tbe frozen ground prevented further re
marks. "Ob, there's that lovely and consum
mate mat" screamed the returned cnllegl
atess, as they drew up it tho door, and
presently she was lest in the embrace of
a motherly woman in spectacles.
"Well, Maria," said the old man at the
tea table, as he nippod a piece of butter
off the lump with his own knife, "an" how
do ye u like your school?"
"Well", there pa, upw .you're shou I
mean I consider it far. loo beyond," re
plied the daughter. ''It is nuquenchab
ly inaffecllrg I mrnngrand--so exqnii
ite so intense. And then the parlies,
tha ba 1, ihe rides oh, the pait weuks
have been one of sublime harmony "
"I s'pnse so I h'pose ro," nervously
assented the old man, as, hi reached for
his third cup. "Half full. But how
about your books reauin', wriliu',- gram
mar, rule o' throe how about them?''
"Pa, don't!" exclaimed the daughter,
reproachfully! "The rule of three? Gram
mah? It is French and music nnd paint
ing and the divine in art that have made
my school life the boss I meau that have
rendered It one unbroken flow of ryth
mic bliss incomparably und exquisite
nil but."
Tho gorcery man and his wife looked
helplessly at each other across tho table.
"How do you. liko the biscuits Maria?"
"They are too ntter for anything,''
gushed tho accomplished young lady,
"and this plum preserve is simply a poem
in Itself."
Tbe old man rose abruptly from the
table, and went out of tbe room, rubbing
his head iu a dazed and benumbed man-
and the nins convention was dis
solved. That night he and bis wile sat
nlone by the stove until a late hour, nnd
nt the breakfast tabln tho.iieit morning
he rapped smartly on hU plate
with the handle of his knife, and Bald;
Marin me an' your mothi r have been
talkiu' the ttln J over, and we've coiup to
the conclusion that this boarding school
Ltibiueis is utterally nil but loo much
ronsense. lie nn lier consider that we
haven't lived sixty odd consummate years
for the purposo ot raisin' n curiosity, nn'
there's going to be n stop put to this tin.
quenchablo foolishness. Now, after you
have finished eatin' that poem of fried
sausage and that symphony of twisted
doughnut you take nn' dust np stairs in
loss'n two seconds and peel off that utter,
ally fancy gown and put on an exquisite
caliker, an' then come down an' help
yonr mother wash those divine and irre
proachably dishes. I want it distinctly
understood that there aiu't goiu' to. bo
any mora tythmio foolishness iu this
house so long as your superlative pa an'
your lovely nnd consumnnto ma's ruu
ning this incomparable and excessively
beyond ruueh. D'ye hear me, Maria? '
Maria was listening.
THIS IS A SOCIETY ITUM.
Two young men went to Henderson' to
see the Misses Jones, two estimablii
young ladies. A colored girl come to the
door, aud the following conversation
took place;
"Are tbe Misses Jones in?"
"Yes, Mrs, Jones am in. Docs you
want to seo her?"
"No, we wnut to see Misses Jones,"
"Mm. Jouca dat'a what 1 said,"
"We want to see the Misses Jones,
can't you understand?''
"Oouish I kin. De Mrs. Joues am de
old lady, Dat'a da only Missus iu dis
heah bouse."
"Confound it, we want to see tho old
lady'a daughters!"
"Ob, dj Misses Jonesesl Why dnlu':
yoa say so? I reckon you'sebof drunk.
When a man owes a debt and refa-en
to pay more tban half of it, ha rails Iho
arrangement a compromise with his cr.d
iUrs. The creditors c-,11 it a s-tim'h-.
TeaTlFPnid, in Advance.
not paid.in advance, $1.2.5
' THE DEAI1 WITNESS.
The recent proceediu,;s lu Ihe Police
Court In San Francisco vera enlivened
by an intellectual contest bc-tweeu a wit
ness, who claimed to be deaf, nnd one of
the most experienced legal Iuut'rua that
aided the .court iu each search lor justice.
"You are deaf, are you?" shouted the
attorney. "Yes, sir," answered the witness.
"Can't hear nt all?" continued the at
torney, casting Lis wtlbkuoan sec-me-Catch-him-look
upon tbe prosecuting at
torney. "lean hear n little," replied the wit-
ness.
'Can yon hear a watch tick?" asked the
lawyer, in a lower tone.
'I can, when I hold it close to my
ear," came tho answer.
Thereupon the legal gentleman look a
ponderous six ounce silver I line engine
from his fob, aud handing It to thu wit
ness, directed him to hold it to hh ear.
Do you hear It lick?" came the qnes-
llou ia a tone a little louder than the or
tlinary.
"No, sir," promptly responded tha wit
ness.
"Can't hear it at all?" persisted the
lawyer, speaking almost in nn undertone.
I cannot sir, promptly answered the
witness.
Tho lawyer's faro began to shine like
Solomon' Temple iu a sunset, as ho
reached for his uatoh, remarking to the
witness, "but you can understand me
quite icadily, om you?"
"What's that sit?'' gasped the witness
suddenly recovetlng himself.
Your Honor," said the lawyer, "it is
evident that this man ran hear well., He
is Imposing on the court."
The lawyer was about to return his
watch to his pocket, having previously
opened it to note the time, when he sud
denly started. He held his watch to his
ear, Itokfd at it, and shook it
"Your Honor," he remnrked, with an
apologetic glanco at the witness, "I was
mistaken: the man is deaf. My watch
has stopped becauso it is not wound."
A few moments later the examination
of tbe witness was taken up by the attor
ney, who almost bnrst his diaphragm in
his efforts to make himself unccrstood y
.tho now consistently deaf witness.
A MATTER OF BUSINESS.
Yon wero out Into last tight, dear,"
said Mrs. Breezy, taking her seat at the
breakfast table and fumbling nervously
with her fork.
'Ob, 410," said Mr. Breezy, "it wasn't
late. You see, darling, you were asleep
when I camo in "
No, Mr. Breezy, I was not asleep, but
as you (-ay it was not lulo. Nothing will
cot vince ycii that' tho clock struck three
as you closeit the hall dorr- Of course
business detained you, my dear. It is
wotideifnl how much business a man will
fiud to transact after mid tight, but of
course we women know nothing about
such things. We never can understand
you men, can we dear? We are always
imagining all sorts of horrible things
wlien you l.appcu to stay away a day or
two without sending us a line, Wbrcen
are eo nervous, aro they not, deal? What
tilly creatures we are. to be snre. If we
would only go to bed and go to sleep it
would savo.us a world of trouble would
n't it? We might know that you great,
strong men can take care of yourselves.
If you are obliged to sit up until two or
three o'clock in tbe morning talking busi
ness with your customers, it is really un
grateful q us to complain, for of course
you have the worst of it, don't you dar
ling? How it must have bothered you
and how tired yon must get, nnd think it
is all for our s.akeg. When you come
totterfng home, so tired that yon can
hardly get op stairs, and throw yourself
oil the bed without even tbe strength to
remove yonr bonis, we should appreciate
your devotion in limn laboring to sup
port us. Now, last night, dear, when
you stumbled over the rocking chair aud
found yourself obliged to cling to tie
head board to support your weary form,
you presented a really sad example of tbe
overworked husband and father. When
your shattered nerves caused you to up
set my fresh bottle of cologne and scat
tered tbe .contents of my work basket
over the floor, you really looked the typi
cal martyr pf jnitrleil life. Of course
you do not remember it, dear. Yon were
too tiled and worn out with that horrid
customer to r'ttnembtr anything."
HOW HANY,
How ruauy apples did Adam and Eve
oat? Some s.iy Eve 8 nnd Adam 2, n to
tal of 10 only. ' Now we figure the thing
out differently. Ere 8 aud Adam B ulso;
total. 10. '
We think' the above figures entirely
wrong. If Eve 8, nud Adam 8 2, certain
ly Ihe totsl wMl be .00,, Pcfcnllfio men
however, ou the strength of the, theory
that the AiilediluvUiiH were a race of
giants, reason something like this: Eve
8 1 nud Adam 8 3, tbe total 1C3. Wrong
ai;ain. What could be clearer than" if
Eve 8 1 aud Adam 8 12, the total was
893.
If Eve 8 1 1st, and Adam S 1 'J, would
not tbe total be 1,023?
llsrry B. Hudson sayitEve 814 Adam,
and Adam 8 121 Eve; together they got
awuy with 8,03a.
Bnt II. C. c-troug says if Eve 8 1
Adam, Adam 8 1 2, 1 2 obliga Eve; total
82,056
We think this however, not a sufficient
qnautity, for, though we admit that Evq
fi 1 1 Adam, Adjm, if he. 8 0 2 8 1 2. i to
keep Evii company; total, bO,2S2,036.
Ail wrong, Evrf, wjion she 8 1,812
many, and piohi,bl Ml sorry for (t, but
her coiujsiiiinn, in i-rder to Telmv-Ver
Horrow, 8 12. Therefore, Adam if he
8 J, 8 1 4 2 tO fr Eve's ilprtbsed sp,li.
H-lire, both ate 81.800,801 iippUu. Thel
uwl.
r
The prjptj of a 2-y-ir old tame Iwnrl
lu JiiciiigHU la iiitly fiot and they art) a
K-Miroa of fjreat j -y in a family itb mi
lrflaous tiffiull chUJrfn.
The Carbon Advocate.
An Independent .Family Newspaper
.Publish pvery ; ATOItDAY, In
LsliiahUn,,Oarb)u Co., Pa., by
-h AiiftY-vr rcimxiimriii.
jjrnr-BA,"K.WAY,, lintt.dlstaiK abtv
Ihe Lehigh Valley It. II. Depot.
Terms: $1.00 rerAiiiinm in Adyance
Kntar ctscsntloK op rui.v akb rAttcT
J ob Printing
at vi:nv r.oW pkici.s.
"YES, Sill, I'D SHOOT HIM I"
Six or eight ec'li'eliia) tpir s sr.t
around u stove in a Gtaid River grocery
the other uiglU, and n-iti r seven 1 other
subject hml been exhausted, sonro cms
lutrodaeeil -that nf panics in cbnubis,
theatrvs and lolls. Tl.l gv Mr. nope
well a chancer In remark!
'Gsntlemiu, I just long to be there."
. "Wher.?'
i'Why, in one of those panics. Yen,
sir, I'd uivo 3 now twenty d'.lllr bill to
be iu tbe theatre one .night when there
there was an becaaiou for a panic.''
"Wbj?"
"Why, because ono' cool, lovel-bearTert
mm could stop thei thing as easily as you
couldjc-ud up that ba n I uf flour."
"Will, I unno nhnnt that," observed
one or the sitters. "There Is something
awful in the cry of fire, and hear It where
and when yon ra iy,il startles and fright
ens. What would you do in a theatre iu
caso there was il cry of fire and a msl V
"I'd stand upon my seat, pall n revel
ver from my pocket, and shout out thi t
I'd shoot tbe first man who attempted to
crowd or rush. One cool man would
check the panio in ten seconds."
While the subject was being continued
the grocer went to tbe rear end of tbe
store, poured a little powder on a board,
gave three or fonr men the wink. Direct
ly there was a bright flash, yells of
"Firil"nud "Powdeil" anil every man
spmbg up and rnahed. Hopincll didn't
spring up nnd talk of shootlog. On the
coulr.try, he fell over a lot of baskets
piled butweeu him and the door, got up
to plough his way over a rack .of brooms,
and when he reached the sidewalk he was
nn all fours, white as a ghost, and so
frightened that he never looked back un
til be reached tho opposite side of the
strict,
Sept. Hth, 18SA.
ITor IlitTRBS Co., TonnxfOi
I hare been sick for the past six yesrsuf
ferlng from dyspepsia and general weakness,
I have used three (mules' ul Hop Bilters.and
they have done wonders for me. I am well
and able l work, ami rut ami sleep well. I
cannot say too much for Hop Bitters.
Bitiiou Robblns.
A water-spout A temperance ora
Hon;
A gont like many peoplc.tlways puts
in many "bn'.a."
The fellow who was much struck by
a young1 lady wanted toetunt a kiss for
a blow.
Experience the Best Quids.
Tbo reason why women every where use
Parker's Ginger Tonio Is, bef-ause they have
learned by experionee tbe best guide
that Ibis excellent medicine overcomes des
pondency, periodical boitdaclio, indlirestiou,
pnin In the back ami kidnevs, and other
troubles of the eex.Jfomc Journal.
Tbe man who "breathed his last"
must have been a shoemaker.
The land speculator is always ready
to show the sites to his customers.
The young mati who runs after n
sherry cobbler ' wTH' never (jet his shoes,
mended,
a
Overworked men and women, persons
of sedentary habits, sntl others whose sys
tem needs recuperation, are often cured by
Brown's Iron Bitters.
';May Heaven preserve your eye
sight I" said a beggar woman to a man
with n email noso who had just given her
gratuity. "Why?" he asked. "Be
... ....
cause, snlil she, "you vono nose to lioIU
your spectacles."'
"Golden Medical Discovery" (words res'
istered as a trade-mark) cures all humors
from the pimple or eruption to great viru
lent eating ulcers.
The rnllinrhlo. doeVnot stop at whey
lutlons. Except to take water.
-Any coward ran commit suicide It
takes a bnwe man to live on and faco
trouble.
The "Favorite Prescription" of Dr. Pierce
cures "leinsin weakness" aud kindred af
fections. By druggists.
AH things seem easy to the man who
has never tried to do anything.
The only way to mak n boy sit stilt
is to tell hint not to stop sqnirmiug.
"Throw Fbysio to the Dogs, I'll None pf H "
Wo ili not fre-ldihei blaming Macbeth for
this expression of difgust. Even nowadays
'most of' the' cathartics are great repulsive
pills, enough to "turn brio's stomach." Had
Macbeth ever taken Dr. Pierce's "Purfotlva
I'ollels" be wouid not have uttered those
words of contempt. By druggists.
Ayonng man who had parted with
his girl, burnt up all her love letters a few
days ago, and was surprised to fiiid that
the chimney' wOnldu't draw. Upon as
cending to the Mof he '.ound that it was
covered with u thick covering of taffy.
Delroit'Free Press.
Mrs. C. Whipple, 3T Croghan strel,pra
senls'tliesA farts i For six years I had suf
lerod beyond all expression wjlh .Bristle.
Rheumatism and Irisd every known rem.
rdy.butitll ln purpose. At last I saw
in the Fru Prs an advertisement of tha
6u Jacob's Oil, tried it and am well, I can
walk without limping and sleep, free from
any pain.
A'slcepTrla oneTwCo sleeps ; a sleep
er is ulso a pi low where n sleeper can
sleep; and ajdoeper is. too, a thing over
uhlch runs the sleeper iu which tha
sleeper aleeps; so that tho sleeper ju tb
sleeper sleeps whifu the sleeper runs on
as well as sometimes leaps off the traok.
Guard Against DUsaie.
. If Tru fiiid uiircl getting bilious, head
hmvy-y-,iwUU-(.uie,vrf yellow, kidneys
.lis-inlere,!, syrnpUinis of (nits tormenting
you', take at mini VfrW ilosei of Kidney
Weill. II is nililtus crest assistant, use.
lumun advaneo guifnt don't wait to get
di'iwu sick, ite ad.
s Joy is the filling that yon. are better
off thau your nnftibbcr.
A man lni knovts a good doll about
the HU ot 1 if -Tin) (Victor.
A' new-. Hern states that" a man died
Aiililinfy j'uit "&ttjr signing tbe temper
anew plogI.tt'hi,inVral of this Is not Id
furor ertlw,!ifi(K.drlBker. It merely
sboas tluti Ui iu.au sh uld hive sign4
the ph-dji" svia-u ho wdj k boy.