Advertising Rates,
We desire It to bo distinctly understood
irmt no advertisement will be Inserted In
the columns of TitH Cannon AdvocATS that
may be received from unknown parties or
firms unless accompanied by the cash.
Tlio following are our o.tbt terms!
OS It BQUABfi (10 1.1.13),
One ycari each Inscrllon.mm 10 cts.
Six months, each Insertion, IS cts.
Thrco months, each Insertion 20 cts.
Less than'tli res months, fifst Insertion
$11 each subsequent Insertion 25 cts.
Local notices 10 cents per line.
It, V. MOUTH IMEB, Publisher.
CARDS.
Hoot ntt Shoe MnVers.
Ctlaton nrstney, in Levan't 6niWi'nj,Unk ilreet.
Allorderi promptly filltlmrk warran led.
Attorneys.
JOIIS KLINE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Offlf 0 With Allen Craig, opposite American Ho
tel, MARKET SQUARE,
MACCH CnUNK, PA JnlyS'Mr
JOHN D. UEltTOLETTE,
Attorney aud CoimsKLLon at Law,
llroadway and Nnwinehanna Streets. Opposite
Court llon-e.
MATJC1I CHUNK, I"A.
Mav be consulted In Oormun. tnaiSS-ly
l LONUSTUEET,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Levsn's Mulldlng,
ANK STREET, LEIIIOIITON. I-A.
rjP(.ember lG-Gm. .
yr M. KAP8IIKM,
ATTOItNKY AND COONSBtLOR AT LAW,
Bask 3TaicT,LiHiaHTo!,P.
ItealKntata and Collection Aiieocv. Will Duyund
Sell ILal Ktale. ConveyanidnK .leally done Col
eetlona promptly made. Settling Ktte of D.
dent a upecUtty. May be consulted In Knllsfa
nd Uerman. Ncv.22.
JAS. R. STIUlTilKllS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
V Offices 2 floor of Rhoad'a Hall,
nianoH Oliunk. Pa.
All linnlneni entrusted to him will be promptly
atteuded to.
MavS7, ly.
p j. air nn rc
ATTORNEY AT LAW
NextnoortoKlrit National Dark,
MUICIt CHUNK, PA.
AWCm beonulled In German. janO.
Justices and Insurance
py A. Ut3l.Tr, ,
JUSTICE OF THE FEACE,
OrriCEi Llndormnn'n Itlnrk. BANK-Strcct.
LriiiaiiTo.i, ra.
Conveyancing. Cotlestlmr and all other bnsl
Dea4 connected with tho ofllce promptly attend,
ed to Agent tor the beat Fire and l ife Inanr
ance Compinte t Rents collected at reasonable
chamcs, Ac. ArrlilVyl
rjlHOMAS 8. PBCK,
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE.
BANK Street, LWIiailTON, Pa.
CunTeyaiirlng, Collecting and all business eon
oected with the office promptly attended to,
jBVAaent for flrnt-elami Insurance tympanies,
md Itlflcs of all klods taken on the moot liberal
terine. Jan. 9, 1675.
rpwosiAS KE.iii3Ri:n,
JL conveyancer,
AND
GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT
The fallowing Companies are Uepreaeuted:
LrSllAIy JN MUTUAL FIRE,
11EAI)10 MUTUAL FIUE,
WYOMING KIltE.
POTTrtVILt.H FIRE,
LEIItnii FIltK.andtheTRAV
EI.EIfJ ACCIDENT INSURANCE,
Alao Pennsvlvanli and Mntunl Ilorso Tliiel
Detective and Insurance Cnropanv.
Marco . 1871 THUS. KEMERER.
Pliysicians and Dentists.
-y ,y. nEBER, M. D.,
OFFICB-Rcber'a Block, II ANK STREET,
LEIIIOIIION, Penna.
Residence....! rora 7 a. sn. to 10 a. m ,
HOURS.) and 12 noun to 10 p. in,
) Parryvlllo ..from to a.m. to VI noon,
Vav be consuttod In the Qerman Language.
Novembers'), IS'Syl
QIIAS. T. IIOUN, M. !.,
OFFICII I OVER II. A. PETER'S PitUO
STORE, BANK ST., LEIIIQIITON, PA.
General practice attended to, and SPKCIAI
ATTENTION GIVEN TO DISEASES OF
WOMEN. inarSJ.I878.yl
TT A. DKflllAMKIt, M,D,,
rllYSICIAN AND Sl'RQEON
Special attention paid to Chronle DlaeiMi.
OtTlce: South Kait corner Iron and 2nd sta.. Le-
bllhlon, I'a. April 3, 1875.
PHYSICIAN AND 8UR0E0N,
Next lo E. 11. Snyder's core, I)AJK ST.,
LEIIIQIITON. PENN'A.
N.B. Spoclal attention given to the Cnreot
Salt Hbeutu. Ac. Jan 13 y
JSq B. UKIlElt, M. D.
V. S. Kxamlnlug Surgeon,
PRACTICING PUYSICJIAN and SU 110 EON,
Officii Hank Street, Iieiieb's BLOCK, Lehigh
ton. Pa.
May be consulted In the Germ in Language.
Nov. 1878
Livery & Sale Stables
UANIC8TllkCET.L,KIIIGIITOW, Pa
FAST TROTTING HORSES,
ELEGANT CARRIAGES,
And positively LOWER PRICES than any
other Livery In the County.
Large and handaome Carriages for Faneral
nnrn.u, anrt IV&MU,. n . irr ri vn.ivna
Nov.::. 1 87 j.
BAYARD TAYLOR
Ways i "I take great pleasure In recommending
to parents tne Academy ot Mr 8.0 Mwirtlidge."
Kan. Fernando Wood, a patron earn "I cheer
fnllv consent v the naa ot my name aa reter.
nee." (.0 pel qr lull eon fur young men and
!?!, No Extra Charge-. Special tleutiom to
bothadvaneeuand backwirn ii'ipils. lteoom.
mended br Judge Van lloaaeu iter Dra. Hill
and fejbvlr. Artdrca MWINTIIIAN O
MIIORILIDAE (Harvard A M.I Mr.Hn. Fa
Media haa 7 cburchea and a temperanoe charier
Aug, 17, IMS .w-4
LIVE AGENTS WANTED
Toaall Dr. Chase's Recipe, t or Information
for Even body, in every county In the United
H.atea.nd Canada. Kalaignl by the pub Lb.
er to U pane. It eaniun. overSOUlbouwbi.ld
mine an I Is suited to all dastea and condi.
tlou of aoueiy, A wonndenul book and a
lioasebold BeeeMlty. It Mil at slicbt. OreaU
est ladaeemruta ever offered to bok ajrenta
H.mnle copies ent by mall, Poatpstil. tor 11 00.
Kiela.ire temuiry slveu. AitDti nra tban
doable tb'ir money. Addre Dr. I'aaae'tbleam
I'rlnllof House, Ann Arbor, lirftlr.n
OH. 19-wll.
II. V. MoiiTniMEU, Proprietor. INDEPENDENT" Live aild Let Live." $1.00-n Year if Paid in Advance.
VOL. VII., No. 5. LEIIIGHTON, CARBON COUNTY, PA., SATURDAY, DECaSMBER 28, 1878. Ifnotyaid in advance, 1.25.""
ieaaaaanaanaaaaMtMaaMaagaMaaaMaat mmnmmmmlimmmltmwmmtlKfliMtttnmmmam ; I I I i I
Railroad Guide.
N
ORTII I'KNJt A. RAILROAD .
Passengers for Phl'arJolohla leave Lehighton
n. tnllntv. I
3: 2 am., via. L. V. arrive at Phlla, at 0:40 a in.
:il2ain. via L. V.
lli'i a. m.
2 05 p.m.
8ii5p. m.
lUi'X) a. to.
11)0 a. m.
2:03 p. m.
6:40 p. m.
lirOI ft.ro. via L.V. "
4: a, m., via L. V., "
;:.17 a in., via L. V..
7:47 a. m .via 1,. A. 6 ,
111 17 a. Ill,, via L. A S.,'
2:26 lm. via L.AS. 11
km p. m.
Sua o. ni.
Koiurntng. leave depot at Berk. andAtncrt
on St.. l'lu.a., at 7:on, 8:18 and ri'5 a. ni.i 2:30.
6:i0n.l t: On m, ELLIS CLAHK, Agent.
nov. 13. 1878
PIIII.A. 4b RBADIKO RAILROAD.
Arrangement of Pniscnger Trains.
NOVEMBER IPTIt. 1878.
Trains leave AL LUN TO W N as Mlowst
(VIA rBKKlOMSN nUANCII.)
For Phllndclphla.at 4:2, 11.40. a.m.. and
6 51 p.m.
SUNDAYS.
For Philadelphia at 4.2a a, m.,3.83 n. m.
IVIA F.AfiC l'FNNA. HUANCU.l
For Re idlng, 1 2-30, 5.50, 0 01 u m 12.18, 2 10. 4.30
ai;tl n 05 p.m.
For ILurisDiirg. 2.8)8 50, 9.05 a.m., 12.15, 4.30
u.ui p. m.
For Laticastor and Columbia, 5 53, 9.9? a.m. and
4 30 p. ra
IDoes not run on Monday.
t-UNDAYB.
For noadlns. 2 30 a.m. aud 0 05 p m.
For 11 irrtatiurg. 2.? i a. in. mid u 05 n. ro.
Trains FOR ALLENTOWN leave as lolhwa:
(VIA l'RHKIOMKM lltlANCM.1
Leavo Phltadelpblu, 7.4i u. tu., l.ou, "1.30 jnc 6.30
U. 1U.
SUNDAYS.
Leive Pbllndelpliln, s.'" , m. and 3 15 p. ro.
(VIA EAST PKNNA nllANCII I
Zxnta Rcafllng. 7.41. 7.4S, 10.8.1 n ni., 4.05,0.15 and
10.45 ii m
Iave llnrtlsburg, S.20, 8 10 a. ra., and 2,00. 4.00
nn" i.o-i p. ra.
Leave Lnncatter, 8.10 a. m., 12.S-1 and 3.15 p. m.
Leave Columbia 8.')a. m, M0 and 3.35 p. ra.
SUNDAYS.
Leavo Roadlng. 7.20 a. m.
Leavo ItarrUiiurg,5.2ia.m.
Tralns,niaikod thus t) run to and from depot
9th and O recti etreets, l'lillidnlphti other
trains to and lrom Broid street depot.
TOO0..V1 ii. m and ,55 ti. m. trains from Allen.
town, and the 7.45 a.m and 6.31 p.m. trnina
from Plitlnileiptmi, bavo through cars to and
troiu Philadelphia.
J. K. WOOTTUN.
Oeiie'Ol llanacer.
O O. IIANCOCK, Otn'l Tiek-et Agent.
PENNSYLVANIA KAILR0AI).
GREAT TRUNK LINE
AND
United States Mail Route.
Thoattentifin nf this iravrlloff puMio I "res
pectfully liiTltcd"tommonf the mrritni thlt
cn at hlshwav. In thn enntidpnt rnportion and
belief t hut no other llnuiati tiLTreqtinl iniluco
luetiti oa a route ot throiiKli traveL In
Construction & Equipment
the
Pennsylvania Railroad
Und confessedly at Uiohend of American rail
ways The track U double tho entire Irngih of
tlielmn, othteel rails laid on heavy onk 10a,
which an embedded In n founi'aitoii of rock
last eiff.iteou 1 ches Indepih. All brlilccanio
of Iron or atone, mid tint t upo i the iooetan.
piove.l plans. It iias-eiii;er tars, while emtn
eutly nuie and substentUl, a'-l at the same time
mode a ot cotufoi t and elepance.
The Safety Appliances
n ne on this tine well tlln'trato the far-neeinR
and liberal oolicy ot U matiaireraent. lu accord
auce wttli winch thn i tllltv only of an imp!OV'
incut and notlt1 otHt ban been the qursilon or
cona-deratlun. AmouR man may be noticed the
Mock System of Safety SknnLs,
Jtinuey Coupler, ttuflcr & lJlntform,
T1IK WUArtlON PtTBXr SWITCH,
AM) THIS
Westinghouso Air-Brake,
fotmlnjf In conjunction with a perfect double
tracK road bed a combination of HafeAunrtUu
eutnt aecldent which have rendered ihetn
practlcatly in possible
Piillniiin Palace Cars
Are run on all EipriwTtalns
FROM NEW YORK. PIIILADA. RALTI-
MOIlKan.l WAalllNuroN,
ToCIHOAllO, CINCINNATI. LdUISVILLa
INDIANA I'ULIB and HT. LOUID,
WITHOUT CHANGE,
and to nil principal points in the fir Went ntd
South with iutonociaiifTootcars. connections
are made In Union Depots, aud are Obsnred to
all Important points.
THE SCENERY
Of tho Pennsylvania Route
la admitted to bo unsurpassed In thewrldfnr
K undent, beauty and variety, buperlur Ro
i&buient tHCtr.nes are piouiled. Kmployees
are courteous ami attentive, and It n mi Inevlt.
aole result tliat a trip by ibo Pennsylvania
Railroad niUEt form a
lieaslng' mill Jlomorablo Experience.
TicLita for aaleat the lowest rates at the
Ticket Offlccj 01 tho Company In all luipoitani
cities an, tuwnt.
FRANK THOMTSON, L. P. PARMER,
Gen. Manager, Gen. Pan. A rem.
J. K. SltOCMAKKlt, Pas.Ave' t MiddteDlst.
12 Nort.i Tluru tit., Ilarrlsburi;, Pa.
m M York Sou for 1879.
Tub bun will bo pi intod every day durinc tho
rear to come. Its put pose una method will be
the name in the pjsti lo preenc all the
ni'Wi ia a readable stt pe, and to tell the truth
thoujrli the heaven's lull.
'1 uk fL'N ha been, la, and will continue to be
independent or evcivbodr mid very t ulna "ave
the Truth and us own conviction oi dutr. 1 hat
i the only policy which an houcat newspaper
neeil have. Ihat is ine poncv which hai won
(or tins newspaper the confidence and fneud.
shin ota wlrter constituency thin wu.nipr m.
Joyed by any other American Journal.
iiib avn is iiiu newspaper lor tne peoo'e. it
Is no i for the rich man pallet the poi,r man, or
for tho poor man eeutuib the rich man, but it
seeks tu do equal Jutice to all inter sla lu the
Cciniiiuiilty. It isiiot theorvan of anv pemm,
claiw, seel or p.iitv. There med be no mystery
about its loves and hates. It 1 fur the hoaet
mau ualiist the i-oues every iiuio. H U lor
the honest Semociat as a train at the dishonor!
llepubtlcau, and for Uih hoiitst itepuidlcan aa
aeuinvt the dishonest Democrui. It doen not
takelu cue iroui the i tierauces of any politi
cian or imlitlc-l oruanliation. It (rives t sup.
poit uniejirveily when men oriueaiures te fu
atrieeuientwuh the Constitution and with the
principle npon wliieh tlin ltepub.lc was lonud.
ed Tor tJio iwopic. Wnenevt-r the Constitution
andconuautional priuclple aro violated-aslu
tleou(raireoascunp.racv ot 1876, by which a
ni-u not elected wan placed lu the 1'resiu cut's
fflce, whero he still remain it speaks out lor
toe nabi. That Is Tuk "L.Vg 1 Ua ol ltidpeu
dence. lnthHrepo.t there will be no change
In Its prrjrrnmma fur 1679.
Tim kun has fulny eained the hearty hatred
of racaU, f i and and huuibursof all totts and
slses It hopes tcdeerve that bitred uot.eii lu
the yor lt7ii, thnu In ibV, tt77, orauv year coue
by. IUKpUN Is printed for the meu and voieeu
of todav, whoseconceiu tschh fly with the at
tatra ol to cay. Ii bna both tae iti-pondon and
ability to afford llaredeis the pimuplesi lutJuftt
and moil nccuraie luiell Kence of whatever In
the wme wor.U is WiTih uttent'ou. To ibis end
the resources bcloDjtiimjto well.ee tablUhed pr'
perltv will be liberally elUO'Oyed.
Tne iirtteut dJuluUHl condition of parties In
this country, ami the uucerumtv of ihu future,
lend aa exiraurdiuaiy if;ulUcance to the evuuu
of tUe coming year 'loprviteut with accn
rao and cl. arneas ibe exsct situation in each of
1 1 vaa.njrpmue'.uiidtoeipcnii aecortilna; to
Itawel known method i, tli pr.ncipiea tuat
should KUide us tUioum the labyrinth. Mill be
an liuiort.iLt i art of Tit is bUVa work fur 1V7J.
we have ihe means to mike TUB BUN, aa a
po'ltioii. a literary aud a Keuerat new pa per.
t btloroj aud wo mean to apply tbein lieelv.
uur ui Buuscriiuiuu leuiain uncnungei.
For the UiiLV eu.N.u tour page sheet ot t tutv
elehi CQiumus. the price by uuii. postpmd, M
t-euu a mouth, or fi.50 a year t or, luciudtnic the
Hunday paper, auelKUt-aaue sheet of fliiy-alx
coluuiuMae prlceisCjceuisa month, or(7,7ua
year, posUse pjld.
'i he buudity coltioa of TUB BUN is alio fur.
ntshed separately at i,S0 a year, potarn paid.
The feUKDAT un, lu addition to the current
ueir4. presents a mostunteitalnlua aud lutruc
Uve body of literary and miscellaneous matter
In bulk twice aa crcat and in value not Inleilor,
to that ot the beat monthly muKniines ol ite
dsy, at out tenth of their cost,
Thu Webklt Bun is ivprcisliy adopted for
toaewhooonut tsaea ew Yora riady puper.
The nens ot the wrelt la ludy nrewuteil. its
mriio. repoitsaie turalshei tutne Ute-tmo-msnt,
audita airncollnrat depaitmenu edited
with (neat care aud abidtyja uusurpaaaed, Tho
Ukeklt t&vx ta probably lead to-day by more
farmer Ithau any other paper puu.Uhed. A
choice atory. with other earetully prepared mis
eetlany, appear in earh lue. Tho Weekly
protect 1U readers by birriug Us advertising
columns against traaes and humbugs, andlur
nlabe more goon matter for leas money than
The price of the Wekxlt M'M, ebrat ptgea,
, flfiy.a xfuiawna,U II a year. ioia-;e paid.
For club of ten aendioa: f lo we will ftoud an ex
, tra copy free. Addiva
i W KNOr.AND
rnblUherof TUB BUX, hew YoikOly.
Dccll-M.
A. ! Mossci9
Mannfacturer of and Sealer In
STOVES, RANGES AND HEATERS,
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware and General
House Fnrnisning Goods.
ROOFING nml NPOTJTI1VO tlono at
short notice and at Lowest Cash Prices.
I am the anthonzM agent for the Palo of the
lUllUnillY ril(31.UliA9 S1UVU,0-
TUi: BILVIilt & GOLD Ml'.DAL COOK,
tub LioirrnousE cook,
TUB MAYVLOWISR RAN OE,
' THIS SUNSHINE RANGE and
1 he NEW ANCHOR HEATER,
and am Selling theni VI? H V CHEA P tor L'asb,
Vverv kind of SIOVM ORATES and FIUE
u mi. Kb at'ptconiiiintiyon num.
Store on SOUTH Street,
A few doors above Bank St, LEHIGHTON.
Patronnce solicited tjatlstaollrn ptarnntned.
Oct. 6-yl A. 1). MOSSER.
The Grandest Exposition
Ot Ladles', Gents', and Children's
Boots, Shoes! Gaiters
live! offeied In this vicinity, Is at
J. BL FRITZINGEll'S.
Bank Street, Leliighton, Pa.
I have Just rerelvcd a full llneot FALL and
WIN'iiiuiiooTy, shoks and IttJiiiiFits,
which 1 nm Selling to tho people or Lemghton
and tho ftnrroundiiis nciKhborhooil ClIliAi'Klt
THAIS LVKU JlhtOltK tioldlntlus County.
4 If o, oil classes of
Boots & ShoesMade to Order
nt Astonishingly Low Prices, nml MEriDINQ
Neatly done ni Vrtffif to suit the tltuei.
I invite ihe pnb.to to call and examine my
Stock aud Prices before purosaslnn cUewuote,
and bo convfnceo of ihe Nbove facts,
HOUND Ti) SATI.4FY.-Uedv.mado Boots
and t-hnes bought of me that rip will be repair
cd without charpo.
Thankful fnp past patronopre, I respccfully
nsk n contlnuarce thet eof.
T. m. rnnziNai'jn,
Two doors below Romlfr A HotTord'i (JarrliRo
Work, itank street. Oct. c yl
An Immftneo Stock at
HENRY CAMPBELL'S
East "Weissport, Pa.,
at a GREAT REDUCTION on former Trices
My Stock Is aiannractnicd to ray Especial
Order for the Tiado of thl, Locality, and
la GUARANTEED to elve Fericct
Satisfaction In evory particular.
Tho I'rico of Roots and Shoes
has been vcryconMderably
R E D V LT.Dsr tho
Manufacturers,
and I am detetmln.
od to give my Patrona
the full benefit' thereof,
ami therefore Invito an Inspec
tion ot my GoihH and Prices be.
lore purchasing elsotvlicro. I have
tho "Phoddy" articio which I can fnppiy ,
at very low Puces to those who wish them.
I also keep In connection, a fnll line ot CLoiccst
Groceries and Provisions,
Which I nm HELLING AT THE LOWEST
PRICES FOR L'AHIl.
HENRY CAMPBELL.
East Vclsport, Oot. s-ra'J
Pall Styles! Low Prices I
MRS. M. GUTH,
Fashionable Milliner!
White SI., Weissport, Pa.,
Respectfully announces to the ladies of Weiss
portend Ibo surround uy couutty, that .lie
has Just returned from the city, and Is
now receivlmrun tmmentp stock of
FALL AM) WINTER
Millinery Goods
costrnisixo
Hats, Bonnets, Trimmings,
Notions, &c.,
Of tho Latent Styles, nnd which nhj Is prepared
timell to nerpitron and lrn-nds at PRICES
CHLAPlsIt THAN EVER 1
Also, n lull assortment ol
SWITCHES!
And all other good, usually kept lu a first class
Mililceiy btoie,
LATJIES'OWN HAI It MADE UP lO OR.
HER at tho ten lowest possible ptioes.
Cill and exnmtne Goods and Pxlcea before
parcbaslUK elsewhejo,
MRS M.GUTII.
Oct. S. 18T8-mJ. Welsspoi t. Pa.
P
rlmo Homo Made Dread!
WHY 00 HUNGRY! When yon can liny 0
pounds ot Pint Class II lead -
FIVE LOAVES FOK 25 CEXTS I
J. W. O'NEAL, tho popular Ilread and Cake
IlOUrr. Of LeMfilllJltl In 11M1.P lnniMtih.u.nl.
of the times, hus lteiliucl I'io rr.ooot tils cele
brated Homo Made II UK A 1) to
Five Loaves forTwenty.aveCts, Cash.
Sugar, Raisin. Coco3nnt Scotch, Drop. Cream
and other C A KES, only
Ten Cents per Dozen.
Look Out for tlio Wagon t
At MAUCn CHUNK, on Tuesday, Thursday
anttHntnrday stoiuing..
LEII I u 1 1 ro N anil w I, I So l'O RT, every After
noon except Friday,
TERMS STRICTLY CASH 1
Patronage ollcited. I. w. O'NEAL.
wruilKi Oppolto first National Bang,
aprllsyl llnnihtrceu Lehighton Pa.
JJ1EEU THE IIUXGHYM
A. EL. MILLER
Itespectlu'lv annonnces to the rltlien of Le
highton and vicinity thnt he ha JUST OPEN.
Eatinq SalooN!!
Il the Building rest door to the "CARBON
llUUoE," on
Bank Street, Lehighton, Pa.,
and that he la prep in
Ediblca of all kit
OYSTERS
and that he Is prenired to furnish them with
luuioirs 01 an a id as on snoi i nonce.
IN
EVERY STYLE,
Received Fiesn Every Day,
Tea, Coffee, Ham, Eggs, Bo
logna, &c.
Also, a Choice assortment of the Finest
Brand of
Cigars, Smoking & Chewing
Tobacco
Always on hsnd at Lowest Pr eea. The patro.
n.geof thepoblie la mosi rtutnicttnilv invited,
ana tatlalaction guar.nteed, (11VK 4K A
"i1'1-. . . AUU- K- MILLER.
October 19, If.
Written expressly for Tug Advocitk.
WE All go for TEMPERANCE np HERE,
A Holiday Memoir.
11)- till SIIIAN.-VA SIMIAIJ;
Just Iwcnly yean ago, four of us, cousins,
Lou, Mamie, Bcssio nnd myself, were paying
a visit to undo Zcke and aunt Becky Bciu-
campen, in tlio rcrltiotiicn valley. How
quickly tlio titno lias flown away I lean
ecurccly realize that it lias been twenty
years, yet it is even so. The fact that my
thrco cousins are married, nnd have brought
up families of children some of whom con
sider themselves young ladles and gentle
men tells a story that tho hasty flight of
time cannot controvert. But, if I could
smooth the few wrinkles which care has
made on my brow nnd pluck tho silver
threads from my hair, I should feel as young
to-day as I did then, and as happy; and I
do not believe that my cousins, with their
care-inspiring families nnd, I have a mind
to say, growling husbands, can cay as much.
But, at tho start, I hnvo digressed from
my purjmse, for my pljn was to "commenco
with a description of uncle Zeko and aunt
Becky, nnd of tho holiday visit which we
paid them.
Undo Zcke Bcincampcn was one of the
smoothest tempered, easiest-going, jo I lest
old farmers that you ever saw, and his rubi
cund face was at all times an Infallible
remedy for the "blues." lie lived In the
Pcrkiomcn valley, in a largo old-fashioned
farm-house, which wos buried in a grove of
fruit and ornamental trees and grape-vines,
aud near which rippled the waters of Perk-
lomen creek. To say that a large, hand
some farm surrounded it, completes the pic
ture. Aunt Becky was almost liko him, with
one exception, that while undo Zeko was
generous and open-hearted, she was always
full of caro nbout tho future, and looked
itKn tho most trifling loss to herns an omen
of approaching misfortune, aud teemed lo
Iivo in constant dread of tlio poor-house.
with this socialJcombination,it is not sur
prising that undo Zeko was well to do in
life, most of which he and aunt Becky had
accumulated during many years of patient
industry, frugality nnd wedded harmony,
on tho farm which wc hnvo described.
Wo had planned to spend Christmas with
uncle Zcke and aunt Becky. Wc had never
tlono so; and you may bo sure that wo
cherished many bright anticipation of tho
fun we should have, during tho two weeks
wo were engaged in packing up a largo
trunk to take with us in common, aud other
wise getting ready for tho trip.
Aunt Becky had written us to come with
out fail. She proposed to have a Christmas
eve re-union of friends, a Christmas tree nnd
a family feast next day. Her only daughter,
who had married Trof. Mctzgcr,of Philadel
phia, with her thrco children wo had hover
seen, would bo there, nnd she, wishedlto.
have as many of the family nnd csjiccially
ourselves as poFsiblc. She would have John
her son meet us with tho carriage at Al-
lentown tho day beforo Christmas.
Early in the morning, beforo wo started,
while wo were assembled to take account of
stock, and think whether our trunk contain
ed everything we wcro likely to need for tho
week's visit, cousin Lou came waltzing into
tho room, nnd taking a bundle from under
her shawl, with a mysterious laugh all over
her face, said, addressing me :
" Now, Si," that is the name they call
mo for short, " now ain't this just gay 1
Cousin Sam," that's my brother" who
spent his summer vacation at Undo Zcke's,
says they all go for temperance up tlicremd
as wo hnvo always been used to having wine
at our parties here, he has made us a present
of these four bottles of champaign to take
withusjjnd has loaned us his cork-screw and
telescope cup ; and now we'll put them all
together lu one end of the trunk, aud then
wo can drink the wine, nnd nobody will bo
the wiser."
" How thoughtful in Sam," wo nil said.
Wo readied Allcntown iusafetvind found
cousin John, quite a misclievious appearing
younginau.havingpast h!s6cvcntecnth birth
day ,waitiiig lor usatthodepotwithtlie family
barouche, drawn by uncle Zcko's best span
of horses. By common consent wo christen,
cd him, at the start, " cousin Jack."
Uncle Zeke and aunt Becky had only two
children living Jolin,andSarah beforo men
tloncd, the wifo of Prof. Metzger. John was
tho counterpart of his fiither.both in person
al appearance and disposition.
When we got fully under way, had pas
sed beyond the suburbs of Allcntown, and
were speeding onward to the Perkiomen,
laughing at cousin Jack's rustic wit and re
partee, he reined up tho horses to a walk,
and said :
I guess its lunch time. Mother put a
lunch in tho carriage for us, and it's as well
la get outside of it now as any other lime.
And now look here, girls," he added, lifting
a junket basket from under the scat on which
he sat, "I am going lo make confidants of
you, and if you ever squeal on me, I'll mur
der the whole of you, by thunder."
" We won't squeal of course not. What
do you tako us for 1" wo all said, with ono
voice, winking at each other.
" You see," the old governor nnd mother
are strong tcmjicraneo people, I am captain
of the Temperance Cadets, and in fact we all
go for temperanceup here. ButI know that
your father's have wlno-cellers at home and
you loo have always had a sip of wine at your
tables at home, and so as mother puts up a
number of bottles of home-made wine every
year, I hooked two bottles of it yesterday,
and have brought them with me for lunch.
Its pure grape juice, five years old.
We complimented couisin John's thought
fulness, while ho put down tho curtains to
the barouche, and as tho horses walked slow
ly along, wo spread aunt Becky's toothsome
lunch on our laps.
" I'm a highwayman," said he, "If I did
n't forget to take something along to drink
out of."
" We can drink out of the bottle," laugh
ingly said Lou.
" Of course we can," wo all chimed in.
" You must dri'ik first,cousin John," said
Bessie.
" I ought not to do it," said John. "For
I break my pledge in doing so."
"But you have already broken your pledge,
In furnishing it to us;" I answered. "If
you refuse to drink it, we will also."
"Then," said John, drawing the stopper
from the bottle, "here goes a little for my"
" Stomach's sake," interrupted Mamie.
" For my pretty cousins' takes j" contin
(3 ji i
ued John. But I noticed thai he drank very
moderately, nnd every II mo he turned his
head wo would empty some of the wine
through tho windows of the burouehs. So
when tho lunch wos finished, one of tho bot
tles wos empty, and tho other nearly so,
We must Mulsh this bottle," said cousin
Jack, who began lo show exhiliration, "as I
must hide them before I get home," He
took another sip from it, handed it back
lo us aud wo managed to dispose of it as we
had dono with much of the other. Wo
then gathered up tho remnants into the
basket, John stored them under tho scatind
taking tils whip ho touched up tho horses
which began to speed over tho smooth hard
frozen , country road at a rapid paco while
we, conniving together, made tho wel
kin ring with our wild songs and shouts. As
wo passed tho farmhouses the children would
run to tho doors, nnd mothers protrude their
heads from tho windows, no doubt wonder
ittg if we were n remnant of a managcrie,or
a band of escaped lunatics.
When wo had arrived within about three
miles of tho end of ourjoumey John brought
tho horses to a walk, and as the effects of
tho moderate amount of wino which ho had
drank had passed away, ho said i "Now
girls, Wo must hold up on this noise, as tho
old governor might hear of it."
" Drive on,"sliouted Lott,"wo nro allright
Wo'll fix It all right with tlio governor."
" But I know it isn't all right,"said John,
sadly taking in tho situation, that ns he
thought wo wcro all sc intoxicated that wo
reeled in our scats, and that ho had just as
well try to reason with four lunatics as with
us. It won't do take you girls home in this
plight. Tho old governor would 6tring mo
up by the thumbs."
"Do you mean to say that we aro tight?1
said Lou. excitedly. "If so, you are lying.
Givo mo the reins. I will drivo home, if
you can't." At tho same time she tried to
rise, and falling forward fell on my lap. He
brought the horses to a stands-till, and sad
ly contemplated our faces, his countenance
being a picture of dlspalr. In the mean
timo Lou commenced a little baccanalian
impromptu, in which wc all joined t
"Wo at e In command of Captain Jack,
Captain Jack, Captain Jockj
We aro In command of Captain Jack,
And won't go borne till morning'
"I'll be hanged," said John, "if I ain't
a mind to put you all out of the carriage,
and drive oil and leave you."
But wo only laughed at nim,and menaced
him with our clinched fists.
He buried his faco in his hands and dls-
pondingly murmured i
" I don't know what lo do, by thunder.
The folks aro all at home waiting to receive
you, nnd not ono of you can walk a step, or
kuow what you aro doing. Never will I bo
caught In such a trap ns this again; never
will I givo any one else wine to drink. It
is a just retribution on me."
Yes, it's alt your fault, so don't preach
temperance to us," said Lou.
."Now, will you not have some reason,
girls T" lie pleaded dramatically. " Don't go
back on mo in this foolish way. I have
treated you square, now don't disgrace both
yourself and mo in this manner, for
Heaven's sake."
" But what can we dot" I osked.
" Is there a tavern near here?" asked
Lou, " where we can go to sleep for an hour
or two, and wo shall be all right."
" It won't do," said John. " Tho old
governor would como to look for us; and
besides there arc no taverns near here. But
I'll tell you what will answer. There is
store a half milo ahead. I will go in and
get a pint of vinegar in ono of tho bottles,
and put somo salt In it I'll tell the store
keeper that I want it to bathe a lame horse
and if you girls will drink it, it will cure
you."
" Vinegar and salt for four," we all shout.
ed. " Yes, captain Jack, get us tho vinegar
by all means."
This secerned to offer some relief to his
mind, nnd so ho drove on, and finally stop
ped opposite tho little country store, which
stood back a short distance lrom the high
way; ho handed me tho reins and said
" Now, cousin Si.for mercy's sake do keep
quiel while I go to tho store, for if you carry
on out here, tho old governor Ml hear of it,
sure as thunder."
When he had about time to get tho vine.
gar in the bottle, Lou took the whip, gave
tho horses a sharp crack, and off they start
cd at a rapid pace. We saw cousin Jack
rush out of tho store, bottlo in hand, and
yelling " whoa I whoa I" made otTallcrus.
Lou still plied the whip to tho horses, and
for a short time, it was about an even race;
but then wc saw that he was following, and
we slackened our gait. We did not allow
him to overtake us, however, until he had
ran about half a mile, then we stopped the
horses, and almost out of breath, ho sprang
into his seat.
Ho jerked the reigns out of my hands and
the whip from Lou.
"Iam a son of thief!" he said, " if I
ain't a mind to lay this whip oyer the
shoulders of tho whole of you."
But we were as 6obcr as judges now, and
pleaded that we could not stop the horses.
He had not got tho vinegar and salt, and he
very soon discovered that we really had no
necessity for it. That during tho race, we
had laughed ourselves sober, if, indeed, we
wero light at all. And cousin Jack believed
that the whole thing was a trick,
"Never mind, girls," ho said, recovering
from his bad humor. "Now, mind you, I
will get even with you before wo separate."
We were now at uncle Zeke's, and I need
not describe the welcome wo received from
aunt Becky, who was up to her elbows in
her culinary preparations for the evening
and the morrow. Cousin Sarah and her
children had arrived the day before.
" Now girls," said Aunt Becky, " I want
you to have a good time while you are here.
I have furnished the large room over the
parlor with two beds, so that you can all be
together. Come with me and I will show
you."
And she lead the way, talking lle while,
describing the many things she had prepared;
showed the spacious old-fashioned but cozy
room; the decorations and Christmas tree
in the parlor, a list of the neighbors who
would be present at the evening party, and
a dozen other thoughtful things. She finally
took us Into the buttery, which was a per
fect store-house of home-made luxuries, and
so neat and orderly that oue almost feared
to move least something would bo disarrang
ed.
" I have taken you hereIrls," she added,
lifting her spocladea from her eye to her
forohiid, " to mako confident of you. I
know that you have wino at your tables In
Mduch Chunk, and that you have been used
to having a sip of wine. Now for somo years
I have put up somo grape, elderberry and
current wines," she unlocked a spacious cup
board, displaying shelves loaded with rows
of bottles. " Tho back rows are the oldest
and best, and the bottles are all labelled. I
hall leave It unlocked, and you can come
and help yourselves. But don't say a word,
for Zekel is a strong temperance man, John
ll captain of tho temperance cadets, and in
fact, we all go for tempefattco up here."
Lou explained that although wo had wine
at home, wo scarcely ever tasted It, and can
easily do without It.
" I don't want you to do without It," sho
added, and In the meantime had filled five
wine glasses, and Insisted, that as wo looked
tired from our journey, wo must tako a ghss
with her, as it was a great help in such
cases a good medicine.
Wo then followed aunt Becky to the kitch
en where wo volunteered to assist her In her
multitudinous preparations , but just at this
time uncle Zeko came bustling in, his health-
glowing face and happy eyes beaming under
the visof of his fox-skin cap.
" Now, girls," said he, "come out and sec
my new barn, my pigs, cows, sheep, goats,
and horses."
We accepted his invitation, ho explain
ed to us the different breeds of his Btockind
finally wo followed him into a small cozy
room in one corner of which sat an old-fashioned
side-board, tho tront of which he un
locked. " When rou'ro homo girls, your fathers
having wine-cellars, I know you aro used to
having a 'snifter' of some when you want it."
said he, handing me a key, "and I always
keep a little here in cases of sickness, and
you can come hero when you like and help
yourselves. Those bottles contain somo flue
old sherry, which was presented to mo by an
Importer in Philadelphia." He filled five
glasscs.handing each of us one,and retaining
one himself. "It Is Christmas, and you
don't visit undo Zeko everyday ; nnd while
you nro hero I want you to enjoy yourselves.
But, for tho world, don't Epeflli of it, for
Becky is a very strong temperance woman,
John is captain of the cadet;, aud wc all go
for temperance up here.
" This temperance principle, uncle Zcke,
is a grand thing," I said.
"Aye; I tell you it is a grand thing," he
repeated, smacking his Hps over the glass of
old Sherry. "As Becky has often said, it is
the only thing that can save tho nation
from a pauper's grave. I tell you, girls, I
don't know where I should have been my
self, to-day, but for your Auut Becky and
temperance."
It would bo irksome to describe the pleas
ant country party, with its romances and
incidents, which wo enjoyed that evening,
but suffice it lo say that at about 11 o'clock,
after a brief but good-natured lecture by
Aunt Becky, on the importance to health
and happiness of keeping good hours, the
neighbors dispersed to their homes, and
we retired to our room.
"Now," said Lou, "we have not had oc
casion to visit Aunt Becky's nor Uncle
Zeke's temperance closets this evening, so,
suppose wo have a bottle of Cousin Sam's
champaign, all to ourselves?"
Wo all assented, and Lou stepped forward
and opened the door to tho closet In which
our trunk had been stored. But horrors of
horrors I With a suddeness that curdled
the very blood in our veins and made us all
screech for mercy, a goat bounded form tho
closet, stopped in the middle of the room to
survey tho situation, whistled through his
H090 and stamped the floor with his fore
foot.
Mamlo was nearest the door, and throw
ing it open the goat ran out, we following.
We reached the hall just in time to see
uncle Zcke picking himself up. He had
started up the stairs, in answer to our
screams, met the gout, and they both turn
bleu down stairs together.
Aunt Becky, who was banking her fires,
believing that robbers were in the house,
came rushing out of tho kitchen, througli
the dining hall, lamp in hand, and leaving
the doors open, through which the frighten
cd coat bolted, hotly pursued by Aunt
Becky.
She cornered him in the kitchen by clos-
ing the door.
But while she was making frantic efforts
to open tho door leading Into the yard, tho
goat leaped over the cook stovo upsetting a
kettle of hot water, some of which splashed
upon the sleeping cat under the stove, which
added to the confusion by scampering around
the room, yawling for dear life. The goat
had got a dose of tho hot water also, and be.
coming more desperate, crashed through
the window, carrying all the glass of one
sash with him, and through which the poor
cat also made its exit.
In a few minutes, the whole household,in
Various stages ol dishabille,reached the scene
of the disaster. John was as pale as a ghost,
and his eyes shone like silver half dollars.
"John," said aunt Becky, after we ex
plained where the goat was, " do you know
how that goat got in the closet ?"
" How should I ?" asked John. " He was
not there when I put the trunk in."
Do you know, 'Zekiel?" she asked, while
uncle Zeke was limping around trying to
find a bottle of Mustang Liniment to bathe
a wound received in the fall.
" I'm like the boy the calf ran over," said
uncle Zcke. " It's no use to cry over spilt
milk. They say there's a skeleton in every
closet There seems to be live ones in
ours."
Order having been restored, we retired,
and laughed ourselves to sleep, with some
vague suspicions against undo in connection
with the goat joke.
The next morning uncle Zeke called the
household around the family altar, and
these are the words with which he closed
bis prayer his face being a picture of earn
est and devout supplication ;
" I pray Thee, 0 Father, that thou wilt
look after my son John, and make him an
honored and useful member of society. And
I especially beseech Thee that thou wllt,ever
in the future guard him from the temptation
to put a goat in the closet on Christmas eve."
These are the incidents which we have
always pleasantly remembered in connec
tion with that Christmas visit to uncle
Zeke's.
In round figure there have thus far been
expended on the Brooklyn Bridge and for
laud nine and three-quarter million dollars,
and It Is estimated that nearly three and a
half millions additional will bo required to
finish It This is a cheering outlook for the '
peasne lupayvr.
AN INDIGNANT 1ICAI AND NECK.
A most extraordinary sensation lins
occurcd In tho American colony of Lon
don this week. A young lady from
Philadelphia was walking down Regent
street with the mother and sister ot a
young lady of rank, when their atten
tion was attracted by so.no photo
graphs of noble people and others ex
posed In a window, and tliey drew up
to look at them. Fancy the astonish
ment ot tlio American gill on ecelng
her own photogrnph exposed thero
among tho others, but in tho most amaz
ing shape. It Is possible to conceive. Her
hend, tier face, the arrangement of tier
hair, the turn of her neck, it was Im
possible to mistake; and yet there the
was, almost as undraped as the Venus
de Medici In fact, got up In tights
and fleshings, and labelled "Maieppal"
"What can this mean?" she ciled to
the elderly lady, her lips blanched with
shnmo and terror. "I ft-nlly cannot
tell you," replied Lady Disdain, with
steel eye and Icy voice. "You perhaps
can tell us whether on any occasion In
America you wero In tho habit of ap
pearing In this dress?"
"Oh, what do you mean to Insinuate?-'
uttered the poor girl. "Do you
think I ever stood as Mazeppa? Oil,
bow cruel ot you to spenk so."
"It Is certainly your portrait," added
the other lady.
Dy this timo ono or two bystanders
had drawn up to the window, and no
ticing tho likeness wero nudging each
other.
"It Is somo concldcnce -of course It
cannot be meant for me."
"You had better take a cab and go
home and tell your father nbout It,"
said the lady, still with her frigid man
ner. "My daughter and I have some
calls tomake."
In a half-dazed state of mind tho
young Phlladelphian drove home and
told her father of what had hnppened.
To gtt back to the shop, to havo that
photograph out of the window, to de
mand an explanation of tho Btnlloner,
was not the work of many minutes for
tho enraged father. Hut though Unas
easy enough to demand an explanation,
It was not so easy to get one. Suspi
cion falls upon thoservants of the house,
who might easily have abstracted a pho
to out of a packagi! of them which had
been kept hitherto in an unlocked
drawer of the young lady's writing
desk. Ot course It Is it "cooked" pict
ure; only the head and neck ot the
.American lady's photograph, tho rest
that of somo ono else, nnd together the
plcturo represents oue of the innst
beautiful women It Is possible to con
ceive. Tho matter has caused so much
indignation and so much comment that
It Is not Jinposslble that It may check
the mania now so prevalent among so
ciety beauties foi having theiu-.elvcs
photographed for sale at it shilling a
carte de vlste, Loudon Letter.
THE rn01OSKD NATIONAL MILI
TIA. The plan for the organization of a
National Guard of the United States
has been drawn up by General George
B. JlcClellnn, General Hancock of the
United States Army, General Couch ot
Massachusetts, and General
Franklin, Adjutant-General ot Con-1 sen who had walked a half square nnd
nectlcut. The followlug comprise the ; !!,okt'd mound the corner seven or eight
most impoitant details of the measure : nVuTooS
Theannual appropriation for the mill Uut In a street corner ornament, who
tla shall be Increased from $200,000 to' stood leaning against a building shlver
$1,000,000, and lu addition there shall I Id8 '"rd enough to shake It down,
bean appropriation of l,O00,C00 for -Farmers In tho vicinity nf the lakes
the purchase of arm,, ammunition and j J "LZX " .e'eUrnn
equipments of the latest patterns, to bo blankets, to ward offthe shot of hunters,
divided pro rata among the regularly Sjiiio aro driving their cattle to the
orcanlzed mllltla of the several states. wooJs until Ilia season Is over, wlillo
Tho proper apportionment shall be
made under tho direction of a board of
fivn ofllcers, two regular and threo from
the natiomal guard, one from each of
the great divisions of tho country, cast,
west and louth. The officers will be
appointed by tho President upon the
recommendation of tho Governors from
the three great natural divisions of the
country above named. They shall
have the pay of the officers of equal
grade In the regular army while on
such service.
The tegular officers shall be detailed
by the proper autliorl'.y, nnd the senior
oQlcers shall not be ot less rank than
brigadier-general. This board shall
prepare a system of regulations for the
uniform organization ot the militia,
which shall be Issued to tho stales.
Each state accepting tho money and
arms allotted to It by the board shall
furnish its soldiers with uniform and
equipments. The uniform thus adopt
ed shall be the fatigue dress of the mili
tia, and must bo worn when the com
mand are called out for active service
and at such other times as the Governors
ot the states n.ay direct. The full dress
local uniform shall beietalned and wotu
on all other occasions. The President
shall assign from officers of tho rank of
brigadier-general on the retired list,
who are capable of performing such
duty, ten inspectors ot mllltla, whose
duty it shall be to make annual inspec
tions.
It Is also Intended that each state
shall put up a rlllo- range aud appoiut
anofllcerto superintend rllle practice;
and th federal government Is to offer i
a stand of colors each year for the reel
nieU In each state which shall show the
niot proficiency In drill and discipline.
An eicht hundred pound candy clenhant
Is exhibited in a Heading, Pa., coufectioucr'a
store. The figure is 7 feet in length, 5 feet
high, and il leet wide, and weighs nearly
eight hundred pounds. Tho tusks are solid
clear candy, the tongue Is composed of candy
of the natural color, and with these except
tions the entire figure is composed of saleable
nut candy. In removing it lrom the factory,
in the rear of the store, the factory doorway
naa 10 ne euiargea. it was loauea upon a
wagon by means of a block and tackle, and
conveyed around the square to the front
store, as It could not be taken through the i
rear aoor, on account oi iu ia.
The Carbon Advocate,
And Independent Family Newspaper,
Published every SATURDAY, In
LchlghloH, Carbon Co.;l'a,, by
icAiiitY v. itioirminimi.
OITOlt-l'A.VKW'AY, a ehott distance above
the LclilgU Valley It It Depot
Terms: $1,00 rer Annum in Attyance.
EVERT llFeCIUtTIOS OF 1T.11K jt.tb tXtt
JoId IP rin ting'
at vl'ry low rnicta.
THIN AND THAT.
-A rifle team A gang of house-
breakers.
A Teutonic figure of speech 0.
This y-easteru question Is forever
rising.
It is thought thnt n fashioniblo
boaraiug house fornlsbes the best autl
fat. Red tape permits tho Indian to
stnrve and then kills him It he thrathes
around ami makes a fuss about It
Hungry Traveller "Flrel nf nil,
have you a olc7" Irish landlady "A
sowl, Isitl Now, do I look liken bastt?"
Don't be old-fashioned enough to
speak of a verbose mau as "n ris house.
He rer lo him as an " electric light gen
erator." Counsel to witness "You're a nice
sort of a fellow, you arcl" Witness
"I'd say tho same of you, tlr, only I'm
on my oath."
No, gentlo Aramlnta, the Punlo
war was not a fight between two pala
graphers. It Isn't pronounced that
way.
Said a lady to the famous acto",
Gtrrlck: "I wMi yuu wero taller."
"Madame," replied the wit, "how hap.
py I should bo to stand hluhei In vour
estimation."
An old fel'ow reading n newspaper
headline, " War against the Afghans,"
.-.nid he was glad of It i he never did
like "them clicus blankets."
Father, to sleepy boy "Comp,
James, you ought tu be up with the
lark on such a beautiful morning."
Matter-of-fact boy "That's all right,
but how'm I golu to get up there?"
Autumn poetiy and opinions of emi
nent persons concerning yellow fever,
Its probable cause and certain corn,
should be handed In before snow conies
If Intended foi publication.
Necessity has no law. Parson
(sternly) "How could you cotue to
church to be married to a man in surli
a stfcte as that I" Urlde (weeping) "It
wasn't my fault, dr. I never can get
liliu to come when he Is sober!"
Sho was n noodle and ho was a noodle,
and when their marriage was announced,
Simmons, who knew and anprcci.ttcd them
bolh, exclaimed with tears "standing iu his
eyes,
Two souls without a singlo thought I
"Do you sty yottr prayers regular
ly every night and morning?" aked a
sympathetic lady of a little shno-blaek
to whom.she had just given ntiille. "I
allubsez'um at iiijjht, mum; but any
smart boy can takecareof liisselr In tne
daytime," was tho little rogue's reply.
Tho religious newpnpers of Eng
land are tlNciiMug the momentou
question. "Ought clergymen to wear
moustaches?" A contemporary thinks
thnt, ns cold weather comes on, they
should, and on days of extreme severi
ty they might add a pair of trousers aud
a thick vest.
A geutlman In New Orleans was
agreeably surprised tofind a plump tur
key served up for his dinner, and In
quired of his hcrvant how It was obtain,
oil. "Why, sir," replied Sambo "ilat
turkey has been roosting on our fencti
tree nights. Ho dls morning I seize him
for do rent of de fence."
He cl. I ins to he an ex-Latin School
' boy, nnd Is soliciting money to aid him
in reaching his grandmother's funeral.
Two victims" Busuest that as he has
been trying six weeks, and hai mil yet
caught up with tho procesilon, lie needs
no further aid, unless It be from the po
lice. A squirrel saw a man late In the
fall wsthout an overcoat. Said he to
Mrs. Squirrel : "Going to be a mild
winter this year, Nancy; m-n go with
out overcoats." Moral It Is as easy
j for tho squirrel to tell what tlio weather
j will be by what the man wears, as for
! the mun by what the squirrel wears.
i "What, havo Ihpv tnlrOA Ilia tin. iila
t on tne town clock rot ?" asktd a eitl-
others who have tough old steers, let
them graze around the lakes, and pick
tlin shot out of tho hide aud sell them
again.
A seedy looking Individual stepped
Into one of our gentlemen's (urnl-hing
stores riceully, and asked for a pair ot
four ply cutis. Thuartlcles were hand
ed him, and ho examined them In a
dubious sort of way, and then remark
ed : "Seo here! These ain't the rluht
thing, I want the four ply kiud them
that you can turn four times without
washing."
The chnmplnn lone nosed man re
sides at Sacramento. Its owner was at
breakfast, when a friend seated on ll.e
opposito side ot the table, knowing him
to be a Ilttlo near-sighted, remarked,
"There's a By on the end of your nose."
"Is there?" responded the owner of
tho horn of plenty. "I didn't know It.
Just plet.se scare him off; you're near,
er to him than I am?"
The Springfield Republican 6ays
that "one seldom sees anythlue volup
tuous or (iatnbajaiit, or, on the other
hand, anything blanched aud etiolated"
among the Huston girls. Might, nut
what you always do fee, when you
meet a representative Hoston girl, Is her
last translation of tho Dies Irce clasped
In her right hand, and In her lef t a son
net either to lirabma, the Ovetsoul or
tho Old South.
Rudolph Graves had not been mar
ried long not long enough to have be
come an pxpeit nurse. In fact thl
was tho first pledge of love that had
blessed the Graves union, that Rudolph,
with a total failure to regard or tecoc-
nlse tho responsibilities Incurred, pro
mised to keep for au hour, timing his
wife's absence shepplng. When she
returned sho found Rudolph playing
the garden hose over baby. He had
,e f anl
If ,eJ"
11 'lUMi
everything else, he said, lo keep
ana tins seemed lo soothe iu
Dramatic criticism In the near fu
ture: "The part of Cordelia, perhaps
the most affecting of all the mighty
master's creations, was sustained by a
princess robo of white poult de sole,
trimmed with largo bunches ecru, turn,
ed up, and cut bias ; diamond orna
ments. Tho unyieldine, never waver
ing purpose of a fitindUhGiiuerll found,
an admirable exponent In a heavy rolm
of black organdie with fan trail, kui(
plaiting and pompadour cordage, and
the other parts were excellently loader,
ed by the respective cnatuiues sustain
ing them, a mure driailed deacrintiun
of which Is, owing to the crowed atale
of our columns defected tu a mure ftU
ting opportunity.