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H. V. Mouthimeh, Proprietor. . INDEPENDENT" Live and Let Live." $1.00 a Year if Paid in Advance.
VOIi. II., No. 42. LEUIGIITON, CARBON COUNTY, PENN'A, SATURDAY' MORNING, SEPTEMBER 5, 1874 SINGLE COPIES, THREE CENTS.
V.flciwirti. Bank etreet. dealtrin all kindl of
Turniturt, Cbtfintmadtto order,
Ilnnt mil Shoe Makers.
Clinton Bretney, in Lmn't building. itank street.
AH oraert promptly juita wqtk wurrunicu.
yjy M. RAPSIHSR,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
Tim K 8TB.K1T. LinlQDTOK. FA.
RealKstateand Udl.ction Atseuc. Will P.uyand
fl.ll H..1 K.tiitA. Convevancln!- neatlv done. Col
lections promptly nude. Settling Kttstes of Do
cedent, a ipecUltj. May be consulted In English
and German. Not. I'l.
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
OJrici First National Dank Building, 2nd Floor
.MACCIt CHUNK, Pxnka.
May bo consulted In German. spr 18, 187-1
-pill. C. UISIMlCIt,
DISTRICT ATTORNEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office, on Buoadwat, first door below American
Hotel, MauchChunk.l'euu'a. Collections prompt
7 HI, aiULUERN,
ATTOENEY AT LAW,
MAUCn CHUNK, PA.
Oct .18, 1873.
j II. DIMM1CIC,
Enat WeLiport, Pa.
v n Q.1no ..... iLi.rln(hn nttfnAfA tout
reasonablMhargen. Tbe patronage or the public
Is respectfully solicited. Jan. 24, '74.
jya. s. B. rebek,
Pl'.ACTICINO PHYSICIAN AND SURQKU.N.
Office, Hani Stre't, next door above tbe Postotliu ,
Xohiehton, I'a. Office Hours Parryvllle each day
rom 10 to 12 o'clock ; remainder of day at oMce tu
N. ici.otz, pnoi-'u,
Summll 11111, Carbon Co., Pa,
Mrru. ti.t ... MImm..llnni. kTnplluut res
tsurant underneath. Good llabllng attached
IT IIOYO IIENRI,
122 S. 9th St.,Allentown, Pa.
V111 furnlih Nana, Sperlficatlfma and Kstlmfttes
giving exact cost of uLUc and private fculldlnps
J rom tbe plainest to tb tnnst elaborate; niKti,
Drawings tor Stairs. II and-Kail. Ac. Jel
OLIVER CRILLEY. dealer In To
bacco, Clears, Pipes, &c., next door to
Stcx's Grocery Store, Susquehanna St.,
JImich t7liunk, respectfully asks the
peoploof Leliiglitoti and vicinity. wIimii
visiting tliat place, to call iu ami try ins
the very best In tlio matket. livery
articles In his lino warranttd as lepre-
sented and at lowest prices. marUS
gWOMAS A. WIa-IABI;?.
LADIES' AND GENTLEMEN'S
Boot and Shoe Maker,
Nearly oppoilte tbe Poct-olTre
BANK STREETLohighton, a.
Hat I tic commenced l'tfinetr. ns at r. I would
respectfully announoi? u tl.ti'iln-nt rf I blghton
nnd vicinity that I nrn rr-piirud to do all vr--,rii In
my line In the neili'st nut tvist autntantlal mau-
uw, at'prlces fully ns h a the camo work can
omiueii in miiNflt jpiiia, a ppit-iuiid nevrt
roent of CHIUHIKN'S and MlSSKfa' WKAUof
the best make always on hand. Atrial Is Fohclt-ad
And FatUactlou guaranteed.
i Tne trade supplied with all kinds or
et loycat prices. July 4, 1871.
VVj 1 VAJV
GENERAL INBUBANCE AGENT
Thj following Companies are Represented l
Lebanon Mutual Flro,
Reading Mutual Fire,
Lehigh Fire, and tlio
Travelers' Accldeut Insurance,
Also Pennsylvania and Mutual Horso
Thief Detcctlvo and Insurance Com
jiany. March 21), 1873.
TgroS. ill. FIUTZirVGEK,
Boot and Shoe Maker,
Opposite T. D. Clauss' Store,
IMNK STREET, LEUIGIITON, Pa.,
respectfully Informs his friends and the
public, that ho has just received a new
and excellent assortment of Men's Wo
men's aud Children's Ready. JIado
Boots, Shoes & Gaiters,
Which ho will Bell at the Lowest Prices.
33" Boots and Shoes made to order,
ftAd Repairing neatly aud substantially
dono at short notice. up 25. yi
FjTMio uii(lor!iic(l rcspuct-
-- fully announces that ho Is better
prepared than over to Buy and Sell
Cir mid Sheep Skins,
at his Old Stand, nearly opposite the
post office, BankStreet, iehighton.
tS The highest cash prices paid for
Sides and Skins.
nov. 2- (J. E. GREENIWALI),
WKUONDBUFUL, BUT TRUE!
" Whenever I get a Bottle of Bloom
of Youth or Magnolia Balm, Rose Tint,
a J5ox of Lilly White, or anything In
that lino to beautify the complexion, at
Durllng's Drug Store, It seems to be
nicer aud better than I can get any
where tlso. may
OUT 1 1 PENNA.IIAII.KOAD.
Passengers for Philadelphia wlllteare Lehlghton
5.01 1. m , tIs L. V.j arrlre at Phlla at 0.00 a ,m
7.37a.m.TlaL.S. " " 11.10a.m.
7.39 a.m. Tit L. V. " " 1110p.m.
U.07p.m.TlaL.iS. " " 215 p.m.
lI.02p.m.Tla L.V. " 2.15 p.m.
2.27 p.m. ila h.t S. " " 6Mp.m.
4 47p.m.la L.4 S. " 8.20 p.m.
4.41 p. m. via. L. V. " " 8.20 p. m.
7J9p. m.TlaL.V. " ' 10 30n.m
Beturnlng, lesre depot at Berks and American
Streets. 1'hlla., at 7.00, 8 30 and 0.45 a. m.; 2.10
3.S0, aud 5.15 p. m.
Fare from Lenlgb:on to Philadelphia, (2.55.
Feb. 1, 1874. MILLS CliARIC, Agent
OENTHAI, R. R. OF N. J.
LEHIGH & SUSQUEHANNA DIVISION.
Time Table or Juno 29, 1874.
Tritns leave Lehlghton as follows:
For STew York, Philadelphia, Jlaston. ic, a, 7.37,
11 07 a. m, 2.27, 4 47 pra.
For Mauch Chnnk at 10.15 a. m., 1.14, 6J8, and
II 03 p. m.
For Wilkes Barre andScranton at 10.15 a. m., 1.14,
5.38 p. m.
Slttuming Leavo New York, from station Cen
tral Railroad of New Jersey, foo of Libert?
street, North lilver, at6.15, 0.00 a. m., 12.40,
4 CO p. m.
Learo Philadelphia, from Depot North Penu'a
IE. It., at 7.00,0 45 a. m., 2.10, 6 15 p. in.
LcaTo Eastou at 8 3U, 10.01, 11.48 a. m., 3.53 and
7.15 p m.
Leave Mauch Chunk at 7.30, 11.00 a. m., 2 20 and
4.40 p. m.
Fo: further particulars, see Time Tables at tbe
II. P. BALDWIN, Ccn. ruutnotr Agent.
PHILADELPHIA A ERIE RU. DIVISION.
Summer Time Talile.
On and rier SUNDAY, JUN K 28lh. 1874, the
trains on tbe Phllada. Erie 11 It. Dltltlou will
run as follows:
Fast I.iki leaves Philadelphia 12.55 p m.
" " llarrlburg 5liOp.m.
" ' Sunbury 0.55 p.m.
' " Willlnnisport 8.50 p.m.
" arr. at Lock Haven 10.00 p.ui
Erie Mail leaves Philadelphia 11 55 p.m.
" ' Ilarrlhurg 4 25 am.
" " Sunbury 5J0a.m
" " Mllllamsport 8.35 am.
" " Lock Haven 0.45 a.ra.
" " Renova 11,10 a.m.
" arr.atErlo 8 05 pm,
Elsiira Mail leaves Philadelphia 8.0 1 a m.
" Harrisburg 1.20 p.ui.
" ' Sui.hury 4.20 p In-
" " W illlamsport 0 20 p.m.
" arr. at Lock Haven 730 p.m.
.Ntioini Kxrr.tas leaves ITdladelphla" 7.20 a.m.
" " " Harrisburg 10.40 n.m,
" " " Sunbury 12.30 p.m.
" " " VUllhmsport 2.U") p in.
" " " Lo.k Hvell 3.10 p.m.
" " " Renova 4.20 p.m.
" arr. st Kane 0.50 a.m.
PntiA . Exf bess leaves Ix.ck Haven G 20 a.m.
" ' ' Sunbury 0Jip.m.
" " AMIllamsport 7.45 a.m.
" " arr. at Harrisburg 11.45 a m.
" " " Philadelphia 3.33 p.m-
Eats Mail leaves l'.rlo 11.2u a.m.
l lteiiov.i 0 20 p.m.
" ' Lock Haven 05 p.m.
" " Wllllamsport 105oa.m.
" " Suiibury 12 40 a.m.
11 arr. nt linrilf.burg 2 40am
" " Iblljdelphla 0 40a.m
Eliiira Mail leaves I.n k Haven 0.45 a.m.
" ' MilliauiKport 11.00 a.m.
' " uubury 12.4l p.m.
41 arr.nt Hirrhlurg 3.05 p.m
" " I'blladilphla DM p.m.
XlinUA EXFEESS leaves Kauo D.OJ aix.
I " " Kenovo 4 0.", p In.
' " " Lock Haven 65pm.
" " " Wllllamsport 0.60 p.m.
" " " Suubnry MO p.m.
" ' arr at Harrlslmrz 10,56 p.m
" j. " " Philadelphia 2.60 a.m.
Mill K.nt connects east and wen at hrtewlth L
f .: M B U W and at Irviueton with Oil Creek and
Allegheny K R W.
Mall V esi 'villi t-aht and west trains m L S 4 M
S R V . and at L'orrj and lrviuetou with 01 Creek
and Allegheny R IM .
Elmtra Mail and Buffalo Ripre.s make close
connection. at Willlamsport with .N C U W tialus
uorth, and at Harrisburg with N O 1( W trama
south. V 31. A. 1IALD l.N.Uen'l Supt.
AT PRIVATE SALE.
"Tho Lehlghton JSchool .Board now
offer, at Privnto Sale, the following do
scribed valuablo REAL ESTATE, be
ing it portion of tlio Public School Pro
perty of the Borough of Luhlgliton, to
One Lot and Building,
situated on the corner of Iron and Pine
Etreets, and bounded unci described as
follows: On the noith by Iron street;
west by a common alley ; south by a
lot owned by Joseph Obert, anil east by
Pine btreet. The lot U 00 feet front by
180 feet i) Inches In depth. Also,
Numbered 153 and 154, situated on Pine
street, In said boiougli, bounded and
described as follows : On the west by
Pino street; south by lot No. 155; pas',
by West nlley, and north by Cedar al
ley, aid lots being each GO feet Iru t
by 189 leet 9 Inches In depth. 11 so,
One Lot and Building,
Situated on Northampton street, and
known as the South Lehlgluoti School
EeT For terms anil further particu
lars, npply to either of the under-limed.
JOHN S. LENTZ, President.
A. J. DUKL1NU, Secretary.
Dit. N. B REBEH, Treasurer.
Lehlghton, May 2, 1874.
Opposlto tho Public Squat p,
SOUTH ST., LEniGHTON, PA.,
Tin 8c Sheet Ironware
And Dealer In all kinds of
1ST Roofing, Spouting and Jobbing
promptly attended to. nov, 80
Uncle JoIiii'h Indian Story.
Undo John, ns ho was familiarly
known, was considered one of the best
story tellers extant. His stories always
had a touclt ol tho marvelous In them,
and his listeners generally ended his
sentences with exclamations about as
follows: 'Indeed!' 'Straneel' 'Wonder
full' and sometimes with a prolonged
ha! hat ha! that rent tho air with its
Once upon a tlmo a party of, us wero
seated around a red-hot stove, In a cer
tain State,telllng Jokes and relating ad
ventures. Our conversation was begin
ning to flag, when wo wero suddenly
enlivened by the appearance of Undo
John. He came forward and took a
seat, and niter being duly catechised
about his health, was requested to tell
Tell us a new story, Undo John,'
Implored a dozen voices at once.
'Hold on, all of youl' said Uncle John,
with assumed Indignation. 'Allow mo
to say that I am not a story-lelier; that
I never was a story-Mler; and that, In
all probability, I never shall be a story
teller. But, gentlemen,' salJ lie, ask
me to relate a reality, something with a
foundation, something Indubitably In
ll:putnble, unquestionably true. Re
member, gentlemen, that, If I tell you
anything, It will Do something real,
something to bo relied upon,' said
Uncle John, whoso faco had now as-'
suined a ludicrous appearance.
'Tell u about something that really
occurred, Undo John, said one of. the
'Well, boys,' 'aid Uncle John, Tvo
an Idea in my head that I don't think
I've ever told you about. It Is a little
Incident that occurred In tho land of ro.
maneo the 'Far West.' I am going to
tell you,' he continued, about a scrape
that I got Into among those red devils
yclept Indians. The V est had been my
home from early childhood. My father
and mother bad moved' from one of the
.Middle States when they wero lirst
married, and had chosen tho West as
the 9eld In which they would find their
weal or woe. Well, as soon as I was
old enough, I was taught the use of
firearms; and often, when my father
was at work In tlio field, I would sad
dle and bridlo one of our powerful
horses and ride forth on the plains,
very frequently securing enough small
game to supply the family with meat.
I used to pride myself on being a first
rate hot, though tlio long, heavy rifle
that I was taught to use would have
been a burden for am ordinary youth;
to me long practice had made It so fa
miliar that I could carry it all day with
as much easeas a Kentucky boy would
a common shot gun.
Our llfo In tlio West had been a very
prosperous and penceablo ono until I
was about entt ring my twentieth year.
The Ii'dians had never indebted ns,
tlioui.li they used to come to our house
to beg, sometimes to trade, and not un
frcquently for no other purposo than to
steal such articles as might be conveni
ently concealed among their dirty wrap,
pers. I always detected their thetti,
and sometimes would prevent them
from carrying off the coveted articles
by boldly tincturing that they had otol
en them aud demanding their restitu
tion. 'Well, as I said, all went well until
I was about entering my twentieth
year, when an incident occurred that
wasdfstlued to provo ocoof tlio most re
markable episodes In my life's history j
and this Is how it came about:
'Jfy father had given mo a horse for
my own use. I had spent a great deal
of tlmo In breaking and training It, mid
in all the great West there was not, per
haps, a finer or a nobler animal than
Duko Welllmjton,' for that was my
horses name. Duke, as I commonly
called him, ami myself were fast friends.
Indeed, this spirited animal seemed to
be as much attached to mo as 1 was to
him; he was as 'docile as a lamb If I
commanded, and at the same time, If I
wished It, he was oft over th plains
like the wind. Perhaps his value was
enhanced, In my estimation, by the
fact that I used to spend many pleasant
hours In galloping over the plains ac
companied by pretty Nellie Martin, the
cliinnlng daughter of 'Squire Martin,
who resided Just four tulles weit of my
own homo. Ono day I tethered Duke
among a lot of fine prairie grass' In
sight of tho house, and was taking a nap
for refreshment, when mymuther camo
and awakened me, telling mo that an
Indian was prowling aboutlu tho vicin
ity of roy borso In a very suspicious
manner. Jumping up, I seized my
rifle and hurried out to whero I could
see my horse. That tho Indian design
cd stealing him was apparent atj a
glance, for even as I stepped out of tho
house he had cut tho rope that tethered
hlra, and was In the net of mounting I
yelled at him to stop, but he appeared
not to hear mo; Instead of stopping, ho
took a northwnrd courso, and was fly
ing like mad acros tho prairie, ln In
stant I looked at him, nnd then raising
my rifle I fired, not however, with tho
expectation of cheeking him, for ho
was now nearly a quarter of a mile dis
tant from me; but, as luck or fate would
have It, lie fell from tho horse as sud
denly as If every nerve and muscle In
his body had been severed,
'My horso, being thus freed of his
furious rider, turned, and trottea back
to where I was standing. I suspected
that the Indian had not ventured to ac
complish his purnoso alone, so tetlred
Into the houso to await further develop
menls. Presi ntly a numuer of motley
looking figures, companions of the dead
Indian, stole up, seized their fallen com
rade, and set off In the direction that
he had been pursuing. For several
days I staged at home, expecting to bo
assailed by the friends of tho Indian
that I had killed, but as they manifes
ted no such Intentions I became Ie3
prudent, and on the fourth day, after
being duly cautioned by father and
mother to guard against danger, I moun
ted my horse, well armed of course, aud
set out to visit Nellie Martin, who, I
may as well stte here, was to me tho
most charming object to be lout d In
the We.-t. About half way between
Nellie's house and mine was a thick belt
of timber, through wlilclt I had to paS.
As I entered this timber I spoko to
Duke, aud lie quickened his gilt to a
lopo Wo wero about the middle of the
limber when my horso suddenly stopped,
sniffed the air and attempted to turn
back. Before I could command him or
even comprehend his actions, there a
loseas If by umgic. almost a multltudo
or lltlie, shabby figures, heterogenouily
made up of Mesh unit dirt, skins, feath
ers, tomahawks, fcilplug-kulves and
rifles. Almost beforo I was aware ol It,
I was a prisoner, with a lot of dirty do
mons brandishing tomahawks over my
head and threatnlng tu scalp me. Pres
ently one of the Indians, who was till
er and uglier than nny of the lest, came
forward and spoko as follows; 'Me great
chief, White man kill great chief's bro
ther; great chief kill white man ' Then
he drew aside and conferred with somo
ol his braves iu a tone so low that I
could only make nut a word now and
then. However, I comprehended en
ough to understand that they thought I
deserved a horrid utid llugeting death
tu atone for the dead brave.
Whatever their programmo was, they
soon determined what to do. Then
they tied me on a bare-backed horse,
and the whole band, of whom there
were about thirty In number, mounted
and struck nut over the plains, taking
mo with them. Wo had ridden about
forty miles, and I was beginning to
think that I had already suffered en
ough to pay for the blood of the en
entire tribe, when the whole band sud
denly came to a standstill. Before us
stood two trees, each about a foot In
diameter and between tho two trees
was a space of about eight feet. I scan
tied these trees narrowly, for as trero
were no others in sight, I knew that tlio
noble red men contemplatid mischief.
'Presently they all demounted, and
then I was uulled and made to stand
between the two trees. Then an Indian
produced some strong cord, and pro
ceeded to tie one around each of my
wrists. Having done this, an Indian
was sent up each of the trees, ono hav
ing hold of the cord on my right wrist,
the other having tho cord that was at
tached on my left wrist. They ap
proached to the height of about tw-lvo
feet, and then commenced drawing mo
up In tho air be' ween the two ttees. I
yelled with pain, but It did no good.
The Indians continued to hulst mo up,
until luy feet were nearly two yards
from tho ground, They then made tho
cords fa.-t to tho two trees, and I was
swinging in tho air with my arms
stretched at full length. Not satisfied
with this, however, they tied two other
cords around my ankles, and my feet
wero diawn apart In the same manner.
There I wrs, suspended In the air like
a big letter X, w'th ail those red devils
jeering and laughing at me. Tho vil
lous next proceeded to build a fire on
the ground beneath roe, and for an hour
at lea't I was smoked and singed until
I was almost unconscious,
'At last, the fire being Itself burned
out, these children of nature began to
study up some other modo of pastime.
Four of tho scoundrels having rifles
walked away a i-hort distance and am
used themselves firing at mo, to see
how close tliey could c mie without ac
I tuaily hitting tte. Tho bullets whist
led past me, they toro through my
clothes, and grazed my flesh, while tho
blood trickled down upon the ground
'I thought of Nellie, my own bright
eyed Nellie, nnd then I determined that
if ever my limbs wero free again, I
would escape or die. Presently tho
Indians raised thoir rifles and aimed
them with mora care than usual, I
thought they meant to kill tne, and when
they fired I dropped to the ground so
suddenly that I thought I wis making
my exit I rom the world. As soon as
I could collect my scattered senses I
found thnttlie Indians had shotthe cords
iu two, as a sptolmen of thelrsklli, and
hence my sudden descent to terra fir
ma. 'For a minute my limns were so numb
that I could not use them; and again a
vision of Nellie, of home, aud friends
camo Into my mind, audi resolved moro
firmly to escape. Like a flash of light
an expedient occurred to me, and if I
could only catry It out successfully I
would be free. Calling the chief to me,
I Informed him that if ho would let
mn live a day longer I would learn him
a secret that would make his trlbo one
of the gn n'.est and most wealthy tribes
on tho face of the earth. At first ho
appeared to doubt, but thinking that
n i harm w u'd cnino of it, he acquies
ced, and denial ded my secret. I pro
duced a pint p ittle from my pocket fill
ed with llqult. All the Indians were
curious to In a- what it was, and crow
ded around me. 'Great chief, form a
lino with your noble braves and you
shall have tho tecret.' In an instant
they wero in a line and all attention.
Great cLIef, said I, In this bottle there
l a l'q ild, wlili h. If you will open your
hands wide and straight; and let me
poursomo ol ill's liquid on your hands,
and you will then press your two hands
logetl or fir a little while, when you
open your hands they will bo full of
go.d. Will you and your noble braves
tiy It?' A row of Lands wero extended,
and I poutol some of the liquid In tach
one, and each one of tho Indtans closod
tl olr bauds very ILjluly for some min
utes. Hero Uncle John paused so lorg,
that some of us wero induced to ask,
'What next?' said Undo John. 'Why
I mounted my horse and rodo back
homo to Nellie and friends, having a
sadder If not wher band of Indians.'
'But how?' said we.
'How?' said Uuclo John. 'Why, tho
liquid that I poured into thoir hands
was a wonderful cement, wat ranted to
stick anything, aud to set in ouo min
ute, so I had them fast enough.
Here Uncle John arose and made his
exit amid a deafening roar of applause.
A Teiupcrunco Fact.
"I don't like that ted nose, and tlioio
blear eyes, and that stupid, downcast
look. You are a drunkard. Another
pint, and ono pint more; a glass of gin
and water, rum and milk, cider and
pepper, a glass of peppermint, and all
the beastly fluids which drunkards pour
down their throats. It Is very possible
to conquor if you will but ho resolute. I
remember a man In Staffordshire who
was drunk every day In his life. Every
farthing heearned went to tho alehouse.
One evening ho staggered home, and
found at a lata hour his wife sitting
alone, and drowned In tears. He was
a man not deficient In natural affec
Hons; he appeared to bo struck with the
wretchedness ol the woman, nnd with
some eageiness asked her why she fiat
crying, 'I don'illketotellyou, James,'
she said: 'but I must, I must; the truth
is, my children have not touched a mor
sel of anything this blessed day. As
for me, nevei mind me; I roust leave
you to guess how It has fared with mo.
But not one morsel of food could I beg
or buy for those children that lie on
that bed before you; and I am sure,
James, It Is better for us all we should
1 die and in my soul I wish wo were
dead,' 'Dead I said James, starting up
as If a flash of lightening had darted
upon him; 'dead, 'Sally I You, and
Mary, and the two young ones dead?
Look at roo, l&uyou sco what I am
now Ilko a bruto. I havo wasted your
substance the curse of God Is upon
mo I am drawing near to the pit of
destruction but there's an end; I feel
there's an end. Give mo that glass,
wife.' She gavo It to mo with astonish
ment and fear. Ho turned It topsy
turvey; and striking the tablo with
groat violence, and flinging himself on
his knees, made a roost solemn aud af
fecting vow to God of repentence and
"From that moment to the day of his
death he drank no fermented liquor,
but confined himself entirely to tea and
water. I never saw so sudden and as
tonishing a change. His looks becamo
healthy, his cottago neat, his children
wero clad, his wifo was happy; and 20
times tho poor man and his wlfo, with
teais in their eyes, havo told me tho
story, and blessed the evening of tho
fourteenth of Mnrch,thoday of James'
restoration, and havo shown mo tho
glass ho held In his hand when ho mado
the vow of sobriety. It Is nonsenso
about not being ablo to work without
ale, and gin, and o'.der, and fermented
liquors. Do lions and cart-horses drink
ale? It is mere habit. If you havo
good, nourishing food, you can do very
well without alo. Nobody works hard
er than tho Yorkshlro people, and for
years together there are many York
shire laborers who nover taste alo."
"A lato well-known member of tho
Scottish bar, when a youth, was somo
what of a dandy, and, I suppose, some
what short and sharp In his tamper. Ho
was going to pay a visit in the country,
and was making a great fuss about his
preparing and putting up his habili
ments, nis old aunt was much annoy
ed at all tho bustle, and stopped him by
the somewhat contemptuous question,
' liar's this you're gaun, Robby, that,
yemak rlc a grand wark about yer
clacs?' The young man lost his temper,
and pettishly replied. 'I'm going to
tho devil.' 'Deed, Robby, then,' was
the quiet answer, 'yo needna bo sao
nice; he'll Just tako ye as yo are." "
A Hartford young woman exclaimed
the other day, '-I havo excurted threo
times this summer.
An Iowa minister was recently kill
ed by lightening whiio standing on tho
banks of a murmuring stream and en
deavoring to convince somo bad boys
bathing on Sunday was a sin. An
Tho State officers and Legislature
of Michigan visited Chicago the other
day, and struck alt tho people dumb
but one newsboy. Said he: "Thero
goes a hundred men that can read and
A New York law Journal argues
that lawyers as a class are very poorly
paid, and that It is only by the forco of
an indomitable will aud extraordinary
talents that one of them occasionally
rises to wealth and fame.
Tho Detroit Free Press tells about
an urchin that was seated on the post
office steps, going through a watermel
on, when a man halted andasked "This.
Is a great town for hogs, Isn't It, bub?"
"Wall no," drawled the lad, as he fill
ed his mouth again and kept his eyes
on tho man; "you'll bo awful lonesome
One reason why Wisconsin hired!
girls get four dollars per week, Is be
cause they have to go down stairs at
midnight to Investigate strange .noises,
while the roan of the house takes up a
position under the bed.
To obtain a postage stand at Ni
agara hotel requires a five rolnutestrug
gle with two negroes and a bald-head
When a Chicago man can't lie on
on bis back and go to sleep without
dreaming of his mother-in-law, it is
considered a sufficient ground for di
vorce. Noble lords are scarce at the watering-place
hotels, and a cruel Western
man accounts for it on tho grounds that
it Is not time for tho barbers to take
their summer vactlons.
A grandmother writing to tho Lon.
don Times says that baso ball Is not an
American game, but an ancient English
one, long ago discarded In favor of
cricket. Asproof she cites a letter of tho
celebrated Mary Lepel, Lady Hervey,
written Iu 1748, In which tho family of
Frederick, Prince of Wales, aie describ
ed as "diverting themselves with baso
ball, a play that all who are or naro
been schoolboys tro well acquainted