Newspaper Page Text
(i ne avium
NP' ' S3 Vf JS Ty VJ, J ' VJ- V VJ
iarErEariEirT mve aml met urra."
o Dollar n Year In Advance
v6l. II., No. 20.
.'-:7 -V I if' - "
LEHIGHTON, CARBON COUNTY, PENN'A, SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 4, 1874
SINC1LE COPIES, THREE CENTS
JUatte-aoltfn)BnffwVi iBank KM! ?
Barber,,, j .
It. B. WIDDOS, iWnj? ihtr'Cilttmpand Siam
pooing, under I Irhamro llotfl. Punk street.- r i
Charles Yenwc nearly oppoitfttht pbiMjlef, Bank
street! afiveiealer n,KTV(V'm"'!'v .
CUntor Bretney, " lewM'i i WW,, Bank street.
MtnUrt mrLv IUltd-ork warranted.
-Herman iKihos, opposite Obert1. .tor., Bank
1 " -i t.rlOoiia,id0oorl , .
izriria ' OMmtvari, CarpcUl.Oxl CJoUU !.t"t
' Druuiai"l Medicine... ,
Durllng, ttrst door abOTO P. U, "rV "fk
; nrfumtH. mint lledtctnu, d-c ?
inll.nearl opp. Kachapg. liotel.,iau;
Thomaa.Kantj, " Eieng,'lo"pp:.rubllo-Squa.e,
Bank f.' Wronoge salfc tot
.V. Scliwkrti,B4Dk t-trftet, a "
.ijVtwnJ won', iimtK"if -
- i Milliner.;- ,-1 . .
"jIre..E.' Felly Bar .treat, 2nd ( Ulo; th. M.
n. i.i.n. and Surtreona.
Dr. C.Sdtttika, eorooref Bank andiron tra
ybiuUation in .i-nflluft and IM,
n.u ... 4,
' J uwri. r-tL,:wj glial.
t'unnj ana smociny
JV, Uioeeriut fruit and Ugtlable
ATTORNEY AND COtNSELiORt AT LAW,
. BiK 8ta, LiuwaiOK, PA
' ' . Vf.li-iinS nW; "Will But and
nd.o'.rpn-iI f ti1)0'?!Li,
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, - J
. - h i! iton. i'a.
'7. .. a.. ' iroi)lnfv nn of
ATIOUNEld. AT t AW, . ,
:rnA vioarlD the uw addl'lMi of tne
tVanlaetcd In Knell'!! and 0"man. .
yf,)Vm.d. and ConV waning nyallT
DISTRTCT ATTORNEY. ATTORNKT AT LAW.
Offl.,dBMtDWT; (frt;ioor W American
loUljMiiichOHunk, P.nn'a. Collactlonj PrODpt-
rt "Tti DIHSIIO K,
Rnit AVelianorti P'
North-east cornar of . M
?TZi -.--...: o
BERKS AND LAURENCE STREETS,
IILyi CVUaai '
j-r- Boprlor -fteoattiaofUUou for t(Tleri. at
-.r.u.lw... n.,u. .lllnn' thadtr from
tni.rT Cf-rrltTiT PpftnrlrttOr.
thUloaUty ro ipecially ln?llHl to mak the L-
hleh Taller Iiouw meir iwuuiug j.7. i"1
....ii mil. Carbon Co.. Pa.
4- Bet of awoniiaodatlona, ExcolUnt r
taurant undiwatbl '.Ooxl aubllot .attached
.11 'I !
.. .i. 1 Vn Si 3 1
Aroniteoi ana oupeiiui.cuuouv,
Vn.-li2 -W. Ttli Street. Allentown, Pft.,
luniUhes Flans. Specifications and Esti
mates (or rubllo-snd-PtlTatevBullUlnBS.,
StalTS, Ralls, 4c, Constiuctedand
StUp by the .most approved method,
and at shortjltitlce. Vatronace is res-
tluUV Isolltlttiar . nna satisfaction
OiayEh' CrflLliEYf dAler In To
batcp; Cigar?. PPPi, next door to
RexVOrocery Store, Susqnehanna St;,
4MivucV, Ohunlf, npectfully asks the
Annt of, Lfehiflliton'iind .vlelulty when
vlalttn tUat place, to call in and try his
"tbeWrV t)t"slnUho' market. 'Every
articles In his line warranted as r'epre
aebted nfl at Ibwett prices. mar28
3 1 iK m v w i
' AjMbadliirf Mutual -Dire, .
rtc ,f"eottvII!e lTlro,
1 t Lehigh Fire, and the
' trwvelcrK Accent Insurance'.
AlaWiyeaoiylvanla a'Dd .Mutual Horse
TMerf.' Irt:U?' Bd'I'u"rrJc"t,1om
jMja..r,v a, ?ffVeb; 89,1878.
at a. ..
jaq-OalTH PENNA. hailkoau,
RiisenifMi for Phlladalphla will leara Lehlgbton
i fcllowali!' t ', '
UK's, m , Tl'a trvj arrhe at Thlla at
737 a.m.TlaL.S. "
' HJ&& a.m
I1.07D. m. tlaL.i S. " ,
p, m. Ta L. t S, "
p. in. Yin u a d
1.44 n.m.Tla. L. VJ Hi
U p, m. Tia ij. v
nifnriinr: li.afi dnot at Barks and American
Street,, Phil., at 7.1U,;830 and 9,46 a. m4 2.10
rare rrom .emgnwn to rniwiufipuia,
Jebjl, 1874. MILLS CLARK, Agent
CENTRAL n. n. OF N. J.
LEHIGH 4 SUSQUEI1ANNA DIVISION.
i tfJirTBR AJtnANOEUBST,
40ommeuoliir J)c. 15, 1873.
i, o.l. No,
Zcare A. v. .A. i
Penn lla'n June.
Mauch.Chnnk..... ,7 JO 11.00
No. 10. No. 4.
Bethlehem; 8 66
CaUaaoqna ..... 0,V4
Mauch Chunk.-... lOiJ
Fcnn llaren J'n. 10.45
White Uaren 1123
Wllkea-Darre.....". 12 40
Bcrentin . 1J0
rr.Qreeu Ridge 1.35
Ntiaueumltia Yalliv lt;llr-Down tralni Nos.3
6 and 7, and Up trains Nob. 10 and 4 connect at
Kmih renria 21. It. Down tralni No. 1, 3, 5 a
7 connect at Bethlehem tor Philadelphia. Up tralni
Noav.lO &4 connect at BetnleDem ror rmiadeipuia,
Returnlnr learo Phlladelohla at 7.10 a. m. for Eas
ton, ilaucli Chunk, Bath, Wilkes Barre, Tamuqua,
Mrraoton. hnarcn. a,c: ai v.io a ui lur uiwn.
Mauch Chnnk; Tamaoua, Wllllainnprtrt, Wllkes-
Barre aiidScrantoni n.t'U.10 p. m. fur Scranton,
Wllkei llarre and Ifiiennedlats stations: at 3 30 D.
m.forBath'ahd Eastotf;'at 5.15 p. tn. fr Mauch
famaqua' Branch. Up trains Nos. 10 4, and
Down trains Nos.3, 5 Jt 7connectatMauchCbunk
to and rrom 'lamaqua.
lAMgli itjjacnawanna JfJif. uown iraina .soa.
U 7. and Ud tmlna Noa. 10 A 0 connect at lleth.
lehem for Bath and Chapman Quarries. Return
inv lMj.a f.uanmau's at 7.4'J a. ni. auu .I0 D. la.
close connection l.i,aiton wun;iraioaon unirai
Railroad if NeWJersey. t " .1 'n
n.1viibr.Dilaviare It. Jf Down trains hos. 3
4 5,'and Up trains Noi.lt 14 connect at t'hllllps
burl with Bel.-Drl. It. It. to and fiom Trenton,
IMiltmla nhla and Uemdere
Philadelphia ai A'euiing ifadroad. The Depots
of the East Penn R. K. and the. L. i S. Dlflsion
are connected by Street Cars.
U.P.BALDW1N, Oen.'itKncr Jcht,
r.b.7,S74 v ,
PHILADELPHIA t ERIE RR. DIVISI0:
Wlnfet Time Tallin
On and a'ri'er BUNDAV, NOVEMIIEnJcj, 1873,
the trains on the Phlla. A Erie RhDlrlflon will
Borno Sinus leares Philadelphia 12.65 p.m.
" " llarrlsburg o.' p.m,
. ." Wllllamsport 9.20 pjn,
. ' Emporium 2.15 a.m.
arr. at Buffalo &50 a.m.
Eau Mia (eiras Philadelphia 10 30 p.m,
' Harrlborg 3.05 p m,
" " , WlWIamsport 7.3) pm,
.11 ! Lock listen 8.40 p.m
1" , ' . Ilauoia 10.06 a.m,
" arr. at Erie 7 20 p m.
ElKlBl Mill, leans Philadelphia 8.0 J a m.
" ' ' Harrlsbure 130 n.m,
.'! MUJIameport, 6 2Jp.m.
, 'i arr, at lock uaren 7JOp.ni'
Rmoti AnoUaOD'n learea HarrlsburE 826 am.
Wllllamsp't 1265 p.m.
Bus EA0U sua learea w nuamsport 1.15 p.m.
) arr. at Lock Haven 3-10 p.m.
DurrALO Eirnuss learei Buffalo)
,...... , , jmportum
arr. at Uarrlskurg
Esn Mill leiTtl Erie
" arr. at llarrlsburg
" , Philadelphia
8 55 p.m
0 10 p.m
11. 2 J a.m.
a uo a.m.
Euuaa Mill learea Leek listen
arr. at llarrlsburg
IliauiiCkd Accox. learea Wllllamsport 0 30 p.m,
' arr. at UarrUburc 10.50p.m.'
" " Philadelphia 250 a.m.
Bau!EaouUau leates Lock llaren 12.24 p.m,
l' arr. at Wllllamsport 1 J") p.m,
Mall East connects east and west at Erie with L
S A M 8 It W and at Uorry and Irtloston with
011 Creek and Allegheny It It W.
Mall West with east and west trains on I. S 4 M
S K W. and at Uorry and Irtlnstoa lib. Oil Creek-
aim Allegheny It It W.
Elmlra Mall and Buffalo lucre's make close
connections at w uilainsport with NOR W trains
uorth, ud it llarrlsburg with N 0 R W train.
soutn. vsi' A. UALimi.ipUen'i aupi.
TT EIIIGIITON ACADEItlY.
JLe Lehlgbton, Pa.
Aulnatltutlonfor Dotli Sexea.
aer.C. iCESSLBU, Principal and Profeisor
of Classics and the Higher EngUsh
HBI.K.O, ICiaSSbBn, Preceptress and
Teacher of Painting and Drawing
sia. jourf M. iciasi-EU, a,.b. po
lessor oi iimaua ureea.
MISS JI. C. NEAp, Teacher of Uuslo.
1VILSON IlKHBIO AaslsUnC
Vor Particulars ayply to a K8SLXB, Lehigh-
Floral1 Guide for 1874,
200 rages ; 600 Engravings and Colored
Plate. Published Quarterly, at 29 cts.
a Year,' First No. for 1874 Just Issued.
A German edition at sanio price.
Address JAMES VICK,
bov. 89, Rochester, N. Y.
BEATTY & PLOTTS.
Tho Deatty & PJotts celebrated Gold
is acknowledged by. professors of musio
and celebrated organists to bo tho lead
ing Parlor Organ now In uso. Testi
monial and cards of honor are constant
ly being received In favor of them. Wo
tnppond a few and wish you to read
Antiiony, N. J., Jan. 25, 1873.
JeSsrs Ueatiy&Plotts, Gents Your
Organ, sold me, gives entire satisfaction.
It beauty of.tonu and style of workman
ship are seldom If ever surpassed. Wish
ing you success In your business, I am,
wiiu respect, l'ror, ii. si. ueatty.
SiiAMOKlN,,ra., Feb. 11, 1874.
I have one of Bentty & Plotts' Golden
Tongue Organs. It I: an excellent in
strument, fine tone and full power. I
into it ueiter (nan any 1 have heard.
M. II. IIAIIPEL, M. V.
Latjuy's Stat'n, Pa., Jan.- 27, 1874.
I, have had Realty & Plotts' Organ
slrco August 14th, 1872 j It gives the
highest satisfaction, and has proved all
that it was recommended by theprop'rs.
Slatinqton, Pa., Feb. 0, 1874.
Beatty & Plotts' Parlor Orcan I like
better than the Standard, and it gives
better satisfaction, as I find In my trav
els. Prof. Fa. V. Mayer.
St. Claib, Fa., Dec. Cth, 1873.
Messrs. Beatty & Plotts. Gents I
have received the Organ, as sent by your
firm to me, and I have had It examined,
and It glves'ample satisfaction.
lion. JOHN Siney.
Mahaxoy City, Pa., Oct. 10, 1873.
The Beatty & Plotts celebrated Gold
en Tocgue Parlor Organ fs by far tho
best Parlor Organ In use. I have care
fully examined it, and find Us tone.
workmanship and durability to bo' tlib
best I ever saw, and I can with pleasure
recommend it to nny in want or a first
class' parlor organ. Frof.'O. II. Unoek.
Messrs. Beatty & Plotts, of Washing
ton. N. J., aro L'entlemen of enterrjrie.
nnd'.wlibse, presence would be a credit
to any community. llackettstowii, N.
J., Herald, 1872.
WXauiNQTON, rS. J., Sept. 5, 1873.
'AorKouert-Moroan. 1 ottsvl le I am
hannv'W state thutthu Instrument elves
entire' satlactloh, not only to myself
uut.aispjlo tne'teacliers of tho Seminary
wuo are uener juuges.
Kev. A. M. Jelly.
Wo say, after careful and costly ex
periment, it Is with pleasure we Intro
duce tho !' Golden Toncue." knowlm:
;lt possesses msnj advantages over all
otners -manufactured, xiie tone excels
in'fullness,- purity, and the thousands
oi testimonials which aro being con
stantly received, are evidence that our
efforts have been eminently successful.
For particulars and Price List, nddress
BEATTY & PLOTTS,
Feb. 21-Om Woslilnaton. N. J.
rSHllE MANHATTAN Spring
1IEI mill flmiililniil I mi
P. J. KISTLER. .POSTMASTER
OF WEISSPORT, has been appointed
yigent lor LiiiRi'ton, weissiiort and
vicinity to give our citizens a cliunce to
see and test the merits of the arrange
ment of springs. He Is willing to put
them on trial for any person tor one
week, aqu it they ilo not paove supe
rior to the Voveu Wire Mattress, Put
nam, Yankeo, Norfolk, Wright, Spriug
field, Howe, Tucker, Eureka, Jlunroe,
Imperial, United States,, Walker, Con
necticut. Eagle, Salum or any of the
one thousand and ono Spring Beds that
have been put upon the market, you
are not asked to buy it. Tho above
namea oeus nave uecn discarded to
make room for the improved. It has
no hiding place for bugs, has no slats
on ton ot tl.e springs, but heavy duck
canvas, hooking at the base of the
spring, that may bo taken -off and the
slats removed (for cleaning or other
wise,) by anybedy in five minutes and
replaced at phaisuro. The springs may
be changed tCKther portions of the bed
with very little tiouble. The springs
are warranted to keep place and last
longer than any other In uso. For In
valids It cannot be surpassed. He fits
them to nny bedstead Or different weight
of persons, the largest Dumber under
the heaviest part of the body, and with
s light covering ot husks, cotton, straw
bed, or hair nmttresVtliey adapt them
solves completely to the body. The
ladles should call and see the arrange--meut
of springs for the cradle, and not
have to use feathers In warm weather.
They are better tliau soothing syrup or
cordials fur the little ones. The springs
are made from the very, best cost steel
from the celebrated Sheffield wokrs of
England. Come ono and all and see
them. These beds have been fully es
tablished in twelve different States.
The Furniture men are especially In
vited to.call and examine theso beds.
Beds put upon trial and no one asked
to purchase until after a fair trial.
I'. J. KISTLER
nov8 '73-tt Agent, Welssport.
iraOR SAI.E, The undersigned
offers his House and Lot, situate
In Franklin township, on the road lead
ing from Welsspoxtto Mackereltown, at
prlvato sale. The house Is 20 x 20 it.,
three ctorles In front with basement,
and the lot CO feet front by 100 deep.
Suitable for business stand. Apply to
March 14th, 1874-V.3
Millions of Acres
Now for Sale very Cheap.
Ten Years Credit, Interest only 0 p. ct.
Deserlpttro Pamphlet, with Sectlooil Maps, Fret.
A ban drome Illustrated raner, cootnliiloj; tho
HomttUad Law, mailed free to nil part of the
world. AJereM, ' O. F. DAVIS,
Land CcmmifiODer, U. P. It. R.
march 21-w4 Omaha, Nib.
StCftCns AND PLANT8.-W, 1..TI1U1U
D Kit k CO. UrooMyUf Windham Co., Conn,
offer full assortment, at moderate price. Twolre
assorted plants eut free by mall for 1.25. 25
papers Flower Seeds Mai for $1 Catalogues cent
free on application. mar 21-w 4
The Shortest Route to Fortune.
$450,000 Given Away I
, (100,000 FOR ONLY $2,501
Grand Legal Gift Concert
In aid of a Jurenil. Reform School at Leaven
worth, Kan. SIIAWINO. APRIL 30, 1871.
One Prise guaranteed In erory package of II
rtcVats. Olnzla Tickets. tUM: t fort 12: II ibl
J25. But few tlcketa left; and, as our sales aril
rapid, purehaaes should order at once. An
Dinner arrlrlnc? too late will be returned. Good.
reliable Agents wanted ererywhere. For full
narSl-w4 LEAVKNWQHTII, Kan
WANTED A GENTS(W
Paper Itellglon and Health united A splendid
premium lo etery subscriber nothing; like It In
the countrr a rare chance; partl'nlare free.
U. D. HUS BLU l'ub'r, Boston, Mass.
And Insect Powder
Rats, Mice, Roaches, Ants, Bed-Bugs,
Moths, &e. J. F. HENRY, CURRAN
& CO., N. Y Sole Agents.
New York Day-Book.
A IUuoctUTrc WstllT. Established 1830. It
supports H7iife 'Supremacy, political and aoclal.
leriiia, per year, "penmen copies irve. Atl
dress DAY-BOOK, New York City.
Write for a Price List to J. II. JOHNSTON,
(jtsWestem Gun Works,
170 SJ1ITIIFLELU STIU'.KT,
Breech-Loading 8hot Onns, $40 to $.100, Doubt.
Shot Ouns $S to J150. Single Oun, (3 to t2.
Rines, S to $75. IlerolTors, $3 1" $21. Pistols, $1
tnJS. (Inn Matrrlal. Fishing Tackle, lei Large
dlsrountato dealers or rlubs. Army Quns, Ilerol-
rers, &e., nougni or traueu lor. uooas sent oy .a
press O. O. D. to be elsmlaed before paid fon
EAT TO LIVE !
Write to F. X. S5IITK k CO., A tin n He MIIIr.
BrtKiklrn . n. t manufactuwri of the C mailed
White Wlirati for tbelr pamphlet (wot free)
on Food I with .DipYtaiitextracU from Llioia,
Jonicso.i and other clentfa.i. ltead It and mtp
your hrelth and money mr,21
BUY J. & P, COATS' BLACK
THREAD for yoor MACHINE.
PITS and EPILISPdtf
positively cured, The wont cam, of lonzeat
itandlDir. by unlnjr DR. UKDDAKD'S CURK. A
bottle wot free to all addressing J. . DiDt,
vruzewt Bi-ifairj Arenue, n 1. mrzi4
Will out I Truth Trl
umnhantl Agents, oil
and young, male and
female, make rnore money selling our French and
American Jewelry, Bocks stid Games than atanj
tblng else. Oreatest tudureoieufa to Agents and
ATurcnasers. Catalogues, Terms and full parties
lara sent fre to all, Addr.
P.O. VICKKIIY, Augusts, llalne.
Livery 8c Sale Stables,
BANK atTEEET. liEIIiaifTOrt, Pa.
I always keep on hand the best hnr
ses and finest carriages, to be let at
livery at, the lowest prices. Conveyances
tan uo uuu ui mo ut me suoriesc possi
ble notice, at any hour. I would call
the attention of the public to my spec!
al facilities for supplying single ordou
ble teams for funerals, Ac.
hoe. 22. 1S73.- DAVID EBBKRT.
Opposite the Publlo Senate,
SOUTH ST., LEHIQHTON, PA.,
Tin & Sheet Ironware
And Scaler In all kinds ot
fW Roofing, Spouting and Jobbln
promptly attended to; nor, 80
Tiio Two Ways.
In the1 county of Lancashire that
busy hlvo of Industry It Is customary,
as it Is in some other counties, oti
Christmas Day to give to the poor peo
ple In the workhouses a treat, In the
shapo of an extra dinner, with plum-
In the year 1809 a gentleman, who
Is a- member of ono of the .Board of
Guardians In' that county, went up to
the workhouse In tho union where ho
resides, In order to see how the poor
people fared. Tho dlnuer time wasfix
ed for 12 o'clock. It was about a quar
ter before twelve when the gentleman
referred to arrived at the workhouse.
He spent the Intervening minutes which
were to spare in walking around the
Louse. Ho went Into a room where
sixty or seventy men sat anxiously
waiting for their dinner. Taking up a
position In front of the fire, from whence
he could obtain a sight of all their faces,
he spent one or two minutes In looking
round. After a short pau'so ho broke
"I was looking round," said he, "to
Bee If there, ,was any one here that I
knew; but I think there is not, unless
It be that man there," pointing to a tall
man on his left.
"No, " said the man, "you don't know
"I think I do," replied tho visitor.
"No, you don't" responded the man.
"You used to live at Summerseat,"
said the visitor, "did you not?"
"JVo, I never did," answered the man,
"But," said tho visitor again, "did
you not work on the East Lancashire
Railway there, when they were making
It, some thirty years ago?"
"Aye, I did," roplled the man..
"I thought I knew you," was the ans
wer of the visitor.
Auouier voice, proceeding from a
man behind tho other one, called out
"I used to wurch ut Summersheat
thirty years back, un aw gects lots
"What,'' said the visitor, "lots
o'brass. How Is It you are hero then?1
The man did not speak, but he aus
wered In a more significant way than if
he had spoken: raising his hand to his
mouth, he made motions as if he were
emptying a glass.
Ono of the paupers at tho other end
of the roo'ra, upon set log this, called
"It's dthrink uz sends uz 'o here."
'Now," ,sald the gentleman, who
was still standing near the fire, "Just
listen to me lor a moment. Our friend
there says that thirty years ago he was
working at Summerseat, "getting lots
o'brass." Thirty years ago 1 was a boy
woiklng at Summerseat, "getting elgl:
teen pence a week," aud here we both
meet to day. Our friend there Is i
pauper, I come as a poor law guardian
but I never did that," (lifting his band
to his mouth as If In the act ot drink
ing.) "I never," continued, he "spent a
penny upon drink In my life. When
I had got my wages, I used to think
that down hero (putting his band Into
his pocket) or else In my mother's
pocket was the place where the money
.ought to go, and not In the pocket' of
the publicans. And Instead of (spend
Ings my evenings In staring Into quart
pots and plut-pots n a public-house, I
usod to go to the evening school or tlill
Mechanics' Institute; to get a kuowl
edge to fit myself for the battle ot life
andhere I am to-day, and there our
Tho.man who had previously called
out, again shouted In tones louder than
"It's dthrink uz sendz uz 'q here."
The ivorkbouso where this incident
occurred ws the Bury Union Wprk-
house. The visitor was Mr, William
Uoyle, the author of "6ur National Re
sources, and How Jhoy are Yated."
Jfr, Hoyle was then, a factory ,lad, earn
ing bis elgbteen-pence a; week. He Is
now a large employer ot labor, well
known on the Manchester Exchange,
and Is a writer of great reputation on
economical and social questions. Brit
The following dialogue was over,
beard the other 'day In Jauch Chuuk:
"Say, Jim, l'se noticed Buraefln' lu die
t6wn, Is you?" "I dunno wedJer I Is
or no, SI; what Is It?" "It's dlst Is
you. noticed when a strango darkey
comes here dat'mounts to soman, tie
white folks say, who Is' that colored
man?' hut the culled people eay, 'wbb
Is dat nlgga?' Jim, ft nlgga ain't got no
en, no howl" "Oftt'j w, 61, eho'a
Old yarns Darned 'stockings.
A genius Is popularly said to bo
one who, can do everything except
mako a living.
-"Prayed outot town," are tho
words nailed on the doors ot several
saloons in SJenia', Ohio,. .
-Speaking of becoming attire, what
thing Is most likely to become a woman?
Why, a Utile girl, of. course.
"I'm particularly uneasy on this
polnt,",'satd the' fly to the young gentle
man Who struck him bri the end of a
Afan Is a neetldg paradox, which
the fullness of time 'can alone explain;
a living englma, of which tho solution
will bo found in death. " '
"If a naughty girl shouldhurt you,
like a good girl you ,would fprgtvo, her,
wouldn't you? "Yes, marm'" sho re
plied, "If I couldn't catch her.'k
Tho Danbury philosopher observes,
that the placidity, ptexprcsslon worn by
a man who Is, "next" Ina lull barberfs
shop cannot be counterfeited.
Mrs. Smith, says her husband Is
like a tallow candle, because ho will al-'
ways smoke when ho is going out. And
she might have .added: 'because', he Is
light-headed when ho comes In.
"Ochl" said a' love-slok Hibernian,
"what a recreation It Is to be dying of
lovel It sets tho heattachlngso' delicate
ly there's no taking a wink of sleep for
the pleasure ot tKe pain I",
Soino scientific wretch has beeif
suggesting that when a physician sup
poses his patten to be dead, he ought jo
pierce tho heart of the supposed. depart
ed with a 'long needle, ,to make sure
work of.lt. As It doctors did not know
how to make sure work ot. their pi'tlenti.
with. ouf such experimental Wo.protost.
against any innovation's upon the. estab
lished method of medical procedure.ln
facilitating our exit from this sublunary
sphere. ' , ,
There.is an old darkey In.oMot
tho back' counties who lately, voted' tor
local option, as. he understood It, but
not as the public generally understand
it. The story, a true one, tuns thus:
At a recent. election a friend asked, tho
old man how he was going to vote.
"Ob," the replied, '.'the iRepubllcan
ticket, I always vote' that ticket."
"But how are you going ito, vote on
local .option?" The darkey looied up
and- asHed: "What's that? , "Why,
local option. Is putting down liquor," -was
the reply. Lors a .massy," tald
the darkey, "ot course I vote for. local
option; I votes to put down liquor' to,
the old prlc.o, flp-pcnny-blt a, pint!"
Not very unlike, his paler brethern.ls
that very same old darkey. .
The plaintiff In a recent case at :
court was1 asked what he expocted to
gain by such a suit. His reply war,
"You have Heard 'of the man who,
going down the river in a flat-boar,-moored
the boat ono day' to the 'bank,
and, going up Into tHetlmbcrVfound a
man engaged '61lmblng first ono tree,
then'rspldly Seconding (and occasion
ally falling;) and running to another
tree and' repealing the operation. ConV'
tlnulng this for sometime,' tlio fiat-boat
man approached the stranger (being
,cur(ous to knbw the object of! his
Istrange manoovres), and asked wiat'bo
was doing. The stranger', pointing to
a woodpecker on the topmost branch,,.,
asked the flat-boat man il he saw that
Woodpecker. 'Yes,' said the other,
'but you certainly do. not expect, to
catch it?' "'No, of course not,' tald
the stranger, 'but'i; will worry IV '
It Is said that the .Chinese declare
that Noah's real name was Ah Boo,
and that he resided In Pekln. Unfor
tunately Noah's family Bble was lost,
In the flood, and wo cannot ascertain
from It exactly what his namp was.
His door plato also seems to be mission;,
and he had a vory careless. way ot neg
lecting to mark his shirts; so .Wo are
baffled in that direction. -We have In
quired at the libraries for a copy Of.tho
l'ekln directory of that date, t6 sea.lt
Noahroally figured In. Hi pages;'the
only copy any of there had' wa out;
-t-or our part, we.do not believe tbat hls'
name was Ah Boo, or tba't he resided
16 Pekln. 'These Chliamen really claim
every tblng that is going, from gunpowff
er up to newspaper. If we itIto them
.any ground'on the NoaX 6u'sliiet'VA".o
first thing wo know they will'bVout'
with' the assertion that the 'ark was lo
cated In the Pekln Mutual Company,
una'ioai aoau usea to givo mo Pekln
newspaper people fred tickets toco In
and eo the animals perform;'