MUCH Lit LITTLE. - - - e- - t- -v .. - I . ., TJUI 1 FOiLtSlBD IT BAT WIMUMf, IT GOODLANDER & LEE, OLKARFIKLD, PA. - ESTABLISHED I M I0ST, The largrat Circulation f any Htwepapor lu North Central Pcnnaylrauia. . .Torms of Subscription. t If paid In adraiioe, or within I month..... 93 OO If paid efUr 1 aad eefore months..,..,,., ft AO It paid after the uptratloa of months.., 9 OO Bates ot Advertising, Transient advertlsementa, par square of ! It dm or iiut, 8 time or less M .... ..$! 0 poreaon subsequent insertion.. 60 Administrators' and Kxeeuton'ootioM...... t (0 Aq tort' notices ....w.M.,.t..H.H.M 1 60 Cautions and Eatray .. I 60 Dissolution notiees 00 Professional Cards, 6 tinea or lau,l year..... 00 Leeal notie,!, per Una ........ 10 YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS. 1 square 8 Ot eoluran ,...$M 00 squares.. 1ft AO I column. TO 00 Itquarea... 20 00 I eolurnn.. 130 00 it 1 1 . n. B. OOODLANDBK, Publisher. Carfls. JJ W. SMITH, A'i'TORNEY-AT-LA W, ll l:7J Clearfield, Pa. "J. J. LINGLE, , ATTORNEY -AT -1:11 Phlllpabars;, Centra Co., rf r. & W. BAHKET LAW, Pa. yipd Attorneys and Counselors at Law, CLEARFIELD, PA. January 0, 187B. JSIUEIi TEST, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Clearfield, Pa. rnioi in the court Doim. . jjiier "yil. if. McCULLOUlill, ATTORNEY AT LAW, . CLEARFIELD, PA. Offl.-e In alaeoRle betiding, Second etreet, op poeite the Court llouee. Je2A.'7-tf. C. A UN OLD, LAW ft COLLECTION OFFICE, CURWKNSVILI.K, . CleRrfield County, Penn'a. e2 T6j BROCK BANK, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CLEARFIELD, PA. Offloe Id Opera Houea. ap JJ,'77 l7 AMES MITCHELL, DRALRR IR Square Timber & Timber Lands, Jell'TJ CLKARFIKLD, PA. s, V. WILSON, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Offiae en. dour rest of IVeitera Hotel building, nppoeita Coart llouee. . 1.6,77. CLEARFIELD, PA. pRANK FIELDING, " ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, ClearUeld, Pa. Will attend to all bualneaa entruated to hit ' promptly and faithfully. ' Janl'T J. F. SNYDER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CLEARFIELD, PA. Offloe In Ple'e Optra lloaeo. June Id, '7Stf. William A. wallacr. mrtD L. rriii. BARRT P. WALLACR. JORR W. WRiaLST. WALLACE &, KEEBS, (Huxeaiora to Wallaoe FielJiOR,) '.ATTORNE YS-AT-LA W, ; Jaal'rr ClearSeld, Pa. r. O'L. IIICR. . . A. A. URAHAR. BUCK A UHAIIAM, ATTORNEY8AT LAW, j OI.RARP1RLH, PA. All legal ba!nese pronptlr attended to. Ofliea In (Irahem'a Row rooma formerlr ooounled bv j 11. B. tf, . JuljH 'r-tr. TROI. a. MURRAY CTRUI BOBDOR. JURRAY A GORDON, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, . CLEARFIELD, PA. i ' .RVOfficR la pie'a Opera Uonaa, teoond floor. IOIBFB . M RRALIjT. BARIRL W. R'ctlRnr. McENALLY & McCTJRD Y ArrORNETS-AT-LAW, t'lrarlicld, Pa. ar-LogAl bHilneea nttended to promptl wlthj Idelitv. Offlae oa Haoond atraot, above tbe Pint National Bank. 9an:l:7fl ' A G. KilAMER, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. , Raal Eitata and Collection Agent, , ' ' tl.EAHFlIil.n, PA., Will promptly attend to all legal builnii) an traeted to bie earn. ar-Ofnoa la Pia'a Opera Home. Jinl 'It. JOUN L. CUTTLE, ATTORNEY AT LAW. tud Raal Ratate Arent, Clearfield, Pa. Offloe oa Tbird atraot, bat.Cbarrj 4 Walnut. ar-Keipect(ullj otori bit tarrlieiin telling nd bujlng laadl la ClearlelJ and adjoining onntiea and with aa aiporieooa of over twentT art aa a eorrejor, oatten klmielf that ba oan nder atlifaatioa, Fab. H:lJ:tf, JIl. E. M. SCIIECRER, IIOMCKOPATUIO PHYSICIAN, OBoa la reiidenoe oa Firat it. April 14, 1171. Claarleld, Pa. QR. W. A. MEANS, HY8ICIAN A BURGEON, i LCTIIRRBBIIRll, PA. Ill attend profoailonal oalli proroptlj. auglOTt "R. T. J. BOTER, HY8ICIAN AND SD IiQ EON, Offloa OB Market Street, Clearflold, Pa. P-Ofloa hoart t I to II a. m., and 1 to p. n. R. J. KAY WRIGLRY, BOMIKPATUIO PHYSICIAN, Mr-Oftoe adjoialeg tba mldanna af JaRiai glejr, Kaq., oa tloognd St., Cloarield, Pa. .Jjil.'IB lf. , h JR. U. B. VAN VALZAII, C'l.RAItVIKl.O, PEN IV' At ' ?F1CE IN MASONIC BUILDING. f- OBoa boon Froai 11 to i P. M. Maj II, 1171. yt J. T. BURCHFIELD, a SargooB e( tka lid KagiRioal, PeaairlranU olaauora, knvlbg relHrood froaj tka Ana, fort hla profaaeioaal tarrleoa to thaaltiaoaa 'OlaarfleldaoaatJ. , RT'ProfeiaioBal oalla proRipllr attended ta. a aa Baooad atraot, fomerlvooenpiod b Woode. apra.'ti U V ILLIAM M. HENRY, Jurtioe f or tbr Praob ana BraiTRiaRR, LUMBER Y. Colloettona made and Raoner pronptlr I arar, , Artielne of agroaRaoot Rnd dearie ol teraaee aoatlj aaooatod and aarranted eor or aa aharga. Mjr'7l TARRY BNYDER, L BARBER AND HAIRDRESSER, bop oa Market HI- npaaalta Oaart Hoaaa. A eUaa lowel awr .rar, enatonaar. Alaa MBufaetarer of 1 Klade af Artlrlea In Haaaa Hair. aa-Setd, Pa. , aaay 1, '7. JHH A. RTADLRR, BAI8R, Mirbet St., CkbtSrld, Pa. Freab Bread, Reek, It oil a. Plat and Cakaa and at aaade ta order. A general aeaortaBeat ataetteoaraet, Fraiu aad Mate la (took. Oreaaa and Oyrtere ia aeaaea. Salooa aeart, lte tka PoatoBM. Prtooe aaeaeraU. ateb IS-'tl. CLEARFIELD "GEO. B. GOODLANDER, Proimetor. PRINCIPLES, NOT MEN. TEEM3-$2 per onnnn in AdTance. VOL. 52-WHOLE NO. '2,582. CLEARFIELD, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7, 1878. NEW SERIES-VOL. 19, NO. 30. (Sards. 1 OH PRINTING1 OF EVERY DE3CRIP J Iton neatly ORaoatod at tbta offloa. HENRY BRETH, . . . ' (onTKwn r. a.) JUSTICE OP THE PEACE for Rr.LL towriHir, M. 8, l7.jo .. JOHN D. THOMPSON, J a it lea of the Peaoa and Scrivener, Curweiiavllle, Pa. ' tefuColltxOlona mada and mooay prompt! j paid over. rab2S'7Uf RICHARD HUGHES, . JUSTICB OF THE PEACE . , for Itrcatur Township, Oaoeola Mill. P. O. I II official hoalnoea anrraataal to' bias will bo promptly attended to. meh29, 'Trt. THOMAS H. FORCEE, Dl ALU I i KNKKAL MERCHANDISE. CiU All AIHTON. Pa, Alto, extemira manufacturer and dealer In Square Timber and ttawed Lumber o! all Ktndi. -Ordtrt lolloited and all billi prompt It Oiled. ljyl7Z WARREN THORN, BOOT AND SHOE MAKER, Market ft., ClearUeld, Pa. , In the aliop lately ooenpied b? Frank Short, ooe door west of Alleghany Houao. REUBEN HACKMAN, Houso and Sign Painter and Paper . : , Hanger, . 1 ( Irarlirlil, Peiin'a. koa-Will exeouteioba in lila line prouutly and to a worRinanime manner. arrf.07 G. H. HALL, PRACTICAL PUMP MAKER, NEAR CLEAKFIULD, PKNN'A. jr-VPompe alware on hand and made to order en inort notice, ripen bored on reoionahletermt. All work warranted to render latiefactlnn, and delivered if deilred. tny26:lvid E. A. BIGLER 4. CO., , MALRHI IN SQUARE TIMBER, apd manulaeturora of AM. KIND OF StAWF.n LUMHKR, -7'72 CLEARFIELD, PENN'A. JAS. B. GRAHAM, dealer to Real Estate. Square Timber. Boards, BHIMH.Kfl, LATH, A PICKETS, ff;16'7X Clcar&cld, Pa, WEAVER & BETTS, PRALRRa IR Real Esta'.e, Square Timber, Saw Legs, AND LUMBER OF ALL KINDS. K-tr-Qfftct on Fooond atreot. In rear of atoro room of George Wearer A Co, fjatit, 'TSlf. J. BLAKE WALTERS, REAL ESTATE BROKER, ARB BRALRB I Saw Iaoks ud Iiinnbor, CLEARFIELD, PA. Offloa la Oraham'a Row. 1:2&:71 S. I. SNYDER, PRACTICAL WATCHMAKER . AXD MALM IS Watches, Clocks and Jowolry, Orakan'i Rom, Martei Strut, 1 CLEAR PI EI.D, PA. All klndi of repairing la aij Una promptly at- lV?w Iff arble Yard, The undenicned would Inform the bnblle that be bftlopftntMl a new Maible Yard on Third etreet. Krpeite the Lvthrran Church, where he will keep cuDPienuj on nena a ttoflK ol Tanout kiant or maible. All iindi of - TOMBSTONES, MONUMENTS, aPoaU for IXmttrrv Lot, and all other work In fail Una will ba promptly executed in a neat and workmanlike manner, at reanonablfl ratal. HecwaranteenMtUfacUirv work and low tirlML Oive him aeall. J. FLAHAKTY. Clearfield, Pa., March 17, 1H73 if. ANDREW HARWICK, 17 Market Street, Clearfield. Pa., HAMtTPACTntRR AMD DaALBM IM OAR NESS, SADDLES, BRIDLES, COLLARS, and all kind of , HOHSB FVRNI8UINQ 00008. . A full tok of Kaddlere' Herd ware, Bruihee. Com In, Ulinkotfi, Robot, etc., el way on band and for tale at tba lowevt caih prices. All kinds of mitring promptly attended to. All kind! n hldaa taken in eirhanire for bar- wi and reptirlng. All kinds of barneis leather kept on band, and for sate at a email profit. istearue.ii, ran. iv, ibto. E. WARING'S LAW BLANKS For sale at the C leer (I eld Rart-aucA office. Themoni Complete RerUofBsi it lank ptfbf ijrA.ff. Tbeie Bltnks are gotten ap ta tuprrior style, are af nniform tiaa, aad furnished at vary low figures for eaeh. Call at the Rarrai.tcia office and eiamla them. Orders by mnil promptly fllltrd. Addrrs, i)OODLANlKK LKR, July 1STT V. t Olearfiald Pa. t r H RANCH Insurance agencY. I'KNTZ A HHOCKBANK, Ageota. (Haeeeaaore to Murray A Oordoe.) Thelollowlaflratelaaa eoeapaalea rapreean tad: N.rlk Rrillah A Mereaatlle rite Ina ' Co.. of England 118,000 DOS Soottl.h OoBaeaeroaal Fire lae. Co of England 110.000,000 North Anrrlea. of Philadelphia ....... 4,700,OM Fire Aeaoetation, of Philadelphia 1,100,009 Watertowa Fire, New York, laaaree farea property only 700,00, Mobil. Fire Department Ina. Ct H I7k,0f0 Pereoaa in the eoontry wanting iBaoranoa, aaa bare It promptly attended to by addreaaing aa in peraon or by letter. Loweat pneeiblc ratee in Orat elaaa eompauiea. Ae oewMMeela. Olline in Pie'a Opera Uooae. ANDREW PEN Tit, Jr., 8. T. BROOKBANK, ClearBeld, May t, 187S-ly. Agenta. JOHN TROUTMAN, DIALER IN FURNITURE, H VTT iti:ssii, AND Improved Spring Beds, MARKET STREET, NEAR P.O. Tka naderelgnod boga leaee ta Inform tbe eltl. teea of Clearflold, and the pnblie generally, that be baa aa hand a flne eeeertment of Pnrnlinre, aaeb aa W.lnet, ChMtnat aad Paintee) Chaaikee Solvae, Partor Balua, Raellaiag aad Eatenalaa Chaira, Ledlee and Oente' .aey Ohalra, tba Per forated Dining aad Parlor Chaira, Cane Seataaad Wlndeor Cbairt, Clothe. Harm, Htep and Matea lea Laddera, Hat Raoke, Berabblng Brnabee, Ae MOULDING AN PICTURE FRAMES, . aoklng ou.ee., Chroaaoa, Ae4 wklek ayeaM ajtabaa fee Holiday areenta. deolO'71 JOHN TROrTMAN. HPEAK SOPTLY. fipeak aoflly, fantlt aver 1 There U no wlier part f For hana wordi pieroa like lUal The vearnini, loving beart. At ffetne relleet la brihtaeu Kvary flitting beam. Let wordi refleot la klndneei Luto'i lannj, lor-lit gleam. Speak eofUr, neatly aver Tbera ie do better plan For annry wordi ean never Iffeai what kind eea aaa. For, oh t a eon word apuken May Rare the itaWbora iool. That itll. would prova defiant Should word la tbaader roll. f peak eeftl. gentle aver I Word breathing naught tare love t And toon ear blighted Kdea Will hloM aa realms almva I ' Forfeitk and fond affection Jo true fove-koot entwiaed, Will Artaer awrda then tenpur'd ileal kHi htppy kwrttMUi blntJ. HOUSEHOLD RECEIPTS. ' ttlO BALLS. Boil fivo Irohli ci'l'S nuite hard, and lav tlirm in told water to trot cold Tuko (he yolks out and pound them smoothly with tho beaten yolk of one froeh egg; put a littlo cayenne and suit, roll the mixture into Tory small nans, and Don them lor two minutes. Haifa teaspoonful of Sour can be work- ed up with the eggs. RAHl'BEHBT JAM. Weigh the fruit, and add three quar ters of tbe weight ol sugar ; put tbe lormer into a preserving pn, boil, and break it; slir constantly, and. let it boil very quickly ; whon tbe juice has boiled an hour, add the sugar and sim mer half an hour. In this war tho jam is superior in oolor and flavor t3 that which is made by putting the su gar in iir. LEMONADE (BOTTLED). DisKolvo half a pound of loaf sugar in one quart of water, and boil it over a slow firo; two drachms ol acetio acid; four ounces of tartaric acid when cold, add two ponny-worth of essence 01 lemon, rut one sixth ol the above into each bottle filled with wa tor. and add thirty grains of carbonate of soda; coik it immediately and it win tie nt lor use. bottling, cukiiuiis. Jo every pound of fruit add six ounces of powdered lump sugar: Fill the jnrs with fruit, shake the sugar over, and no oucu jar down with two ulnuilers, as there is danger ol one bursting during the boiling. I'laco tho jars in a boiler of cold water, and alter tbe water has boiled let them re main three hours; take them out, and when cool put them in a dry place, wbero they will kocp over a yoar. ' ' BRITISH PORT WINE. Take of British grape wine, or good oiuor, lour gallons; ot the mice ol red beet root, two quarts; brandy, two quarts ; logwood, lour ounces ; riiatany root, oruiseu, nan a pound, f irst In fuse the logwood and rhatany root in brandy, and one gallon of grape wine or cider, for a week; then strain off tho liquor, and mix it with tho other ingrodionts. Keep it in a cask for a month, when it will be fit to bottle, TO CURE IIAM. As soon as the hams are cut, tie them up by tbe hock for three days. Then make a pickle, thus: One ounce of sal'.putro, half an ounce of salt pru nella, one pound of common salt, one pound of coarse sugar, ono ounce of juniper berries, and one gallon of strong beer; boil all together, and when cold pour it ovor the hams. Turn them every day for a fortnight. Tbisquantity of pickle will be sufficient for two hams. ICIENQ FOB CAKES. Have roady a ponnd of the best white sugar, which pound and silt well through a liove ; put It into a basin with tbe whites ot throe fresh eggs ; beat woll togothor with a wooden spoon, adding the juice ol half a dozen lemons; keep beating woll until it be comes very light, and hangs in flakes trom the spoon (it it should be rather stiff in mixing add a little more whito of egg ; If, on the contrary, too soft, a littlo more sugar ;) it is then ready for use. TO Boa ONIONS. reel mcdlum-si.od whito onions and let thom stand in cold wator one hour ; then put them into boiling wator, and boil fifteen minutes; pour out this wa ter and put in more boiling water, and cook till soft ; then pour off the water and put in a little milk; season with butter nnd salt, and let thom cook In tho milk about five minutes; thicken tho gravy with u little flour and wa ter. This way of cooking will take away the strong taste of the onions, and make them tender outsido as well as inside. , RASPBERRY VINEGAR. Tako four pounds of raspberries. pour ovor them half a pint of vinegar, plane it in an earlhon jar, and cover it securely, so that no air can enter, and placo ft In a Bunny window twolvo hours; take it in at night, and place it out again in the sun the next day for another twelvo hours. Thon placo 1n a flannel bag till the Juice has run through without pressure. Then for every pound of juice take a ponnd of loaf sugar, and boil it for a quarter of an hour, or till the scum arises ; then put it into small bottles, and well oork It. - children's FRO IT PUDDINO. Cut slices of bread, and lay them in a pia-disb till it is nearly full ; pour over enough hot milk to soak the bread, then boil some fresh fruit, black or red currants, and raspberries, or all mixed together, with nearly hair their weight in sugar. As soon as it conies to a boil tako it off and poor it over the bread ; bake about twenty minutes. It may bo eaten hot or cold if cold, it should bo prossed down lV means of a dish placed on It and some weight. tv aen wanted, it can bo turned out. By adding a little lemon iuico to the soaked bread, the flavor is greatly im proved. If a nice enstard is poured over the pudding, it bocomos quite a dainty disb. . ' CflERRIES PRESERVED. Take fine larg. cherries, not very ripe ; take off tbe stems, and take oat the stones; save whatever juice runs from them; take an equal weight of white sugar; make the svmn of a tea cup of water for each pound ; tot it over the fire until it ia dissolved and boiling hot, thon put In the jnlce and chorriee, boil them gently until clear throughout; take them front the syr up with a skimmer, and spread them on flat dishoa to cool ; lot tbe syrup, boil until it is rieb and quits thick ; set it to oool and settle pot the trait in to jars and pots and potir tho syrup carelully over, lot lbem remain open mi in naxo oar i men cover as at- reeled, flweot cherries are improved by the addition of a pint of red currant juice, and half a pound of sugar to it, nir mnr or nve pounds or cherries. " T WO- FO UR TEEN." Tilt TURF EVENT OF THE AGE. THE FASTEST TROTTING TIME ON RECORD BEATEN ON SATURDAY BY "RARUS." Cleveland, July 29 The closing trots of the Cleveland club's Summer mooting, were most brilliant of tbom pi I. A large number of eager spec tators were in tbe park, and tbe grand stands were filled with ladies. Tho track was in excollont condition, although a little heavy in sorao places owing to the recent rain. Tho first race of tbe day was tbe i:i class, tor a purse of 1 1,500, dtvid. ed; $750 to first, $375 to second, 1225 to third, and f 150 to fourth ; mile boats, best 3 in 5, to harness. Steve Maxwell won tho raco in the nllb beat, Woliurd Z. seoend ; Js'olia third and Boncsotter fourth. Time, 2:24!, 2 20, 2:23, 2:24, 2:25i. The second race was the 2:20 class ; purse $2,00, divided ; $1,000 to tbe first, $500 to second, $300 to tbird and $200 to fourth. Tho raco was won by Adelaide in tho sixth heat Midnight second, Prospem tbird and Mary Queen fourth. Timo, 2:22, 2:22, 2:23j, 2:231, 2:24, 2:31. The closing went of tho mooting was tbe special speed purse ot $1,000, open to all trotters in harness, milo beats ; it only ono borso enters or Btarts, $1,000 to bo paid, if tho throe first heats aro trotted to average 2:18 or bettor; $500 additional, ii 2:141 is beaten in any such boats. John nplan's bay gelding, Karus, the monarch ot the turf, sired bv Conklin's Abdullah, started for the purse, Urcnt eastern and Lulu having been drawn. thore was no wind and tbe track bad bocome fast. A running horse to sul ky was started with bim, but ho was unable to live the pace. The quarter was trotted in 331 seconds, the half in 1:001, the tbreo quarters in $1:40, and the mile in 2:141. The crowd cheered Rurus lustily wbon bo return ed to the stand, 1 be track was scrap ed for tbe second trial. It was seven o'clock when Kuril o roceived the word. A horse under saddle started with him, but gave out before reaching tho tbird quarter. Tho marshal of tho track thon galloped up the stretch and came home with him. The quarter was done in 331 seconds, tba hnlf in 1:071, tho threo quartern in 1:41) and tbe mile in 2:15. The shades of night were oom ing on when tho third trial was mado. A horse ran with Rarus to the boad of the first turn and then went back and waited to come down the home strutch with him. Rarus went to tho quartor pole in JJ seconds, to tbe bait in 1:07 and exclamations were heard that ho would fail. He was at the third quar ter in 1:40 and tho hopes of his friends rovived. iio camo like a shadow down tho borne stretch and passed under the wire in 2:ii. it was a great periorm anco, and Splan was tbe horo of tho moment. 1 resident huwards called bim to tho judges' stand and presented Dim, as coming trom a lad v. a band' some basket ot flowers for driving itarua tne three fastest boats in the world. The meeting bore was a groat success. WA PARTIES OF TRAMPS. In some portions ot tho West, es pecially in tbe ploasant State of Iowa, thore is just now an evil that may ex tend eastward and pay us a visit, and we should be prepared for it. Tho tramps aro auureiratiniz into small bands of fifty to a hundred and terror izing tbe communities through which they pass. Until lost vear tiiev used to move in small squads of two or throe, begging with piteous whine. and stealing when the chance offered. In moving thus they were within tho control of tho County Constables but now thoy come in bands that defy tho law ; they tako possession of railroad trains and ride whoro they pleaso; tboy go to the farm-houses and help themselves to what they want and il it be denied them tho farmer is in dan ger of having his barn burnod. Tbev scornfully refuse whon work is offered tbom. . borne of thom boost of not hav ing done a stroko of work for years. It is not easy to see bow this new and grievous stage of the tramp nuis anco is to bo mot. Something must be done to strengthen the arm of the law. The formation of vigilance committees among tho (armors and the rigorous onforcomont of the vagrant act seems the most practicable. Men going along in squads, having do visiblo means of support, and refusing to work whon it is oflurcd thom, should bo taken up and placed in tho House of Correction and made to work. A certain discre tion and caro would be needed to keep from oppressing honest poverty in soarob of work. But there ought to be no great difficulty in distinguishing botween a laborer in misfortuno and a lazy, villainous tramp: the one should rocoive assistnnco, and other punish ment. Wo do not think that any ad ditional legislation l's required, but there is needed a more vigorous en forcement of tho laws wo have. It was last vear, during the labor riots. that the tramps learned tho advantage oi moving in largo bodies, t hey tout- ed the delight of defying and over throwing for the wbilo tbe laws of the country. Thoy havo bognn this year to put into practice the lesson loaruod thon and the fact that thoy bavo com bined to defy tho law makes it noedful that society shall combine to crush tbom. Dr. Carver, the wonderful rifle man, who shoots 5,500 glass balls in five hundred minutes, might be profit ably turned looso in Iowa with instruc tions to practice on the eye-balls of tramps. ORIQIX OF SOME POPULAll. SA YIJXGS. . Almost every ono has on hand a store of trite apposite sentences, using them dally, but having no knowledge of their authorship ; and aa mon are apt to be curious conoorning the habits and laws that they follow or are governed hy, tracing their origin back into tho dimntMsor long-slumbering centuries, so they are often possessed with a de sire to know who first framed these words into the sentences so familiar to them. As thoy have aot all the time to devote to such a labor, tho following have been strung together by one whose nature leads him to ramble among books for his soul's best amuse mont. tt was Thorn os a Kempla who In the fifteonth century gave us "Man pro poses, but tiod disposes" ; and equally well-known saying, "Of two evils the less is to be chosen," the original of "Of two evils choose the least. Thomas Tusser, a writer of the sixtoenth cen tury, gave, "Better late than nover," and the key for four other common phrases In "For Christmas comes but onco a year," "It's an ill wind that turns cone to good," "The stone that is rolling can gather no moss," "Tiook ere thou leap, see ere thon go." It was Francis Rabelais, a French wit ot tho same century, who said that by "Robbing Potor he paid Paul," and told that when "The dovil was siek, tbo duvil a monk would be ; I Tbe dovil was well, tbe dovil a monk was lio. I It was also in the sixtuenth century that Sir Kdward Coko, a celebrated Knglish lawyer, said "For a man's houso is bis castle," and Lord Brooke sung, "And out ol mind as soon as out ol sight. It was ihristopbcr Alar lowo, tho forerunner of Shakespeare, and father ot the grand old Knglish dramma, who Bang to tbe ladies, "Love me little, love mo long," and told of "Infinite riches in a littlo room. We owe to the prolific genius of Shakespeare, "this Is tbo short and long ot it," "The word mine oystora," "Comparisons fcro odiods," "As merrv as tbo day is long," "A Daniel come to itwl.ttno.. I. la A m,iu r..ll.. ll.-l knows bis own child, "And thereby hangs a talo, "Ho needs must go that the dovil drives," "Why this it very midsummer madness," "The smallest worm will turn when trodden on,' 'Smooth runs tho water whore tbo biook is doep," "So wiso so young thoy my do no'er live long," "Tbe weakest goes to tba wall," "Wo have soon bolter days," "This was tho roost unkindust cut of all," "Stand not upon tho order of your going," "A deed without a namo," "Frailty, thy name is woman," "l am a man more sinned against than sinning, "ihoy laugh that win, and a thousand more as good, though not as well known. Francis Bacon, tho "wisest, greatest. meanest, of mankind," said "Rnowl- odgo is powor," and Beaumont and rletcbor pronounced that "What a one man's poison, siunor is another's meat or drink." Milton tells of a "Moping melancholy and moonstruck madness," and also of "A wilderness of sweets," "All boll broke loose,' and "Tbe para dise ot fools." Samuel Butler.authorof "Hudibras," dubbed a religious creed thus: "Twos Presbyterian true blue." Drydcn says, "None but tho bravo deserve the fair," and "Swoet isnlcasuro aflor pain." lie also warns thus : "Bowaro tbe fury of a patient man, "All delays are dang erous in war," and thinks that "Mon are but children of a larger growth." The Karl of Roscommon has it that one must "Choose an author as you choose a friend," and sny that "The multitudo are always in tho wronc." John Bunyan wisely reminds us that "llo that is down needs fear no lull, and 1 nomas Southorne "That pity s akin to love." It was crar.y Nathaniel Leo who averred that "When (i rooks joined Greeks then was tho lug of war." Matthow Prior thought " Tho end must justify the moans;" and Doan Swia said " Bread ia the staff of life. Goorgo Farquhar callod " Necessity is tho mother ot invention ; " Kdward Young, a vory sombre fellow, thought that " Death loves a shining mark ; he also said " Man wants but littlo bore below, nor wants that littlo long," and that " A tool at forty is a fool indeed ; he also told of "Tired Nature's sweet restorer, balmy slocp.i' Pono says " lo err is buman, to lorgive divine ; and Thompson tells of " Cruol as death, and hungry as tho grave." It was John Gay who said " While there's life, thore's hope," and sang of " Ovor tho hills and fur away." Lawrence Sterne thought that " God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb," and Benjamin Franklin that " God helps them who helps themselves." Cowper said that variety's tho vory spice of life." Thos. Campbell that "'lis distance lends en chantment to tbe viow ; " ho also said " And coming events cast their shad ows botore." Daniol W ebstor told of a sea of npturned faces," and Washington Irving who thought our idol was "Tbe mighty dollar." Byron says war pre sents " Battle s magnincently stern array ;" and Keats that " A thing of boauty is a joy lorovor ; and last, it was itisbop Korkeloy, as r.nglnh pre late, who, in tbo seventeenth century. said " Westward the oourse of Kmpire takos its way." DEATH OF A BALLOONIST. Over two thousand people bad col lected near tho railroad station at I'.lm wood, III., on a rocunt Saturday even ing to witness a balloon ascension by L. 1 1. Atkinson, about sundown, lho balloon, inflated with hot air, being cut loose, the aeronaut holding on to tbe trapeze with ono hand, waved an adieu to the penplo, saying as he wont tip: It is the poorest ascension 1 ever mado, but I'll do the best I can." As it arose Atkinson swung his feet ovor the bar, and, hooking on by tbe knoo joint, hung with bis head down, lie next hooked his feet at the junction of the rope, where it was laatonod to the bar, suspending himself at full length, Tbo balloon by this timo has ascended in tbe quiet evening air between two and three bundred teet. Atkinson, then righting himself, suspended himself from tho bar by ono arm, whon sud denly, as if noralizod, he let go his hold and fell, still holding up bit arms. The horror which seized the spectators at this momont was pitiful to see. Women screamed and fainted, Children shriek ce), and mon hid their facos to shut out tbe awlul speetaclo. the unlorlunalo man fell on bis back with a shocking thud. Whon he was taken up be was stone doad. Tbo mangled corpse was then carried to the Loots House to await the order of his widowed moth er, who resides in Burlington, Iowa. Atkinson waa in tho employ ot J. A. rvhellony, one ol the well-known Whotlony brothers, acrobats. Ho bad been making ascents daily since lust April, along the narrow gauge railroad from Ht Louis to Cairo, and back to l'oona and Minonk, and the littlo com pany of fivo was now on its way to Galosbnrg. The noronaul'sbrother-in-law, W. W. Dodd, took the body to llurlington tor burial. Atkinson took the place of Donaldson under Bnrnum's management when that perlormor dis appeared. Some three years ago, in making an ascent trom Calhoun, Ky., the balloon caught firo, and Atkinson tell a distanco of one thousand foot, striking the branch of a tree, which broke the fall. Jle escaped with a few fractures, and went into tbe businoss again. Ho was prompt and active, and the only way to acoount tor the last mishap Is that be was unnerved by the too free use of liquor. Goi.drmitu'b OPINION. The modest virgin, the prudent wite, or the care ful matron, are much more serviceable in lite than peiticoated philosophers, blustering heroines or virago queens. She who makes her husband and her children happy, who reclaims the one Irom vice and trains the other to vir tue. Is a much greater character than ladies described in romanco, whose sole occupation is to murder mankind with shafts from their quiver or their eyes. .. REPUBLICAN, THE UNSHOD HORSE. An oxchange dilates in this way up on borso shoeing : Bocauso horses go unshod in some parts of Brazil, Aus tralia, India and Cbinoso Tartary, and appear to be none tho worse for it, cer tain lute writers on horse topics have started the inquiry whether ull horse shooing is not a mistuko, and whether, after throe or four generations of indu ration, horse's feot would not adapt tnomsoivos to tuo nard and macadam ized roads ovor which thoy are com pelled to travel in most civilized coun tries so that iron shoos should thereaf ter be unnocessary. Tbo matter bos led lo somo discussion, and inquiry has naturally turned backward to seo at what remote timo tbe luBbion ot horse shoeing was introduced. Tho most ancient known specimon of an iron shoe, fastened with nails, was discover ed in tbo fomb of Childoric, King of lho Pranks. 1 bo use ol iron shoes by lho northern barbarians of Kurope is accounted lor Dy tuo reason that the born of the hoof is infirm in cold and damp countries and tbe use of iron was a necessity. Without this aid they would not have been able to uccomplish those harassing migrations with which thoy carried tho people of Southern Kuropo. A Muhommedan logened des cribes the horso of tho uneto ot tho Prophet as shod with iron. A lute writer in discussing tho mailer says that ia highly improhablo that an in vention which by degrees has been received into such general favor was not originally a blessing. Wbero it is otberwiso it has become a curso, just as our own boots and shoes have bo come a curse, either from too great a regard for appearances or from the ig norance, clumsiness or brutality of the workmen by whom either ourselves or our horses are shod. The invention of horso-sliocing completed tin conquest ol the horse. In shoeing, it Is not the foot only that bus to be considered ; it is tho set of the limb, the linos, wheth er regular or faulty ; tho nnturo of tho exorciso imposed upon a colt, and the condition ot tho ground on which bo will gallop, l be loot must havo a sul ficiont protection without overloading il with metal, and, wbilo keeping tho shape intact, make allowance for tho elasticity ot the hoof, for tho stretching of the hoels in tbo course of a strong gallop, etc. jsoneol Iheso consiueiO' lions can bo solely neglected ; it may. tboreloro bo readily imagined bow much experience observation, ability and tact a good lamer must possess, No sound reasons can bo given for abandoning horse shoos. Their use is demonstrably recommended by the practice of centuries among people who understood how to got the bestservieo out of horseflesh. What is wanted is the careful study and skill which shall adapt tbe horse's shoo to tho road he has to travel and tho climate he lives in. If anything can be doviscd for the promotion ot the comfort ot tho horso, if any shoo can be invented, or any now way of fastening a aboo which shall add to the ease of travel tor tho luithful quadruped, thai is the path for philanthropy. To take off the horse's shoes and drivo him unshod ovor tho loose gravel of the country or the fix ed cobblestones of tbe city would be a cruelty which hardly admits ol oxperi mont. A Fast Ahe. Tho telegraph, which is bringing reports of so many mar riages recently, has failed to chroniclo a wedding that took place on tho cars in lioga county a tow days ago. lho bride and groom of this occasion mot for tho first timo as the train loft EI mira, and by the time it had got into Pennsylvania territory both wore in a terrible slato ol anxiety to nnd a cler gyman to bind them together. liut love, which laughs at locksmiths and other things, went to work to overcome tho difliculty, and found a proaehor on tbe train, bocauso tho fact ia that it isn't half as difficult for a young wo man to find a preacher as it is to find a husband. Tho train was stopped, lho possongers gathorod around and acted as bridesmaids and groomsmen, the oonductor hold the minister s bat and the ceremony was performed with surprisingly good elfuct, tbe whole crowd lining up their voices in the Doxoiogy at the concision, lho train was thon permitted to go on. If this young woman finds, upon further ac quaintance with her now husband, that ho has a wife or two in other sections of tho country, she tan go home to her ma and make a now start ; if, on the other hand, tho precipitate bridogroom finds the wilo is not all that sho had pictured horself can dovoto his leisure moments to contemplating his head long stupidity. A Good Horse. Wind, says an old horseman, is the grand secret of fast horses, Good lungs will cover a multi tudo of faults, wbilo, on tho othor hand, fiorfeotion of shape and form aro use ess, whon the wind is out. Tboohcst, therefore, in all cases, should be largo and capacious. It may vary somowhut In shapo, according to the service to which tho horse is to bo put. If ho is apt to be kept for slow and heavy drawing, tbo chest may bo nearly cir cular in form, because this sbupo is ono ol strength and bulk to receive and bear up aguinst tho pressure ot the collar, while at the same timo sufficient room is secured for that expansion ot thb lungs caused hy slow, regular work. But if tho chest is circular, let it bo at lho aarao timo deep, or olso tho lungs may bo crumped. A horse with a shallow chest is worthless for any purpose. The rulo then is : For a draught horse, a circular, but doep chest ; but as you pass through tbe diflercnt degrees of horses up to tho racer and trotlor, the chest will in crease in depth, compared to Its round ness, until, tor tho highest rate of speed you must tnko a cbost as deep at a grey-hound's, and at the sumo tune not lacking in strength. Roi.D. Hons called at the police office recently, and said that be was in trouble. "A fine young lellow, ahust so nice as anybody, came up to me on the street and saya : 'ilow you doos 7 Long timo since 1 saw you in Shasta gounly.' 1 soya, 'I nover vas in Shas ta gounty.' 'Why, I dinks 1 soo you doro.' I says, 'No, 1 lives near An burnt1 lie goes away, and blmeby 1 meets a chap and ho saya : 'How you vas since I left you at Auburn ?' Then we has a talk and some drinks, nnd 1 lend him ein hundred dollars until tbe pank opons, and I dnnd see him tome more. Vat you dinks T A Scotchman, being examined by his minister, was asked, "What kind of a man wit Adam?" "Oh, Jlst like ither lolk." Tho minister insisted on having a more special description of the first man, and pressed fur more ex planation. " eel," said the catoebn men, "he was jist liko Joe Simpson, the horse cronpor." "How to ?" asked the minister, "Well, nauhody got Any thing by him, and many lost.' THE COMMUNIST LEADER. The Philadelphia Record says of him Kearney, tbe California Communist, if bo Is a communist, appears to be a man ot considerable natural ability and forco of character. As a sailor ho worked his way up from a position be fore tlo most to tho post of mate of a clipper ship at the early ago ot four teen, and thence to tho captaincy ol one of tbo largest sailing vessels then afloat at tho ago of nineteen. When ho quit tbe soa be went into tbe dray- ing business at bun i runcisco, in which bo is said to havj prospered. It is much to his credit that ho has always stipportod bis widowod mother, r.vi dently he is a man of pluck and nerve and honest impulsoa, though the strength ol tho latter has impelled him Doyond lho Donds ol propriety in poli tics, llo is very oxiravugant and in tcmpcrnto in his denunciation of those whom ho opposos, particularly those wnonaveaccumulated wealth. "Uhin- cso cheap labor" is another especial ob ject of bis rough invective, and in as sailing turn in Caldornia ho won great applauso, of oourso. In Massachu setts, however, where Kearney will soon be addressing tbo workingmon, he will not havo tho benefit ot so bit tor a prejudice against Chinamon and will havo to content himself with do nouncing the capitalists, mill-owners, bankers and monopolists. Great pre parations aro being mado lor him in Boston. A petition is now in circula tion in that city to secure Fanouil Hall for a mass mooting to bo held soon. This hall was once, shut against tbe great Webster, but the chances are that it will bo opened for Koarnoy, who comes to help Butler, a much "smart er" man than Webster ever wos or ever dosired to bo. Butler will proba bly coach Kearney and induce him to omit his usual oaths and imprecations, which would not bo grateful to Boston ears, n hethcr this Pacific atritator ill be ablo to moke any telling points without profanity remains to bo scon. It is to bo feared that tho Knglish lan guage will provo too weak lor bim without tho sulphurous adjectives he is accustomed to employ. But. with his strong feelings and rongh forco of mind, backed by his pluck, bo may provo ablo to mako speeches both pow erful and decent. Evidently the peo plo ol tho "Huh" aro very anxious to hear him, and wo hope he will not dis gust thom by interlarding his orations with wicked words and uLmoono allu sions. For Butler's soko, as well as his own, Kearney should take high moral ground in Massachusetts. Shingle Your Own House. Sceno bar-room ; time midnight. Wif : "1 wish that man would go Homo, u bos got ouo to go to. Landlord: 'Silence, he'll call for something directly; he's taking tho shingles on his own bouse, and putting tbem on ours.',' By this time James began to come w mo iiuii. nviioun, oumiueu uillisi'll as if ho had j'ist awoke, and said :" I believe 1 will go. "Don't be in a burry. James," said tbe landlord. .. . "Oh, yes, 1 must go," said James, as ho Started. Alter an absenco of somo timo the landlord mot nnd accosted him with "Hello, Jim, why ain't you !ecn down to seo us 7 "Why, I had taken so many shin gles off my own house that it began to leak, so I thought it time to stop mo leak ; and so l have done it, said James. . , How to do it. He wanted her but she would not give hor conaont uulil bo had consulted hor parents. So ho went into lho room whoro thoy wore and modestly stated tho case : "And you really think you love her enough lo marry her I said the lather, alter bo had bmsbed. "Oh, yos sir," said tbo youth, in fer vent eagerness, "I love hor with all my soul. I love her hotter than I do life. She is my guiding star, the wor shipped object of my thought, every hopo, every aspiration." lie stood there with clasped hands, his foco ra diant with the strength ot his devotion. Thore was a moment of pause, and then tbe mother soltly asked : "What do you think of that, old man ?" "That sounds liko businoss, old wom an," repliod tho Batisfiod father. And so it was arranged that the daughter should accept her suitor. Tue TJi'a and Downs op Lipe. Gos siping about tho ups and downs of the gambler's profession, a correspondent says : Alter all the wealth that or risscy baa at different times possossed, should hia oroditors foreclose the mort gages on his property in Saratoga, it is uouotiui n no would nave iu,uuu. lint hpencor, his partner, is neb ; and ho'll nover dio poor if bis reputation among icllow-gamblcrs as a saving, avaricious man is founded oo fuut. These gnmbrors are often very careful about raising their families. . One of them educated his children, and they wore ignorant ol their parent s profes sion, and bis bcautilul and refined daughter, as period a lady as evor breathed, married Charles VaBUbiirn, our Minister to Paraguay, brother ol I'.lihn, ox-Miuistor to r ranee, bo did M. Blanc's daughter, dowered with the winnings of Monaco and Baden-Baden, marry a Russian Duko. . . am a , , .... How Whisky Pays. Somo years ago wo had in our employ a man, who. several limes a day, ran out of the office to buy a drink of whisky. Ev ery time ho wont out the Cashior was instructed to drop ton cents into a drawer to our credit. At the end ot soventoen months tho man who had gone out so ollcn bod drunk himsoll out of a good situation ; and tbe drawer whon opened was tound to contain lour hundred and nine dollars, which we loaned to a young mechanic at 7 per cent, interest. . He used it to pur chase a set ot tinner's tools. On tbo 15tb of Febrtiory, 1H7U, ho relumed it Ull interest, saying in Ins letter that he has now a wite, two children, and proporty worth $5,000. Tbe other fellow ia a dead-beat and adrift hunt ing food. Pomeroy'i Democrat. Sho Now, Charles, dear, do he tin- cere and tell tho truth Inronoe In your I ilo. Don t yon love baby Just littlo bit? Ho Well, Mary, I can't say ex actly that I love tho littlo beggar, but I've a tort of sneaking respect loi him tor hit fathor't sako. Tho statue of Charles Sumner, made by Thomas Ball, on the ordor of tbe Sumnor Memorial Committee, has been completed, and will probably roach lioston somo time this month. The oranberrv crop In Camden and llurlington counties, N. J., Is at pres ent very promising, and, it is thought, will yield qnito amindantly. EDUCATIONAL. BY M. L. McUUOWN. As a matter of interest to many of our teachers who are wen acquainted with the following persons, we tako tbe liberty of making reference to their whereabouts. G. Walter Dale, who taught at Lumber City during tho winters ol 74 and 70, and who con ducted tho River Sido Select School for ono term, in Bell township, writes us that he is about opening a school in Cincinnati, Ohio, to be known as tbo "American School of Vocal Art." Mr. Dale graduated at tho National School of Oratory, in Philadelphia, the Spring oi iBio, and to day, as an elocutionist, he Btands in tho first rank. Prof. G. W. Innis, for a numbor of yours Principal of tho Now Washing ton Academy, and afterwards teacher oi tho llign School in that place, now holds a high position as teacher in Colorado. Miss Julia E. Peters, (as she was known to us) who still lives in the memory of those who know hor as a faithful and devoted teacher, and who was Sooretary of our Institute in the wintor ot li4, keeps a school "vastly different than that of yore," at Klko, Nevada. About two years ago she changed the Miss to Mrs., and since that time the Miss Poters that we knew has been known as Mrs. Light ner. In a letter to a friend, not long since, she made a careful inquiry about our schools and teachers. Mr. John Miller, of Lawrence, writoe us that be is teaching in the south western part of Texas, and speaks in high terms of his school and the educa tional rank In the "Lone Star" State. il. L. Gulich ia among the lead ing candidates for the principalship of tne scnoois oi urnck, Kay county, Missouri. W. 11. Pridouux, fot many years a tern her of this county, is stationed at iviicox, in r-ik county. Mr. G. R. Mokel, who lauirht at New Millport last wintor, ia breaking up prairie in the southern part of Kansas. Miss Mary Long, ot Bloomington, spent her summor vacation visiting bor friends In Ohio and Kansas. Sho will make ono of our numbor tbe com ing winter wo aro told. A. Ross Read, of this borough, has been chosen tenchor of tho West Clear field school for the coming torm. The people of that district hove tho benefit of eight months school tbo present year. Tho Summor torm is being taiigni uy ji iss noia Jicuovern. Tbo Superintendent last wcok met the teachers of the lower end of the county in an official capacity, closing tho week's work at Shawsvillo, on Sat urday evening. Ibis week tho north ern and western portions of the conn ty will be visited, closing the week'a labors at .Lutbersburg, on t riday. The following hints on tbo duties of teachers we clip Irom the Normal Teacher, a livo educational magazino published at Danville, Indiana. It con tains a good lesson for those who think bocauso their wages are low thoy snonia oo cneap work : Map out in your own minds a pro gramme for each day's work. You will find it invaluable to you. Mako yourself thoroughly familiar with the topics and lessons to be pre sented and studiod evory day, so that the mind may accommodate itself to the chatigo of exorcisos, and that vou may be able to hoar a losson without having your nose tied to tbe text-book. Remember that there aro five days in a week, and four weeks in a month, and that it is impossible to do in ono month what, in tbe nature ot things, will require throe. Cultivate the habit of finishing a task wituin a presorihed time, and re quire the same of your pupils. Nover attempt to patch a recita tion. We fear that tho lato, and almost univorsal reduction of toachors' waees in our country schools will greatly lessen the teacher's interest in bis work, as a consequence, many of our schools will suffer lor such unwise leg islation. Again, tho trennont chang ing of country teachers is to bo great ly deplored, vt bon a teacher hires out for five or six months, he is almost sure that be will not teach thore again. i nese lacta stare bim in tbe lace : "1 am not gotting what I earn, and I will probably not teach horo again, so I don't care." Somo one has said, we don't remem ber who, that "no teacher ought to enter a school to toach that school, un less ho feels that horo is my work for tho next ten years." We shall put it much stronger than this: No teacher ho should take charge ot a school unless feels that "horo is my work, not mere ly for ten years, not alone for lile, but that 1 am doing work for eternity; nnd that for every recitation slighted, for ovory momont wasted, and for every opportunity of instructing and guiding aright the hearts and minds ot those under my care, unimproved, God will hold me lo strict account." lcacher, unless you can work your self up to this spirit of thought, you ought not to go into tho school room. in inaaing your contract wun 01 reotort or trustees, nioko the very best bargain you can, and if you hire out at ion dollars a month, do just as good work as inoiigh you were command ing a cool hundred. Remember that when you aro cneaaod lo teach a school, your Influence, knowledge. moral and intellectual culture, and everything that you can give as a teacher, aro due your patrons and DU- ils. Teach as faithfully, energetical ) and honestly for small waees at for largo. Work not on the principle of so-caiied political economy, but on tbo principles of eternal justice and right. Teacher, do you love your profes sion? Is It fascinating? Do you feel that you are by nature adapted to it? ii so do not let any cause drive von from it The Master bas peculiarly fitted you for the work which be in tended yon to poiform. These God given powers aro not possossod by every one. If you have them thoy were given you for nse, and you should use thom. . What matters it if you do work bard? What matters it if, in dollars and ConlS. VOU do not crnt naa fn. all your labor f Remember that "it ia not all of life to live, nor all of death to lie." Remember that it will be left lor eternity to lift tho veil and reveal to you what you have been enabled to accomplish. Remember that It will afford swcolor happiness in the hour of death to have trained one immortal mind aright than to have ruled an em pire, to have connnered millions, or enslaved the world. Normal Teacker. Those studies should be regarded as primary, that teach young persons to know what they are seeing, and to see wbat they otherwise would fail to see. . . macHt. ' .' - :..i.,.ti!!r,.Af'nt P"!K yV ,:.,. A Tory UnBRtinfactory Sort of Broatl The roll ol'bme. Tbe only miu that laat looger thn you want them are lawsuit. When la a jealous husband like oat ? W hen "be smells a rat." Entjnglnp; photographer "Just look a little pleased, Miss I Think of 'Im 1" What kind of juries are roost dan gerous to our liberties? Why, per. juries, At table, be as biting of your food aa vnn nleAHA. hut Hon t hA IhIIa. In your remarks. - Little gills believe In a man in the moon young ladies believe In a man in tbe honey moon. The man who made an impression on tbe heart of a coquette has become a skilltul Btono-cuttor. "Have you heard my last song V asked a music writor of a gruff critic. "1 hope so," was tho reply. A widow refusod an offer of marriage bocauso sbe didn't know what to do with hor first wedding ring. A good matrimonial firm is said to bo ono that conaista of three-quraters wifo and one-quarter husband. "Bo jaboral" says Pat, who was born on the last day of the yoar, "bad I delayed a bit, where would I been ?" An auctioneer once advertised a lot ot chairs which, be said, "bad boon used by school children without backs." Reflection is flower of the mind, giving out a wholesome fragrance ; bnt reverio is tbe samo flower, when rank, and running to seed. A voice comes trom Washington Territory, saying '-Send as wives I" And a thousand unhappy Benedicts respond "Take ours !" Silas Card was marriod the othor day, and on bis wedding noticos were tne words; "-ouardB." iSuthedosnt know wbat might happen. The married ladies of a Western city have formed a "Como-bome husband CVi6." It ia about four feet long, and has a bruab on tbe end of it. An obituary notice in a Western pa per contained the touching intelligence that the deceased "bad accumulated a little money and ten children." A Connecticut man has christened his daughter Glycerine. He Bays It will bo easy to prefix "Nitro" if her temper resembles her mother's. An impertinent lellow wants toknow if you ever sat down to tea w bore skim med milk was on the table without be ing asked, "Do you take cream ?" A young lady who had lost, or mis laid, her beau, was advised to "hang np ner nuuie. one said tue advice did great violence to ber heart-strings. A young lady told an admirer the other night that be was like her opera glass, "because," said she, "1 can draw you out, see through you, and abut you up." "Sam, why don't you talk to your master and leu mm to lay up treasures in Heaven ?" "What's de use of him laying up treasures up dar? He nov er seo um again." "You bachelors ought to be taxed," said a lady to a resolute ovador of the noose matrimonial. "1 agree with you perfectly, ma'am," was the reply, "bachelorism ie certainly a luxury." Mrs. Partington says she did not marry ber second husband because she loved the male sex ; but just because ho was the samj size of ber first hus band, and could wear out bis old clothes. An Idaho invalid was ordored by a physician to take three ounces ot bran dy a day, and knowing that sixteen drachms make an ounce, has patiently been taking lorly-eight drinks a day over since. "No one would take yon tor what you are," said an old-fashioned gentle man a day or two ago to a would-be-dandy, who bad more hair than brains. "Why?" asked Joe. "Because they can't see your ears." Farms in Arkansas sell at from three to five cents an acre. An Arkansas pa per tays that dirt is such a drug in that State, that if a purchaser does not look out, they'll smuggle forty or fifty acres on him in making out the doed. We find the following item in an Ill inois paper: "Mr , who has been in retirement for a few weeks after marrying and hurrying threo sistors, came up amilingto tbe altar again yester day, having begun on a new family." A raptured writor Inquires, "What ia there under heaven more humaniz ing, or if we may nse the term, more angclizing, than a fine black eye in a lovely woman ?" Two black eyes is tho only answer thought ot at present. A popular poet was much attached to a young lady who was born a day before him, and who did not return hia passion. "Yours is a hard rase," said lnend. It is indeed." said the poet. "for I came in the world a day after tho fair." Josh Billings writes that "Philoso phers all agree that tbe milk is put in to the kokernut, and the hole is neatly plugged up ; but who tho feller id who duz it, the philosophers are honest enough, for a wondor, to admit they can't toll us." "How old Is your mamma f" asked a lover smitten old bachelor ot tho dnughtorof tho widow who had en chanted him. "I don't know sir : her ago varies from about 43 to 45," was the artloss reply. The bachelor was disenchanted. A cockney tourist met a Scotch lassie going barefooted towards Glasgow. "Lassie," said ho, "1 should like to know if all the people In those parts go barefoot ?" "Part of tbom do, and the rest mind thoirowi, business," was the rather settling reply. Two littlo girls were lately prattling togothor and one of thom said : "We keep four sorvants, havo got six borses, and lots of carriages ; now wbat have you got?" With quits as much pride the other answored, "We've got a shrunk under our barn." A scholastic professor, in explaining to a class of young ladies tbe theory according to which the body ia entire ly renewed every seven years, said, "Thus, Miss B., in seven years yon will no longer bs Miss B." "I really bops I shan't," demurely rospondod tbe girl, modestly casting down bor eyes. A clergyman, observing a poor man by the road breaking atones, and kneel ing to got at bis work better, made the remark, "Ah John, 1 with 1 could break the stony hearts of my hearers as easily as yon are breaking those stones." "Perhaps, master, you do not work on your knees," waa tne reply. There Is a good story told ol a -French auditor of accounts, who bo lides being a groat practical joker all his lile, played a trick after he had lost the power ot enjoying it. He left four large candles to be eanrred at bis funeral, and they had not been burnim fiftocn minutes before tbey went off aa uroworss. "What is your consolation In III and in death?" asked a clergyman of young miss, in a Bible clan that he was catechising. The yonng lady blushed, and hesitated. "Will yo not tell me?" urged -the clergyman. "I don't want to toll hia name," said the ingenious girl ; "but I've no objection to tell yon where he lives." ,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers