TUB AMERICAS FOLANiV
SPEECH OF HON. C. RrBUCKALEW,
l, Till I'.B. SnATK, hi. II, IH07.
The f-ensle hiring nnirr eensideration the bill
lo Tulao'liic u-n swvervign Stalss of Ui t'nioa
Mr. lii'CKALKW said :
Mr. President, my vote hns been
solicited lor the present amendment
by gentlemen in whoeo judgments 1
have very much confidence ; and in
one respect the adoption of the amend
ment would bo quite propor, perhaps
beneficial. In bo lUr as it places a
limit upon this enormous, novel, end
portentious military power tho bill
intends to cstublish, it mny bo vindica
ted by sound reasoning and considera
tions of public policy. Any limitation
whatever will be better than the ub
sence of all limitations in the proposi
tion us introduced before us.
But, sir, there, ure two reasons
which will induce, me to vote against
(bis amendment. In tho first place,
1 am opposed to the proposition which
it contains upon a consideration of the
merits of the proposition itself. 1 am
averse, from thorough conviction, to
the introduction of any State into this
Union, or to her rehabilitation with
all her former political powers, upon
the condition that sho shull muku suf
frage within her limits universal and
unlimited among the mule inhabitants
over twenty-one years of age. 1 need
not go over tho argument upon that
point. I Lave stated it upon a former
occasion.
In tho next place, I know perfectly
well that a vote for this amendment,
although given under circumstances
which do not commit mo to the prop
osition as a final one, will be misun
derstood and perverted. It will be
said throughout tli6 country of each
of those who stand in tho position ir.
which I Bland, that we have departed
to some extent at least from that po
sition which we have hitherto main
tained; and maintained against all tho
influences of the time, ugainst tho
pressure of circumstances which have
swept many from oursides and car
ried tbem into tho large and swollen
camp of the majority. Sir, I for one
am ambitious of being known as one
among that number of mon who have
kept their faith ; who bavo followed
their convictions : who huve obeyed
the dictation of duty in tho worst of
times; who did not bond when the
etorra beat hardest and strongest
against them, but kept their honor
unsullied, their faith intact, their self
renpect unbroken and entire.
I shall not vote to degrade suffrage
I shall not vote to pollute and corrupt
tho foundations of political power in
this country, either in my own Stute
or in any other. 1 snail resist, it, cv
crywbere and at all times. If over
borne, if contrary and opposing opin
ions prevail 1 shall simply submit to
the necessity which 1 cannot resist,
leaving to just men and to future times
the vindication of my conduct.
The consideration of this amend
ment does not involve debato upon
the bill itself; it is quite distinct from
it, or at least it may bo considered
distinctly. I am of opinion that the
debates of the Senate would be greutly
improved if that course were taken
ordinarily or uniformly which has
been suggested in the discussion of
this bill, to wit, that when an amend
ment is pending debato shall bo con
fined to it according to the strict rules
of order, and that debate upon tne
principal proposition upon the original
bill itself shall stand over and be de
ferred until the amendments are dis
posed of. But, sir, my experience in
the Senate has instructed mo. I have
vpon several occasions delayed speak
ing upon a measure until amendments
offered to it should be disposed of, nnd
found myself at tho end of a debate
attempting to speak to an exhausted
and impatient Senate and when my
own freshness of feeling and physical
energy bad departed.
During this week those of us who
nro not endowed by nature with vig-
orous physical constitutions have been
subjected to a severe strain by con-
etant sessions day and night, besides
other duties Tery numerous, unrrass-
ing, and exhaustive o'ltsido of the
Chamber. And now. sir. nearly nt
tho end of the week, at an additional
night session ordered with special
reference to this measure, wo aro call
ed upon to consider it and to consider
it finally. e are tout mat u u ue
within the power of thoso vho give
direction to tho action of tno Senate
to force a final vote upon the bill to
night, that rote shall bo obtained, the
riving of it shall be coerced.
And when did this bill como to us ?
"Within about twenty-four hours, 1 be
lieve. I found myself nblo to give it
only a hurried reading before it was
called up for debato. Is it not a little
rcmarkablo that a bill in which tho
eociul and political condition of eight
or ten million American people is in
volved should bo driven through one
branch of Con gross under the previous
question, without opportunity for any
extended debato, and should then be
driven through tho Senate under tho
diBcinlino of an organization confined
to a portion only of the mombers of
our body, witn some iweniy-ioiir or
forty -eightbours only of consideration,
mid tho pressure of'.othcr duties that
orowd upon ns, and when our own
overtasked physical powers scarcely
cnablo us to give tho subject even that
attention which is necessary to vote
upon it intelligently, much less to ex
amine and discuss it properly T What
judgment will bo formed of us, who
aro charged with the legislative pow
ers of Ibis Government, by our coun
trymen and by tho men of other na
tions, who observe our proceedings,
when measures of this gravity, mug-
wncn iniiiBiiikB ui iuio J I h
llul"l
ritude. importance to million of pco
plo, interesting to our wholo popula
tion, are to bo acted npon in this man
nor, to bo determined under theso cir
cumstances, adverse to correct and
proper reflection, which I have de
crihedf Now, sir, what i this measure T I
shall be anxious in all that I say to be
brief nnd to speak only on points which
are material. Sir, this bill is prepared
and introduced to confer upon five
military officer of tho UnitcJ States
the power to fine, U imprison, and to
kill American citizen in one-lbird of
the torritory of tho United States
witbout any restraints or limitations
ssch as are written in the most solemn
manner in every fundamental law in
tho Unitwl States, both that of the
Fedorsl Covcrmr.enl and thos of all
CLEARFIELD MlREPUBLICm
GEO. B. GOODLANDER, Proprietor. PRINCIPLES-NOT MEN. TERMS-$2 per annum, in Advance.
VOL. 38-WIIOLE NO. 2009. CLEARFIELD, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 7, 18G7. NEW SERIES-VOL. 7, NO. S3.
the States ; ay, and of evory Territory,
too, whither our hardy pioneers have
gono and established republican gov
ernments, fashioned and modeled af
ter tho examples of the States from
which they went. With no right of
triul by jury, no challenge? to tho tri
bunal which tries the accused, no com
pulsory process for witnesses, no right
of appeal, the victim stands del'enso
less before arbitrary power ; bo must
bow to its tnandulo and submit to its
decree. .Not a constitutional princi
ple, hitherto regarded sacred in this
country, is written down in this bill
or covered b3' its vague and genoral
phraseology, more indefinite, vnguc,
and indeterminate than thai of any
statute now nprw the rcnrl fliix
Government j ay, or of L)ngUnd,a bused
and traduced England, of whom we
complained because her Government
was arbitrary, and therefore took up
arms to throw off its jurisdiction and
vindicate American freedom.
The General of tho Army is to as
sign to tho command of each of tho
military uistricis createu uy this dim
"an oflicer of the Army not below the
rank of biigadier general," and to de
tail a sutliciiit forco to give dignity
and effect to the jurisdiction conicrred
upon him ; and there is conferred upon
euch district commander, in the third
section, power "to punish or cause to
he punished all disturbers ot tho pub
lic peace and criminals" of every de
scription and grado. He may in his
pleasure, by no rule of law, by no reg-
uiaiion oi Biniuiu, vy nu riuuiiiu
known to the Constitution or created
by Government, but according to his
own unregulated pleasure and will,
condescend to turn cases over to tho
courts
Or when in hit Judgment
his supreme and unchallenged judg
ment
It may be necessary Tor tht trial of offender, he
shall have power to nrftsnise military eommissions
or tribunals for that putpoee, anything in the con
stitution and laws of any or tne so-called confeder
ate States to the contrary notwithstanding.
And then the Supreme Court of tho
United Slates, which your fathers es
tablished as the supremo tribunal of
justice in this country, with appellate
powers from inferior tribunals, with
tho great power of tho writ of habeas
corpus in its hands to correct injustice
upon tho citizen, is to bo restrained
from meddling in any way whatever
with this new, unexampled, and abom
inable jurisdiction which tho bill es
tablishes. I am mistaken, sir; there
is an exception. The judges of your
Supremo Court mny have jurisdiction
in particular cases by a clause which
I propose to read. Neither the Su
premo Court nor any judgo of that
court or of tho district courts can
issue a writ of habeas corpus or look
into the legality of any proceedings in
which this military jurisdiction is con
cerned Tnless some commissioned officer
Some dignified licutonant of tho sec
ond degrco possibly
Vnless some commissioned offieer on duty in the
district wherein the person is detained shall in
dorse upon said petition a statement certifying,
upon honor, that he has knowledge or information
as to the cau-e and circumstances of the alkged
detention, and that he believes the same to be
wnmgful; and further, that ho believes that the
indorsed petition is preferred in good faith and in
furtherance of juptiou, and not to hinder or delay
the punishment of crime.
The wealthy criminal, for bis feoof
S50 or $100 or f 500, can get a lieuten
ant's certificate to his petition, and go
to the courts of the United Slates and.
bo heard under tho laws of tho Ur.ited
States, and have some little protection
from the Constitution of your fathers,
from that instrument under which
you are assembled, here, and which
you aro sworn to support. This is
tho manner in which judicial power
mny take hold of any case, no matter
how enormous, of outrage or of iniqui
ty, in one-third of tho United States,
under this bill.
The fifth section provides
Thai no sentence of any military eommis.ion or
tribunal hereby authorised, afh-ctnig the life or lib
erty et any person, shall be executed until it is ap
proved by die officer in command of the district.
There, sir, shameful as tho fact ap
pears, tho power over tho life of au
American citir.cn is confided to cither
ono of fivo military commanders, who
ore to bo selected, not by tho Commander-in-Chief
of the armies of tho
United Slates, as the Constitution re
quires, but by a general selected by
your bill ; and you might just as woll,
instead of having selected the General
of the Arm- for ibis purpose, have se
lected the hero of Big Bethel or any
other goneral, or even a civilian, if in
deed this fearful and unexampled
power of creating military rule resides
in Congress nt nil. Tho commanders
of theso departments havo tho power
of life and of death, mo power to im
prison at their pleasure, tho power to
tine, to confiscate property, and to
plunder or kill the citizens, and that
without redress. Why, sir, what aro
tho military commissions that aro au
thorized hero f Arc not tho members
selected by this olliccr in command
selected to do his bidding orgnnized of Government, is a spirited Chriatian
t xnnvir-i.. if Im dwtires conviction, i it v and of justice, which shall put bo-
k"" . -- ... .
and their proceedings subject 10 ws ninu ...
t!v. - .,. nr;uni,in anrsml llimlcus to works
approval 1 -nv, n , wt-u wunv i
death by them is to bo carried into ex-
ecution according to bis will, becuuse
this bill contemplate the capital exe
cution of ft citizen tried before these
irihimnls simnlv upon the approval of.
the oflicer commanding tho district.
Such, sir, is the bill introduced hero,
for the passage of which our votes aro
solicited, and to pass which wo are
drivon into tbo hours of the night,
hurriedly and unprepared, whilo some
expectant persons outido. perhaps,
look wilh impatieneo upon the delay
which is taking place, this unnecessary
deiay, this protraction of our proced.
inrf. this waste of time, this foolish
appealing to old records and to prin
ciples which wo have advanced far
beyond in our revolutionary career.
Yes, sir, a spirt of Impsticocs and in
tolerance surrounds us nnd finds voico
even upon this floor.
I will slitto objections to tho bill in
general terms nnd conclude. I am
not inclined to speak ut length, but 1
should tuke shame to myself if such a
bill as this could be passed or be under j
consideration hero without uttering
somo few sincere words in opposition
to its enactment. j
Sir, this bill, in llm first place, is au
open confession in tho face of tho
worfd that republican government is
a fuilure. It is an open and shameless
confession, made by us in the presence
of our own countrymen and in tho
presence of the world, that our repub
lican institutions are not as they worn
K1)riu .-a j ii-imi to iiiiuTut iuii-
ty or to future ronown 5 that their
period of lilo lias about closed, thul
we aro to bo added to tho list of re
publics of former times and of other
countries who run hurried, but some
of them not inglorious careers, to end
in what this bill suggests, in tho rule
of a master, in the establishment of
military power, in the chastisement of
crime, of violence, and of private
wrong, not by civil law, but military
force. You propose to put in com
mand of one third of tho United States
generals of your armies. You propose
to confer ou them dictatorial powers.
That is tho word. This bill establishes
a military dictatorship by congression
al enactment for one third of the United
States, and its grants are in the largest
und vaguest terms. Under them any
act pertaining to tho punishment of
criminal offenders, muy be authorized
and may be performed by the military
power which you set up. That is a
dictatorship. No matter by what
iiamo it be designated, that is its na
ture. That you establish by this hill.
Whatever you propose.ihat will bo tho
authority created ; it will be known as
a dictatorship in all future time.
Mr. I'resideut, at what time is it
proposed to sot uji this military dicta
torship in the United States!1 Is it
uot nearly two years after tho con
clusion of tho lute wur? Is it not at
a time when complete peace reigns
throughout tho United States, when
thcro is no resistance to tho authority
of tho Government, and when we ap
prehend no such resistance in future
unless that resistance be provoked,
possibly, by our own conduct and poli
cy f Tli "re can be no vindication of
it upon the ground that it is necessary
in the conduct or innnagement of
military operations, in the subduing of
a force arrayed against our authority
in any portion of the country ; nor
that it is necessary to guard against
renewed revolt and renewed resistance
in any place or section subject to our
jurisdiction.
The Long Parliament, to which re
ference has been made, established a
military forco of its own, independent
of the Crown, and it placed over that
force military commanders. It armed
them and sent them forth upon a mis
sion of resistance to kingly power.
That was during a timo of civil con
vulsion, when parties were to bo ar
rayed against each other in deadly
conflict, when the great battle between
executive, prerogative, and popular
freedom was to be fought Cut upon
British soil. There was somo reason,
somo excuso then for u Parliament
which claimed omnipotence) to confer
cnortiious powors upon military com
raandcrs selected by itself. Thoro is
no reason now why an American
Congress which is not omnipotent, an
American Congress whoso powers are
carefully and grudgingly purcelod out
to it in tho Constitution of the coun
try, a Congress whoso powers aro
subjcclod to necessary and extensive
limitations; it id not now timo for an
American Congress to assume to itself
thoso omnipotent powers which will
bo implied by the pussago of this bill.
It is not now timo for tho Ainorican
Congress to set up military power and
a military dictatorship in any por
tion of the country.
Tho duties of the hour of which we
hear so much are to heal the wounds
of conflict, to restore real peace and
genuine concord throughout our coun
try, to return to the pacific debates
which in former times characterized
the proceedings of tho legislative de
partment of the Government, to ro
storo by sound measures that prosper
ity which was interrupted by tho war,
and by a c areful and provident states
manship to mako provision against
those dangers to which tho pecuniary
interests and the liberties of our coun
try are liublo in tho future. If I read
aright the 'duties of tho bour, they
mav bo thus described : they do not
consist in prosecuting in a timo of
peace tho projects, enterprise, and
meusurcs of a war. They do not in
clude tho injecting into our councils
clement of com notion, of hatred, of
antagonism. What is now required,
and particularly what is required in
the consultation 01 me legislative ao
partmciit. which is tho great brunch
. 1 l. ,.r . ., ,1 I k
i-,.
of restoration and peace, -loasessing
111 1 H spil It, H nilllll J'viiwiii. vui .illu
sion nobly and grandly, without it,
our labor will bo vain and our future
inglorious.
Uiicauso this bill assorts a congress
ional omnipotence which wc do not
possos, and which, if we did posses
it, wo ought not to exercise ; because
It renounces boforo tho world the
fuilure of republican Institutions
among us ; becauso it disregards ol I
the constitutional protections of tho
citUon.and, without npoossity or rea
son, subjocts bim in his rights of prop
erty, liberty, and even lift itself to tho
pleasure of military power, I shall
vote sgninst it, as I shall vote against
all similar moaeurcs wmcn may ds in
- 'troduced hereafter.
From the Nashville I'nioo and American.
But Lorenrood- on the fitritan
i'ankit.
Powerful onnry stockjjerominh pow
erful onary.
Tho rale, pure Punten, Yankoy ba
by, has a miik like a gourd, a foot like
a glut, an' a belly like a mildew's
drumhead. He gits his eyes open at
five days, while other ptirps hev to
wate nine, and bolore that tuna he
learns to listen uv 3. nite for his
mam's Bnorin, when ho steals in tu
suck 011 the sly, not that he's hungry,
for he's got the usual Yankey mess uf
biled starch, but because stolen milk
is sweet even this early, to the blue,
blinc, sernwnv yoi:n;r lrn maker, lie
1IU3 tlll'UlUU IJiff fv- v
I gatxw he'll'ntaiio m su, Yankey,
uhlo to keep up the family nitino, and
perhaps invent a cod hook or a clothes
pin. J'' ro m that nito on, the varmint's
whole life is a string uf cheats strait
KIMmiil Aitail. MA
along, never roslin' never missin', on-
til clocks wore out and broke. As the
dorg vomiu.as the mink sucks blood,
as the snail slimes, as the possum
shuns death, so does the Yankey cheat,
"for every varmint has his gif."
11 0 believes in schools and colleges
as a barber does in strops an' hones,
as hein' good tu sharpen razors on.
He 11 sing In ins nnd pray prayers for
you, and may be gin you a dime; but
ef you don t soon tine yourself set
back five miles on yer road to heaven
and ninety cents lozcrby his zeal and
charily, you may shut my eyes out
with cow slop, an 1 wou t even
sny phew ! His long, cold, flat back in
the color uf a mulutter gill's ,jUt
artcr bit ha been close shaved, and
hits stuck all over from tho scrag tu
tho tail, wif his sins, like revnoo
stamps on a luw suit, and cf you ex
amine them close, you'll fine a cheat
of some sort in tho lust darned ono.
If he sins among tho she, there's a
cheat cither in money or expectushuns
If ho sins a cussin that's a cheat in the
words, he'll try to smugglo in G d
d n, ondcr the wherein sham of "guul
darn." If he sins a stealin chickens,
he'll Btettl back at daybreak, an crow,
jist to make tho poor devil think his
ole cock is still on the roost. Jt ho sells
you an applo for a cent, art or smellin
the copper, he'll try to slip a peach
on to you, even if it is ove the sumo
price, just for tho sako uv slickeii a
cheat into tbo trado. If he scalds his
leather snout dippin it into your soup,
he'll offer you a wooden nut-meg for
enough of the skimmins to grease the
burn. He'll eat a codfish, and try to
cheat himself into believing nits beef,
and he'll lint en to the chiipiu of the
cricket In his Ore jm, and tell bis
children that it says "cheat, cheat,
cheat." His big, limber foot is achoAi,
for its shape and size makes you think
hit must havo guts in hit. when bit
haint got one. If you cut bis throat
I ou'll find a cheat, for instead of warm
red blood a stream of sky bluo will
run, so old that it'll freeze the black
ants whnt git overlooked in the phltid,
and when tiio devil gits bim he'll be
chcatc, fur he won't burn in good as
a suited rawhido. What bo war ever
mado fur is what's a peMerin' me, on
less it war to maik us hev a bettor
opinion of polecats, possums and cot
ton mouths, or as livin sampils tu
skcor us out of tho road to hell. I
reckon hit would bo a tolerablo safo
rulo to do nullin the Yankey does,
and do most anything what ho lets
atone.
I kin sorter bar tho ideur ove my
bein a natural born'd.ilikrncd fiMil, the
sody buiness, sister Sail's onlowful ba
by everything even the las' was of
Thad Stevens but lor the lite ove mo,
I can't reconstruct myself on the idear
ove tho latidin ove the .Mayflower.
What cud our maker be thinkin, that
he forgot to lay the finger on her rot
ten snout, an turn her down 111 the
soil sea, wiT hir pestiferous load of
cautin cheats an moral diseases. 1 he
wus that cud a happened wud a been
tho pisening ove a shoal or two of
sharks, and killin tho coral whero tho
olo tub lay.
lam mad at tho mjins, too, lor tiiey
didn't do tharduty to 'cm artcr they
did lan. If they hud circuinsizod the
head ovo tho lust darn'd ono, burnt
thnrclose, pack'd thar carcusses, beads
and tails, herrin fashions in thar old
ship, sul the sails and pluted her snout
the way Ward'i ducks went, they'd
deserved tobacer and whiskey while
wood grows or water runs. Spom
they'd a Pining three Uunilicdnd one
scalp" on willow switch for bait, went
a mackcril fishin. We'd a had no
mackeril now, I reckon, but whnt a
general blessin it would a bin to the
wholo ycarlh--tho isle of the sea,
witches nnd tho niggers. Wudu't
thorn injuns bad a savory smell in my
snout, in spito of their crubworm odor,
an wudn t 1 rise 01 a midnight, or any
other night, 10 can em niesseu, 111
No wouden clocks, horn L'tin flints,
nur higher law; no Millerism, Mor -
monism, nor ires iovo. o jiuomion
ism, spirit rnppius, nor crowen bens.
No BI'Mimer, bit britches I mean to
say ; 110 Grecly.no Sumner. Oh 1 my
gruishiis; hits to good to think about.
Durn them there leather injuns ; they
let tho best chance slip ever injuns
had to givo cverluNtin comfort to a
continent, nnd set hell back at least
five bundled years. Iso powerful
feared 1 stint reconstructed on the in
jun question cither.
Jeremiah pass the jug, the subject is
overpowering me, and I ain't quite un
buzumin myself yet. That's power
ful reaehing whiskey ovcyourn.
Wpll everything tlP iankey does
am a cheat in soma way, The word
cheat covers bis whole character s
nerloctly as tho ball of dirt kiyers tho
young tumblp bug, an like the bug ho
lives on hit, wallor in bit, rolls hit,
an at last bo Is burled in bit. Thar
! may bt a iroq coffin and silvw tassel,
thar may bs a grave stone from Italy,
tho side of his luce may be cut intu
rock, and Btuck agin tho wall of his
church, and they ma)' call their trot
tin horses, cod bouts, and bluo babies
arter him, yet still under thut black
velvet kivurlid, un insido that iron
coilin, atwixt tho fine linin, and that
shriveled hide of bis'n, is that bull of
dirt. Ho couldn't live without bit,
he couldn't die without hit, ho couldn't
lie still in bis grave without hit, and
ho'ii never be without hit onlil the
Sheriff Angol at the door of the lust
supreme court sholls him 011 ten it with
a kick store ho slings'm nuked into
the prisoner's box, whar from his fust
squul, and the could air snout, up to
that orl'ul kicken out on judgment
day, ke'll tlu anly on rsls uim its
a Yankey wif a winder in bis breast,
like ono of his own bemloch clocks,
showing all of his inside, springs, traps
and trigers. Then we'll seo what ho
really is for the fust timo, and per
haps we'll find out what ho was made
for, if ho was made at all, or only jist
happened like Sail Simpson's buby did.
Now we jist know thut is a cuss to the
yenrth, un' a pest to every woman on
Lit, like fleas and lioo, and earth mado
as a cuss, kept aliko as a cuss. Then
we'll know it all, but whether it will
pay then to know it is mightily mix
ed up wif the doubts.
afrrirfrnfa of Speech.
Pat has long labored under the im
putation of making moro "accidents"
with the tongue thun any of his fel
low mortals, but it can be very readi
ly shown that the "bull" is not neces
sarily indigenous to Irish soil.
A Fret. thmnn named Cullon, who
died in Paris not many years ago, was
remarkable- for a bovine tendency.
There is a letter of his in existence as
follows: "My dear friend; I left my
knifo at your lodgings yesterday.
Pray send it to mo if you find it.
Yours, Cullon. P. S. Never mind
sending the knife; I havo found it.
There is a note to his wifo, which
he sent home with a basket of provis
ions, the posteript to which read : "You
will find my letter at the bottom of
tho basket. If you should fail to do
so, let mo know as soon as possible"
It is suid of this same character that
one occasion he took a lighted ta
per to find his way down stairs with
out accident, nnd after getting down
brought it back with thanks, leaving
himself ut the top of tho stairs In the
dark ns at first.
A ludy onco asked the Abbe do
Maligtiou hour old ho was. "Why, I
am only thirty-two. " said ho, "but I
count myself thirty-throe, becauso a
litllo boy was born a year bcloro 1
was and died, evidently keeping me
back a wholo year by accident.
It was a Scotch woman who said
that tho butcher of her town only kill
ed half a beast at a timo.
It was a .Dutchman who said a pig
bad no ear marks exeep'. a short tail ;
and it was a British mugistrato who,
being told by a vagabond that he was
not married, responded, "That's a
good thing for your wifo."
At a pruycrmeoling in New Hamp
shire, a worthy layman spoko of a
poor boy whose father was a drunkard
und whose mother was a widow.
At a negro ball, in lieu of ''Not
transferable" on tho ticket, a notice
wns posted over tho door, "No gentle
man admitted unless he cornea hisself.''
An American lecturer of note, sol
emnly said ono evening, "Parents, you
may havo children, or, if you have not,
your daughters may have."
A Western editor onco wroto: "A
correspondent ask whether tho battlo
of Waterloo occurred before or after
tho commencement of tho Christian
era. t 0 answer it did.
j noso two onser ing men, tmo 01 , OCCaion:ilIy the Wife Ot your unc e.
whom said ho bad always noticed that I ai m this last case, sho is only
when ho lived through tho month ol ..' ty do ir" when she has nocl i -j
May he lived through tho year, and'jrnr her own. As to her u tiial
tho other of whom said ut a wedding)
ho had remarked that more women
than men had been married that year,
wero neither of them Irishmen
Gen. Gkani at a Dskss Ball.
"Mack," of the Cincinnati Commercial,
describes Gen. Grant at a recent full
dress bull : "Lale in tho evening Gen
eral Grant and his lady arrived.
Ulysses was immediately assailed by
a young lady, and hauled, rather thun
escorted, into the dancing room,where
lie, wss iramodijktoly mustered fur N
quadrille. Ho was in full dress citi
zen, not military and looked exceed
ingly odd to those who had never be
fore seen him but in uniform. lie
seemed to nio much smaller and moro
narrow shouldered thun ho had over
before apiHiared. It may bo because
of tho record that is inscparahlo from
his iiamo that many soo under his j being a kinsman and personal friend
military coat so closo a resemblance of General Washington, the most in
to the great soldiors who havo lived j timate sociul relations continued be
beforo him. But in dressing for a twoen them. General Siiottswood was
; party bo certainly spoil a good an-
dier to make a very indifferent looking
beau, wilh whom, I tuke it, tho ladies
would bo slow to full tho leust 111 love.
His fair partner pushed him through
the dance with moderate success. He:
didn't seem to like it a bit He was , Country, just ono year beforethedeath
embarrassed at the call of every figure, 1 of Washington, he said to him : "lifn
and couldn't for liis life get a fair start 'oral, this may be tho last time we
at right and left all round. Hi right
hand instinctively wont where the loll
was culled for, and tie rrrM. Then
again he appeared to be iootisiity
niraid of treading on tbo long dresses
ol tho ladies. J. ins lear, nowever, is
not peculiar to the Gonersl. It per
vades the minds of a great many gen
tlemen on such occasions. For my
part I unhesitatingly affirm that the
most delightful sound to bo heard in a
ballroom is the ravlshin? 'r-r-r-ip' that
fulls pf a dislocated skirt, 'Ti music
in the sinner's oar far mora enchant
ing than can b got out of roioa or
instrument.
The Walden .lunt.
It is mercifully ordered, in the great
scheme of existence, thut ncorly every
person should havo an aunt who is
willing to grow up an old maid, and
to sacritico her lilo to the good of oth
ers theso others being generally her
nephowsaud neices. Aunts aro tho
fairy good godmothers of society, tho
supplementary mothers who aro often
moro kind und indulgent to the child
ren than their parents ure. Thcro is
not a si nglo person anywhere who is
nut familiar with tho idea of a good
aunt. Wo sometimes hear of children
who never know father nor mother;
but where is the child that never knew
an aunt? When tho father and moth
er disappear, and leuvo tho poor in
iitut to Uia mercy of the world, who
is it that takes tiio little waif in, and
feeds and clothes it, and sends it to
school f WhoT The aunt. The good,
kind, tonder-hcarted soul, who, pcr
hnpa, has been punned over in life ;
who has toiled hard ; who has suffer
ed much ; who, at any rule, has never
tasted the joys of maternity ; who
has certainly never incurred its vexa
tions. It is really wonderful, under
such circumstances, that these women
should retain bo much humanity; that
tho tiro of lovo should not havo been
quenched in their hearts; that the
milk of human kindness should not
have dried up their breasts long ago.
We should be thankful to Heaven lor
these rnaiduii aunts of ours; they are
a legion of angels upon earth, forever
hovering about us to pity and to suc
cor. It the nuturul history of aunts
were faithfully and accurately follow
ed out, we aro rather inclined to think
thut the aunts of whom we speak
would be found to be a distinct species
of tho genus. Thcro aro points of re
semblance in all aunts of this class,
which arc to bo observed in persons
who stand to society in other rela
tions. There are many varieties of
mothers ; some good, some bad, some
indifferent. There are also many va
rieties of fathers, brothers, sisters and
uncles. There is a kind and indulgent
father; but quite as ofien there is the
harsh and tyrannical. There is the
affectionate brother and -the jealous
brother; tho loving sister nnd the
spiteful sister. Then, as to tbo uncle,
who should bo a counterpart of the
wifo ir. everything, (being tho mascu
line of the specie,) il it not proverb
ial that while some of them poke
their nephews in the ribs, call them
slv doir. and cive them no end of
bank-notes becauso they would not
sell thoir unclo's pictures, thoro are'
others, cruel, bloodthirsty rapacious
uncles, who take thoir nephews into
dark woods and leave them to die of
hunger.
But our auntt our aunts aro al
ways good. Who ever heard of a
wicked aunt ? Be it understood bow
ever, that we do not reckon among
our bright particular stars, the sister
of your father or mother who marries
and has children of her own ; nor the
lady whom your uncle may take to
himself with the samoj common pluce
result. Wo don't think of her, bo she
ono or tho other, in tho true aunt
sense. Do you cvcrcall her ''tiunty,''
and go and sit in her lap, and ut
your arms round her neck ? Answer
us that. No, no. Sho is aunt mark
how cold tho word is without tho en
dearing diminutive! Aunt Charles
or Aunt John, without lots of little
buckets of her own, dipping into the
well ol her affection, and she bus not
a drop for you. Dare to sit in her lap,
and she will push you rudely and
coldly away. Venture to put your
arm round her neck, and sho will
probobly stand upon hor propriety.
The person you call "aunty diar"is
quite another being. Mie is your
tntlinr'a Kistrr or vour mother's sister!
Him.i.aitii,n hn is brn to love and to
I joVC j . i,01.n to deny herself, to
! .nm,r naticntlv. to toil and spin, not
for herself, but for others ; born, above
all, to rear tho weakly Biiot p, ana 10
rcscuo tho black ones who go astray.
. ...
A Revolutionary ltti.ic The
Montgomery (Ala.) Mail state that
Dr. V. A. Spotswood, of Pensncola.
Florida, ha placed in the posession of j
the ladies of tho Catholic churvh al(
Pensacola, to bo exhibited nt a fair, a
word which was prewentori by Gen- j
cral Washington to Dr. Spotswood s
undo, as a memento of their friend
ship. General Alexander Spotswood,
tho recipient of thi inestimublo gift,
was an olliccr of tho Virginia Slate
lino in tho Revolutionary War, and
served under General Washington.
After the close of tho war,Niolswood,
living on tho K.ippahannock, near
Fredericksburg, and it was usual for
him to dino on Christmns day at
Mount crnon. Un tho last lestivc
occasion 011 hich be ever partook of
tho hospitality of the Father of his
shall ever meet or. earth, and I wish
you to present me with somo token ol
your friendship." Washington imme
disinlv taking a sword in his hand,
1 presented it to him with this remark
that il was ono of the swords that ho
bad carried through the Involution,
and which ho had converted into a
pruning knife," which was literally
true.
"Before love comes in at the door,"
1.1 I. . .. 1 1 f kim li niwin
ti,,.,i. tl. lr. iwdn II miffht p
laomslhing that would prevent bim
'ffcm entarmg.
( rVAtfo' OH M-tMlttlMT lTt$
Wif Iht (toMI sfr jHwse.
(If all color, perhaps the mot try.
ing to tho complexion are tho differ
ent shade of lilac nnd purple. The
fashionable and really beautiful mnnve
and it varieties are, of course, Includ
ed in this category. In accordance
with tho woll known law of optics,
that all color, simple or compound,
have a tendency to tint surrounding
object with a faint pcctrum of their
complementary color, thoso above)
mentionod, which require for their
harmony various tints of yellow and
green, impart Ihcso supplimenUry
colors to thocomplcxion. It is scarce
ly necessary to obscrvo that, of all
complexions, thoso which turn upon
yellow are tho most unpleasant in
their effect and, piolmbly, for this
reason, that in this climate, it il al
ways a sign of bad health. But, it
will be asked, is thcro no means of har
monizing colors so beautiful in them
selves, with tho complexion, and bo
avoiding thofe ill effect ? To a cer
tain extent this may bo dono, as
follows:
Should the complexion bo dark, the
purple tint may be dark also, becauso,
by contrast, it makes tbo complexion
appear fairer ; if the skin be pale or
fair, tho tint should be lighter. In
cither case the color should bo placed
next the skin, but should not be part
ed from it by tbo hair and by a rucho
I of tho tulle, which produce the nen-"
tralizing effect of gray. Should the
complexion still appear too yellow,
green leaves or green ribbons may be
worn as trimmings. This will often
ueutralizu lilac and purple eolors, and
thus prevent thoir imparting an un
favorable hue to tho skin.
Scarcely less difficult than mauve
to harmonize with tho complexion is
the equally beautiful color called
"magenta." The complementary color
would bo ycllow-greon ; "magenta,"
therefore requires very nice treatment
to make it becoming. It must be
subdued when near the skin, and this
nnst be done by intermixture with
bluck; cither by diminishing its bright
ness, by nearly covering it with black
lace, or introducing Xhe color in very
small quantity cnly.
Yellow, also, is u difficult color to
harmonizo with the complexion. A
bright yellow, like thut of tho butter
cup, contrasts well with black, and is
becoming to brums, when uot pluced
near the skin ; but pulo yellow or
greenish yellow suits no one, especial
ly those with palo complexions. Its
effect is to diffuse, by contrast, apur
plo hue over the cor.plexion, and
this is certainly no addition to beauty.
Blue is favorable to most complexions;
light or sky bluo especially so to fair
persons with golden hair ;. fuller tints
to thoso who are less fair or in whom
years have developed some of the color
of tho sere und yellow leuf peculiar to
autumn. It often happens that as
persons advance in years, colors which
suited them in youth cease to be be
coming ; pink, for instance agrees with
a youthful complexion and fair skin,
but it docs not harmonize with tho
yellow tints of more advanced age ;
in this case cither sky-blue, or puns
deep blue, will bo substituted with
advantage for pink.
. Cood Take-off".
Some of our religious and other pa
pers obtain subscribers on the gift
enterprise system, offering sewing ma
chines, Ac. Cony O'Lmus takes them
off neatly, as follows :
I propose to start a religious news
paper on the gift etiterpriso plan. It
will be devoted to sanctity and sew
ing machines, piety, politics and pat
ent medicines. Tho following premi
ums will be given to subscribers :
Subscribers for ono copy of the
Cliurch Cancer will bo presented with
a box of patent Petroleum Paste Black
ing. This is a very superior article ;
it will bli.ck hoots or stoves, and may
be used as a hair dye, See testimo
nials from leading clergymen, states
men and boot blacks
Subscribers for two copies will re
ceive a box of sardines.
Subscribers for fivo copies will be
presented with a pair of iron-clud spec
tacles, with glass eyes, warranted to
suit ono ugo us well as another.
Subscribers for twelvo copies will
be entitled to a wooden leg, a patent
ndjustublo boot jack, whR-h can also
bo used as a cork-screw, a coffco mill
or an inkstand.
Subscribers for twenty copies will
bo entitled to a pair of false calves, and
a gilt-edged copy of Anna Dickinson's
speeches and writini-s.
Subscribers for twenty-five copiei
will receive a tilling lioop-tkirt, and a
marble breau with a mahogany top.
:l - i-a.. 11
Subscribers fur fifty copies will re
ceive a set of summer furs, and a bur
ial plot with an order lor a tombstono
when required.
Subscribers for five hundred copies
will receive a trominntion for Corgrcss
wilh a library consisting of a bottle
and a pack of cards.
Subscribers for a thousand copies
will be prrt'ntrd with a furm in New
Jersey, fenced in and mortgaged.
Clergymen neling as agent for tho
Cancer will bo furnivbed with a pair
of brass knuckles nnd an tcre of court
phiBtor.
Tin Goppr.ss or LintRTT. Tho
origin of tho portrait of tho Goddess
of. Liberty npon our coin is of great
interest. Mr. Spencer, the inventor
of Spencer's lathe, nsed by the Amer
ican Bunk Note Company, was the
artist who cut the first die ft.r our
American coin. He tut an cuad me
dallion of Mrs. Washington. 1I.0 wifo
of General Washington, and tho Crt
fow Coin were struck with her por
trait. When General Wellington saw
them be was displeased, and requested
tho figure to be removed. Mr. Spencer
altered the features a little, and put
ting a cap upon its head, called il tho
Goddess of Liberty.
Trte, bnt makes you look so aw
ful !
Jake, I'm agitata, and unless my
spirit are soothed, I'll do something
dcporat. I'll ruh out and tear a
board off the bog pen.
How like the shadow upon the dial,
thought ever returning to the place of
beginning where wo nrsi negan 10
live, whtre we first began to loo, to
I the bomcUad and the trusting pjjee,
; tn pisy grounu ...u ,Ur.--..