O
J.fl.LARMMER, Editor.
VOL VIM. XO 'JG.
ftclfpublnu: !
re r ins of ubr rlptlo...
if fill in advance, or within three Inonthi, $ 1 16
(fpni'l anjf timo within the year, ... 1 .SO
ff pill itfidr the expiration uf the year, . 2 00
Term of Advertising,
lrortine oi' nt iro i naertod in the Republic an
j tha folbirinif rates :
1 InKnrtinn
a do.
0n 't'ire, (14 lined, ) $ 40
75 $1 Oil
T iuare. (2Sines,) I 110 1 60
2 no
fjri nquarea, (42 lino,) I 60 I 00
2 60
12 mo
17 00
10 0(1
12 00
14 00
18 no
85 no
a mofitnu. o mi',
, Sqiur, : : : an 4 no
roqurei, : : : : : 4 00 A 00
ftirae squares, : : : : & 00 8 00
ror squirm, : : : : B 00 10 00
Hlf column, ! : : ! 8 00 12 00
Oni eoliuin, ! ; : : 14 00 20 "0
Omr three weeks anil lesa than three month 25
ot Pr miunre fur each insertion.
Bmn notices not eiceedini; Kline are in-
jer'rd fr 1 2 a year.
AilrertiMmeiiM not marked with the number of
iawrtions desired, will be continued till forbid
toargad according to these terina.
J. 11. LiAKKl.Ur.K.
'22t'.t3 t2 SOS's
.losKI'II PETE1W, i
Justice of the. Poire, Cururensvillc. Ptina.
OSS dour mat or Montel.us A Ten hvck i,
Store. All hmineaa entrusted to him will,
ei promptly intended to, and all instruments o I
writing dune i n short notice.
Jlircli. 31. IX.'"- y.
egg. YOLK lEETll.
S0 TAKE CARE OF Til EMU
D l. .1. Jl. ill (loaires 10 announce 10
hi; friends nnd patrons, that he is now do-
rutin all of his time to operations in Hentistry.
Those ilr.-iriiiR his s-rvice will find him a his
Dice, adjoining his residence at nearly all tunes.
and auravn on a-rlilaya and Jaturuy. unles?
Notice to the contrary be given iu the town pa
ps the week previous.
S. u. All work warranted to ne sutisiociory.
Clearfield, I'll, Sept. 22nd, IfiiS.
DENTAL CARD.
M. SMITH offers his professional services
to the Ladies nnd CJflltlf int-li of Cle.nr-
teld nnd vicinity. All operations performed
iih nenine.N anil deMinteh. lieintt lnmiliar
with all the lute improvmenU, he is prepared to
make Ar llirinl I'celh in the best manner,
office in Show's new row.
Sept. 14th, 18fn. lvi.
dm. u. v. Wilson.
II
AVINU removed his office to the new dwel
ling on .Second street, will promptly answci
sional calls as heretolore.
II. 1.1 niti Wf.TI. 1. TKST
1 A It l I Ml. K t TI'.ST, Attorheys at Luw
i Cleuififld. l'a.. will attend promptly to l.'ol
iimns, Land Aircncios, Ac, &., in Clearliold
Centre and Klk coulihcs. Juij .v.j
joTin r iuTiTi r MA .N
OTII.I. continues the business uf I'liuir Making.
ij tnd llouso. Sign and Ornamental fainting. '
the shop formerly occupied ty I loiitiniin uowc
at the east end of ', Market street, a short distune
ncntof l,:li's Foundry. June IS. ISii.
-i7TrMrsoN7TiA!tTso(:x .n co.
Troii l''i,uii(lcrK. Ciirwcnsvillu. An extensive
j ..jsoriineiil of l'atir.gs made to orderu
Dec. 2H, ISfil.
L. JACKSON CHANS.
ATTORNEY AT LAW, office adjoining lis
rest tenon on Suvom! Sticot, t'lea . ..J. 1 u.
June I l.ut.
Vi7i'7TMOMlV(JN,
1)' uli Ian, may be foundeither at his oflu .
Srolield's hotel, turwelisvillc, when i
I urn :fii miily nI'M'iii. I'cc. 2S, lt"J
FIIKHKUK'K ARNOLD,
Merchant ami I'rotlurc Healer. Lnther
loir t'learliild county, Pa.
Aeui 17. IS52.
KLLL IRWIN cV SONS.
VT the mouth of Lick Run, live miles from,
vieanield. M UK CHANTS, nnd extensive
Hoiuliietiirers of Lumber,
July n, IS02.
J. I). THOMPSON,
1)larkuilW. Wagons, lluggies, Ac, Ac, ironcu
) m short notice, and the very best style, at his
Jid stand iu the borough of Curwirnsville.
Deo. 2'J, 18jH.
DR. M. VIOOIH, having changed li in loca
tioa from Curwcnsville to Clearfield, ros
T'Ctfuily offers his professional service to the
iliisn of the latter place and vicinity.
Residence on Socond street, opposi'a f atf
J. Craus, Ei. my lit.
P. VV. BARRETT,
rEKCHANT, PRODUCE AND LUMBER
LU DEALER, AND JUSTICE Of THE
PEACE, Luthersburg, Clearfield Co., Pa.
J. L. CUTTLE,
I Homey at Law and Land A pent, offic
l. adjoining bii residence, on Market slree
ClMrtiald. Marchit, 1853.
. ft SUA W,
I) ETAILER of Foreign and Domestic Merch-
IV andiae, Shawsville. Clearfield eounty, Pa.
Shinrsville, August 15, 1855. I
PI. iS rr.HIN(j,Tho suWriher, bavin
located himself in the hurnnirh nf Clearfield
"oll infarm the public tliat he in prepared to
orlt in the above line, from pliiin fo ornnmon
li f "n7 ,ic""'ril1'ion in a workmanlike manner
lo wtiiicwanhinn and repairira; done in a neat
nner and on reasonable term.
EDWIN COOPER.
Clearfield, April IT, HT. J.
n. o. crouch,
i'IYSICUN Office in Curwenaville.
May
WMT VTCU AMBKR&
(1ARHIES on rWrnnaHnpr. Wheelwright, and .
' .nd mn painti at Cnrwensrill.,;
ClsarttHdeo. All ordeVs promptly attended to
&, 1SS8.
A. T. SCHRYVER.
II
" reaitmort the praettre or meileln. and
Will attenil nr .tnnllv t,i all all. (n 1,1. tirn.
, J"" . hi Any or night. Re.id. nra nj.p-.lte the
'-Wi.t climci. JIny4, 1858. 0 mot.
flftt jloftrji.
THH HI.I.I.IMNt; IH.AKT.
A UCllUST or Tilt OKEAT flKK 11 MAM FRANCIS.
CO, IN HAT, 18SI
Niht came upon the city. In the halls
Wbi framing i in the broad and liKlitetl streets,
Ti e crowd of busy men went hurrying i
All heedless of the fearful duouj that hune
O'er the devoied oily.
Hark I a sound ,
Fillinjrall hearts with terror drowning e'en
The voice of revelry, so that her voUrics
Lookod up aKhat with fear sending its tone
Through curtained clumbers where the rich re.
pose,
With gold ai J purple hung, and heard throu'out
The dim and dreary hovels of the poor
"Awako! Awake! the city is on fire!"
Then came a rush like chariots thro' tho streets,
And fearful clangour, and the sounding cry
Of strong men in their might, mingled with ihe
wail
Of feeble women, and the infant's cry,
Claspiug its littlo hands, trembling wilh fear
To its young mother's breast.
And then a roar
Like tb ut of many water.-, heard at first
Afar, then near and nearer felt '. Then came
A mighty, rushing sound, and then a crash
Like heaviesi thunder, with an earthquake shock
Startling the earth benoath, as though the end
Of all t ings was at band.
It fell ! it fell !
The Golden City with its palaces j
Turret and tower, and gorgeous, glittoring douio
Suuk in a sea of fire !
"Uiing forth the dead !" and straight they bro't
tbeiu forth ;
Changed, limbless forms, all scorched and scath
ed with fire !
Oh ! God ! their weeping mothers scarce cun tell
Which was her darling thero ! They brought
them lorth;
And on the broad plaza laid them in the ropose
Of fearful death 1
One came she was a laJy of high mien,
nd noble beauty, one of Spain's fair daughters'
Hut pale and trembling as the aspen leaf,
Aud gaziug with wild eyes among the sad
And fearful ranks of death. For one there whs
Who left ber on tout eve loj in the throng
Of mirth and feasting, in the festal halls
?hehnd nut eccn him since.
Hark ! a wail,
Piercing all bcarU, aud freezing e'en (he blood
Of valiant when with terror a loud bbriek
Of bursting anguish then a fearful cry
"Alfonso ! Oh ! 'tis he ! 'tis he ! tis Alfonso !"
There they lay,
On the cold earth together, tide by side,
Tell ine, which is the living ? which tho dead f
Talk not of fire ! There is one fire ibat burns
Deeper and hotter than the furnace flame,
Lit by Assyria's monarch, iuto which,
With God's bright Angel, the three brothers
wa.ked
During and glowing like a scoot d bell
It is the anaiiisb of a Weeding lloort !
VHisctihncous.
Sim.II.aii Aci'ibKNT. A lad, w hose pa
rents hud positively forbid his hunting, at
Petersb j i , ', Vu., started out on Wednes
day, without their knowledge, on a gun
ning cxeiil tion He hud proceeded but a
w,l , ennniv I..
diort distance in I i t
fire he espied u sitnr
r neb iif.i verv lull
V.,ngN.mrod,b.ing an excellent marks.
ma... succeeded in killing the niuirrel. but
ill i i l .1.
a IfHliPtl on a limb, nixi tlioiuli several
a diti mal h ,ots were discharged, all failed
touinlodgu thelittle aunimal. Tho hunt
man jiroceeded to ascend the tree, and
hud neatly reached the object of his pur
suit, when ho slipped and fell into the
crotch of the tree, where he became so
firmly wedged that all eflbrW to extricate
himself proved unavailing. Fortunately,
he is blessed with a stentorian pair of
lungs, which he called to his aid, and
l . At... r...Aai tt-ltli l,!a mii,4 fur
nmucu.c ....fc ..... ;
he n. An old colored mun heard his la-
I
mentations, nnd procuring an axe, soon
' . , . , . . , .
relied the youth from his disagreeable and ,
,c ' ,, , . , , ,
painru. suu.u.on. a.a -r "
a few very severe scratches, but lost the
en-ire leg of a pair of new pantaloons,
wl.icli netrayeu nis uu.u.cy lu ,.,...
uiion ins arnvui iiuinc, uno ! in.i ut.
u . , , , . , ,
received a sound thrashing, and was sent
to bed o. an empty stomach,
Col.B. M. Hoe. of New York, inventor of
the celebrated cylinder printing picas, is
about to construct acarraigo to travel over
any turnpike or good country road, and to
tSZZoui
his place of business and his country seat, ,
about twelve miles from the city of New .
Vrk. hisexpeetod that the carraige and '
propelling power will not cost more than
a good puirofhorso and a coach, and trnv-
" 0VPr ft. ",r 1 T
ty per mile. I hi" will prot e a grca pub-
lie oonvet.iei,e,bwides thesaving of horse-
flesh and oat. : i
11 '
I Harmless cure for warts. Dissolve a
..,. - .,., , ,f sl nniiiioniun in n .-ill of
- r ,
soft water, and wet the warts frequently
with the noluiion. .'
"KXCKLSIOK."
CLEAIIHKLI), PA. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBEIl 1, H
Death of Madame Ida Pfeiffer, the
Great Traveller.
M:iliimr- Mu IMV'iflV'r.tlio irrcat travi'ller,
(licl ut Vifimii on the 27th nil., nfter her
return from tho Muttrilius, which kIiu lnul
vifitotl hist cpriiig. She wan born in Vien
na, 17'J7, und nmn-i(d to rr. lMciiU r, of
Lcnihcrg, in 1S20, but hir hublund nnd
(wo sonii dying, bIio Bet out on ajotu ney
toJonimiloin, after which hIio published
an account of her iilgi'irnni:c. She next
explored northern Europe, clour up to loo
land ; then (he went to Brazil, round cape
Horn, to Otnheitc, China, .Japan, and
much of Asia. Renting awhile, she j,ub
li.nhed another book and left for the capo
of (iood Hope and the Ilotti-ntot country.
She curried lier explorations tiotno two
hundred miles into the interior, living a
niong the savages on terms of amity, and
enjoying excellent opportunities forobser
vution. Returning to the cape she sailed
for Singapore ; went thence to Borneo,
w here nhe resided for a month Btnong the
fierce tribe of the Dyuka ; then went over
the mountains to visit Sungau and Lan
dek, and after several visits to the settle
ments, bent her steps towards Java, where
she reccivud hospitable entertainment ;
went thence to Summatra, lived another
month among n tribe of Cuninbals, and
came awny entire, although they proposed
to cat her, and 'vere only (lisiundtd there
from, ishe avers, by her represcnatioiis
that she was old and neeessaiily very
tough. Tho islands of the archipellago
were all visited by her, and the Sultan of
Tetnata atlorded her all possible facilities
for exploring his particular island The
lady rode through his dominions drawn
by "twenty man ower," as she describe
it. for his majesty owned no beasts of bur
den except men. Afterwards she went to
the Celebes, and having finished her sight
seeing there, returned to J.iva and em
barked at Butavia for San Francisco. The
voyage was pleasant and Madame I'feilliT
reached California in September 1H53. She
visited the '-wet diggings," examined the
uuartz furmauons, went up to the Crescent
city, lived among the Indians in Oregon,
ran dow n to Accapulco, and viewed the
mines of quicksilver ut Sun Jose, and then
went dow n the coast to Lima, and made
the tour of the Peruvian mines. Thence
she went to Guayakil, and thence to Qui
to, and in this stuge of the journey she
sullered numerous perils and hardship,
j the rainy season having set in, and the
roads rendered nearly impassable. Once
j she fell overboard from a canoe, ond owed
1 her lite to' to her skill in swimming. Qui
to oifered no temptations to detain her,
and after a short visit she returned to Gua
yakil, and departed thenco to Tummm,
Crossing the Isthmus to Asp.nwall, sbe;
took a steamer oassane toNew Orleuns.and
then began her tri. through the United
States, w hich ended in this city, in 11, ! U,M "" " ""'.v mtequaie to an .tie
exactlv lour years ago. From New u,. wants of commerce, and e..e,i,.ragci,,e.,t
leans she went to Arkansas, thence up . "ol lo blv, n U"in "" T,'u - S,",u'
the Mississippi to St. Louis, thence to the! ol tl,eK voss,,1?' ''""J 0e ''"'' ll,,'iaU'
falls of St, Antony ; thence by wav oHia-. f,s,,,MfurU, J,,iv,"m ,nn,,kH-" w,vok
lena, Chicago, M.hvnukee, and Sauk St. int'- ,''""l'tl ''kers are rcpured, by
M.irie, to lake Superior ; tlience by wav of
iu.l..,.l Montreal to New Yo , tirri.
, "'IM0 l-"'"Io at the close of 134. she
prepared her notes of this extended tour
ir puuiiniuuii. lulu nir mil i i iv t? is nun
....
pin and interesting. Her last journey was
undertaken about a year ago, Sho rev is. j cac or re-shipment of wrecked or damag
ited Africaand attempted to explore Mad- ed cargoes. Ho considers the charge of
agascar, but was prevented from the ful-1 24 pur cent, as a kind of premium on
filment of that part of her plan by the
watchful jealousy of the Queen, who sub
jected her to sundry indignities, and final
ly expelled her from the territory.
Madame Pfeiller with all her roaming
propensities, woo not a coarso or bold wo
man. In person he was below the mid-
dle size LuJ Jark mi. nn() lirilllant vy
' '
ii- ii a n lii'ni'u rnnl nil i nvfriiinn tilnninAua
. . 1 .
and in manner was quiet and reserved. In
... i r
a letter written to a friend, a few years a-
Bhe dcscribos herself: "I smile, (she
j (hiik of mnny
knowi ie onl th h travel(ii fun.
fy my mmnvrff PVen niy
figure and movemenU.are more like those
UIK lllilll lllllll a nuillioi. Jim mi.-cij
r-borro me I But vou. vou know me. :
ll.... r.l..l.. .1.1
know that thoso who expect to find mo
six feet high, with a bold, imposing gait,
H1,j u dagger and pistol in niy belt, disco-,
yor jn )ne U0 yMy rPV0w, . lltl(1 tlmt in j
o ' .
every day life , an, plaine,, quieter and
moro reserved thnn thousand, of my own
gex ho havo never left the seclusion of
tjil!p nntive villages.
Ciiier rr. What if you have failed in
busii.ess - yon still have life and health.
J mishaiii
Do not sit dow n and cry over your n rsliapg
for that will never get yon out of debt, nor
buy your children frocks. Go to work at
' ,Kin. .at ,t)tt,inolv. dress moderate.
.i.: n.,.l l.-,,.n ,.11
y ,rl ,, R , ,, , K .. , ...h,
keep a merry heat, ana you will soou t,e
up in the world again.
i!J.
The Wrecking; System of Florida.
In ihe new work on "Wreck ami Sal
vage," by Judge Marvin, (from whose de
cision there is no appeal except to the I'.
S. Supreme Court,) ho furnishes much val
uable matter for underwriters. He s
i.mi i-nor lo trvi, wt.en I lon.l.t lielnnge.I
to pain, wreckers from the the r.aliaum
Islands constantly cruised ulong the I'loii -
da reefs, and saved lurgo amounis of ship-
wrecked property, which tliev carried to
Niirrhu. In 1821, the country was trans,
feuedto the United States by Spain, nnd
soon alter that event, a few hoiwes were
built, and n -tnul I settlement of Americans
was made by John W. Simonton, Pardon
O. Ureene, and others, on the island c died
by theSpaniardsCayollueio (llone Island, j
and by the Americans Key West. In '22
Congress established a port of entry at this
place. The settlers built wharves and store
houses, and were very soon in a condition
to recieveiind Btoro goods, and repair and
refit vessels of moderat e size. In 1S.12,
Congress prohibited the carrying of wreck
ed goods found on the coast of any for
eign place, and required all such goods (o
seme port of entry in the United State.-.
This broke up the business of the. Ilaliiuna
wreckers, und Key West, became the cen
tral point for the biisincssii!' wine knur
on the Coast. In 12H, Congi e. s est; b,
lished a Court at Key West, vested with
admirulity jurisdiction. The judg" wa
elnpowcied to lieel.se wrecking ve -el .--This
Court was abolished by the admi-sin;,
of Florida into the Union in IS-15, and a
District Court of tho United Stales was es
tablished in its place, in lt47. The Judge
is authorized, a in the act of lS'iS, to li
cense wrecking vessels. The act reads, "No
vessel nor master thereol, shall be regular
ly employed in the business of wrecking
on the coast of Florida, without the li
cense of the Judceof said Court ; ;ind be
fore licensing any vessel or master, the
Judge shall bo satisfied that the vessel is
sea-worthy, and properly ami sullii i niU
fitted and equipped for business of saving
property shipw recked and iu dish ess, und
that the master thereof is trustworthy uno
innocent of any fraud or ini-ennd'.et in re
lation toanj property shipwrecked oi sav
ed on that cast." It has been lieki by .lie
Judge, that embezzlement ol wrecked
goods, voluntarily runninga vesselagroiti.d
under tho pretence of pilo'ing her, (o.lu
ding with the master of a vccl wici kc.
or in distress, or corrupting liin- by inn
unlawful preseneor promise, are, sevetafly
jiood causes for tvitiiolding or iei'ol;;ii
t the license The act does not apply to
i trading or 'laixielit Vesseb, but only to
vessels engaged iu wrecking as a business
1 oity-sex en vessels, averaging lilty tons
' c:,d'' ll,ul can'.vi"l? u,'oul "6 ,l
l'"ve licenses at the pre.-ei.t time,
u ' u,u ,,,l-uu, l' "" J'""l,i" 1 1
codings for salvage against all property
vi yjii hit; wiav.
Judge Marvin objects to the Commis
sion allowed or reocommended by l lie
Chamber of Commerce of New York, in
hand and that it leads to losses, besides
being a precedent for other port
Kansas Fatal to Neh srAi'KHs, The
Lawrence (Kansas) llcrull uf Freedvm, says
-"We find that some twenty-five news
papers, which have been sturted in Kan
sas since its settlement in the full of 1854,
have been suspendod or gono down en-1
tirely. In fact savo the Leavenworth
Herald, and the Herald of Freedom,
the two oldest newspapers in tho territory
we believe there is not a paper which has j
an editor which dates his connection wilh '
the Kansas press back of tho spring of .
1857. Somo half a dozen of ureses have
" cl liiviuilllli IU mu JtJIIIloiy, WHICH CIC
i i i...i... t : i.:.. i
,ievt'1' used tl,eir orit'i"1 1 o i iotoi S
i. ,,,., l i, ,iu i.,.r...... ii..., ,,... i
.fuv i.iiiiiifiiu iii.ii'in I'Linir in, j mu- u-T-i,.
A press was taki-u to Fort b'ilcy in the;
summer of Ihib, und is now owned by Mr.
Garvey of Topoka. At.oiher i.s taken to
Munhuttan during that year, ..nd is now
in tho Herald of Freedom otliee. The
press on which the Osuwatomie Herald
was printed, was taken to that place in
tho fall of lH5ti;was buried in awo.nl
pile when tho town was destroyed, and
laid idle until lal winter, when it was
brouget forth to print that journal. A
strange fatality lias attended the Kansa,
newspapers and press,, anl their future
history will be very interesting," . .
,., h
JvayThe religion tlint c ts us null ing ij
worth exactly what it Cost.
$) ii in o r o it s .
A Glioit l'ateut Sermon.
BV Mill , JR.
no,,, ! fr nfthu f, .A. ;.
I'wi.'tnic'e,"
j Mv 1 1 j-.a i: i it-: No rational man ever
yet hud even u soft shell doubt crawl into
1 his mind that a 'ood wife w a good thina
article, utensil, or "institution.".
This being conceded we arrive at a star-
'tin;: point. Our text says, my unwedded
brethren, you must seek iigikid hue ; the
i best gift of God's providence ; of the great
Disposer of human events nnd mun hurra
bio women. That's so. By looking to
such u source, you are sure to get one of
the riht stamp, containing tho pure me
talic ring; not one composed of counter
feit virtues, or made up of zink ami pew
ter pretensions. And what is more, it
isn't going to cost you any thing neither
at the beginning nor at the end, except a
new suit of clothes, a plain gold ring, and
a ten dollar piece for tho parson ; which is
my stiuiihud price, and "I'll havo no
more, and never luko a cent less."
The Devil, my beloved bachelor, always
iiusa great deal of feminine truck in the
market, for which you have to pay pretty
roundly or let it alone. Generally speak
ing to get one of this sort, you must show
i plethoric purse in the beginning, and
iive it a good sweat nt the start s and this,
brethren, is the literal meaning of that
Greek quotation, "the devil's to pay." Af.
o rwaids your purse wilj probably sweat
itself into a galloping consumption, and
lissolve nnd disappear, "like the baseless
fabric of a ision, or a pound of salts in a
(iiart of warm water. Then n dark cloud
w ill lower upon your shanty ; love, if it
ever gained a residence in your hearts will
cerliii.ilv e: n ignite lrom such an arctic re
gion ; want and w retched nets will stare
you in i lie eoimtenaiue, like a couple of
cat owls watching a gopher by moonlight;
and ut ilcs relieved by divorce, the devil
gel- a p;;i, of' you in the end.
My friends: Fvcry man, bo he good or
l ad, should ha'-o a good wif If he be a
good, siicuillmake him a better mem
ber el .socii ty ; it bad, but not wholly be
yoi i! redemption, a good wife will put a
new sui'l'uce upon him in two weeks : and
at the end of a single year he will have
undergone s,ieh a thorough renovation
ihat lie woi.'i know himself from the se
wnteetii commandment. If thou art gi v
en 10 ;'re;t:ng. nd don't know what to
fret . bout, it is well to provide thyself
wiih a hon e, and furnish it with u good
.vile und a few littlo white-headed rt crter
m, then verily thou canst fret to thy
oul's content, und the good wife will pro
bably heed it not. but let it run itself out,
as it most iis-uiedly will iu time. Thou
shnlt fret :
1st. Ilccause tho fashions change wi h
every new moon, and it takes too much
change to keep a .vile rigged according to
(i .in. or.
2d. liec.iusea red flannel petticoat, even
to think about, is worse than tho soven
yiiir itch.
."nl. Ilccause the hoops to the vinegar
barrel are always flying off, and wife wants
coopering once in every two months.
4th. Ilccause the coffee is too delicate
and butter too robust; eggs geological
specimtns; meat not cookeu half cook
ed cooked to a cinder; potatoes soggy
turnip pithy ; piecrust hammered out at
the blacksmith's, and tho "shortening"
omitted on account of its extreme length.
5th. Becauso tho children's faces are so
dirty they'll never be able to speak Eng
lish, fith. Because there is nothing in its place
exrfl't cat in tho milk pitcher, and
the evening newspaper in the slop-pail.
But.as before said, thy fretting w ill run It"
so,r ut in ti,ne Jf !lot medilled with ; nnd
tllon s,'illt afterwards become worthy of a
J?00'1 wil'" wli0 h 110t ony l"rne it all
w ithoul a murmur, like a duck in a hail
MOlm' u 1 "u,omi1"1 appoiogies,
L'arniMieit wiin tne sweetest oismi es. iiro
1
iiiiscd an extra endeavor to suit you for the
luture.
Worthy bachelors: Seek a good wife of
your God, and you will find it an easy mat
ter fo scare up one. What I mean by a
(.0011 wife, is one plump as a patridge, a
bo.it two thirds full of common eni, and
the other third filled with tr'mmings for
the tame one modorately addicted to
r'". "ounces and tight lacing
Vlhoii0 howt u 8 n,flPn,t ,hftt R,,ft11
o-i to hrr si.le, and induce you to spend
major part of your evenings in Ler
"vvo1 ' 0,10 wl',so "'''-nt ch urns
" m all your wandering, will
Ul "llieW. noplace
like home :" 0110 who will kep buttons
upon join-shirts, and put a polish upon
yCur manner ; one who can make a good
TERMS-$123 per Annum.
NEWSEKIKS VOL. III. NO U.
pot -pie, as well as play upon tho i.iiino :
and above ull, one who knows how to pre
paro nice Mulling for n turkey on Christ
inas. I ''holler" on that. But bowaro of
your strong-minded, double-jointed sort,
nnd blue stockings in general.
Bichelor miners; I don't know that
you are so wretchedly in want of a wife as
a good many others ; but you know your
own wants boat. If vou are wearv. and
w W
feel life to be a sort of one horse arrange
ment without a lielp-mato, why then look
about for your tothcr half, and splico on;
Though sho digs not herself, verily, in all
likelihood, sho will mako you dig tho
sharper. But bo yo not in a hurry, tho
guady red petticoat, I predict, will soon
give place tonn article of sobor blue. Then
oh, ye brethren miners, you may take tin"
to yourselves wives, and blissfully share
with them your happiness, your bed, your
board, your sheets and your shirt !
But these wretched greedy Mormons 1
upon tho subject of wife-taking, they car
ry their goatish ideas to a most prodiga
extent. They want altogether too much
of a good thing more than reason, reli
gion, or tho lawsVif the iand ought to al
low ; but let us hope that through the
grace of God and gunpow der, a new order
or things will soon be instituted in ihi
midst of this miserably benighted peoplo:
My brethren : you should never marry
very young. Life is a feast : after you
have enjoyed the substantial., let a wifo
come in us a desert. So mote it be.
Tom Cokwin's Last. At a triui recently
held at Yellow .Springe, growing out of a
difficulty between some of the students
and faculty of Antioch, tho "Old Wagon
Boy," who represented tho faculty, was
exhibiting to the jury n' foil or cano
belonging to one of the students, which
j was prob ibly used in the mole Tom was
jin his usual happy mood, and brought
j down the house frequently by his wittv il-
j lustrations of the noble science of fencing;
now parrying imaginary thrusts, und anon
throwing himself fiercely upobthe attack.
At last having exhausted his full Btore of
pleasantries, with one fell thrust ho made
a f.'iiit to strike one of tho students, Mr.
Fisher, who sat near by, and with a look
of unfathomable gloom, and the voice of a
Stentor, he thundered out: "And what
would you do, sir, being unarmed, if 1
-hoiild attempt to pierce you through?"
Imagine the roar of- laughter which
greeted this eloquent effort of the "old
stumper," when the half frightened stu
dent, collecting again his wits, sprang td
his feci, and successfully mimicking Cor
win's most bombastic style, exclaimed:
wouhl welcome yow, sir with blood;, hand to a
ospitaLlc grave." Ohio Press.
A I.kttkr Fon Dennis. "Ilillo, Misther
Postmaster, and is there iver a letter Lore
for Dennis O'Flatherty ?"
"I helie've there is," said tho postmas
ter, stepping back and producing a letter
'And w ill you be so kind as to ratio it tc
mo, seein' I had the misfortune to le ed.U
rated to rade novel al.it?"
"To bo sure," said tho accommodating'
postmaster.
Tie then proceeded to rood tho epistle,
which was from tho "old country," con
corning his relations there, Ac. Wbij JnJ
hid finished, Dennis observed :
"And w hat would you be axin for the
postage on that lottcr.
"Fifty cents."
"And its cheap chough your honor, but
as I think of axin ye lo trust, just kapi,'
the letter for pny ; and say, Misther, if I'i
call in, one of theo days, would yo write
afl answer to it!"
A word in season. When' John Wesley
first came to America, one of his fellow
voyagers was General Oglethorpe who
came out to Iks Governor of Georgia. The
General was JetailingsoinC fault Of his sci
vant to Mr. Wesley ,and declaring wiisth'r
punishment would be, winding up his re
marks with the words: "Tho rascal shouli!
have taken care how he used mo, 'for I novo
forgive.'" "Then I hope," said John Wcs
ley, looking calmly at him, "you never sin"
There was a whole sermon in fheso fee
word?.
Anxum sto hkb. ".Seen tho Crystal Pal
ace Tummy ?" asked a littlo urchin of a
nwesboy, "Oh yes, l'vo been up ther
several different times," replied anothc.
newsboy, as (hey stood in Nassau stre
waiting for the Extras tocome out. 'Wa';
I know s a man that would give Gve thout
and dollars to see that place." "You tl
Jim?" Yes, sir-ot." 4,And you know j
Jim?" "Yer." "Beta quarter on it tba
you don't." "Done ;" and the money war
placed in the hands of Billy Hulligvi.
"Now who is ho?" "Why he's a blimj
man."
Bj.Avn;rl nn anery man for awhihv
malicioua man forever,